#ineffable inflammables

[rainbowpopeworld]

[vidavalor]

Random ? but do you think the bookshop has a bath? I know they're magical but they love everything else "human" that's nice so...

PS This isn't Shax (LOL)

Surrrre, it isn't... 😂 To answer your question: Yes. For sure. Like you said, they like nice experiences. Plus, fish live for the water. 🐟

I actually think there's a semi-indirect reference to the bookshop having a shower/bath in S1 in the Bentley scene on the way back from Tadfield. More on that and some other bath-related, wordplay things about ducks and fomenting under the cut.

In S1, Aziraphale had teased Crowley a bit in the car on the way to Tadfield in the "Seeds of Destruction" scene. In the car on the way back from Tadfield, Crowley teases back by suggestively finishing the duck idiom he pretended to forget in the diner. (See also: the pretending to forget the past tenses of "smite" in S2 to flirt with Aziraphale in the "smitten" scene). Ducks seem to have a couple of different metaphorical levels on GO but one level is the Ineffable Husbands' sexually euphemistic one.

Crowley, driving the speed limit 😂, taking his time getting home, while enacting some playful revenge for the drive up by suggesting to his favorite duck that they play in the water together when they get home:

C: "Ducks!" A: "What about ducks?" C:

This could be presumed to be one of Aziraphale's favorite activities since the demon is bringing it up for the angel to think about for allllll the way back on the now very, very, long-seeming car ride home...

....and it is working, apparently😂, as this is Aziraphale:

Don't mind the cranky angel-- he's just desperately trying not to picture water sliding off his naked duck partner in their shower and can now think of nothing else... His paralleling gene to her got activated, apparently:

There's also a reference to self-love in an aquatic setting in the bookshop in GO: Lockdown. Another one of you asked me to do a thing on Lockdown so more in that when I do but, yeah, I think there's a bath in the bookshop.

There's also one, other bit of wordplay that is also on this theme a bit, which is the frumenty/foment/ferment confusion in the 597 A.D. scene.

When they meet up as knights in that scene, Aziraphale asks what Crowley is playing at and he says he's been "spreading foment", which is true-- it means to stir up discord and trouble. Aziraphale mishears him and replies: "Is that some kind of porridge?" which is a reference to frumenty, a kind of porridge from that era. What's funny about this is that it's really obvious that the answer to what Crowley has been up to when he's standing there flanked by mercenaries and they're all wearing body armor is not "eating this new porridge, angel" but Aziraphale is more concerned with looking for the subtext of what Crowley is saying and his mind takes it to a food euphemism while trying to see where Crowley is going with this. Adding to the confusion is that both frument/frumenty and foment also sound like ferment, which also can be used to say you're stirring up trouble... but it also means to make alcohol, which is euphemistic for sex to them.

Crowley redirects from the porridge, etc. confusion by clarifying which of these words he's saying by giving its definition in the sentence. He mentions that King Arthur has been spreading too much peace and tranquility and he's been working to counter that-- "ya know, fomenting"-- so that Aziraphale knows which of the words he's trying to bring up. The reason why it matters is that the other definition of foment is to apply warm water and/or types of soothing lotions or oils to ease inflammation in the body and help a person relax. He's offering Aziraphale a healing bath/massage situation. Considering they're each barely able to walk under three tons of steel, hard to imagine Aziraphale didn't go for that idea. The bookshop was likely designed with spreading some foment in mind.

[mirabilefuturum]

tagged by @lastlymatt tagging uhh @ineffable-user-name @toxicorum @moxie0kay @owlettica

post the names of all the files in your WIP folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it

I only picked the viable ones tho. listing all of them would be meh. (I also added comments in brackets, don't get confused)

Alex Rider:

lights from the airfield 5+1 meeting the family (this is Ian x Yassen too) Ian Rider dies inside gadgets two cats imaginary friend (also Ian x Yassen because I'm so normal)

Gotham:

high school au jožin z bažin (I'm an intellectual) Carmine draft in question (fml) Top Notch (In My Belt) (these brackets are part of the title) wicker man Gunslinger Boy

Barry:

blizzard прекрасное далёко (I'm not writing this one in the foreseeable future) как назовем (it's like my 5+1 barryhank but it's cristohank. and someone ain't cheating for a change) and there was also this idea, it doesn't deserve its own doc yet but it's basically canon cristohank falling for each other, not writing that one either anytime soon unless I develop brain inflammation

Star Trek Enterprise:

near death experience

there's also that Barry x AR crack. and the WTNV detective AU I should honetly be working on. and also this wild crossover shit about Ed Teach and Vladislav the Poker lmaooo I honestly should finish it it's so good

[c0smicdaisy]

service announcement

I fell asleep after reading a perfect piece of Good Omens fanfiction and woke up with a lot of feels about the fandom. Just let me tell you guys that all of you are amazing and I love every one of you very much, even if I don't know you personally.

