#in this case i firmly believe that the whole baby thing was actually a hallucination bc even though i DO NOT trust lottie

[transxfiles]

for once everyone else is having kind of a normal one on yellowjackets, meanwhile shauna's out here living the plot of rosemary's baby..

[decandantfics]

I Need You

A/N – This story went in a very different direction to what I originally intended to write when one of the plot ideas first came to mind. No disrespect is intended towards either Ant or Dec or those involved in these events. It is obviously a fictional story based on true events.  I sincerely hope my story doesn't offend anyone.

Everything happened in slow motion. The black-and-red Mini careened around a corner at high speed, crossing over into the opposite lane and crashing nearly head-on into an oncoming car, before swerving again due to the impact and smashing head first into a parked car. The Mini finally came to a stop with an ear-shattering crash as the entire front end of the car was crushed by the impact. An eerie silence followed the melee, as multiple bystanders were shocked into stillness by what they'd just witnessed. Finally, one of them pulled out their phone and dialed 999, speaking urgently into their mobile as they gave the location of the accident and detailed the number of cars involved. It wasn't looking good for the occupant(s) of the black-and-red Mini, they said – there appeared to be at least two occupants in the car, and neither one of them was moving. The occupants of the other two cars were slowly emerging, seeming dazed and shaken, but otherwise okay. Seemingly an eternity later, emergency services arrived on the scene, mostly crowding around the completely pulverized black-and-red Mini while a few paramedics checked over the others involved in the crash. As a short, brown-haired bystander drew closer to the scene in curiousity, a shout was heard from one of the first responders: "We have a pulse on the female passenger! Let's get her out!" Meanwhile, the flurry of activity that had been concentrated on accessing the driver's side of the car, which had been completely mangled in the collision, suddenly slowed. As the bystander drew ever closer, ignoring the warnings from emergency responders to stay away from the area, a quiet statement was heard as access to the driver of the vehicle was secured. "The male is deceased. Get the gurney." Horrified by those words, the nosy pedestrian stilled for a moment before deciding to move even closer as curiousity got the better of them. Now basically in the way of the first responders as they worked to extract the driver from the vehicle, the person watched on in silence as the morbid rescue mission played out in front of them. As the first responders finally managed to extract the deceased man from the car, the bystander gasped. No, no, it couldn't be!!! No, please no, not him, he can't be dead! The emergency responders whirled around in surprise as they heard a loud, heartbroken wail sound from behind them as they placed the deceased man on the gurney and covered him with a sheet....

                                                       ~~~

Ali slept peacefully on her side in the small hours of the morning, comfortably nestled in a cocoon of blankets. It had been a long, exhausting day, and with a baby on the way, nothing was going to stop her from getting the rest she – and her growing little one – needed. She had had a horrible time convincing her husband to come to bed with her when she eventually crawled under the covers just after midnight; he had had a very rough day, and was utterly distraught. She knew he needed rest, but she could see in his haunted eyes that he didn't actually want to sleep. He was still waiting to hear an update on the horrific event that had happened earlier that day, and didn't want to go to sleep until he knew what was going on. In the end, though, Ali worked her charm and managed to convince him to slide under the covers and at least try to get some shut-eye. "Turn your phone volume down a bit and leave it on – you can even put it on your pillow if you like, but just please try to get some rest, love," she had pleaded with him. Caving to her gentle request, Dec had placed the phone next to him on the bedside table – within easy reach in case of a call or text coming in. Closing his eyes, a strangled sigh forced its way out of him, at which his wife reached over to him under the covers and squeezed his hand, soothingly stroking it with her thumb until her breaths evened out and she fell into a deep sleep. On the other side of the bed, her husband did not have such an easy time of falling asleep. In fact, he didn't expect to sleep a wink tonight, at least not until he got an update on his friend, and even then it was doubtful. His mind raced in circles, never really reaching its destination – his thoughts too jumbled to be made sense of in his overwrought state.

