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randomshyperson · 5 months ago

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hello!! I hope you are well. May I add a request to the “touch ask” game? Wanda-Touch-25? Please and thank you. Maybe as a continuation of Wanda and Kryptonian reader?This pairing of my new favourite and you write it so beautifully.

thanks for everything!

Wanda Maximoff x Reader - Drabbles

prompt: stroking the other's arm soothingly | words: 1123 | warnings: fluff, violence (?), previously agreed mind control, some touching but nothing inappropriate (the Avengers would disagree ofc).

challenge masterlist | general masterlist

-&-

Kryptonians had indestructible and invulnerable bodies. They were bulletproof, heatproof, or coldproof. You could probably out-strength gods like Thor or radioactive monsters like the Hulk.

But magic? Well, that was different.

Somehow, magic could break through every biological barrier in your body and bring you to your knees.

That was precisely why Natasha Romanoff always had Wanda as your training partner.

"Come on, guys, no slacking off. I want four sequences, everyone." The widow announced with a warning clap, while the entire team groaned in unison. Even the super soldiers present had some difficulty completing the demanding exercises of a black widow.

You were moving to grab your training gloves for the exercise circuit when Natasha called your name. "Not so fast, little alien. You and Maximoff, mat."

Wanda smiled contentedly at the same time you sighed in discouragement, just as the team got excited and started whistling. See, you were indestructible. Watching you get your ass kicked every now and then was everyone's favorite pastime there. Ignoring Natasha's smirk as you passed her, you tried to stay positive about the whole thing. At least you were working on your humility with your favorite person in the world.

"I'll go easy on you." Wanda assured you, already on the mat, hands in a fighting position. You chuckle, imitating her defensive stance, even though it wouldn't make any difference.

"As if."

Truth be told, you're the one who always goes easy on her. Wanda has the magical advantage, of course, but that's it. If you wanted, you could use your speed to easily immobilize her. But the risk of hurting her small human body - a caution you don't need to take with fellow gods or augmented beings - is too high.

So the most you can guarantee to make her training difficult is to dodge her energy attacks, until she loses her patience and stops acting like a sniper, and starts acting like a real witch.

You stumble gently as you feel the familiar invasion. It's like being intoxicated. Wanda is always gentle when she does this. She's learned to hone her mind control very well, without having to reduce her opponents to babbling versions of pure panic. Now, she can enchant them like a mermaid, or perhaps, she only chooses to do it this way with you.

The gym around you becomes a little blurry, and all you see clearly is her, smiling victoriously at you.

"Ready to call it a defeat? Or do you want me to kick your ass a little longer?" She teases as she takes slow steps towards you. It's an illusion, of course, you're sure she hasn't even moved a muscle in reality, and all of this shouldn't have taken more than a second.

You chuckle weakly. This kind of thing has been getting more and more dangerous. Keeping secrets from someone who occasionally plays with your mind is very difficult. Wanda taught you to stay calm in these situations, but all you can do is remind yourself that you're keeping your feelings buried, away from her, and you start to despair.

She notices your anxiety, and the confidence disappears from her expression.

"Hey, are you alright?" She asks, maybe this time, her footsteps towards you were real. You're panicked enough that you can't tell the difference.

Freaking out during a mind control is stupid. And even worse for someone who has powers like yours. Wanda gets close enough to touch your face, and you remember last week when you accidentally saw too much skin when she changed clothes in your room. The shame and guilt return, and you pull away, terrified that she will be able to see that memory.

Your panic in that vulnerable state stimulates your powers, and Wanda exclaims in surprise when the beam of your heat vision advances and grazes near her head. Her fright interrupts the magic, and your release is immediate when Wanda hits your shoulder with a strong magical expel, which throws you about three steps back.

Natasha crosses her arms in disapproval and all the Avengers are looking at you two, while a new hole in the ceiling of the academy appears.

"What the hell you two! What did I tell you about mind tricks?" The black Widow inquires in disapproval, but Wanda is rushing to your support, concern on her features.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to-"

You interrupt her with "I'm fine, don't worry" forcing a small smile. As you try to lift your torso correctly and raise your arm to touch her, you groan in pain and Wanda's eyes widen, as does the whole team. At the feeling, you end up chuckling a little breathlessly. "Wow, that's... surprising. Looks like you set a new record here, Wands. First person to make me feel muscle pain." The team laughs at the joke, but Wanda isn't very happy about it. Natasha forgets about the scolding because she's too interested in discussing with Steve the progress of the two of you in training, and well, you get too distracted with Wanda caressing your arms in an attempt to ease the pain.

"Is it really that bad?" She asks with a worried frown. She must be feeling guilty enough not to realize what she's doing - how she’s touching you.

You try not to be so pathetic, it's an innocent gesture, but maybe it's too gentle or too warm to ignore. She strokes your arms soothingly, trying to apologize while murmuring that she's sorry for hitting you. And it only takes a moment longer for Wanda to get distracted with what she was doing - Not that you have any way of knowing that she's starting to notice the strong Kryptonian anatomy a little too much, and how feeling strong arms was the real reason she sighed and shook her head, pushing away thoughts she definitely shouldn't be having about her best friend.

Sharing the same warm pink in her cheeks as you, her hands moved away, and Wanda cleared her throat, trying to hide her own reactions while you hid yours.

"So... do you want to get something to eat? I'm starving."

She chuckles shortly. "You're always starving, darling." She teases, and well, she's right so you can't even argue.

Distracted by each other's presence, you soon lose yourself in small talk as you head toward the kitchen, and neither of you notices Sam or Clint grimacing at the scene they've just witnessed.

"That has to be the gayest thing I've ever seen in my entire life." The falcon grumbled in disbelief.

The hawk next to him massaged his forehead in a frown. "I should have retired already. I would have been less traumatized."

They shake their heads in unison, and then go back to training.

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #elizabeth olsen x reader #wanda maximoff drabbles #wanda maximoff imagines #marvel imagines

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sabertoothwalrus · 3 months ago

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hi!! do you have any advice on how to finish projects faster? or at least more efficiently? i take a few days to finish a piece (1 or 2 days at minimum) and i want to learn how to refine my process

that can depend a lot on what kind of look you’re trying to achieve, and what exactly is slowing you down!

things you can do if you take too long doing lineart:

Practice sketching in pen & marker! Do exercises that train your hand to be more efficient. If you can draw the same thing with 5 lines that previously took you 20, you’ll cut down on time.

Try a different brush! Maybe the one you’re using is too soft, and you have to keep going back over the lines to make them dark enough. There might be another brush that gets the same result with less effort.

Zoom out! On paper, a drawing that’s 2 inches tall will take wayyyy less time than a drawing that’s as big as your torso. When you zoom in, you’re essentially making the whole drawing bigger. When I draw, I like to be able to see the whole pose. If you’re worried about it not being perfectly clean, I promise you, no one is paying that close attention.

Skip the lineart entirely! Odds are, your sketches might already be pretty clean. If it takes you 20 minutes to do a sketch and 2 hours to do the lineart, but the lines look almost the same, then why bother doing the lineart?

similar advice for coloring/rendering!

Maybe it’s your art software! I can color 10x faster in CSP than anything else, because CSP makes it really easy to color in flats.

Limit how many types of brushes you use. There ARE certain effects (like convincing digital watercolor) that really do need 5-10 different brushes to get the look Just Right, but going through your tool menus to swap brushes will add time. When I render (which is rare, honestly) I stick to one, maybe two painterly brushes.

other general advice:

Don’t be so hard on yourself! Honestly, 1-2 days is still objectively pretty fast!

If you’re a perfectionist who will arbitrarily spend too much time fiddling and fiddling until it’s justttttt right, try setting timers! Give yourself a predetermined amount of time for the lineart, for the coloring, for the rendering, etc and MOVE ON once that timer goes off. Not everything you do has to be your magnum opus.

Use keyboard shortcuts!!!!!!!! I don’t like using screen tablets, especially if I can’t use shortcuts. If you have a tablet with programmable buttons or some kind of remote, that can work too. I see people use bluetooth xbox controllers sometimes, which is a good option if you already have that. Personally, I use so many shortcuts that there are never enough buttons to program, so I just stick with a keyboard.

JUST KEEP AT IT! The more you draw, the faster you get. I avoided doing paneled comics for nearly 10 years cause they took so much effort, and would only do comics where each panel was its own layer/image. After enough time doing that, I eventually got good enough at everything else to do with comics that the paneling aspect wasn’t that difficult anymore.

#art help

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genshin-impact-updates · 5 months ago

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Early to bed, early to rise. Avoid anything high in sugar or sodium.

"Coach Iansan is my idol, the greatest fitness coach in all of Natlan! Everyone tells me I'm naturally talented, but without her guidance, I'd probably have wasted my talents on eating. Don't worry if you're new to exercising, she knows how to tailor her training to her students' needs! Oh, would you look at me yabbering away? How about I give you a flyer — Coach just so happens to be recruiting trainees!"

— Varesa

◆ Name: Iansan

◆ Title: Tempered in Molten Stone

◆ Gold-Standard Trainer from Teteocan

◆ Vision: Electro

◆ Constellation: Carnotaurus

"Do you dream of pushing beyond your limits? Do you aspire to unfettered power?"

"Why not take a trip to the Collective of Plenty to attend the Pilgrimage Victors Academy? Under the skilled tutelage of our world-renowned coach, we can help you break free from your weak, feeble self!"

Many visitors making their first trips to Natlan have received such flyers, and the fitness pedigree of the Collective of Plenty is well known. As such, more than a few curious souls have signed up to unleash their inner strength. However, when they first lay eyes on this "world-renowned coach," it's not uncommon for aspiring athletic acolytes to feel cheated and ask for their money back.

Such situations fill Iansan with a sense of helpless exasperation. After all, even she has to admit that it's hard to draw connections between her child-like physique and notions of "strength" and "power." For many, it's difficult to imagine how someone so diminutive could guide them to "break free from their weak and feeble selves."

Whenever this happens, Iansan invites prospective students to name a fitness activity of their choice, challenging them to compete against her. Still smarting from being "cheated," it's rare that anyone refuses this opportunity to take their anger out on some fitness equipment.

Then, once her erstwhile inductees have exhausted themselves trying to outdo her, Iansan picks up their discarded weights and racks up a dozen or so more sets by herself.

"How is that even possible? Elemental power? A blessing from the heavens?"

"No, my strength comes from a well-scheduled workout routine, controlled caloric intake, and precise supplemental nutrition."

Even after experiencing defeat in this manner, many trainees still harbor doubts over Coach Iansan's words, but most of them still sign up for her academy all the same.

#genshin impact #genshin impact updates #genshin impact news #official #iansan

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cllightning81 · 10 months ago

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Academic Change

Summary : Everything's changing and the only way you know how to deal with it is by crying. Ollie's there to help though

Pairing/s: Oliver Bearman x Reader

Word Count : 0.8k

Masterlist

Oliver Bearman Masterlist

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A/N : Oh, how I needed an Ollie last night when this exact situation hit me.

It had reached a new academic year, but this year was different. You've finished high school and are now on your way to university. Ollie was signing with Haas, which meant his life was about to get more difficult. However, the worst part about it all was your best friend was moving away to go to university.

You’d heard the horror stories about best friends that move away and slowly just lose connection until it was like there was never a friendship there in the first place. With all the change that was happening over the next six months, you could feel the anxiety kicking in.

Ollie was back home for the break between Monza and Baku and you couldn’t be more grateful because during that break you had to say bye to your best friend and it was worse than Ollie leaving almost every week.

She understood you in a way that no one else could, there were millions of inside jokes that would be shared between you, inappropriate jokes that would have strangers or other people complaining about but that was your friendship.

It wasn’t until you were lying in bed blocking out the neighbours party that it really hit you. Noah Kahan’s ‘You’re Gonna Go Far’ playing into your ears as the words suddenly hit more than they ever had before.

Before you knew it, the tears had started falling down your face as the panic set in that actually she was packing up her car and being wherever she was. You’d tried not to cry for months about her leaving, but suddenly, everything was just far too much.

Ollie who was lying next to you in bed also blocking out the neighbours party with his own earphones in except this time scrolling on tiktok glanced over at you instantly spotting the tear tracks that had been on your face as you swapped from your normal playlist to your sad playlist needing to just let all your feelings out.

His arms wrapped around your body, pulling you closer to him as he ran a comforting hand over your back in an attempt to help calm you down however you were too deep into your crying session by now.

Soon Ollie figured you’d been crying enough and took your phone swapping over to some ‘relaxing sounds’ that in reality just made you want to use the bathroom but you didn’t have the energy to fight him.

His hand gently pulled your wrist closer to him as he messed about with your smartwatch to start the breathing exercises that were programmed in by whatever company you’d previously bought it from. As you followed the instructions from the watch, you could feel the anxiety of losing your best friend leaving your body and your heart rate dropping back down to normal.

Ollie sighed, letting you remove your earphones and place your phone on the bedside table before pulling you back into his body

“I know it’s hard, darling. Trust me, I know, except I was the one leaving everyone behind. I know it from both points of view, and you just need to remember that what you have won’t disappear overnight. You’ll meet new people on your course even if it’s a small course and you’ll never forget about your memories with her. I know your anxiety is through the roof right now, and you don’t deal well with change, but remember I’ll always be here. Even if I’m in Italy or Australia. She’ll always be there whether she’s ten minutes away by bus or half an hour by train” Ollie took a breath, pushing some hair out your face and wiping stray tears from your face

“Change is hard, and it’ll always be hard for you because that’s just who you are, but I love you for it and remember you’re the first from your family ever to go to university. That’s an achievement. You’re also doing a medical degree technically. I love you” He smiled, and you nodded

“I love you too. Thank you” Ollie nodded, pressing his lips against yours.

