#in which sara dreambooks

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Okay. So. Consider.

Texas Death Match. Mox and Ibushi. It's outside. Kota gets a gigantic fireworks budget and Mox gets a vest made of removable forks and boots with a special compartment to store no fewer than 7 screwdrivers. The Elite and BCC are stuck in cages close enough to rage flirt with each other but nothing else.

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J's theory is that Hangman shows up tonight...to cost Will the belt. He needs Swerve to have that championship so he can steal it from him. He doesn't want simply to be world champion again. He wants to take it from Swerve.

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Prediction: Will loses tonight, defends against both MJF and Daniel Garcia at All In 2024, then, through events, makes his way to the main event at All In 2025 and wins the world championship there.

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My predictions, because I have some batshit crazy ideas:

Beneath a cut, because. Well. You know how much I ramble.

Zero Hour

Yuta vs. Hook - Hook wins, but Yuta beats the shit out of him at the end of it. Danhausen comes out to make the save, but Yuta beats him up. And then Danhausen challenges for the Pure Rules title.

Willow vs. Kris - ONLY IN WRESTLING CAN AN OTP FIGHT EACH OTHER. Stokeley is gonna corrupt Kris against Willow, but not until the women's tag belts are announced will he make his final move. Stokeley, secretly working in the background for the Renegade Twins, will unleash his final blow right before the finals of the women's tag titles tournament, causing Staturday Nightingale to lose, and triggering a full on battle between the two of them, likely culminating in match for the women's world title (RoH, probably.)

20 Man Battle Royal - Okay. I got 3 ideas: Sara's dream book, the best story, and what likely will happen.

Sara's Dream Book: Bucks and Hanger come back. Bucks sabotage everybody else to get Hanger to almost win, then Hanger steps back and lets someone else win but leisurely jumping over the top rope when it's him vs. the other person. "I'm above this championship," he says, taking the mic during the other person's celebration. Offical Superdick Party debut, official heel turn, official idiots.

The Best Story: Only 19 people are in or around the ring. Toward the end, a guy in a hoodie, with his face slightly obscured, shows up. It's Jack Perry. He wins, and cashes in the "any time" clause during the Christian vs. Copeland match.

What Likely Will Happen: Midcardapalooza. A very fun, non champion level person like Komander, AR Fox, Kip Sabian, or Andretti win to create a fun flippy match with the winner of Copeland vs. Christian that they will ultimately lose.

Main Card

Eight Man tag (Jericho/Sammy/Darby/Sting vs. Ricky/Bill/Takeshita/Hobbes) - I really. Look. Lot's of stuff about this match is convoluted. It's mean to take the place of the tag belts, which I understand, but they should have bitten the bullet, dropped the Jericho/Golden Jets story completely, and provided a title chance to an actual tag team.

Eight man tag (Bryan/Claudio/Mark/Danny vs. Lethal/White/Rush/Brody) - I think the BCC and friends win, but I think this may lead to Danny being inducted into the BCC. Otherwise this match is kind of weird. However, it means that everyone in the C2 got a match on the pay-per-view, and I like that.

Andrade vs. Miro - Look I KNOW it's all about Miro's redemption or whatever, but he's pissing me off lately and I want Andrade to win to show that CJ's management is effective. But I also think it could be cool for Andrade to lose, to show that a lack of CJ's management causes him weakness. It could develop a more introspective story of talent vs influence that could be approached by both Miro and Andrade in different directions. But it's wrestling, so I doubt the nuance necessary for the storyline would be possible.

Swerve vs. Dustin - Yeah sorry Dustin. Swerve is gonna KILL you. Super sad to hear about Keith's injury. This match was going to absolutely BANG and him being unable to finish this storyline is a heartache.

Julia vs. Abadon - SPOOKY SHENANIGANS! I hope Skye gets out there and she and Julia do some MK Ultra tag level nonsense. Give me shenanigans. Give me lesbians. I love it.

Copeland vs. Christian - You already saw my idea for Perry, but here I think Copeland wins by pulling unexpected allies out of his back pocket.

