#innocent stork

[gnbrkrs]

Viper questline impressions now that I've finally done it

It went pretty much as I expected it to go (as I was wondering whether there would be more twists I wasn't noticing at certain points, but there weren't). I feel like overall it was okay. There were good things about it, but it also fell to some very specific writing pet peeves in my book that prevented it from standing out in comparison to other job questlines. My one particular frustration was the amount of time it forces you to follow along with what Innocent Stork does despite the fact that her villainy is revealed pretty early on and overall telegraphed rather clearly even without the cutscene that revealed it. There was a similar moment with Misija in Bozja, but that was kind of mitigated by the facts that Bozja was a longer story overall and we don't spend half of it doing the villain's bidding as our characters stay oblivious, as well as Misija being a more complex/ higher-stakes villain (which Innocent Stork is not). I know I criticized one aspect of the Sage questline on EW release, which is that the villain's writing suffered because of a poorly landed "villain who seemed to have reasons is actually just an asshole" twist (as we only get hints of him being sympathetic, but never buy into the idea wholly for the twist to work). I feel like Innocent Stork's character suffers a problem that is kind of the opposite, where she is a clear-cut evil antagonist with no redeeming qualities, but also the clarity of it makes certain moments in the story frustrating because you are also locked into following along. I think this is the case where showing less would have been more, and her betrayal being less foreseeable would have made the first half of the story easier to follow. On a brighter note, as I already said, I really like Keshkwa's character and his (initial) awkwardness. It creates some moments that range from funny to endearing, and I like how he is actually capable despite it and learns to overcome it over the course of the storyline, eventually managing to pull Golias out of trouble. I kind of wish his personal vendetta against Iq Soq Xmajun/ the loss of his comrades was more elaborated on, as it is a personal bit of the character, but at the same time I feel like if it was, the questline may have ended up too similar to the ShB tank role questline. Overall, he is a highlight of the questline for me. I don't think I particularly feel one way or another about Golias. I suspected something was fishy about him early on, but it also became pretty clear a quest later. I guess it makes sense that he is so easy to read, with him being that naive and gullible. I guess good for him that Keshkwa bailed him out and made him his assistant.

Overall, I'd say the questline is pretty straightforward (in certain regards too straightforward for my taste). The whole "following along the villain as the viewer knows" thing aside, I don't think I noticed any other things from a writing perspective, but with that said, it also doesn't stand out to me as some of the other questlines in the game do. Now on to finish the melee DPS EW role quest, and I can finally do the MSQ.

[wine-dark-soup]

golias and keshkwa. anyone.

[animelovermurillo]

“… It’s joking time… AHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA~!!!! And I’ll be saving the best for last…”

Luna’s Prank War Attire

The Prank Queen has arrived and she ready to wreak havoc on any Sky Knight who will try to steal her crown 🃏🤣😆

[tender-rosiey]

can i have more gojo fluff plsplsplspls i crave for more gojo fluff

gossip — gojo satoru xf!reader

a/n: gossip with husband gojo is here everyone! next up is sick gojo ;)) ( also sorry to all the stacy's out there; i am sure you are all wonderfull <33)

you and your husband love shit-talking people and the thing is you don’t even have to say anything. one look at each other and you both know what you’re both thinking.

consequently, it makes you guys absolutely terrible in a meeting.

and this is something that happens ever since you were students.

for example, yaga was lecturing you and the others about something. you and satoru locked eyes for a single moment, looked at yaga, then at each other once again.

both of you are barely able to contain your smiles.

in this relationship, you’re supposed to be the mature one, at least, before gojo mouthed a “tennis ball” pointing at his own head.

it looks like that was your breaking point because you started cackling loudly and almost fell off your chair if it wasn’t for satoru teleporting beside you and holding you up— barely holding back a cackle of his own.

yaga merely sighed, pinching his nose.

you tried your best to breathe out a sorry, but satoru is merciless as he continues joking about his teacher’s hairstyle which makes you laugh even louder.

yaga could smack gojo across the head and lecture you both separately.

but he guesses that with the way gojo’s eyes are brimming with adoration and the way you’re laughing and making the others around you laugh as well, he can let it pass.

even if it’s at his own expense this time.

everyone needed a laughing break every once in a while, especially as sorcerers.

now nothing has changed. you’re both married, completely in love and are teachers.

and you’re supposed to be teaching your class, at the moment.

but your dumbass of a husband thought it would be better to teleport to your favourite café and judge every poor soul out there.

“he looks like he eats deodorant.”

“he looks like he has a body pillow for a wife.”

“she looks like she thinks babies come from storks.”

“she looks like she eats soap and chia seeds for breakfast.”

“satoru, please,” you wheeze, hand over your mouth to muffle your laughs, “I c-can’t take it anymore!”

“but y/n, I can’t help myself! also that couple over there looks like the ones that wear matching hello kitty pijamas.”

you perk up at that, “satoru, we did that too.”

“I know, honey,” he quips, eyes locking with your own, “it’s cool when we do it, not anyone else,” he argues with a proud smile.

you shake your head as you mumble, “hypocrite,” and satoru gasps while trying to defend himself.

another instance is while training the first and second years.

naturally, you were sat beside satoru, but the idiot could not keep his mouth shut and you were, too easily, dragged into it.

he leans towards you, “I can’t believe that that yuuji went into the water with socks. what’s wrong with him?!”

“I know, right?” you whisper, amidst the yelling of nobara and maki.

after that, you and gojo don’t leave a student without making a comment about them—ruthless you are.

yuuji, self-esteem dragged through the mud and having enough, heads snaps towards you both, “can you stop bullying me?!”

satoru smiles while the both of you raises your hands in innocence then looks at you, “sweets, you know how megumi said todo’s head is like a pineapple?”

you nod and he gladly continues, “don’t you think it’s ironic that it’s him, out of everyone, that said that?—“

“DON’T DRAG ME INTO YOUR GOSSIP!”

and even though you talk about the kids, you also talk with them about everyone else.

you can never forget that time you went with the first years to get some sushi.

you had left no one in the restaurant without butchering their entire life or alternatively said: you made up stories for every person you saw.

but that shall be the story of another time.

along with judging every creature that has come to existence, you and your husband love to gossip, a lot.

nothing happens without one telling the other; you always keep the other updated about everything.

so today as you slam the door open, you are barely able to contain yourself as you yell out, “satoru, you will not guess what just happened!”

in an instance, he gets all the snacks and sits in front of you on the couch, face eager as ever.

he is wearing that bunny headband you got him for the self-care nights and you smile: you have both a best friend and a husband in the same person.

he leans forward, eyes wide, “is it about stacy?”

“how did you know?” you gasp before taking a bite from one of the many snacks laid on the table.

he shrugs, “lucky guess, plus! I’ve been curious ever since you told me about what she did! it’s hard to believe that she is dating 4 guys at the same time and they don’t even know that the other exists.”

“right? I’ve heard about two-timing but never four-timing, and speaking of them not knowing about each other,” you smirk and his eyes light up in excitement, “they found out today!”

satoru cackles before pulling you in to cuddle you, “I bet a story like that will take the entire night to tell.”

you look up at him, “and you don’t mind?”

he kisses your cheek leaving an obnoxiously loud sound, “of course not! I get to listen to some juicy and hot tea and I get to hear your gorgeous voice for a really long time! so practically heaven for me, sweets,” he grins.

a giggle escapes your lips, “gossip is heaven for you, my dear husband?”

