#inotanfic-nosebleed

[catladywriter]

Inotan Fanfic: Nosebleed - Chapter 4

Gompachirou's Fault

Synopsis: Inosuke's mundane task of cleaning the neighbour's storeroom took an unexpected turn when he stumbled upon a hidden collection of erotic paintings. As his eyes roved over the provocative artwork, a nosebleed erupted, capturing Tanjirou's attention. As Tanjirou fussed over Inosuke's well-being, a flurry of unexpected and confusing emotions overwhelmed Inosuke, leaving him with a newfound awareness of his deeper feelings for Tanjirou.

Amidst the confusion, Zenitsu burst into the room, misinterpreting the situation entirely. Convinced that he had been excluded from a secret pornography viewing session, Zenitsu's outrage reached new heights, and all hell broke loose.

Pairing: Inotan (Inosuke x Tanjirou)

Setting: Canon AU, 1 year after the main story ends. Precursor to the Series: Where the Wisteria Always Bloom.

Wordcount: 9000+ words across 4 chapters

Chapters: 1 2 3 4

Status: Complete

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At breakfast time, Inosuke stormed into the kitchen, ignoring Tanjirou’s worried questioning. He sat down on the dining chair, slammed his boar mask on the table and grabbed a bowl of rice. He lifted a spoonful to his mouth, but almost dropped it when Nezuko let out a squeal.

 “Your nose is bleeding!” she cried, pointing at him with wide eyes.

“Has it not stopped since just now?” Tanjirou exclaimed, his voice laced with alarm.

"Have you tried stopping it with Total Concentration Breathing?" Zenitsu chimed in.

"I’m fine!" Inosuke bellowed, wiping the blood away roughly with the back of his hand. "Let me eat my breakfast in peace!"

He resumed his eating, shoveling food into his mouth as fast as he could. He felt his friends’ eyes on him, watching him with unease. He could sense Tanjirou’s gaze the most, burning into him with concern. Tanjirou hadn’t even touched his own food because he was too busy looking at Inosuke with worry. It made Inosuke eat even faster, as if he could escape from Tanjirou’s attention by finishing his meal. Just as he swallowed his last bite, Tanjirou got up and walked towards him.

Inosuke tensed up, ready to fight or flee. “What do you want now?” he snapped, backing away as Tanjirou’s face came closer.

“I just want to look at your nose,” Tanjirou said softly.

“No! Go away!” Inosuke resisted.

Tanjirou’s expression faltered. “Is it something I did?”

“Of course not! What could you possibly do to me?”

Of course, it had nothing to do with stupid Monjirou. Absolutely nothing. Okay, fine, maybe he had imagined his stupid face a little while touching himself earlier in the bathroom, but that was just a ridiculous side effect of those stupid pictures. It was bad enough that Tanjirou made him feel warm and fuzzy inside. Inosuke had learned to live with that. Now he had to deal with Tanjirou’s power to make him nosebleed from a distance.

“All right, if you won’t let me look at it, will you at least go to the doctor?” Tanjirou pleaded.

“Why should I? I’m fine!” Inosuke retorted.

“Listen, you really should get it checked out,” Zenitsu piped up. “Having a nosebleed from looking at or thinking about porn isn’t normal. If that were the case, I’d be bleeding to death by now.”

Nezuko furrowed her eyebrows, and Zenitsu hastily corrected himself. “Uh… I was exaggerating. Just trying to persuade him to see a doctor.”

“But I’m not sick!” Inosuke protested, sounding panicked.

“Don’t worry, it’s probably nothing,” Tanjirou soothed him, reaching out to put a gentle hand on his shoulder. Inosuke jumped away, and Tanjirou apologised. Turning to Zenitsu, he said, “Um… could it be that he’s reacting like this because it’s his first time seeing that kind of stuff? You know how sensitive he is…”

Inosuke felt his blood surge inside him. “Shut up, Gompachirou!” he screamed, waving his arms and stamping his feet. “This is all your fault! Don’t act like you know anything!”

Tanjirou swallowed, clearly stung by the accusation. He started to apologise, but Nezuko intervened.

"There, there, Inosuke," Nezuko said. "You can't blame Nii-chan for this. How was he supposed to know that our neighbours would have a collection of erotic art lying around?"

"Yeah, and let's not forget, you were the one who opened the box," Zenitsu quipped.

“No, it’s definitely my fault. I’m so sorry, Inosuke,” Tanjirou apologised again. “I should have thoroughly checked all the rooms before we started cleaning. I’m just relieved that it wasn’t Nezuko who stumbled upon the stash. Thank goodness for that. If we ever do house-cleaning for the neighbours again, I swear I’ll search every corner and crevice.”

Inosuke let out a frustrated snort. They were all off the mark, but he supposed it was still better than them knowing the truth.

“You don’t have to tell the doctor why you’re bleeding,” Tanjirou continued. “He’ll just check your nose, diagnose you and give you something to stop the symptoms.”

“Fine! I’ll go!” Inosuke snapped. He doubted that the doctor could help him if Tanjirou was the reason for his nosebleed. But it would at least stop Tanjirou from fussing and give him a chance to escape from him.

“But I don’t want you to come with me!” He told Tanjirou, his eyes avoiding his. “Anyone but you!”

