#initially Calypso licked her

[butmakeitgayblog]

Did the snakes automatically loop themselves through Clarke’s fingers? Do they just like Clarke because she’s not lexa? Which one licked Clarke? 🥰🥰

What they did is they waited patiently until "mom" was asleep and went right back to checking Clarke out, and got comfy and drifted off in the process

Brats. All of them.

And the thing is, this new person is just so intriguing. All they've known is Lexa and her kindness (even if it can be a touch gruff at times), and people intruding there intent on killing them all. But this new person? She plays music that vibrates so prettily off the cave walls. She smells like fresh flowers and sweet wild berries, just like mom. She doesn't seem angry or like she wants to hurt them. Or mom for that matter. In fact... She makes mom's heart jump and race, even when she doesn't realize it...

She's just very intriguing.

[aristia-pjoheadcanons]

How do you think Percy and Jason would be with a gf who has really small boobs and also doesn’t like bjs?

Idk I get insecure

PERCY AND JASON X READER SMALL BOOBS + DISLIKES BJS

pairings: jason grace x percy jackson x female!reader

warnings: nsfw

Percy and Jason are the types of guys that doesnt really notice the physical much when they have a gf.

e.x. Percy and Rachel/Calypso. He loves both because of how natural they were. They didnt try hard to impress, unlike Venus/Aphrodite. Its the fact that you just blend into your own skin and take the spotlight that is given to you - without demanding any attention in an annoying way.

Jason would like you, being you. He doesnt like people that try to act like someone theyre not, because he has done that his whole entire life and it can get shitty.

So being upfront about your dislikes and likes is a huge plus.

We see in HOO that both guys are a bit dense to romantic things at times, unless you vocally tell them. So, if the reader expressed dislike if they hug her too close (because then they might feel her chest being small), they are quick to notice and take it seriously.

But just because Jason and Percy are dense, its because theyre busy with quests and other demigod matters. But they are known to read situations well. Percy has shows great observation skills and understand people without them bringing things up. Jason has learned how to read people from a young age - its how he survived.

Because of this, they would notice immedietly. Jason would give you a knowing look in the corner of his eye. Percy would blink at you and understand but wouldnt bring it up if you dont approach him first.

Blowjobs, sex, making-out - they can leave things like that out of the relationship completely. They dont mind at all. They are well mature and smart enough to understand that, "hey, not everybody like this!". They would never force you to do anything.

Lupa and Sally taught gave them different teachings. Lupa only taught Jason how to analyze, he needed to learn everything else. Sally might not have time to actually sit and talk about romantic and sexual affairs, but Percy has been the type of character to show fool-proof understanding even with the awkward education he got.

Most likely, they would never ever even imply they want a blow jobs ever. They wouldnt even put you near their genitals, it fear it might trigger you.

Percy and Jason realizes this, and share that they dont like licking peoples genitals either, and that its just a preference.

Maybe they would even ask, most likely initiated by Jason/but could go either way, if you like having your chest touched. This might sound weird, but some people dont like it if someone if close to their chest, and might protect it especially if theyre insecure - so they might ask what the optimal distance is. And if they should be careful about hugs.

[sporticus1234]

Behind Tinted Windows-The Nanny Affair 🍋

Pairing: M!Sam Dalton x Main Character (Bianca Stephens)

Summary: Who knows what could happen behind a tinted window. (Continuation of the car ride diamond scene from Book 1, Chapter 5)

Link to my Master-list and other works will be uploaded later on once it has been re-edited and re-made.

🍋WARNING: This story contains topics such as 

Smut

NSFW

Strong Language

By viewing of this work, you are consenting to the fact that you are 18+ years of age and can view such works.

Tagging: @lucy-268 @choices-addict @lady-calypso @choiceskatie 

I love you all so much, and I will see you again soon!

Stop teasing me and give me some clarity I don't need useless words I need your truth not your jokes

-E.X.I.D., Up & Down

___________________________________

On the list of embarrassing moments that have happened in Bianca’s life so far, this one at the very moment had to be at the top of that list and win some kind of award, or at least be internationally recognized.

Sam Dalton, the boss who pays her to watch his children and lets her live in his luxurious penthouse apartment for free, just waltzed into Robin’s office and saw his hands on her chest, just centimeters away from her breast. The deep flame of embarrassment rose from the tips of her toes to the top of her head, the nerve endings in her scalp prickling in fear. Fortunately for her, Robin had the decency to take his hands away from her chest once he saw an irate-looking Sam standing in his office, and she was definitely grateful that her clothes were still covering her body. 

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” Sam’s deep, baritone voice rings out, making no effort to disguise the anger coursing through his veins. His hands were tightly clenched into fists in his pockets, his fingernails digging deep, bright red tattoos into his palm. A loose tendril of his hair had fallen out-of-place and covered the icy, cold glare in his eyes, and Bianca felt herself shrink into a tiny ball and squirm underneath that powerful, sharp gaze. She silently prayed that none of his co-workers would come wandering down this way and witness this train wreck of a disaster.

When the initial shock wears off and her mind finally catches up to the present situation, she squeaked out her plea. “Sam, it’s really not what it looks like!”

“And what the hell is it supposed to look like?” Sam returns, his eyes never once wavering from his brother.

Sam had a bad feeling about leaving Bianca and Robin alone in the same room together, and seeing Robin try to touch Bianca’s breast just confirmed his suspicions. He knew that his brother was a flirty womanizer, but he never expected him to try and sink his teeth into his children’s nanny. Not only was it professionally inappropriate since Bianca was technically a Dalton Enterprises employee, but he knew that Robin was only going to use her as a quick, casual hook-up like all the others, and Bianca was worth more than just one night. She deserved someone who was going to cherish her and give her everything she ever dreamed of, and Robin would never be able to give her that.

“Relax, Sammy,” Robin cut in smoothly with a relaxed smile that only infuriated Sam even more. “We were just trying to clean up a stain. Bianca spilled on herself…see?” Robin pointed to the dark circle of liquid that embedded itself into the fibers of her blouse.

Sam gave Robin another glare that could slice through stone before he turned his focus to Bianca. His eyes involuntarily flicked down to the spot Robin pointed out, his tongue subtly darting out and licking his lips at the patch of fabric that was clinging to her body thanks to the liquid. With a blink, he quickly shifted back to his professional, stoic demeanor.

“Anyways,” he cleared his throat, “how’s the party planning going?”

Bianca silently thanked him for throwing her a lifeline and not turning his wrath on her, and she relaxed back into her chair. “We’re actually all done, which is shocking considering how…,” her tongue poked the side of her cheek, trying to find the right word, “extensive and thorough Sofia’s lists were.”

“Ah, yes,” Sam replied, reaching out to grab a list, cringing as he read off one of her party game ideas that suggested the two of them were a happy couple in love. “I’m familiar with Sofia’s lists and instructions quite well. She’s…” his words trailed off as he scratched his chin, trying to find the right word or phrase to describe his future fiancée. If there was a right word.

“Obnoxiously high-maintenance?” Bianca says.

Robin spluttered on his drink as she quickly slapped a hand over her mouth at her crass remark. As much as she loathed the woman with every fiber of her being, she was potentially going to be one of her bosses, and learning to bite her tongue around Sofia was a skill she needed to learn sooner rather than later, or else she would find herself out on the streets of New York once Sofia and Sam said “I do.”