“gossip with you is heaven for me, my dear wife,” he murmurs as he peppers your face with kisses before abruptly pulling back, “now tell me! I am dying to know!”

you laugh, “okay, so one of them…”

and so you tell the story of stacy, the four-timer.

satoru is hung up on your every word and you’ve yet to figure out whether it’s because two of the boyfriends end up fighting each other or because of something else.

to satoru, it’s clear, your voice and the way you’re so excited while telling him about how the third boyfriend ended up being the son of the ceo makes him smile contently as he hugs you closer.

he doesn’t know what else to do, but he has a feeling that he should thank stacy for providing the both of you with a very interesting story like that.

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do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

[water-to-drink]

I’m Not That Innocent

(Pairing): Neuvilette x gn!reader

(Synopsis): Neuvilette feels immense guilt for having dirty thoughts about you thinking you as an innocent being, but you’re quick to prove him wrong

(Tags/Warnings): NSFW +18 MDNI, male masturbation, (y/n) used, “Monsieur” used a lot, not edited, bad smut, possible ooc Neuvilette, (if I miss anything lmk)

(Word Count): 1k

(A/n): Wrote this in one sitting when the embarrassment wasn’t there so…

Neuvilette is a man of many things, he’s the Iudex of Fontaine, he’s the hydro sovereign, and he’s a pervert

Of course he is, having dirty thoughts about a person as innocent as you. The person who smiles so brightly when he offers to go have lunch with you, the same person who thanks him profusely whenever he would buy you those limited cakes.

Anyone would be a degenerate to have such thoughts about a pure person like you, but here he is in his office at the dead of night furiously storking his cock

His mind plagued with images of you in the most lewd positions possible. You underneath the dragon as he pumps you full of his cum, and the one he’s imagining right now is you on your knees between his legs sucking on his dick. Oh how he wishes it was you sucking him off instead of him using his callous hand

In the throws of pleasure Neuvilette couldn’t keep his voice down, why would he? Everyone who is normally in the building is long gone by now so

“Ahh! Fuck, (Y/n). That’s it, keep going” Neuvilette moans out

To his horror he hears the door creak loudly

Whipping his head towards the direction of the noise. There you stood in the doorway, mouth wide open in shock

“W-wait! It’s not what it looks like!” Neuvilette tried to salvage whatever little respect you had for him

“Monsieur Neuvilette.” You said as you slowly walked towards the Iudex who still has his hard cock in his hand. “You imagined that it was me doing things to you?”

“Y-yes.” Neuvilette said as shame fills his entire being

Trying to hide his shame he covers himself but to his surprise you stop him. You kneeled in between his legs and took his member in your hands

“Were you imagining me stroking you like this?”

“Ahh! Yes!.” A shutter wrecks through the hydro dragon

You stroke the stiff cock with an expertise that shocks the Iudex, moving your hand up and down his staff and carefully pinching the tip. With hearts in your eyes you watched as the usually composed judge come undone in your hands. It didn’t take long for him to release in your hand

Bringing your hand up to your mouth, you lick the cum clean off. All the while you kept eye contact with the man in front of you

“Please watch me, Monsieur.” You said as you pulled out a bottle of lube from your bag

Pulling your pants and underwear down and throwing them to the side you squeezed a good portion of lube on your fingers. Slowly you teased at your entrance and once you got a finger in you began to thrust your finger in and out

Gradually you added another finger

“Nngghhh! See me, Monsieur? This all for you! J-Ahhh! Just keep watching!” You moaned out as your fingers furiously pumped in and out of you with such fervor that the Iudex thought he he might be dreaming all of this. “Fuck, I’m close! I’m g-gonna cum, Monsieur!”

Your fingers kept moving until you reached your climax. Neuvilette watched as your cum dirtied his desk and the papers that he was supposed to be working on and as your legs twitching violently

“Are you going to stand there?” Your voice snaps him out of his trance. “C’mon, fuck me like you were imagining before I walked in.” You said as you spread your opening for white haired man

Without hesitation Neuvilette stands up from his chair and lined himself up to your entrance, he slowly pushed against your plush warm walls. He wiped away a few stray tears from your eyes when he was full sheathed in your walls

“You can move, Monsieur.” You whimpered. as he found purchase on your soft thighs he slowly began thrusting. “Go faster! I can take it!” You gasped out

“You little minx. I’ll go faster.”

Almost taking his member out he thrusted causing you to moan loudly. Fucking into you he moved his grip from your thighs to your plush ass and squeezed, not caring if he left little crescent dents in the fat of your ass

You wrapped your arms around Neuvilette’s shoulders as his hips snapped into yours. Your hands found their way to his long locks and tucked on them harshly. You brought his face towards your own and kissed him

Tongues fighting for dominance but the hydro sovereign wins. You separated for air and the moment you do Neuvilette tugs at your shirt, signaling for you to take it off

Quickly you discard the layers hiding your chest from him, once your perky nipples were out the Iudex latches his mouth onto them. Nipping and sucking on the nipple, but not forgetting to give the other attention he reaches and pinches the other nipple

Neuvilette felt your walls tighten around him, he picks up his thrust into a merciless pace. Your moans fills his office and possibly the hall outside as you get closer to your climax

“Monsieur, I’m gonna cum!” You cried out

“Go ahead, cum with me!” He instructed

The frantic thrusts become sloppy and soon you both reached your peak

The next day Neuvilette goes on his day wondering if what happened last night was just a figment of his imagination or real, nonetheless he continues on with his work until a knock on the door alerts him

It’s you as cheerful as ever, you happily walked towards him like nothing happened between the two of you. Maybe it was all in his head, the Iudex thought

“Monsieur Neuvilette!”

“Good morning, (y/n).” He greeted trying to ignore the blush creeping up his face

“Is something wrong?”

“No, just having a bit of a hot flash.” Neuvilette reached for a glass of water to drink in an attempt to cool himself down

“You weren’t thinking about last night?” You asked and the Iudex nearly choked on his drink. “You were~” You giggled “Don’t worry, I’ve been thinking of it too.” You lean in towards the hydro sovereign and pulled down your shirt to reveal a lacy bralette underneath. “We can do it again tonight~”

Dear Archons you’re going to be the death of him

[lemonlover1110]

Double Trouble

Dad Series

Toji Fushiguro

Warnings: Pure Fluff

Discord 18+ - Twitter - Ko-Fi

“I want a baby sister!” Koemi randomly spurts out one faithful morning. It makes Toji choke on his breakfast, hitting his chest a couple of times to cough up the bit of food that’s in his throat. There’s no way that Toji will agree to that, especially after he got them into a preschool and he has his life back.

Toji has never glared at Koemi before, but for the first time in his life he does. You agreed you don’t want more kids because twins are more than enough. Toji looks at you, and you’re taken back just as he is. You shake your head, and Toji says, “Never in a million years.”

“It’s not fair! Kisho has Megumi and I have no one.” Koemi yells, and Toji decides that he won’t start his day by arguing with someone that still has their baby teeth.

“You have your brothers, honey. You don’t need a baby sister.” You assure her, but that isn’t enough to convince her tiny brain. She’s stubborn, just like her father.

Koemi is smart, she knows how to convince you. She sneaks and takes the photo album that you have for the twins, leaving it on the coffee table. She runs to you when you notice it and pick it up, looking innocently as she asks, “What’s that, mommy?”