“Not you too!” he protested when Nezuko offered. Nezuko had a knack for getting him to listen to her and subsequently do as she requested. He was afraid he’d blurt out his secret to her if she asked.

Which left...

“Tanjirooou! He almost broke my nose and didn’t even apologise, and now I have to take him to the doctor?” Zenitsu whined. Inosuke knew this was Zenitsu’s revenge for him threatening to expose his secret. Zenitsu was such a spiteful guy.

“I don’t need you to take me! I can go myself!”

“No, you can’t!!! You’ll freak out in the crowds and end up getting lost! And even if you do make it there, you’ll speak nonsense to the doctor and then punch him because he can’t understand you,” Zenitsu sobbed.

“Come on, Inosuke,” Nezuko coaxed. “Just apologise to Zenitsu and let him take you to the doctor, alright? Stop making us worry about you.”

Inosuke wavered for a moment, torn between his stubbornness and the sincere concern he saw in Nezuko’s eyes. A twinge of guilt settled upon him, as he realised that this wasn’t just about him. His best friends were worried about him too. As always, Nezuko had a way of reaching him, her words finding a path to his obstinate heart. Reluctantly, he gave in.

“Fine! Sorry, Monitsu!” Inosuke spat out. He quickly put his boar mask back over his head and ran toward the door.

“That’s not even my name,” Zenitsu sighed, but he got up and followed him.

*

At the doctor’s office, Zenitsu took the lead, describing when and where the nosebleeds began and how often they occurred, carefully leaving out any mention of the scrolls. The doctor asked Inosuke to take off his mask and prodded around his nostrils, making Inosuke wriggle uncomfortably. He almost punched the doctor, but Zenitsu held his arms, reminding him over and over that the King of Mountains should be brave and not mind a little prodding, much to the doctor’s bemusement. He felt an immense wave of relief when he could finally put his mask back on.

“You mentioned that the nosebleeds began while you were cleaning in the storeroom? Was there a lot of dust?” the doctor asked.

“Yeah, those damn books, they make me sneeze every time I flip a page,” Inosuke answered. He felt a nagging itch and unconsciously brought his hand to his nose, rubbing it slightly.

“And I suppose you rub your nose after you sneeze.”

“Obviously? It really itches.”

"Is it unusual for you to come into contact with dust?"

“Of course! I grew up among wild boars, and Tanjirou keeps our house really clean.” Inosuke said with a hint of pride.

The doctor gave him a weird look but returned to writing notes.

“Alright. Based on my examination and the information you gave, I can conclude that your nose was sensitive to the high amount of dust you were suddenly exposed to recently, and constantly rubbing it damaged the skin, making it prone to injury. I’ll prescribe an anti-allergen to stop the itch. If you avoid further exposure to dust and don’t rub your nose, you should be fine in a few days.”

“That’s it?” Inosuke couldn’t believe how simple the problem turned out to be. “So it’s not because I looked at pictures of people banging or because I dream about banging someone?!” He shouted so loudly that all the nurses and patients in the waiting area turned their heads to look at him.

“Technically, sexual arousal, as you described, can cause an increase in blood pressure, which leads to the expansion of blood vessels. It may result in flushing, or red face syndrome, and even erections. It’s normal and not harmful, and rarely does it cause bleeding. However, I would advise against frequent exposure to pornography as it can lead to intrusive thoughts and addiction that can negatively affect your daily life,” the doctor explained calmly.

Inosuke didn’t fully understand most of the jargon. The only thing that stood out to him was that he was normal. Pictures and stupid Gompachirou had no power over him.

“See, Zenitsu? I’m normal,” Inosuke exclaimed happily to his friend. “Pictures ain’t got nothing on me!”

“No, you’re not normal,” Zenitsu turned away, cringing in embarrassment. “Don’t talk to me or call my name. I don’t know you!”

*

On their way back home, Zenitsu couldn’t resist breaking the silence and pestering Inosuke.

“Who do you keep dreaming of banging?” Zenitsu asked.

“Huh?”

“You told the doctor you were dreaming of banging someone.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did.”

“You misheard me.”

“I never mishear anything,” Zenitsu reminded him.

Inosuke sighed in defeat. “Fine. But it’s my secret.”

“Okay, if you’re not telling, I’ll just have to guess. Let’s see, it must be someone you really like and are close to, which significantly narrows down the possibilities,” Zenitsu mused, a mischievous glint in his eyes. Inosuke couldn’t help but feel a shiver run down his spine at Zenitsu’s emphasis on the word ‘significantly’.

“How would you know that?” Inosuke snapped.

“It’s natural to be sexually attracted to people you have romantic feelings for or find attractive,” Zenitsu explained.

“How do I get rid of this feeling?” Inosuke demanded.

“It usually fades away when you stop liking them,” Zenitsu said.

Inosuke let out a frustrated snort. “How do I do that?”

“You find something you dislike about them and focus on it until you stop liking them.”

Inosuke racked his brain. He liked everything about Tanjirou - from his wavy maroon locks that seemed to flicker like embers in the sunlight, to the softness of his eyes that held an unspoken understanding. It wasn’t just his looks, though; it was the way his voice carried a calming melody, the touch of his callused hands grounding Inosuke like a reassuring anchor. Even Tanjirou’s cooking skills, which somehow managed to tame his ravenous appetite, added to the list of endearing traits.

