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talkingismylifewrites · 5 years ago

Text

okay here’s my pitch (spectacular, spectacular)

we open on the moulin rogue, it’s lights are down and its empty/deserted

flash to brian playing the red special, singing sadly about lost loves and broken dreams

it flashes to john, sitting at a typewriter and beginning his story of leaving behind his lucrative job doing something that makes money (idk accounting or some shit like that) and moving to paris for a year to find himself among the bohemians

and there, in monmarte, is where he meets him: roger, the sparkling diamond of the moulin rogue, and jim ‘miami’ beach’s songbird

its a story of freedom, truth, beauty, and above all things, love

“the greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return“

john is just chilling in his shitty flat trying to write a song when an unconscious zanzibarian falls through his ceiling (freddie)

brian comes bursting into his room apologizing, and he, tim, and ratty manage to tug freddie back up into the room where they’re making their story

“it’s a fantastic story about a man who murders someone and is on the run!! we call it....bohemian rhapsody!”

and johns like oh dope cool i’m trying to be a songwriter but its not coming along well

and they end up drinking a SHIT TON of absinthe

(fun fact absinthe doesn’t make you hallucinate. absinthe was super popular among the bohemians because it was waaaaay cheaper than wine and did the job of getting you drunk faster than wine so the bougie wine bitches didn’t like that and started a rumor that absinthe made you hallucinate/poisoning bottles and it effectively ruined the absinthe business)

(bitches)

and somehow, john finds himself part of the gang and wearing brian’s best suit and shuffled off to the moulin rogue to try and tempt roger into funding their musical

john is like i am legit the worst person to do this why can’t you guys do this

freddie: roger and i have a bond stronger than god. our friendship was forged in the fires of valhalla and i was put on this earth to be his best friend and best friend alone. alas, there are circumstances outside of my control that have separated us and therefore i cannot be seen in his vicinity for the next week

tim: freddie borrowed roger’s best jacket and accidentally set it on fire when he fell asleep next to a lit candle

freddie: CIRCUMSTANCES OUTSIDE OF MY CONTROL--

brian: roger’s still angry at me for telling him that i don’t think anyone could write a good song about your racehorse without it coming off as you wanting to fuck the horse

SO YEAH JOHN GOES TO THE MOULIN ROGUE

and at first he’s like oh weird this place is...a lil seedy but its fun and bright and there are girls and boys everywhere

(because this is a paris where there is no homophobia because we’re throwing all of canon out the window INCLUDING HOMOPHOBIA)

and he’s having a good time drinking and enjoying himself when miami announces that its sparking diamond time

cue roger descending from the heavens amid a shower of glitter on a swing

and john promptly forgets everything

roger, swathed in blue, singing in his beautiful falsetto, wearing a slutty lil number and singing about diamonds behind his best friend, is the most spectacular thing he’s ever seen

meanwhile, roger and miami are doing a quick outfit change and miami’s like okay so in the corner there’s the Duke

(hc the duke is played by david bowie because it just fucking works)

and the duke is like, infuckinglove with you and you need to seduce him and if you do he’ll fund your show and make you a real actor/singer, not just a courtesan

(also in the original script the idea was for satine to have a daughter and the story is told to the daughter by christian and i like that more)

roger has also been clare’s legal guardian since she was a baby so he’s like, in this to win it for her

he’d sell more than his body, he’d sell his soul to care for her

so he looks at the Duke and he sees a way out, for him AND for clare

he’s like sign me up buttercup i’ll seduce this man right out of his bank account if it means getting out of here

H O W E V E R

there’s a miscommunication and roger ends up confusing john for the Duke

they dance, they flirt, and the next thing john knows he’s standing in roger’s room and roger’s doing his best to seduce him

john’s getting all flustered and confused and he’s just trying to read this poetry that he wrote?? but roger’s wearing lacy lingerie and grabbing at his dick and writhing on his lap and john is only human okay

and john just gets so flustered he ends up bursting out into song (your song, but if we wanted to be cheesy we’ll make it you and i)

and roger is HOOKED

he’s like OMG THIS DUDE IS GORGEOUS, HAS MONEY, AND HE CAN WRITE SONGS LIKE NO ONE ELSE

and they kiss (fireworks exploding behind them)

when john is like hey who’d have thought a lowly poet would fall in love with the world’s most beautiful man

que panic

roger’s trying to get john out of the room before the Duke sees

and there’s a really awkward moment where roger’s on his knees before teh Duke trying to seduce him while distracting him from john sneaking out the window but there’s no denying that they LOVE EACH OTHER

and when the Duke leaves roger and john are whisper arguing over the miscommunication when the Duke comes back

they have to cover it up by being like WE’RE WRITING THE MUSICL FOR YOU LISTEN TO OUR PITCH!!

