#infodumping about something that was truly formative to me as a child what's good

[eugeniedanglars]

the cool thing about this being my blog is that if i want to write a literal essay recapping an album that exactly one of my followers (my sister) has ever heard i can just. do that

i talked about this a few days ago but seriously, the man from god knows where by tom russell is such a good goddamn album. it's a concept album chronicling his own ancestry--specifically following four key immigrant families, the russells and malloys from ireland and the larsens and olsens from norway--as part of the wider picture of immigration and westward expansion in the united states. it was released in the 90s, so if you do choose to listen to it don't expect it to be perfectly woke or up to date, but this album's general political sympathies are made pretty clear by the lyrics "oh beautiful for spacious skies and amber waves of grain / grain distilled to make the rye that pickled old tom paine / old georgie built the white house with slaves that died in pain."

that being said, i won't pretend everything about it aged well, especially regarding its depiction of native americans; tom russell's fascination with native american cultures and sympathy for their oppression is a common theme across a lot of his music, and he does devote several songs (primarily "the man from god knows where pt. 3" and "sitting bull in venice") to the fact that the entire story of this album is playing out on stolen land, but the way he does it comes across as pretty stereotypical and patronizing, at least to me, a white woman. i think, since the songs are specifically about sitting bull performing in bill cody's wild west show in europe, he's trying to be ironic and contrast the stereotypical native character that sitting bull would have played in the show versus the horror and grief he must have felt at watching his culture and home be destroyed by invaders, as well as play with the irony of exporting native americans and their culture to europe as entertainment while the real thing is wiped out by european colonizers, but he doesn't do a great job of parsing out the stereotypes from reality imo. it's a theme that could have used a lot more room to breathe on the album, preferably with input from an actual native american folk singer.

naturally, there are a whole host of content warnings, including but not limited to racism, ethnic cleansing, starvation, suicide, death of children, children being separated from their families, alcohol, slurs (though all used in an overtly sympathetic/satirical way mocking injustice and prejudice), gambling, incarceration, and basically anything you would expect from mid-1800s to mid-1900s america. it's also long as fuck: 26 tracks, 1 hour and 14 minutes. in short, while i adore this album, don't say i didn't warn you if it does something you don't like.

musically, the album is simply stunning. it's this gorgeous, lush blend of american, irish, and scandinavian folk performed by a whole host of folk icons like iris dement and dave van ronk. there are leitmotifs and throughlines and callbacks throughout the album that weave its incredibly ambitious scope together into a cohesive tapestry. aside from that, tom russell just has one of the most beautiful voices i've ever heard, plain and simple. (in fact, he got his big break when he was a cab driver and picked up the manager of the grateful dead on the way to a show. they were looking for an opener, tom russell told the guy he was a musician and sang him some of his music, and he opened for the band that very night.) a truly staggering amount of my musical taste and general personhood can be traced back to the fact that my mother heard a radio interview with tom russell and, after hearing him sing "rider on an orphan train" from this album, immediately called my dad bawling her eyes out and insisting that they had to buy this guy's music.

the album opens with the title track (part one of four), wherein the titular man from god knows where introduces himself as an ageless revenant roaming the earth, and calls upon the spirits of the dead to rise from their graves and tell him their stories so that the past won't be forgotten. the wayfaring stranger (iris dement singing just the first verse of the 1917 song "wayfaring stranger") explains the immigrants' unifying belief that america offered greater opportunity than existed in their homelands: "i am a poor wayfaring stranger / traveling through this world of woe / there's no sickness, toil, or danger / in that bright land to which i go." with this, the spirits obey and begin telling their stories. some of their songs are straightforward autobiographies ("patrick russell", "mary clare malloy (american wake)", "ambrose larsen"), while others are more broad and speak for whole groups of people.

this is where we get to "the outcast," which gets its own beat-by-beat analysis because 1. it was my favorite song as a child and whenever i told people this they thought i meant "hey ya" by outkast and 2. the fact that it was my favorite song as a child explains just... so much about me. so this song, performed by leftist folk icon dave van ronk, portrays the character of the outcast like a carnival barker luring people into a freakshow, shocking the audience by proclaiming that "your promised land was settled by bastards, drunks, and thieves," only to reassure them that he is "the worst of all of these" as the outcast. the first verse seems light and humorous, a joking tribute to the people cut out of the family tree for being embarrassing and abnormal (i.e., disabled or queer).

with the second verse, however, he brings up another type of outcast: the marginalized people who did much of the invisible work building this country. this is what i meant about slurs being used in a sympathetic and satirical way--the outcast is a personification of all oppressed communities, and he sarcastically refers to himself by all the slurs that are hurled at him while he carries society on his back. he's the chinese immigrant who built the railroads, he's the enslaved black man who picked the crops that built the american economy, he's the native american who was forced off the land that now houses and feeds us.

the third verse expands its scope even further to the systemic, inescapable nature of ethnic prejudice: every ingroup has an outgroup that they hate and degrade, no matter how outwardly similar they appear, and that aspect of human nature is not diluted on a country-wide scale but rather amplified. he mocks politicians and founding fathers, making it clear that he was not actually joking about them being "bastards, drunks, and thieves" (here's where the line about george washington building the white house with slaves that died in pain comes in!), and wryly observes that newcomers to the united states have no idea they're signing up to be the crabs at the bottom of the bucket. ultimately, the song functions as an absolutely scathing indictment of the united states as a nation built on hatred and brutal oppression, from the microcosmic (ostracizing family members for not fitting into the mold) to the systemic (slavery, racism, exploitation of marginalized labor, the perpetual othering of whoever the newest minority is).

that was my favorite song when i was in fourth grade. and now you probably understand everything about me.

anyway, the album continues, painting a picture of the lives of these immigrants and the struggles they face: alcohol, lust, homesickness, crop failures, the loss of children to death or poverty. "rider on an orphan train" is an utter heartbreaker, the story of one of anna olsen's children who, along with his older brother james, ran away from home and ended up in an orphanage. james and the narrator are split up in the adoption process. they never see each other again.