That's all I have to say. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

[covenalt]

So I am losing my mind-

For a few days now I've been going over this and what could have happened but it doesn't make sense.

I know about false memories, Mandela Effects, even the Theory of Quantum Immortality and yet there's a key detail that cancels out all of those - my Discord messages.

So, I have watched a show called Good Omens over a hundred times now and even though I am no longer part of the fandom I used to be pretty involved about a 2 years back, now you can imagine my shock when I found out that it never was ' Inflammable ' Husbands but ' Ineffable ' Husbands.

Searching it up on socials somehow no longer gives any results and even the s2 announcement says "this time it's ineffable" when I clearly remember freaking out and yelling about 'inflammable husbands' and how '"This time it's inflammable"??? What???'

I know I've mentioned the Discord messages so here they are - and keep in mind that at the time I could search it up and it would give me results and now suddenly there's nothing. For being in the fandom for over a year you'd think I would've noticed I was saying it wrong.

[grison-in-space]

We’ve been chatting on my Discord a bit, about the difference between the book and the miniseries, and one of the biggest tonal differences is this:

In the miniseries, Aziraphale is the one who is most afraid. He is consistently worried that Heaven will get him if he gets too close to Crowley; every time Crowley suggests they run, he cites that his side won’t like it, and implies they’ll come after him. When we see him around them, he is always very tense, very uncomfortable, looking for the exit. He is always conscious of his leash.

In the books, Aziraphale is less afraid than Crowley. You get moments like this, very explicitly:

   Most bookshops in Soho have back rooms, and most of the back rooms are filled with rare, or at least very expensive, books. But Aziraphale’s books didn’t have illustrations. They had old brown covers and crackling pages. Occasionally, if he had no alternative, he’d sell one.

   And, occasionally, serious men in dark suits would come calling and suggest, very politely, that perhaps he’d like to sell the shop itself so that it could be turned into the kind of retail outlet more suited to the area. Sometimes they’d offer cash, in large rolls of grubby fifty-pound notes. Or, sometimes, while they were talking, other men in dark glasses would wander around the shop shaking their heads and saying how inflammable paper was, and what a fire trap he had here.

   And Aziraphale would nod and smile and say that he’d think about it. And then they’d go away. And they’d never come back.

   Just because you’re an angel doesn’t mean you have to be a fool.

where Aziraphale is clearly comfortable with keeping himself safe, when he needs to be, and very confident in his ability to do that. But that’s not with respect to Upstairs, now--is it? So okay, how does he act there?

Here’s the bit where Crowley first tries to tempt him to help influence Adam:

“There you are then,” he said. “All creatures great and smoke. I mean small. Great and small. Lot of them with brains. And then, bazamm.”

   “But you’re part of it,” said Aziraphale. “You tempt people. You’re good at it.”

   Crowley thumped his glass on the table. “That’s different. They don’t have to say yes. That the ineffable bit, right? Your side made it up. You’ve got to keep testing people. But not to destruction.”

   “All right. All right. I don’t like it any more than you, but I told you. I can’t disod—disoy—not do what I’m told. ‘M a’nangel.”

   “There’s no theaters in Heaven,” said Crowley. “And very few films.”

   “Don’t you try to tempt me, ” said Aziraphale wretchedly. “I know you, you old serpent.”

And then he gets distracted for a while by the metaphor Crowley’s trying to make about a bird. Note here that his objection isn’t “but then Upstairs will get me,” but rather “I can’t disobey because that’s not what I do.” 

They eventually make their way back to the point:

   “Listen—”

   “Heaven has no taste.”

   “Now—”

   “And not one single sushi restaurant.”

   A look of pain crossed the angel’s suddenly very serious face.

   “I can’t cope with this while ‘m drunk,” he said. “I’m going to sober up.”

   “Me too.”

   They both winced as the alcohol left their bloodstreams, and sat up a bit more neatly. Aziraphale straightened his tie.

