#insane i love their messy bitch ass selves

[bunni-bun]

we did it, lads, we finished only friends. can't believe this fucking messy ass show made my cry. incredible. also.......

like i get why some people would be mad about boston in the end tbh. but i also have to side with mew on this since i've been in that kind of situation.

like do i think boston can be a better person? absolutely. if ray's awful ass can do better for sand then so the fuck can boston. but nick was right to let him go because you can't force someone to change. they have to do that themselves and make that choice themselves. they also have to deal with the consequences of their actions. to forgive doesn't mean you forget. boston making out with boeing was fucked up, especially because nick's not stupid. and that being the nail in the coffin for nick really hit me more than i expected.

nick having put boston on that pedestal of love where a person can do no wrong is truly a steeple of a toxic relationship. i think they're so cute together and i love when they understand that they have love for each other. but some people do have to change and boston telling nick to accept him as he is isn't love, it's an excuse. you fuck around and eventually, you find out when everyone leaves you, including your friends.

i say that as someone who's ex is still just continuing the cycle of being manipulative and downright bad to someone else now, almost 14 years later. he can chose to change but he's also gotta face the consequences of his actions, like boston. they have to be alone for a while and make peace with themselves first before they can make full peace with others.

that said, ray's apology in therapy really had me crying with him because sand is just so patient with him, so kind and caring and so incredibly loving. a good partner, to me, is someone who you want to be a better person for. i think about my sister and her fiancé and how my sister can be a huge bitch but ever since she's been with him, she's been a lot kinder and nicer overall. i think her fiancé has made her better.

i know that the heavier topic of alcoholism only really delves into the story towards the end but i'm glad that ray went to rehab and got the help he needed. my father is a recovered alcoholic and he's been sober for over 16 years now. i'm proud of them, both of them. ray facing his fear and also understanding that he's the person he needs to control, not the environment, is a big step and i'm glad sand's by his side.

topmew and forgiveness is a really good arc. because forgiveness doesn't magically come at once but also holding that grudge won't help you forgive. his moms are great and so real for saying that. gotta love older lesbians for being the voices of reason. forgiveness takes time but one must find it in themselves to forgive first.

as always, lesbians are the only people i've trusted in this entire show. mew's moms and cheum & april make the mess worth it because they are all so wonderful together. to see older lesbians, who dote and love their son as much as they love each other, is just so wonderful, it brought me so much joy. to see lesbians my age just work through a rough patch but stay together no matter what was so hopeful. i love them.

overall, this show was so fucking messy and no one is a good or bad person, which is interesting. i liked it, all things considered. also, again, absolutely excellent soundtrack, 100000/10 no notes.

[maxdurden]

3, 5, 6, 7, 13, 17, 25, 26, 28, 30!!!!!!!!!! or as many as you want i just realized this is a lot of numbers!!!!!!!

3 Biggest self-insert OC?

definitely wes, it's not even a competition. sometimes self insert next gen au ocs for your favorite media can be something soo important to a teenager coping with untreated mental illness. but i also think i project at least a little onto every oc i make. i just think embuing the little guys that live in my head with a bit of my soul makes them more fun, sue me

5 What are some of your OCs biggest fears?

this is a hard question!! i think my ocs are consistently coping with the fear of being unlovable and alone. but also my ocs are very often super afraid of heights, which is definitely projection. wes is afraid of sharks and the ocean in general! that kid grew up near gotham harbor and you wouldn't trust large bodies of water if you'd grown up near that shit either!

6 Do you have any OCs without stories? Will you ever create one for them?

yeah! i have shelves full of ocs that i made in a blind haze and now they sit and collect dust in the broom closet of my mind. and honestly? who knows, but probably not. a bitch can barely write fanfic, not to mention a competent original story

7 What are your favourite relationships between your OCs? (romantic or platonic!)

my favorite relationships are always familial!!! i fucking,,,, LOVE exploring family dynamics in fiction i'm so normal about it. it's why peisistratus has basically the same amount of interaction with his brothers as he does with telemachus in bbyhr (and i think i should get to count AT LEAST echephron as an oc because i showed that man more love that homer ever dreamed of). but!! i had a superhero oc named jaime and their relationship with their dad (xander) was really fun to mess around with! the aforementioned wes has relationships with a lot of canon characters and their relationship with dick is sooo fun to think about (good relationship dynamic to squirm to, even).

i also really like really close friendships! like the kind where two characters just exist as their entire messy selves around each other because they're so close that it doesn't matter. wes was good friends with the xander i mentioned earlier and their dynamic was Ride Or Die, but then when they fought they were absolutely brutal to each other. very sibling-like ig lol

13 Which story has the most lore?

LISTEN i also don't do lore because i'm not a nerd. but if i did lore, it'd be the story that wes comes from. it was technically a dc related universe? i think it could generously be called an au, but it got so out of hand we ended up calling it the councilverse. it had enough of its own lore to justify being a whole ass other world. there were gods and sirens that had insane and deep lore completely unrelated to dc comics. not to mention!!! all the backstory for all the characters (i could not come close to giving an exhaustive list of all the characters. by the end of it there were roughly three or four generations, and three alternate universes within this one overarching concept of the councilverse. she was,,,, messy)

17 What are some tropes and character dynamics found in your wips?

most common character dynamic has to be Messy Family Dynamics. from parental issues to weird estranged siblings vibes, i simply cannot be stopped. swallows in the windless field is playing up the menoetius and patroclus drama, and braved by your hearts resolve is just a love letter to daddy issues lmao. i think i'm a big fan of slowburn tropes like yearning and obliviousness. and the power of friendship? is a trope you'll have to pry from my cold dead hands

25 What’s your favourite genre to write? Is it also your favourite genre to read?

lately i've been REALLY into writing historical fiction. i've enjoyed all the research i've gotten to do for bbyhr. but i also enjoy writing fantasy stuff maybe more! fantasy is by far my favorite thing to read, but i can be picky about historical fiction stuff. i also really like reading superhero stuff, but writing it makes me nervous (i do it for myself but idk that i'd ever publish it for fear of it not being that good and also for fear of dc comics fans [source: i am one and they are scary])

26 What are your favourite books?

i mean,,, i OBVIOUSLY have an unhealthy fixation on the odyssey and the iliad. so, ya know. we are the ants is a book that had a huge impact on me when it came out, it's kinda sci-fi ish but very fun! and i do, i think technically, have to give credit to the song of achilles and circe for being as formative as they were.

i've also been reading A LOT of comics lately because i realized you can get that shit for free on the internet (pls pls pls don't ask why it took 20+ years for me to figure this out i'm just an incredibly lil guy with not a very big brain). so i've recently revisited the red hood and arsenal run that rewrote my brain chemistry as a teenager. but also favorite comics could be a whole other conversation so maybe i should stop there lmao

28 Favourite songs at the moment?

ahh!! i have so many. i've been listening to a LOT of phoebe bridgers and boygenius. so smoke signals and icu are probably two songs that i spend the most time listening to rn.

but also! against the kitchen floor by will wood (i can finally listen to songs OTHER than this one now, though, which is great)

nightstand by dev lemons!! is really good

body to flame by lucy dacus

and!! the kingdom is within you by gang of youths (fun fact: listening to the gang of youths album angel in realtime. and day dreaming about fridging batman for the sake of drama between the robins is a very good pastime)

30 How are you doing? <3

i'm doing good! my birthday was yesterday :3 so that's neat. i am in desperate need of motivation to write (and a cure for the temptation to write jayroy fanfic)