eventually the album arrives in the twentieth century and finishes its westward journey in los angeles, tracing the families we've been following down to tom russell's parents, charlie russell and marjorie malloy. charlie is a fascinating and complex character: he's a slick, charismatic, ambitious charmer who works his way up to a wealthy and comfortable life in hollywood, he's a devoted family man who adores marjorie and wants nothing more than to give her everything she deserves, he's a thief and a gambling addict who ultimately costs his family everything, he's an eternal optimist and a hero to his children, he's a has-been blowhard rambling about his glory days to an audience that's no longer listening. "chicksaw county jail" and "throwin' horseshoes at the moon" are two different perspectives on charlie russell's tumultuous life, the former from his own perspective and the latter from tom's. as an adult looking back on his childhood, tom neither idealizes his father nor condemns him, instead treating him with sympathy and nuance that's often hard to achieve when seeking to understand our parents.

having run out of ancestors' stories to hear, the man from god knows where condemns "the lies that i've been told" before turning to the audience and beseeching them to share their own pasts. a calmer, more reflective version of the outcast returns to muse on postwar american society, homogeneity, and the loss of ancestral cultures. the wayfaring stranger returns to sing the second verse of her song, now settled in her new land but wistful about the one she left: "i'm going there to see my father / i'm going there, no more to roam / i am going over jordan / i am going over home."

the album draws to a gentle finish with "love abides," which ponders whether illuminating the past helps us understand our present and navigate the future. ultimately, it concludes, we may be navigating life alone in the dark, but we can persist as long as we have love and hope.

that's the man from god knows where. it was the soundtrack to my childhood. i just spent several hours writing 1700+ words recapping it for an audience of zero. i'm not a music critic or a historian, but i'm someone who was shaped by this album, and i wanted to put all my love and appreciation for it somewhere other people could see. i don't expect anyone to read this or listen to the album. just having this post exist is enough.

[silvermoon424]

Eternal Erina

Left by @chommission, right by @linyu3u

An anon innocently asked me to talk about my OC Erina's final form, Eternal Erina. Unfortunately, it's impossible to actually explain her deal without also explaining the story of my story/paracosm. Which is, uh, LONG AND COMPLICATED.

For anyone who doesn't want to read the massive incoming infodump, the main plot of my story/paracosm revolves around Erina and her journey from a frightened, troubled child into the savior of her people (mages, aka magical girls and magical boys). That involves becoming a goddess, a concept, and a universal force. So like Ultimate Madoka, basically. If the design didn’t tip you off, my story is HEAVILY inspired by PMMM, lol. 

The details are hidden under this Read More. If you end up reading it, I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts!!

Order and Chaos

So basically, magic and life (especially sapient life) is governed by the Rule of Cycles, a mostly benevolent being/law of nature. It is opposed by Chaos, who governs black/chaos magic but cannot create true life, only shadows of itself or People of the Cycle that have been corrupted. Chaos hates RoC because it's envious of RoC's creativity and ability to create life, not to mention that Chaos used to be a part of RoC at the beginning of the universe and wants to once again be one with everything. 

Mages have existed for billions of years, all across the universe. Where there is sapient life, there is magic. Mages are born when they resonate with the Rule of Cycles and are granted a wish/miracle. But if they fall into despair or fail to replenish their magic they will become Wraiths, beings of Chaos (again, like magical girls and Witches from PMMM).

Also, if you couldn't tell by the names, the Rule of Cycles and Chaos are basically Order vs Chaos personified. This is inspired by the Stars arc of Sailor Moon and the ultimate villain Chaos.

Also, RoC and Chaos can't fight directly without damaging the fabric of the universe and/or causing mass destruction, so they manipulate beings and create proxies to fight a proxy war. Erina, my main OC, is the RoC's chosen champion and can tap into it directly. Chaos doesn't have a champion (yet) and mostly just sends out powerful extensions of itself, although it does also have corrupted People of the Cycle at its beck and call.

Also, in my paracosm, the RoC was created by an even greater being that created the multiverse who's since basically fucked off and doesn't intervene at all. Soon after the creation of the universe, billions of years ago, Chaos split off from the RoC and they've opposed each other ever since.

The Philosophy of the Cycle and Unnecessary Suffering

However, even though the Rule of Cycles and Chaos are opposed, they are inextricably bound together. Just like as the darkness needs the light to create shadows, the light also needs the darkness to shine more brightly. 

In other words, without evil, we couldn’t truly comprehend good. Without sorrow in the world, there would be no compassion. If we never lost anything, we would never truly appreciate what we have. And so on. The Philosophy of the Cycle- the path that mages spend years walking- is making peace with the fact that sorrow/evil/suffering will not only always exist, but is in fact vital to the very foundation of the universe. 

With all that said, even though suffering and sorrow are inevitable, we must try to diminish it in any way we can. Making peace with the foundations of the universe does not mean totally accepting it the way it is and sitting by passively while bad things happen. Because not all suffering-or even most suffering, one could argue- is inevitable. A lot of suffering is due to unjust systems, systems that need to be torn down and replaced with something better. 

You know, unjust systems like the current mage system.

In my story, being a mage isn’t an immediate death sentence like in PMMM; many mages go on to live full adult lives. However, the death/corruption rate is still around 1/3 to 1/2 of all mages. So even if you don’t succumb to Chaos yourself, you are essentially guaranteed to know and love someone who will or already has.  

I haven’t sat down and figured out how the mage-Wraith system came about; all I know is that it wasn’t always there and is the result of  tampering. It’s been in place so long that there are only a scant few records talking about the before times, but there is evidence it didn’t always exist.

Also, Wraiths aren’t the only Chaos Beings around; mages also fight Demons. Unlike Wraiths, they are mere extensions and creations of Chaos and did not used to be sapient. There are enough Demons around to support the mage population’s need for purification, once again proving that Wraiths are unnecessary and cruel.  

 Some cycles need to be broken. Enter Daenerys.

The Oracle

Daenerys aka Dany (yes, named after that Daenerys!) comes from a noble family of oracles who once reigned as the monarchs of a country of mages before it was destroyed. Dany is the most talented far-seer ever born and, after seeing a vision of Erina as a goddess whose ascension broke the cycle that turns mages into monsters, has dedicated her life to ensuring that future becomes reality. Even the wish that turned her into a magical girl was in service of her goals: she wished to be the fount from which a true hero would be born.