   “I can’t interfere with divine plans,” he croaked.

   Crowley looked speculatively into his glass, and then filled it again. “What about diabolical ones?” he said.

   “Pardon?”

   “Well, it’s got to be a diabolical plan, hasn’t it? We’re doing it. My side.”

   “Ah, but it’s all part of the overall divine plan,” said Aziraphale. “Your side can’t do anything without it being part of the ineffable divine plan,” he added, with a trace of smugness.

Again, he’s not afraid here. And then when Crowley convinces him, he does so not by reassuring him no one will be mad, but by arguing that Heaven will give him a commendation and be impressed. At this point he agrees very quickly to give it a shot, because no one can object if he’s just thwarting hellish wiles--he seems quite comfortable on this point, and then wonders whether or not they’re going to have problems with the child’s genetics. After Crowley advances this framing, his only concerns seem to be feasibility, and he quickly agrees to give influencing Warlock a shot. 

And then there’s notifying Heaven of the whereabouts of the Antichrist, once he works it out from Agnes’ book:

   He ought to tell Crowley.

   No, he didn’t. He wanted to tell Crowley. He ought to tell Heaven. He was an angel, after all. You had to do the right thing. It was built-in. You see a wile, you thwart. Crowley had put his finger on it, right enough. He ought to have told Heaven right from the start.

   But he’d known him for thousands of years. They got along. They nearly understood one another. He sometimes suspected they had far more in common with one another than with their respective superiors. They both liked the world, for one thing, rather than viewing it simply as the board on which the cosmic game of chess was being played.

   Well, of course, that was it. That was the answer, staring him in the face. It’d be true to the spirit of his pact with Crowley if he tipped Heaven the wink, and then they could quietly do something about the child, although nothing too bad of course because we were all God’s creatures when you got down to it, even people like Crowley and the Antichrist, and the world would be saved and there wouldn’t have to be all that Armageddon business, which would do nobody any good anyway, because everyone knew Heaven would win in the end, and Crowley would be bound to understand.

   Yes. And then everything would be all right.

Note that here he honestly is expecting Heaven to take his side, and he thinks that telling Heaven will fix things--and he’s not really nervous about contacting them, either. (Gabriel, Sandalphon etc. are not featured in the book at all; in fact Gabriel is never mentioned until the 2006 New Years’ Resolutions and then only as someone who irritates Aziraphale. In the book, the Metatron is the only other representative of Upstairs we see or hear from directly.) He’s also only avoiding telling them that he thinks he knows where the Antichrist really is because he doesn’t want to upset Crowley, and it’s heavily implied he’s mainly not getting in touch with Heaven because it’s annoying to do. 

Here’s how that phone call goes for him: 

   He pushed aside the paper.. laden desk and rolled up the threadbare bookshop carpet. There was a small circle chalked on the floorboards underneath, surrounded by suitable passages from the Cabala. The angel lit seven candles, which he placed ritually at certain points around the circle. Then he lit some incense, which was not necessary but did make the place smell nice.

   And then he stood in the circle and said the Words.

   Nothing happened.

   He said the Words again.

   Eventually a bright blue shaft of light shot down from the ceiling and filled the circle.

   A well-educated voice said, “Well?”

   “It’s me, Aziraphale.”

   “We know,” said the voice.

   “I’ve got great news! I’ve located the Antichrist! I can give you his address and everything!”

   There was a pause. The blue light flickered.

   “Well?” it said again.

   “But, d’you see, you can ki-- stop it all happening! In the nick of time! You’ve only got a few hours! You can stop it all and there needn’t be the war and everyone will be saved!”

   He beamed madly into the light.

   “Yes?” said the voice.

   “Yes, he’s in a place called Lower Tadfield, and the address.. ”

   “Well done,” said the voice, in flat, dead tones.

   “There doesn’t have to be any of that business with one third of the seas turning to blood or anything,” said Aziraphale happily.

   When it came, the voice sounded slightly annoyed.

   “Why not?” it said.

   Aziraphale felt an icy pit opening under his enthusiasm, and tried to pretend it wasn’t happening.

He’s surprised when it turns out that Heaven isn’t interested. He’s honestly expecting them to go in guns blazing and fix it all; he seems to genuinely believe that Heaven is on the side of, well, the angels. And when he finds out that it’s not that simple, he’s surprised as well as terrified. Miniseries Aziraphale, by contrast, isn’t surprised at all when it turns out that Heaven isn’t interested in stopping Armageddon--he’s resigned, and sad, but not surprised. 