Everything was changing, and as hard as that was to admit, unfortunately, change was always going to happen in life, and although your facetimes were starting to become irregular, they were still happening.

No matter what happened in the next few months, at least you always had the memories that you’d created over the past three years at high school. Because you’d left all those friend groups that turned out not to be right, and now you had your best friend.

It was going to work out, and Ollie knew that after a couple of weeks you’d understand that.

“Come on time for some ice cream” Ollie hummed, getting out of bed and throwing you over his shoulder, causing you to giggle and cling on for dear life.

Sitting you down on the counter in the kitchen, Ollie raided the freezer, handing you the carton of ice cream with a spoon as he told Alex to play songs from both your childhoods. After all, much like your best friend, he knew how to make you happy.

And to quote Lauv “The story never ends”

Coming Soon

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@sltwins

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sunschay · 3 months ago

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You Bring Me Back to Life || Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Despite your broken heart, you try your best to overcome the huge hole that your ex-girlfriend, Natasha, left in your chest. You just never imagined in a million years that you would fall in love again, with your best friend, the Scarlet Witch.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Warnings: None

Word count: 5,755 words

Part 2 from A House of Lies

Sweat runs down your neck and drips from your forehead, accumulating on the back of your neck. The park is open and looks pleasant, it's still early so a small crowd of people gather around the huge green lawn, some chatting, others simply doing some exercise or admiring the crystal clear lake a few meters away or the huge fountain with a beautiful bronze sculpture. You stop, unscrew the cap from the transparent bottle and collect all the water to your stomach in minutes.

Exactly three months ago, your life changed dramatically. Especially because you simply discovered that your lovely ex-girlfriend, none other than Black Widow, had been cheating on you for months right under your nose, in addition to having lied several times that she was going on missions with the rest of the Avengers.

You trusted Natasha deeply and she destroyed your heart without even thinking about how you would feel. Besides, you were sick, isolated at home, on bed rest because a serious pneumonia had caught you.

The fact that Natasha had taken advantage of your weak physical state, damaged by the virus, to betray you with fucking Captain America still hurt you deep down.

Fortunately, you had realized how much Natasha hurt you. Not only because of the cheatings you discovered, but sometimes you simply reflected on Romanoff's behavior and saw that she didn't seem completely ready for a relationship. Sure, she took care of you, even more so after you got sick, but when it came to companionship and trust, things were different. She always seemed suspicious of you even without giving her any reason to, and she didn't know how to solve an argument without yelling or sex, she really thought that fucking would solve everything. But no, you always prioritized dialogue and patience, things that Natasha really didn't mind putting ahead of your relationship.

Natasha also didn't know how to show her feelings clearly.

You didn't blame her for that, after all, the Red Room reshaped her into a cold woman created to be a special assassin with no limitations.

Still, Natasha wasn't exactly the most loving type. She was a difficult person to deal with and you knew it from the beginning, but you fell for her anyway. Not because of her body, although she seemed sculpted by the gods above with every curve and every inch of soft, warm skin, even with her scars. She was a good person. She was a great friend and knew how to deal with situations of all kinds.

She just wasn't a good girlfriend. She wasn't loyal either, and that kind of spoiled her.

“God, it could be less hot.” You lamented, already completely drenched in sweat from your morning runs.

You had learned something good from this lesson. Natasha had taught you, not directly, but she had opened your eyes to see that you needed to care much more about yourself than just the people around you who could stab you in the back. Exactly as she did. You were fortunately able to recover from pneumonia and were already feeling better and much more energetic. That's why you had already returned to your intense training and running, after all, taking care of your body had always been a habit, not an obligation.

Things were going well, except for her completely broken mental state and her trust issues having returned because of what she did.

Yeah, she really did a number on you.

You sighed in relief when you entered your new temporary apartment, placing the bottle to fill under the cold filter and packing your things in your bag. You were still going to go to the gym that was a few meters away from the neighborhood. Moving from city to city and country was a habit for you, almost an addiction, but visiting France was always very frequent, since you spent a good part of your childhood here. You loved the landscapes, the food, the romanticism of the country – even though you had no one to share your romanticism and feel loved with – and you loved the extremely wide and common image of the Eiffel Tower.

Either way, you needed to take a break from the United States, and from the things that reminded you of Natasha, because those things were there with her.

“Fuck, holy shit Wanda, you want to kill me before I'm 40? I haven't even had kids yet!” You exclaimed as you turned around, seeing the witch leaning against your living room window.

And there she was. Dressed in her usual dark goth clothes, leather jacket, boots, tight pants and a dark purple shirt underneath the jacket, her blue eyes looking at you as if she was seeing a miracle in front of her. Her red hair was a little longer than the last time you saw her, but she looked beautiful. Absurdly beautiful, and breathtaking, you thought.

You mentally scolded yourself, thinking that you shouldn't look at your friend like that.

Anyway, you simply disappeared from New York shortly after you got better physically and after you broke up with Natasha, so you didn't even give any explanations to any of your teammates, which must have certainly upset them. Exclusively Wanda herself.

“If Steve were here, he would have lectured you for an hour for having such a foul mouth.” She laughed, the way her lips curved was adorable.

Your body quickly went still at the mention of Rogers' name. You felt your shoulders tense and your muscles turn to stone, a bitter, disgusting taste forming on your tongue as you remembered exactly how much contempt and disgust you carried for him now.

“I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, Y/n...I forgot for a moment.” She apologized, feeling guilty for mentioning his name as quickly as she saw you.

“Alright, relax, Wands. Everything's fine. What are you doing here? Or rather, how did you get in, you clever little witch?” You teased her, the smile on her lips making you melt for a minute.

“Oh, are you forgetting for a moment about my super invasive magical gifts? I came to see a friend. I know you left New York as soon as that happened and I'm really sorry. But you had me worried sick, Precious.” She sighed, now looking a little nervous.

“Oh. Sure. She told you. Yeah, I just thought everything was fine between us and that she was happy, Wanda. But she chose to be happier by cheating on me with him right under my nose and fooling me like I was nothing.” You replied, licking your lips with a blank look.

“She didn't have to tell me anything, Y/n. I felt it. I just felt it when you left and I felt your pain, so deep and so agonizing. You don't deserve any of this. Anyway, I had the displeasure of seeing them kissing at the Complex the other day.” She said, completely uncomfortable and disgusted with the subject.

“Anyway. Come give me a hug before I rip your ears off if you try to disappear like that again without telling me.” She said seriously, seeing you laugh lightly and come closer.

As soon as you hugged Wanda, everything seemed to disappear for a minute. You loved her hug, if her voice could comfort you, her touch made you melt. Her scent was even better, a sweet and light mix of fragrant vanilla and coffee. You closed your eyes, feeling her arms lightly squeeze your shoulders, bringing you closer, and you shivered when her breath lightly passed close to your neck.

You always suspected why Wanda never had a romantic relationship with anyone.

To be honest, you had heard some rumors from some certain little birds (Those that started with C and T) that she liked you. Of course you thought it was absurd at the time, you were best friends and you faithfully believed that Wanda only saw you that way, even knowing that Natasha was extremely irritating and frustratingly jealous of you with the Maximoff girl who always treated you so well and so affectionately.

Still, you couldn't believe that Wanda could like you.

Okay, sometimes you had reason to be suspicious of course. You were the only person on the team who always received a kiss on the cheek from Wanda (she only kissed her twin, Pietro, before he died) and she always let you lay your head on her lap to vent for hours about your problems, just like you always did with her too, after all you were super close to each other.

She also used to give you affectionate nicknames like Smarty or Precious. And maybe that's why Natasha didn't like this friendship that you and Wanda share at all, but now Romanoff was no longer a flea behind your ear to worry about.

You two weren't even together anymore anyway.

“Hmm...you need a bath, honey.” She said, making you burst out laughing and leaned in close, her lips dangerously kissing the corner of your mouth.

You shivered, your muscles turning to jelly and your skin crawling. It was embarrassing and it seemed confusing to you, because not even Natasha had that kind of effect on you, when the two of you were together. But Wanda... Wanda was deep, not just in her eyes but in her manner, her hands. God. She was incredible.

“I know, little witch. I'll be working on it.” You chuckled, licking your lips thirstily.

Removing the thick, warm sweatshirt from your torso, you adjusted the black tank top on your body. You usually used to wear cold weather clothes and sweatshirts to cover your body, after all, your insecurity with it was endless. A bit confusing, after all, you had always been in shape and your physique was amazing, but the various scars around your body from the battles with the team over the years and your body dysmorphia made you feel completely weak and useless.

You pulled the bottle out from under the water filter, taking a long drink and suppressing a groan as the freezing water chilled your sensitive teeth. Out of the corner of your eye, you felt Wanda drinking from your body, her hungry green eyes moving up and down every part of you.

This makes your face heat up and turn red like a raw pepper.

A sigh left your lips and you tried to ignore it, thinking it was paranoia coming from your head. You grabbed a towel and a pair of clothes, a long black t-shirt and knee-length workout shorts, taking off your shoes and sweaty socks.

“Would you like something to drink? Tea, some bitter coffee? I can get you something before I wash off the skunk smell I have.” You smiled, seeing her return a light smile.

“Maybe just some herbal tea. But don't rush, go take a bath to relax your body. I'll be here.” She said, her cheeks reddening for some reason.

You'd love to be able to read her mind like she used to do with everyone.

“I'll be back in five minutes.” You walk away slowly, entering the small bathroom.

The cold water made your bones shiver and your back arch slightly. As you washed yourself, you stopped to think if your paranoid theory was right about Wanda liking you. What if she did, and you gave in again only to get hurt again like you had when you were with Natasha?

No, Wanda wouldn't do that. Right?

She was the type of woman who would easily like to start a family just like Clint did, live in a calmer and more isolated place, in a house full of children and far from any chaos that could involve the Avengers.

Even so, you were afraid.

Wanda made your heart flutter and burn every time you looked at her face. Her voice, her hands, her words, everything about her calmed you. She was naturally sweet. She had lost everything a long time ago and yet she was still the same girl you knew, the same girl who might be the one for you.

“Noisy head.” You muttered to yourself, the millions of thoughts about Maximoff making you feel lost.

Once the shower was over, you wrapped yourself in a towel and brushed your teeth, finishing the rest of the hygiene routine you maintained. Drying your hair and the rest of your body, you got dressed again, your body smelling of fresh soap and freshly showered. Wanda was sitting comfortably in one of the corners of your couch, her eyes staring outside your living room window, looking distracted. You rested the slightly damp towel on one of your shoulders, putting on your slippers and putting water in a kettle, starting to boil on the stove.

“What's the little witch thinking, huh? Vision, perhaps?” You joked, seeing her look at you with a hilarious expression.

The fact that Vision was a robot created by a small incident years ago did not prevent him from having feelings and he himself has made it clear several times that he liked Wanda romantically. She, however, did not seem to share the same feelings, but still saw him as a friend like the rest of the team.

“Certainly not. You still really think I like him, huh?” She laughed, watching you pour some herbs into the boiling water and a tea bag with chamomile tea inside.

“I know he's been head over heels for you ever since he joined us. But I see that you just don't seem to feel the same way and I understand that.” You answered simply, grabbing two cups and watching the water begin to bubble.

“I know, and I hope he finds someone who deserves him. I think we all deserve a little love sometimes.” She said and you nodded without much emotion, feeling her approach you.

Natasha made you believe that you didn't deserve love anymore ever since that happened. But that wasn't all. You just felt like your heart was building iron walls around itself, trying to defend itself from any possible loving 'threat'. You hated feeling that way, but you also knew it wasn't your fault.

“Y/n. We need to talk a little, okay?” She said and you shivered when you felt her right behind your back, but you just nodded.

“Sure. Did something happen?” You turned around, pressing your back against the counter and she shook her head with a smile.

“No, certainly not. Today is Nate's birthday. Clint invited us, he'd love to have you come.” She said, already noticing the tension in your shoulders.

“Will everyone be there?” The question came firmly from your mouth, but also with fear.

“Everyone on the team. Although we haven't been a team since... a year ago. If I may say so.” Wanda muttered, swallowing hard.

It's true. Since the Civil War a year ago, everything has changed dramatically, as the team has split up to fight against each other because of the Sokovia Accords imposed by the cold Secretary of State, Ross.

“Wanda, you know how I feel about being around those... people. I don't want to cause any trouble.” You said, the thought of seeing Natasha making your stomach turn.

“I totally get that, my precious. But you also need to understand that sometimes it might be impossible not to see her or Rogers, or both of them in the same place. Sometimes you have to face your biggest fears. Come on, Y/n. You don't have to stay the whole party, let's just have some fun, forget about our problems, you know Clint and Nate would love to see you there, we miss you among us.” She said, biting her lip as she hoped to change your mind.

Well, she had a point. You missed Barton's son and Clint himself, his family was like a second family to you, if you had one, but being with them was like forgetting everything and anything bad.