(idk where else to put this, but another major plotline of my story is a government conspiracy. Countless children with psychic powers and/or the potential to become mages were kidnapped and raised in a top-secret research facility. Dany was one of the first victims of this program due to precognition being a very rare ability. Dany (not a mage yet) was deep in despair when she had her vision about Erina. It gave her a reason to live and keep going, which is why she’s so dedicated to Erina and her mission)

Twisting and weaving the threads of fate, Dany carefully manipulates things to ensure the future she saw. She does whatever she can to add onto Erina’s karma (which, like in PMMM, determines how powerful a mage is). Dany also became a mage years before Erina, so a lot of this happened when Erina was still completely ignorant of what fate had in store for her.

Erina’s Entrance

I truly cannot give as much background as I want on Erina herself because this is so fucking long already lol, but I’ll give the main points of her background:

Her mother died about a year after giving birth to her, and she was then raised by her grandmother until she was 5. After her grandmother suddenly died, she was put into the foster care system.

The main story starts when Erina is 12. I’m literally not even gonna try explaining all that goes on lol, but the important thing is that she comes under the care of a young man named Eric who becomes her adoptive father.

Again, due to reasons I won’t get into now, Erina was nearly driven to suicide due to despair (she has C-PTSD and was at a point where she thought the future was bleak). The love and care Eric showed her gave her hope and made her want to keep going, and she is left with the strong desire to inspire hope in others the way he did in her.

Flash forward a bit and Erina becomes a magical girl, using her wish to save Eric’s life in a dangerous situation. She immediately and wholeheartedly embraces her role as a magical girl, seeing it as a way to help others and inspire hope like she so dearly wants to.

Erina finds herself in a found family with fellow mages Luna, Rhae, Iris, and Flora (the other main OCs of my story). She also formally meets Dany and becomes close with her. She also becomes friends with lots of other people (including many mages) and has a lot of fun experiences.

Doppelgangers: The Other “Me”

It’s soon revealed that Erina’s magic has created a purifying barrier around the city she and her friends live in; instead of becoming Wraiths, mages who exhaust their magic will instead summon Doppelgangers (YES I LOVE MAGIA RECORD AND IT’S OBVIOUS). I’ll try to explain the Doppelgangers and their relationship to the overall lore:

Doppelgangers are actually symbiotic organisms from another dimension that attach onto the souls of sapient beings because they themselves lack souls as well as self-awareness and consciousnesses (although they do have intelligence).

Doppelgangers are normally benign, but they respond to their hosts' emotions and can turn into Wraiths if overcome with despair. Again, this did not always used to be the case. It’s implied that Erina’s magic is shielding the city from the effects of Chaos, and therefore Doppelgangers cannot be corrupted.

All People of the Cycle (intelligent life) have Doppelgangers, but only mages have the power to manifest them in our dimension.

Doppelgangers are also manifestations of the host's soul. As such, the host might be self-conscious of their Doppelgangers or outright reject it if they don't like what they see. In turn, the Doppelganger might keep trying to force its user to confront their own demons or flaws in an attempt to help them (basically, sometimes a Doppelganger can be a really intense therapy session lol). 

A Doppelganger is a reflection of its user, and accepting one's Doppel is an act of self-love and self-acceptance. Doppelgangers themselves LOVE their hosts and are unquestioningly loyal to them. However, more than the host’s words, the Doppelganger obeys their heart.

If the host rejects their Doppelganger, the Doppelganger will still come out in the automatic purification field. The mage just won't be able to control it. Outside of the city, they'll turn into a Wraith unless they come to terms with the Doppel and are able to summon it. 

Dany hopes to expand the purification barrier across the entire universe. She plans on doing this by having Erina resonate with the Rule of Cycles once again and be granted a second wish.

The vast majority of mages are only given one miracle. However, mages who have accumulated exceptional amounts of karma and are judged to be worthy are capable of being granted a second wish. This is why Dany has been working so hard to build up Erina’s karma. To help her with this goal, Dany creates a group called the Weavers of Fate.

Oh... It’s a Cult

Yep, the Weavers of Fate are pretty much a mage-based cult based on their belief in Dany’s visions and Erina’s future as a goddess. But can you blame them for latching onto hope when their fate is so dicey? Dozens (and later thousands) of mages work to assist Dany in her goals.

The Weavers of Fate embrace and revere Erina as their messiah, sometimes making her uncomfortable because she just wants to live a normal life with her loved ones. But as the story goes on, Erina becomes more and more convinced that she needs to embrace the role if it means saving her fellow mages.

Side note: at a certain point in the timeline, the existence of mages becomes public knowledge. There’s a lot of sociopolitical drama that I won’t get into here.

Dany’s Changing Priorities

A few years into the timeline (after a LOT of things happen that aren’t relevant to this writeup), Erina shockingly and unexpectedly dies in a climatic battle against Chaos. Dany is utterly devastated and, in her grief, resonates with the Rule of Cycles and makes a second wish (by this point, Dany has wracked up TONS of karma herself). She wishes for a chance to redo things, and is given the ability to go back in time. She can only go back in time at the static rate of a few months, but this gives her enough time to plan ahead for the climatic battle.

Well, long story short, Dany goes through several time loops, failing each one, and gets more and more traumatized each time. Yes, she’s literally Homura but better off in a few ways. Anyway, Dany learns that Erina’s ascension to godhood is not guaranteed; with the more karma she accumulates, she is more and more likely to become a Wraith. And not just any Wraith, a Wraith that could easily destroy the entire world (and later, even the galaxy).

After years of single-mindedly pursuing her goal, Dany decides that all she wants to do now is protect Erina and her other friends. She’s done with being a pawn for cosmic forces greater than her. She feels immense guilt for putting Erina on a pedestal and putting her through all this, as she now deeply loves and cherishes Erina as a friend... or maybe something more than a friend.

Except oops, she’s already done so much at this point that she’s completely screwed over the chances of them all having a normal life. With every reset, things just get worse. But she refuses to give up, continuing to hold out hope even in the face of overwhelming odds.

How It All Ends

Dany finally reveals everything to Erina, expressing her regret and asking for Erina’s forgiveness. Erina says there’s nothing to forgive, as she wouldn’t change the life she’s lived and the experiences she’s had for anything.