   “The forces of darkness must be beaten. You seem to be under a misapprehension. The point is not to avoid the war, it is to win it. We have been waiting a long time, Aziraphale.”

   Aziraphale felt the coldness envelop his mind. He opened his mouth to say, “Do you think perhaps it would be a good idea not to hold the war on Earth?” and changed his mind.

   “I see,” he said grimly. There was a scraping near the door, and if Aziraphale had been looking in that direction he would have seen a battered felt hat trying to peer over the fanlight.

   “This is not to say you have not performed well,” said the voice. “You will receive a commendation. Well done.”

   “Thank you,” said Aziraphale. The bitterness in his voice would have soured milk. “I’d forgotten about ineffability, obviously.”

I cannot see miniseries!Aziraphale being so openly upset and disappointed with his superiors. And yet. 

Then he asks who he’s speaking to, is told it’s the Metatron--he doesn’t ask for God to come to the phone, sort of goes “oh yes I see of course,” and is told that of course he’ll be signing up for the wars himself and swinging a sword again soon:

   “Good. We will expect you directly, then,” said the voice.

   “Ah. Well. I’ll just clear up a few business matters, shall I?” said Aziraphale desperately.

   “There hardly seems to be any necessity,” said the Metatron.

   Aziraphale drew himself up. “I really feel that probity, not to say morality, demands that as a reputable businessman I should.. ”

   “Yes, yes,” said the Metatron, a shade testily. “Point taken. We shall await you, then.”

   The light faded, but did not quite vanish. They’re leaving the line open, Aziraphale thought. I’m not getting out of this one.

   “Hallo?” he said softly, “Anyone still there?”

   There was silence.

   Very carefully, he stepped over the circle and crept to the telephone. He opened his notebook and dialed another number.

This is of course Crowley’s number, which he dials before he’s hauled into the circle at all, with Heaven strongly implied to still be on the line. The fact that he’s willing to dial the phone for Crowley is something I can’t see miniseries!Aziraphale dreaming of doing. 

Then he dials Crowley, gets an answering machine, sulks for a minute and remembers there’s another line, whereupon he gets a very distracted Crowley who is trying to wrangle Hastur and immediately hangs up on him; at that point he gets discorporated.

It’s not bad, exactly. Just different. But I got very used to the idea that of the two of them, Aziraphale was really the one who wasn’t afraid, and Crowley was the one who watched his back; and the miniseries does give them a slightly different dynamic about that sort of thing.

[greenkeepery]

Wilderness First Aid Guide for Common Muscle and Joint Injuries

You’ve been practically locked indoors for nearly two seasons and your feet are getting itchy. So, what do you do? You toss your old, dusty camping gear into your camper van (hopefully with your trusty first-aid kit) and make a beeline to a remote nature reserve far beyond civilization with Fido and your bestie—say Death Valley, for instance.

The roads are incredibly narrow, full of twists and turns, and very rocky; but the 360-degree view of rolling mountains and winding rivers is worth that “I’m going to die” feeling you get in the pit of your stomach as you squeeze your van around the canyon at 5 mph until you reach an old mining town long-since gone.

Intrigued by the history and ineffable beauty, you pull over so you can all explore the remains of rusted cans and antique cars. Just as your friend steps into an old car skeleton, Fido sprints after a jackrabbit. Afraid he’ll get lost, your friend bursts out of the car in an attempt to grab him and twists her ankle in the process, landing elbow-first on the hard ground. She screams out in pain as she remains laying on the ground.

Now what?

This is where wilderness first aid will come to your rescue. You don’t have to be officially trained as a Wilderness First Responder to equip yourself for backcountry excursions. But tips from this training could help keep you and your friends safe and stable as you a wait for trained professionals in the event of an emergency.

Data from U.S. National Parks indicate that the most common injuries treated by wilderness medicine specialists are soft-tissue lesions [damage of muscles, ligaments and tendons throughout the body], sprains, strains, and lower-extremity fractures.

Therefore, we will focus on muscle injuries.

In this article, you’ll learn how to assess the injury, how to temporarily treat the injury, and best preventive measures that’ll help you make the most of your backcountry excursions.

How to Assess an Injury in the Backcountry

We’re sure that many of you seen the emergency videos in grade school and learned the acronym DR ABC (Danger, Response, Airway, Breathing, Circulation).These tips below take that one step further in order to account for your unique situation, when help could take hours to days to arrive.