“Oh, nothing, baby. Just photos from when you and your brother were babies– When you couldn’t properly talk since you two are still babies in my eyes.” You tell her, and you decide to take a seat on the couch and look through the album, making Koemi join you.

You look at pictures of the twins from the first ultrasound to their first steps. Newborn babies aren’t all that cute but you had the cutest babies. They cried a lot, but you always managed to take pictures because they were too adorable. The biggest smile comes to your lips seeing a picture of Megumi with the twins, he holds Kisho while Koemi is on the couch, trying to reach her twin brother. Then a picture of Megumi who manages to hold both of the twins on the couch, who look to be around five months old.

You keep going back to this one picture that’s three pages in, it’s what gets you. Toji smiling at his newborn babies. Toji has many more pictures in the book, but that has to be the best one because you had never seen Toji so happy before. Sure, he was over the moon when he married you, but this was a level of happiness that only his kids could achieve.

“What are you–” Toji approaches you, and his eyes fall on the photo album. For the second time, he glares at Koemi. Given the tears that are welled up in your eyes, she’s convinced you. She’s a sly one. She’s his daughter after all. He has to think of some way to get her to back down. What’s something that’ll make her stop wanting a sibling? And then it dawns on him.

“Koemi, since you want a baby sister so bad, you’re going to learn how to share your toys. Mommy and I will call the stork if you’re willing to share all your toys.” He says, knowing that Koemi hates sharing. Toji makes sure to get two toys each for the twins since it’s a never ending fight with them, because of her. That’s something he doesn’t bother correcting because Toji also hates sharing. “Even with Kisho.”

She furrows her brows and ponders on it. She shakes her head, and Toji takes it as her backing down. She’s not willing to share her toys. “I don’t want a sister anymore.”

She ends up standing up and walking away, but that doesn’t fix the mess that she caused. Toji doesn’t have to think much about convincing you though, he only has to mention, “Morning sickness.”

“She’s right, she doesn’t need a sister.”

[inbabylontheywept]

Realizing in hindsight that the only reason I was so skeptical about your camp story is that being covered in a combination of crusty, sticky pink residue and rotten fish oil for days on end while sleeping on a wooden floor in the Arizona heat sounded like such unbearable sensory agony that I wanted to convince myself it was fake, because I didn't want to believe that anybody had genuinely been through that. I'd have walked out of that place with a rucksack of pink ooze and either find my way back to civilization or become crispy pink buzzard chow after day 2.

Like, legitimately, I think about my reaction to that post a lot. The imagery was so deeply unpleasant that I was desperately scrambling to convince myself it wasn't true like I'd just found out my spouse was a serial killer. There was no torture, no death, no hunger or disease, just a bunch of sweaty guys being covered in sticky fruit-flavored slime, subjected to unpleasant smells, and sleeping blanketless on the floor. And you can't even smell! You were spared a good third of it! Yet your experience still horrified me worse than any war story, medieval torture device or horror movie for reasons I cannot hope to fathom.

idk, I've had this ask stewing in my head for months, but I keep forgetting to actually write and send it. In my heart of hearts, I knew your story was perfectly plausible. I was just grasping at straws, praying for you to admit that no, nobody has ever showered in off-brand Gatorade and then not slept for 3 days while being expected to attend uni lectures. It's all untrue, a ruse, a trick, and such things could never happen outside of the cruelest depths of hell. Santa Claus is real, teachers live in the school, babies are delivered by storks, and the pink sauce incident never happened.

My mom pulls me into a warm hug after I scrape my knee. The plastic egg I found under the couch opens to reveal a piece of chocolate. A dollar magically appears under the pillow where I'd put my tooth. All is well. I am safe. The universe is kind, and whoever's running it loves me.

It's a sunny August day and I'm holding a popsicle on the swingset. I'm using my plastic dinosaurs to act out an improvised battle between good guys and bad guys as I sit on the carpeted floor. I'm playing Fossil Fighters on my dinged-up Nintendo DS in the plush brown armchair by the window.

I add the carrot nose to my snowman. Candy plops into my Halloween bag. The speaker on the classroom wall announces that school's out for summer, and we all bound out the door with wild glee, free at last.

Panting, wheezing, I drag my battered form back into the cobbled-together wreckage of my innocence, only one arm remaining with which to drag myself, blood and intestines trailing behind me as the storm rages overhead, washing my entrails downstream. I huddle underneath what remains of my once-pristine shelter from the cold and wet, pulling the shards back together as best I can as the wind howls angrily, hatefully. It's no use. It's broken. It's gone. It cannot be repaired. My innocence will never return to me. The rain seeps through the cracks and lands upon my face.

The rain is pink, I realize, and I cry.

First off: I haven’t actually been on the receiving end of this before and I have to say, it's an almost literally gripping experience. I felt this rat for the last three paragraphs.

Incredibly well done. Second: If you just didnt' want to believe, that's fine, I barely have room in me for medium fries - a grudge would just pour out the top, too much tea for my cup. But you don't have to like, gaslight yourself into thinking the story is totally normal and believable (I always stretch my stories out a little) or beat yourself up over it for months. I meant it when I said we're good, you and I. It still makes me happy to see a comment or a like or, rarely, a question like this from you.

If it's just something that pops into your mind every now and again, I dunno, don't sweat it. I'd hate to give you a complex. Did I mention that I loved that writing for this? Incredible experience.

[a-hazbin-reader]

Hello, happy day, first of all. Secondly, I would like to see how Alastor would give the talk to his children (the talk about how babies are made) or what would happen if his children asked him how babies are made.

😳

Alastor X Reader Headcanons

✅️Romantic

❌️Platonic

✅️Parental

TW: Shenanigans!!

Description: ☝️⬆️

His kids don't really even think about where they came from, they just know that they come from their mother and father

They don't really think about how they came to be until...their mom is suddenly pregnant again

Alastor sits down the kids, holding the youngest little girl in his lap while you hold the twins at your sides

They can't help but notice the happy look you're sharing with your husband, knowing that you two are about to announce something good

Alastor adjusts the toddler in his lap and gives his twins a sharp grin, obviously unable to contain himself

"Now, my little ones~ Do you remember how you've been asking for another sibling?"

You can't help but laugh as the twins look at each in confusion then look up at their father, the little girl shaking her head

"No-"

"Well, your mother and I have good news! Due to sheer luck and absolute carelessness, your mother has managed to spawn another baby!"

You can't help but gawk at your husband, he's trying to put all the blame on you for getting pregnant!?

You don't even get a chance to speak before your husband is kissing you, chuckling at the pout on your face

"That's not entirely true, but yes, we're having another baby."

Your twins lean on you and rub their cheeks against you, their little tails wagging in excitement

The youngest girl is still too young to understand, but she copies her siblings anyways, bleating and wiggling her tail to the best of her ability

It's a sweet moment that you wish you could take a photo of but you're too busy hugging your babies and snuggling up to your husband

It's not until later that night that it becomes a problem as Alastor is putting the twins to bed and you stand in the doorway to watch

He tucks them in and kisses their foreheads before wishing them goodnight, just about to turn out the light when it happens

"Papa, where do babies come from?"

The look on Alastor's face is enough to make you laugh, hiding it behind your hand as your husband freezes in place before regaining his composure

"Why! From mommies and daddies of course! Just like your mother and I!"

The little boy sits up fully, his sister soon following after as they give him an annoyed look

"Yeah but HOW did you make us?"