Eddie vs. Mox - EDDIE BETTER FUCKING WIN THIS. He deserves to be a three belt holder, to hold up RoH, to continue his work. Mox may be my first AEW love, but Eddie. Eddie deserves it.

Toni vs. Riho - Mariah May shenanigans result in a Toni win, but perhaps Riho has an original in the wings waiting to save her. Crossing my fingers for a Jamie return PLEASE.

MJF vs. Samoa Joe - Joe wins. MJF is injured, shit goes down, the Devil and his goons interfere, and Joe is our new World Champion. We also, we gotta, reveal the Devil.

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Okay here's what I want: Adam gets annihilated vs. Swerve at Wrestledream. The match is good, lengthy, but Adam just can't keep up, not with the menacing way Swerve works. He preys on his insecurities, telling Adam that he only ever gets a good belt run in tag or trios. He tells Adam he's no longer a singles wrestler, and that's why he will lose.

And Adam does. He loses, the Bucks half carrying him backstage.

Discouraged, Adam takes some time off. The Bucks, on a BTE segment or Dynamite segment, pull him back in using the fact that they are trios champions together. That Adam is worth it no matter what. It's all the things he needed to hear in 2020, but now things are different. The Bucks have his back, really have his back, and the three of them work wonders as a team.

Adam and the Bucks focus on RoH for a while. Swerve, with momentum galore, continues his way up the card until he challenges MJF (Winter is Coming or the last Dynamite of the year) - and wins. He peacocks around all proud for weeks, taunting everyone in AEW.

Eventually, Adam's had enough. He's had enough. He won't let this guy treat this belt like a trophy instead of a responsibility. Adam starts adding singles matches on AEW, rising up the card, meeting every challenge Swerve sends him. "I bet you once, Cowboy. Why do you think you can climb this mountain again and survive?" Then, at All In, they battle. It's brutal and violent, Mogul Embassy and the Elite getting thrown away from ringside midmatch. But Adam does it. He wins.

But now what? He's a double champ. And the Bucks need him for that trios belt.

Adam Page in 2024: is he a singles wrestler, is he a team wrestler, or can he find it inside him to be both?

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I NEED the Hangman/Moxley match tomorrow to end in a double DQ, a time limit draw, or a double count out. Leave them 1-1-1, FORCE a final death match where they are both desperate for the final victory and ready to spill blood and sweat in exchange for a definitive victory. Don't let a random Dynamite be the end of this feud. Let them go to Revolution and tear each other apart in front of a massive audience, let them pull out all the stops and go after each other with a single-minded fury.

I WANT A HANGMOX TEXAS DEATH MATCH AT REVOLUTION, GODDAMNIT.

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Dream match: Mami vs. Daddy match. Shingo Takagi vs. Rhea Ripley, with El Phantasmo and Dominik Mysterio ringside. Imagine the twinky outside of the ring shenanigans! The hardhitting badassery of Rhea and Shingo! The comedic result of El Phantasmo being Annoyed to call Shingo Daddy, while Dominik loves calling Rhea Mami!

It'll never happen, but a girl can dream.

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I'm watching the Royal Rumble and they've already made a stupid decision, so here's my Adam Cole's Wrestling Return dreambooking:

He obviously wins his first match back, and makes his way up the card rapidly. The matches are quick and violent, with the "New Adam Cole" schtick sticking. The Dynamite before Revolution, he demands a title shot against Darby, saying he's waited long enough to come back and it's time for a title around his waist. He brutalizes Darby without hesitation, soaking in the crowd reaction. He's about to get the pin, and Darby isn't moving. One. Two.

Adam pulls Darby's arm up, props him up against a post, and walks away. "I'm too good for this belt," he spits, after stealing the microphone from the commentator's section. "You think I'd come back and go for a mediocre mid card belt? What kind of mediocre piece of shit do you think I am? I'd rather take the loss."

Darby retains on a technicality and Adam treats the loss on his record as a joke. Darby's out of commission for a few weeks, because he really needs to take some time off.