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Now, your case may not seem dire at first, but surprises do happen. So even if you think the injury is minor, it is best practice to follow the full patient assessment system (PAS) in the case of a major fall.

[Note: Only assess and treat an injury according to your scope of knowledge and training].  

Basic Assessment of a Muscle and Joint Injury

Presuming that you have evaluated that scene is safe for you to approach, you should inspect the injury. You’ll want to keep the patient calm and stable as you inspect the injuries. In brief, you need to “LAF.” No, not that kind of laugh, although laughter could be good medicine. But we mean that you need to look, ask, and feel.

LAF steps include: 

Look: Look for blood and discoloration.

Ask (listen): Ask if anywhere hurts or feels like it’s bleeding. Ask if there are popping or snapping sounds, which could indicate an injury. Ask the patient how bad the pain is on a scale of 1-10.

Feel: Feel around the body gently, especially where there is pain (with permission of course). This is a good time to perform a usability test. Ask the patient to try to stand to evaluate if he/she can apply pressure on the foot. You’ll want to offer your body as support just in case the patient cannot stand. In the case of an arm injury as demonstrated in the introduction, you’ll also want to conduct a usability test on that as well by asking the patient to try to bend the elbow or grasp something.

According to Buck Tilton, author of NOLS’ Wilderness First Responder, “The single most important factor related to a wilderness athletic injury is the patient’s ability to use the injured part.”

After all, you’ll ultimately want to finish the hike or be able to leave without being carried out.

<<Ease Your Muscle and Joint Pain and Get Back in Action>>

  Basic Treatment of Muscle and Joint Injuries in the Backcountry

You might be relieved to know that the National Institute of Health has noted that “more than 70% of nonfatal events [in the wilderness] were related to musculoskeletal or soft tissue injury,” mostly the lower limbs (I.e., the legs and feet).

For this reason, we’ll focus on what you can do to treat common strains, sprains, and minor swelling when you’re out in the great outdoors.

To begin managing the injury, you’ll want to remember one more important acronym, HI-RICE (hydration, ibuprofen, rest, ice, compression, and elevation). Now, we know that some of you may not want to take oral medications due to concerns about side-effects or a commitment to natural health, so we’ll give you alternative options below. But there will be times that you’ll be thankful you had it on-hand.

In short, you need to attempt to help decrease swelling as much as possible and to limit the pain so the patient can get back on his/her feet, literally.

Note: It is important to receive medical attention by a trained professional once you return from your trip. In the event of a serious injury, you should evacuate the patient and get him or her to a hospital.

Here’s the basics of HI-RICE

Hydrate: We’re sure that you’ve heard that water is the source of life and that your body is mostly comprised of water. But did you know that adequate hydration can help speed the recovery time of an injury? The patient is also going to need to wash that ibuprofen down with something if he/she opts for it.

Ibuprofen: If the patient is in significant discomfort, he or she will probably want a nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug (NSAID) to handle the pain and reduce inflammation, barring that the patient doesn’t have any pre-existing conditions that prevent him or her from taking it. These drugs do carry some side-effects like stomach upset, so be sure to offer food as directed with the medication. (Those of you plant nerds can take advantage of salicin in the willow bark, a similar chemical found in aspirin if worse comes to worst. Just wash the bark before anyone chews it. And never, ever eat a plant you are not 100% familiar with (Into the Wild ring a bell?). That aside, if the patient is not in serious pain and doesn’t have broken skin around the injured area, consider a topical pain reliever to soothe the muscle or joint injury like CBDMEDIC

’s Active Sport Pain Relief Stick. Once you feel the cooling relief of the naturally derived active ingredients, it’ll quickly become your “must-have” in your camping first aid kit. You’ll be happy to know that naturally derived topicals have minimal impact on the environment (as long as you uphold the 7 principles of “Leave No Trace” ethics for the outdoors).

Rest: The body needs rest to heal, plain and simple. Moreover, if the patient does not move, he/she can reduce circulation in the area, which can reduce swelling. Resting can also prevent further injuries from occurring.

Ice: You may or may not have packed ice in a cooler, but that doesn’t mean you can’t improvise with the gifts from nature. Is there a cold stream nearby? Perhaps there is snow leftover in the shade. Maybe you have a chemical ice pack in your first aid kit. You need to introduce something cold for approximately 20-30 minutes to constrict the blood vessels in order to deter swelling. Just remember to put a layer of cloth between ice, snow, and cold packs to the body. You DO NOT want to apply heat at this stage since it can actually enhance the swelling.