It had been nearly 8 hours since he'd received a call from his "second mother," Christine, informing him that she and her son – his best friend of 29 years – had been involved in a car accident. Those words had sucked the air straight out of his lungs, causing him to sit down abruptly on a kitchen chair as fear for his friend gripped him. It was a good thing that chair had been there, because the next shaky words that left her mouth would have knocked him clean to the ground: "Ant's failed a breathalyzer test, the police have arrested him and are taking him in for questioning." A very far away voice – was that his voice? – could be heard choking out a horrified, "WHAT?!?"

In some ways, the numbness that came with the shock Christine's words had instilled in him was a blessing. In the background of the call, Dec picked out a familiar, terrified, but almost sort of belligerent voice. Hearing that voice was what broke him, but the explosion of pain was lost on his paralyzed senses. This was actually real, it wasn't some bizarre hallucination or a bad dream...Right? Dec pinched himself, hoping desperately that he would wake up and find that it had been a nightmare brought on by too much stress and too little sleep. No such luck. He still didn't recognize the sound of his own voice as he urgently questioned Christine: "Are either of you hurt?" Upon hearing her reassurance that they were both physically okay – very shaken up and a bit bruised and battered, but otherwise uninjured, Dec felt the tightness in his chest dissipate a tiny bit, allowing him to draw in much-needed oxygen. His mouth seemed unable to form words as his mind shut down in stubborn protest. He was dimly aware of Christine asking him if he was okay, but he couldn't answer. Her concerned voice drifted in one ear and out the other, he was unable to focus on anything. She finally gave up at trying to get a response and ended the call with a promise to let him know as soon as she had an update on the situation.

Ali bustled into the kitchen cheerfully, chattering brightly to Rocky, who followed at her heels attentively, hoping her journey to the kitchen might result in a tasty treat for him. He stopped short, though, puzzled by the energy emanating from his master, who seemed to have turned into a statue, seemingly unable to see him even as he clawed at his pant legs and barked worriedly at him. Rocky's odd behavior caused Ali to pivot on her heel, only then becoming aware of her husband's presence at the kitchen table. Her blood ran cold as she saw his facial expression. His face was completely blank, eyes unseeing and ears unhearing, his gaze fixed on some point in the distance even as she urgently tried to get his attention. He seemed frozen in place – paralyzed, even – and Ali had never been more terrified. It went without saying that something terrible had happened to precipitate his current stupor, but what? There were really only two things that could place Dec in such a state – a tragedy in his family or....Oh, no, not Ant. Noticing his mobile phone gripped tightly in his right hand, Ali stepped up to him and gently but firmly pried it out of his grasp. Quickly unlocking it, she noted that the most recently used app was the phone. With shivering fingers, Ali tapped on Dec's call history, unsure as to what she would find. Her heart stopped for a moment when she saw Christine Woodhall's contact listed as the most recent call. Oh, goodness, it was Ant!

Dec was still completely unresponsive, and Ali was terrified out of her wits now, fearing the worst. Rocky was still barking at his master frantically, teeth pulling at his sweatpants with all his might in between barks. Ali couldn't believe what she was doing as she drew her hand back and slapped her husband's cheek hard in desperation. A red mark formed on Dec's cheek where she had hit him, and she winced inwardly. But the smarting of his skin seemed to have had the desired effect, as her husband's eyes slowly focused and he became aware of his surroundings. Wide eyes turned towards her as his hand rose to his aching cheek, but his facial expression remained blank. "Declan, love, what's happened? You're scaring me," Ali said gently, reaching a hand out towards her partner, lightly touching his shoulder. Still no response. But he apparently had regained his sense of hearing, as his eyes met hers again. Deciding the best course of action would be to make him a hot cup of tea and try to move him somewhere more comfortable – his lower back had been bothering him lately, and sitting in their kitchen chairs exacerbated the problem – she let him be for a few moments. As she filled the kettle and clicked it on, she heard him take in a long, shuddering breath, and then silence reigned once more. Rocky was now sitting quietly at his master's feet, big puppy eyes staring up at him in confusion as he tilted his head first one way and then another – if the whole situation hadn't been so strange and terrifying, Ali would have laughed at how adorable their little pup looked right now. But this most definitely wasn't a time for laughter.