“Okay, I'll go to the party, Wands. For you.” You say, seeing something in the depths of her eyes shine and she hugs you sideways, one hand gripping your arm.

“It's on his farm in Iowa. Before eleven o'clock at night. I'm sure you won't regret it.” She says, making you smile sideways as you pour both cups and hand one to her.

[...]

If regret killed, you would already be unconscious, sinking into a pool of blood. But you weren't. And you were doing this for Wanda, Nate, and Clint. You deeply missed your friends, missed the way things were before the Sokovia Accords separated everyone and put a good part of the team in a prison on the Raft. Anyway, that was over and here you were in Iowa, one year later. The night was starry, twinkling lights hanging from some posts in front of the Barton house and some familiar faces gathered around a table.

Looking around, you faithfully hoped you wouldn't have to face Natasha there, but you could already see a tangle of red hair and the figure of a short body near the table made you shiver. Stay strong, you repeat to yourself several times.

Gathering some courage, you walked over to the table, seeing a few bottles of beer and small glasses of soda scattered there, along with a cake with blue whipped cream cut in half. Nathaniel quickly recognized you on Clint's lap and you hugged them, stroking the child's short hair.

“Look who showed up, those who are alive always show up! Hey, kid, you had me worried, you were gone for too long. How are things, huh?” He chuckled, ruffling your hair slightly and hugging you sideways.

“I'm fine, Clint, thanks for the invite. For Nate and for you guys I'll go anywhere. I'm fine, things are slowly going in the right direction.” You said, watching him nod with some concern.

It was already obvious that Clint knew that you and Natasha had broken up. You just wondered if she said that she was the one who ruined everything between you and that she cheated on you with Rogers.

“I'm so sorry, mate. For you and Nat... I know what it's like to lose what you hold most dear in life.” He said, giving you a knowing look and you smiled weakly.

“She was sweet, Clint, until she fucked up herself. But I appreciate the support. Mmm, beer, I could smell it from afar.” You laughed lightly, grabbing a bottle and opening the lid with your teeth, spitting it out and saw Clint frown in confusion.

He didn't know anything. Natasha really was a tremendous liar.

“Of course she wouldn't tell you, Clint, you're her best friend. She cheated on me with Steve, for months, yes while I was sick at home needing her attention and affection. People are not what they seem, I learned that kind of late. Don't worry, I've sorted it out with her.” You took a sip of the cold drink, watching Clint sigh in complete disbelief.

It didn't matter if Natasha and he were best friends or not, Clint was also your friend and he saw you as a sibling, sometimes you even seemed like family, so what she did to you wasn't fair.

“This isn't fair, Jesus, Y/n! She... fuck, she will hear the sermon she has never heard in her life, she needs to know that this is cowardice. You can make yourself at home, I'm going to call Laura to cut your cake, there are more sweets inside the house.” He said, giving you a quick hug and walked away to the house to clean the small mess Nate made on his shirt.

You opened your mouth and closed it, sighing deeply as he walked away. You appreciated that about Clint, though. He was always a fair and principled man, so he certainly wouldn't let Natasha off the hook for the shit she did. Steve was also to blame for that anyway.

“Hey, hacker! Did you miss me?” You laughed, watching Tony come closer and hug you.

Even though you had been at odds with each other a year ago, Tony was one of the closest people on the team to you besides Clint and Thor, who apparently wasn't here. It was rare for you two to fight for a long time, you always found a way to resolve things. Your and Stark's sarcasm and genial demeanor really complemented each other. You still greeted Sam Wilson and the 'Bucky' nearby, ignoring Rogers' smug and arrogant face nearby, giving a brief wave to Laura, Clint's wife who was taking care of the children.

“How can I not miss my favorite tin head? How are things with Pepper, big guy?” You smiled, taking another sip of your beer.

“Listen, I heard about what happened with Romanoff, and I'm so sorry. She doesn't deserve you. I never liked the popsicle face to be honest.” He said, making you let out a light laugh.

“I know, they deserve each other. It's okay Tony, I'm better off alone.” You whispered and he nodded.

The night continued to unfold calmly and slowly, and you hated feeling Natasha's gaze on your back, even though she hadn't said anything. You looked ahead and your eyes lit up when the sight of Wanda approaching made you smile, wearing a shiny black dress that ended at her knees, her wavy hair loose and her face illuminated without much makeup. She didn't need any makeup, she was always so incredibly beautiful. You felt your heart race and bit your lip.

To be honest, you rarely saw Wanda wearing dresses, it felt like the first time.

“Look who came. I'm glad my mind manipulation had some effect.” She teased you, giggling as she approached.

Your arms opened wide for her, one hand still holding the drink, and she quickly enveloped herself in the warmth of your embrace. You felt Wanda shiver for some reason as your somewhat bold free hand (the effect of the alcohol) gently touched her back and the side of her slim waist. Wanda laughed lightly against your neck, tightening the hug, and you almost grunted in frustration when she pulled away to greet the rest of the group. Her scent had lingered on you and was so wonderful that it intoxicated you like a new addiction.

“You look beautiful, little witch. Always smelling so good.” You greeted, watching her cheeks turn pink and Wanda serve you a piece of cake on a colorful plate.

“I can say the same about you, smarty.” She said, sending you an air kiss.

Everything seemed peaceful as you ate and chatted in a group with each other, Wanda, Clint, and Tony. It was good to know that things were finally back to the way they were before the whole Sokovia thing. You wiped your lips, which were previously stained with whipped cream and chocolate filling, handing a wrapped present to Nate who was in Clint's arms. You faithfully hoped that he liked plushies because nothing else had come to mind as a birthday present for a 2-year-old.

“Still not going to greet me?” A husky female voice with an unrecognizable Russian accent came through and you almost rolled your eyes.

“Good evening, Natasha.” You answered seriously, feeling her deep green eyes look you up and down.

“Good evening. You've gotten much closer than just friends. Have you ever kissed each other, perhaps?” She teased, trying to look innocent, looking between you and Wanda.

“You can be sure that whoever wasted one of their kisses would be missing out on a lot, Romanoff.” Wanda smiled tightly, watching Natasha's expression fall and you heard Clint approaching the table.

“I didn't remember you being so rude, Maximoff. Has time been hard on you, or is it just me?” Natasha smiled and you could already smell the strong drink coming from her. She was drunk.

“Can you just shut the fuck up, Natasha? Please?” You interrupted, feeling her incredulous eyes now on your face.

“And why the hell are you talking to me like that?” She questioned, crossing her arms.

Now you could see her completely, before you. Her red hair was a little less long than before, but the color was still as bright as flames during a fire, and she was wearing a tight black skirt and a white blouse with a plunging neckline in the middle, her lips red. She would have been beautiful if she hadn't been so fucking petulant and ignorant.

“You shouldn't talk to her like that, just apologize.” Rogers walked in on you and you laughed at the smug expression on his face.

“Please calm down a bit guys, there are children here.” Laura warned with Clint by her side.

“The lab mouse is defending his snack. Calm down, Rogers, you could soon be replaced by anyone who thinks faster than you think, get that puppy-dog expression off your face.” You laughed, watching him growl and take a step forward.

“I'd rather be the lab rat than the abandoned rat. After all, you were the one who got traded first, my friend. If you did your job in bed, she'd still be with you by now.” He smiled cynically.

You felt the blood boil until it went to your head, your brain simply reacting as quickly as it could. You punched Rogers' jaw hard, hearing the sound of something breaking in it and he staggered, stumbling on the floor already drunk. Of course there was a lot of disagreement between you, he had been created as a laboratory experiment and you were twice as strong as him due to the extra dose of physical and mental powers you carried.

But Natasha had never said anything, like complaints about the relationship you had behind closed doors. The sex between you seemed pleasant to you and even so, that didn't justify her having cheated on you with Rogers like that.

“No one complained while she was tasting me, 'friend'. She just thought it was fair to taste the little mouse to satisfy her neediness, it's no wonder Banner left you when he had the chance.” You said, seeing a flash of hurt in Natasha's eyes as you walked away.

You threw the almost empty glass bottle into a trash bag, hearing the shards shatter and heard Rogers complain about you with your bruised face, besides him insisting on taking Natasha home. It was none of your business, really. Clint guided you inside, without judging or lecturing you, after all he understood how it felt right now.

“I'll clean up the kids' mess outside. Feel free to do so, but no arguments please.” He said, giving you a knowing look.

You sat on the couch, a little cramped, looking to the side as Wanda came in and sat next to you. She took your hand, seeing that you had hurt your knuckles when you hit Rogers and took a damp cloth, cleaning the small cuts.

“Was it worth it?” She asked, the pleasant Sokovian accent making you relax for a moment.

“Yes.” The whisper came from your mouth, husky and simple.

“So it's all right. She hurt you, I feel it... right here. But things are moving forward.” She said, her hand implanted just inches above your heart.

You nodded, feeling her hand still on your chest as you calmed the fury and contempt for the two Avengers outside. Your heart was still racing, but for Wanda now. You didn't understand why she had this effect on you, she was so kind, so perfect in every way. You felt your mouth go dry and your eyes roamed over every inch of her face.

“I wonder why I can never get it right with anyone. It was like that with Sharon and now with Natasha.” You whispered, watching as she finished cleaning your fingers and began to caress the palm of your hand.

“Y/n, listen to me and listen to me well. None of this is your fault. Okay, we all make mistakes sometimes in a relationship, it happens often and I understand, it can end up teaching us valuable lessons. But look at you, you are so respectful, patient and simply the most genuine and affectionate person I know. Natasha didn't cheat on you because you are the problem, but she herself is, she is characterless and needs validation from others.” She said, her fingertips caressing your chin.

You were stunned for a moment, not only because Wanda seemed completely right but also because her closeness to your face, her extremely sweet and calming voice made you feel ecstatic. You nodded, leaning in slowly to feel more of her touch.

“You think so? About me. You describe me as the best person you've ever met and I don't see that. Not on me.” You sighed, feeling Wanda hold your face with both hands.

“You are the best person I know and I mean it. You mean so much to me, precious. And you deserve so much more than shallow relationships like Sharon or Natasha gave you. So much more.” She whispered, licking her lips eagerly.

You smiled, the seriousness and depth of the matter lost as Wanda placed a blue cone-shaped birthday hat on your head. Laughter filled the room and you grabbed a party blower, accidentally blowing it into Wanda's lips. You held back a laugh, seeing the terrifying expression she made and when you thought you were going to get scolded, she grabbed you by the back of the neck, one hand grabbing the collar of your clothes.

“Why don't you try blowing here?” She teased, smirking as she leaned in closer.

Wanda's voice sounds insinuating, but she doesn't take any steps that might seem invasive or uncomfortable to you. Your muscles freeze and your breathing becomes irregular. For the first time, you have the greatest chance to kiss Wanda, and you know you want it desperately, because she wants it too, it's visible in her eyes. Her fingers caress your chin and her nails scrape without strong pressure on your skin, then she brushes her lips against yours for seconds before sinking her mouth into yours calmly.

There is no malice or rush in the kiss. But Wanda brushes her tongue against your lower lip and tries to deepen the kiss, which you allow, feeling her tongue dance in your mouth.

This is unlike anything you've ever experienced.

The kisses you shared with Natasha were always rough or abrupt because of the strong sexuality she demonstrated in the relationship, things usually ended in bed. In any case, they were not always very loving or long kisses.

But with Wanda it was simply intense. The softness of her lips was simply incredible. The way she touched you calmly and cautiously, without wanting to go too fast or being careful enough not to do something wrong to you, showed how angelic she was. The slowness of the kiss. The tranquility. Wanda's scent lingering on your skin. You let out a gasp when she bit your lower lip and your hands pulled Wanda closer, her forehead pressing against yours when the lack of air separated your lips.

“I love you, Y/n. I don't care if you still wish you were with Natasha. You've always been my friend, my companion. My only love.” She admitted, making your heart race.

“Wanda. I was so stupid and blind to try to hold on to Natasha while she slept with Steve. I gave her all my love, trust, and loyalty only to be hurt so deeply. But now I see.” You whispered the first words, your lips already missing hers, your fingers caressing her delicate face.

“...And it's you that I love. I tried to hide it when I preferred to be in your arms and hear your loving words, trying to convince myself that Natasha was the woman of my dreams. But it's you, Wanda. You're the woman I love, the woman I breathe and the woman I want by my side. I don't care if I get hurt if I'm with you.” You said, seeing her eyes slightly watery.

It wasn't just the fact that Natasha had cheated on you that made you see the truth. She didn't make your heart race like Wanda did. Romanoff's touch had cooled over time, before you discovered the cheatings. But Wanda's touch always comforted you, always made you want more. Her lips were magnificent, they made you feel in a deep ecstasy of passion. Her scent made you dizzy, dizzy with love. Everything about Wanda enchanted you, everything about her made you realize that she was the one you wanted and it only took this night for everything to become clear.

“I've waited so long to hear this from you. So long.” She sighed, feeling your lips quickly pushing against hers again.

You had finally found the feeling of having true love in the palm of your hands. The woman of your dreams was in your arms. Wanda kissed you more deeply, moaning softly as the kiss became deeper and warmer, her hands tangling in your soft hair. You saw her smile between the kiss, feeling your body being laid on the small couch and Wanda climbing on top of you, tossing her red hair back before biting your lower lip.