Compress: Wrap the area with an elastic wrap if you have one or improvise with a stretchy cloth if you must in order to discourage swelling. We’ll cover this part in more detail later. For now, just remember that you need to secure the area, but don’t wrap it so tight that you cut off circulation, sensation, or motion or you’ll have an entirely new problem on your hands. Make sure you check the area often just to ensure that you did not wrap the area too tightly. If you can squeeze a finger inside, you are probably ok. But ask how it feels too.

Elevate: Finally, you need to elevate the injured part of the body slightly higher (and comfortably) than the person’s heart in order to prevent or decrease swelling. For the case of the injured elbow and ankle, the patient should lay on a ground pad and rest her arm and leg on a backpack, a large rock with soft clothing underneath for padding, or whatever else you have that you can use to elevate the injured limbs.

Bottom line: The HI-RICE method can help reduce swelling.

Treating Common Muscle and Joint Injuries in the Backcountry

If you’ve been out for a hike or a jog or play sports, you’ve likely experienced the all-to-common strain, sprain, dislocation, or tendonitis. Before we get to treating them, let’s differentiate these common outdoor injuries.

Strain: An injury to the muscles and tendons as a result of stretching or pulling it too far, sometimes leading a tear. You will probably see bruising, but little to no swelling.

Sprain: Similar to a strain, this injury to the ligament is a result of overstretching. There could be bruising, tearing, and swelling at the 2nd and 3rd degree.

Tendonitis: Anything with the -itis suffix generally refers to inflammation. In this case, we are referring to an overworked tendon that results in swelling. This is rarely a result of trauma like falling, but simply from overextending yourself beyond your limits or not warming up and stretching properly first.

Dislocation: An injury involving the movement of a bone away from its normal position at a joint.

Low back strain

Low back strain is another common side-effect of putting stress on your back in the wilderness. If you’re small in stature and carry the same weight in your pack as your larger peers to keep up, you probably know exactly what we mean. But it can happen just as easily to anyone, particularly the non-athletic types who try to push their limits.

To treat a low back strain, you’ll want to try the HI-RICE method first. And if you have a pain relief topical, that’ll certainly take the edge off. Additionally, gentle core strengthening exercises like abdominal crunches can help. The patient can also tuck his or her knees to his or her chest and roll back and forth on his or her back in a rocking motion to ease the pain. Massages a few times a day with the fists can do wonders for the pain, too.

Ankle sprain or strain

Mild (1st degree) to moderate (2nd degree) ankle sprains or strains can be taped with athletic tape or kinesiology tape in order to stabilize the ankle while also permitting some movement. This also prevents further injury. If the injury is more serious, you’ll want to splint the injury and evacuate the patient. However, to maintain focus, we’ll only focus on minor injuries.

How to tape the ankle

Take the medical tape or kinesiology out of your first-aid kit if you have it. If not, you can always improvise by tearing or cutting a t-shirt into strips. Remember, tape works best if applied to direct skin. If there is hair and you can remove it, do it.

Ask the patient to flex his/her foot. It should be at a 90-degree angle.

Make a boundary with the tape just a few inches above the ankle and close to mid-foot.

Tape stirrups in order to secure the foot at 90-degrees.

Apply a J-shape, starting on the uninjured side of the foot.

Start with tape at the bottom of the foot and create a few figure-8’s to stabilize the ankle further.

Close with a heel-lock, a strip of tape that goes from the bottom of the foot and behind the ankle to the top of the foot.

Achille’s tendon injury

The Achille’s tendon, that small area right behind your ankle, can be overworked from strenuous hikes. To relieve the stress, simply apply a quarter-inch of padding under the heel. For further support, also tape padding to both sides of the Achille’s tendon.

Knee injury

A knee injury can make it rather difficult to continue a hiking journey, especially on rocky terrain. Again, this is quite common in hikers who carry excessive weight in their packs for hours to days on end. In order to prevent further injury, you’ll need to stabilize it with a good old-fashioned knee brace with the circle cut out in the knee-cap area or make a walking knee brace with whatever you have available, like the “t-shirt first aid” method. (Ps. Pro-tip. You’ll put less pressure on your precious knees if you walk sideways downhills and you’ll be more stable on rocky terrain).

