#indy plays videa gams

[keptin-indy]

Indy plays Violet

I have played for 3 hours, fought zero random trainers, caught 25 pokemon, and not even made it into the school where the main plot lives.  A+ game, running around and getting lost in the fantasy Mediterranean is exactly what I need in this frozen hellscape (also why AssCreed Odyssey made such a good winter game for me)

Never doubt my devotion to pokemon: I walked a mile in the snow uphill in a feels-like temperature in the single digits to get this game, like I'm a crotchety grandpa complaining about how hard it was in the good old days to get to school

Anything more detailed or spoilery below the cut

There are face customization options!  Sure, it's nothing compared to RPGs with serious graphics but it's new and shiny and my dude is almost uncomfortably pretty!

I've said this for generations now, but I am unhappy with all the implications of having a rotom - which is demonstrably a sentient, speech-capable pokemon - in every phone these days.  I So Strongly do not want a sentient phone that watches and judges and talks about everything I do all day, god.  In real life, I take a number of steps to avoid as much of this situation as possible.  Ugh, looks like they're in the TM machines too.

The orange trees look so much like apricorn trees for Arceus that I instinctively went over to harvest one

Why did I suddenly learn to run without warning?  I mean, thank goodness, walking was awful, but I didn't get shoes or anything to prompt it.

There is no falling damage (and you can turn off your common sense in the settings and confidently walk straight off cliffs!), but you are allergic to water like AssCreed 1

I'm sad that Nemona choses the 'man that's weak against yours because that means I won't get to watch the little fire pepper grow up.  Starters were a hard choice since the first evos were so good and the last ones were all resoundingly okay, but itty bitty kitty.

But I don't want to give the penis dragon my lunch. Once a friend pointed out to me that the penis dragon is shaped like it is, I spent its whole introduction wondering what furry on the pokemon dev team really wanted to be ~heroically rescued by a sexy dragon~

Don't like the gas station pokemon centers.  Don't like that bringing up the menu doesn't pause the world. Do like the pokedex library

Why can't I catch this gimmighoul under the bridge?  Why can't I barge into random strangers' houses and root through their trash cans?

[keptin-indy]

Indy plays Legends: Arceus

I haven't played Diamond/Pearl for a lot of years, but it's possibly my favorite game of the bunch. I've watched my roommate play some of the remake, and I hate the art style and also that you can't meaningfully decorate your base anymore. All this to say that I'm sure there are D/P references that I'm not going to get because it's been so long.

I have spent an ungodly amount of time playing the DLCs for Sword/Shield lately. I put more time into them than the base game itself. So I am very excited about an entire open world game.

Everything specific below the cut

It is sending me that Arceus speaks like the King James Bible

The fact that it speaks at all, like many legendaries and psychic types, once more drives home how much of a dick Calryrex in the Isle of Armor is for hijacking an entire human without their consent or knowledge just because he couldn't be arsed to do his own talking

I really hate the "modern kid wakes up in a fantasy setting" trope, but I'm interested in the wrinkle that a direct visitation from god means this kid is kind of a prophet. I did not expect to contact god via my cell phone, I must say.

The professor's hat looks so stupid. It would be fine if it didn't go all the way under his chin, but just hung open like a winter hat. Also why Laventon instead of Lavender? At least it'd be a plant, if not a tree.

I'm pretty sure that if all pokemon could shrink this would have come up A LOT before now. I can only assume that either a) this is a side game like Mystery Dungeon and therefore things work differently and are dubiously canon, or the much funnier b) the study of pokemon is new and Laventon believes all pokemon can shrink because the alternative - that one particular species of nut is just wild - is too out there for his modern science yet.

This looks to my uneducated eye like the fantasy Meiji Era and I am running around in basically my underwear by those standards. Professor, would it kill you to give me some clothes before teaching me how to imprison the wildlife?

I'm so glad the villagers are as wigged out by my clothes as they should be

I see a Galarian Weezing-shaped thing. Could it be that the British-sounding people really are Galarian rather than Galar being relatively newly connected to the rest of the world? I just want to know all about the history of this world and its regions.

Wow, I hate Beni's awful green mustache/chinstrap and grey beard combo

15! Not the tiniest of children! Hurray! Unfortunately, this qualifies me for indentured servitude. If I knew I was going to be a prophet pressed into a foreign power's service, I'd've named myself Joseph.