“Guys, would you like to- Oh. Looks like I'm a little early.” Clint cleared his throat as he entered the room, startled when he saw Wanda and you kissing.

“Hey, Clint... sorry, we just... uh…” You tried to explain yourself, watching Wanda's face turn an adorable shade of red as she removed her weight from your body.

“There's some cake left over. Laura will keep it for you if you want...if you want. I'm going to leave right away.” He growled in frustration, walking away in shame.

“That was... that was hilarious.” Wanda said, bursting out laughing.

“It was your fault. Nobody told you to stick your tongue down my throat like a pervert.” You smiled, feeling her hold your face and kiss you hard, patting your arm lightly.

“You say that as if you didn't like it, Smarty.” She replied, her eyes shining as she looked at you.

“I loved it. I love all of it. The way you... You bring me back to life. I love you, Wanda.” You finished, your heart burning in flames for her.

You had found love in your best friend. And now you could finally rest your head with the love of your life.

#marvel #black widow #steve rogers #scarlet witch #wanda maximoff x reader #fluff #natasha romanoff

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prettyboyth1ng · 6 months ago

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they need to invent forcemasc bootcamp.

not for any of that military shit. for the pure purpose of making love, not war. for taking “girls” who haven’t gotten with the program or some softass prettyboys and turning them into bonafide men who love their identities as faggots.

first exercise newbies in the program would deal with is making sure everyone starts out fresh. the “makeover”, if you will. giving out handsome young men a haircut and a change of clothing to something more masculine to suit their new image. A nice new pair of boxers, some jeans, and a plain t-shirt. All right before giving them their first shots of testosterone.

of course, once they get those shots, the new recruits are bound to end up needy. so their next exercise in the introductory process will be to get some of that energy out. of course, that means getting them all tied down with their cute little boycunts on display for their superiors to use. they aren’t meant to be using them again during their stint (or even referring them to anything other than holes for that matter), so the boys that know what’s good for them will be thankful that their boypussies will be played with by men who will breed them over and over, making them cum until they simply can’t take anymore.

after that first day, it will be a steady regimen of teaching those dogs proper training. how to refer to themselves in ways they want to be addressed, how to take care of their new bodies, and how to support their fellow men. and of course, how to behave like proper faggots. how to play with their own cocks, how to suck any dick they come across, how to take dick using their ass (their front holes? those just supply the lube for the job), how to properly use a strap on. how to train their voices to properly beg when they want a good and deep pounding. and how to take the pain that’ll come if and when they fuck up.

it will be difficult, but by the end of it they will be transformed into complete and perfect boytoys.

#ftm nsft #forcemasc #ftm ns/fw #forced masculinization #ftm t4t #trans nsft #force masc #t4t nsft #autoandrophilia #forcedmasc #forced masculinity #forced masc #autoandrophile #forcemasc boot camp #my writing

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thethronezone · 6 months ago

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Perturabo had never cared for his son. He had known from the moment the child had been born that Maximus was flawed. A disappointment like the rest of his legion. Perturabo had done his best to refine the boy, to turn him into a worthy astartes, but he wasn't a miracle worker. He couldn't fix something that was broken from the very beginning.

Despite this, Perturabo had kept Maximus close, even when once the boy had officially joined the Iron Warriors as another space marine. He reasoned it to be out of shame. Better keep an eye on the boy and make sure he didn't embarrass Perturabo any further. After all, that was his blood, flowing through his veins. His genes which had crafted this flawed specimen. He had to take some sort of responsibility, he supposed.

So why does he feel like both his hearts have just been ripped out?

The Battle of Isstvan V had been more difficult than initially assumed. The loyalists had fought back remarkably well, considering the fact that they had been caught completely off guard. But it was almost over now, just a couple of stragglers and minor skirmishes left. Clean up. The worst of it was supposed to be over now.

Perturabo had not expected to find Maximus skewered on a loyalist's sword, rapidly growing paler by the second as he bled out.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry-" Maximus whispered under his breath and when he saw his father approach, his expression twisted into one of genuine remorse and shame. "I'm sorry, I wasn't strong enough, I couldn't hold the line, I let my guard down, I failed you, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Perturabo said nothing as he knelt by Maximus side, said nothing as he inspected the fatal wound that had pierced through several of his major organs. Dying. Perturabo's son was dying.

Small. Perturabo had always thought his son had been too small but it felt so viscerally wrong now.

The Primarch looked Maximus in the eyes and instead of seeing a wounded astartes, he saw the little boy that once had gotten hurt during a training exercise and begged his father for forgiveness for not being good enough. Back then, Perturabo had sneered and told him to stop pleading, that it made him look weak and pathetic. Maximus had taken those words to heart as he had never done it again. Until now, that is.

Maximus wheezed. "I'm sorry father, please don't hate me."

Normally, Perturabo would have felt disgusted by this blatant display of weakness. Of the lack of discipline. But any condemning words he had died before they could even reach his lips. He didn't feel disgusted, like he ought to. Instead he just felt so very empty.

"I don't hate you" Perturabo finally said and felt a detached form of surprise when he realized he was speaking the truth. Maximus started at him with wide, glassy eyes and Perturabo felt the need to say... Something. But he didn't know what. Praise felt hollow. Reassurance false. Words just didn't feel like enough, so instead he grabbed his son's hand in his own. "I don't hate you, Maximus" he repeated, more to himself this time. Again, the truth of the statement surprised him.

Had Perturabo not spent all these years loathing his son? Cursing his weakness and the shame he had brought him as a father? Perturabo knew hate, was intimately familiar with the feeling, so he knew that was what he had been feeling. But if WASN'T towards Maximus, who had it been meant for?

A wet cough from Maximus snapped him out of his musings. His son (stars, his SON) clenched his armored hand weakly and Pertufound himself leaning closer, his other hand reaching for Maximus shoulder as if to steady him.

Maximus' expression of despair eased by a fraction and his body relaxed. He closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep, shuddering breath, before opening them once more and looking his father directly in the eyes. He cracked a sad, remorseful smile.

"I'm sorry I failed to make you proud, father."

And then he was gone. Perturabo saw the light leave his son's eyes, heard his hearts beat one last time before coming to a full stop. Yet he could not accept it. Maximus could not be dead. Not really. He was alive just a moment ago, talking, looking him in the eyes. It wasn't right. IT WASN'T FAIR!

Perturabo wanted to scream. Wanted to cry. Wanted to tear open a hole in his chest and rip out the pain and grieg that was overwhelming him. But he did none of that. Instead he just kneeled by his son's body, still holding his hand.

Finally, he knew what he should have told his son when he had still had the chance. "It was I who failed you, Maximus."

But it was too late now.

#warhammer 40k #perturabo #angst #oc: maximus son of perturabo #primarchs as fathers

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florencemtrash · 1 year ago

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The Shadowsinger & The Inkbird: Chapter Eleven

Azriel x Day Court Librarian Reader

Summary: Y/n's clairvoyance is a gift from the Mother, but it feels more like a curse. With the power to gain knowledge through touch alone, Y/n holes herself up in The Alcove and hopes her powers and parentage will remain a secret. But things will change after the Summer Solstice ball and a chance encounter with a certain Shadowsinger.

Warnings: None. Gwyn and Y/n bond over books. Azriel and Y/n get even closer — this had me kicking my feet and screaming internally and externally

The Shadowsinger & The Inkbird: Masterlist

Masterlist of Masterlists

Rhysand’s training sessions always started with him sliding over ten objects: a book, a piece of jewelry, an article of clothing — anything he could find with meaning for you to discern.

“This one is Mor’s.” You held the red satin box in your hands. Two months ago you would have only been able to tell him who it belonged to. Maybe nothing at all. The meaning held by the object was weak. The jewelry too new. Unworn. But now you could harness your power with more precision, like you’d finally been handed an image of the puzzle you were trying to complete so you knew what to look for. “You bought it two months ago at Cizero’s as a Winter Solstice gift.”

“And what is it exactly?”

The box was still closed.

You pushed your power forward, imagining light slipping in through the seam of the box. An image flashed in your mind. It was blurry, but held onto its form long enough for you to make it out.

“Drop earrings. Rubies,” you said with a straight back before dropping the box into Rhysand’s open palm.

He smirked and clicked it open. Gold banded rubies hung from the backing like bloody tears, each drop separated by a diamond that flashed brighter than the stars in the ever darkening sky.

You dared to smile, staring at the jewelry with a level of satisfaction you hadn’t felt since being handed top marks as an apprentice.

“Very nicely done.”

The box disappeared back into his desk beside a glimmering gemstone the size of your fist wrapped in tissue paper.

It’s probably for Amren. You thought to yourself. Azriel told you she loved shiny things and hoarded her treasures like a crow. Hence why she’d yet to return from Summer with Varian.

You moved on to the next portion of your exercises. With a feather light touch, Rhysand laid his hands on your palms, your wrists, your forearm, your shoulders. He moved up and down your body, waiting a minute for you to control yourself before touching the next flash of exposed skin. It was still difficult to completely contain your power, but you were getting better at moving it around your body. When he reached for your hands, you slid the magic up to your chest. When he reached for your knees, it moved down to your ankles. It was a delicate dance, like the curling of ocean water away from the shore or the splitting of a river around a stone.

You did what you could to experience the touches with a clinical detachment and Rhysand did as well. He was careful. He stopped the moment you let out a gasp of surprise at the feeling of warm skin pressed against your own and there wasn’t an ounce of judgement written in his beautiful features when you trembled beneath his touch.

“Take your time,” he said encouragingly.

For him, touch was a necessary part of life. He always had an arm slung over Cassian’s shoulders or wrapped around Feyre’s waist. He fell asleep with his mate pressed against him and he walked around the River House with Nyx on his shoulders and Velaria curled up in his arms. But there were also mornings when he’d wake up in a cold sweat, the feeling of Amarantha’s red-tipped nails dragging down his chest like she wanted to take more from him than just his body. Those were the days Feyre knew to give him his space.

“Take all the time that you need.”

Rhys stepped away. You steadied your breath and took time to record your progress in the journal you kept close by. Although there was no true way to quantify your learning, your Day Court training never left you and you wrote down what little could be put into words — for posterity’s sake. Then maybe the next Clairvoyant the Mother willed into existence would have an easier time navigating this than you.

Gwyn found you squirreled away in your usual reading room, back bowed over a flurry of books and note pages like a reed in the wind. You reached for the mug on the desk only to find it disappointingly empty. Unlike the River House, the Library did not fuel your caffeine addiction with reckless abandon.

She floated over, abandoning the cart of books she’d been tasked with returning that night. Her legs were throbbing from the split squats Cassian had coached her through that evening, and she was desperate for a break.

“Some light reading, I see?” she teased, sinking into the seat across from you.

You looked up, eyes red-rimmed and swollen. It took a few moments for Gwyn’s shape to come into focus.

“What?” The word slurred coming out of your mouth.

She tapped the ever growing pile of papers beside you. Your manuscript: 120 hand-written pages and counting. When the book became too frustrating to handle, you abandoned it in exchange for another productive task. Even if the 120 pages you’d reproduced were utter garbage.

You groaned, forehead slamming against the wood with a clatter. Thoughts of white blood cells, lymphatic vessels, and innate and acquired immunity knotted in your brain like the world’s worst game of cat’s cradle.

Gwyn would have found it amusing if she didn’t know just how much time you spent within the mountain. You’d effectively been adopted by the priestesses. Lurking here and there like a cat coming in from the cold. And you were just as disapproving as a stray. Gwyn would often catch you among the stacks, mumbling about the disorganization and how you couldn’t work in such paltry conditions.

“Cauldron boil me, I’m sorry for asking.” Gwyn raised her hands in surrender.

You let out a great, heaving sigh. “It’s not you.”

“Oh I know it’s not me. You look like you’ve been dragged through a gutter.”

You blinked wearily at the lovely priestess.

“A very clean, well-managed gutter.” She grinned. Her skin shone, reflecting the pale, fuzzy moonlight that filtered through the window above and doused the library in a silver sheen.

“Thank you, Gwyn.”

“Anytime.” She drummed her nails against the table, the beat of it almost sending you to sleep. “How long have you been here today?” she asked with concern.

“I don’t know. What time is it?”

“After midnight.”

“Oh.”

“How long?” Gwyn repeated and you dragged a hand down your face.

“Seven hours? Give or take?” Your stomach growled.

“Oh for fuck’s sake.”

Gwyn grabbed you by the end of your robes, tugging you up several floors and down an unfamiliar hallway until you stopped in front of a teal-blue tapestry. Selkies, sirens, and water nymphs dove in and out of rippling waters highlighted by iridescent beads. She flung it to the side and pressed her hand against the bare stone. The slab sank into the wall and then slid open to reveal a cream-colored room adorned with bundles of babies' breath.

“Sit,” she commanded, pointing to the neatly made bed. You swayed dangerously on your feet.

“I’m really fine. I didn’t mean to bother you.”

“Sit. Down.” She cut you with a lethal gaze Nesta would be proud of.

You snapped your mouth shut, shuffled across the carpeted floor, and sank into the queen-sized bed. You played with the ties of your robe wrapping them around your finger, then unwrapping them, then wrapping them again.