Sure, Tanjirou’s fussing could be a bit overwhelming at times, and the unusual sensations he stirred within Inosuke left him feeling both flustered and annoyed. But he had to admit to himself, Tanjirou made him feel special, which was important to him. And the weird feelings did feel nice, if he had to be honest.

“Can’t think of anything I dislike.” Inosuke eventually muttered, frustrated.

Zenitsu grinned wickedly. “Then you find someone else to like.”

“But I don’t like anyone else or want to like someone else!”

“Too bad then,” Zenitsu shrugged. “But you're making me really curious. Who is it? Tell me!”

“I already said. It’s my secret,” Inosuke repeated.

“Let me guess… Is it someone at the Butterfly Estate? Is it Aoi? Is it Kanao?” Zenitsu cunningly darted back and forth, appearing on Inosuke’s right side and then swiftly reappearing on his left, so that it felt impossible to avoid his annoying questioning.

Suddenly, Zenitsu came to an abrupt halt and his face froze in horror. "Oh my god, it’s not Nezuko-chan, is it?! I’ll kill you!!!”

“It’s not any of them, and it’s definitely not Nezuko. That’s gross!” Inosuke shouted.

“Eeyaaargh! How dare you call my Nezuko-chan gross!” Zenitsu erupted, and the chase began. They sprinted all the way home, with Zenitsu's screams echoing through the air.

*

Dealing with Zenitsu was utterly draining, Inosuke thought, feeling the weight of exhaustion settle upon him. The guy would get all riled up whenever someone showed an interest in Nezuko. But then, he'd get equally worked up if others failed to appreciate Nezuko's adorable nature. Inosuke, despite being older, saw Nezuko as a sort of maternal figure. The mere thought of wanting to be intimate with her made him cringe in disgust. After mustering up an explanation that Zenitsu begrudgingly accepted, the relentless pestering finally ceased.

Relief flooded over Inosuke as he entered the comforting embrace of home, welcomed by the mouthwatering scent of lunch and crispy tempura. Tanjirou had cooked Inosuke’s favourite tempura as a special treat for his visit to the doctor.

Inosuke sprinted towards Tanjirou, clutching his haori sleeve. He had been frazzled and anxious by his nosebleeds and Zenitsu’s endless screeching. But now, with Tanjirou’s reassuring presence, he felt comforted that his friend wasn’t the trigger for his nosebleeds. Inosuke dreaded the thought of losing his soothing touch.

“I’m totally fine! Those dumb pictures had nothing to do with it. It was just some dust, but I'm all good now, not even a sneeze!” Inosuke proclaimed loudly, his voice brimming with confidence.

“I’m so glad, Inosuke! So, it wasn’t my fault after all?” Tanjirou smiled brightly, his cheerful personality shining through; like he didn’t have a care in the world. As if he hadn’t given Inosuke countless restless nights. As if he wasn’t the reason for those weird and confusing feelings. As if he didn’t haunt Inosuke’s dreams, sparking urges that made him hot and flustered.

Inosuke had a sudden image of himself pinning Tanjirou beneath him, doing unspeakable acts to him and wiping that blissfully oblivious smile off his face.

No, no, no! Bad Inosuke, bad! That was a horrible thing to imagine. Stop it! Stop it right now!

Tanjirou looked at him with concern as Inosuke headbutted the wall repeatedly. “Uh… Inosuke?!”

“It’s definitely your damn fault, Gompachirou! I swear I’ll find your weakness and bring you down!!!”

The End.

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Author's Notes: Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed my fic, it’d really make my day if you could drop a like, reblog, and/or comment to let me know! This story is also published on AO3 where you can comment anonymously! Although I mostly write for myself, your encouragement keeps me motivated to post and share my work.

[catladywriter]

Inotan Fanfic: Nosebleed - Chapter 3

Secrets

Synopsis: Inosuke's mundane task of cleaning the neighbour's storeroom took an unexpected turn when he stumbled upon a hidden collection of erotic paintings. As his eyes roved over the provocative artwork, a nosebleed erupted, capturing Tanjirou's attention. As Tanjirou fussed over Inosuke's well-being, a flurry of unexpected and confusing emotions overwhelmed Inosuke, leaving him with a newfound awareness of his deeper feelings for Tanjirou.

Amidst the confusion, Zenitsu burst into the room, misinterpreting the situation entirely. Convinced that he had been excluded from a secret pornography viewing session, Zenitsu's outrage reached new heights, and all hell broke loose.

Pairing: Inotan (Inosuke x Tanjirou)

Setting: Canon AU, 1 year after the main story ends. Precursor to the Series: Where the Wisteria Always Bloom.

Wordcount: 9000+ words across 4 chapters

Chapters: 1 2 3 4

Status: Complete

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In the confined storeroom, with only Inosuke and Zenitsu present, Zenitsu once again attempted to extract information from his stubborn companion regarding Tanjirou's mysterious "experience."

"Inosuke, come on! Just a tiny hint, please?" Zenitsu pleaded, his eyes wide with anticipation.

Inosuke’s folded arms and icy stare showed his resolve. “I already told you, it’s Monjirou’s secret, and it’s my duty as the Boss to protect it. Quit asking, or I’ll punch you!” A trace of hostility tinged his voice, sending a clear threat to Zenitsu.