The climatic final battle begins. Wraiths from all over the world descend on the city where the story takes place, overriding the purification barrier and causing mass death and havoc. Erina is forced to sit it out due to the dangers of her dying or becoming a world-destroying Wraith, like Dany has seen happen so many times. A lot of the main characters die fighting, and Erina is left devastated.

Despite all that, Erina affirms her belief in hope and her desire to give it to mages- her people. The way she sees it, mages are being punished for believing in hope and wanting a better life, and that is unacceptable. She remembers a dear friend who became a Wraith, along with all of the other people she’s known and cared about who suffered the same fate.

She knows what she has to do.

She has an emotional conversation with Eric, her adoptive father, and thanks him for setting her down this road. Despite his pain and reluctance to let her go, he gives her his blessing. Erina says goodbye to her remaining friends and loved ones, thanking them for showing her how beautiful the world is. There are a lot of awful, terrible things in the world, but the good things it has to offer are enough to make it worth fighting for. Erina knows this better than anyone.

Resonating with the Rule of Cycles once more, Erina makes her second wish: To have the power to grant the promise of “tomorrow” to mages. She ascends to godhood, and the purification barrier becomes a universal law of nature (much like Ultimate Madoka). Unlike Madoka, however, everyone remembers Erina and knows about her sacrifice.

Time restructures itself, and because the Wraiths that killed everyone no longer exist, the people who died in the final battle are resurrected. Erina’s friends and family- ESPECIALLY Dany, who is absolutely guilt-ridden- deeply mourn her loss, but vow to keep protecting the world she loved and cared so much about.

🩷 The End 🩷

I Lied, There’s More

Okay, so that’s the ending of the main paracosm. However, there’s a sequel! I have not spent nearly as much time on this as the main story so a lot is very sketchy. I’m just gonna list out my main ideas:

A little while after the ending of the main story, an alien union/federation/whatever makes first contact with Earth; they were also saved by Erina's actions and want to return the favor by helping humanity out.

Stuff Happens but I don’t know exactly what yet lol. I do know there’s a lot of space battles because that’s just cool.

Erina eventually comes back into her physical form because Dany is in danger (I imagine it's a situation similar to Rebellion; I haven't hammered out the details yet though). There are also Chaos machinations, which could be catastrophic for the universe.

She manages to save Dany and also connects with Chaos itself, making it realize it needs to chill out. Like it can still be Chaos but not so extra.

Erina with her loved ones, also getting to meet the new characters. She is sad about needing to leave them again, but knows her duty is more important.

However, the Rule of Cycles is very grateful for all of Erina’s help; after all, she ended Wraiths and managed to get Chaos to calm down just a bit. The RoC asks Erina if she wants to live out the rest of her natural lifespan in the mortal world. She says yes, because there's nothing she wants to do more than live her life with her friends and family, in the world she loves so much.

I imagine the system her wish made is still in place because, like Madokami, she's both Erina the individual and Erina the force of nature. It’s not great to have Erina the individual missing, but since it’ll only be for a few decades the universe can cope.

In the ACTUAL, FINAL ending, Erina becomes a teacher for young mages. Erina, Dany, and Iris (a main character whose relationship with Erina is also a major theme) officially become a polycule. LOVE FUCKING WINS!

If you made it this far: THANK YOU FOR READING MY STORY, both the story itself and your interest mean more to me than anything!!! 🩷🩷🩷

[aviivix]

Welcome to some weird Jevil concepts

Many of these are based on incorrect assumptions that I decided I liked. My brain is open source, if you wanna steal these ideas, go for it.

More doodles and infodump below the break!

Main thing: That’s a mask, not his actual face. This stemmed from his face reminding me of things like the drama masks and Phanto from Mario 2, and the fact that I sorta mistook some of the mouth pixels for a crack in his face in his dancing animation.

Immediately after that, I thought that it’d be hilarious if under the mask was just, void, with eyes and teeth hangin’ out in there, almost like what you’d see when taking apart a 3D model. There’s no real reason for this besides I tried it once and it looked just goofy enough for me to like it.

The mask has some chaotic magic imbued in it from being worn by such a chaotic creature and being exposed to so much chaotic magic, enough to start messing with folks who wear it for too long. Of course, since that chaotic magic comes from Jevil, he’s unaffected by the mask’s effects. (It’s Jevil that makes the mask chaotic, not the mask that makes Jevil chaotic.)

He really wouldn’t be without his mask often though. After all that face is probably pretty scary to folks, and what kind of a jester would he be if he were making people scared instead of making them laugh? He might’ve been more willing to remove it before he went insane, but at this point, the act and the game stuff is basically his life, so he’s practically glued to that thing.

This is just a personal design thing I like to do with it, but I also have it so the eyes and mouth can’t fully close, and he’s only got that top row of teeth. (Though since the eyes can often have nothing in them, they can easily appear to be fully closed.) Some of these doodles may break this though since I didn’t always maintain this idea.

Next, he’s made of fabric just like Seam! Not sure which fabric exactly, but he’s comparable to those fabric jack-in-the-box jesters, with the spring his head is on coiled in the main body. He’s totally hollow, holding his shape with magic. This also means he could commit pile of dirty laundry if he felt like it, or if he somehow ran out of magic.

This also is meant to go with him mentioning “they craved to imprison my body” and “This body cannot be killed!” His body isn’t truly him exactly, as the ethereal presence in the void on his face is truly what makes him up. Alongside that, the fabric is just that - fabric. It can’t be killed because it was never alive, he could just repair it with magic if something ever got damaged. (Or ask Seam to do it, heh)

Also his chaos crime was yeeting Lancer off a cliff. He probably caused a bunch of chaotic problems, but the Chaos King of Spades thought it was too funny to stop - until he just YEETED Lancer and then all bets were off. (This is also how King learns of Lancer’s bounciness - not through child abuse)

Speaking of the chaos stuff, I don’t have a lot interesting to say about his chaos magic. I mostly play it straight, where his magic is very Discord (MLP) esque. I find it more fun to take the “I can do anything” literally, making him a chaos god archetype, able to teleport, apparate random props, mess with his own body (and I suppose others too, but it’s mostly him doing it to himself), mess with the weather, basically anything he thinks is suitably funny or wild.

In the current, I like to have it so he pops up out of his scythe form every now and again. I don’t personally like how quiet he goes in Chapter 2, though I get why. I just sorta wish he popped out and caused issues or funny scenes.