King Tiberion, third of the Nachmanian line, born Aschieron Cambria Nostrus Tiberion Dalgna to Effel Taul and foreign-born…

Found dead at a young three-hundred-and-ninety-two years of age at the hands of her brother. Spell cleaver or not, Ingrid…

Something like a lock and a key. Magic that’s perfectly complementary might be afforded the unique ability to seal… and break… gods I’m tired…

There have only been seven recorded Shadowsingers in history: Lovania Vallant born 895 in the age of Alders (see ref. 18992HBG Carstairs), Gherald Dashiv born 1459 in the age of —

Gwyn snapped her fingers in front of you, pulling your mind out of the hurricane of thoughts. You were a strange creature. You spoke little, moved about the Library as quiet as a mouse, and you had an interesting habit of running your fingers along every book on the shelf. Back and forth, back and forth you’d run along before jerking to a stop like one of the books had caught you at the end of a fishing lure.

“Are you ok?”

“I’m fine,” you repeated.

“You’re a terrible liar.”

“Some would say that’s a good thing. It would make me incredibly trustworthy, at least when it comes to responding to things. I’d be terrible at keeping secrets, unless I was very careful about how I went about things. You know how it is. With the things.”

Gwyn huffed with silent laughter and opened one of the cabinets in her small, makeshift kitchen. “Eat.” She commanded again and you were too slow to catch the sleeve of biscuits she tossed in your direction. It bounced off your forehead and landed in your lap. “I’ll be right back with something more substantial.”

The door shut with a puff of air and you were left to chew on the chocolate and orange biscuits in silence.

Gwyn’s room faced the city and you saw the lamplights burning through the windows that had been cut into the mountain rock, mimicking the stars that twinkled overhead like salt poured onto black glass.

Cream satin sheets caught the moonlight until it glowed and you had the sudden urge to tip back and fall into oblivion. You could work for a long while, so long as you didn’t sit still long enough for the exhaustion to catch up to you — which you were doing now.

You shoved another biscuit in your mouth, now almost halfway through the sleeve. It helped settle the hollowness in your stomach so you could pick yourself up and move over to the bookshelf.

Bodice ripper, bodice ripper, murder mystery, bodice ripper, romantic comedy, found family adventure, spy thriller, bod—

Your face went red. Damn.

The priestess chose that moment to return to her room carrying a tray laden with bread, orange slices, and a thick mushroom stew leftover from dinner. She froze, pale cheeks turning a dusty rose as you silently pushed the book back onto the shelf.

“Dragon-born? Really?” You shoved a burning spoonful of stew in your mouth and drowned the stale crust of bread, waiting for it to get sufficiently soggy enough you could chew it.

Gwyn groaned and buried her face in her pillows. “It was a phase.”

“Must have been a very long phase. You have the whole series and I know it took her thirty years to write them all.”

Her head shot up. “How do you know?”

“I read the first book.”

You sat up straighter, back pressed up against the closet that housed her daily robes, ceremonial garb, training gear, and Valkyrie armour.

“So how can you judge me?!”

“It makes no anatomical sense, Gwyn!” You threw your hands up in the air. “She’s four feet shorter than him. He’d sooner tear her in half before giving her any pleasure, and I’m not talking about his claws.”

The priestess scoffed. “Have some imagination, Y/n.”

You huffed and pulled out a notebook from your ample pockets. You both spent the next thirty minutes going through hastily drawn sketches that would have disappointed Feyre to no end testing out your imaginative capabilities. Gwyn couldn’t stop smiling at you as you moved your hands through the air with animated fervor. Half of what you said didn’t make sense, but she would blame it on your sleep deprivation.

You had Gwyn in stitches. The female hung off the bed, red-brown hair brushing the ground as she gasped for breath. You looked like you were sitting on the ceiling, black robes pooled around your knees like shadows.

That sobered Gwyn up a bit. It was a real shame she liked you as much as she did. It made it harder for her to stay mad at Azriel.

And as if you read her mind, you asked, “Why don’t you come around to the River House?”

“What?” She wasn’t laughing anymore.

“Why don’t you come to the River House?” You asked again. “You’re close friends with Nesta. You’re part of the Inner Circle. You have a guest room there, but I haven’t seen you at the house.”

“Do you even spend enough time at the River House to know?”

“Yes.”

Gwyn sighed and straightened up, folding her legs neatly beneath her on the bed. “Some… Some things happened a couple years ago. I won’t bore you with the details and I don’t know if I even have the right to tell you everything, but it’s colored the way the Inner Circle works now.”

“The details are the most important part,” you murmured, “I wish I had more details. Then maybe I wouldn’t feel like such a stranger in that house.”

“You’re not a stranger,” Gwyn reassured you. “Is that why you spend so much time here?” she asked with genuine curiosity.

“Yes and no. It feels closer to home here. Even if your lack of organization has made my job ten times more difficult. I don’t see why you haven’t adopted any kind of classification system. It’s a small library. It would be very easy to implement.” You sighed and rubbed your eyes. Gods, you were tired. The feeling came and went in waves. “I shouldn’t complain though, everyone has been incredibly kind and welcoming. Especially Azriel.”

You wrapped your arms around yourself, fingers fluttering against your shoulders. You tucked your chin into your elbows and tried not to think about that glorious night of sleep with only Azriel and his shadows. Waking up with his chest rising and falling on the floor beside you.

You were falling for him and you knew it. Gods did you know it. Or maybe you could convince yourself you weren’t falling yet, but it was a steady march to the cliff’s edge and you weren’t stopping anytime soon.

Gwyn felt her heart stutter. “Oh? He’s usually so… quiet and… reserved.”

You thought about it for a long while.

“I don’t think he’s nearly as quiet as everyone believes him to be,” you said thoughtfully, “I think he just speaks in his own way.”

You were right about Godswood and The Gallows.

The letter arrived on your desk early in the morning.

The Bookkeeper, Taunum Hyst, was found trying to burn books in the western greenwoods along with some texts from Argot’s. He fought back against the guards sent to retrieve him, but he didn’t know what he was doing. Even now he’s confused and adamant that the last three weeks have been a blur. There’s a daemati at work here. Someone other than Henna. Rhysand knows, if he hasn’t already told you.

I’ve sent a translated folktale in old Bauldish and Common, and another in Demnyon along with the others you asked for. They might be worth looking into to help with the book. I hope you’re enjoying your stay at the Night Court. Happy hunting and stay safe.

~ Helion

You were right.

You dropped the letter, hands coming up to your mouth as you took in a deep, shaky breath. You knew Taunum Hyst. You could picture his salt-grey braids and coal-black skin. He’d helped perform the funeral rites for your mother. Hell he’d managed to make you laugh that terrible day.

Your stomach turned. If there truly was another daemati left in the Day Court that could help explain the killings. Either the Librarians could have died trying to keep the knowledge in their minds safe, or the daemati had made them kill themselves before moving onto their next victim. You didn’t know which was more tragic.

The clock rang eleven bells and you hastily folded up the paper, dropping it into the box along with the rest of your father’s letters.

“I think this might be the first time you’ve ever been late,” Rhysand said with an amused smirk. He leaned against the doorway to his office, ankles crossed over one another. Did that male ever stand normally?

“It is the first time.”

“Of course you would know that.”

You smirked, pushing open the door to find—

“Azriel?”

The Shadowsinger stood with his hands neatly folded behind his back. “Y/n?”

“Cassian!” The Lord of Bloodshed leapt in front of his brother, arms spread wide. “I’m also here. Nesta couldn’t make it with Valkyrie training.”

Feyre rolled her eyes with affection. She reached for Rhysand’s hand without thinking and he accepted with barely a glance. They were two magnets, always pulled towards one another in space.

“What’s going on?” You glanced back and forth between them all. It had always been just you and Rhysand during these lessons.

“I thought it would be good to start practicing with other people when it comes to physical touch,” Rhysand explained. Azriel’s nostrils flared. “You’re getting comfortable with me, which I’m happy about. But I want you to get comfortable with everyone else too.”

You told me you wanted another debrief about the Mortal Lands. Azriel was loath to admit that just the thought of touching your hand was making his heart race like a schoolboy.

And I do. Rhysand said rather smugly, as if he already knew Azriel was freaking out inside. But I also know you wouldn’t have agreed to this if I asked you ahead of time. It’s amusing to see you like this, brother. Have you forgotten how to touch a female? His violet eyes glittered with mischief.

Azriel swallowed, eyes trained on you as you mulled over Rhysand’s comment and nodded. You wanted to be comfortable too. Comfortable in your body. Comfortable with other people touching you.

You thought of what it might feel like to have Azriel’s hand tucked beneath your chin, not just his shadows, and shivered.

Azriel nearly choked when you started undoing the ties of your robes. The gold embroidered fabric slipped off your shoulders in a soft hush that had Azriel going rigid. You wore traditional Night Court fashion beneath your Librarian robes — a tight black shirt revealed the gentle curves of your arms, the cut of your collarbones against your chest, the thin band of flesh around your stomach; a breezy skirt with slits cut into the sides that revealed flashes of your thighs with every movement you made.

Feyre, Rhysand, and Cassian all shared looks, nearly bursting out laughing at the way Azriel’s shadows were in flight around him. A swarm of bees buzzing and murmuring about how beautiful you looked.

Azriel had seen many fae in his time in various states of undress. He’d seen males and females in the Court of Nightmares parade about in scraps of silk and lace. He’d taken countless lovers to bed. Bodies were something he knew well. Something he knew intimately. But he had never felt so flustered as he did looking at you like this. He thought his heart might just burst in his chest.

Cassian elbowed Azriel in the ribs when you weren’t looking and one of Azriel’s shadows looped around his ponytail and pulled.

“Ow.” Cassian rubbed the back of his head with a grin. “Rude.”

You felt rather ridiculous standing in the center of the room with your arms and legs stretched out to the side.

“Right arm,” Rhysand called out.

Cassian bounced back and forth on the balls of his feet, fists held loose by his sides with the lightness of a male a quarter of his size.

You squinted. Is he… is he about to punch me?

Cassian read the alarm on your face and grinned, hitting you with a tap gentler than rainfall.

You snorted, but felt nothing. Perfect.

You had to be grateful for Cassian’s light-heartedness. He had the worry melting off your shoulders. With every limb that Rhys called out, Cassian would do a little dance before punching you or kicking you. At one point he even faked a blow to your face, spinning up to you before leaping into the air and shooting out his right leg. You didn’t flinch as his boot swung an inch away from your face. You could smell the rubber soles of his boots.

“You missed,” you teased.

Cassian pouted, turning around to walk back to the wall now that he was finished with his piece. Azriel looked ready to tear his head off his body.

You’re lucky you missed. Azriel’s eyes screamed across the room. You’d be a dead man if you hurt her.

Cassian winked and blew him a kiss.

Feyre was next. You practiced brushing against her like you would do in a crowded street complete with the obligatory fumbling of apologies.

“Oh good heavens.” Feyre fanned her face like the old, upper-class women in her village used to do and laid on that sickly sweet accent they all had. “I’m so dreadfully sorry.” — They never were.

She shook your hand and touched your shoulders and looped her arm around your waist. That was the part that had you worried. You slid your power away from every inch of your skin, wrapped it up like a secret, and held it deepin your chest.

“Good.” Rhysand smiled and Cassian punched the air.

You breathed deeply and gave a small bow like you’d just finished a performance. But there was still one person you were meant to touch today, and they made you the most nervous of all.

Azriel stepped forward, a picture of calm. Inside, he was raging like a storm. He kept his hands firmly grasped behind his back, wings pressed so tightly he felt his shoulders start to ache.

You took a step forward as well, tilting your head back to look at him. You felt the grip on your power falter when he held out his hand palm up like he was asking you for a dance. Months ago at the Summer Solstice ball you’d been approached by a number of males hoping for a song with their hands at your waist and at your shoulder. The prospect of that kind of touch had terrified you then, and it still terrified you now but for different reasons. Because this time, you wanted it.

You wanted him.

You gently slid your hand into his, feeling the scars roll beneath your soft skin like the mountains that surrounded Velaris. Your breath caught in your throat, but before Azriel could rip his hand away you held on and squeezed reassuringly.

You’d read hundreds, if not thousands, of romance novels in your time. You’d consumed them with a ravenous hunger, surviving on them when real touch felt like a hopeless dream and the loneliness became too much to bear. And in nearly every single one of them, the first touch between lovers was described as an explosion of color. A dangerous shaking of the world down to its foundations. A cataclysmic event.

But you were surprised to find that they were wrong. They were all wrong. Azriel wasn’t destroying anything. He was mending.

It felt like a re-centering. The shifting of a leaning tower so it stood upright again.

A blissful silence.

Azriel cradled your hand in his, thumbs smoothing over your knuckles. He couldn’t help what he did next, couldn’t have stopped himself even if Helion stood at his back with murder in his eyes.

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of your hand with such reverence, such tenderness, that you swore your heart was glowing in your chest.

“Why don’t you try a hug, Y/n?” Rhysand suggested when Azriel had straightened. “If you want.”

You looked down at your feet where shadows swarmed, and then up at Azriel.

“What do you say, Y/n?” Azriel murmured softly. His words were for you and you only. “Where would you have me touch you?” His hazel eyes caught the light before scattering into a thousand brilliant colors.

Wordlessly you ran your fingers down his arms, tracing the shape of the muscle beneath the leather. You held his hands and gently led them up to your waist, gasping when he made contact. His warm fingers brushed the exposed skin of your waist before sliding around to your back.