How to wrap a walking knee brace

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Roll a small amount of cloth and place it behind the knee to help it stay bent at a 10-degree angle in order to allow a small bend. You can fold the extra material on either side of the knee for extra support.

If you have a foam camping pad, cut it so it fits around the knee. Or, if you don’t want to cut your precious ground pad (if the injury isn’t too serious of course), you can always fold the ground pad to make it work. You’ll have some trial and error here.

Ask the patient to lift his/her leg up and slide the padding under the knee. Then wrap the padding around the knee.

Fold the ground pad around the knee and tie it with cloth strips or tape it. Tie two strips of cloth above the knee and two below the knee, not directly on the knee.

If you must continue the hike, you’ll likely need a nice, sturdy stick as well for support.

Shin splint

If you are runner, you probably know this one all-too-well. In lay terms, this is when the front part of the leg muscles below the knee crash into the surrounding connective tissue. And it hurts, especially when the feet hit the ground. For most cases, you can use the HI-RICE method and/or use a sport’s cream, spray, stick, or ointment to ease the pain.

Elbow injury

Aside from falling, like our friend in the introduction, the elbow is commonly a result of overuse. This is a type of injury well-known to tennis players, but it could happen from your fire building activities, too. If you’re a “primitive skills” enthusiast with the patience for bow drill stick fires, you can over-extend your elbow muscles just as easily.

To remediate the pain, you’ll certainly want to take it easy with the HI-RICE method and/or a topical pain reliever. You can also wrap a cloth band about 1-inch below the patient’s elbow to create slight pressure during activities. A make-shift brace can also be made for the elbow similar to the knee brace.

Shoulder injury

As much as you think you can carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, it’s not actually designed to carry more than your 8-pound head. Likewise, your shoulders can become burdened with too much over the shoulder exercises like rowing.

To get through the pain, the patient will benefit from the HI-RICE method. And if the pain is felt more in the muscles, be sure to apply a good pain relief topical.

Preventing Athletic Injuries in the Backcountry

Now that that’s all said and done, how do you actually prevent yourself from getting to the point of needing treatment?

Follow these tips for injury prevention in order so you can protect yourself and your peers outdoors.

Make wise choices. Don’t try to push yourself beyond your capacity or behave recklessly. Nature is not forgiving.

Stay in shape. Healthy, strong muscles can support your body better and withstand more burden or use.

Eat a healthy diet (including water). We’re sure that you’ve heard that food is your medicine. A well-balanced diet full of fresh vegetables and adequate hydration will help keep you strong, well-fueled, and full of energy. You can spice your food with ginger and turmeric or take a supplement with these ingredients, like Charlotte Web’s CBD Gummies: Recovery. These help support joint health and strength and a healthy recovery from exercise-induced inflammation.

Get adequate sleep. Your body needs sleep to repair from daily stressors. Likewise, if you are not well-rested, your focus can whisk you away. When it comes to the outdoors, you need to be on top of your game. Save the long nights for the comfort of your own home, in moderation of course.

Maintain a healthy weight. Like we said earlier, the body is not meant to endure heavyweight. And that includes your own. Likewise, if you are too thin, your body will have challenges upholding the extra burdens of the outdoors.

Be prepared. This means warm-up with light stretches, pack the right food and gear for the environment, and wear weather-appropriate clothing.

Take a wilderness basics course. If you plan to deviate off the beaten path, we highly recommend that you familiarize with hiking and camping guidelines, including safety procedures and a Wilderness First Aid course. The Red Cross, NOLS, and the Sierra Club are great places to start. Or take a guided trip with at least one expert.

Key Takeaway

Be prepared to handle an injury before you head deep into the unknown with simple wilderness first aid tips. If injury does strike, assess the situation and treat according to your ability. In most circumstances, you will likely need to treat a muscle and joint injury with HI-RICE (hydration, ibuprofen, rest, ice, compression, and elevation) and maybe a simple brace. So, whether it’s a day trip or a few days to a week out in the wild, don’t forget the first aid kit. We highly recommend a naturally derived pain relief topical to throw in the mix.

Primary Resources:

American Red Cross. Wilderness and Remote First Aid: Emergency Reference Guide. United States. Krames Staywell Strategic Partnerships Division. 2014.

Montalvo R, Wingard DL, Bracker M, Davidson TM. Morbidity and mortality in the wilderness. West J Med. 1998;168(4):248-254.