Dejected, Zenitsu groaned and reluctantly shifted his attention back to the task at hand—packing up the cleaning supplies. Yet, a nagging thought gnawed at Inosuke’s mind. Why was everyone making such a big deal about this mating thing? Wasn’t it just a natural process for making babies? And, more bafflingly, why on earth would anyone create graphic paintings of such acts? Paintings were meant for decoration, right? Inosuke couldn’t comprehend who would exhibit such obscene artwork. Judging by their hidden location in a box at the bottom of the cupboard, even the neighbour seemed indifferent to displaying them. He expressed his bewilderment to Zenitsu, who sighed and sat down beside him.

"Having sex, or mating, as you call it, isn't just about procreation, Inosuke. It's also about pleasure," Zenitsu explained. "Remember our mission in Yoshiwara? It's a place where people seek out sexual services for their desires and needs."

Inosuke stared blankly, the concept still eluding him.

Rubbing his head in annoyance, Zenitsu searched for the right words. "Um, you know that feeling when your body is all... um, aroused and you need to find relief?" He made clumsy gestures around his crotch area, hoping to get his point across.

"Huh, yeah, I know.” Inosuke nodded. “Why would I need someone for that? I just do it myself."

"Yeah, that's what I do too," Zenitsu concurred. "But when you’re in love with someone, you crave them and want to share that thrill with them. It's completely different from just satisfying sexual urges. It's hard to describe, but you'll probably get it when you fall for someone you love. You'll want to touch them...but if you're unsure of their feelings for you, you also feel shy and restrain yourself because you're afraid of being rejected and driving them away," Zenitsu said, almost to himself, as if he were reliving very personal experiences.

Inosuke’s mind flashed back to the memory of Tanjirou straddling him to check his bleeding nose, which sparked unfamiliar sensations within him, kindling a desire to touch him back in ways he had never felt before.

Intrigued, Inosuke couldn’t help asking, “Do those feelings grow when that someone touches you while you’re, you know, in heat?”

Zenitsu glared at him. “Aroused, not in heat. That’s for animals.”

“Same thing. Answer me.” Inosuke pressed on.

Zenitsu mulled over it for a moment, puckering his lips in thought. “I guess they should, but honestly, I’m not sure. I mean, no girl has ever touched me,” he said sadly. Suddenly, his eyes widened, and he whirled around to face Inosuke. “Hold on! Why are you so curious about this? Do you have some experience?”

A smug grin spread across Inosuke’s face. “That’s my secret.”

Zenitsu’s annoyance reached its limit. “How can you and Tanjirou keep secrets from me? I share everything with you!” He complained, folding his arms with irritation.

“No, you’re just bad at keeping secrets,” Inosuke snorted. "I bet you think about mating with Nezuko all the time.”

“Eeeyarrgh! First of all, don’t use that word ‘mating’!” Zenitsu shrieked, his face turning bright pink. “And secondly, how dare you reveal my thoughts like that?” His voice hit a high pitch, reserved for moments of extreme joy or embarrassment.

“It’s obvious,” Inosuke said, rolling his eyes and shaking his head at Zenitsu’s dramatic reaction.

“I hope it’s not!” Zenitsu sobbed, his voice quivering with panic. "If Tanjirou finds out about it, he’ll do more than headbutt me. He’ll literally chop off my head!”

“Why? You just said it’s something people in love might want to do,” Inosuke argued, genuinely puzzled by the potential gravity of the situation, that Zenitsu would accuse a gentle soul like Tanjirou of extreme violence against his friend.

Zenitsu let out a long sigh, trying to find the right words to explain. “It’s like marching up to someone’s dad and confessing that you want to bang his daughter. That’s just asking for trouble.”

"Bang…?" Inosuke’s eyes widened with curiosity, trying to grasp the meaning of Zenitsu’s word choice.

“It’s just another way of saying ‘have sex’.”

“Oh. But Tanjirou isn’t Nezuko’s dad.”

“Obviously.” Zenitsu rolled his eyes. “But telling someone’s brother that you want to bang his sister is also highly inappropriate. It’s just asking for a beating, you know?”

“Well, I know Tanjirou’s headbutts are no joke, but if you really wanted to, you could probably still fight him.” Inosuke grinned, imagining the hypothetical confrontation.

“Arghh! How did I even get into this topic with you?” Zenitsu sighed, his shoulders slumping in exasperation. “Listen, if you ever want to pursue a romantic relationship with someone, picking fights with their family members is an absolute no-no, understand? And regardless of whether you fully grasp it or not, promise me you’ll keep this as my secret and guard it with your life. Deal?”

“Fine,” Inosuke smirked, feeling a sense of superiority that his closest friends entrusted their deepest, darkest secrets to him. But as the conversation took this intriguing turn, a genuine question formed in his mind.

“Is it okay to tell someone you want to bang them?” Inosuke asked.

“Absolutely not. You’d get slapped,” Zenitsu shook his head, his eyes widening at the audacity of the question. “I mean, if you were actually dating, it might be acceptable to ask. But honestly, I have no clue. I haven’t had any luck myself.”

Inosuke let out a frustrated sigh. Why did this have to be so complicated?

“When animals want to mate, they just do a mating dance,” Inosuke stated matter-of-factly.