Adam continues his wins, and makes it his mission to destroy the pillars. "The only real pillar of this company is Dr. Britt Baker, DMD!" he shouts into the microphone sometime in April. "She's the only one who deserves that title! She's never been at the front of any controversy! She's never disgraced the AEW brand or had a temper tantrum that disrupted the entire company!"

Cue Jungle Boy, who really hasn't done anything unsavory and has been an all around delightful babyface. He challenges Cole to a match the next week. Using nefarious tactics, Adam wins, but just barely.

He takes out Sammy next. He's already taken out Darby. The only one left is MJF. And that's your main event for Double or Nothing 2023: Adam Cole vs. MJF for the belt.

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Dreambook bonanza from Sara! How I want to see the belt picture go from now until Double or Nothing. This one is like a thousand words so...under the cut we go! Credit to @sarahcakes613 for their "but what if Joe and Hanger?" which has lived rent free in my noggin for months, and also because they came up with a lot of the players. Tagging @scissormedaddyass as well.

The Devils attacked Hangman, but Joe also accused Hangman and brought attention to him for MJF. This implies, to me, that it was all linked and intended. Hanger is in a lifelong feud with Cole, from what I can tell. They’re going to circle around each other forever. But Joe – Samoa Joe is like a wall in the way of Hangman’s progress. He showed up before Hanger could really go after Max. He’s the one who drew attention to Hangman and got him beat up.

So, when Hanger comes back, he knows who he wants to go after.

Cole is smart: he’s calculated, conniving, manipulative. There’s even a chance he hoped all of this would happen. He knew, with how injured Max was, that Joe would beat Max, with a tiny bit of distraction from him as Cole and him as the Devil. But he also knows that, realistically, he himself can’t beat Samoa Joe.

So he goads Hangman into it. Hangman, who is constantly trying to prove himself. Hangman, who lost the belt in a way that broke him a little. Hangman, who has been dancing on the edge of the void for months now. Hangman, who can beat Joe with his strategic strength and skill, but who can be psychologically manipulated by Cole. It’s an easy first match back in the ring, in Cole’s eyes. He lost to Hangman twice, yes. But he’s a new man now. He’s different.

The feud builds until they announce a Hangman/Joe main event at Revolution. Cole goads Hangman the whole time: you’re not strong enough, you’re not big enough, you’re not bad enough. He’s already getting under Hangman’s skin. It’ll be like taking candy from a baby – he won’t even have to wait to strike until Double or Nothing, after Joe beats Hangman at Revolution. Happy Easter to him.

Swerve is lurking in the background, finishing his rise to the top. He beats high level names on the roster for a few weeks, then turns his eye on the BCC. First, he beats Bryan Danielson. He beats Yuta. He beats Claudio, and that’s when he makes his claim. Revolution. Swerve vs. Mox. He will get his win back. And then he is going after the title, no matter who wins. He not so secretly hopes it’s Hangman. He can psychologically manipulate Hangman. Joe doesn’t seem like he’d be easy to take down, physically or emotionally, but Hangman. God, he’s so easy for Swerve, isn’t he.

Hangman vs. Joe is brutal and vicious, with Cole and the Devils lurking (Cole said it’s to help Joe win, but Cole is always a liar). Hangman, with surprise intervention from Cole that could be viewed as an accident by a man less astute than Samoa Joe, is victorious. Hanger’s win is gold dipped in blood – he won, but at what cost? It’s the first major win of his with interference. He’s not as affected by that as he knows he should be.

Cole, finally healed and ring ready, steps up to Hangman the Dynamite after Revolution. He’s challenging for the belt. And he will get it. We get a rematch sometime at the end of March/beginning of April. Cole underestimated this new Hangman, though. Last time they fought in April Hangman couldn’t cheat.

This time, he hits Cole in the face with the belt, and smiles through his victory. Cole is a picture of shock as Hangman’s music starts and his hand is raised.

This is not how it was supposed to go.

Cole is carted away by his Devils. He has been thwarted. He has been beaten. He has been out cheated by the golden boy.