and it has miami, freddie, brian, tim, john, and roger acting out the whole of bohemian rhapsody (with a few edits)

and its a story of a beautiful courtesan being stolen away from her true love the lowly sitar player by the evil maharaja

the Duke loves it, loves roger and is like i’ll do it

what follows is a lot of love scenes, where john and roger have a lot of stolen moments ‘writing the play’

they share kisses behind the stage, he sneaks over to his place, and roger ultimately introduces clare to john

clare, however, is deathly ill with consumption, but no one wants to tell roger because if he knew that he would never leave her side and would probs die from grief

miami catches onto them and he admits that he bartered the moulin rogue for roger

the Duke will fund E V E R Y T H I N G for them, the musical, the wine, the costumes, roger’s expensive jewelry, AND clare’s medicine, but only if he and he alone can have roger

so if he catches roger with john, he’ll pull all funding, get the moulin rogue, and will stop giving clare the medicine she needs

(also he’ll kill john but they don’t know that...yet)

so roger is like we won’t get caught i promise

well

the Duke catches onto them being loveydovey, and when one of the other girls at the moulin rogue reveals that roger and john are in love, he freaks the fuck out

and john doesn’t help by bellowing “he doesn’t love you!” at the Duke

so the Duke issues an ultimatum: roger goes to him or all funding is gone

and roger, knowing that means that that would cost clare her life, agrees

john, meanwhile, wrote a beautiful love song for roger (you and i or come what may i’m feeling frisky we’ll take either) and tearfully tells him that no matter what he’ll always love him

“this song will prove my love for you no matter where or when if you hear it then you know i’ll always love you”

and roger is like you could never love me you’d get jealous and mean and you’d hate me

and johns like I COULD NEVER YOU’RE MY BEST FRIEND

(see what i did there)

(i’ve never gotten this far usually lo is like....no)

A N Y W A Y S

roger starts to spend more time with the Duke but he’d like oh no we can’t have sex because i want to wait for us to get married because i love you so much its so special to me i couldn’t just throw it away

(john writes a viciously funny bit of the musical where roger the courtesan sings to the evil maharaja “misfire”)

and there’s a lot of heartbreak and longing looks from across the stage, and john sends roger love notes that are all very sweet and kind and roger is like i love you but i can’t be with you

and they spend their nights together, just laying in bed and writing beautiful music together and enjoying each other’s company

when the Duke insists that Roger comes for dinner

and he lowkey implies look either you fuck me tonight or i’ll leave

so john corners roger and is like i’m sorry i know i told you i wouldn’t be jealous but i can’t, i can’t watch you walk away knowing that you’re going to be with someone that awful i can’t i love you too much

and roger is HEARTBROKEN he’s like you don’t understand i don’t have a choice, you knew this when you met me, i can’t not do this. its too much, there’s too many people’s lives in limbo if i don’t

and he tells john that if john really loves him he wouldn’t do this, wouldn’t make him choose between losing everyone and their love because he can’t

he can’t lose clare

john nods once, apologizes, and as he walks away, roger sings their song to him, promising him that no matter what, he’ll always love him

that night, miami takes roger to the Duke’s and he whispers apologies the whole time because miami loves roger as a song, he loves clare as his daughter, and had he known that roger was in love he never would have sold him like this

and roger is like its Fine

(spoilers it’s not fine)

roger and the Duke eat dinner and the Duke gives roger a beautiful choker of diamonds and is ready to do the deed

when roger realizes that he can’t

its not worth it, losing everything

and he says no, tries to be diplomatic, tells the Duke he’s not ready, that he can’t, he’s sorry--

but the Duke isn’t listening, he’s just thinking of john and their longing looks and he puts two and two together and for once gets four

he grabs roger by the necklace and drags him to hte bed, ready to take what he believes is legally his

and roger’s screaming for him to stop but he’s not, and roger is just so terrified and he can’t fight back, the duke’s on him, he’s choking him and hurting him and--