“As her betrothed, I think I’d better plead the Fifth.”

Robin threw his head back and let out a hearty laugh. “How diplomatic of you, Sammy. If dad does end up disowning you, you’ve always got a future in politics.”

Sam’s frown softened slightly as he turned his focus from the list back to Bianca. “And now I’m fairly certain that you have spent more than enough time with Robin for one day. I do hope that none of our family secrets have been spilled thanks to Robin’s drunk, loose tongue.”

Bianca scratched her elbow and chuckled nervously, but she felt guilt’s knife poke her in the stomach and spread that dreaded feeling to her chest. She may not have learned a Dalton family secret, but she most definitely learned a few secrets about her boss and his engagement that the press would pay millions to have in their hands. She knew she shouldn’t have taken Jenny’s advice, but the opportunity was too sweet to pass up. And the worse part of it all was how she used his own children to satisfy her selfish curiosity.

Robin smoothly cut back into the conversation, shifting the focus to him. “Don’t worry. Bianca still doesn’t know about the band we were in—”

“Oh wow, would you look at the time?” Sam quickly interrupted. “As…entertaining…as that story is, I actually came by to offer Bianca a ride home. Unless…” his eyes drifted back to Robin and the hand that touched his nanny’s chest, the anger simmering in his veins again, “you two have some unfinished business to attend to?”

The glare Robin received from his brother was one he had never seen before, and the pieces of the puzzle were finally starting to click into place. He had his suspicions ever since Sam’s birthday, but his current reaction confirmed every single one of them.

“I’d love a ride home, Sam,” Bianca cuts in before Sam’s eyes permanently glazed over and froze that way. “I think Robin and I are finished here.”

She put her now empty glass on the tray and gathered up her belongings, stuffing them hastily into her bag. In the back of her mind, she knew how dangerous it was to agree to something that involved her and her boss sitting in close quarters together, especially after their recent indiscretions in the kitchen and the bedroom. But she also knew it was the one opportunity for the two of them to have that long overdue, honest conversation she wanted to have before they were interrupted by Sam’s phone. The sexual flirting was turning into sexual tension, and it was growing too fast to ignore any longer. She had to know where she stood in Sam’s eye before that tension snapped and things spiraled into an uncontrollable tornado. If he was going to go through with this stifling, arranged marriage with the world’s most obnoxious human being, she had to quickly douse the flames of desire and not do anything that would compromise her boss’s integrity and image.

“We’ll see you later Robin,” Sam coolly says. “Try not to work too hard.”

“Yeah, catch you later, Robin,” Bianca politely echoed.

“How’s the old adage go?” Robin asked with a playful smile, glancing at Sam’s face out of the corner of his eye. “I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be on the clock now? Sam gruffly asked him, a scowl etched on his face. He was two seconds away from punching that smirk off Robin’s face or throwing him off the top of the nearest skyscraper.

“You know I’m salaried,” Robin wittily banters, ignoring the ticking muscles in Sam’s jaw.

With one more icy glare, Sam waltzed out into the hallway, desperate to put some space between him and Robin before he did something he was going to regret later. Bianca followed behind him but felt herself jerked back as Robin’s fingers wrapped around her upper arm.

“What are you doing?” she fiercely whispered to him. “Do you have a death wish or something?”

“What am I doing?” Robin parroted. “Do you have a death wish? What the hell are you doing?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Do you not see what just happened? I’ve never seen Sam get so wound up and practically shit himself over my flirting before.” Robin’s lips turned up into a grin. “It’s my new favorite thing.”

“Bianca?”

“Coming!”

She shook her arm free from Robin’s grip and caught up with Sam lingering in the hallway. The two of them walked side by side as they made their way through the maze of hallways, occasionally passing an employee that forced them closer so that their arms brushed together. Even though his mood was cold, Bianca felt a little prick of warmth when his arm brushed against hers. They eventually came to a fork in the hallway, but instead of telling her which way to go, his hand pressed into the small of her back and guided her down another hallway towards a bank of elevators. The action took her by surprise, but she wasn’t going to complain about having his hand on her, even if his mood was less than ideal. His hand may be lightly resting on her back, but that light touch still poured out such a strong emotional feeling that Bianca couldn’t quite place her finger on.

As they stood there waiting for the next elevator to come, Robin’s words from earlier drifted back into the forefront of her mind. In the short time that Bianca had known Sam, she never saw him behave that way towards anyone. It was understandable to be upset at seeing inappropriate touching in a workplace environment, but the dangerous glint in his eye was difficult to ignore, and it told her that Sam was more than just upset.

Was Sam…jealous?

She couldn’t understand why Sam would be jealous of Robin hitting on her. Sam had everything going for him. He had the money, the looks, the adorable family, and a beautiful fiancée who was the perfect match, even if the arrangement was less than ideal. Bianca could never compete with the likes of Sofia, and she had nothing to offer Sam that would even come close to what his family wanted. But even she had a hard time believing that statement. Sofia may be the “chosen” fiancée, but Bianca is the one Sam kissed in the middle of the kitchen. She is the one who rubbed oil into his muscles on his birthday. She is the one Sam flirts and teases with. Couple those instances with the dangerous, cold look in his eye, and it was impossible to doubt that something between them was lingering beneath the surface, even if one of the parties was an engaged man. The whole situation made her head swim in confusion, and for her own sake of mind, she had to know if Sam truly felt something for her or if he was using her as a means of escaping his reality.

The elevator doors opened up, and the two of them made their way down to the lobby. As they walked through the opulent space, she could feel the heated stares of the lingering employees, but whenever she tried to catch one of their eyes, they would quickly turn away and pretend to be busy. She had a feeling none of them would acknowledge her thanks to the scowl on the man next to her. Her nerve endings stood alert, ready for whatever was going to happen on the car ride home. The town car pulled up to the curb, and Sam opened up her door and helped her inside before walking over to the other side and smoothly slipping into his seat, making sure to keep plenty of distance between the two of them. He knows Bianca isn’t the one to blame, but the image of Robin’s hands on her was still burning at the forefront of his mind, and he didn’t want to say or do something that she didn’t deserve.

“Good evening, Ms. Stephens,” Carter cordially greeted. “I trust your engagement party brainstorming was most productive?”

“Surprisingly yes, despite having to work with Robin,” she said with a small chuckle, but quickly sobered up once she heard an irritable grunt coming from Sam.

Carter chuckled good-naturedly. “I do see the conundrum there. Would you prefer some music, Mr. Dalton?”

Sam finally broke his silence to address his driver. “Yes, something soft please.”

Once the music started to fill the space and Carter clicked a button to roll up the partition, Sam whipped out his phone to distract himself. He had no idea what came over him in the office a few moments ago. He was never one to be affected by Robin’s flirting, but seeing him flirt with Bianca triggered something inside of him, something he hasn’t felt in years. The truth that Sam tried to push down and conceal for the past few weeks was now rearing its head, and he couldn’t ignore it any longer. He’s hopelessly attracted to the woman sitting next to him. He knows it’s wrong to have feelings for her, but he can no longer deny it. She has a way of lighting up a room when she enters it. She’s amazing with the twins, and the twins have nothing but love and affection for her. Just seeing her in the same room as him made him happy, even if the two of them were just sitting there drinking a cup of coffee in silence. And ever since that first night when he kissed her and felt her body react to his touch, he became desperate to have her in his arms again and never let her leave.