Sward DG, Bennett BL. Wilderness medicine. World J Emerg Med. 2014;5(1):5-15. doi:10.5847/wjem.j.issn.1920-8642.2014.01.001

Tilton B. Wilderness first responder. 2nd Ed. Guildford, CT & Helenford, MT. The Globe Pequot Press. 2004.

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This information is for educational purposes only and is not intended to replace medical diagnosis or treatment. Seek medical assistance for any injuries.  These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA and products mentioned are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

The post Wilderness First Aid Guide for Common Muscle and Joint Injuries appeared first on Greenkeepery.

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[gothhabiba]

SHIELD FOR SORE NIPPLES.

Nov. 1, 1842.

The subject which I have the honour this evening to lay before you, and touching which I am called upon to address you, is one of deep and sympathising interest to us all as men, and particularly so in our relative situations as husbands and fathers, for it concerns the safety, welfare, and happiness of the tender sex,--the fairest portion of God's creatures,--dear, delightful, devoted woman,--a ministering angel sent by Heaven to soothe our anguish on the bed of sickness, to assuage our grief, and to share our joys in happiness and prosperity, to whom, also, we are indebted for most, if not all, our domestic happiness and comfort. Allow me, gentlemen, to tender to you my sincere and grateful acknowledgments for this opportunity which your kindness and courtesy have afforded me of calling your attention to this most interesting and important subject.

Is it not enough, gentlemen, that the tender object of our dearest affections should have been doomed by the common lot to pass through the perilous pangs of parturition, which, by the merciful dispensation of an all-wise Providence, she may be permitted to do in safety, without the additional suffering so often attendant upon the office, which, to a fond mother, conveys ineffable delight and joy, namely, of affording to her infant offspring that support which nature has provided for it?

It too frequently happens, gentlemen, that this delectable prospect of maternal felicity is nipped in the bud, or annihilated by an occurrence, in itself, at first, apparently not of much moment, yet too often it is the precursor of the most distressing and disastrous consequences, namely, a sore nipple, which, from time immemorial, has baffled the most skilful medical treatment. The part becomes irritated from the action of the child's mouth, and the vacuum produced thereby, which is increased by atmospheric pressure, inflammation succeeds, the vessels are ruptured by the combined action of these causes, and the unhappy mother withdraws her gory nipple from the infant's boneless gums. Worn out with corporeal pain and mental anguish, she is most reluctantly compelled for its preservation to resign the offspring of her bosom, perhaps the first pledge of conjugal love, to the tender mercies and the bosom of a stranger, thence to derive its nourishment and support. Thus is she deprived of those delightful anticipations and pleasurable prospects which the performance of her maternal duty had pictured to her fond and fertile imagination. Gentlemen, the mischief, unfortunately, does not end here ; the inflammation extends to the gland, the escape of the milk is prevented, fever supervenes, often attended with delirium, an abscess

[this goes on for another page or so]

Now, gentlemen, this little apparatus which I have the honour to submit to your notice possesses these great desiderata. As a preventive, it is requisite only to say that it effectually accomplishes the desired end, by being applied immediately after delivery. Its curative character consists in the nipple being immersed in a lotion produced by a lactate of lead, formed by the lactic acid acting upon the metal, the whole contained in a reservoir, as it were, in the cavity of the shield, which, by adhering closely, prevents pressure, and may therefore be worn with the dress. It is, in fact, a perfect ægis. I have used these shields in the most severe cases in a somewhat extensive practice for upwards of a quarter of a century, even though the nipple has suppurated and sloughed to the extent of half its volume, threatening the destruction of the whole. I have never experienced a failure. Yes, gentlemen, this little apparently trifling and intrinsically valueless article, because formed of a material in the lowest scale of metallurgy, possesses, nevertheless, powerful properties when put to the proof, producing the most pleasurable operation upon the principle of philanthropy.

--T. W. Wansbrough, Transactions of the Society, Instituted at London, for the Encouragement of Arts, Manufactures, and Commerce, Vol. 54 (1843-1844), pp. 144-151

I have three words from this Victorian housekeeping guide that I guarantee you do not want to hear

[medsol]

Independent media leaders like Mike Adams, the Health Ranger and editor of Natural News, have long been vilified by the mainstream media for daring to insist that chemotherapy actually causes cancer. Time and again, Natural News has published articles based on scientific studies that prove the ineff

[aziraphalalala]