The rational part of Alastor's brain tells him that he should just tell them the truth and be done with it

But when he looks at his twin's innocent faces staring up at him expectantly...he absolutely fumbles it

Alastor lies lies and LIES through his teeth, every baby myth known to man comes to his mind as he weaves some crazy tale of how babies come to be

The stork, cabbage patches, water sprites and berry bushes-ANYTHING BUT THE TRUTH

You have to leave because you can't stop laughing at your husband, barely calming down before erupting into laughter again when Alastor climbs into bed with you

"Don't laugh..! What was I supposed to say?!"

He lets out a pathetic bleat and hugs you to him tightly, rubbing your stomach in an attempt to soothe himself

"Oh I don't know...maybe just a PG version of the truth?"

You look back at your husband to see the shocked look on his face, pulling away to see if you're being serious

"Are you telling me you could look them in the eyes and tell them what we do in bed?"

You start to get up, laughing at him

"I can go do it right now if you want-"

His arms suddenly reach out and grab you, careful of your stomach even though you're not showing yet

"NO!"

He's dragging you back into bed and rolling on top of you to keep you from getting up, fixing you the most pitiful puppy eyes you've seen yet

"Please don't...let them stay innocent..."

You can't help but roll your eyes and pet his head, leaning in to kiss his forehead before laying back

"Oh, you sappy man of mine...~ I won't...~"

You keep your promise and don't tell your twins the truth, but it's all for nothing because Angel is the one who tells them

To be fair, he didn't realize it was such a big deal at the time, he just wanted to correct some misinformation

Angel was eating with the twins, holding the littlest girl in his lap while he half listened to the older two ramble on about the new baby

"So you squirts excited for another baby in the house?"

The little boy hums in thought as he munches on his snack, ears flopping as he bounces in his seat

"Yeah but I wanna know when we'll see the stork deliver them!"

"I thought the baby was gonna come out of a cabbage?"

"What about the berry bush?"

This is where Angel might've messed up...

"What!? Don't tell me your parents fed you some lame story about where babies come from! Listen, you two most certainly didn't come from no bird and this little cutie right here?"

Angel holds up the baby girl, the toddler happily kicking her feet in the air

"Didn't come from a cabbage or nothin'! You all came from your mom because your parents had sex!"

"...what is sex?"

Now Angel sees where he fucked up, sucking in a breath before looking around the room nervously

"Okay, I'll tell you, but you guys better not tell your father I told you this!"

Angel leans in and starts whispering, the twins hanging onto his every word and forgetting their snacks

Alastor is hugging you as you sit in his lap, taking the moment alone to kiss and snuggle you, gently caressing your slight baby bump

When suddenly your little girl comes running in and points at Alastor accusingly, her brother rushing in not long after

"Papa, you lied!! You had SEX!"

You have to cling to your husband suddenly as he jumps up, looking shocked and gasping dramatically

"I did NOT! Who taught you such a word?"

The little boy giggles and runs out of the room, his sister chasing after him as they chant Angel's name

"Angel did~!"

"You little brats! You promised not to tell!"

It's all you can do not to laugh, burying your face in Alastor's shoulder as he sputters out nonsense about his children and their innocence

"Oh honey~ It's not that bad, they were bound to find out anyways..! And Angel isn't the worst person to tell them..."

You gotta act fast if you want Angel to have a chance at surviving this-

"My innocent babies..."

"It's okay, darling, you still have two other babies you can lie to about how we made them~"

He visibly perks up at that, sitting back down and resting his chin on you as his tail wags

"You're right, it's not too late to lie to them..!"

This one was so much fun!!

[lecsainz]

can you do charles and the reader being parents and their daughter/son wanting a little brother/sister??

big dream

pairings: charles leclerc x fem!reader

warnings: charles and Y/N being parents of twin girls, the girls wanting a little brother, family lunch and everything being chaotic.

authors note: I JUST LOVED THIS REQUEST! charles with kids is too delicate for me 😭

word count: 1K

It was a bright and sunny day in Monaco, and the Leclerc household was bustling with activity. Rylee and Amelie were playing together in the living room while Y/N was working on her laptop and Charles was on a call with his team. Suddenly, Rylee jumped up with excitement.

"Amelie, Amelie, guess what I dreamt last night!" Rylee exclaimed, tugging at her sister's sleeve.

"What did you dream?" Amelie asked, looking up at her sister curiously.

"I dreamt that we had a baby brother." Rylee said, her eyes shining with excitement.

"A baby brother?" Amelie repeated, her eyes widening. "That would be so cool!”

"Yeah, and he was so cute and little, just like us when we were babies." Rylee continued. "And he was always laughing and playing with us."

"Wow, I wish we really had a little brother like that." Amelie said, a big smile on her face.

"I know, right? Maybe we can ask mommy and daddy to have another baby." Rylee said, her eyes shining with hope.

Just then, Y/N walked into the room to get the girls ready for the family lunch. "Alright girls, let's get dressed and head over to *grand-mère's house." she said. *grandma

"Mommy, can we ask you something?" Rylee said, looking up at her with a hopeful expression.

"Sure, what is it?" Y/N asked.

"We had a dream that we had a little brother, and we really want one." Rylee said, her eyes pleading.

Y/N smiled at her daughters. "Well, having a baby is a big decision, and it's not something we can just do because we want to." she explained. "But who knows, maybe one day you'll have a little brother or sister."

Rylee and Amelie looked at each other with excitement in their eyes, imagining what it would be like to have a new addition to the family.

Charles and Y/N were getting ready to head to Pascale's house for a family lunch, and were trying to strap the girls into their car seats.

"Mommy, why do we have to wear these seatbelts?" Amelie asked, her eyes wide with curiosity.

"Because it keeps you safe in case we have an accident." Y/N replied, giving her a reassuring smile.

"Like in a race car?" Rylee asked, bouncing up and down in her seat.

"Kind of like that, yes." Charles said, chuckling at his daughter's enthusiasm.

As they drove through the streets of Monaco, the girls kept up a constant chatter, pointing out all the sights and asking questions about everything they saw.

Rylee whispered to her sister Amelie, "I hope we get a baby brother soon."

Amelie's eyes lit up. "Me too! I want a baby brother to play with."

Charles and Y/N were driving the car, listening to their conversation in the rearview mirror.

"Girls, we can't just order a baby brother like we order food." Y/N chuckled.

"But mommy, can't you ask the stork to bring us one?" Rylee asked innocently.

"Maybe we should ask Toto Wolff to bring us a baby brother. He knows everything about racing, maybe he knows how to get us a baby boy too!" Amelie exclaimed and the girls giggled at the idea of Toto Wolff bringing them a baby brother.

Charles and Y/N looked at each other, trying to hold back their laughter as they heard Amelie's suggestion. "I don't think Toto Wolff can help us with that." Charles said, still trying to contain her amusement.

Rylee chimed in, "But if he's a racing expert, he might know how to make a fast baby!" Charles and Y/N couldn't help but burst out laughing at that.

As they arrived at Pascale's house, the girls couldn't wait to tell their family about their plan to get a baby brother.

Rylee and Amelie ran to greet everyone with hugs and kisses before running off to the backyard to play.

"Girls, be careful not to get your dresses dirty." Y/N called out after them.

Lorenzo chuckled. "They're like little tornadoes, aren't they?"

"They sure are." Charles agreed, smiling.