The only difficult part of his attraction was that it couldn’t be acted upon. His father would never hand him the company unless he married Sofia and created the Dalton-Russo business empire. If he didn’t have control over the company, Mason and Mickey’s futures would be left to chance. It pained him to have her so close yet so far out of reach, but he had a family that was counting on him to make the necessary choices, even if they were the wrong ones. But he knew he was dangerously close to his limit, and he didn’t know how much longer he could resist his urges.

When the silence becomes too much to bear, he sighs, putting his phone back in his pocket and turning to face Bianca. “Now that we’re alone, you can tell me how your day with Robin really went.” Bianca swallowed hard, and Sam’s voice softened at her concern. “I hope he wasn’t a massive bother to you. Was he that aggressively flirty all day?”

“Honestly?” Bianca asks.

Sam’s grip tightens on the seat cushion. “What happened? I told Robin to be on his best behavior around you.”

“Relax, Sam” Bianca reassures him. “Besides Robin trying to help me clean up a spill, he was mostly just big talk. Didn’t you tell me he was that way with everyone?”

His grip loosened slightly on the seat. “Yes, but he shouldn’t be like that with you. You’re my—”

“Your what?” she questioned him, cocking her eyebrow and crossing her arms over her chest. She finally had Sam talking and no distractions for the next forty-five minutes. It was time to get some real answers from this man, whether he wanted to give them willingly or if she had to spend the rest of the car ride forcing them out of him. “Am I just your kids’ nanny…or am I more than that?”

Sam’s eyes narrow at her as he searches for the words to say. “You’re my responsibility,” he relents, his voice dropping low. “It’s your job to take care of the boys, and it’s my job to take care of you.”

Sam shifted closer to her, narrowing the gap between them as his leg brushes up against the soft, exposed skin of Bianca’s. A shiver crawls up her spine at his sudden shift in demeanor, and it wasn’t due to nerves. She could hear the possessiveness in his voice and see it in his clouded eyes, yet she strangely didn’t mind it. Without thinking, Sam lightly placed his hand on her leg, and Bianca’s breath hitched in her throat as her never endings started to light up underneath his fingers.

“Let me know if Robin ever does anything that crosses the line…or anyone else for that matter,” Sam says, trying hard to ignore the feeling of her skin. “Myself included…”

“Wow, Sam,” Bianca replies, her voice a hoarse whisper. “You’re getting awfully possessive…”

Sam squeezes tighter on her thigh, pulling a small, soft whimper from her. The sound flicks a switch on inside of him, blood rushing through his body to his already hardening cock, his lips parting in a soft exhale. A thrill runs up Bianca’s spine at his reaction and explodes over her body, her toes softly curling inside her flats.

“I’m not…” he mutters out his lie with difficulty. “It’s just…” he takes a deep breath in and lets it out slowly, trying to discipline the emotions and thoughts threatening to overtake him and controls his actions. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

Bianca cocks a challenging eyebrow at him. “You don’t want me hurt…or you just don’t want someone else to touch me?”

Sam stares at her with an intense, penetrating gaze for a long time, his eyes searching hers as if they held the answer to the question hanging in the air between them. Bianca, however, refuses to shrink away from his gaze, and she matches it with the same intensity, staring down into those hazel orbs filled with unspoken emotions. She is tired of this cat and mouse game between them; she is tired of the tantalizing teasing that happens between them that leaves her needing to take a freezing cold show. But more importantly, she is tired of Sam’s mixed signals. She is tired of his actions and feelings saying and meaning one thing, but his words saying a completely different one. It was time for the two of them to face the truth, with themselves and each other.

Sam is the one to break the silence. “Both.”

Sam’s confession is a bittersweet one. Bianca is happy that Sam finally acknowledged he felt something between them, but she also knows how dangerous that feeling was as well. Sam is engaged; he shouldn’t be having these feelings with anyone besides his fiancée. If word ever got out that he was having a scandalous affair with a lowly nanny, his career would be in utter shambles, and Sofia would not have a moment’s rest until Bianca was publicly shamed into hiding…or burning in hell for all eternity.

“Sam, you shouldn’t be saying that,” she halfheartedly mumbles. “You’re engaged to Sofia…”

“I don’t give a fuck about Sofia,’ he bluntly says.

His words take her back a bit, but Sam knows they are nothing but the truth. There’s a certain liberating feeling in finally admitting it out loud. As far as he was concerned, the only woman who mattered to him now was sitting next to him in this car. He may be engaged to Sofia, but he knew damn well that the only person who mattered to Sofia was Sofia. She would never be able to make him feel the flurry of emotions swirling inside of him at the current moment. Only Bianca could make him feel this way.

Powerful. Bold. Dominating. Aroused. Wanted.

His fingers rub soft, tantalizing circles on the smooth skin of her inner thigh, and he sees goosebumps erupt over the skin, his hard cock punching against the tight confines of his pants. A surge of pride rushes through him at her reaction, knowing that he was the one causing her body to react this way.

“Ever since I touched you that night, I wanted to touch you again. I wanted you in my arms. I wanted to explore every inch of your skin…hear every little sound you make as I make you come undone…”

His circles teasingly inch slowly up her inner thigh, stopping just where the hem of her skirt reaches, her blood and heart pumping hard in her ears. She looks Sam in the eyes and sees them darken and cloud over with lust, and a tingle of excitement and anticipation rushes down to her core. Sam is normally handsome and attractive in his own right, but seeing this side of him: possessive, jealous, and dominating, made his normal demeanor feel bland like flour. In her mind, she knew she had to push his hand away…but her body and heart wanted him to continue further up. She wanted this ever since that erotic dream that feels like a lifetime ago.

“Bianca…I don’t know if I can control myself for much longer,” Sam confesses, his nails leaving tingling scratches up and down her thigh.

Bianca feels the last shred of resolve disintegrate when she hears his confession. She covers his hand with hers, and electricity shocks them both. “Then don’t.”

Time slows down as they stare into each other’s eyes, each of them gauging the other’s response. Giving into the temptation, Sam leans over and closes the last bit of space between them and presses his lips to hers in a sensual kiss that leaves her dizzy. The kiss grows more frenzied, their lips bruising each other as the waves of passion and attraction flow between them, hands grabbing at everything within reach. Her body lurches forward, legs swinging over his as she straddles him, deepening the kiss. Sam’s hands slide up her sides and tangles into her hair, tugging it hard and sending a shiver down her spine. Her lips part open in surprise, and Sam takes the chance for their tongues to dance together in an erotic, sexual rhythm. Her hands brace themselves against the solid, hard mass of his chest, his heart thundering beneath her touch. She can feel the hard bulge beneath her, and she rubs against him, his low groan sending vibrations to the tips of her toes as liquid heat pools in her core. His lips tear away from hers and start peppering little nips across her jaw, and Bianca sighs at the contact.

“Sam…touch me…please.”

His hands let go of her hair and slide down her neck and over her collarbone until her breasts are filling his palms. He softly kneads and massages them, and even underneath the layers of clothes, he can feel her nipples already straining into hardened peaks. He kisses the hollow of her throat before licking a wet stripe up the length of her neck until he finds her pulse point. He softly tugs the skin between his teeth and sucks hard, a gasp pushing out of Bianca as he gives into his carnal desire to mark her as his.