crystal, roger’s bodyguard and bff, shows up and cracks the Duke across the head with a vase, knocking him out

together, they run to John’s house, and roger is hysterical, he’s sobbing for john, and john just holds him close and is like its okay, i love you, i love you

roger: he was touching me, he was there, and all i could think of was you and how you would never, and i love you, john, i couldnt do that to you, i couldn’t, i love you--

and john tells him pack a bag, get clare, we’re leaving tonight we’ll go back to london, i’ll write my parents and get money and we’ll leave this place behind and never look back

crystal takes roger back to the moulin rogue where miami is waiting, and roger is throwing all his shit into his suitcase, filling his bag with diamonds that all his suitors have given him, when miami tells him

clare is dying

and if she leaves before she gets this medicine the duke has been paying for, she’s going to die

furthermore, if the duke sees roger with john one more time he’ll kill john AND clare

roger just crumples, he’s on the floor despondant

miami holds him close and is like songbird, i’m so sorry, roger, i didn’t know, i didn’t know

they devise a plan

roger will break john’s heart to save him, and when its all said and done he’ll marry the duke, take clare, and live a lavish life on the Duke’s dime

his heart will be broken, he’d be a shell of who he once was, and his misery would seep into the very pore of his being

but john would be alive

roger could die a thousand deaths if it would mean that john would live

he would go to hell and back if john was alright

(baz luhrmann said in an interview that at its very heart moulin rogue is the story of orpheus and eurydice and i feel that in my BONES)

that morning, he goes to john’s

he’s wearing one of the finery that the Duke sent him and on his neck is the necklace the Duke gave him. it barely covers the bruises on his neck and does little to hide the way his whole body shakes as he confesses to john that he lied

he doesn’t love him, he never did, never had, he just needed the musical to be the best that it could be

that he seduced john so that john would write him something to be remembered by, something that would woo and awe the whole crowd

and john is screaming at him that he’s lying, its not true, what did the Duke do? what did he say to him?? what happened between that night and now??

and roger just repeats himself because he’s done it before and he’ll do it again

he will lie and steal and flirt and make people fall in love with him if it means saving the people that he loves most of all, clare, and now, john

roger tries to leave, but john blocks the door

“did it mean nothing?” john sobs, reaching out and touching roger’s face. “how could it mean nothing when my heart aches to be near you, to love you, you cherish you? how could you say it meant nothing when you know in your soul that we’re meant to be together?”

“it couldn’t mean anything,” roger whispers, voice breaking. “it couldn’t because there was never anything between us, other than our--your music. you mean nothing to me.”

liar

he means everything

roger leaves

john sobs

brian and freddie console him, singing el tango de roxanne

brian confesses that he was in love, once, with a courtesan who chose wealth and stability over a lowly guitar player, and brian has never forgiven himself for letting her go

john, drunk, furious, and hurt, ends up screaming for roger outside the moulin rogue until crystal and ratty come drag him away

“you’re free to leave me,” john wails. “but just don’t deceive me.”

the next night is the premier of the show

we see roger in his dressing room, wiping away streaks of mascara from under his eyes as he makes himself look perfect

(freddie sings the show must go on)

(zoom in on roger staring out the window at john’s flat, his voice wavering and cracking on “inside my heart is breaking, my make up may be flaking but my smile still stays on”)

the Duke arrives, kisses roger forcefully, and places his hand on little clare’s shoulder, staring roger in the eye when he tells her he’s so happy to see her doing better now that she’s gotten her medicine

roger squirms, remembers the feel of his mouth on his, his hands on his body, the way he held him down--

the price of clare’s life is worth twice as much as his own

roger accepts the flowers, places the new necklace on his neck and feels as though he’s being chained, being held down and forced. feels it sit on his shoulders like a yoke, chaining him forever to a man he despises

the show begins and roger is on fire

all the heartbreak, the pain, the misery, he twists it into his story

when he weeps on stage, the audience weeps

when he sings, the audience is held, spell bound

roger is flawless, he’s fantastic, he’s--

he’s dying

he’s barely holding it together, sobbing in the wings as miami ties him into his stays and dress, holds him close and promises that everything will be okay, he did the right thing for clare

meanwhile, freddie can’t stand to see his best friends broken

he sneaks john into the show, gives him his costume, and tells him to see roger

john breaks into roger’s backstage, all the money he collected for their escape to london in his hands

he sold everything, his guitar, his typewriter, his cufflinks, anything and everything he could get his hands on if it meant he could save roger and clare

and now, all he has left is a handful of bank notes and a broken heart

the least he could do is pay for roger’s services

he chases roger through the backstage, following him, despondent with grief, begging roger to take the money, to set him free of his memory, his desires, his heartbreak

roger can’t look at him, trying desperately to get onto the stage, to look past this, look past john and the life he so desperately wants and can’t have

they end up behind the curtain, roger on his knees, john holding his arms, the two of them sobbing as john demands he take the money

what good is a whore that won’t accept payment?