As the adults settled in for some drinks and appetizers, the girls were busy playing with Pascale's dogs and running around the garden.

Suddenly, Rylee stopped in her tracks and turned to her sister. "Amelie, let's go find mommy and daddy a baby!"

Amelie's eyes lit up. "Yes! Let's go!"

The girls ran back to the patio, where Y/N and Charles were chatting with Arthur and Carla.

"Mummy, daddy, we're going to find you a baby!" Rylee exclaimed.

Y/N raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? And where are you going to find this baby?"

Amelie looked around thoughtfully. "Maybe we can dig for one in the garden?"

Everyone burst out laughing at the girls' innocent suggestion.

"I don't think we'll find a baby buried in the garden, sweetheart." Charles said, ruffling Amelie's hair.

Rylee suddenly looked up at Charles and Y/N "So where do babies come from?" She asked innocently.

Y/N choked on her water and looked at Charles, who was trying his best not to laugh. "Uh, well..." Y/N started, unsure of how to explain.

"They come from a special place in mommy's tummy." Charles jumped in, hoping to diffuse the situation.

Amelie's eyes widened in amazement. "How do they get there?"

Charles looked at Y/N for help, but she was no use, still coughing on her water. "Uh, well... daddy puts them there." he said, trying to keep a straight face.

Rylee and Amelie exchanged looks, not quite sure what to make of that answer. "Can we have a baby brother?" Amelie asked again, a sudden determination in her voice.

Charles and Y/N looked at each other, not surprised by the question at all, as the girls had been asking for a little brother all day. "Uh, well, that's not something we can just decide." Y/N said, trying to find the right words.

"But Rylee had a dream that we had a baby brother and he was really cute!" Amelie insisted, pushing her case.

Everyone at the table tried to hold back their laughter, but it was no use. Arthur, the youngest of the Leclerc brothers, couldn't help himself and burst out laughing.

"I think you girls are a bit too young to be worrying about babies and brothers." Pascale, Charles' mother, interjected, trying to keep the conversation on track.

"But we want a baby brother!" Rylee exclaimed, determined to make her point.

Charles and Y/N exchanged a look, silently agreeing that this was going to be a long lunch.

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 2 part 1

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2])

Hey tumblr queers and agathario enthusiasts (I see you guys in the comments! @crybabyheathen, sorry to cause you so much distress! @onceuponalegendbg: I KNOW, RIGHT?? @ragnarockz thank you for being a butch!Agatha truther ❤️❤️)

Let's start episode 2, Circle Sewn with Fate / Unlock Thy Hidden Gate. Which, yes, has no Rio. But it has Lilia! Se let's count our blessings!!

oh my god girl, calm down! she's gone! focus!

that's a beautiful composed shot, with billy's head next to the rabbit, already telling us that he's going to become a son to Agatha

lmao she's about to bolt

aaaand she stops dead in her tracks when Billy mentions the Road. Look at her reflection again! that's so deliberate and so intriguing. how would you guys interpret it?

the Ballad theme playing in the background again. Agatha takes a whole step back when she hears the words "the Witches' Road" and immediately says no. she might be despicable, but there's no way she's getting a kid involved. especially not this kid. because they are somehow connected, otherwise how would she know about the car crash? even without knowing that this is Billy, she already cares about him. and she doesn't lie to him, even the tarots will say so. she might just, you know, omit things or even tell the truth from a certain point of view (already working on her obi-wan ghost mentor tricks)

"The road is no place to a kid." and so he was christened

but I can't stop staring at that rabbit picture. were the set people told to find the brightest bunny they could find? they really want you to notice it

now he's hopping like a bunny too! yes his legs are still tied, but I'm telling you it's all deliberate!! (insert either the pepe silvia or the I've connected the dots meme here)

don't tell him THAT. now he's gonna internalize it and accidentally kill you all one by one. christ.

girl you just got thrown around the room like a rag doll. you put together that outfit in two minutes, didn't even take a shower. you have no make up on. are you wearing ralph's shoes. is that his hat. (her being so frazzled speaks of how shell-shocked she is, she would usually take time to perfect the way she looks, because her looks is her armor)

billy is bullshitting too, he just googled her last night. I mean, I'm 100% convinced he cares about Agatha, but he is faking at least some of that trust and innocence (and good for him because she's a menace)

great, she found the brooch and nicky's hair. who needs a heart anyway, here, tear it out of my chest why don't you

Lilia has such beautiful handwriting. what a multitalent

NO, agatha. BAD agatha. now she's decided she might as well throw a little Road together and kill two or three idiots while keeping the boy safe on the side, which HISTORICALLY HAS NOT WORKED WELL FOR HER. how can she be so smart and SO STUPID

this also goes in the Top 5 Funniest Things Agatha's Ever Done list. now picture again all the dramatic car scenes from episode 1

covens are drawn together by fate and are the truest form of sisterhood??? why is rewatching this show kind of like being repeatedly stabbed in the heart???!!!??

look billy, it's the house where you were born! it was incredibly weird. a stork was there. (oh god, I just realized Billy is 3 years old)

Agatha spits at Wanda's home because a) she hates wanda and b) she hates that people hate wanda. this is the equivalent of being a queer kid and seeing faggot written on a locker (do I need to censor words? do tiktok rules apply now? I haven't written tumblr posts in so long)

except that, as Lilia will tell you, agatha has done a lot to smear witches' reputations, so yeah. consequences of her own actions etc.

be cool, man. mama is having the worst hangover of her life.

oh yes, Billy's boyfriend, Boyf.

shut up agatha, you know you wanna protect that little twink with your whole life

I almost wish I had an extra hour so I could gif agatha throwing the pen out of the window.

don't steal other people's pearls you hooligan (but see? clothes and accessories are props to her)

(by the way you won't find any Billy hate here, because I adore parent-children, mentor-mentee and found family relationships. and I think he's a sweetheart)

agatha discreetly snatching the eviction notice from the door. always thinking ahead, always scheming. the con master at work

*angel choir*

✨✨LILIA CALDERU✨✨

this show gave me a tragic villainous middle aged lesbian, which is literally my catnip, and she's only like, my second favorite character. which tells you all you need to know about the powers of dame Patti LuPone (I know she's not technically a dame) (yet) (I don't care if she's american Chucks, get to it!)

that's all I have time for tonight, can't wait to get me some ✨✨✨✨ Lilia scenes ✨✨✨✨

go to episode 2 part 2

[vampirestookmydoubts]

Well I know he’s canceled and problematic but before I used to love watching the Cosby show. And that scene when little four year old Olivia is explaining where babies come from is hilarious and I would love to see it in a Bridgerton setting. Like when Eloise asks how children are made daughter!reader is there too and like is basically Olivia and informs them the same way she did and everyone’s just like...🤭😮. Please make it more Benedict centric. If you’re uncomfortable doing this request because of the whole Cosby thing I completely understand.

The stork seed

A/N: Thank you for the request! Tbh I never watched The Cosby Show, but I know of the controvery. I still wanted to do your request as I loved the idea of a 4-year-old explaining the world to Eloise lol. I watched the scene and read the transcription and I hope I was able to write it the way you wanted me to! I think I left it kind of open if y/n is the daughter of Violet or one of the siblings. Hope you like it!

Characters: bridgerton!reader, bridgerton!daughter, Benedict Bridgerton, Colin Bridgerton, Eloise Bridgerton, Violet Bridgerton, Daphne Bridgerton

Warnings: none

The living room of the Bridgerton estate was filled with the usual lively chatter and activity.