"Hey 15 year old, if you fuck up we are explicitly booting you out to die in the wilderness and get eaten by pokemon."

I want to eat a potato mochi. I had no idea these existed until I googled it just now, but I want them in my face.

I want to decorate my quarters but I don't think you can.

You people are sending a child out in the wilderness in basically underwear.

Putting so much emphasis on how you can and probably will die alone in the wild is hilarious for a series that is normally marketed for kids. I feel like they know the people most excited about this specific game in the series are the ones who've been hoping for open world pokemon since the late 90s/early 00s.

Laventon's camera is absurdly small for this time period expy. Cowards, not going for the huge tripod-mounted ones. It doesn't even have a big ol' flash!

Like in A Knight's Tale, the key to excelling in this story is to be too stupid to know when you're in mortal peril.

Finally someone has clothed me! And it's the person who's repeatedly said she'd leave me to die in the wilderness!

Not that I'm complaining, but why did you specially give me a hat, ma'am?

PLEASE DON'T SUPPLEX ME, SIR

The tutorial for this game lasts forever. I know there are a bunch of new things to learn, but I want to run around the wilds like a gremlin already.

WHEN YOU'RE IN YOUR HOUSE YOUR SHOES AUTOMATICALLY DISAPPEAR, THAT'S SO CUTE

I know I said I wanted to wander around outside but now I have to explore every single door in this town. And there are many.

A very serious young trainer and, unfortunately, his pokemon.

I will exclusively take pictures with the old timey lens.

IMPORTANT INFORMATION: You DO take falling damage and you CAN drown.

I have learned how to roll and now I will Link my way across this entire landscape

Oh no, inventory management

I am very bad about keeping track of which buttons do what in any video game, but I'm mad that they arbitrarily changed the controls from what they were for doing the exact same things in the Wild Areas in Sword/Shield. Now I have to retrain my muscle memory for no good reason.

I am also very bad at keeping track of whether I'm throwing a pokeball or a pokemon. And I keep pressing LR instead of ZLZR because I'm really a PC gamer and not used to two whole sets of triggers back there.

[keptin-indy]

FFVII Remake liveblogging

I didn't get to play FFVII Remake when it came out due to a variety of reasons, but now I can finally live my dreams! I've even mostly avoided spoilers beyond that there are new spoilers for a 20+ year old game.

Steam of consciousness commentary below the cut:

Chapter 1

First of all, the music for this is so good and hearing it fully orchestrated instead of in 1990s midi form gives me Feelings. In the next game when Cid's Theme plays in its full brassy glory, I will die.

This is my favorite fake ad I've seen so far:

Fascinatingly, there's a whole fancy photo mode with filters and focus adjustments and all, but no actual way to take the picture on PC.

Gideon Emory with an American accent is extremely distracting to listen to. Lovely voice, so much cognitive dissonance.

Boy do I hate Jessie's stupid boobplate.

Cloud, my boy, I know you currently sort of think you're Zack right now, but Zack was never a Grim Broody Protagonist Man. Do a better job with your delusions.

Yoooo references to the plot of Before Crisis, the Japan-only phone game that I so desperately want to get localized!

I don't care what kind of graphical updates they make, in my heart Guard Hounds will always be big cats like they were in the original and I Will Not be budged from this point.

Very disappointed to learn that you can't just stand at the bottom of the ladder and wait for your companions to just slam straight into you like Dragon Age.

If Barrett gets to curse for real I cannot wait to hear Cid "Sit down and drink your GODdamn TEA" Highwind.

The buster sword is broader than Cloud's tiny tiny waist

Chapter 2

Terrorists surprised about the apparent consequences of their own terrorism but unrepentant about all the accidental loss of life, more news at 11.

The way Cloud's PTSD flashback with the burning buildings was done is really neat. I appreciate good design that takes advantage of the medium and its constructed environment to more effectively tell a story.

Every time I have to see a sign for Loveless I am catapulted back to Crisis Core and Genesis not ever shutting the hell up

I take forever to get through video games because I wander around and look at all the set dressing, but as a result I get to experience things like "Sarami Sandwich" and Caramel and Apllepie pizzas:

Not a big fan of the many random parts where the game either forces you into a slow walking speed, grabs control of the camera, or both. Why is that necessary??

[keptin-indy]

KH3 liveblogging!

@sphinxfeather​ picked up KH3, which means I get to watch her play it and provide occasional Otakon help!  That means it’s time for stream-of-consciousness blogging (all of which will be behind a cut, so no worries for spoilers).

