#in unorganized discord rambling

[limitlessscion]

this isnt from a meme but i have two questions: 1) what did satoru's childhood bedroom looked like? and 2) does he play video games?

what did satoru's childhood bedroom looked like?

He had two different rooms growing up.

As an infant, his room was deep within the Gojo family manor, at the center of a large compound dating back centuries that had been constructed especially for the Six Eyes child. The walls are solid with no windows, sound-proof, and are carved with charms that are fiercely protected family secrets. Spells on them prevent them from being able to be recorded manually or digitally, and memories of their existence erased when leaving the compound. The knowledge of how to activate them are bound to only the Clan Head, and the Six Eyes user themselves; nobody else is able to retain the knowledge in their minds even if they learn of it.

The charms are able to supress the effects of the Six Eyes and alter its perception in different ways. It is a necessary aspect of raising a baby that was born with the curse of the Six Eyes, to safely acclimate them to the intense amount of information and learn how to process that information correctly. However you can imagine how dangerous such spells are to the Six Eyes user if they fall into outside hands.

The compound has several layers of security outside of that central room, a lot of which was added after the assassination of a newly born Six Eyes user many generations past by Kenjaku.

When he was older, around the age of four, he was given a room in the main family living compound near the rooms of the clan head and other high-ranking members. The room was plain though; he never got a say in personalizing it. It was cleaned daily by servants, so the fact he'd drop candy wrappers on the floor or that his desk after a study session would be a mess of scrolls and notes and scattered writing utensils never stuck. Every day as he'd get ready for bed the whole room would be pristine, sterile, and lacking any touches of his personality. One time he'd stolen a sticker book from a servant child and placed some on the wall— and they'd been removed the next day.

The floors are patterned tatami, one window opened to the outside of the compound that looked out over a managed creek and koi pond with a wall of bamboo growth. The opposite wall is a shoji screen that opens into the courtyard. His bed was a western style bed by the window with a small nightstand, and the rest of the room was taken up by a work desk and bookshelf.

He was given very little privacy and agency in his life in general.

does he play video games?

Yes! His first ever video game was Pokemon Silver, given to him on his 10th birthday. Karasu, the head of his security detail, has a strong soft spot for children. For various reasons with his background, he was one of the few people who treated Satoru like a child, was not afraid of him, and had plenty of real parental experience. He'd broken a lot of rules fulfilling his promise to make Satoru's birthday that year a good one, as his birthday was actually an annual event that Satoru always hated.

Satoru poured hundreds of hours into Silver. His favourite Pokemon are Lugia and Feraligatr for that reason— in the end, he was still a simple boy who liked the cool legendary on the cover and his starter Pokemon. Once he started playing, there was no way to make him stop anymore; so Satoru's obedience and good behaviour was bought using promises of gaming time and the purchase of new games. Satoru stole extra time for himself too, often playing under the covers at night, or finding quiet hidden corners when he had little pockets of time to himself.

Fun fact: Satoru figured out how IVs and EVs and the damage formula worked entirely on his own.

He exclusively played with handheld consoles; TV consoles required sitting down in a static location with a screen, which gave him no privacy and much less opportunity to sneak gaming time in. It is for a similar reason that he never watched anime or movies, only read mangas and books.

[m-says-hi]

you guys seemed open to a discord server so

here

[vyl3tpwny]

parasocial2, or, the complications of my social anxiety + growing self + motivation & stress management amidst all these things.

a while ago i wrote on here about parasocial relationships and things of the sort. it was an unorganized ramble, and so this will be also.

Growing Self

something i have to live with is that in my past, i have been an excruciatingly unbearable, egomaniacal cunt. honestly i still have anger issues sometimes. and a lot of the time i take everything EXTREMELY personally. but at least i understand these things about myself better now.

i have a hard time pushing people away or giving space to myself because sometimes i feel like i owe everyone my personal space. like i don't deserve personal space because of how much of a massive bitch i've been; the baggage i've created for myself and the pain i've inflicted on other ppl means that i should have to sell my personal space out to everyone and anyone who asks for it, avoiding risk of being seen as an asshole for pushing people away and asking for space alone.

and yet i find it hard to do anything sometimes. i will wake up to 400 notifications of people asking me high executive or personal questions, needing my help or opinion with something, trying to show me something that i don't have the energy to respond to, and stuff. because of this thing i am and live with, i continue to feel like i have to spend a lot of time trying to figure out something meaningful to say. it takes so much time and willpower and by the end of it i just don't feel like doing anything anymore. it kills my ability to work or go do things or go outside or talk to anyone i actually want to talk to.

it sucks. because there are (a.) a handful of people i could probably talk to every day and it's fine; there are maybe like 15-20 people who fit this category. there is another (b.) sect of people, a very large amount of people, who i can handle speaking to occasionally. then there are (c.) people who i don't know, don't want to know, or used to know. i've labeled them accordingly.