the curtain raises

the audience stares, watching an act that cuts through their very marrow: heartbreak at its purest, the desperation of wanting that which you cannot have and never will

“here,” john sneers, trying to pretend that his heart isn’t lying at roger’s feet, shattered, throwing the money at roger. “i’ve paid my bill.”

staring at the Duke, he announces his win. “you can have your whore, my lord.”

he walks away, head bowed and heart breaking

roger, on the ground, weeps

what good is a life of misery?

“come what may,” he whispers, trying to comfort him with the knowledge that once, he was loved. “i will love you. come what may.”

in that moment, he decides

better to love than to never love again

standing on shaky feet, he belts with all his heart, “listen to my heart, can you hear it sing? come back to me and forgive everything! seasons may change, winter to spring, but i’ll love you until my dying day!”

john knows, he knows it like he knows the beat of his own heart, that this is the moment

roger is choosing him

he runs to him, leaps back onto the stage, and together they sing their love song, preform for the whole world that they love each other, come what may

the Duke, enraged, steals a gun from his bodyguard and tries to shoot john, vowing that if he can’t have roger, no one will

miami, in a fit of rage, punches him out, kicking the gun from his hand and saving the two lovers

triumphant, they finish the show, confessing their love and bringing the house down

the audience explodes into a sea of applause, roger and john standing together before them all, in love, together, and free

and then they hear it: clare, screaming for roger

the Duke has recovered from his blow, and has grabbed clare, a gun to her head

he’ll leave, he’ll let her go, if roger comes with him

roger swears to be his, and clare will live

there is no choice, no other option

terrified, roger promises, yes, yes, he’ll go with him, he promises, just let clare go, please, not clare, he’ll do anything--

john is begging, terrified that he will lose roger again

(like jfc did we not just fix this issue? he thinks in the back of his mind, clutching onto roger as though he’ll vanish if he lets go)

meanwhile, roger is doing his best to seduce the Duke, assuring him that his heart will belong to him and only him, when, from behind, arrives freddie and the red special in hand

freddie swings, the Duke crumples, and roger pulls clare to safety, clutching onto her as they scamper back to john’s side, shaking and terrified

(MY GUITAR! brian wails, watching the whole thing in horror)

(soz brian but i ain’t killing anyone in this fic but its moulin rogue so SOMETHING has to die)

they stand there, holding each other, all alive and fine, safe from the Duke

flash back to present day

the Duke sued miami and won the moulin rogue, which he closes down

everyones sad for a hot minute until they realize that bohemian rhapsody is a fucking international hit

the whole crew goes on tour, preforming their show for the world to see

roger becomes a famous actor, john a famous play-write, brian a famous guitarist (they fix the red special) and freddie a famous singer

roger and john live together happily ever after, all their dreams come true

EL FIN

so yeah, if you read through this all god bless y’all deserve an award

(NICOLE KIDMAN WAS ROBBED OF HER OSCAR, AND SO WAS EWAN MCGREGOR THIS WAS THEIR BEST ROLES EVER OKAY JUST WATCH COME WHAT MAY REPRISE AND DON’T TELL ME THEY DESERVE ALL THE AWARDS BECAUSE GOOD GOD DAMN I CRY EVERYTIME)

Not a single day goes by where I don’t text lo and try to convince her on the beauty that would be a moulin rogue joger fic

#i love la boheme okay but there are no deaths in this house #although i will say just the image of john holding roger's lifeless body #sobbing over it as the curtain falls #the true orpheus to roger's eurydice #a remind that there is no real happy ending in a life ruled by love and lust where you see your body to live #where the love roger has for john and clare is worth more to him than his own life #god #i'm emo now #also this is the third time ive watched moulin rogue in three days because im single lonely and yesterday i was hungover so DON'T JUDGE ME #moulin rogue fic #joger #caro writes

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