“Is this what you want?” he huskily whispers in her ear, the ghost of his hot breath making the dark, warm tendrils swirl deep in her belly.

“I want more,” she breathes out, the anticipation taking over.

“More?” he chuckles. “Such a greedy girl.” He gives her another long, drugging kiss before sinking his teeth into her lower lip and tugging it back hard, breaking the kiss. “Sit next to me and spread your legs,” he commands.

Shakily, she slides off his lap, already missing the hard heat his bulge was giving her. As soon as she’s sitting down next to him, his hand is automatically back on her thigh. His nails leaving teasing scratches up and down it, drawing out the anticipation and building more pressure in her core. After what feels like an eternity of teasing, his hand starts its journey up her skirt, the fabric bunching up as she instinctively slides down in her seat, her legs spreading and opening up even more to his hiking, wandering hand. She releases a shaky breath when his fingers come millimeters away from brushing her throbbing, wet core, the muscles tightening and tensing only to be released when his finger makes a broad arch over her skin and pubic mound, avoiding her core entirely as he repeats the motion. As much as Sam wants to feel her, he wants to draw this moment out for as long as he could, committing every detail to memory.

When he sees her squirming and her breaths coming out in shallow pants, he finally relents and gives a long, slow stroke up her fabric-covered slit, avoiding her swollen clit, and she releases a long groan that makes his cock punch harder against his pants. He gently teases her folds through her panties with the pad of his finger and nail, sending a multitude of sensations through Bianca’s entire body.

“Your panties are soaked,” Sam groans. “You’re such a dirty fucking girl, aren’t you?”

Her head lolls back against the headrest, her body surrendering to his expert touch. His fingers deftly and expertly stroke and squeeze her throbbing, pulsating folds through her panties in a teasing rhythm. Pressure builds inside of her, his touch combined with the fabric giving her the right amount of friction. But his rhythm isn’t enough; her body is craving for more, her swollen clit begging for release from the intense pressure built up inside.

“Sam…” she whimpers as her hand flies down to grip his muscular thigh.

“Mmm, I love hearing my name on your lips,” Sam moans. “Hearing you beg for me. Hearing how much you want me.”

His fingers split off and stroke her skin and slick folds in soft, smooth motions, and a spark of relief floods through her. He varies the pressure on her, changing it from a soft, delicate touch to a firm caress, and each one makes her all the more needy for him. Her skin buzzes with electricity, her breathing turning ragged thanks to the stifling heat inside of the car. He slowly dips his fingertip beneath the band of her panties, teasing the sensitive, hidden skin covered by the fabric, and another shiver racks her body. Sam can’t take it anymore. He has to touch her. Feel her. Hear his name on her lips as she tips over the edge.

“Take them off, and I’ll really make you scream my name.”

Excitement floods through Bianca as she shifts in her seat. With wobbly knees, her ass hovers slightly above it as her hands dip underneath her skirt to curl into the waistband of her panties. Sam’s eyes burn fiery holes into her skin as he watches her slowly peel her panties down her legs and over her feet. Once he sees the panties in her hand, his breath hitches in his throat, his eyes gazing lustily upon the sheer, thin fabric in her hands.

“Pink?” he asks.

“Why are you asking?” she teases him. “Is pink not your color?”

“On the contrary…” He takes the panties from her hand and rubs the fabric between his fingers, feeling it slightly wet with her arousal. A hard groan leaves his throat as he tosses them to the floor of the car and returns his hand back to her thigh. “A lot of my favorite things happen to be pink.” He trails his hand up again, this time pinching the soft flesh of her thigh, making little nips and bites of red on her skin. “That dress you wore for my birthday that showed off your gorgeous legs…” Pinch and moan. “Your beautiful lips that I kiss and dream about wrapped around my cock…” Pinch and moan. “And of course…” she nearly spasms in her seat when his fingers delicately trace her slick, warm outer folds, his touch like a rose petal. “This is my absolute favorite.”

Seeing her face contorted with such incredible, blissful pleasure, hearing the noises she makes, hearing his name on her lips, knowing all of it is caused by him turns him on even more than he already is. He drags a finger up and down her slit, coating his finger with her wetness and making her lips part with another moan. His blood tingles at the sound, and he teasingly circles and lightly taps her entrance before resuming his strokes. He knows he should stop. He knows he should feel guilty for touching anyone who wasn’t his fiancée like this. He knows he shouldn’t be saying any of the things he is saying to anyone other than fiancée.

But he didn’t want to stop.

He doesn’t feel guilty in the slightest.

“You’re so fucking wet,” he moans in her ear, the desire and lust in his voice making liquid heat pool in her core. “Is this all for me?”

“Yes, Sam. Only you.”

“You’re damn right it’s only for me,” he says. “I’m the only one who can make you this wet. I’m the only one who can touch you like this.” He pinches her slick folds together, soothing them with a soft stroke after hearing her gasp. “I’m the only one who’s cock you’ll be begging for all the time.”

“Sam…please…” she grits out.

He takes her ear lobe between his teeth and sucks and nibbles on it. Feeling her slickness covering his finger, he softly strokes up her slit again and presses a calloused fingertip on her swollen, pulsing clit, a shock of electricity rushing through her body. She squirms in her seat when he presses down slightly harder and flicks, a strangled groan escaping her throat at the pleasuring sensations his finger and teeth are giving her.

“Fuck…” she groans out as his finger starts to circle her clit with varying pressure.

“I want you to scream my name…” Sam murmurs.

Her head rolls back against the headrest, and Sam attaches his lips to the smooth skin on her neck, his finger increasing the speed and pressure before easing off, teasing her and drawing out the release she desperately craves. He finds her pulse point again and pulls the skin between his teeth, biting and sucking hard on it before his tongue swirls over the spot, soothing the stinging effect. Her hand grips his thigh even tighter as her other hand grips the edge of the leather seat, her knuckles turning white as she tries to ground herself before she loses it completely.

He presses his finger over her clit and tugs it downwards until the pad of his finger is millimeters from her entrance. She releases a shaky, exhilarated exhale as he slowly sinks a thick finger into her pulsing core, the sound of her moan traveling straight down to his cock. His eyes burn into her, lips releasing soft puffs of air as he watches her expression turn into one of blissful relief as he sinks his finger deeper into her. Her eyes roll to the back of her head as his finger circles inside of her, stroking and touching every inch of her walls and nerves until they stand alert.

“Who’s your boss Bianca?”

“You...are…sir,” she pants.

The word makes him even more turned on. “Good girl…” he praises.

He gently starts to pump his finger in and out, alternating the rhythm between shallow and almost pulling out completely to sinking deep into her. Every time he pulls out, he curls his finger and makes a come-hither motion, finding the sensitive nerve inside of her core, and a feeling of liquid bliss washes over her. His finger strokes over her nerves before resuming its pumping motion, making sure to always brush her sensitive nerves when he pulls out. The chase for her release begins, the pressure starting to build more and more. It had been so long since she last had a release that wasn’t caused by her own touch, and she didn’t know how much longer she could last.

He slowly sinks another finger alongside his other one, mini-sparks and gasps filling the hot air around them. Her walls clench tight when both his fingers brush over her nerves, and Sam softly groans at the tight feeling around his pumping fingers. If his fingers were making her clench this tightly, he could only imagine how fucking incredible it would feel when she clenched around his cock. His fingers alter their rhythm, moving deep and slowly before picking up a rapid, shallow pace, bringing her to the brink before easing off and making her groan in frustration. He stills his fingers as he swipes his thumb over her clit with rapid flicks before pressing down hard on it again.