B.

with the people in group ".b", ppl i can only rlly talk to occasionally, it's hard because usually these people are friends or acquaintances and i enjoy the company of sometimes and i can find something to talk about with sometimes. however, usually i do not have the energy to talk to them. i often have a status indicator on my discord, for example, stating that i only want to speak to people i have business with or are very close friends. people in group ".b" tend to be the first and most frequent trespassers of this request. it's very hard to disengage with these conversations or messages because i don't want to hurt their feelings, and it's not like i dislike these people. but a very very very VERY large percentage of people i think don't actually understand how i am.

i have always been someone who values being alone. of course, i couldn't live in isolation i think. but i've always valued just being by myself. i go out most places alone and i will often not participate in any social activity for days, weeks at a time. i think the best when i'm alone and i usually start thinking the most creatively when i'm alone.

so to people in group ".b", it's hard to really establish: "I want to be alone most of the time, don't talk to me", without it seeming like a negative thing. it's not that i don't care or that i dislike these people. i just get overwhelmed and sensory overload easily. and when i'm waking up to over a hundred messages, i don't feel extremely motivated to find the energy. i find it hard to ask for that, especially because of how it can be perceived negatively in light of how toxic i have been in the past as well. idk.

C.

but then there are people in group ".c". people i don't know. people i don't want to know. and people i used to know. that's kind of broad. but they all feel the same to me. this is where it's less about social anxiety and more about perceiving the parasocial construct in front of me.

something i struggle with, among all other things, is why? why constantly vie for the attention of someone who doesn't want to talk to you. what joy is there in seeking a one-sided relationship? it confuses me profoundly. if i speak to someone and they don't return the same enthusiasm or level of interaction, i just leave them alone after that. i'm not going to try and be friends with someone who has other things to do and other friends to be with. so why is it that it feels constantly like there are people who want to call me their 'friend' and want to seek out a connection with me when i'm not reciprocating that in any way. i especially don't feel like the most unique, interesting person in the world. if i'm not interested in connecting, i'm sure there are way more interesting people than me to even talk to. so why does it have to be me? i'm just a person.

anyway. it gets very difficult to disengage with people in group ".c". again, part of it is because i'm overly aware of how i can come across, especially given my past toxicity. however, with these people it gets much more complicated. often i find that the people who form parasocial interests in me also happen to be people who a predisposition to hurt themselves and sometimes those around them. i still struggle with the trauma of someone who faked their suicide and blamed me for just not talking to them even though i didn't know them at all. so not only do i feel the need to delicately balance not upsetting people in group ".c" because they may guilt trip me over what i've grown out of, i'm also afraid of them hurting themselves or hurting other people.

to the people who aren't in the extreme ends of that. it's still difficult because a lot of the times i will openly express my social (or lack thereof) needs very transparently. and they will still continue to try and reach me. i don't really know what else to do, because if i block them it will seem so much more drastic and upsetting, because the people in this group tend to not want to think in any neutral or balanced sense.

there are people who i have ignored the messages of for quite literally several years. and they will still message me consistently as if unreciprocated message 70 is going to prompt me to finally respond.

There is No Middle Horse

I do everything. I write, compose, arrange, perform (vocals and instruments), produce, mix, and master all of my music.

I do all my management. There is nobody who manages for me.

I do all of the utility work that comes with being a public musician entity.

There is no middle horse.

And I will not compromise that just to solve these parasocial and social anxiety issues.

still i feel the need to either deal with or humour every whim of people in group ".b" and group ".c", just to avoid coming off as an asshole and to avoid people hurting themselves and others. i don't really know how to solve this honestly. other than just ignoring people or communicating my needs openly, i don't see any other route.

the fact remains that i have been a cunt in the past. i have been extremely toxic and caustic. therefore, i see that part of myself when i consider blocking someone or desiring to make my needs clear and my boundaries transparent. dunno.

i'm extremely tired. and my energy is sucked out by people in groups ".b" and ".c". to the point where i never get to hang out with people in groups ".a" much anymore, the people i really really want to be around and talk to. i want to have energy to actually talk to my friends. but i don't. i'm busy selling my soul i think.

i am slightly antisocial. but mostly i'm tired and like being on my own.

honestly i'd like to know what other people think. and i am in therapy for this and many other things now. but it helps to know what other people think anyway.

sorry this sucks!