Benedict sat in his favorite armchair, sketching away, while you, the youngest one in the house at four years old, sat on the floor playing with one of the dolls Colin bought you on his latest travels.

Meanwhile, Eloise, the ever-curious Bridgerton, lounged on the sofa half-mindedly reading a book, her mind buzzing with questions.

Suddenly, Eloise looked up, her brow furrowed in thought.

"Benedict, can I ask you something?"

Benedict glanced up from his sketchbook, intrigued by Eloise's sudden serious tone. "Of course, sister. What's on your mind?"

"How does a woman come with child?" Eloise asked, her tone serious but tinged with nervous curiosity. The lively bustle of the remaining family in the room came to a sudden halt, their attention suddenly on her. “Eloise!”, Daphne exclaimed shocked, but her own curiosity was written in her face. Benedict's eyebrows shot up in surprise, caught off guard by the unexpected question. Before he could formulate a response, you, always eager to contribute you own unique perspective on life, chimed in from the floor.

"Everybody knows the stork brings them!" You declared proudly, eyes shining with conviction.

Benedict obviously struggled to contain his amusement, exchanging amused glances with Colin.

"Is that so, love?" he asked, barely managing to keep a straight face. "Yes, Mama told me!" you nodded vigorously, your expression earnest. “So, the stork puts the baby in the belly of the mother?”

Outraged by Colins question you shook your head. “No! The stork takes the baby from heaven and puts it in the bassinet.”

Eloise frowned at your response, still trying to make sense of it all. "But why do women get a big belly when it's the stork that brings the baby?"

You paused, considering the question for a moment before shrugging nonchalantly. "Mommy told me that mommies have a special seed in the belly!"

Eloise's eyes widened in surprise at the unexpected explanation. "A special... seed?"

"Yeah!" You nodded enthusiastically. "Like the ones mommy plants in her garden! But only daddies have the baby seed."

Benedict and Colin struggled visually to contain their laughter at the innocence of your explanation and the discussion that unfolded in front of them.

"But then why could I feel something move in mommy's belly when she was pregnant with you, Y/N?" Eloise asked further, turning to you with a curious expression. "If it's the stork that brings the baby."

You paused for a moment before shrugging nonchalantly. "Oh, that's just gas from eating the seeds!"

Benedict couldn't hold back his laughter any longer, erupting into a fit of giggles, that infected the rest of the present family. Even Eloise couldn't help but chuckle at your matter-of-fact explanation.

"You mean to tell me," Benedict said between laughs, "that all those times Mama said she was feeling you kick, it was just... gas?"

You nodded earnestly with a serious expression. "Yep! Just gas from the seed."

Eloise shook her head in disbelief, still trying to wrap her mind around the absurdity of the situation, while you returned to play with your dolls. "Well, I suppose that's one way to explain it.", she murmured, sitting down between Colin and Benedict, crossing her arms. “You two know more about this, don’t you?”

“Have you ever been to a farm?”, Colin started, earning a slap against the back of his head by his brother, as Violet Bridgerton entered the room.

"What has everyone so amused?" Violet asked, a soft smile playing on her lips as she watched you play with your toys.

Colin grinned mischievously, looking back at his mother. "Oh, we were just explaining to Eloise how babies are made, Mama. According to Y/N, it involves a stork, a special seed from the garden, and a bit of gas." Violet’s smile slipped into a face of shock and indignation, a faint pink creeping onto her cheeks. “Colin Bridgerton, stop encouraging your sister in such delicate subjects!” Benedict stifled a laugh, which earned him a strict gaze from his mother. “Don’t get me started on you, Benedict!” Raising his hand in defence, the second eldest returned to his sketchbook not being able to hide the smile on his lips.

In this moment he couldn't help but feel grateful for his quirky and lovable family. Life with the Bridgertons was certainly never dull, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

[yurinaa-world]

Hello! I've been loving the small snippets and headcanons so much, I just went on a small brain off - intake cuteness marathon while reading and saw that your requests were open (or at least they said they were open, if not you can completely ignore this! ´ω`)

Imagine the sweetness of calling Sunday your dove or swan.. Then think of the silly possibilities of calling him OTHER white birds. I would love to see how you would write his reaction to being called different names like "My Royal Spoolbill" "My lovely Red-Vented Cockatoo" "Beloved Masked Booby"

I just think it's a lil fun to tease Mr. Know-it-all with names that he might have to actually go and search up, some birdies being a nicer compliment compared to being called a chonky lil fella like the Willow Ptarmigan(〃ﾟ3ﾟ〃)

Thank you for your time whether you further this thought or not~!

𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓇𝒶𝒸𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓈: Sunday x Gender-neutral Reader

𝒮𝓎𝓃𝑜𝓅𝓈𝒾𝓈: Calling him bird names

𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈: Fluff, spelling mistakes

(𝒩𝑜𝓉𝑒𝓈: I found the request after posting it and I decided just to repost so it makes sense)

𝒮𝓊𝓃𝒹𝒶𝓎

Ugh, you're right the way he would call Dove or Swan. Like in such a sensual voice with you adding with the fact he only does when he whispers in your ear, almost sending shivers down your Spine. Ah, don’t tell him your mind is stuck thinking about something you shouldn’t be. He’s not at all innocent just because appearance, he knows what he’s doing.

Did I ever say that he also kisses your hands while calling you his “beloved swan.” (I’m sorry I’m shameless). He’s such a gentleman giving you cute and sweet nicknames “my beloved swan & my dearest dove.” while you on the other hand are just a menace.

“My lovely rock pigeon.” Anyone hearing that would be so confused and honestly, he is a little. How creative could you be with nicknames? Like calling him “my beautiful stork.” Or “royal tern.” 

The more and more you begin to find more and more white bird names to use for him the more he questions everything.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“My dearest stork.”

You say playfully while the back of your hand gently rubs against Sunday's little wings.  They are so soft and warm. “a stork? Am I just a bird with long legs to you?”

 A mischievous grin curls up the corners of your lips while a single eye twinkles at your beloved Sunday. 

“You have little wings and feathers right here so I don’t see a difference really.” you point out the little mini version of wings by the sides of his hair.

along with your words, Sunday grabs your hand and intertwines it with his. “some birds bite if you get too close to them, maybe I should bite you.”  He playfully threatens as he brings your hand closer to his mouth.

“don’t worry I don’t bite that hard.”

if you liked this, consider tipping me on ko-fi! it'd mean a lot!

[hellsslibrary]

✧･ﾟ:* NSFW Alphabet with Deuce Spade *:･ﾟ✧

DNI : minors.

#a.n. : ahem, I wanted to warn you that there will be something unreal in all these headcanons, just because this is the world of fairy tales, lol (I can give anyone an 8 foot cock and what will you do to me, like nothing).

!!Warnings : sub!bottom!Deuce, praise kink, kink for size difference, oral sex, soft sex, sub/dom dynamic, scar reference, romance, male reader.

Ace <————«« Deuce »»————> Cater

Heartslabyul. Deuce Spade.

A = Aftercare (What are they like after sex?)

He is the most tired boy in the world after sex. He lies all sweaty, fucked and tired, looking at you with his red eyes from tears. So this time, you have to take care of him forever. Finally praise him, tell him that he is a good boy, give him water, wash him and so on. He will appreciate it anyway.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He definitely likes yours hands (especially in the biceps area), and more if you have muscles there. It just turns him on that someone so strong (or just a little bit) is fucking him like this right now.