Background info: I used to cosplay Roxas and I have very strong feelings about him.  Magneto used to cosplay Maleficent, which it why I consistently refer to a video game villain as “mom”.  I make a lot of Exalted references when talking Kingdom Hearts.  They just go really well together in my head.  Ask me about the ridiculous AU my friends thought up in college.

Yes it is 3am.

These are some extremely metaphorical flashback cutscenes.  Unless you already know what happened, they’re not actually going to fill you in on anything.

Gosh that stained glass texture is pretty though.

How many times are we going to have this same boss fight?

Good way to get around having all the old char progression wiped out.

jfc did Sora get dumber?

SARAH REACTED TO THE II.9 THING EXACTLY LIKE I'D HOPED: WITH RAGE

Olympus Colosseum 

NOT LARGEBODIES ALREADY

In the present behaviours for your companions, what does "Finish the Job" mean??  Does Donald stone cold murder people you leave behind??

We do get to play AC:Odyssey in KH!  Climb all over ancient Greece!

On destroying amphorae for munny: "Making pot shards for future archaeologists." "We don't need your help!"

Can't climb in Zeus' lap, inferior to AC:O

HI MOM

Throwing an enormous statue of yourself is such an Exalted solution to getting three people onto a ledge

ACHILLES' HEEL?!  REALLY?!

Hiiiii Xigbar

Throw a whole-ass pirate ship at this thing

Rage form?  What is it and why?

Sandworm!

Protip; do not Mad Teacup off a waterfall.  You will have no idea where you are at the end.

Wait, the main characters can hear the soundtrack music?  They comment when the fight music starts once.

Oh shit, the "Realm of the Gods" has the Yu-Chan fast travel mercury canals!

But what's with all the hershey's kisses on the floor?

When Donald sucks at healing you, Sora's sarcastic at him, I love it.

Our cutscene with Xigbar cut off so I have no idea if he said something important.

I know that beach!

Demon Tower is a warstrider in Arms of the Chosen, isn't it?

Huh, keyblades shouldn't break.

Nice to see Kairi doesn’t hold any minor incidents of kidnapping against Lea

Gummiphone is not a good word…

Ienzo dresses just like Even, which seems unhealthy.  He seems well-adjusted for someone with so much trauma, though.

"I have to find Roxas and save him" \o/ MY TIME HAS COME.  I’ve only been yelling this at KH games for 12 years now!

Random title card?  In the middle of the game?

Gummi ships, my true love in these games!  I hear they're way more involved in this one!  I can't wait to rebuild Frankengummi, the ugliest giant block of firepower ever to hang in the air exactly like bricks don't.

"Step 3: Profit" Thank you, game.

Treasure spheres look like the Apple of Eden from AC.

Twilight Town!

Hah, it sure *has* been a long time.

Hayner!  Pence!  Olette!  Except plaid!

Moogle fur looks weird

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I just finished Dragon Age II and I am filled with emotions.

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Who all is playing Kingdom Hearts Unchained X over here?

Who wants to join a party or has one that’s open for more people?

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My friends specifically promised me that this game featuring an Elder God of whales was, in fact, actual whale-free.  They lied to me.

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I am not leaving this route until I catch a Ralts, dammit.  Maybe two.

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Did mom really make her kid ride in the back of the moving van the whole trip?  wtf?

I've said it before and I'll say it again, it's a shame Torchic evolves the way it does because it's dang cute hopping around like that in battle.

Treeko used Bitch Slap!

There's an Ace Trainer who gives you his float stone and turns into a Hiker because he suddenly weighs more. Oh Pokemon.

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Take that for all your doubting, friedcheesemogu!

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Lumiose City (once you get access to all of it) is huge and exceedingly strange and I love every part of it.  I found a cafe run by toddlers and I have no idea what's going on.  Also everyone is so French it hurts.

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Pokemon still doesn't know the difference between archaeology and paleontology, but they know what menhirs are?

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What the hell did I pick up on StreetPass?

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Whatever's on this TV is exactly what my life would be in that universe.

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TF2 Pokemon problems: I want that hat, but I should really use my limited amount of money on Pokeballs.

[keptin-indy]

0259-0483-9177

Okay, kiddos with a 3DS.  Here's my friend code I'm certainly not playing as my OC Spy, come and be buddies with me and my Froakie.