[renteduwu]

I’ve realized I can utilize tumblr as a rambling space for ideas so I’ll probably do that from now on so I can share my thoughts on world building and OC making instead of just using an unorganized discord server.

Some minor dunmeshi spoilers ahead beware

Anyways I wanna talk about mana and its use in fantasy media. I never really liked how it didn’t have much of an explanation besides “funny magic bar that has a number connected to it.” Where does this source come from? Some forms of media describe it as being in a liquid state sometimes, such as mana potions, but how does a wizard or spell caster harness energy from it?

I really like Ryoko Kui’s take on it in Dungeon Meshi and how mana is represented in the form of spirits. I love how a dungeon is also classified based on the amount of power it holds via these spirits.

A part in the series that really shows is when Marcelle and the group catch the undine and literally make some spirit infused mana water with it. The fact that spirits are also a physical thing that can be seen, not via the naked eye of course, makes this so much better.

That’s another thing I absolutely love about dunmeshi is that everything makes sense. Living armor is not armor that’s being controlled via some spell or a sorcerer but is actually a living mollusk-type system. I was blown away it’s so fucking cool

Dunmeshi is totally an inspiration in the stuff that I make/wanna make and this series holds a close place in my heart

Have I mentioned I like delicious in dungeon yet

[dragonnarrative-writes]

1, 3 and 34 for the writer ask game!

Hello my friend! 💜

Do you prefer writing one-shots or mulit-chaptered fics?

Well... I think right now I prefer writing multi-chaptered fics, but I have a few one-shots in the works.

I like a long story, and I like the way the physical break between chapters changes how I read and write stories. As much as I hate a cliffhanger, I love the way a page break adds to the tension of a story.

I also like multi-chaptered fics as a writer because it lets readers interact with me and influence the story. The Gaz and Soap interludes in Slasher Handler came from asks, and they helped me flesh out their characters in my head and decide where the story is going. @mi-i-zori had a huge hand in helping me decide how I want Simon and Bambi to interact in Transferrable Skills.

3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic

Whoo. This will be long!

First, I do an "Okay So...!" summary. Basically, I ramble in the discord or write in a physical notebook anywhere between a sentence and (checks notes) 1500+ words. It's a bit unorganized. Some of it is quotes, a lot of it is "script" format dialogue, most of it is rushed transitions. There's a lot of placeholder text that represents its own couple of paragraphs.

(For example: I'm working on making the idea from this post into a one shot. That bit of ramble is 222 words. That part of the story that I'm actually writing became 1931 words. It's gonna be a long-ass project.)

From there, I workshop with friends and my partner. If I'm rambling directly in discord, I'm rolling with some of what my friends are telling me. My partner asks me the really annoying necessary questions, like "why this scene?" and "does that help get you to the smut?" and "are you letting your blorbo be a blorbo or are you trying to force a story you don't want to tell?"

Then I write a first draft. Sometimes the first draft is the only draft, but that's not the case very often anymore. I try to let myself be wordy and imperfect. Get the more detailed idea out in chunks of a few paragraphs, then reread and put in more details.

If there are multiple people in a scene, then I start with dialogue and inner thoughts, then physical actions. In this chapter of Autumn Embers, I wrote the dialogue between Gaz an Wildfire without any direction, then added in the handshakes, Wildfire arching an eyebrow, stepping to the side of the walkway, etc.

Then I let my partner read it! And he points out all of my typos.

Then I shuffle paragraphs around, and fill in spots that become a bit awkward, and then I show my partner again. And then I share it in the discord. Then I unashamedly BASK in the endorphins I get from my friends interacting with the story.

Then I rinse and repeat! Eventually, I identify where the chapter breaks are going to be, if I haven't already.

I do most of my writing in Scrivener, which allows you to write documents within documents and move them around. Sometimes I have chapters already separated. Sometimes I keep a long "working document" and then break it into chapters.

Tagging the people who I riff with often: @sentientcave, @gemmahale, @mortuarywriting, @mi-i-zori, @cordeliawhohung, @cosmicpro, and I'm missing so many other people who's blogs I can't recall off the top of my head or don't know if they'd be okay being tagged.