Anyway if you’ve made it this far, thank you for indulging my strange headcanons. Beyond here, my HCs are more shallow and these are just some particularly good or funny doodles I’ve done over the past however long.

Such as, Jevil obviously being not on the best terms with Spamton... (I also am not super consistent with their sizes)

Not ready to consider Gaster as the one who corrupted Jevil, and the crack on his face has nothing to do with Gaster, but someone pointed out their faces looking similar and it made me mad enough to do a side by side lmao

Anyone can wear Jevil’s mask so long as they can fit it on their face. Including Lancer. Especially Lancer.

His eyes and teeth just sorta float in the void, so I like to think you could shake him up and turn his face into alphabet soup.

Young Jevil and Seam bein’ buds

Another Discord Jevil doodle I did as part of a larger comic that I’m not happy enough with to post here. I liked this frame though.

And another Discord Jevil

jevil makes sweet sundae ramen on /ck/

The amount of maskless Jevil pics I have where the thesis is just “please return the stolen property”

[saltyladynightmare]

Your Jiliu Au, you should totally start a fic on AO3 for it. Also, when does it take place? You mentioned it's Jedi critical. How critical are we talking and do the Jedi get better? Why do you consider the fic Jedi critical? You have me intrigued and I feel there are a lot of details in the two pieces you've shared that I'm not quite understanding. So feel free to splurge a little and hit me with an infodump on it.

This takes place in an Alternate Universe, about four an a half months into the Clone Wars. The Cannon Divergence began shortly after Anakin turned 13 years old (or so I'm claiming. I don't actually know very much about Anakin's apprenticeship...yeah. 13.) Why 13? It's very simple.

Anakin needs literal years of therapy for his literal years of mental, emotional, and physical abuse as a slave on Tatooine. 13 is about a year after Anakin apparently started getting to know Palpatine. I am going with the version of Cannon where Palpatine threatened Mace Windu if he didn't allow Palps access to kid! Anakin. At 12, I figure Anakin would be a ball of trauma, poorly bottled emotions, and several tangled knots of low self-esteem. A year gives Palps plenty of time to work. A year gives the Force enough time to get angry that it's literal child is being manipulated, and his guardians aren't even trying to help him. What do I mean by that?

Before I answer, I need to make somethings clear.

I like the Jedi. As individuals. I love a well written Mace Windu. Or even an okay written Windu. Yoda is a troll with a sense of humor I can get behind. Plo Koon. 'Nouph said. Obi-Wan Kenobi. Beautifully flawed human being that he is, he is, to a certain extent, very easy to write.

The Jedi culture has an unparalleled potential to be one of the most diverse, and wide spread found-family known to Science Fiction, if not The Most. What with how they accept members regardless of species, background, or talent. The only real requirement is that they must be Force Sensitive. Which just makes sense, really, given they are an order of Force Sensitives. I will not be trying to drag that through the mud, because a good chunk of it is...nice.

This fic is going to be exclusively through the perspective of Anakin, and his men. Anakin, in this fic, has spent the last decade getting all of the Jedi's worst traits dumped on top of him with very little help from within the Order. He has seen the good, but very rarely turned toward him...and that came from two people. Obi-Wan, whom I will be *hurting*, and Aayla, whom I love and who is much more observant and compassionate them she really has any right to be, given what I will be doing to her. The 501st, who will be having a rough four months in the War before meeting Anakin, and a rough...ten years or less before even that (Seriously, Rex's past will make you *feel* things if I have anything to say about it) are going to be insanely protective of Anakin. So all they are going to see is how they treat him, and hate it.

And, as the last thing for this list that I can think of for this moment, the point of this fic, is not to be Jedi Critical. I wanted a fic where Anakin was forced to be self sufficient, was forced to mature, had to be more then he was, or die. Only, I didn’t actually want that; I wanted to see what this new and improved Anakin would do. Forget the Growth, I wanted to see the results. A side effect of this is that it is Jedi Critical, because there is no way Anakin ‘I want to free all the slaves’ Skywalker was ever going to be truly happy as a Jedi ‘everything you do reflects on us, we are peace keepers’ Knight. Slave stealing is a very good way to make the Huts angry. Not exactly peaceful.

Will I be using things the Jedi messed up on to push Anakin more? Yes. Will I be doing it for the sole purpose of burning the Jedi at the stake? No. That is a waste of resources, and I am not in the business of such foolishness. Besides. People are rarely so simple.

Beyond that, I cannot get enough of the Overprotective Clones tag. Or the BAMF Clones tag. Except most of that seemed to focus on Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka, and the 212th, which, okay, but I want Anakin to be taken care of too. You can’t tell me that right there wouldn’t have helped...something. Clone piles, for the win. The closest one I could find was Soft Wars on ao3, but that was Anakin getting adopted as a kid, not as a brother, which is what I want. Also, I’ve been waiting for the fourth book in The Making of a Man for over a year now, and I’m salty. (by Project0506, Behold. a Gentle Man, excellent Kix & Anakin interaction, I strive to be so amazing, it is beautiful)

As for details that you may or may not be catching, well. You will have to be more specific because I know things that Kix and Anakin do not, and so it was written around. ;) All will become less foggy in due time.

Also I need questions, or I have no idea what you’re taking about, because I finished writing this stuff days and/or weeks ago, and have since moved on. On top of that, I have things I want to be a surprise (what is one thing that is a rarity for Anakin to do? This Anakin will be doing it.), or have made changes to my Universe so ‘long’ ago that it is now normal to the character and thus not something to spend more then a sentence on (tell me, do you know Anakin’s saber form? It’s good.)

Truly,

Salty Lady Nightmare

[sanguinarius-archive]

im not that familiar with treatsforbeats i watched like. a few videos but other than that i know nothing! but i would be glad to hear you info dump!

there is SO MUCH..... im gonna put a read more below because this turned out to be way longer than i expected. but you asked for me to infodump so here goes

okay so. treatsforbeasts, i dont know what the whole meaning behind the channel is. i cant specifically say what the goal of the channel’s content is because its all in my interpretation. but i do know that there are meanings behind each video as silly as it may seem and im just gonna list them off here (note that not all videos will be included since i may not be able to interpret every one, also this is going from earliest to most recent)

1. men with small hands carry very little treats to give to little girls with the sharpest little teethinterpretation of this video is csa/child sex trafficking. “little treats” refers to pills or some form of drug (small, makes u trip). however the “sharpest little teeth” could represent the little girl fighting back.