Swerve, on the next Dynamite, comes out on the ramp during Hangman’s in ring promo, and just stares. The room goes silent. For the first time since facing Kenny, there’s a hint of fear in Hangman’s eyes.

Swerve throws bait at Hangman during the next few Dynamites – it’s clear he’s going to challenge for Double or Nothing, but he just won’t say it. Hangman gets more and more brutal as he takes out Kaun, Toa, Cage, a jobber or two.

It’s the Dynamite before Double or Nothing. Hangman stands victorious over his latest conquest, but he doesn’t look comfortable. He doesn’t look certain. He doesn’t look like a self-assured champion.

“I told you a long time ago, Hangman,” comes a voice, echoing around the arena, “I’m here to take your spot. Double or Nothing, you will lose your belt. And I will be the AEW World Champion.”

Hangman’s music is still going, but it now sounds ominous. He looks down at the belt in his hands, and is finally worried about what might happen next.

At Double or Nothing, Swerve uses the psychological tactics to beat Hangman. But he doesn’t make the mistakes Cole and Joe made; no, he’s been watching. He’s seen what didn’t work in the past, he’s figured out where Hangman’s truest weaknesses are.

Swerve baits Hangman with echoes of his losses in the past. A mockery of a GTS. An intentionally missed Buckshot. After the ref is distracted by the Bucks, who were trying to slip Hanger the belt to win, Swerve intervenes and takes it from Matt’s panicked hands. Swerve hands Hangman the belt and encourages him. “Go ahead,” Swerve says. “Prove how bad you are.”

Hangman uses it. And Swerve doesn’t even stagger. He takes the belt from Hanger’s hands, throws it out of the ring, and takes him down by the knee.

Swerve wins without a shadow of a doubt, taking Hangman out with a killshot. He wins clean. And Hangman continues his tradition of losing at Double or Nothing.

Finally, Swerve has his belt. He got there because, truly, he is the best. On the mic. In the ring. But, most of all, he lives rent free in everybody’s heads. He made a home there, a home in AEW, and now it’s all his.

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Responding to my own predictions, but ranking the matches!

Eddie vs. Mox - Yay so good! Easily best match on the card. My number 1 for a reason. Quite possibly in my top 10 matches of the year! 10/10

Kris vs. Willow - OH BOY GIMME THAT SLOW BURN BREAKUP STORY. Stokely is "stoking" the fire between them and I am fucking excited to see where it goes. 8.5/10

Julia vs. Abadon - A clean win shocked me! Skye shenanigans, spooky shenanigans, gay vibes. Loved it. 8/10

Hook vs. Yuta - Again, so fun. Yuta was such a bitch and there was blood and weapons and chaos. My kind of match. Loved it. 8/10

Copeland vs. Christian - OKAY NO ONE COULD HAVE PREDICTED HOW THIS WENT DOWN. But, technically, Copeland did win. But only for 30 seconds. 7.5/10

MJF vs. Samoa Joe - What a surprisingly GOOD match! With MJF so injured, I expected it to be a squash or major match interference - nope! So much anticipation, and then the Devil reveal AFTER MJF had already lost? I loved it! I like how Joe won with no shenanigans. He choked the shit out of Max and won that way. 7/10

Opening 8 man tag - The Danny of it all in this one got me, okay. He was soooo pouty and annoyed and got the shit kicked out of him, which was very fun to watch. Bryan was annoying, Jay was annoying, Mark was incredible, Claudio was Lorge, Brody was Lorger. Lethal and Rush were there. 7/10

Toni vs. Riho - I think I screwed myself on this one by hoping Jamie would show up at the end. I also expected shenanigans, of which I got none, which surprised me as well. All in all a great match, just not my favorite. 6/10

Swerve vs. Dustin - Surprisingly enjoyable! Dustin can still go and had some psychology behind his moves that I don't think Swerve predicted, which made for a fun match. Still sad about Keith though - Swerve vs. Keith would have been in my top 3 for sure. 6/10

20 man Battle Royal - Fun! Slightly predictable winner, but I got to see Bryan Keith, Kip, and the Dark Order! 6/10

Andrade vs. Miro - I will be nice. 4/10

Second eight man tag - *grits teeth* I will be nice. Ricky is pretty and I love him. 3/10

My predictions, because I have some batshit crazy ideas:

Beneath a cut, because. Well. You know how much I ramble.