34. Five years from now, where do you see yourself as a writer?

Five years from now I'll still be writing fanfiction, though I'll probably have moved to other fandoms by then. I think I'll probably still write CoD, since I still love all of my past blorbos.

I think that by 2029, I will also be finishing up editing an original novel that I want to publish, if I'm not already publishing the second one. I've already written most of 3 novels, and plan to do another one next month.

I do not see myself writing full time, or relying on it as a source of income. I wouldn't be opposed, but I want my writing to be for me, first and foremost. When it's a job, it becomes about what other people want, and I don't think I'd be ready for that by then. Still, it would be fun to get the original stuff out there.

Ask Game

[darkrpfinders]

hello! you can call me xeno 🕷!

i am 18, nonbinary + genderfluid, and use any pronouns.

my sonic the hedgehog spinterest has resurfaced recently, and i'm eager to roleplay it!

my requirements + extra info

- please be within my age range (18+)

- please be capable of writing AT LEAST one paragraph (3-5+ sentences) per response. while i'm willing to write shorter when the time calls for it (motivation, plot, etc) i usually write up to a few paragraphs

- please be comfortable with frequent ooc communication. i am very active in discussing where our plot is gonna go as well as rambling about our characters c: (+ additionally, i would like a bit of ooc chat before we begin our roleplay. i have a lot of headcanons pertaining to certain characters i'd like to share + fetch your approval on!)

- i respond very quickly, most often same day especially when we're writing shorter. my motivation can be sporadic, however, and it might take me a couple days to reply

- i don't do dm roleplays, just because the unorganization of it drives me nuts ^^" i exclusively write on discord and i will make us a server!

- i am all about randomness. if we suddenly have new ideas or plotlines, even if it goes against something already established, that's okay!

- my roleplays aren't for the faint of heart. i love darker subjects and ones generally seen as taboo by others. smut, violence, murder, mental health struggles, pregnancy (yes, in detail from start to finish) and much more. i am very open minded in this aspect lol (+ my only discomforts are incest and minor x adult.)

- i love shipping, especially rarepairs and ones that just don't make sense

- on the topic of shipping, i predominantly write my characters as trans, gay, and overall lgbtq+ (but i like hetero ships too).

- i can do just about any character, i would like if we split up who writes who. i can do any ship too, but i for sure wanna include mephinite ( + mephiles and infinite, with me as infinite.) all in all we can play matchmaker with our characters and decide who we want together before we start.

while i'm not willing to budge on certain guidelines, i'm overall lax and will tweak based on your needs, just ask!

what are we doing?

- i am interested in going a future generation route, playing through our characters lives (and testing how much we can ruin it /silly) we'll mostly be portraying the og characters (and their offspring wayyyy later down the line.) we can come up with a starting plot and wing it from there. i'm unfortunately not open to ocs beyond fanchildren, apologies!

conclusion

i know my guidelines seem very strict but i promise i'm chill :") i'm just very particular in what i'm seeking lol. but yeah reply to ops post with a basic intro and i'll be in touch!

.

[ryebreadedd]

Ifyou ever really REALLY want to know abt my ocs my mutuals can dm me on discord (Ryebreadedd) and ill give you unorganized rambles that make no sense and stupid drawings

[byuka]

it's been a minute! Several minutes. Apologies for the continued radio silence. Hope y'all are well and hydrated. Have a doodle! And below that, some unorganized rambles on what I've been up to while I haven't been able to stream.

vvv Offline ramble time below vvv

man, first thing, can I say that I just don't like the word Hiatus? I know it's what it's been but it has this weird, like, unintended finality to it. You ever have those words where you know what it means, but you can't help but assign some other connotation to it? Am I describing moist in a weird roundabout way?? Why do I bring this up? Uhhm.. second. for those who have supported me in my chill-vibe-spreading endeavors, whether it's just quietly vibing in the discord, the occasional hellos and memes, I can't tell you how much it means to me during these dumb ISP problems. It's one of the major pushes for me in the model work.

I'm tantalizingly close to finalizing the artwork. Frustratingly close to not being close to done with the model lol. It's been a learning process on so many levels, but applying what I've learned from the other models has been mega fulfilling. Once I've got the model pieced out and in Live2d proper, I'll finally let myself share what I've been working on. I really can't wait to show ;v; Other than that? Just trucking on in these weird times with the help of husband and close friends. Brainstorming content for stream. And just quietly vibing in my lane, trying to make the best use of time while I stare at my lawn wherein the fiber is physically under right now. The literal fiber cord is in the dirt. I saw them put it there. And I eagerly await the flyers for it in the mail. Whenever that is ;v; But it is there.