His favorite body part in itself is probably his mouth. What? He can suck you, kiss you, moan for you. Anything.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)

He finishes a little. Although his sperm looks quite thick. It is probably darker than normal semen, but nothing more unusual is imperceptible.

As for you, he doesn't care where you end up. Though he definitely prefers it to be his mouth or hole. Just because it looks and feels hot, literally and figuratively.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He always dreamed of a partner who is somehow right. Like imagine that he is dating someone correct, diligent and polite. Everyone adore him because he is so kind and caring. But he would like to see this man change beyond recognition behind closed doors, fucking him like his personal whore. (Although in a gentle way, he is still a softie. It simply implies that the reader is a pervert.)

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?)

He... Just the embodiment of innocence. He still thought that storks bring babies, they appear in cabbages, Santa brings them and all that ... So he has no experience in this matter at all.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying)

He loves the missionary position! It's definitely too easy, but he loves to see your face. Though he prefers that you don't see his own face, so he covers it up anyway.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He is absolutely serious! He won't be joking, because for him this is the moment when both of you can be vulnerable, naked and enjoy only each other. While he doesn't mind a little humor from you if you're up for it, he'll definitely blush at it.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Mmm, he definitely shaves/cuts them. I guess he has them prickly enough that it gets nasty and he decides to get rid of them there. They do not match the color of his drapes, they are definitely lighter, much lighter.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He is a very romantic boy! True, he is not a fan of these clichéd aspects, like roses, candles and any other nonsense that you can imagine. But he will still try to do something less clichéd before your sex time to make you feel loved. Well, during sex, he is also quite romantic. Although it's just kisses, hugs, some kind of compliments or words of approval, and all that.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He... He hardly does that. I think a cold shower will help him, because his erection goes quite easily and quickly. But he may rarely do this, for example, when you have not had sex for a long time and it is not expected in the near future. Well, or if you want to see how he does it.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

He definitely has a kink for the size difference. Even if you are the same height or shorter than him, it is very easy to call. How? Just the mere thought of his partner (no matter what height/size) hovering over him like that turns him on. He also probably has a kink to the whole dom/sub dynamics. Just because he wants to be a good boy for you. And of course a kink for praise, I think it goes without explanation.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

He's embarrassed enough to do it somewhere other than outside your rooms. And he just finds it too intimate for prying eyes and ears. So bed, sofa, table top, shower and so on.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Quite easily excitable, but this excitation also easily disappears. One careless spot on one of his private parts like chest, butt or groin, some too well-thought-out praise from you no matter what, and he feels like butterflies start fluttering in his stomach.

N = NO (Something they wouldn't do, turn offs)

He is definitely against something too rough and something that brings too much pain. He is a gentle boy, although he doesn't mind if you want to do something more rough every now and then, but he doesn't want it to cause you or him any great pain. And he is definitely against sex in front of someone's eyes and sex in semi-public places (although in semi-public places he may agree, but on the condition that you both know and are sure that no one will come there).

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He loves to give. He's a little clumsy about it, but he'll try to give you whatever pleasure you want, where and how you want.

He doesn't really like to receive since he's too sensitive to your mouth in any of his spots, but he loves it anyway.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Definitely prefers a sensual, gentle and slow pace. He loves it when you cover his face/neck/chest/etc with kisses as you gently thrust into him and his hands rest on your back and gently squeeze it when you hit a particularly sweet spot.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

No, he's not a fan of that. And especially not a fan of this if you are the kind of person who is not enough only one orgasm. He loves leisurely sex where both of you can enjoy each other without rushing anywhere. But if you are too desperate to fuck him, then he may agree.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Not very experimental, but he trusts you, so he will comply. If you want something that is not in his no, then he is willing to try it anyway.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

I guess Deuce is pretty tough. His maximum is about 5-9 rounds. Although, if you want to do a total overstimulation of him, then about 12.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He hardly has any toys. He doesn't want to buy them (and probably didn't know they existed before your relationship with him, lol). But if you give him something, he will accept it, not without embarrassment, of course, but he will accept it.

U = Unfair (How much do they like to tease)

He doesn't like to tease you. He wants you to enjoy his body and his activities as much as you want. Although he can tease you if that's what you want. But he would probably prefer you to tease him.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

It's not too loud, but not too quiet either. Something like 6/10, yes. He knows how to act without being too loud. But he can be more vocal if you enjoy his sounds.

W = Wild Card (Get a random head canon for the character of your choice)

He has many scars on his body from his "dark" past, which he wants to get rid of as soon as possible and the best. But he loves when you touch them one way or another. Stroking/kissing/pressing lightly/etc. Not even in a sexual way, he can even tell you a couple of stories about their appearance if you want.

X = X-Ray (Let's see what's going on in those pants, picture or words)

Slim but muscular body. Strong headcanon for having a tiny waist, yes. Also, as I said earlier, he has a lot of scars. As for the cock... I think it's a strict 6 inches / 15 centimeters, and his shaft is quite small in girth.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Below the average. He does not need to have sex too often, his body simply does not require it. Although he is ready at almost any moment if you want it.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fell asleep afterwards)

He gets very tired after sex, so he falls asleep almost instantly. Especially if you hug him and snuggle up to him.

[cakerybakery]

This was supposed to be a quick thing. But it's spiralling and I want to see where it goes so I'll just post to the original ending because the farther it goes the more it's obvious I need to expand on the idea.

-

“Okay, I’m just really having trouble wrapping my head around this. Dad, tell me again. What happened?” Charlie paced back and forth in front of the parlour couch. Glancing nervously at the grown men on the couch.

Lucifer kept shooting Adam looks like this was somehow his fault.

There might be a giant list consisting of every sin Adam ever committed, but this time he was innocent.

“I was out on the terrace having my morning coffee when he showed up.”

“Adam right? Not the bird?” She emphasized bird as though she doubted it was in fact a bird at all.

“Yeah. So I tell him, “good morning” trying to be polite. Not that he ever appreciates it. And he says, “Fuck off.” But I keep my tempter in check.”

Adam snorted from his half lying down position on his part of the couch, “you almost fucking decked me.” Pushing Lucifer’s buttons had become Adam’s favourite game since figuring out Charlie accidentally had her dad on a short leash. Any sign that she would be upset with him meant he folded like a house of cards in a hurricane.

“ALMOST being the important part there. HA HA!” Lucifer’s fake laugh to try and steam roll past what Adam said always held a special place in Adam’s heart. It let him know he was successfully getting away with being an ass.

“And that’s when the, uhh bird, showed up?”

“Yes. The giant, terrifying, bird showed up then. Handed over a clipboard in its beak. Made us both sign and left, that, behind.”

Adam just plain didn’t like the tone Lucifer used. “She isn’t a that. She’s a baby.”

“Now, that’s the part I’m having trouble with. I thought that was a myth. Or a story parents tell their children to explain where babies come from. Storks bringing babies. Insane. And I would one hundred percent think you two were lying except I can’t figure out why you would or where you got a freaking baby from. Especially one that is clearly half dad’s!” She was hyperventilating a little and Lucifer went to stroke her back to try and help her calm down.

“I hope you’re got my chill side instead of your dad’s- your other dad’s… excitability.” Adam stage whispered to the little cutie lying on his chest.