Zenitsu rolled his eyes, clearly exasperated. “Seriously? I’ve told you this already. Animal mating is not the same as human relationships. Look, if it helps you get the idea, think of dating as a sort of mating dance. No actual dancing involved, but you hang out with someone and do things to impress them, showing off your strengths and making them want to be with you.”

Inosuke thought back to the moments he shared with Tanjirou, recalling how Tanjirou often asked for his opinion on important matters and openly expressed how being with Inosuke made him feel secure. He felt a warm and fuzzy feeling in his chest.

“Got it!” Inosuke exclaimed, smacking his palm with a fist. “So…I’m dating Tanjirou?”

Zenitsu’s eyes popped out with disbelief. “No, you moron! Hanging out with a friend is not the same as dating! Gosh, trying to teach you is enough to make my blood vessels burst.” He said, his voice shrill and frantic.

“Tsk. Then how do I know if I’m dating someone?” Inosuke scowled.

Zenitsu started to explain but quickly changed his tone, a wicked grin spreading across his face. “Why all the sudden questions? Do you have someone in mind that you want to date and bang?”

 “No way!” Inosuke snapped, feeling his face going red. 

“Oh, come on! You already know my darkest secret. Share yours with me,” Zenitsu coaxed.

"Damn right you are! I know your darkest secret, and if you keep asking, I'll tell Tanjirou and Nezuko," Inosuke threatened.

“That’s not fair!” Zenitsu whined.

*

A few hours before dawn, Inosuke tossed and turned in bed, tormented by frustration. Sleeping through the night had never been a problem for him until that fateful afternoon in the storeroom. For three consecutive nights since, he had been rudely awakened by a series of perplexing and disconcerting wet dreams, an unsettling fusion of lewd scroll scenes intertwined with visions of Tanjirou.

“Damn you, Gompachirou,” Inosuke muttered, sitting up and casting an annoyed glance at Tanjirou peacefully slumbering beside him. How dare Tanjirou sleep so soundly when he was the source of Inosuke’s insomnia? Part of him wanted to shake Tanjirou awake, rough and abrupt. But as he leaned closer, an odd warmth and tingling sensation washed over him, making him hesitate.

His fingers wandered to Tanjirou’s hair, which had grown longer over time. Tenderly, he caressed the strands, reliving past memories. He vividly recalled the first time he touched Tanjirou’s hair after the final battle, after Tanjirou had returned to his normal self. It had felt like the best thing he’d ever touched, despite being damp and sticky with perspiration and blood.

Suddenly, Tanjirou’s eyes fluttered open, causing Inosuke to startle and fall backward in surprise.

“Why did you suddenly wake up and scare me like that?!” Inosuke exclaimed, clutching his pounding heart as Tanjirou sat up.

“Sorry. But why were you leaning over me and touching my hair?” Tanjirou asked, sounding genuinely curious.

Inosuke’s mind raced to find an excuse. “There was a bug in your hair! I was removing it,” he eventually blurted out. He hoped Tanjirou would buy his lie.

“Oh, I see. Thanks, Inosuke!” Tanjirou beamed with gratitude. He reached out to pat Inosuke’s head, making him blush harder.

“Hmmph,” Inosuke huffed, though relief washed over him more than annoyance. Zenitsu always gave this excuse when caught touching Nezuko’s hair, and Inosuke found it foolish. Nezuko would give Zenitsu a strange look whenever he said it. It was clear that she didn’t buy it either. Inosuke couldn’t believe it was the first lame excuse that came to his mind. Fortunately, Tanjirou seemed unsuspecting and genuinely appreciative. Stupid Gompachirou, always making me feel weird all over, he thought.

“Anyway, I woke up suddenly because I smelled blood,” Tanjirou explained. “Your blood, to be precise. I hope you didn’t get bitten or something.”

Inosuke had to squeeze his eyes shut for a moment as Tanjirou held a lamp near his face.

“It’s your nose! It’s bleeding!” Tanjirou exclaimed.

“Huh!” Inosuke brought his hand to his nose and discovered blood on it.

Oh no, not again! Inosuke groaned inwardly. He had suffered from occasional nosebleeds over the past three days since coming back from cleaning the neighbours’ house. It usually started from a burning itch in his nose, which would make him lift his boar mask and rub it vigorously. He always managed to take care of it before anyone else could notice. He tried to shrug it off because a nosebleed seemed like such a trivial thing compared to the battle wounds he had endured in near-death experiences before. But he couldn’t help feeling uneasy now. Why did it keep happening, seemingly out of nowhere? Could it be because of those stupid wet dreams? Could Tanjirou be the cause of this?!

“How do you feel? Are you dizzy? Are you unwell?” Tanjirou cupped Inosuke’s face in his hands, closing the distance between them. Inosuke could feel his heart pounding, his face growing hotter by the second. Part of him wanted to pull Tanjirou closer and bridge the narrow gap between them.

Zenitsu’s grumpy, sleepy voice came from Tanjirou’s other side. “Why are you both making such a racket this early in the morning?”

Snapping out of his trance, Inosuke shoved Tanjirou away and dashed out of the bedroom, shouting for Tanjirou not to follow him.