Anywho. If you've read all this, I cannot refund your time, but know I'm grateful for any amount of support. Even if you skipped to this wrap-up paragraph <3 Y'all are the best. The kyutest. The loveliest. And I hope y'all have a lovely rest of your day/evening/timezone/etc <3 I'll see ya when I see ya!

[jacobsneed]

♜ I go by David (he/him) and I’m an autistic stoner in my 20s with a hyperfixation on far cry 5 :) I mainly post fc5 related stuff and OCs on here, and I have a more multifandom/personal blog @sluttypostaldude, my art +occasional writing blog @rottenpozzum, my OC sideblog @david-rambles, and my gta sideblog, @dimitrirascalov I also recently made an Ao3 acc: RottenPozzum! If we're mutuals, feel free to ask for my discord! Not super vocal, but I enjoy sending and seeing funny pictures!

Want to be added to the taglist for picrews/quizzes/wips/etc? leave a like on THIS post ♡＼(￣▽￣)／♡

Status: retired blog

Inbox: 3 💙 (oc asks for Cricket & Ljubica and Jacob x Cricket ship ask)

*Bold = mainly focused on

🎮 GAMES 🎮

Currently Playing:

Grand Theft Auto Online // Grand Theft Auto: Vice City //

Currently Replaying:

**PAUSED - Low Spoons**

Backburner:

Cyberpunk 2077 // Far Cry 5 // Grand Theft Auto IV //

Games to Play/Replay Next:

Baldur's Gate 3 // Code Vein // Mass Effect series // Dragon Age series // Mafia series // Dragon's Dogma // Dishonoured // Divinity: Original Sin 2 // Red Dead 2+online // GTA Trilogy Remastered // My Time At Portia // Stardew // L.A. Noire //

🖥️ TV Shows 🖥️

Currently Watching:

House MD //

Back Burner:

KUWTK // How to Get Away With Murder // The Good Place //

Watchlist:

The Young Pope // The Sopranos // Better Call Saul // Succession // Narcos // Arcane //

Tags

#david's ramblings - any posts made by me

#david's art - my art

#david writes - my writing

#wip - works in progress

#david's ocs - my characters

#david lore - anything about me

#oc: [name] - tag for my ocs

#tagged - picrews, quizzes, etc...

#references&resources - exactly as it says

#ask games - mainly oc ask games

#asks - answered asks

#judge not and queue will not be judged - queue

Other Blogs

@sluttypostaldude - unorganized personal/multifandom

@david-rambles - OC blog

@dimitrirascalov - gta blog

@rottenpozzum - art blog

[goldiipond]

hey. hey mutuals if yuore interested. my discord is cloudiiskye#8539 feel free to add me

[itssolonelyhere]

If your doing a new one why can't you update your jokesaku or madasaku fics too?

Hi, anon. It's not quite that simple. I mean, I definitely should update/finish my older stories before starting new ones. There are eight of them sitting on the back burner... I never intended to be one of those writers that left fics unfinished or on hiatus, yet here we are. Now, I understand some of those writers a bit more since I actually began writing myself. It's not always that easy.

Here's the thing. I'm not the kind of person who can work on multiple projects at one time. God knows I've tried. I told myself and others I can do it. But I've concluded that all it does is stress me out and nothing gets done. I'm someone who can't sit still, is unorganized, can't focus for long periods of time, and is a mess at the end of the day. Yet I still try to write chapters that are between 5-11k because I'm a big dummy that can't reel it in. And dyslexia only makes it more difficult.

I work a full-time and part-time job. I have bills to pay and a place to take care of. A partner, demon children (my cats), family, and friends that need me. So when I do get a little free time, I want to spend it doing something I'm excited about. That tends to be my current fixation at the time. Which is also something I can't necessarily control. Believe me, I've tried. Being in the middle of a project and losing what was once an all-consuming fixation on a ship/piece of media is heartbreaking. I can try to rekindle the flame but unless it happens organically, I'm screwed.