“Sam…fuck!”

Her hips buck at the intense, pleasurable pressure, her body starting to grind against his thumb, begging for even more sensation. Every inch of skin is glistening with a fine layer of sweat, fiery passion consuming her thoughts and actions. The pressure between her legs builds as he starts to increase the pace of his fingers, his thumb circling her clit in time with his pumps. Her body is racing faster up the mountain, the blood pounding hard in her ears, her breaths ragged, wanted pants. His thumb presses down hard on her clit again, and her hips fly off the seat at the contact.

“Sam…I can’t…I have to…” Her mind goes crazy with desire, every part of her begging for release from his sweet, agonizing, and overwhelmingly pleasurable assault.

“Do you want to come?” he asks her as his fingers slow down their rhythm.

“Please!”

Hearing her beg for her release makes his cock punch. Sam sinks a third finger into her, and she clenches tighter around the full feeling. Giving her no chance to get her bearings, his fingers and thumb start to work harder and faster than before, assaulting her sensitive nerves each time and pulling sweet-sounding moans that would burn forever in his mind as her hips bucked and flew out of the seat.

“Come for me Bianca,” Sam commands. “I want you to come so hard on my fingers that I can smell you.”

The bands inside her stretch even tighter as her body reaches close to the summit. His fingers pound, press, and pump in a dizzying, frenzying speed, and with one more expert stroke, the bands finally snap. Her body flies over the summit, white, hot pulsating light flashing around her vision as her body shakes and spasms in overwhelming pleasure. His name escapes her lips in a groaning mantra, desire, sensation, and ecstasy crashing over in wave after unrelenting wave. Sam pulls her into his side, guiding her head to rest on his shoulder as he soothingly strokes her hair, whispering sweet-nothings to her through the tremors of her release. His other hand continues to pump and circle as Bianca rides out her orgasm, mini-shocks and sparks tingling her nerves as she slowly starts to descend from the summit. She can feel the beads of sweat on her forehead drizzle down her cheeks, and the taste of salt coats his lips as he kisses her forehead.

“That’s my good girl,” Sam praises. “You did so well.”

Her chest rises and falls hard as she tries to control her ragged breathing. She just had one of the most intense orgasms of her life; the pleasure her fantasy gave her couldn’t even come close to the pleasure Sam had just given her. But even with her thumping heart and pounding blood, the corners of her lips turn up into a small, goofy grin at hearing his praise. Just hearing the way he called her “my good girl” makes her feel something that not even an orgasm can bring.

Once her body stops quivering and shaking, Sam gently removes his fingers, seeing them glisten with her release. He was already committing every single detail of what just happened to memory. The way she moaned and gasped. The way her hips bucked into his hand. The sound of his name tumbling from her lips. The way she clenched around his fingers. The images of her when he closed his eyes and stroked himself paled in comparison to the real thing, yet he wasn’t satisfied. He wanted to see more. He needed to see more. He needs to see her face when his tongue tastes her. He needs to see the way her eyes flutter close as he sinks his cock into her tight heat. He needs to see her breasts bouncing as she rides his cock hard.

He was an insatiable bastard when it comes to her, and he was proud of it.

“Open your eyes and look at me,” he commands.

She shifts in her seat to look at him, and the normal hazel color of his eyes was now darkened into obsidian, filled with lust, arousal, and animalistic desire. Without breaking the sensuous eye contact, Sam sticks his fingers in his mouth and slowly sucks the slickness off of them. He flutters his eyes closed and lets out a groan from the base of his throat, the mixture of her release and the saltiness on his lips covering his tongue. Her core clenches tightly again, her thighs pressing together as desire pools in her belly.

“Fuck, you taste better than I imagined,” he said once his fingers were thoroughly cleaned.

Before Bianca could react, the car comes to a stop outside their building, and the music cuts off. The two of them spring back into opposite sides of the car, leaving a respectable amount of space between them as they readjust their clothes and hair. A flash of pink on the floor catches her eye, but Sam is quickly snatching her panties off the floor and tucking them into the pocket of his blazer before her mind even registered what they were. He gives her a subtle, flirtatious wink as the partition rolls down, and Carter’s smiling face comes into focus.

“We’ve arrived,” he says with a bright smile, and Bianca thanks the heavens that Carter appears oblivious to what happened behind the partition. “I’ll let you out here and then park the car. Unless either of you need something else?”

Sam gives her a crooked, amused smirk, and her cheeks turn hot again, her voice eluding her. “No, that will be all for now, Carter,” Sam answers for the two of them, giving her a coquettish, conspiratorial wink.

The double-meaning behind his words does not go unnoticed. She may have gotten the answers she was looking for, and she may have gotten one of the most earth-shattering orgasms of her life, but she also knew that what took place in this car was not just a one-and-done type of situation. Forget crossing a line. The two of them leapt over several of those lines, going even further on the path of a craving addiction for each other that would either end in bliss or shattering heartache.

But the worst part of all?

Neither of them felt guilty.

“Thanks…” Bianca coughed. “Thanks, Carter.”

Sam opens the door and steps out of the car, running around to the other side to open her door. He holds out a hand and helps her out of the car, her legs and knees shaking slightly as she struggles to find her footing. Sam gives her a cocky grin; a grin Bianca knows is full of pride and arrogance at seeing her body react in this manner. He helps her up to the sidewalk just as Carter pulls the car away from the curb and disappears around the corner into the underground parking garage.

“Shall we?”

Bianca nods. Sam guides them up the pathway towards the front door, his hand on the small of her back again, although much, much lower than earlier, his fingers now resting shamelessly on her ass. The doorman gives them a polite greeting as he opens the door, the cool air of the lobby feeling like heaven on her heated skin. The gilded doors of Sam’s elevator slide open, and they step inside the mental chamber and shoot up towards the penthouse.

Once the doors close in front of them, she turns towards Sam. “How much of that do you think Carter heard?”

Sam shrugs. “There’s not much privacy, even with the partition up.”

Bianca scrubs a hand down her face, completely mortified. “Oh my god.”

Sam gently crooks a finger under her chin and tilts her head up, forcing her to look at the billionaire. “Don’t worry about it. Carter is nothing but professional. And besides, I loved hearing you as I made you come.”

Bianca gulps as the look in his eyes started to harden again. “You…you did?”

Sam’s thumb runs over her swollen lip, slightly tugging it and sending another little jolt through her body. “You have no idea how hard I got listening to you scream my name. Every little noise, every little whimper, every soft moan made me feel…”

“Ho…how?”

Sam groans before his lips crush into hers again. She immediately responds to the assault, returning his hard kiss with a bruising one of her own. His fingers wrap around her wrists as he pushes her backwards, pressing her up against the wall and pinning her arms above her head. She gasps at the sudden contact, and he takes immediate advantage, slipping his tongue into her mouth and teasing it with hers as he presses flush against her body, no inch of space between them. Bianca feels the hardness and firmness of his bulge pressing into her pelvis as his hips dig into hers. Their hips grind together, the friction sending another rush of heat to her core even through the layers of fabric between them. He curses under his breath at the pleasurable feeling as his lips find their way to her neck and suck hard on the skin, no doubt trying to leave another mark.