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Author's Notes: This was a short but fun chapter, with more awkward sex talk, sharing of deep dark secrets (lol), and poor Zenitsu being saddled with the thankless task of educating Inosuke. Also featuring one of my favourite romantic tropes - hair touching! In the upcoming and final chapter, titled "Gompachirou's Fault," we'll finally uncover the reason behind poor Inosuke's nosebleed (hint: it's not what the chapter title suggests). Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed my fic, it’d really make my day if you could drop a like, reblog, and/or comment to let me know! This story is also published on AO3 where you can comment anonymously! Although I mostly write for myself, your encouragement keeps me motivated to post and share my work.

[catladywriter]

Inotan Fanfic: Nosebleed - Chapter 2

Loser

Synopsis: Inosuke's mundane task of cleaning the neighbour's storeroom took an unexpected turn when he stumbled upon a hidden collection of erotic paintings. As his eyes roved over the provocative artwork, a nosebleed erupted, capturing Tanjirou's attention. As Tanjirou fussed over Inosuke's well-being, a flurry of unexpected and confusing emotions overwhelmed Inosuke, leaving him with a newfound awareness of his deeper feelings for Tanjirou.

Amidst the confusion, Zenitsu burst into the room, misinterpreting the situation entirely. Convinced that he had been excluded from a secret pornography viewing session, Zenitsu's outrage reached new heights, and all hell broke loose.

Pairing: Inotan (Inosuke x Tanjirou)

Setting: Canon AU, 1 year after the main story ends. Precursor to the Series: Where the Wisteria Always Bloom.

Wordcount: 9000+ words across 4 chapters

Chapters: 1 2 3 4

Status: Complete

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Inosuke couldn't believe how a mundane afternoon had spiraled into a full-blown catastrophe. The nosebleeds had stopped, but the aftermath was far from over. Tanjirou knelt in one corner, an aura of gloom surrounding him as he lamented his failure as the eldest brother, blaming himself for exposing Nezuko to such indecent content. Zenitsu lay in another corner, whimpering and clutching his chest, as if he had suffered a heart attack. He kept moaning about how Nezuko must think of him as a hopeless pervert.

Inosuke couldn't bring himself to sympathise with Zenitsu, considering he was the one who started the entire mess. However, he did feel a pang of guilt for Tanjirou. Did Tanjirou now view him as a pervert too? The thought enraged Inosuke, and he shot a fierce glare at the scattered piles of scrolls surrounding them. It was the fault of those wretched scrolls for existing, and those depraved artists for creating them. Yes, they were the true depraved ones, not him. Yet, he was the one facing the consequences. It just wasn't fair!

“Stop sulking like a bunch of babies! It won’t change anything! Let’s just burn these damn scrolls and be done with it!” Inosuke yelled, reaching for the nearest scroll. But before he could grab it, both Zenitsu and Tanjirou shouted at him.

"You can't burn them! These are valuable antique Shunga prints! They’re part of history and culture!” Zenitsu cried out. "Give them to me! I’ll keep them safe and out of sight."

Tanjirou shook his head firmly. “These scrolls belong to Takahashi-san. We have to roll them back carefully and put them back in their box. We shouldn’t have touched them at all, let alone thrown them around.” Tanjirou gave Inosuke and Zenitsu a reproachful look.

Grudgingly, they resumed their task, moving about the room to collect the scrolls and roll them back. Inosuke couldn't bear to look at the explicit pictures that seemed to leap off the pages. He flipped the scrolls face down and attempted to roll them in that position, struggling a bit. Zenitsu couldn’t help but snicker at his clumsy attempts.

"You know, even I don’t get nosebleeds from seeing stuff like this. You must be really naive and ignorant," Zenitsu teased, his sniggering tone implying a superiority that irked Inosuke. Slamming down the scroll he held, Inosuke fired back.

“That’s because you’ve only seen pictures, and lame ones at that. I’ve seen the real thing,” Inosuke bragged, puffing out his chest.

“Oh, really?” Zenitsu said sarcastically.

“Yes! I’ve seen animals mating in the wild,” Inosuke announced proudly.

Zenitsu burst into laughter. "I can't believe you just said that! Well, actually, I can. But mating and having sex are different. Of course, I wouldn't expect a boar like you to understand."

"They're the same! And of course, you wouldn't know because your knowledge of mating comes from pictures and words," Inosuke shot back.

Inosuke saw a flash of annoyance and shame on Zenitsu’s face. He knew he had hit a nerve. Zenitsu glared at Inosuke and said, “You’re really going all out for the attack, aren’t you? Well, they are not the same thing!”

"They are the same. Loser!"

"You're the one who nose-bled over a bunch of pictures, loser!"

"No, you're the loser! You’ve only seen pictures!"

"Animals mating and humans having sex are not the same, loser!"

“They are too! Ask Tanjirou, he’ll agree with me.”

Inosuke always resorted to asking Tanjirou when he ran out of arguments or logic. He trusted Tanjirou to be a fair judge because he always took his side. Even if Tanjirou didn’t fully agree with him, he would explain things in a way that Inosuke could accept. Inosuke wasn’t a stubborn or unreasonable boss, after all. And Tanjirou was a loyal and sensible underling who always listened to him.

But Zenitsu clearly didn’t share his trust in Tanjirou and scoffed at his suggestion. “Tanjirou?! Tanjirou is so pure-hearted and innocent, I doubt he knows anything about this stuff.”