You balanced on the tips of your toes, looping your arms around his neck before resting your face in the hollow between his neck and shoulder. He smelled like leather and the mountains. Wind and rain and nightfall coalescing into something so uniquely him you could pick him out in a room of thousands with your eyes closed.

It started out as a loose, misshapen thing, your hands and his arms searching for the right grip to hold your bodies together. But once you found it, you were lost.

Azriel wrapped his arms around your back and waist, hands splayed out like he was absorbing you into him. And you were no better. You buried your face in his neck, lips pressed up against the curve of his throat so you could feel the rhythmic rush of blood through his veins.

He refused to be the first to let go. The roof could cave in. The floor could drop out from beneath your feet. He would not let you go.

Your tears started out slow, coupled by ragged, shallow breaths.

“I’ve got you, Y/n,” Azriel whispered. “I’ve got you.”

How long had it been since you’d been held like this? A hundred years? Two hundred? You thought you’d learned to live without it, but now that it was yours you didn’t think you’d ever, ever be able to give it up. You were at the cliff’s edge now and without an ounce of hesitation you flung yourself over and into the abyss.

With Azriel, controlling your powers didn’t seem like such a difficult thing. Later that evening when you lay in bed staring up at the ceiling, you realized you hadn’t been thinking of control at all.

<- Previous Chapter Next Chapter ->

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Author's Note:

Y'all... THEY FINALLY TOUCHED EACH OTHER! And not only that, BUT HE KISSED HER HAND!!! And! They fucking HUGGED!!!!

#azriel x reader #azriel x reader slow burn #azriel x y/n #azriel x you #the shadowsinger and the inkbird

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beemochi-art · 11 months ago

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PAX AND ARIEL! Simpler times, Happier times. Back when everything thing made sense and nothing mattered but each other.

Orion comes from a higher background. Thanks to alpha trion, Orion was able to become an archivist and get proper medical treatment for his condition, he loves learning all he can about everything but history is what he likes most.

While training for his position as an archivist apprentice. He noticed a cleaner in the halls. She was out of place for the job she was taking on. A pretty femma hauling big ass loads of trash out of the building and then coming back for more, getting her beautiful plating dirty and not giving a shit about it. She was super strong too. He was enamored. Orion was also curious how she has such a difficult and dirty job when she could easily be doing something else, She was beautiful. Plenty of companies were looking for secretaries. When she had a break He gained the confidence to talk to her.

On Ariel’s side he walked up and she was instantly attracted. They got to talking and she simply answered Orion’s question with “I have my reasons.” She brushed over the subject and asked him out on a date. Orion was dumbfounded but ultimately ecstatic.

Things moved pretty fast. (They Rizzed each other) They were both incredibly comfortable in each other’s presence and pretty much spent most of their free time hanging out, cuddling, flirting, doing things in places they shouldn’t. Orion tried to hide his condition from her the best he could in the beginning but ultimately just caused more harm to himself. He thought she would leave if she found out because it’s a rare condition but a debilitating one. They exact opposite happened Ariel would educate herself about his condition to try and help him best she could, caring around extra inhalers and doing venting exercises. Orion’s condition would never go away but her being there and making sure he was taking care of himself made him need his inhaler less than he usual did.

Ariel is a lower class mecha. Most of her past and information is either unknown or she’s unwilling to share. Orion never pushed her. She’s a bit of a troublemaker and seems to go wherever she wants too (rule breaking is new to Orion). Ariel’s job is shitty, the mechs she works with are bottom of the barrel scum and don’t like Orion. But she refuses to quit for whatever reasons. But it has short hours so she has more time to hang around Orion. She sometimes is self deprecating and tells Orion he could do better, and that she would only cause problems for him. He doesn’t care tho and would do anything to convince her he’s not going anywhere.

After dating for like a year or two, they agreed when Ariel had all her ducks in a row, they would conjunx. Orion wouldn’t mind conjunxing her that day but it was her decision.

That however that didn’t work out.

#transformers #my art #transformers au #elita one #tf Ariel #ariel #orion pax #tf orion pax #Optimus prime #oplita

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chowadoe · 1 year ago

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so more on that role reversal au...

Shadow (created as a Weapon Against Humanity) who was eventually raised, and exploited, by G.U.N to become Humanity's Ultimate weapon and Sonic, found by Robotnik

some more expanded thoughts below ^_^

SHADOW - G.U.N AGENT

Shadow was initially created with the intention of being a Weapon Against Humanity. after a life-altering incident, G.U.N. takes Shadow into their custody, raising him to become one of their top agents, exploiting him.

he's constantly under government surveillance... inhibitor rings (developed by G.U.N.) are clamped onto him like a shock collar so he is unable to tap into his full power. (Shadow has neither tested nor does he know the extent of his strength.. he has never tried removing them. G.U.N. is the only one who can remove them.)

the hypocritical method in wanting their weapon (cough trained dog) to exercise and develop restraint on his own terms, and yet forcefully acclimating him.

Shadow’s aware of his past. Definitely struggles with Existential dread about why he’s on Earth and what he was made for. he wants to (and feels like he should) do good, but if he was initially made with destructive intent… is he compensating this way? is this what he really wants? no.. he shouldn't think like that.. Maria would want him to be good..

If not to make the world the better a place, if they still treat his kind as inferior and sometimes, even a threat to the whole human race, does humanity and this planet still deserve its rite for redemption? What is humanity? Is that something he’s capable of, as a weapon of mass destruction?

what is he trying to prove here? His docility? His ability to be obedient and be, by human standards, good? what does that mean in a world that may never accept them, and much less him- a synthetic and all-unnatural organism forged from humanity’s worst and an alien race only capable of Evil and wrongdoing. a being so perfectly suited for any and all forms of persecution. Humankind’s scapegoat. He thinks about Maria.

Maria remains a guiding light. Back then, she would sneak Shadow out to gaze upon the Earth, her former home. She misses it, the lush greenery, the sun, the people. she hopes that Shadow will get to experience what it’s like.

au shadow is emo edgy in a sad wet adult 40yo cat leon kennedy kind of way. au sonic is emo edgy like a 14yo that found out you could buy a tattoo gun on amazon without a license. I know nothing about resident evil

when he's not on a mission, he's usually in his "room" (extremely generous word for containment chamber/training facility.) he's like a hamster in a cage with toys to play with . (treadmills. race tracks. dummy robots. Ak-47s.) He's allowed to freely roam HQ from hours 6am-10pm, and if not, he is usually escorted by a guard, unless its Rouge sneaking him out. But beyond that, it's not like the ultimate lifeform needs that much sleep, and it'd be bad to have their ultimate weapon roaming the halls without supervision. but let's say there's the occasional nocturnal scavenger providing him a bit of nightly mischief that even the most complicated most difficult to navigate ventilation system cannot keep a natural-born burrower out..... (haha)

SONIC - ACCOMPLICE

Robotnik’s “accomplice” (adoptive son?)

Sonic goes along with Robotnik’s schemes but has his own ulterior motives .. after all, working under someone is still infringing on his sense of freedom, independence, and pride.

He only rlly helps out Robotnik out if it helps him… robotnik makes some new tech that tickles his , esp if smth that happens to enhance his existing abilities. sure he’s more than capable of doing things on his own but what’s better than to play with his new toys with his already existing toys (GUN. shadow.)

and if he manages to break them in a day then he’s found an issue that robotnik needs to troubleshoot immediately. eggman should really be Thanking him!

his only known goal atm is to find things that stave off his boredom. from what Shadow's gathered at least. but maybe there's more...

has a very bad No Good Fixation on shadow's inhibitor rings for whatever reason. wonder that could mean.

Still fucking around with roles and nothing's rlly set in stone. Im just kind of giggling kicking rocks and throwing pebbles in the water to see what lands ^q^

Rouge is still there! A contractor for G.U.N. A Recovering/reformed Jewel thief who joins the task force (maybe?)

the gang is also there! still brainstorming roles though. emrmmm

#sonadow #shadow the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog #sonic #sth #okay enjoyyy

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tuliptic · 8 months ago

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Start Line: Growing and Transforming

We've been running this far, non-stop, all day yeah Never getting tired, we keep up this runner's high You know graduation Even though it's over, it's not the end Put on some new shoes Yeah we're ready at the start line

Things have been difficult for a lot of us, and sometimes, we just want a flicker of hope, or some words of encouragement that can push us to go further. Just… Something, a message, to tell us that the pain we’re going through right now is temporary, and things will be better.

Close your eyes, meditate on this topic and tell yourself that you’re on a brand new start line, and ask for the messages you’re called to hear. Breathe in and out, make sure your mind and heart is calm. Then, open your eyes to see which pile talks to you the most/draws you in the most. Once you’ve found your pile, scroll down to the respective parts to see what are the messages for you.

Pile 1 - Pile 2

Pile 3 - Pile 4

Disclaimer: This is solely for my entertainment purposes. Take only whatever you feel like it. If it doesn’t resonate, it’s okay to just drop it. Also, I do not consent to my work or images being used by third parties on this platform or other websites as well.

Decks used: Crossing Star Tarot Deck (Major Arcana), Linestrider Tarot Deck, Sweet Dreams Oracle Deck, Starcodes Astro Oracle Deck, self-made lyrics deck.

Pile 1

One card to represent you: The Magician rx

The first thought that popped into my mind is that… You’ve probably been told (many times) that you’re a good manifestor, but you have not seen it working out for you, or at least, not at the moment. You’ll need to try an error (or maybe errors) to find what works for you, and what works best for you. It can be rather disheartening to fail, but look for the opportunities in life’s challenges and learn the lessons. You work better by letting your physical body learn rather than your brain to absorb the knowledge. You probably have also noticed your tendency to self-sabotage, but you don’t intend to do anything about it. Perhaps, not at the moment, as you’re not in a right place yet to fix yourself, but you need to remember it and to work on it.

1. Why have things happened? - Four of Cups

You have been too focused on what you’re feeling and not looking at the outer world, on whatever that’s happening around you or to you. This definitely has something to do with The Magician rx above, where you’re sabotaging yourself and not focusing on the present. It’s giving me very… Neptune rx in Pisces vibes, so some of you who picked this pile may have Pisces placements. It’s like living in the world yet not living at the same time, where you’re floating and drifting, not seeing where you’re at or where you’re going. Life has been throwing you opportunities to learn the lessons, but you’re not learning it. Not to mention that you’re not organising what it is that you’re feeling inside and to do something about it. With all of that happening, some of you may feel you’re at a standstill or some will have their head and heart wrapped up in different bags and not know how to unify them.

2. How to stop your train of thoughts and start again from where you’re standing? - Knight of Pentacles rx

You have to stop dilly-dallying, and pick up the pace if you want to move away from where you’re standing. Sure, ADHD paralysis is difficult to deal with when you’re frozen (I’m referring to myself as well, in case y’all think I’m attacking anyone), but it is already something if you can move yourself away from the way of harm first. My first thought here is to train your body to be able to move on autopilot from time to time, which will help you in countless ways. Sure, you’re still sluggish and unenthusiastic, but let your body move first, exercise, and let your brain rest during those times. Another way you can attempt to stop those thoughts is to get help. Not only external help from professionals, but more of building healthy interpersonal relationships. True friends will want to help you to be better, and will be willing to spend some time to accompany you to carry out activities that are beneficial for both of you.

3. What to look forward to? - The Magician rx

You’ll be able to tap into your energy. I do think that this is a time for you to work together with your manifestation talent/skill, and for you to decide which direction you want to head. You need to remember that the direction you’re going is not something fixed, so no worries in making a decision. You can change that anytime, or go on a different journey if it doesn’t fit you. The more important thing is to have a welcoming heart, to dream and invite limitless magic into your life, allow your guides to show in unexpected ways. Do not be afraid, go step by step and find out what works for you. Of course, you can look forward to this if you take action. If you’re not doing anything, do not hope or wish for things to fall directly into your laps.

4. What have you left behind and grown from? - The Tower

You’ve gone through a huge upheaval, you’ve gone through a lot of chaos and traumas in the past. Now, you’re going through another fundamental shift. It may not be as tremendous and messy as it was in the past, but this shift is something more of an energy thing, where you need to learn to be more selective with where and who you want to spend your energy on. This energy encompasses mental, spiritual and physical energy, and you have to remember that you’re also an exhaustible being, where you can’t focus on others forever. Look back, and you’ll see how far you’ve gone from that unhappy place. Remind yourself that you’re able to do it again. Once you’ve grown from it, you’ll also be more free to explore your skills and abilities. You’ve always had a tendency to have a foot in almost everything, and with you now knowing how to distribute your energy and time? You definitely can. You can try focusing on what’s in front of you instead of attempting to explore far, you might find treasures closer to you instead.

5. When will things start getting better? When will you get your justice? - The Chariot

The Chariot talks about action and goal. I don’t think I need to say much on this, as it’s pretty self explanatory. However, remember to hold onto your reins as you move towards wherever it is you’re heading. You need to have a clear goal and a destination, else you’ll run out of energy/fuel, and you may end up in different places. You’ll need a clear and visible goal, and the stages need to be well defined and measurable. You get strength from seeing actual results, and that’s when you gain the confidence to continue moving forward. You will get justice when you’re moving forward. The justice here is internal, as it is more towards countering the self-sabotaging part of you. It’s difficult, but once you wipe the tears and bite on the happiness you’re seeing, you’ll know your purpose in life, and you’ll taste that justice.