That happened recently. My fixations can last months, even a year or more. The last one was MadaSaku again (HeisenSaku and JokeSaku before that). Then the passion for it whittled away, little by little, until I was left spending months just trying to finish one chapter. It's agonizing. Eventually, it comes back. It's just the time in between that's hard. I'd sit at my table for hours on days off, staring at a single chapter and drawing a blank. I couldn't get anything done. In return, I'd feel embarrassed to the point I didn't even want to go on Discord and talk to my online friends. It might sound silly, but that's how it is...

Right now, I'm sucked into the Eddissy ship for Stranger Things. Seeing the gifs and fanart of those two ignited the feeling I was missing. It motivated and inspired me to write again after another long dry spell. The same way the other ships I write for did previously. I don't know how long it'll last, but I want to ride the wave for as long as I can.

So with the limited free time I have available, I'd rather spend it working on something that I'm excited about and actually putting out content than forcing myself to stare at a blank screen for hours while slowly spiraling into a self-loathing mess. For free, might I add. The only reason I do any of this is because I enjoy writing garbage and love hearing from readers.

This wasn't meant to be so long, but I've been getting quite a few messages like this recently. Especially on FF.net. Like, I spent hours over multiple days working on and editing a 5k+ Eddissy chapter, then get a review/DM saying "Nice so when are you finally going to update your JokeSaku fic, huh?" and it's just so... disheartening. I get it. Some of you are here for JokeSaku, MadaSaku, etc. And it's not fair to leave you hanging on an incomplete fic. It just doesn't feel great to have someone basically say, "if you have time to work on this crap you like, then you should also have spare time to write the things I actually want to read." I don't know... This is just me explaining and rambling about what's going on from my end.

[ddepressedbookworm]

hi. please fuck off if u r:

any of these

zionist

pro-life

fatphobic

ableist

a person who supports jkr and her work

i’m a minor, anyone who’s weird or anything in the asks or dms will be immediately blocked and reported.

I’ll respect your opinion as long as your opinion doesn’t disrespect anybody’s existence.

hello! welcome to my blog. it is a shithole. i have no idea why you’re here but enjoy!! (i guess?) anyway feel free to pop in my inbox or anything :) i’m usually bored anyway

—

things i will tag as tws.

violence (eg blood, gore)

nsfw content (eg links to explicit fics on ao3)

flash warning

sa mentions (for awareness only!)

suicide mentions (i joke about it a lot. so.)

tell me if you need me to tag anything; i don’t mind

—

about me.

name: shan

pronouns: he/they

is there anything else you need to know?? idk

—

fun (?) facts.

im the eldest child

i can speak 3 languages (english, chinese and indonesian)

i am really really really obsessive just like in general

—

other social media.

ao3

spotify

pinterest

@ratttgay is my dan and phil sideblog!

dm for discord

i do have instagram but it’s bold of you to assume i’ll tell you

—

important tags:

my tag for my shitposts: #shan rambles

my queue: #queue the applause , #queue better miss me while i’m gone and #q (i just got tired tagging all of them)

my tag for my writing, edits, whatever: #shan gets randomly motivated

my tag for that really long bsd reaction post: #shan watches bsd

—

what you may find here.

everything you see here is just a giant unorganized dump.

you will see these things on my blog:

BOOKS:

- all for the game

- riordanverse

- the shadowhunter chronicles

- grishaverse

- heartstopper

TV SHOWS:

- criminal minds

- over the garden wall

- gravity falls

- rick and morty

- hazbin hotel & helluva boss

- brooklyn 99

- young royals

- voltron

- buzzfeed unsolved

ANIMES:

- bungou stray dogs

- jujutsu kaisen

- sk8 the infinity

- yuri!!! on ice

PEOPLE:

- so much (for stardust) fall out boy

- my chemical romance

- dan and phil

- drag race

- ETHEL CAIN

- boygenius + the individual members

- taylor swift

- halsey

- conan gray

- bo burnham

—

you’ve gotten through this entire thing? wonderful. now you know an absurd amount of information about me without even needing to talk to me

right. so i'll see ya soon? okay. bye.