“Sam…” she breathes out as she feels herself slipping back under his control.

Before the two of them could go further, the elevator bell chimes, and the doors slide open to reveal the opulent penthouse. With agonizing difficulty, they part from each other, a rush of cold air quickly filling the space. Sam gives her one last look before stepping out of the elevator, his mind focused on getting straight to his bedroom, knowing he couldn’t do anything until he deals with the raging hard-on straining and groaning for relief inside his already tight pants.

“Wait!” Bianca calls out before he could get far.

“What’s wrong?” he asks as he turns around.

“Are you ever going to give me my panties back?”

Sam scratches his chin as he contemplates his answer, a mischievous glint in his eyes and a devilish smirk on his face. “Stop by my bedroom later…and I may or may not give them back.”

Before she could respond, he turns and heads deeper into the penthouse, leaving her standing there a raging mess of hormones, flushed skin, and a mind filled with dirty, erotic images of her boss in his bedroom.

God, I am so fucked.

___________________________________

A/N

Re-Edited and Re-Uploaded to fix some mistakes, add a few things, remove a few things, etc. More works are coming soon once I get through them all and re-edit them. 

For those of you who have read this story previously, you may have noticed that it became longer, but I switched from a 1st person POV to a 3rd person POV and definitely increased the raunchiness of it. I was never really comfortable writing words like “cock”, but writing that Open Heart AU Smooth Criminal (also coming back soon!) was the first time I went further into a 3rd person smut POV and how raunchy I could make my smut works, and decided that Nanny Affair deserved it as well. I hope it is much better than before!

For all of you who have read this story and made it this far, thank you so much for your support! It means more to me than you could ever imagine!

I love you all so much!

Second Tagging in case Tumblr becomes Tumbroke again: @lucy-268 @choices-addict @lady-calypso @choiceskatie 

[nazariolahela]

Best Beloved: Chapter 7

A/N: Hey y'all! This story is told in dual first-person narrative, from Kaia (F!MC) and Damien’s POV. The first half of this story takes place during Kaia’s freshman year and Damien’s senior year of college. The second half is two years after Kaia graduates. There will be sprinklings of canon in this fic, but we’ll try to step out of the box for the most part. Thanks for reading, and please leave feedback, and/or if you would like to be tagged.

Catch up here

Series Tags: @burnsoslow​​ @lady-calypso​​​​ @irishwhiskys-blog​​ @loveellamae​​

Synopsis: What happens when you find yourself crushing on your best friend? For years, Damien and Kaia have been friends, while secretly harboring feelings for one another. Everything changes one night after a little too much alcohol and years of pent up feelings. Can they control their emotions and salvage their friendship, or will the feelings they hold for one another destroy everything they have?

All characters are the property of Pixelberry Studios. Thanks for allowing me to borrow them.

Chapter Summary: One relationship progresses, while another comes to its end.

Kaia

“STRIKE! Suck it, Kaia!” Victoria shouted as her bowling ball struck all ten pins.

It was Thursday night at the local bowling alley — humorously-titled Split Happens — and my friends and I were hanging out for College Student Night. Nadia initially had the idea for me, her, Steve, and Hayden to double date, but, then I invited Vic and Drake, and it ended up being a group gathering. We invited Sloane, but she had other plans.

Hayden returned to our seats holding two drinks and a basket of fries. He set the fries on the seat in between us and handed me my drink. We’d gone out a few times since the night of the homecoming dance. For our first date, he took me to brunch at this cute little café off-campus. We talked for hours about everything from our favorite professors to our personal lives. He also told me stories about his dog, Dipper. We’d gone out three times after that, each date ending with a hug or a peck on the cheek, and a promise to call or text the next day.

“Your roommate is funny,” he said, grabbing some fries from the basket before shoving them in his mouth. I turned to where Victoria was sitting and saw her eyes glued to Drake’s backside as he bent over to pick up his bowling ball.

“She’s something. I got really lucky in the roommate department.”

He nodded. “Mine sucks. Wanna trade?”

“Ha! Not after the stories you’ve told me. I’m lucky Vic only brings Drake to the room when I’m not there. And no overnights, thank the gods.”

“Well, at least she respects your personal space. I found some lacy underwear in my bed last week. And I know they weren’t mine. Red is totally not my color.”

I laughed and reached for a handful of fries at the same time he did. Our hands brushed and I almost dropped mine at the contact. He looked down at the basket, then back up at me, and smiled as he popped the fries in his mouth. His tongue darted out to lick the granules of salt from his lips, and my eyes followed the movement. The two of us stared at each other until we were interrupted by Nadia slumping down in her chair next to me.

“You’re up, Kaia,”  she sighed.

I set my drink down and walked toward the ball return. Finding the pink and white marble ball, I slipped my thumb, middle, and ring fingers into the finger holes, hefted the ball up, and walked up to the foul line.

I stared up at the scoreboard and surveyed my status. It was the tenth frame and I was only six points behind Victoria, so I just needed to knock seven pins down and I’d beat her. We started the game out friendly, but she let her competitive streak get the best of her, and it ended up getting chippy towards the end. Naturally, Steve was smoking all of us. It was stupid how athletically gifted he was. Hayden was in second, followed by Drake, Victoria, then me. Nadia brought up the rear, but she didn’t seem to mind. She was too focused on swapping spit with Steve once her turn was up.

I pulled the ball close to my chest and lined up my shot. Inhale. Exhale. I swung my arm back, before propelling the ball forward and releasing it. It rolled down the lane, teetering towards the gutter. I squatted down on my haunches as the ball rolled down the lane, waving my hands as if my psychic powers could redirect the ball back towards the pins. The ball reached the pins and clipped the sixth and tenth ones, causing them to wobble, before toppling over and taking the ninth pin with them. I groaned. Shit. I had two more balls to get at least four pins in this frame.

Behind me, Victoria giggled. “I got this in the bag,” she loudly proclaimed. I whipped around and narrowed my eyes in her direction as she squeezed Drake’s arm and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Don’t celebrate too soon. I still have two more balls this frame,” I said as I walked back to the return.

From the corner of my eye, I caught Hayden watching me. I turned my head towards him and we locked eyes. He smiled and took a sip of his soda.

“Any advice?” I asked.

He stood up and stalked towards me, his massive frame shadowing my much smaller one. He guided me towards the lane and stood behind me, positioning my body.

“The first thing you want to do is square your shoulders,” he said, placing one hand on each of my shoulders, straightening my posture. The touch of his hands burned through the thin fabric of my t-shirt.  “Then, when you go to release, keep your backswing moderately high, it will give you a modest ball rotation and your release will be smoother.” He dragged his hand down the back of my arm to my elbow, sending goosebumps all over my body. He hooked his fingers in the crook of my arm and pulled my arm back to mime the motion.

“Also, try to rotate your wrist clockwise. This will cause the ball to hook in the opposite direction so you don’t sink it in the gutter,” he said, wrapping his large hands around my tiny wrist, and rotating it. His fingers brushed the underside of my wrist ever so gently and I sucked in a quick breath.

“O-okay! I think I got it,” I stuttered, pulling my hand from his grasp. I slipped my fingers in the grips of the ball and narrowed my eyes at the seven remaining pins. I tried to ignore Hayden’s burning gaze behind me as I lined up my shot and released my ball down the lane. Everyone in our group fell silent as the ball made its slow (okay, maybe it wasn’t that slow, but it sure felt like it) descent down the lane towards the remaining seven pins. I heard Victoria gasp as the ball struck the front pin dead center and took out the remaining pins.