6. Advice for you - Five of Pentacles, Nine of Cups rx, Ace of Cups rx

Some of you may be facing financial difficulties or even health problems. It’s best if you work on them now as you prepare for what it is to come. It can be quite disheartening at times when you question and wonder why hard times fall on you more often than others. This may also result in an unhealthy stream of emotions. Emotions itself isn’t a bad thing, the problem would be how you’re managing it. Don’t hold them in and stack them up. Find a safe place to release them, understand those emotions and nurture yourself back. Place your trust in the Universe, believe that whatever that is happening to you right now is part of a greater plan. Twist your thoughts a little, see it as a blessing where you’re finding problems when it’s still salvageable (it’s still painful but hey, we can work on it eventually). Tune into your heart, listen to your wishes, and look at what you have achieved throughout the years. Your wishes of the past are now fulfilled, and you’ve finally built the life you’ve wanted when you were much younger. Well, it may exist in different forms, or you’ve gotten it not according to how you originally planned, but it’s there. Know that you can change your wishes into reality because you have the power. Believe in yourself. Let’s say if you want to recover faster, you can manifest quicker healing. You can. Just make sure that you do not fall into the habit of feeling dejected and dissatisfied quickly. Hold on to a heart of gratitude. It will open up doors for you.

Overall energy: The Tower rx, Six of Pentacles

There’s a mix of energy here. You’re unsatisfied that things have gone out of your control, yet there’s also a sense of relief that you are not responsible over those things going out of control. Despite the difficult times, you still hold generosity in your heart, where you offer what you have (materials, energy, time) to those who need them. In turn, you’ll also be blessed with what you need. Accept help given to you with an open heart and a grateful attitude. The greater plan the Universe has in mind for you may have something to do with people and connection, so that may be an aspect you want to pay attention to. Things or memories from the past can be resurfacing, so stop hiding or running away, and face them.

Pile 2

One card to represent you: Death

First thing I’m picking up here is that you’re going through a lot of changes right now, and the next thing is that… You’re being watched over. There's a lot, and I mean A WHOLE LOT of things that are going on right now, and they’re overflowing your plate. I could sense a certain level of panic and dread over everything, but there’s also some form of apathy where you’re tired of everything and anything happening all at once. There’s too much that’s going on to the point you have no idea where or what to focus on, so you’re probably at a standstill where you’re looking at the overflowing plate, doing nothing. I’d say that this is a “freeze” response because you’re at a point where you can’t process anything at the moment, but once your brain starts spinning again, you’ll get things done. You have people watching over you, or your guides are protecting you at this time. Imagine you’re standing still in the middle of the path but no one is hitting you. It’s like that. Your guides are making sure that you have enough time to process whatever that’s happening to you and around you. Once you start moving, they’ll follow behind you and help you out when you ask them, especially when you’re facing any confrontation.

1. Why have things happened? - The Hermit rx

You’ve withdrawn yourself from certain aspects of life (friendship, or work, or a certain class, or even a hobby) with attempts of healing yourself and to give yourself more time. Sure, you’ve got the time, but those times were not spent on yourself, those free times were not helping you, but the other people in your life. In another sense, you were still busy, and you did not get the rest you needed. There’s a certain level of emptiness that I’m feeling here, and that you’re torn as well, not sure if you want to fill that emptiness or you want to remain it as so because of the comfort of being used to it. Do you trust yourself, with the steps and decisions you’ve been making? BET ON ME by ITZY was playing as I typed this out, and I do feel that there’s a message in this song for you.

2. How to stop your train of thoughts and start again from where you’re standing? - King of Pentacles rx

King of Pentacles is generally the last card of the deck, and what I'm seeing here is that you still have a lot more to go, that things are not final yet, and you have the ability (King) to change things to your favour. I understand that you're currently in a flight or freeze mindset, but you need to work your brain to trick it a little so that it moves, and you can reprogram it a little so that you can move away from the spot you froze. Be kind to yourself and let go of those thoughts that are haunting you, step away from those self-criticism, know that you deserve gentleness. The King is abundant in finances, life experience, but I'd also like to add connections into this list. To be a King, you must have known to pull strings around to make things work, to make sure you win the trust of the people. To achieve that, you need good and skillful people who are willing to listen to your plans and to make them work. Those connections are what will help you throughout your difficult times. Sure, people may have turned you down in the past, but know that they may not be in any position to extend any help back then, and that things may be different now. They will be more capable now. Some… May have a really painful tongue, not filtering their words. But still, they will help, and you'll be surprised with what they're able to offer.

3. What to look forward to? - Ten of Cups rx

This… probably is not gonna sound ideal to a lot of people but… You can look forward to having a fresh start. It's like the cups you have are now poured clean, and you are forced to redo things again, to fill them up again but this time, you get to choose what you fill them up with. Previously, when you were growing up, people around you filled those cups for you, helping you make decisions (that you may not like or agree with), or even tainting them (putting droplets of other things in it), and those form you to who you are today. But, by pouring them clean (a very, very painful process), you are now able to pour and fill your cups with whatever you want and whatever you need. You'll be able to work with your dreams and spirit's energy to reach your highest good as you fiercely protect your cups, your energy, your life. Your life is now yours to write.

4. What have you left behind and grown from? - Three of Wands

It feels like you have left behind a lot of original plans that you have made for yourself in the past as you build yourself anew. There's a lot of internal cleansing done, and you've decided to start everything from scratch again. You'll be able to build things again and fully immerse yourself in a new future you'll create. You've learnt to grow from pain and to see the smaller happiness in life, learning to accept that growth is inevitable. Visualisation is also vital here, where you will need to immerse yourself in whatever you have now as you visualise where you will be standing in the future. You decide your own path, and you have to walk it.

5. When will things start getting better? When will you get your justice? - Ten of Swords rx

Things will start getting better once you pull out all the swords from your back. There's a lot of… Purging. Yeah, purging is a more suitable word to use for your situation. Your situation is like the shelf full of ceramic plates that will crash the moment you open that door. But you still need to open it, you'll need to let all of those fall, and you can clean it, to make space for new items to put in. You now can choose metal plates, or plastic plates to put in, whatever it is that you want. But first, you need to clean the space, only then you'll invite limitless magic into your life and allow your spirit guides to show up in unexpected ways. They are there for you, through a breeze, through a flyer, through a sudden noise to stop you from crossing the road. Once you've made space, that's when you'll get your justice by living your best self.

6. Advice for you - King of Wands rx, Strength rx, Six of Swords rx

There's another King card here, telling me that whatever you're going through right now is not an easy one. It probably will be there a little longer and it is what will help you to build up your upcoming new life, to start everything again. You will need to be at peace with yourself and be kind to yourself first. Turn your strength and focus inwards, nurture yourself, and do not shy from cutting people out of your life if they drain you too much, even if they are family. You need to understand that you are your own universe, and you are your own priority. If you do not prioritise yourself, no one will. Others do not have that responsibility over you, so let yourself breathe. For now, heal your wounds, use it as your badge of honour, and live your life as how you see fit. Remember, it is you who define who you are, not your past.

Overall energy: Strength, Nine of Wands

There's a lot of strength in you, actually, just that you have not known how to work with it right now, not sure how to turn that strength for yourself. You have been resilient in everything you do, no matter how battered up you are, so let those tension fall from you. Sit down in peace and quiet as you receive the messages from your guides, letting them guide you through this time of difficulty. Trust your feelings, they know you better than yourself. Listen to your emotions, they understand your needs better. Act on them when needed, you will know when the timing is right.

Pile 3

One Two cards to represent you: The Tower rx, The Chariot rx

I'm… Not exactly that surprised to see two cards falling out. The Tree in this image symbolises the Tree of Life as I was doing the reading, so some of you who picked this pile may be told that you guys are knowledgeable or do possess some extensive knowledge in very specific fields. And with this knowledge comes expectations, which can be seen with two cards falling out for you. With these two cards, what I'm immediately picking on is that… You are in a phase of life that can be quite challenging right now, where things that are beyond your control are happening almost all at once, and you're losing your balance as you continue to run on the uneven paths. You're growing exhausted as you're being chased with expectations and by your own sense of duty. So, please take a break when you need it.

1. Why have things happened? - Three of Pentacles rx

There have been conflicts going on with you and your social circles, may it be disagreements between classmates/colleagues, or getting shunned by them for not going along with them. There’s a slight hint of one being an outcast here. Correlating to the cards representing you, how you became an outcast is also due to what you're going through life right now, requiring you to put a hold onto a lot of other things, including assignments and/or socialisation, etc. Your intuition has been your assistant throughout these times of perils, and it's giving me that you do know how and why you're in a situation that's making you stagnant. Not sure if you are capable of breaking that ice or you're resting at the moment before you take the first step out. Either way, unlike most people, you know where you’re standing at right now, and you do know how to make changes towards a new you if needed.

2. How to stop your train of thoughts and start again from where you’re standing? - Three of Swords

This is probably a weird way to put it, but you need to use your pain as a tool to help you get back to the present. You may be able to perceive pain differently, like… It's to prove that you're still living, that you're still alive, and you still can make changes to the situation you're in. You need to remind yourself that you're beloved, and that the Universe loves you and is throwing hints at you through very… questionable ways. Trust your inner wisdom and intuition, let them guide you to where you're supposed to be. Oddly, I'd say that you have been through something similar before, but you kinda panicked when your previous methods no longer work for this situation. This is the time where you need to find a new method that will help you develop your senses, and for you to be at peace with yourself again. Coping mechanisms, but let it help you with more than just coping.

3. What to look forward to?- The Chariot rx

I'd say that things will slow down, not because the problems are resolved, but because the tires have worn out. Your nightmare and problems have also run out of strength to go after you, which gives you a quick chance to take a small break before you retreat to somewhere safer, where you build a new coping mechanism and possibly plans for the upcoming problems. I'd also say that this is a good time for you to make new connections that will be helpful in the long run. Don't worry about burdening others, as I believe that there will be a chance for you to help them back. Friendships and connections are mutual, where both parties benefit from them. Not sure if you’re the type who’d welcome new changes. Nevertheless, challenges will be coming your way for you to level up. I’d say that these challenges are coming in a way where you’re capable of managing it. From there, you’ll experience a new sort of rebirth, and you’ll find a new identity that works with you better.

4. What have you left behind and grown from? - King of Pentacles

I have no idea why but I'm sensing some… Familial relationships and expected duties? Most of you may be working with establishing healthy boundaries with your family, making sure that the roles are properly and fairly distributed. It also feels like… Financial responsibilities aren't yours alone, and the entire family will need to figure out how to contribute and prepare for any emergencies. You’re now the King, where you have a comfortable relationship with your finances, knowing that it’s yours, your property, and you have every right to access it and to use it without guilt. There may be a chance where your family or extended relatives have guilt-tripped you to sacrifice or contribute to their needs, and you’re unapologetically free from those now. You now learn to trust your intuition more and let your inner wisdom guide you through your way subconsciously. It’s now a part of your life where you don’t really need to sit and listen, as you’re driving on auto-pilot by your subconsciousness.

5. When will things start getting better? When will you get your justice? - The Sun rx

I'd say that things will start getting better at unexpected times, or even at times when you can't see hope. The Sun is unable to shine on all people, it's unable to pierce through thick walls, but it doesn't mean it's not there. The Sun here feels mellow, like it's keeping its warmth and heat in check to not burn the other living beings that it's feeding. There’s also another message here that is assuring you that good things take time, and that you’ll need to be kind to yourself so that those blessings arrive and you’re ready to receive them wholeheartedly. The entire thing is a journey, and the roads can be bumpy. But still, what matters is the journey and you’re able to reach your final goal in a good condition, so take your time as you tread through those paths. Once you start walking and taking action, luck will fall by your side and accompany you through this journey.

6. Advice for you - Nine of Pentacles rx, Knight of Wands, Knight of Cups

You may be using your time unwisely by focusing on things that do not exactly benefit you. I’m not saying that you can’t, but you need to set your priorities straight and know what is the final goal of your actions. You may start a project that requires you to invest and purchase tools, when you’re rushing a deadline that’s gonna affect your assignment and final’s results. By doing this, you’re in a way, not planning well. Sure, you get your emotional fulfilment, but it also comes at the price of you failing your semester (touchwood). Passion projects can be fun, but you need to plan your time well, plan your resources well, plan your enthusiasm as well. The planning happens behind closed doors. Others will see how well you portray yourself and be drawn to you, but you need to remember the need for continuous effort for you to achieve the best results. The public, or people around you may gather around you because of how well you have a grip over yourself, and once things have calmed down, feel free to let yourself loose a little. People will show up around you, and it’s totally fine for you to enjoy the attention and affection. You just need to remember how much you’ve put in to build yourself, and not let others take you for granted, or to take advantage of your skills or what you have to offer.

Overall energy: Strength, Four of Wands rx

Strength and beauty comes in all forms possible, even through pain and tears. This is something that you’ll be learning to accept through this difficult time. Most of us may understand the beauty and appeal of pain, but not many can accept it. Whatever we’re going through right now makes us learn and accept it, to come to terms with it. Of course, changes come along with it and we will need to learn to adapt to it, to build a “New You” as you face the upcoming challenges. Know that whatever you’re doing right now is a pre-requirement for you to achieve your dreams. You are your own world, and you can change the world as you grace the strong wind standing your way.