[starlit-bawka]

Intro Post Because I Never Made One

▹Yo, my name's Bawka and this is my long overdue intro post because I realized I should make a guide to my bullshit blog

▹You can also find me on ao3 @ starlitbawka, youtube @ starlitbawka, and my neocities, whenever i make it. DM for my discord! ▹Currently fixated on the DSMP, Trigun, Homestuck, and MP100, but other fandoms pop up, too, considering this is my main blog and I'm majorly unorganized lmao ▹Pronouns are he/yip/caw/quack, and I'm nonbinary & ace Tagging and other info under the cut because I talk too much

▹If you want to hear my general ramblings (often analysis or shitposting) it's all under #Bawka Squawks. Any and all art done by me goes under #Bawkart. Any recent lore I'm reacting to or discussing will be under #[FANDOM] spoilers as long as I remember to tag it. My fanfiction/writing tag is #Bawka Writes, but I don't often promote writing here because I'm shy lmao ▹#Forfeits All My Mortal Possessions To Him is my silly tag for when I get too crazy about Quackity posts ▹#Bebou is my silly tag for when I get too crazy about BBH posts ▹Fandoms I tag (when I remember) are Mob Psycho 100, Homestuck, Sanders Sides, JRWI, JJK, TWF, FMA, NGE, Trigun ▹Trigger warnings tend to be tagged the same as they are on the OG post, or with #tw [subject]. I tend not to tag TWs unless they're eyestrain or very major, though, cause I forget.

▹Feel free to spam like/reblog and talk to me if ever you want I'm lonely and have a lot of free time! I actually encourage talking to me ▹gods biggest pumpkinduoer and cSam defender. nobody gets cSam like Bawka gets cSam ▹My favorite DSMP characters are Quackity, Sam, Fundy, Tubbo, Schlatt, and BBH. Do with that what you will. ▹I see a big divide between characters and content creators !! Seeing me post/reblog a post with a character who's played by a CC that is a shit person does not mean I like or condone the CC. I've been into MCRP for a long fucking time let me brainrot about the cubitos in peace

[felidaeng]

Do you have a discord server that you dump hilbertverse stuff

sorta. it's just used to keep track of everyone's teams (+ my own personal teams i plan ahead of playing thru games) though, so there isn't anything you're missing. i dump pretty much all my thoughts on the extended hilbertverse on my ramble twitter, feiidaen ... buuut it's very unorganized. might make a moment or something for ease of access later

[wolfgangism]

hello!! im kavi, he/they, 19, and im in the est timezone. i’m usually in class or in the lab during the day but i’ll be here in the night and i’m always accessible on discord! this is my kiddo, wolf. if you wanna plot just smash that like button and i’ll IM you here ( but i prefer discord ( so if you wanna shoot me a message instead, my username is greedling#3129 )) . ok lets get into this but before i start rambling: TRANS RIGHTS !!

APPLICATION

∽∕  [ JEON JEONGGUK, AGENDER, THEY/THEM ] hey! you must be that [ TWENTY-TWO ] year old player people were talking about! they kept saying your name is [ WOLFGANG JAEGAL ], but that you go by [ WOLF ], and that you’re a [ INTRIM ] and from [ LOS ANGELES ]. oh! and also that you’ve been working as a [ HORROR WRITER ] while you’re in here. I really hope it’s true, ‘cus i’ve also heard that you’re [ IMAGINATIVE ] & [ COURAGEOUS ], but i’m not going to lie that some say you’re [ UNORGANIZED ] & [ IRRESPONSIBLE ]. wait a second…now that I think about it, you kind of remind me of [ BLINKING NEON LIGHTS, FRUSTRATED TYPING, AND HEARTBEATS QUICKENING AT A JUMP SCARE ], which is pretty cool! see you around then!  ∕∽

TRIGGER WARNINGS: DISCUSSION OF TRANSITIONING, MENTIONS OF CHEATING, DRUG USE

STATISTICS

► basics;

birth name (f, l): daeun jaegal legal name (f, l): wolfgang jaegal age: 22 birthday: may 16 gender: agender (afab) sexual orientation: pan occupation: horror author main realm: they don’t really have a main one, they go everywhere. ► background;

place of birth: canada current residence: los angeles, california education: bachelor’s in creative writing ► physical;

faceclaim: jeon jeongguk eye color: dark brown-black  hair color & style: dark brown, that long-ish haire that jjk has rn.. yea height: 5′9 weight: 153 lb tattoos, birthmarks, scars, etc: scars on chest where they had top surgery. in game: everything is the same except they have ‘typical’ cismale anatomy. they are interested in modifications but haven’t really found anything that interests them yet.

► personality;

positive traits: imaginative, courageous, adventurous, persuasive,  negative traits: reckless, unorganized, irresponsible, stubborn alignment: chaotic good more: wolf is not one to feel regretful. they live in the moment and stand by every statement and action they make. act first, think later. willing to try anything once. will never back down from a challenge. pits themself against their own mortality. facade of being fearless. high spirited mischief maker. 

