#inky.akutagawa
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inkykeiji Ā· 2 years ago
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Ehmm hello! I don't know if I can ask this but how do you see akutagawa in a romantic relationship? What kind of boyfriend would he be hehe. I'd just like to hear your thoughts and headcanons on him , I guess. Thanks in advance and sorry for my English, it's not my mother tongue
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hi hi!! youā€™re totally allowed to ask that! i donā€™t take requests, but i do welcome suggestions/prompts, and while i donā€™t answer all of them, any of the ones that make my brain n heart go !!!!!!!!!! get stashed and stored safely in my drafts hehe c:Ā 
AH okay i am in love with this question!!! i have many, many thoughts on this topic hehe <33
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warnings: toxic traits/relationship, mention of rough sex and kinks at the end (marking, dom/sub dynamic, dacryphilia, degradation + dumbification, etc).
words: 1.9k of me literally rambling about aku
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akutagawa in a relationship is very interesting because i think thereā€™d be multiple layers to the whole thing; it would be quite complex! i also donā€™t think a 100% healthy relationship is possible with him, for reasons iā€™ll get into below!Ā 
and of course, keep in mind, these are just my personal opinions and interpretations of him!
š¢š§ šš š«šØš¦ššš§š­š¢šœ š«šžš„ššš­š¢šØš§š¬š”š¢š© š¢š§ š šžš§šžš«ššš„:Ā 
- at the beginning, he is awkward, clumsy, and standoffish. these are all very new, very intense feelings for him, and while he likes themā€”likes the way warmth seethes pleasantly in his chest whenever you smile at him or call him baby, likes the way his ribs expand with bubbles of sunshine whenever you gaze at him with such pure, potent adorationā€”they do still frighten/unnerve him to an extent, and he does not know how to properly express + process these emotions of lust and love and compassion. as such, he truly doesnā€™t know how to act in a romantic relationship, and will most likely end up unintentionally stepping on your toes or hurting you with his actions and his words, purely out of ignorance. heā€™d feel horribly guilty for these mess-ups, and would learn from them extraordinarily quickly (could also see him researching relationship things on like, google or something lmao).Ā 
*a side note here: i believe when akutagawa feels, he feels very intensely; he is apathetic towards a lot of things, but when his emotions sprout, they fucking surge, they take over his body and invade his mind, they are extremely powerful and he cannot ignore them, though he can sometimes reign them in enough to get shit done and momentarily dull them to a constant tugging at the back of his mind
- the possibility of him unintentionally hurting you with his words is particularly large, considering he is incredibly blunt and says exactly what he thinks and means without any regard for the feelings of others. he is extremely honest, and he doesnā€™t ever sugarcoat his words. the fact that he is quite logical and technical in his thinking patternsĀ only adds to this and his emotional ineptness.
- he is selfish! he feels very possessive and protective over you, well past the point of normal or healthy. it almost bleeds into yandere territory; heā€™s greedy with you and will get jealous extremely easily, extremely quickly. he likes to know where you are at all times, whom you are with, and when youā€™ll be back, and you can expect constant texts from him while youā€™re out.Ā 
- on that note, once he finally comes to terms with his feelings for you and fully accepts them, he will be incredibly clingy in both the literal and metaphorical sense of the word.Ā 
- he doesnā€™t like your friends. in fact, he doesnā€™t like anyone who gets to spend time with you and takes you away from him for even a few moments. he is generally cold towards the friends he plainly dislikes and downright hostile towards the ones he hates, the ones who cause his envy to flare and sprout talons and claw at his ribs, the ones he disapproves of, as well as previous exes, if you have any. he genuinely does not see anything wrong with this behaviour and truly believes himself to be doing the ā€˜rightā€™ thing and whatā€™s best for you (and he knows whatā€™s best for you better than you do, duh).
- heā€™s touch-starved, and at the beginning any sort of skinship makes him flinchā€”not because he doesnā€™t like it (he very much does), but because itā€™s quite new and unfamiliar to him. he wouldnā€™t be incredibly interested in PDA, partially because heā€™s shy and partially because he thinks thatā€™s special and private and just for the two of you to experience, but you can expect his hands on you, or his body touching you, somewhere, someway, all the time when youā€™re out and about. this could manifest as a hand resting on your lower back, just above the swell of your ass; or an arm twined tightly around your waist, large palm resting on your hip, wrist curled around you; or his thigh slotted up against yours at any event; or his ankle linked with yours beneath the table at a dinner; or your pinkies intertwined; etc.. he just likes to be touching you in these small, soft, subtle ways; it makes him feel calm, it makes him feel grounded, and it makes him feel like heā€™s visually staking his claim on whatā€™s his for everyone in the immediate vicinity to see without drawing too much attention to himself.