2. mom ordered ants for my birthdaychild abuse. mother forces son to watch and/or possibly engage in inappropriate activity with her husband.

3. i love jesusobviously a dark parody of christianity/catholicism. shows how blindly some fanatical christians/catholics will follow their beliefs, to the point where they no longer truly “follow” it as theyve warped the message to fit their own morbid desires (using christianity/the bible to excuse hatred and judgment upon others).

4. i me you love godanother dark parody of christianity/catholicism. i believe it mocks how fanatical christians/catholics focus only on the negative aspects of the bible instead of learning the true messages, as many of the words used are from the bible and are negative words.

5. behdsPROBABLY just a silly video but, i think it represents how people let negativity embed itself into their lives and complain about it even though it’s so easy to just let go of it.

6. jaffreymocking some sitcoms for how dumb and repetitive they can be.

7. kiss papa’s mustachepossibly child abuse, again.

8. storytimereferences/implies child abuse. storytime is also the name of one of treatsforbeasts’ songs on his Sanguinarius - Sin Nomine album.

9. hymns for him (1 + 2)just total parody albums of christian rock. vocals make you feel like youre dying but its actually kinda good to listen to in some parts

10. i screaming inside my headRoii (the character)’s first appearance. also probably symbolizes how depressing some kinds of music are

11. felines have nine livesnot sure but i feel like this is a warrior cats reference, in complete and total honesty (dont watch it if you dont like c/at d/eath though, its fictional but. yeah)

12. beastsreflection of society as a whole

then there’s. the two short films and sin nomine. so i’m gonna delve into that now and be warned, it’s fuckin long

treatsforbeasts is the self-titled short film and the first longest video on the treatsforbeasts channel. basically what i get from this is that treatsforbeasts, the channel itself, symbolizes an actual channel that chauncy (the child character in the short film, who is portrayed as a literal oral fleshlight with a body) watches. he consumes these concepts, such as internalizing misogyny (claw-paw skit), toxic masculinity (can i like balloons skit) and being exposed to a normalization of christianity (heaven and hell skit). there’s also a skit in which a spider binge eats and then proceeds to throw it up, which chauncy actually mimicks when his father brings him food.his father very much disapproves of these messages being shown on tv. he tells chauncy in regards to the claw-paw skit, when chauncy belittles the female character, “that’s not very nice, now is it”, and says “you can like ballons, you can love balloons if you want to”. his father goes on long tangents about how many institutions have normalized and inherited the concepts of christianity, and that it is one of the contributing factors of violence in the world. he references colonization, the holocaust, and in general mentions minorities.we learn that the father actually ended up being a father to chauncy in the first place due to (nsfw tw) masturbating in a sock to a picture of robert smith, and 9 months later chauncy was born. so technically there is no mother. the father talks about the meaning of life, and how everyone on the inside is a little bit of a freak, but there’s only two real ways you can accept that: 1) realize that your freakishness gives you a special lense through with you see the world and aid it in the ways the sane and happy ones probably cant, and 2) realize that real way number 1 is just lying to itself and that youre still a somewhat integral part of the lives of those you care for so deeply. he says that choosing which way to live really reverts back to the meaning of life, that you cannot live day by day believing there’s no reason to. “but whatever reason you give yourself to live, [...] you do it, because it is correct to live.”

sin nomine comes after the first short film, but i’ll delve into that after because really it touches on many many of the points and interpretations here.

the second short film, the beast is dead, was released just this year on valentines day! i think the main focus of the short film ranges from relationships to just once again a mockery of christianity/catholicism. once again it starts off with a father and his son. there is no mother figure present though she’s said to have left, due to the father watching too much “birdies”, a show, which i think is a metaphor for porn addiction. the father is implied to being prone to neglecting the son’s wants and not really caring for him, being disappointed in him, etc. etc..something important about the beast is dead is that it uses masks to portray those who are “followers” and those who are not. the father, interestingly enough, does not wear a mask. he seems to acknowledge what his son is saying when he goes on philosophical rants as well, but disregards them as nonsense and ends up leaving after bonking him with the stupid spike (metaphor for how parents will shut their children up by giving them a phone or toy to play with).the three other characters who don’t use masks in the beast is dead are Roii, Tom, and Doctor Zoughth (pronounced Zoth). Roii makes a comeback, finally! but this time he’s singing a song called “i love the sound of screaming babies”. it symbolizes how men will impregnate women and then run off, whether or not because they fantasize about pregnant women. it could also be a want of seeing a hurt child (hence the line “i know that all of you watching must think i’m insane, for loving when something so innocent is in so much pain”).however another interesting factor is that, the characters who don’t have masks, aside from Tom and the father, have red eyes at some point. this is a metaphor for how they’ve lost their humanity. Roii, at some point in the music video scene, only has one red eye whereas his other is normal. this hints at how part of him has lost his humanity while the other is still in tact.the other character that has red eyes is Dr Zoughth, but instead of him having only one red eye, both his eyes are red. this doesnt show until later though when he’s taken Tom away from the masked characters (followers). Dr Zoughth is very much self-aware. he is not blind, but simply has lost his humanity. Tom tries to reach out to him, to get him to think differently, that maybe resorting to coping with emotional struggles by worshipping something simple like flesh or something more higher than himself and forgetting his own mortality isn’t the healthiest way to live. but Dr Zoughth, having been long gone already, does not accept this and executes Tom.his own personal disciples grow tired of his tyranny and kill him and perform a ritual of some kind, disposing of his body (in the river i think, not sure). this entire ending of the film is basically the title, the beast is dead. but, i believe the beast is not dead, personally, because someone like Zoughth will always live on in other people, other beasts.there’s also a scene called grandma hespar and i think it implies how little people focus on sexual abuse towards men (when it’s from women).

anyways, with that being said, it’s time for sin nomine.

so now that i’ve explained pretty much all of treatsforbeasts to you, and whoever else is reading, it’s clear that the person behind this has issues with christianity (or catholicism), and child abuse. the person behind treatsforbeasts is Jordan Diniz, as he is also the person behind sanguinarius.

