#inevitably more will come but here we are for now so. yayyy riverdale posting on side

[casketears]

edits that i would have made to riverdale if they'd known to hire me

more explicit hiram/archie/veronica. now i know what you must be thinking: how the fuck could it get more explicit than what was already shown, especially since archie is the flavor of oblivious gay that would mean he'd likely shirk any form of homosexual contact with a confused smile and an aha, whoa, did you– did i– no, im straight. yeah. but all the same i'd have liked some more sensual solo scenes with him and hiram. his deteriorated half disinterest in his relationship with veronica in favor of his growing obsession with her dad is good but not perfect. i want them to get touchier and weirder about it. and i want veronica to also get in on it

cheryl as an insane quasi incestuous straight woman. i have never seen a less convincing dyke than as portrayed by madelaine petsch, and i have never seen her have more chemistry with anyone than when she was either a) obsessing over jason, b) using archie as a romantic projection of jason or c) straight up romancing archie in season 7. it's actually absurd. also cheryl is fucking crazy in a commandeering action seeking sort of manner and archie is the ultimate orders boy so you can imagine what a red-haired power couple the two of them could have been. archie go die in my mines yes honey <3

if cheryl had to be a lesbian then at least let her be involved with donna sweett from season 3. no meaningful thoughts here i just think they could have enjoyed each other's weird mind games, writing/painting foils, and overall gothic aesthetics. and i bet donna wouldn't have been so lame about the whole taxidermied twin in the basement thing

more explicit hiram/reggie/veronica. here i do actually mean explicit. i want that boy passed between the two of them like a rebound blunt. i want him spitroasted by the narrative.

speaking of which reggie and archie should have at least made out in season 7 and it's actually preposterous they didn't. i never knew a gay man (the show creator) within a cast of gay characters could queerbait like that.

in the jughead paradox i would have loved to see a taste of the flavor of insanity that would have befallen jason if the roles were reversed and cheryl had been the one to die way back in episode 1. i think about this roleswap a normal amount

more ethel. thank fucking god season 7 gave her justice by letting her escape the narrative but i still wanted to know more about this dnd-obsessive horror artist weird girl (+ betty's arguable half sister)

i would have had reggie actually be groomed by that driving instructor (miss bella) in season 7 rather than have it be a red herring. more horrible parallels to archie etc. also i want him and veronica to stay in that awful toxic rebound-adjacent business partnership forever but that's just me

more on the season 7 mini jughead squad (dilton doiley, ben button, ethel muggs). they hinted at it and never delivered and it makes me lose my mind to think about

REMOVE THE PALLADIUM PLOTLINE. I HAVE NEVER CARED LESS ABOUT ANYTHING IN MY LIFE THAN THAT ROCK.

more detective drake from season 5. she showed up told betty to leave her man and experiment with women and left without even kissing her. also her name sounds like dyke. i miss her so much and also every day.

musical episode ideas: dear evan hansen (smth related to covering a murder and jughead is evan and archie is jared and a gun is in my mouth), bare: a pop opera (featuring gay kevin), in trousers or hadestown (they could never pull either off but i'd love to see them try).

actually fuck it also more on eric jackson from season 5. preferably dating archie but i'm not picky.

ARCHIE SHOULD HAVE ABSOLUTELY STAYED IN RIVERDALE IN THE EPILOGUE? WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE LEFT HE LIVES AND BREATHES AND BLEEDS RIVERDALE HE WOULD HAVE ABSOLUTELY NEVER LEFT BY CHOICE OR FREE WILL HE HAS A WIFE AND TWO BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN AND IS BURIED OUTSIDE OF POP'S.

kevin worse quality life. yes i just don't think he goes through enough. i think he should have been in an unhealthy sexual relationship with the devil after he turned him into a cop (percival pickens) (i know percival is technically not the devil but he's english anyway)

cheryl should have had a cannibalism moment that post on tumblr was right

i don't think i emphasized enough earlier how badly i want explicit hiram/reggie/veronica. specifically of a flavor where both the former and the latter are using him to fill an archie shaped hole in their heart while also as a weird incest divorce cope to get back at their respective daughter/father. if you think i had established my point well enough just remember it again with me because it could have been beautiful. i'd have dragged this out for half a season at minimum

more on peaches the background character peaches (she is very attractive).

a proper time loop episode

was about to say 'canonically bisexual betty' (<- has been a vocal supporter since day 1 when she kissed veronica) but then remembered this is actually true and now i'm so happy i forgot most of the other qualms i was going to add on this list

non-sike deaf jughead

non-sike dead jughead

a jughead that kills himself and makes it everyone else's problem