- his starkly defined black-and-white philosophies are immovable and unbreakable, and he holds steadfast to his world views. to me, this steadfast devotion would bleed into other important areas of his life, such as a romantic relationship, which means that he would be incredibly loyal and faithful to you. heā€™s with you for life, through thick and thin, no matter how angry you make him or how many fights you have, he will not let go of you, and he will always, always defend you against others (aka heā€™s the only one allowed to criticize you lmao). he may be the mafiaā€™s dog, but heā€™s your fucking dragon (ew cheesy as heck i know!!! but itā€™s true!!!).
- he definitely gets in Moods. sometimes youā€™ll be able to offset these Moods or dispel them (ie. the way gin did with tea n figs), but there will be times where you just have to accept that heā€™s in a Mood and leave him be.Ā 
- on that note, he genuinely does value his space and his alone time. this is of utmost importance to him and he needs you to understand that, as well as understand that itā€™s nothing personal. he is an introvert in all respects and doesnā€™t really enjoy being in big crowds or conversations, or loud and hyper spaces. this is just another inherent trait to who he is; he needs his own space to recharge, even from just you.Ā 
- his moral compass exists in some vague form, but it is extremely weak. he will take disproportionate revenge on anyone he believes has wronged you.Ā 
- he most definitely holds heavy respect for you and holds you in high esteem, but i donā€™t think heā€™d think of you as his equal, necessarily. heā€™d probably consider you to be ever-so-slightly below him; someone who is strong, but needs his guidance and control. someone who would do satisfactorily on their own, but does even better with him. it is because of this that he doesnā€™t feel inferior to you, irregardless of the fact that he feels inferior to those above him (and, deep inside, himself).Ā 
- heā€™d hate you trying to take care of him when heā€™s sick or when heā€™s experiencing a particularly acute flare-up of symptoms, because it makes him feel weak. as far as heā€™s concerned, it should be him taking care of you, always.
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- he has a hair-trigger temper, and you will have to learn how to expertly avoid not tripping it up at any given moment, not accidentally snapping that thin thread. this will take some practice and trial and error, but the thing about akutagawa is that while he is quick to anger and give into the sharp flashes of fury in his chest, he is also fairly easy to calm, as long as the offense wasnā€™t a serious one. this may just be me thinking wishfully HEHE but i do think that his temper would be subdued by and dulled down in your presence because he truly doesnā€™t want to get angry at you, hates hurting you over inconsequential things, but has severe difficulty controlling his wrath. this is something i think heā€™d attempt to work on for you.
- he is extremely stubborn and resilient, especially when it comes to his own personal views, beliefs, ideals, and opinions, and this makes me think he would be absolute hell to be in a fight with because of his sheer willpower; he just absolutely will NOT give up. if he genuinely and wholeheartedly believes heā€™s right about something, his belief will be unshakable. heā€™s right, youā€™re wrong, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. as such, he wonā€™t let things go, especially if you havenā€™t given into him yet and agreed with him, meaning he will continue to pick at and pull at and press the issue until you really snap, break into pieces and allow him to put you back together his way, the right way.Ā 
- he holds grudges. he will, without a doubt, bring up your past mistakes committed against himā€”things he knows you feel awful aboutā€”and wield them as emotional and psychological weapons in a fight, irregardless of how long ago those mistakes were made, irregardless of if you thought the two of you had forgiven and moved past the issue. he plays dirty, and he doesnā€™t care; itā€™s all about him winning, him coming out on top, him proving that he was correct all along. heā€™ll use anything at his disposal to do so.Ā 
- he wonā€™t compromise, either. i genuinely think this is just one of his toxic traits, a flaw inherent to who he is as a person, and itā€™s pretty much non-negotiable. itā€™s a harsh truth youā€™d have to accept if you were to date him.