When the pin sweep dropped and swept away the discarded pins, I whipped around and leaped into Hayden’s arms. “You’re a genius!”

He chuckled and squeezed me against him. “What do you mean? That was all you! You kicked those pins’ asses.” He set me back down and I ran over and high-fived Steve, Nadia, and Drake. I plopped down next to Victoria and she rolled her eyes and held up a hand for a high-five, smirking as our palms connected.

“Yeah, yeah. You got me.” She looked over at Hayden, who was talking with Steve about gods knows what. “So, how’s it going with you two?”

“Things are good. We’re taking it slow. Getting to know each other. I really like him. He’s funny. And so cute. How’s everything with you and Drake?”

She visibly blushed, and I reached over to grip her forearm. “Vic! Tell me EVERYTHING!”

“He’s amazing. We’re together almost every day, and the ones we aren’t, we talk on the phone every night. I’m crazy about him, Kaia. Dare I say, I might be in L-word.”

Victoria and Drake had been seeing each other for about two months and it warmed my heart to hear that she was head over heels for him. I smiled and pulled her in for a hug. “Oh, Vic! I’m so happy for you. You deserve to be happy.” I pulled back and noticed her eyes were shining with unshed tears. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. It’s just that saying those words out loud, it feels real.” She looked away from me and I followed her line of sight to see her staring at Drake lovingly. She quickly wiped her eyes and stood up from her seat. “Alright. Enough emotions. You guys wanna play another game?”

“I’m up for it if everyone else is,” I replied. The rest of our group agreed and we set up for another game. When it was all said and done, Steve won (again) followed by Drake, and Hayden. Victoria ended up finishing two pins ahead of me, with Nadia once again bringing up the rear. We gathered our coats and returned our shoes to the rental. As we stepped out of the alley, the wind picked up. I tugged my jacket tighter against me. These late-October temps were pretty unpredictable and I was thankful I brought a heavier jacket.

I waved goodbye to my friends as Hayden wrapped an arm around my shoulders and guided me to his car. He opened the door for me and I winked at him as I slipped into the passenger’s seat. I watched as he jogged around the back of the car and climbed in the driver’s side.

“You hungry? Wanna go grab a bite before I drop you back off at your dorm?”

“Sure,” I replied. He nodded then fired up the engine and pulled out of the parking lot.

“Did you have fun tonight?” I asked.

He turned slightly, keeping his eyes on the road. “I did. Your friends are fun.”

I smiled. “I’m glad you said that. I was worried about how you’d get along with them. They can be a little much. Especially my cousin and my roommate.”

He laughed. “Your cousin is a trip! And her boyfriend seems nice. Your roommate, on the other hand...”

I turned in my seat. “Why? What did she say to you?”

“Nothing bad. But she cornered me near the restrooms and asked me what my intentions with you were.”

“And what did you tell her?” I asked, amused.

“I just told her that I wanted to get to know you and see where things went. My intentions are pure. Nothing inappropriate. Yet.” He laughed and wiggled his eyebrows.

I smirked and shook my head as we drove. A few minutes later, we pulled up in the McDermots drive-thru. I ordered a McBurger while Hayden got the Wild-Style Double McDermot Deluxe burger. We sat in the parking lot and ate our food in comfortable silence.

When Hayden finished eating, he balled up his sandwich wrapper and turned to me. “What are you doing this weekend?”

“Well, midterms are almost over, so I’m definitely catching up on sleep, but I can make time to see you. What did you have in mind?” I asked, throwing my wrapper in the take-out bag.

He smiled. “Well, we could go check out that new Keanu Reeves movie that hits theaters tomorrow if you like action movies.”

“Yeah, that sounds good. Text me this weekend and we’ll play it by ear.”

He nodded and put the car in gear, then pulled out of the parking lot and headed back to campus. We chatted about midterms for the rest of the ride. When he pulled into the dorm parking lot, we exited the car and he walked me to my room.

“So, I’ll see you in class tomorrow,” I said as I unlocked my door.

I swung it open and stepped over the threshold of my room then turned back to him. He leaned one arm on the doorframe, staring at me with those dark eyes. “Looking forward to it.”

We stared at each other for several beats, then he leaned in and pressed a searing kiss to my lips. I froze at first, not sure how to respond, but then gave in to the kiss. I gripped his biceps to steady myself as the kiss grew deeper. After what felt like hours, he broke the kiss and stepped back. Both of us stared at each other as we tried to catch our breaths.

“Sorry. I had to do that,” he said.

“Don’t apologize. It was nice,” I replied.

He smiled and cupped my cheek in his palm. “See you,” he said, then strode down the hallway towards the elevator.

I slipped into my room and shut the door, leaning against the back of it. I brought my fingers up to my lips, still feeling his kiss. I couldn't lie, I did like it. Almost as much as I liked the one Damien sprung on me at homecoming.

What the... Why was I thinking about him? Things with Hayden were never going to progress if I kept carrying a torch for Damien. I groaned and flung myself onto my bed. I was in deep shit.

***

Damien

I walked in the door of my childhood home and sighed. I loved coming here. It made me feel like I was whole. I missed home. Even before my dad passed away, I made an effort to come back at least once a month. More, if needed. Stepping aside, I let Alana walk in front of me and guided her toward the living room. The smell of empanadillas wafted through the house as my mother’s voice rang out from the kitchen. 

“Is that you, mijo?”

“Yeah, Mama! Alana and I are here.”

She bustled out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron, then took my face in her hands. She pulled me down to her height and kissed my cheeks. “My boy! So good to see you.” 

She then turned to Alana and her eyes lit up. “Hello, dear. How are you?” she asked as she placed a hand on Alana’s shoulder.

“I’m good Mrs. Nazario. How have you been?”

My mother nodded “Good, good. It’s always nice when my children come home.” She patted Alana on the cheek and ushered her to have a seat. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“Water’s fine for me,” Alana replied. 

My mother nodded then motioned for me to follow her to the kitchen. We entered and I spotted my youngest sister, Lucilla, leaning against the counter. “Dames! So nice of you to join us,” she smirked as she bit into an apple. 

I moved forward and wrapped my arm around her neck, pulling her to my body, as I rubbed my knuckles against her scalp. She grunted as the apple she was holding dropped to the floor. “Hi, sis. Did you miss me?”

Lucilla reached over and pinched my sides. I yelped as I released her from my grip. “How could I miss you when you never go away?” she said as she leaned over to pick up the apple. “Did you bring your girlfriend?” 

I looked to Mama, then back to her. “Yeah, she’s in the living room. Can you bring her some water?”

Lucilla rolled her eyes then opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. “That’s fine. We can catch up and talk shit about you.”

I swung my leg out to kick her, but she dodged me at the last second, laughing as she burst through the kitchen door to the living room. My mother chuckled to herself at the interaction. When my sister was out of the room she turned to me, smiling.

“How are you, my boy? School going well?”

I nodded, leaning beside her against the counter as she slipped the next batch of empanadillas into the deep fryer. “Yeah. Just finished midterms. I’m ready to be done already. Just gotta get through the rest of this semester and next.”