sin nomine is a very personal reflection of jordan’s life from what i gather. it depicts his struggles with how he views the world around him, whether that be due to personal experiences or not. at first i interpreted most of sin nomine to be the story of someone who is lgbt, but with jordan himself coming to me and telling me he is straight (POLITELY), it’s clear that is not the case.

so it most likely has to do with trauma. either religious or not, or both. it even says in the song storytime (remember i mentioned it earlier?), “fast hand, white hot trauma, reverberates inside the skull. innocence and intellect raped, reveals a view of a darker world. flesh on flesh, the bonds of affection - confused for the bonds of submission and fear. self-hatred and mistrust repel all beauty that comes near.” i don’t like to say that this solidifies a personal experience, but it’s highly possible.

a lot of sin nomine kind of goes over the same points in different ways, but it makes you think. i definitely feel like something happened to jordan at some point in his life but that is his story and it’s not my place to truly tell, since i don’t know him personally.

there’s also the other channel, adrianturcher. it has videos with seemingly no real purpose except for there being two videos with the same names of two songs on sin nomine, “nex memoria” and “a fetish for psychos”. nex memoria is just a compilation of clips that seem to symbolize the process of death (nex memoria is a latin phrase which very roughly translates to “memory’s death”). a fetish for psychos is a bunch of old clips from parties and shows that possibly jordan himself attended. they’re from 2002 judging by the date in the video. the lyrics in the song “a fetish for psychos” also seem to hint at these events, so it’s possibly that it’s like looking back on happy memories that make you feel sad instead or something. the song also might possibly reference a mother at the beginning.

sanguinarius also has its own channel simply called sanguinarius. there’s the music video for divine comedy (one of the songs on sin nomine) and a cover of because you’re young by david bowie, posted on his birthday a year after his death.

anyway, that’s. pretty much all i have to say. jordan diniz is a fuckin’ mastermind, he’s really good and cool and he’s very kind from my experience talking with him a couple times. he supports the gays as well!

sooooo, treatsforbeasts does have some very creepy/unsettling moments in its content but its EXTREMELY good and i recommend getting into it if you can. 100/10

[deep-nerd]

BRO I LOV YOUR OCS WHADDA HELL. CAN U TELL ME MORE ABOUT THOSE MAD LAD SIBS. SORRY IF YOUVE DONE IT B4 AND I MISSED THE POST

NAH NAH UR GOOD! I can totally like sit down and infodump! 

im gonna put this under a read more

also TLDR: Leelas is a punk ass bitch who i love 

To start im gonna begin with the world. You got Genesis (Heaven basically but not the Christian Heaven.) and Cesstation (Hell.) and then Gaia (Earth) 

My universe does have like biblical themes but i take the God and worshiping aspect out of it. Genesis and Cesstation are other dimensions with creatures that fit the descriptions of what humans call angels and demons. which they are right! They are Angels and Demons lmao. 

I have Genesis more fleshed out than Cesstation unfortunately. But anyhow! Genesis has a ruling class, basically the same status of what the people of Gaia refer to as God, a monarchy. They call the rulers Archangels! 

Now here is where Leelas and Jackson comes in. 

Leelas and Jackson are the sons of Gabriel Gustav and his wife (who i have not designed yet.. or named.) Gabriel was the current Archangel, raising Leelas, his first born child, to be the next archangel. Jackson had no problems with this, meaning they can dick around as much as they want! They were the clown of Genesis, always getting into trouble, getting Leelas into trouble, getting out of trouble with more shit, trying to get Leelas to also dick around and play, and they acted like this for y e a r s. 

And people loved them. Jackson would stroll into town, flirt with e v e r y o n e, steal some bread, nap, and get scolded by Gabriel... who only sighed and then laughed. Now even though Jackson was very uh lazy?? is that the right word? he was still very talented and well respected.

Leelas was a very tight screw since the responsibility of being the heir fell onto his shoulders, always studying, training, until Jackson would come in to the room and chuck a wet sponge at the back of his head. Like Jackson, the people also enjoyed having him around since he could be very philosophical. Jackson did comment that Leelas overthinks a lot. 

One day, Jackson threw another wet sponge at Leelas and convinced him to go to Gaia. A treat yourself day. 

So they went to Gaia. And ran into a woman named Anna. Only because Jackson noticed Leelas staring at her like a love struck idiot and they shoved him into her. 

He yelled, she yelled, Jackson laughed. Then got yelled at. 

however Leelas and Anna did keep in touch, eventually started dating, and three years later got married. 

Jackson Gustav, ultimate matchmaker. 

But Leelas brought Anna to Genesis and she met Gabriel. Who was like oh good one of my sons finally found someone. And they lived happily ever after.

BITCH YOU THOUGHT AH HA!

But Anna got very sick one day and Leelas tried everything in his power to try and cureher, but death wants Anna and he is gonna have her. She died and Leelas was devastated but Jackson was better athiding his grief, since they also really liked Anna and thought of her as a very close friend, and tried to coax Leelas out of his depression

Leelas thought that it wasn't fair that fate decided to makehim fall in love with someone so frail and then pull her from him so soon so he basically said Fuck Fate and started looking thelibrary for dark arts and necromancy

which Genesis didnt have so he had to go to Cesstation tofind what he needed

Demons are willing to do necromancy but its like.. aterrible act leaving the deceased in a purgatory like state of agony since youare defying the will of Death

There is another world which is basically where the souls of the deceased go. The people of Genesis and Cesstation  refer to death as His Will. and with necromancy?

you are basically ripping their soul from Death's world byforce and the soul will feel that pain forever until the spell is removed and Leelas was willing to ignore the demon's warnings torevive Anna in order to see her again and he completed the act, blind to the fact that Anna wasdeformed, in agony, and screaming

Jackson was the one who found Leelas on Gaia after thespell, seeing the books and Anna

lets just say Jackson was traumatized

Gabriel appeared, pushing aside his panicking son and killedAnna and made Leelas fall on the spot. 

Thats where the color scheme comes into play. All angels have some form of gold markings. either on their face, hands, or both. Purple means you fell, your markings turn from gold to purple. its like a punishment for doing something forbidden. 