- on the contrary, very rarely, he may back down if his views on the topic or issue at hand have not yet been fully solidified. but once they are, thereā€™s no changing them.Ā 
š¢š§ š­š”šž š›šžšš«šØšØš¦:
- he fucks viciously, hips pounding hard and rough and fast, with such force that they shove your body up the mattress with each snap, his hipbones slapping your skin so hard it causes your flesh to ripple. heā€™s always leaving marks across your body, too; with the harsh drag of his teeth over your neck and collarbone and shoulder, or the sharp sinking of his nails and fingertips into your hips and thighs, marring your skin with crops of red streaks and rapidly developing smudges of navy and violet. thereā€™s definitely an element of sadism here but it isnā€™t nearly on the level of, say, dazaiā€™s sadism.
- i think akutagawa is a dom-leaning switch. he doesnā€™t like to be told what to do unless it is from a VERY specific person. otherwise, he likes to be in charge, not because he necessarily has those dom caretaker urges but simply because he likes to be The Boss; he likes to have all of the power and the control over you and your body.
- we know he isnā€™t fond of meaningless torture (which is why i donā€™t think heā€™s as sadistic as dazai), however i think his sexual punishments would be absolutely fucking brutal (because these are not meaningless; these have a very important, very specific purpose, in his mind).
- he really enjoys praise and admiration; he wants to hear how good heā€™s doing, how good his cock feels, how pretty it is, how much you love it, etc.. such compliments tug the most gorgeous little whines from the back of his throat, and are often followed by a jagged growl of more or again.
- his favourite kinks include: marking, bondage, breathplay, cumplay, impact play, dacryphilia, degradation + dumbification (HEAVY), discipline/punishment, cock worship, praise, dry humping, power play (bdsm dom/sub dynamics), orgasm control, and humiliation!
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inkykeiji Ā· 2 years ago
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re: that akutagawa x reader x dazai fic - does dazai end up having to pickup the slack for akutagawaā€™s attempt at aftercare or does he drag akutagawa back to do it properly? tbh im so interested in this polyā€™s dynamic !!
aaah i should really finish the two aku x reader x dazai oneshots iā€™ve got just rotting away in my docs for u then anon 怂ļ¾Ÿ(ļ¾Ÿļ¾‰Š”ļ½€ļ¾Ÿ)ļ¾Ÿļ½” ooh interesting question!! dazai would finish the job himself. akutagawa is too inept at it all, as far as Daddy dazai is concerned. thereā€™s no way he could possibly handle something so special and important </3 and yes, these subtle yet sharp, passive-aggressive remarks about how akutagawa canā€™t do it, canā€™t clean up the mess heā€™s made, has to have Daddy do it for him like everything else, murmured out in condescending coos as dazai tends to reader (so sweet! so soft! so tender!), are also a part of his ā€˜punishmentā€™; the psychological component. it further sows those bitter seeds of inferiority deep into akutagawaā€™s soulā€”so deep theyā€™re irreversible, irrevocable, unremovableā€”as Daddy berates him in a gentle lilt, the causticity of his words contradicted by the clement tone as he reminds him that this is why heā€™s never allowed to play on his own; because heā€™s too incompetent to clean up his fucking messes properly </3
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inkykeiji Ā· 2 years ago
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kisses aku on each of his lil fangies (*ĀÆ Ā³ĀÆ*)ā™”
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mwah mwah mwah mwah!!!!! ā™” ļ½ž('ā–½^äŗŗ) i wanna lick them hehe <3 wanna suck on them n curl my tongue around them ehehe <33 i donā€™t care if it gets me infected!!!
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inkykeiji Ā· 2 years ago
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The aku x reader x chuuya smut was so delicious the combination of them perfect ily you write so well
HEHEHEHEHE aw thank you so much anon bb!!! i really appreciate u and ur words and you taking a moment to send me this (Ā“āˆ€ļ½€)ā™” and iā€™m super happy that u enjoyed it!!! i just think that theyā€™re a very interesting dynamic you know??? because (as far as iā€™ve seen) aku seems to respect chuuya in a way that feels both honourable and nonchalant. and i think if chuuya were with a girlie aku wanted/was attracted to, heā€™d feel this back and forth tug between feeling jealous and feeling almost proud, in a way, of his superior; almost like he looks up to him while also wishing he was in his place. he can both respect him and feel that desire to want to be him.
also that uhhhhhhh drama cd of chuuya giving him a bath????? yeah, that. (*/Ļ‰ļ¼¼*)
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