Inosuke glanced at the subject of their conversation, who was kneeling in another corner next to a stack of scrolls, diligently smoothing out their creases. Absorbed in his task, Tanjirou seemed unaware of their heated debate. Inosuke noticed that Tanjirou had also flipped the scrolls over, which filled him with a sense of satisfaction.

“Yeah,” he agreed, smirking at Zenitsu. “I bet he hasn’t even seen pictures before this. That makes him the biggest loser. And you’re second.”

“No, you,” Zenitsu countered, a wicked smile forming on his face. “We should ask him.”

“That’s exactly what I’m thinking,” Inosuke grinned back, eager to confirm his deductions and relish the rare chance to outdo Tanjirou. And maybe to get back at him for making him feel all those strange feelings earlier.

He turned and shouted, "Hey, Kentarou, get over here!"

Tanjirou looked up, puzzled. He carefully set aside the scroll he had been working on and walked over to them.

"Sit down," Zenitsu gestured, tapping the empty space between him and Inosuke.

Tanjirou complied, asking, "What's going on?"

“Have you ever seen mating before?” Inosuke blurted out the question without any explanation.

"Mating??" Tanjirou's maroon eyes widened.

"He means making love. Having sex. Geez, Inosuke. You can't talk about humans like animals!"

"It's the same thing."

"No, it's not! Well, Tanjirou, have you?"

Tanjirou turned crimson.

"Why are you asking me this?" Tanjirou replied, his expression a mix of embarrassment and utter confusion.

“Just answer the question!” Inosuke pressed. 

Tanjirou nervously chuckled, his whole face and ears on fire. "Of course not. Why would I? I have no experience with such things. None at all. Ahaha.”

Inosuke’s triumph turned into a sinking feeling. Tanjirou was an open book, and that grotesque expression he wore now was the same one he always had when he lied. Zenitsu seemed to catch on too, as his face darkened.

“What kind of experience are you talking about?” Zenitsu asked menacingly.

“N-nothing!” Tanjirou squeaked, trying to back away. But Zenitsu leaped to his feet and grabbed Tanjirou by the collar.

“Hypocrite! Fake! You always act so pure-hearted and wholesome, but you’re sleeping with girls behind my back!”

Tanjirou’s eyes widened in shock and his mouth dropped open. He looked like he had been slapped in the face. “Sleeping with girls?! What are you saying?” Tanjirou exclaimed.

Inosuke cocked his head in confusion. He didn’t understand why Zenitsu was so angry all of a sudden. Wasn’t the topic about seeing mating acts? What was the big deal about sleeping with someone? After all, they all slept together, didn’t they?

“You’re unbelievable! I should have known from the start! You’re always charming the girls and they’re always swooning over you! So tell me! Who did you sleep with?! Was it someone from the Butterfly Estate? Is it Kanao?!” Zenitsu’s eyes popped out with veins as he yelled in Tanjirou’s face.

“I haven’t slept with anyone! And you’re being incredibly rude and indecent to the girls. Stop it right now, or you’ll be sorry!” Tanjirou’s previous embarrassment and confusion turned into pure rage. It was the rare kind of rage that Inosuke had seen from Tanjirou when he witnessed great injustice or disrespect to his friends. He knew Zenitsu was in for it if he didn’t stop soon. But Zenitsu was too far gone to see it. He kept ranting and screaming, naming Tanjirou’s supposed “sleep partners,” while the dark aura around Tanjirou grew more threatening.

Suddenly, Tanjirou lunged forward. A loud thud followed by a sickening crack echoed in the room, and Zenitsu collapsed unconscious. The silence that followed Zenitsu’s screams was deafening.

"Well," Tanjirou cleared his throat, "I guess he'll be out for awhile. We should get back to work on the scrolls. You'll help me, won't you?" He shot a grimace at Inosuke.

“Y-yes! Of course! You can rely on me,” Inosuke stuttered, quickly rolling up the scrolls.

No one in their right mind would dare to oppose Tanjirou after seeing his formidable headbutt, which boasted a 100% success rate once it hit its target.

*

They worked in awkward silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Inosuke’s curiosity nagged at him, wanting to know more about Tanjirou’s mysterious “experience,” but he was afraid to ask. The dark aura that still lingered around Tanjirou made him think twice about prying further.

Deep down, a flicker of irritation sparked in Inosuke, fueled by the idea of Tanjirou once again surpassing him. Tanjirou, his loyal underling number one, had somehow achieved something he hadn’t, even in this area. It didn’t sit well with Inosuke, especially since Tanjirou always asked for his permission for important things. Shouldn’t Tanjirou have consulted him first?

Within Inosuke’s heart, a seed of jealousy sprouted and began to grow. He didn’t like the idea of Tanjirou sleeping with someone else—an expression he had come to understand as Zenitsu's convoluted way of referring to mating. He felt like he had something with Tanjirou, and he didn’t want anyone else messing with it. But he wasn’t sure what this something was, or why it made him feel so odd. All he knew was that it made him confused and angry, and he blamed Zenitsu for putting these thoughts in his head. The rising frustration within him threatened to explode, and he had to resist the urge to throw scrolls at Zenitsu’s motionless body.

Though Inosuke couldn’t quite understand the feelings stirring within him, he felt relieved as the task came to an end. The scrolls were neatly rolled and put back in their box, a sense of order restored.