► misc;

hobbies: gaming, watching/reading horror movies favorite book: if asked directly, they would say their own first published novel, but really it’s carmilla by joseph sheridan le fanu favorite music genre: wolf is the type of person to listen to game and movie soundtracks pets: can barely take care of themself, you think they’re going to have a pet?

BIOGRAPHY

wolf was born daeun jaegal. their biological mother wasn’t prepared for children, not when she had college to finish and when her boyfriend (& wolf’s biological father) was flaky at best. she gave wolf up to her older cousin who couldn’t have biological children of her own. she took wolf in with welcoming arms and raised them as her own child. wolf grew up calling her mom and her husband dad. their biological mother visited often, and eventually told them the story.

when wolf reached the age of five, they began to feel very uncomfortable with themself. when they told this to their mom, she took it seriously and they began to discuss what was going on. around this time, she started referring to them with they/them pronouns and noticed that they were a lot happier in general.

for financial reasons, wolf was unable to go under puberty blockers. instead, when they reached 12, they went with their parents to get their first name legally changed. due to their recent fascination with classical music and wolves.... they decided on the name wolfgang. their mom only agreed to it because they would be able to shorten it to wolf (which they do. the only place their full name appears is on the cover of their books. theyre sort of embarrassed by it but much too lazy to actually go and get it changed again or to even come up with another name).

at 16, their parents surprised them with testosterone. they actually cried. 

at 18, their first boyfriend (who was filthy rich) surprised them with the money that wolf needed to get top surgery. they cried equally as much this time, if not more. 

while all this was happening, at fifteen, wolf actually began on the first draft of their first book. it was really really rough but it was a start. they had an interest in horror since they were a kid. before they started the draft, writing had been one of their only outlets in life. they’d tried singing and music but unfortunately, they were tone deaf and couldnt hold a note for their life. poetry and songwriting wasnt their calling either. what they excelled at, however, was scaring his classmates to death with their short stories.

their first book was published when they were nineteen. it got very popular very quickly and is currently being produced into a movie.

their second book was published just last year right before graduating college and was just as popular as the first. they actually had little to no inspiration for this one. they took lsd a few times at parties, which helped them come up with some ideas. they havent told anyone and they intend it to stay that way.

right after that, they ended the relationship with their boyfriend since highschool (the same one who got them top surgery). their relationship for the past few years had been on/off at best due to wolf suspecting him of cheating, which he was doing. the break up was messy and ended with wolfgang crying for the third time in their life. 

they were thrown into a pretty bad depression, and tried writing again but it was fruitless. nothing they were writing was clicking and people had high expectations that they were afraid they couldnt meet. this also influenced their dysphoria. drug use and drinking increased, and mixing with testosterone was not good at all. they ended up in the hospital after a particularly bad night.

they refused any and all treatment.

wolf decided to use utopia as an escape from life and a way to enjoy themself without worrying about real life. they are also using it to gather inspiration for a new book because they are nothing without their writing. their mom is taking care of their real body.

that’s really all i have. i can’t think of anything else but im surely missing something that i’ll add at a later point. i’ll upload a connections page later. if you made it this far then congrats! heres a gif of them thinking very hard.

[maydaymadier]

Based on a discord ramble I had last night

So, in Good Omens, on the rare occasion, someone calls Aziraphale by his full title (I think it’s only once when he’s put on ‘trial’) he’s called “Principality Aziraphale, Angel of the Eastern Gate”...which, raises some questions.  Gabriel, Michael, Uriel, and (I assume) Sandalphon are all archangels, which, if Aziraphale is a Principality, he’s a higher rank than all of them.  So that gives us a few options for how the archangels are ordering Aziraphale around

Is Heaven just kind of doing whatever?  'Take any warm body' recruitment strategy for the great plan?

Is Heaven under martial law and the Archangels are now effectively in charge of the execution of the great plan?

Is Aziraphale so deeply nonconfrontational he doesn’t want to use his rank to shut them down when he’s given orders?

Is it just these four archangels who have been given special Great Plan Privileges?

Heaven seems a lot less organized than Hell.  Hell has to take care of the hellhound and the antichrist, file paperwork for various acts of evil, give presentations to councils to propose evil plans.  Heaven seems to be Important angels giving an order every couple hundred years.  Are they just so unorganized that these archangels can just do whatever they want?