#insane melancholia and being bedridden for a few hours waiting for the day to pass by | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

macabrity · 5 months ago

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getting tired of being unmedicated. Waiting for my antidepressants to arrive in the mail with a perfectly still and focused tail. you know when goku is trying to sense Hit and is just sitting there with his eyes closed? that’s me too but at the mail truck.

#it’s just oscillating between painful mania if I don’t run around for a few miles right away or it’s #insane melancholia and being bedridden for a few hours waiting for the day to pass by #STUPID!!! what am I. eighteen again?? come ON #and it’s like I HAVE. a list of things I need and want to do but I look at it and feel. nothing. absolutely nothing at all.#and then evening weed time rolls around and I have to run around for 40 minutes while I’m still feeling sober to catch up #@myself: reread this when you’re going ‘oh I’m soooo past being mentally ill’#like for real my fucking. inability to settle into a task is getting in the way of things. growls #mac rambles

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