“Good job, Inosuke. I knew I could count on you!” Tanjirou smiled at him, filling Inosuke with a soothing wave of warm and fuzzy feelings. Tanjirou had returned to his usual sunny self, encouraging Inosuke to seize the chance and ask more about the elusive “experience.”

"So, who was it?"

"Who?" Tanjirou asked, puzzled.

"The one you had that experience with! The one you slept with!" Inosuke blurted out.

Tanjirou groaned, exasperated. "Don't listen to Zenitsu. I haven't slept with anyone."

"Then what was that experience about?" Inosuke demanded.

"You were asking if I'd witnessed anyone mating, I mean, having sex, right? So, that's what I was referring to. I was answering that question. I mean, I lied about not seeing it when I actually have. But I haven't slept with anyone."

"Oh," Inosuke replied, feeling a weight he hadn't realised existed lift from his chest.

"In that case, I'm off to make some ice for Zenitsu's head," Tanjirou said, turning to tend to their fallen friend.

But before he could leave, Inosuke grabbed his hand. "Wait! Tell me about your experience!"

Tanjirou hesitated, his face flushed. “Well… it’s kind of embarrassing, and I’d rather keep it to myself, if that’s okay…” 

“No way! You’re my underling! You’re supposed to tell me everything!” Inosuke exclaimed, roughly grabbing Tanjirou’s cheeks and tugging them hard, making Tanjirou yelp in pain.

“Fine, fine! I give up! I’ll tell!” Tanjirou cried out, his face still flushed with red.

Satisfied, Inosuke let go and leaned in eagerly, waiting for the revelation.

“When I was a kid, I heard some strange noises coming from my parents’ room, so I peeked inside. I didn’t know any better, but something caught my curiosity, and I secretly watched for a few nights until my parents caught me. They yelled at me to leave, and then they sat me down for a serious talk… about how babies are made… and that’s when I learned…” Tanjirou covered his face with his hands, shuddering at the memory.

But Inosuke’s spirits soared with delight. He burst into gleeful laughter and slapped Tanjirou hard on the shoulder. “I thought it was some big deal, but it turned out to be so lame,” he snorted. “But since you’re so embarrassed by it, don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me. I’ll take it to the grave.”

“Um… it’s not that serious. I mean, it’s not the kind of thing I’d proudly announce, but even if you were to tell Zenitsu, it’s alright. Just, um… please don’t tell Nezuko,” Tanjirou requested.

Inosuke assured him, thumping his chest proudly, “No worries. No one else, not even Zenitsu, will hear about this. You can count on me.”

Moments later, Zenitsu regained consciousness, groaning as he struggled to sit up. "A wrecked nose and a goose egg from my so-called best friends, and Nezuko-chan thinks I'm a pervert. This is just not my day," he complained. Tanjirou knelt beside him, helping him to sit up.

“I’m sorry about the headbutt, Zenitsu. But you shouldn’t have made such rude accusations about the girls. It’s really impolite and indecent. I didn’t sleep with them or anyone else, for that matter,” Tanjirou explained sincerely.

“Why did you have to lie, then?!” Zenitsu demanded. Tanjirou’s face turned red again.

“Don’t bother asking. Monjirou has entrusted me with his secret and I’ve promised to keep it safe. It’s our little secret,” Inosuke announced smugly, much to Zenitsu’s annoyance. Zenitsu persisted, pestering Tanjirou to reveal the secret, only to fall silent when Tanjirou warned him, “Do you want another goose egg?”

"In any case," Inosuke declared, a triumphant grin on his face, "I pronounce it a draw between me and Tontarou. So that makes you the loser, Monitsu." He jeered at Zenitsu, reveling in his moment of victory. "But mark my words, Tontarou," Inosuke continued, pointing confidently at Tanjirou, "I'll top you one day."

“What do you mean by a draw?! Did you watch cats mating or something?” Zenitsu demanded. 

Ignoring his question, Tanjirou swiftly changed the subject. "Hey, I'm starving! It must be almost dinner time! You two can pack up the cleaning supplies. I'll step outside to write a letter for the neighbours to remind them to properly secure their paintings. They have two young grandchildren, and it would be a disaster if they came over to play and accidentally stumbled upon them."

Tanjirou left the room, and they could hear him loudly and deliberately explaining his plan to Nezuko, as if he feared she wouldn’t understand that the paintings didn’t actually belong to them.

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Author's Notes: Penning this chapter was an absolute delight! I couldn't resist exploring Inosuke and Zenitsu's silly rivalry over their questionable expertise in the realm of "mating acts." Ah, the foolishness of teenage boys knows no bounds! And of course, Tanjirou's unstoppable iron head makes a grand entrance again! While I can't recall if Zenitsu ever received Tanjirou's headbutt in the canon, I couldn't resist giving him a taste of it here. I can't help feeling that if he did get one in canon, our ears would be spared from his frequent screaming. Oh, but who am I kidding? His antics have grown on me, and now he practically screams in all my fics. 😫 Now that Tanjirou's secret is out, it's time to wonder... do Inosuke and Zenitsu have secrets of their own? Find out in the next chapter titled "Secrets". Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed my fic, it’d really make my day if you could drop a like, reblog, and/or comment to let me know! This story is also published on AO3 where you can comment anonymously! Although I mostly write for myself, your encouragement keeps me motivated to post and share my work.