-

Adam is pretty happy, he loves babies! It's in his DNA. But he should have read the paperwork before he signed it, cause now he's acting odd. Lucifer is not happy, he tried to read the paperwork but the stork kept hitting him with the clipboard, he'll realize once he reads it why Adam's behaviour is about to be much more erratic instead of annoying. Charlie is just confused by the whole thing.

[lilacella]

sorry if you’ve been asked before but: mwpp + lily as birds?

I haven't! Thank you so much!🥰 Always love a chance to yell about birds.

This will be long again 😬

Sirius:

Horrible choice to make. Wanted to make him a bird of prey, because that's kind of what he should be, but I couldn't find a suitable one. So I went with one of my favorites instead. The Raven. Raven are very intelligent birds and also fucking terrifying. Like, if you have seen a crow attacking, a raven is so so much worse. You DO NOT want to mess with a raven. They remember your face. And they are larger than crows. They are also cool and somewhat 'effortlessly elegant' ☺️

James:

Golden Eagle. Majestic mfer and I think all eagles look like they have some sort of ego problem, so that checks out😊

Remus:

The common Greenshank. It is common. It is suitably beige. Legs are too long. Lives in the marshes. Very lovable and cute. Immaculate vibes, if you ask me.

Peter:

The Dartford Warbler. It is tiny and looks cute and innocent on first glance, but THE EYES... That's a bird that would betray his best friend to the dark lord if I've ever seen one.

Lily:

She was actually quite hard because I wanna do her justice! I finally settled on a White Stork. Storks mate for life which I think would suit Lilys commital character. But they are also extremely impressive and cool birds that have a certain elegance to them🥰

Ask me asks to keep me awake

[cherryxcadbury]

hey! just saw your post. could you write a mbappe imagine where they have a child and him and the child try to convince the reader for another sibling. super fluff!! 💋💋

LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS!

2nd person pov

"Nicolas! Amour! Where are you two?" You called, waltzing into the sitting room where your son & husband sat.

The two were snuggled into the couch, whispering loudly into each other's ears in French. You tried hard to understand what they were saying, but your lack of knowledge on French did not help you in the slightest. The two perked up when they saw you enter.

"Cherie! Come sit!" Kylian smiled, patting the sofa, gesturing to sit between him and Nicolas.

You smiled, doing as suggested, laying back into the couch. Nicolas immediately climbed on your lap, while Kylian moved closer to you and placed your legs on his lap.

You eyed your two boys suspiciously. 

"What's going on?" 

"What do you mean mummy?" Nicolas looked up at you with deep eyes, full of emotion.

You chuckled, "Nothing. Mummy didn't mean anything." You kissed his cheek.

"I meant, what's up with you?" You shot Kylian a pointed look, who smiled sheepishly.

"Well, me and Nicolas were talking about what he wants for his birthday." Kylian began. 

You quirked and eyebrow at the both of them this time.

"Your birthday was last month love." You told your son.

"Yes but next year. When I turn four." He responded.

"Well," You said, turning your head to face him, "What is it that you want."

"A little brother or sister." He grinned, with so much hope in his eyes.

You smiled back at him but shot Kylian a dirty look, who just smirked in reply. He gently grabbed your face, and kissed you. It was a clear attempt to convince you to try for another child.

You swatted him away and turned back to Nicolas. 

"You know my love. Having a child isn't that easy." You reminded your son.

"Why don't you just go to the store and buy one?" Nicolas questioned innocently.

His eyes lit up suddenly, "Oh oh oh! Or ask Santa for Christmas next year, and a stork will come and drop one off!"

"Actually Nico, to have a child it needs more involvement in mummy and daddy's part s—" Kylian began.

You immediately shushed him. 

"Idiot! He's too young for this talk!" You scolded your husband.

"Mummy and Daddy will try very hard and talk to Santa about it. Okay?" You told Nicolas, who nodded enthusiastically. 

"Now come on, let's watch the film." You all directed your attention to the television.

Well at least you all thought you directed your attention. Not a moment later you felt a hand on your thigh. A thumb circling in the same spot over & over again. You turned to scowl at Kylian who just winked at you. 

You couldn't help but laugh.

***

Not more than thirty minutes later, Nicolas was asleep.

Kylian bent low to Nicolas's ear and whispered something in French to see if he was still awake. He was not. The two of your shared a knowing look. Words weren't needed ti communicate what you needed to communicate. 

You both got up, Nicolas in your arms, Kylian's arms around your waist. You had to walk only a few strides before you entered your son's room. Kylian gently laid him down and kissed his forehead. You sat on the edge of the bed and brushed his hair out of his eyes. You kissed Nicolas's cheek, and wished him a good night. Though he was fast, fast asleep. 

The two of you walked out of his room quietly, being extra careful when closing the door. A sigh of relief was let out when it was all done without waking him up. You were about to head to the washroom to shower and get ready for bed before you felt Kylians grip on your wrist. He twirled you around so you were close to the wall. His forehead against yours, lips merely centimeters away from each other. 

"So about that baby?" He smirked. 

You scoffed. 

"Aw come on cherie! It's not like we can't give him a sibling." Kylian protested.

You playfully rolled your eyes.

"Maybe I just don't want to do what's required to make the child." You shot him a wink.

Kylian cocked his head, "Amour. I'm Kylian Mbappe. Everyone's attracted to me!" 

You smacked your hand against your forehead.

"Contrary to popular belief Kylian. Not everyone finds ninja turtles attractive."

“Pleaseee Y/N! Think about how cute it would be to have a little you running around! Then our family would truly be complete!”

You gave him a quick peck on the lips, before strolling into your master bedroom, purposefully leaving the door wide open.

Kylian stood dumbfounded for a few minutes. He was very very confused. His ego also took a hit. You poked your head out from the door.

"Do you want to make that baby or not?" 

Thanks to Kylians speed, it didn't take one second for him to be in that room with the door slammed shut. 

*** Eleven months later

“Nicolas! Come see your birthday gift.” You warmly smiled at your son from the hospital bed.

Nicolas walked gingerly, hand in hand with his dad. Kylian greeted you with a kiss on the cheek, while Nicolas stood on his tip toes to see his new siblings. They were twins, one boy, and one girl.

Was that the plan? No, not really.

Nicolas’s eyes widened in delight while Kylian was almost reduced to tears. You propped Nicolas up on the hospital bed with you, while transferring both children into the arms of Kylian.

“They’re beautiful amour. We did a great job. I’m proud of you.” Kylian complimented, wishing he could take your hand if both weren’t occupied with holding his new kids.

“Mummy. I asked Santa for two brothers. Not a sister. The storks messed up.” Nicolas frowned.

You and Kylian laughed while he nudged Nicolas’s shoulder.

“Nicolas. Do you want to name them?” Kylian asked earnestly, receiving a nod from you in approval.

Secretly, you were a little hesitant. There was one certain name you had your heart set on for the girl, you doubted Nicolas would choose it. But his happiness mattered more to you than some picture perfect names.

“Hmmm, for the boy, Theo.” Nicolas started.

You nodded, you liked it.

“And for the girl. Lena!” Nicolas cheered, looking into your eyes with glee.

You grinned, that had been the name you wanted all along. But how did he know? Ah, of course. You turned your head to meet your husband’s gaze. Of course it was Kylian’s doing.

“I love you.” You mouthed to him.

“I love you more.” He winked back, causing your cheeks to grow red.

still, after all these years. That man’s affect on you would never change.