Focusing once again on the task at hand, Ali moved around the table to her husband's side, sliding her hands onto his soft jumper and placing them underneath his arms while lifting slightly – motioning with her head for him to stand up. As if in a daze, Dec rose from his seat, only to nearly collapse back into it again as his legs gave way. Holding him firmly, worry and panic seized Ali as she just barely managed to keep them both upright. Carefully guiding him into the lounge, she pushed him down onto the plush sofa before hurrying back to the kitchen as the kettle began to boil. Placing the steaming mug of tea into her husband's pliant fingers, Ali sank down next to him and softly ordered him to drink the hot liquid, resigned to waiting for an explanation until the shock began to wear off a bit. Shivers ran through his body as he impassively regarded the tea in his mug, taking small sips every few seconds like an automaton. Concerned, Ali lifted the warm blanket off the back of the sofa and wrapped it snugly around Dec, realizing that his skin was ice cold. Some time later, Dec had drained all of the tea from his cup, and a slight tinge of pink had returned to his previously colorless cheeks, even though he was still perched woodenly on the edge of the sofa, frozen in limbo by the protective numbing of his mind.

Ali decided it was safe to try to reach him again, as she removed the mug from his hands and placed it on the coffee table. Wrapping her arms around his chest from behind, she pulled him into a soft embrace and held him there. Tenderly placing a kiss on his cheek where the mark of her blow was still visible, Ali whispered softly, "Please tell me what's happened. You're scaring me." Dec's eyes finally met hers again, and this time, there was recognition in them. Lucidity gradually returned, but with it came a storm Ali could never have quite predicted. Before her very eyes, a kaleidoscope of emotions swirled inside Dec's irises: fear, horror, grief, despair, pain, and then an indescribable fury that made Ali's breath catch in her chest as she shrunk away from his wild gaze.

OK, that was definitely not what she was expecting. Anger? What on earth had happened?! But then the rage in his eyes faded, and was replaced by what Ali could only describe as heartbroken devastation. Dec's eyes filled with tears, and he began to weep bitterly, hiding his face in Ali's neck as his sobs increased in volume and intensity. Several minutes of tense silence followed his breakdown.

"Ant's been arrested for drink-driving."

Ali's heart stopped. His words had been so quietly spoken that she had to replay them in her mind a couple of times before she could be sure of what he'd said. And even then, a hushed, "What did you say?" passed by her lips, needing to make sure she'd heard him correctly.

"Christine called me. Ant crashed his car and was arrested. He failed the breathalyzer."

There was a definite edge of anger to his tone now, and his eyes flashed dangerously again, the tension in his body increasing by the second. A moment later, though, he dissolved into tears yet again, sobbing brokenly:

"Ant would never do that, Ali, he would never! It has to be a mistake, please tell me this isn't happening. Please, please, please....!"

His words became lost in the fervor of his grief, the room silent except for his choked sobs and labored breaths as he began to hyperventilate, his mental anguish blinding him to everything but the stabbing pain in his heart as reality sunk in with horrifying gravity. Realizing Dec was slipping into a panic attack, Ali acted quickly, trying to remember what she had seen Ant do on the one occasion in the distant past when she had been witness to one of Dec's rare panics. Nothing worked to snap him out of his hysteria, so she resigned herself to waiting it out with him, pulling him to her chest and calmingly stroking his hair while placing loving kisses on his forehead.