Zero Hour

Yuta vs. Hook - Hook wins, but Yuta beats the shit out of him at the end of it. Danhausen comes out to make the save, but Yuta beats him up. And then Danhausen challenges for the Pure Rules title.

Willow vs. Kris - ONLY IN WRESTLING CAN AN OTP FIGHT EACH OTHER. Stokeley is gonna corrupt Kris against Willow, but not until the women's tag belts are announced will he make his final move. Stokeley, secretly working in the background for the Renegade Twins, will unleash his final blow right before the finals of the women's tag titles tournament, causing Staturday Nightingale to lose, and triggering a full on battle between the two of them, likely culminating in match for the women's world title (RoH, probably.)

20 Man Battle Royal - Okay. I got 3 ideas: Sara's dream book, the best story, and what likely will happen.

Sara's Dream Book: Bucks and Hanger come back. Bucks sabotage everybody else to get Hanger to almost win, then Hanger steps back and lets someone else win but leisurely jumping over the top rope when it's him vs. the other person. "I'm above this championship," he says, taking the mic during the other person's celebration. Offical Superdick Party debut, official heel turn, official idiots.

The Best Story: Only 19 people are in or around the ring. Toward the end, a guy in a hoodie, with his face slightly obscured, shows up. It's Jack Perry. He wins, and cashes in the "any time" clause during the Christian vs. Copeland match.

What Likely Will Happen: Midcardapalooza. A very fun, non champion level person like Komander, AR Fox, Kip Sabian, or Andretti win to create a fun flippy match with the winner of Copeland vs. Christian that they will ultimately lose.

Main Card

Eight Man tag (Jericho/Sammy/Darby/Sting vs. Ricky/Bill/Takeshita/Hobbes) - I really. Look. Lot's of stuff about this match is convoluted. It's mean to take the place of the tag belts, which I understand, but they should have bitten the bullet, dropped the Jericho/Golden Jets story completely, and provided a title chance to an actual tag team.

Eight man tag (Bryan/Claudio/Mark/Danny vs. Lethal/White/Rush/Brody) - I think the BCC and friends win, but I think this may lead to Danny being inducted into the BCC. Otherwise this match is kind of weird. However, it means that everyone in the C2 got a match on the pay-per-view, and I like that.

Andrade vs. Miro - Look I KNOW it's all about Miro's redemption or whatever, but he's pissing me off lately and I want Andrade to win to show that CJ's management is effective. But I also think it could be cool for Andrade to lose, to show that a lack of CJ's management causes him weakness. It could develop a more introspective story of talent vs influence that could be approached by both Miro and Andrade in different directions. But it's wrestling, so I doubt the nuance necessary for the storyline would be possible.

Swerve vs. Dustin - Yeah sorry Dustin. Swerve is gonna KILL you. Super sad to hear about Keith's injury. This match was going to absolutely BANG and him being unable to finish this storyline is a heartache.

Julia vs. Abadon - SPOOKY SHENANIGANS! I hope Skye gets out there and she and Julia do some MK Ultra tag level nonsense. Give me shenanigans. Give me lesbians. I love it.

Copeland vs. Christian - You already saw my idea for Perry, but here I think Copeland wins by pulling unexpected allies out of his back pocket.

Eddie vs. Mox - EDDIE BETTER FUCKING WIN THIS. He deserves to be a three belt holder, to hold up RoH, to continue his work. Mox may be my first AEW love, but Eddie. Eddie deserves it.

Toni vs. Riho - Mariah May shenanigans result in a Toni win, but perhaps Riho has an original in the wings waiting to save her. Crossing my fingers for a Jamie return PLEASE.

MJF vs. Samoa Joe - Joe wins. MJF is injured, shit goes down, the Devil and his goons interfere, and Joe is our new World Champion. We also, we gotta, reveal the Devil.