Leelas went from gold to dark purple and falling feelssomeone sucked the life out of you so thats fun

back on Genesis, Gabriel announced that Leelas has fallen,named stripped to Stewarlight, and cursed until he is forgiven. And thatJackson will be the new Archangel

Leelas basically has to work off his sin

Jackson, now in line to be archangel is at an impasse

He truly believed that Leelas was the one to succeedGabriel and now he thinks he won't be good enough since all they did was dick around a flirt. thats a lot of sudden responsibility. 

Leelas, feeling bitter about Anna and his fall, takesadvantage of Jackson's turmoil and says that jackson has to be perfect, better. Leelas thinks that Anna being dead forever was Gabriel'sfault since he killed her, and Jackson's because they didn't understand whyLeelas wanted to bring her back and they didnt stop their father from killing her. If Jackson loved her too, wouldn’t he want to bring her back as well?

enter years of emotional manipulation

Gabriel passed his title to Jackson, who was now moreserious and cold

i like to think that Gabriel was not aware of what Leelaswas doing? or i just havent thought that far yet or he thought that Jackson, suddenly giving up theiraloofness, was taking his inheritance seriously

Gabriel eventually did die, leaving Leelas' curse up toJackson who decided to not remove it thinking Leelas did not earn the right to have it removed. 

enraged, Leelas manipulated Jackson to go to Earth as a kindof 'prove your perfection to me' thing

enter Ignizen Vasseur thats another long story.

basically, ignizen was the one who told jackson that hesuffered through years of abuse due to something that was not his fault

and jackson just. kinda broke?

broke down in a sense

because for years he thought that he could have preventedLeelas from doing that, prevented Anna's death by trying harder and not beingstupid, got gabriel's attention sooner, thought Jackson was not good enough andwas an after thought since Leelas fell

so thats where this image comes into play.

[irninfidel]

right so ! beforan culling. i have a lot of thoughts on this subject, but i’ll try not to infodump too heavily. for the most part, i’m going to be referring to the sorts of things kankri specifically experienced -- however, i feel like none of these are out of the ordinary for culling. that is, not every culled troll had these same experiences, but no one would hear this and think “that isn’t normal.” i’m also going to touch briefly on how i think culling is viewed by beforus at large, based on what we see in canon. alright sorry for the presentation style introduction but let’s just get into this

( heavy warnings for emotional abuse / manipulation and ableism ! )

so ! my biggest thing w kankri is (as mentioned on my rules page) i truly feel it’s a huge disservice to his character to assume beforan culling is anything other than a form of abuse. this is, imo, implied in canon, but as far as i’m concerned, it’s been long since confirmed. the main basis of my interpretation is that “taking care of mutants” really just means treating the mutant like a child regardless of how old the mutant is, how their mind works, etc.

kankri wasn’t allowed to really do anything without permission? he was always being watched over, if not by his cullers then by a babysitter of sorts. the babysitters were rarely much older than he was, but because they weren’t mutants or disabled, beforan culture viewed them as infinitely more mature. kankri couldn’t enter certain rooms in his cullers’ house, he couldn’t go outside without someone essentially holding his hand, he wasn’t allowed to lock doors under any circumstance in case he got hurt -- that sort of thing.

should he decide he did want to do something himself, he’d get guilt-tripped and manipulated to the moon and back. i always compare it to tangled’s mother knows best -- yk, the whole “you need me, look at you, the world will eat you up alive.” whenever he did get hurt (which was rarely), his cullers would say (and believe) that it was because he did sm on his own. as he got older and began to realize how unfair this treatment was, he would begin to argue that he could do things himself. this led to an inability to ask for help when he did need it -- every time he messed something up or needed sm, his cullers would use it as “proof” that he needs to be culled. he heavily internalized this belief and spent most of his game (and his afterlife) insisting that he doesn’t need help out of fear that they’ll cull him otherwise.

he had no real bodily autonomy -- since i hc that his mutation is expressed throughout his physiology (ex. blunter teeth, etc), he got pretty used to people (his cullers, their friends, etc) touching him -- examining his teeth, cooing over how things like blushing and tearing up presented, etc. this leads to his general disdain for being touched -- like, just being touched makes him uncomfortable, but as we see in canon, if it’s an even vaguely parental touch (ex. cleaning sm off his face, ruffling his hair, etc), he gets very upset.

i think the final major thing to establish is that kankri grew up being told he was incapable of consenting to quadrants. like, i imagine that to be a somewhat widespread concept in beforus, at least wrt culled trolls -- culled trolls are never told to be celibate, but should they ever have a crush, it’s treated in much the same way you’d treat a kindergartner having a crush on their teacher. it’s adorable, you’ll tell other adults about it and laugh, but it doesn’t mean anything. kankri copes with this by deciding he’ll be celibate of his own volition, which eventually morphs into deciding that he works better if he isn’t thinking about things like relationships.

so basically all of kankri’s character is attributed to all that ! on one hand, he has a holier-than-thou personality because he feels that if he ever admits to being “less than” aside from mentioning weaknesses he had in the past, he’ll be culled again. he’s also very socially driven and genuinely empathetic as a result. on the other hand, he is quite naive and gullible, and also generally “childish” from an emotional standpoint, as he never had much opportunity to mature in such a way.

i...think that’s all the major issues? so let’s talk abt others! kankri says that latula is the only person of her blood caste and above that doesn’t treat him as though they wanted to cull him. regardless of if they were actually genuinely coddling him, he felt that they were, so i imagine the tendency to think “oh, i need to help this mutant” is sm that a lot of beforan trolls have, be that an instinctual thing or a trained response. kankri likely gets it worse because he was culled -- i feel like he def tried to keep that a secret as long as he could, but everyone finds out soon after entering the medium, solely bc he has so much trouble adjusting.

part of his desire to rebel against everything porrim says is a response to her tendency to mother him. like, i don’t think her behavior is intentional or anything, but he absolutely doesn’t want to do anything that might encourage her to continue this behavior. he feels that there’s a thin line between “caring” and “taking care of”, and he’s not going to put up with the latter. almost all of his behavior revolves around a fear of being thought of as incapable again and an intense desire to avoid that.

okay okay there’s a good description! if you have any questions etc please don’t hesitate, i’m truly in my element when i’m analyzing kankri’s backstory dfksjf