It was several minutes later when Dec managed to break himself out of his panicked state. But pained silence now replaced his previously frenzied state. One look at his broken, disbelieving expression told Ali that speaking was not an option right now. He just simply needed someone – anyone – to be there with him. As quiet settled over the room – Rocky had decided it was now safe to join his master and mistress on the sofa, curling up on Dec's lap and nudging his hand with his nose, trying to help his distressed friend in his own small way – Ali began to process what had happened. This changed everything. Having been a celebrity talent manager for many years now, she knew exactly what this would do to her boys' career. Ant and Dec might be over, this might be the end of the line. It was far too early to tell, but the consequences of Ant's actions – assuming this wasn't actually a mistake – were unimaginable. Actually, no, with her vast experience as a manager she could imagine the consequences, but she preferred to pretend that she couldn't.

Her heart broke for her husband and his best friend. She knew Dec had been worried about Ant for months now, and had confided in her just a few short weeks ago that he was concerned that the latest series of Saturday Night Takeaway would prove too much for Ant. Ant and Dec's job was highly pressurized – they were such consummate, experienced professionals that they made it look easy to the viewers at home – but they worked incredibly hard and held a lot of responsibility on their shoulders as ITV's most prized possessions. And with the pain Ant was suffering privately as he went through a very public and messy divorce, and the constant scrutiny from the press, Dec had good reason to be concerned. Her husband was very sensitive when it came to emotions, and he knew Ant wasn't being entirely truthful whenever Dec asked him how he was doing. She realized Dec would probably be blaming himself for Ant's breakdown sooner rather than later, berating himself for not having done more to prevent his friend's downfall. Her husband was going to need her more than ever before.

The couple eventually separated, Ali pressing a kiss to Dec's head as she stood and headed towards her home office. She knew her phone was probably ringing off the hook, and even though she wasn't officially the boys' manager anymore, she was going to throw herself wholeheartedly into trying to help them sort this mess out. Closing the door behind her, she steeled herself for the onslaught to come as soon as she unlocked her phone. Sure enough, 25 missed calls and multiple messages and emails faced her. Sighing, Ali set to work, hoping desperately that there was still a way to save Ant and Dec from destruction....

The rest of the day passed by at different speeds for the two human occupants of the Donnelly residence. Rocky had effectively velcroed himself to Dec's side, licking away his salty tears when he cried and persistently nudging at his hand with his nose until Dec started petting him again when he got lost in a black train of thought. Ali was overwhelmed with work as the news broke to the world that Ant McPartlin of Ant and Dec had been arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol. She ventured out of her office from time to time to check on Dec, finding him in almost the same slumped position on the sofa every time. She had tried to break into his dark train of thought a couple of times, but after he viciously snapped at her once – telling her he just wanted to be alone – she decided to leave him be. He refused any semblance of dinner, his face alternating between a dark storm cloud of rage and the visage of a broken man as he dared himself to venture online and read what Ali told him was one of the more trustworthy reports of what had happened today. Heartbreak eventually won out as the most prominent of his emotions when he saw the photos of Ant, only replaced by a look of horror when he noted the extent of damage to the cars involved in the collision. Tears of relief dripped down his features as he thanked God that Ant, Christine, and everyone else involved had been kept safe from harm. Ali eventually had to pry the laptop out of his hands when he continually read and re-read the article, shaking his head disbelievingly and muttering to himself unintelligibly. It was obvious he still couldn't believe what had happened, still had a shred of hope deep down inside that this was all a terrible mistake and his best friend's name would be cleared of any wrongdoing...She had known this would be hard, but she didn't think it would be this hard.

The man she had known for nigh on 20 years now had disappeared. The person in front of her was a shell of himself, the mischievous spark gone out of his eyes, his normally animated features clouded over by misery. It broke her heart to see him like this, especially as he had been oh-so-happy for weeks now after he and Ali had discovered that, after years of fruitless trying, they were expecting a child. In a rare moment of letting her emotions rule her, Ali cursed the universe for having ruined what should be the happiest time of their lives. There was no knowing how Dec would cope in the long run if he and Ant lost their career, or, worse still, lost each other. Deep down, she knew their love for each other was unconditional, but this was the toughest ever test of their relationship. She shuddered to think what would happen if their friendship was unable to survive this unexpected blow.

