#incidentally. one who has a history of getting in trouble for not letting their coworkers cut corners ifyareallywannaknow what side I'm on

[amplexadversary]

Still would rather buy three machines that are really damn good at three separate things than one machine that sucks at all of them for four times the price of any one of the others. Geez is that the goal these device designers have? Shackle their consumer base to one line (theirs) as if we don’t already have to deal with that with our physical fucking meat bodies? I really really hope that isn’t the fucking endgame here.

[redorblue]

On Beauty, by Zadie Smith

This was the second book by Zadie Smith that I read, and if it wasn't official that I love her already, it definitely is now. It takes me a while to get into her books because the pacing is very deliberate and in order to appreciate her genius, you first have to get to know the characters, but once it happens it doesn't really let me go again, even when I've made an effort to put it aside for a moment. The first one I read was Swing Time, and On Beauty is very different in terms of setting and topics, so it's hard to imagine that she'd have such a good eye, so much understanding for two (three) entirely different contexts, but she does.

The main topic in On Beauty is love/attraction, mainly of the romantic and/or sexual kind, but some of the POVs also talk about belonging and identity. The story is told mostly from the perspective of one family: Kiki, an African-American nurse; Howard, her white British husband who works as an art history professor at a New England college; their elder son Jerome, who shocks his family in the beginning of the novel by becoming religious; his sister Zora, a college sophomore and workaholic; and Levi, the youngest in the family and very much at odds with his family's suburbanness. There are some other characters who get a chapter every once in a while, but it's clear that these five and their relationships and struggles with each other are the main focus of the book.

I didn't like all the characters, and especially with Howard I grew ever more disgusted the further the plot progressed, but what I appreciated a lot about this book was that I understood each character’s motivations, even though I didn't like them sometimes. In my opinion that’s a sign of a really good writer: if they're able to make sense of their characters' actions, despicable as they may be, without trying to guilt-trip you into feeling sorry for them. Explaining, but not justifying. Like in this case: before the book even starts, Howard has cheated on Kiki with one of their friends (who, incidentally, is the exact opposite of Kiki physically), and during the course of the novel, he does it again repeatedly, this time with a beautiful young student of his who is not only the daughter of his archenemy, but also obviously disturbed after the sudden death of her mother. Granted, it happens on her initiative, but he's fantasized about her before, and how hard is it to just keep it in your pants really. I personally think that Howard is a terrible human being, and I'm pretty sure that the author, personally, thinks that too, but it's still made clear why he does it because „he's a terrible human being" doesn't really cut it when you write literature.

Essentially, Howard cheats because he's unhappy with his bourgeois, stable, normal life. He's from a working class British family, a fact that he's never really made his peace with, so everything he does is, at least subconsciously, partly due to his rejection of his origins and the expectations with regard to lifestyle, profession and romantic interests that come with it. His choosing art history as his field (but then engaging with art in a very pragmatic and, one might say, unintellectual way), his moving to the US, his marrying a black non-academic woman… I'm not saying that he doesn't love his wife or his job, just that the pattern goes back a very long time. In that vein, it makes sense that he has an affair with his colleague and, even worse, with his student once he gets too comfortable in his academic bubble, once he feels trapped by what other people expect his life to be like, once it gets normal and boring. Basically he has a classic midlife crisis, and he compensates for it by having sex with the two women that remind him the least of his wife and their family. And as morally questionable as that may be, it makes sense.

But enough about Howard - I've talked so much about him and I don't even like him. I like Kiki, and I have to say that I found it very satisfying when she moved out of the house and let him deal the household and their kids for a change. In her case, too, that decision made sense for her character, but in contrast to Howard it was a point that she first had to reach. In general, Kiki is an independent-minded woman who has a very healthy sense of herself and her body (she's plus-sized) and enough self-confidence to make herself at home in circles where she's often the only black and non-academic person (and married to a white academic who's not exactly good at guessing what other people might feel like). That's why I was a bit confused that she was on her way to forgiving Howard when she first learned about his infidelity.But thinking about it, it does make sense.

First of all, she mentions several times that she basically gave up everything for this life with Howard, that her marriage and her family are her life. We don’t see her spend that much time with people outside her family circle, with the exception of Carlene, and there it’s made clear that building a friendship is an unusual experience for Kiki. So it would make sense for her to try and repair her marriage, simply because there’s not much else in her life (at least in the beginning of the book, in the epilogue things seem to have changed - yay Kiki). Secondly, and here’s where the guessing starts, I think her background has something to do with it. If I remember correctly, she never mentions her father, as opposed to her mother, so I suspect that her father wasn’t present for much of her childhood, as was probably the case for many of her childhood friends, since she’s not from a wealthy family and poverty and racism tend to screw families up. Kiki definitely turned out well, but she probably knows how hard it is to be a single mom, or a kid without a father, and she doesn’t want that for her family or for herself. So she tries to fix it, or rather just go with the flow - not pretending as if nothing ever happened, but trying to be okay with her new situation and the gap between her and her husband that his cheating has opened up. Until he cheats again (and picks the worst possible partner for it). In that instance, she doesn’t see much of a point in trying to make it okay again because in spite of her efforts, nothing has changed for the better in her marriage, and with this repeated betrayal she doesn’t think that it ever will. So she walks out - and no, I absolutely did not whoop even a little bit when I read that.