She smiled. “I’m so proud of you. Your father would be too. Just hang in there for a few more months. It will all be worth it. How is the internship going?”

“It’s great. I’m loving every minute of it. I think I’m going to pursue a career in Intelligence after graduation.”

Mama’s eyes lit up. “Oh, my boy! That’s so wonderful. I can see it now. My son will have a fancy government job in Washington D.C. I’ll never have to worry about you.”

I wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her in for a hug. I hated hearing that my mother worried about me. Especially when she had her own heartache and my younger sisters to worry about. I wiped a stray tear from her cheek and pressed a kiss to her temple. “Don’t worry about me. I’m going to be alright.”

“I know you will. But it’s my job to worry about you. As long as you’re taking care of yourself.” She pulled the empanadillas from the deep fryer and set them on a towel to cool. Her eyes darted to the kitchen door and she lowered her voice. “Everything alright with...” she jerked her head towards the living room.

I sighed and dragged a hand down my face. “Where do I start?”

My mother wiped her hands on her apron and guided me to the kitchen table. “Sit. Do you want something to drink?”

“Rum if you’ve got it,” I replied. 

She moved over to the cabinet and grabbed the bottle of spiced rum. I smiled. It was my father’s favorite brand. She placed the bottle and two tumblers on the table and took a seat across from me. “Spill, my boy.”

“I don’t know, Mama. It just seems like our whole relationship is toxic. We barely spend time together, and when we do, we argue the whole time. She gets crazy insecure and accuses me of cheating on her just because I hang out with Kaia, and it-”

“Wait...Kaia? Kaia Park?” my mother interrupted.

“Uh, yeah. Why?”

My mother pursed her lips and stared at her hands. “I didn’t want to say anything back then, but I always wondered what happened between you two.”

“Mama, nothing happened between us. She was always too young for me. The last time anything happened was four years ago.” I purposely omitted the incident at homecoming, but my mother knew about the graduation party. She mentioned that Kaia seemed off in the days following, and stopped coming around the house after I left for college. It wasn’t until Nadia told Carina, who told Ma what happened, that she finally put two and two together.

“You were always smitten with that girl, no matter how much you lied to yourself.”

“Mama. It wasn’t like that. We’re best friends,” I said defensively.

“I know better, mijo. I watched you two when you were together. You looked at her like she was the only girl in the room. And she you.” She chuckled and took a sip of her glass. “You two were attached at the hip. I never suspected anything until that summer before your junior year. She came over one time when you weren’t home and your father found her hanging out in that treehouse. When he asked her what she was doing, she said she wanted to be here when you got back. He said he knew at that moment that you weren’t ‘just friends’ in her eyes.”

I swallowed a sip of spiced rum, the liquid burned as it went down. “Maybe so, but that doesn’t mean anything. She had a crush on me. I already knew that. But I never pursued her. She was underage.”

“Understandable. But do you remember your senior year of high school? When that boy she was seeing broke her heart? You went over to his house and threatened to beat him up if he even looked at her again.”

“Yeah, ‘cause she was my best friend and she was hurting,” I said.

My mother shook her head. “Guess how many times I caught you glaring at him while you watched them together? Every time he showed up at her house, you sat on that front porch and stared. If looks could kill, that boy would have dropped dead before he reached the front door.”

I twisted the tumbler in my hand. “I...I don’t know what to say…”

“You don’t have to say anything to me. You need to be honest with yourself, first and foremost. Then, you need to be honest with Kaia.”

The faint sounds of laughter came from the living room. I glanced at the door before turning back to Mama. “Won’t matter. She has a boyfriend. And I have a girlfriend. Who I love. And who’s sitting in the next room.”

My mother cupped my cheek in her palm. “Oh, mijo. You know I love you, and I want you to be happy. But that girl. She does not make you happy. I can see it in your eyes.”

Damn, she was good. How did moms always know what kids didn’t? “I have a lot to think about. But thank you for being there.” I sighed and finished off my rum, then collected both glasses and put them in the dishwasher. 

Mama brushed the hair from my forehead and kissed the top of my head. She put the bottle of rum back in the cabinet and went back to preparing dinner. “Go tell Alana and Lucilla that dinner is almost ready.”

I swung the door open and saw my sister and girlfriend sitting on the sofa, looking through a photo album. A bottle of wine sat open on the coffee table accompanied by two glasses. Alana’s water bottle remained untouched. “Hey! Mama said dinner’s almost ready, so go wash up.” 

Lucilla rose from the couch, rolling her eyes. “Yeah, okay.” She collected the wine bottle and glasses and retreated into the kitchen. 

I turned to look at Alana, who set the photo album down and examined her nails. “Did you and your mom have a nice chat?”

“We did. Were you getting my sister drunk?”

She laughed humorously. “It was one glass, Damien. And she’s not driving anywhere. It will be fine.”

“She’s only 16, babe.” 

I glanced down at the photo album which lay open on the coffee table. Photos of my sisters and me when we were kids filled the pages. I picked up the book and went to close it when one picture caught my eye. It was Nadia, Kaia, Carina, and I. I was maybe 17 at the time. We were sitting on the porch swing outside Kaia’s house. Nadia and Carina sat on the end, making funny faces, while Kaia and I were squished in the middle. My arm was slung around her shoulders, and I was gazing at her. Then, it hit me. I finally saw what my mother was talking about.

“Oh, shit,” I muttered under my breath. I looked up to see Alana eyeing me suspiciously. I opened my mouth to say something when my mother’s voice rang out from the kitchen.

“Dinner’s ready. Come eat!”

Alana turned on her heel and stomped towards the kitchen. I closed the photo album and put it back on the bookshelf behind the sofa. I raked my hand through my hair and made my way towards the kitchen. This was going to be a long dinner.

A few hours later, Alana and I were on our way back to campus. We drove in uncomfortable silence for most of the trip. We were about 10 miles from school when she turned to me, breaking the silence.

“How long have you been in love with her?”

I swallowed. Welp, better to rip off the bandaid now. “I don’t know exactly. I guess I’ve been lying to myself this whole time.”

“And to me…” she trailed off.

“Alana-”

“Don’t, Damien. Okay? Just...don’t. I’m not an idiot. You know, I didn’t want to believe it, but the signs were right in front of me this whole time. The stolen glances. The emotional unavailability. I guess I thought you'd eventually get over whatever it was you felt for her. I’m just sorry that whatever we had wasn’t enough to keep you interested.”

I gripped the steering wheel until my knuckles turned white. “I’m sorry too. To be honest, I knew this relationship was doomed when you turned down my marriage proposal. I think I stuck it out, hoping you’d eventually change your mind. I wish we would have just called it quits then. It would have saved us both a lot of pain.”

She nodded. Neither of us said another word until we pulled into the campus parking lot. She reached out to open the car door, but stopped and turned to me. “For what it’s worth, I did love you. I guess it just wasn’t enough to spend forever together.” She gave me a weak smile, then got out of the car. I watched her walk away, a heavy weight lifted off of my shoulders. When she was out of sight, I got out and made my way to my dorm. 

When I got inside my room, I threw myself on my bed and sighed deeply. I knew breaking up with Alana was the right thing to do, but I still felt like shit about it. I needed to get some things off my chest and there was only one person I wanted to talk to. I pulled my phone from my pocket and thumbed through my contacts until I pulled up her name. I opened the text app and typed out my message.