                                                        ~~~

Shooting upright in bed, Dec gasped painfully for air as his throat closed and pain filled his being. Saliva pooled in his mouth as an image from his dream burned unrelentingly into his retinas. Ant. Dead. Bolting off of the mattress with a pained sob, he dashed into the en suite, just barely getting there in time before retches racked his body. There was nothing in his stomach – all he brought up was bile and stomach acid which burned at his throat. Sobs shook his small frame as he leaned back against the bathroom tiles. He couldn't bear the thought of losing Ant.

Wait. That had been a dream, right? His overtired mind played tricks on him, causing him to doubt himself. Mindful of Ali – hopefully – still asleep in their bed, Dec tried to control his ragged breathing as he crept back into the bedroom and grabbed his phone off of the nightstand, noting the time. He had lain awake for over 2 hours, just waiting, waiting for word to come that Ant had been released from the police station, but none had come. He must have fallen asleep for maybe a quarter of an hour, as it was now just after 2:30am.

He battled with himself for a few brief moments before opening his text messages. His thumb hovered over Ant's name before resolutely tapping it, opening their message thread. Unable to help himself, the lingering terror of his dream still hovering in his mind, he typed out a short message and quickly sent it before he could chicken out and change his mind: "Are you okay? I need you."

He lost track of how long he sat in darkness, his sad gaze fixed on the black, unchanging screen of his phone. A sudden buzz and flash of light broke him out of his silent reverie, two words simultaneously breaking his heart and causing him to breathe a sigh of relief: "I'm sorry."

Hurriedly tiptoeing out of the bedroom and locking himself away in his office, he hit "Call." He wasn't going to keep him long, he told himself, he just needed to hear his voice, make sure he was okay. It took a few rings for Ant to pick up, but when he did, Dec barely recognized the sorrowful, broken voice that answered the phone. His heart shattered yet again as he heard Ant's stuttering breaths crackling through the line. It was obvious he was crying. He wanted nothing more than to go 'round to Ant's and protect him from everything he was facing, but he knew Ali would kill him if he did that. There would be paparazzi outside both their homes by now, he was sure of it, and rushing over to Ant's in the middle of the night – dressed in his PJs – would make the tabloids' day.

Dec had known as soon as Ant answered the phone that it was all true, he had driven drunk, it wasn't a mistake. He felt strangely calm now that he knew the truth, all anger temporarily washed away by concern for the broken man on the other end of the line. Softly, Dec started, "It's okay, Ant, I still love you," before continuing, "Please, please promise me you won't do anything stupid. I need you, I can't live without you, man. Don't think I'm not angry, 'cause I am, I'm bloody furious, but I can promise you that we'll get through this, you and me together." His voice faltered as his love for Ant nearly overwhelmed him, "I want you to know that, no matter what happens, you're never going to be on your own out there. I'll always be there for you, no matter what. I love you. Please promise me you'll never leave me." His voice quivered with emotion as he pleaded with his one true friend, the man who had stood by his side through thick and thin for 29 years. He could hear Ant's breathy sobs on the other end of the line, but he knew he'd gotten his point across. He didn't really expect to get a coherent reply from Ant right now, but he stayed on the line, unwilling to leave his friend alone in his time of need. Minutes dragged past in silence as both men listened to the other's ragged breathing as they fought with their emotions. At long last, Ant's voice crackled through the line, merely a whisper. "I promise, Dec. I love you, too." And with that, the line went dead, leaving Dec with a raging sea of emotions that he couldn't control. But of all the waves of emotion that were crashing through his mind relentlessly, the strongest were love for, and a fierce protectiveness of, the man who had promised to never leave him alone in this cruel, cruel world. And as long as he was alive on this earth, he would never give up on Ant, he would never stop loving him or caring for him. No matter what this life threw at them, they had made a vow all those years ago to always be there for each other, and that was a vow Dec would keep to his dying day. I promise you, Ant, we'll get through this. Together.