Besides the whole love/marriage/sex group of themes that Kiki’s story deals with, it also touches a bit on belonging and identity. This is also the main topic in her son Levi’s story. Levi is still in highschool and obviously confused about who he his and where he belongs. He lives in a very safe, wealthy, white suburb, but he’s also a mixed-race (read: black) young man, and especially in such an environment that is not the easiest thing to be. He has this romanticized vision of blackness - not that he thinks that being a poor young black man is awesome, but he likes the sense of belonging he gets when he hangs with some Caribbean street vendors, and he definitely romanticizes the bond between black people. He also thinks this way of life is more authentic for people like him than what his family does - being in academia, recruiting their social circle among their white neighbors and coworkers etc. He does his best to fit in with his chosen circle, but the tragedy of his story is that as much as he would like to pretend that they all basically share the same background, the same experiences, it’s just not true. He slips up in the little things - like when one of his friends tells him about some people who work in the college and Levi automatically asks which department they’re in, not thinking that they might not do academic jobs. He makes a very good ally - he’s a heartbreakingly compassionate person, to the point of naiveté (but he’s still young, so that’s okay) - but as much as he would like to pretend otherwise, he just didn’t grow up in a poor family who lives in a poor inner-city neighborhood. His desire to belong and to right some of the wrongs that his friends always tell him about even makes him commit a crime in the end - and the only thing that keeps him out of trouble is his wealthy academic family. He doesn’t get the (kind of) happy ending that Kiki gets, because Kiki’s problem has a hard, but feasible solution - walking out - while Levi’s does not, he’ll just have to learn to be okay with being neither white nor black (= what he thinks being black is about).

Generally, although the tone keeps being quite light and relaxed until the last page, On Beauty isn’t exactly an optimistic book. Some of the romantic problems are resolved, which is how Kiki, Jerome, and even Howard (maybe) get their more-or-less-happy endings. But those concerning class, race, and the intersections of the two, like Levi or Carl or also Zora, end on a much less positive note because in the end these things are out of your control as an individual person. Which is not to say that I didn’t like the ending, I do like it very much (and not just because I like sad endings). Especially Kiki’s ending as the pinnacle of her entire arc is beautiful and important because here is this fat, non-academic, black woman who is not a stereotype but instead portrayed as 1. a real person with feelings and thoughts and intelligence, and 2. beautiful and desirable. Off the top of my head I can name maybe one or two more example where something like that happens. But the ending is certainly bittersweet because it shows that while there are some things in your personal life that you can fix (or walk away from), there are also obstacles that you just can’t transcend - especially those that affect you on a societal level. And this may not be the moral that one wants to get out of a story, but it is - sadly - realistic.

[kirinonyanmaru]

list 10 reasons why u love kirino so muchbecause I'm legit curious of ur love of soccer patrick

SOMEONE ASKED ME ABOUT HIM THANK YOU SO MUCH NOW I CAN POST MY ESSAY

TL;DR

1. He pretty

2. He’s so nice

3. I love his voice, great singer

4. Great UNIQUE character design for a male character, and easy for me to draw THE COLOUR SCHEME BLUE AND PINK AAAAA

5. KIRINO SENPAI

6. He’s intelligent

7. I identify with his insecurities to HELL AND BACK. Jealous of your best friend out-performing you? IS THIS ME??

8. He’s pink

9. He’s very shippable (you: every IE character ever)

10. HE PRETTY

And the essay is under the cut (this isn’t finished btw it’s only just begun)

Okay, let me sit you down and tell you why Kirino Ranmaru is my boy.

I know Inazuma Eleven has that REPUTATION for its rampant VIEWER GENDER CONFUSION and Kirino is probably the guiltiest party of all. Just how many other boys can you name who wear their hair in long pink twin-tails? The answer is one other: Arikawa Hime, who is incidentally based on Kirino. That’s right, my boy INSPIRATION. Kirino is Kinoshita Hideyoshi-level pretty boy, and it’s interesting to note that BOTH characters frequently topped popularity polls during the reign of their respective animes.

Kirino’s entire character design was literally based with beauty in mind ‘a boy more beautiful than any girl, but still resolutely a boy’. That shit is popular with girls and remind me why girls watch Inazuma Eleven again? Kirino needs an Ares redesign so he can blow his Touken Ranbu competition right out of the ranking.

Kobayashi Yuu, the queen behind this boy’s voice, is clearly just as invested in the character as his fans. She gushes over his attractive qualities and friendship with Shindou, and what’s more infectious than a fan’s love for their favorite character?

BUT WAIT! Kirino is more than just his pretty face. He is the KEYSTONE of Raimon’s defense, despite still only being a second year. Who is the member of the defence who gives the commands? Who makes the judgement calls and acts according to the situation? Last time I checked, Kiri is most likely to rally his troops. And if you’ve ever played with Kirino in the games, you know he’s not letting any shots get past him easily.

A satellite character to Shindou, you say? PERHAPS. But let me ask you this - have you ever felt like you’re trapped in the shadow of your friend who always manages to surpass you? Have you ever dealt with a classmate or coworker who seems to be intentionally agitating you, but there’s no one you can confide in for help? Kirino has. There may only have been a few Kirino-centered episodes, but in those episodes he dealt with realistic personal dramas. His character song elaborates on his feelings at those times. He knows he’s not perfect - he’s jealous and insecure. He accepts that as part of himself, and tries to grow as a person.

Is his friendship with Shindou perfect? Perhaps not. They’re, like, fourteen. It takes Shindou going into space for Kirino to truly escape from his shadow and be crowned Captain of Raimon, a position he’s more than able to handle.

He’s smart as hell - Hino himself confirmed that. He may be a bit forgetful sometimes, like forgetting to write down his math homework or whatever, but he’s in the same class as Shindou - ie, the top class, if they’re divided by grades. He likes reading, and he has impressive knowledge of European history - well, French history.

Did I mention what an honestly charming and lovely person he is??? Who helps Hikaru learn how to dribble correctly? Who’s quick to forgive Kariya after all the trouble that little brat caused? He’s always there in the background supporting the other members of the team.