Pile 4

One card to represent you: The Devil

What I’m feeling here is that you tend to have a certain level of control over some things in your life. The control here isn’t exactly pleasant, where it may be imbalanced and there can be some arguments going on. Temptations are heard as well. You know you’re stuck in some loop where you can’t escape, and you have no intention of escaping. The picture for this pile is somehow giving me Sex and The City vibes, where the neon lights (benefits, financial resources, interests) have been the focus of your sight, and this allows you to have a different perspective, or for you to see things differently from your peers.

1. Why have things happened? - Strength rx

You have lost strength, internal strength mainly. You were not surrounded by those who supported you, and your energy was depleted bit by bit as you tried to fit in. You have put yourself in a position where you depend on the actions and feelings of others, and you may have given up on your instinctive responses, not having the self-discipline and control you need. The Lion is your passion, and it’s now your enemy, threatening to destroy whatever stability and name you’ve built. Imagine a woman trying to tame the agitated lion and the two ended up in a fight, while the spectators (wrong group of friends) by the side just watched.

2. How to stop your train of thoughts and start again from where you’re standing? - Knight of Swords

You’ll need to start taking care of yourself, listen to yourself. You’re a person who prides your intelligence, and you tend to be in your own head a lot. However, you’ve listened to the noises out there that have affected you in a negative way. Not to say that you’re supposed to go back into the state of being in your own headspace, but for you to pay attention to yourself more, to listen to the voices of your heart instead of the external noises. You’ve always been head>heart, and now you’ll need to go head<heart. You may not like how different this… new routine is, but you will also know that it has to be done, as you’ve been seeing messages of this “new path” around. Balancing out the heart voices and head nagging is important, and this is how you shall start. You also need to remember you yourself, are the source of everything essentially you. You build yourself; you create yourself. You are not built on the words or acceptance of others. You need to remind yourself that you are already doing well, and the expectations of others are not yours to bear.

3. What to look forward to? - Ace of Wands

New beginnings come with changes. Once you’ve chosen a different voice to listen to, you’ll be able to regain energy, bit by bit, to attempt more changes in your life. Opportunities will surely come your way when you accept the positive energy around you, and it’s up to you to seize them and make them work. It’s a time for you to follow your instincts and have courage. Take action when you need them. That aside, it’s suggested that you return to your roots as you venture through this bright explosion of good energy. Remember the importance of grounding yourself and go back to the basics from time to time. It’s not only to cleanse your heart, but also serves as a reminder of where you came from, and how you need to be in touch with your past and nature.

4. What have you left behind and grown from? - Six of Wands

What I’m seeing here is that you’ve put down the yearn and drive for fame and luxuries, and have redefined success for yourself. You’ve awakened from the past and start to feel more energised, learning to start your days in a better mood as you count your victories. More people are recognizing your achievements as they approach you with interest. As you compare what you had and what you’re having now (or will be having in the future), you’ll be able to evaluate better and have a clearer idea of the direction you want to take next. You are warned of self-doubt and lack of confidence. You have to believe in your abilities and worth so people can trust you, so that you can trust and confide in yourself.

5. When will things start getting better? When will you get your justice? - Eight of Wands

Eight of Wands is a card that talks about movements. Once you’re moving, once you’re taking action, that’s when you’ll see things turning out different for you. You’ll start to receive things or messages that you’ve been waiting for, and it’s time for you to stop stalling. If you’re interested in someone, you will have to walk towards them and work for it. You’ll be able to attract a loving, happy, fulfilling relationship into your life as you’re no longer the old you. Remember, birds of the same kind flock together, and the same goes with people too. You attract people of your level. You want that person who’s active and charming? Be proactive in approaching them. Your justice will come in unexpected forms, but most of it would be releasing of past hurt. There will be times where you’ll want to hug yourself to sleep as you were reminded of how things have been difficult. This is one of the healing phases where you slowly let things go. The lighter you are, the better you become. This is also because the karma of those who’ve wronged you will not be tied to you anymore.

6. Advice for you - The Star, King of Cups rx, Nine of Cups

Rebuild yourself. This probably sounds difficult and too… idealised? But this is what you need to do. The Star is there to tell you that there’s a silver lining behind every grey cloud, that you’re not broken beyond repair, and that you’re able to work yourself up to another peak. This card is an extremely gentle card, so take that message and be gentle to yourself as well. You’ll need to practise self-compassion, listen to your inner feelings, cultivate yourself and let yourself grow into your very best self. Love others by first loving yourself, don’t forget about the promises you’ve made to yourself. Make new and healthy connections as you flourish. If you wish for them, they’ll come into your life. Learn to be content with the gifts you’re having everyday, learn to hold gratitude with what the Earth is offering you. With the amount of Cups here, try getting close to bodies of water (beach, sea, waterfall, etc). Water may be a healing element for you. Alternatively, try doing activities that are related to creativity (crafting, writing, drawing, or something that’s symbolistic) as they can be an outlet of your heart’s wants, which you can understand better from the results of your craft. Remember to stay hydrated too.

Overall energy: Justice, Eight of Swords

Justice is really your theme right now. You’ve been choosing to run away from the obvious, but it’s high time that you wake up, pull down the blinds that have been covering your eyes and to see the truth for who he is. The first action needed for every awakening is to open your eyes and acknowledge whatever that has been going wrong. Only then you’re able to take action towards a better situation. You’ll need to open up your heart and invite new changes in, welcome new beginnings in. The theme of Justice can be difficult and painful, but it’s necessary for you as you transform bit by bit, cutting down the vines that have been tying you down, severing unhealthy ties that have been binding you down (refer to The Devil). Get back your own autonomy, treat yourself right, let justice be served on who deserves them.

#tuliptic #🌷#pick a card #pick a pile #tarot reading #general tarot reading #self related reading #i finally completed this #this took so much time and energy and guess what i've been lacking these days?#time and energy!#work is finally less hectic and i now have time to do this too #special thanks to andy my bro for suggesting this topic #i had a hard time picking a topic to work with so yeah #this helps!#and it also serves as a self reminder #hopefully you guys find this helpful #cheers #(off i go to sleep at almost 12am)

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heartofa-poet · 29 days ago

Text

NESTA’S DAYDREAM

https://archiveofourown.org/works/46449832

A ‘what if’ take on Nesta’s fantasy about having BOTH Cass and Az that was cut (supposedly) from A Court of Silver flames - basically pure smut with a bat boy threesome

Word count 6.3k

!MDNI! - heavy smut, slight angst, threesome

More works on my Ao3 (linked above)!!!

——————————————————————————-

The clash of steel on steel echoed around the wide, open space, fighting for Nesta's attention. Morning sunlight glanced off of heavy blades that seemed to glow with some inner fire, fuelled by the mighty warriors who wielded them. It had become a sort of routine, watching them spar. Every morning, Nesta would make her way to the training ring to find Cassian and Azriel already waiting. She would start warming up, loosening her sore muscles and trying very, very hard not to let her mind wander into filthy territory. The two warriors would spar for any time between ten minutes and half an hour before the Shadowsinger excused himself, clearly having other duties to fulfil. Leaving Nesta alone with a very sweaty Cassian and a gruelling session ahead of her that would require her complete and utter focus. She had also found that on some mornings, it was more difficult to stop the onslaught of filth that filled every corner of her brain than it was on others.

Unfortunately for her, this morning was turning out to be particularly brain addling.

The duo moved in such a way that she could feel her mouth going dry, her pulse pounding under her skin in a way that had nothing to do with the basic exercises she was running through as a warm up. Both of them had forgone shirts due to the unseasonably warm morning, and the chiseled shapes of their muscled torsos gleamed with a fine coating of sweat. Cassian was bulkier, an unstoppable force of such power and might as he swung his blade downward towards the leaner form of the Spymaster. Nesta's breath caught in her throat as the razor sharp edge seemed a hairs breadth away from felling the general's opponent, but a swift sidestep had Azriel quickly gaining the upper hand. Only the faint ruffling of his dark hair from the force with which Cassian had brought the sword down showed any indication of the fact that Azriel had been moments away from being skewered.

If Cassian was the fiery strength and the fury of a thousand armies, Azriel was the cold, calculating swiftness of an agent of death itself. Nesta had believed Cassian to be the stronger opponent, but Azriel was quick as hell, and fought dirty. Perhaps, as a spy, Azriel had no time for honour, just a competitive need to win, Nesta mused.

Cassian swore as Azriel tripped him, falling backwards and yet still managing to block the vicious swipe of the shadowsinger's blade. A single manoeuvre later, and Cassian was back on his feet, using his strength to overpower Azriel's swift strikes.

Perhaps it was the warm weather, or more likely the two males before her, which set Nesta's blood on fire. She watched intently, marking every gasp for breath, every flex of muscle, every taunting remark.

Really, who could blame her for relinquishing the fight and allowing the tide of filth to rush into her thoughts.

Her mind conjured up images that had her flushing, muscles low in her stomach clenching at what she imagined.

She was pressed up against the dining table, Azriel behind her as he ground himself slowly against her ass, causing the wood to bite into the top of her thighs. Her breath hitched as the Shadowsinger's mutilated hands drew torturous lines up the inside of her thighs, branding her even through the fabric of her trousers, inching steadily towards the place where she needed him most.

Rough hands grasped her chin, strong yet tender as her attention was drawn to Cassian leaning against the table beside her. Hunger had darkened his eyes as he watched Nesta squirm, such blazing ferocity filling his gaze. She breathed out another moan as Azriel's hands brushed her, so tantalisingly close to her core, and Cassian stilled, the noise activating some predatory instinct inside him. Nesta's half lidded gaze traveled slowly down his body, her eyes eventually coming to rest on the bulge straining at his pants, evidence of how turned on he was seeing her writhe against his friend. Another wave of heat coursed through Nesta's blood as an unquenchable desire to touch him, taste him, feel him, overrode any sense of rational thought that had clung on through the torturous touches of the male behind her.

'Cassian.'

His name was a barely audible plea on her tongue, but he heard it.

He always heard her.

It took single moment for her to be sandwiched between the two males, held upright by Azriel at her back and Cassian before her, looking so godsdamned beautiful she thought her knees would buckle. She turned her face up towards Cassian, a silent demand for more even as she writhed against the impressive length of Azriel pressing into her from the back.

His lips met hers with such ferocity she thought she would be undone then and there. He tasted like heavenly fire, branding her tongue with his own, and she threaded her hands through his silken hair, tugging sharply to elicit a guttural groan. Just as she thought the assault to her senses would overwhelm her, she felt Azriel's hand begin to roam over her body, his mouth coming to rest at the soft point between her neck and collarbone as he continued his languid strokes, teasing her as Cassian's mouth moved to-

"You alright there Nes?"

The voice brought her snapping back to reality, no heat lacing it as it had in her daydreams, just barely restrained amusement.

Nesta's clothes felt too tight, and her skin was too hot.

She noticed the the two males had stopped their sparring, and were both looking at her, different expressions gracing their features. Azriel's beautiful face was painted with slight confusion, but also subtle amusement as his eyes flicked between Nesta and Cassian. Shadows curled against his ear, whispering their secrets as he sniffed the air delicately. His gaze remained on Nesta, head cocked slightly with knowing.

Cassian's face, the bastard, was blazing with wicked delight, lips twisted into a knowing smirk as he surveyed Nesta's flushed face.

"What were you thinking about over there?"

If she had thought the prick couldn't smile any wider, she was wrong. Cassian's amusement just seemed to double as Nesta hissed at him, eyes full of ire.

"Mind your own fucking business."

Cauldron damn her, his laugh grated at her nerves. Embarrassment at being caught filled her with irritation and the sticky heat wasn't helping. Not to mention Cassian looked like there was no way in all of hell's fiery pits he was going to let her get away with being caught with her mind in such a filthy place.

Nesta mentally shook herself, and levelled as much disdain as she could muster into the gaze she sent toward the Illyrian prick in front of her. They remained trapped in some kind of dominance battle, a stupid staring contest of all things, as neither of them were willing to back down from the challenge.

It was only the subtle clearing of a throat that had Cassian breaking eye contact. A triumphant smile twisted Nesta's lips, even as she too turned her attention towards the source of the sound.

Azriel was at the edge of the ring, sheathing his sword as he collected his discarded shirt. Nesta couldn't help but admire the leaner curve of his body, the taught, sweaty muscles that contained so much violent killing power. He truly was beautiful, the ice to Cassian's fire, and there was no way she was going to pass up the opportunity to study the reclusive spymaster. His mysterious and quiet demeanour had always intrigued Nesta, and if it wasn't for the still smirking brute standing a few feet away from her, she would have readily taken the cold faced male to bed.

Not to mention she often wondered what exactly those shadows of his could do.

Azriel cleared his throat again, and his words rang out clearly, despite the softness with which he spoke. His voice reminded Nesta of cold satin sheets and the darkness that masked the sins of the night. He really did have a bedroom voice, one that spoke of candlelight and shadows, which was awfully unfair to Nesta considering she needed to focus.

"If you two don't mind, I have other matters to attend to. Thank you for the training. I may see you at dinner, though I haven't yet decided if I will be present."

He was always so unfailingly polite. He smiled slightly at Nesta, before levelling a look at his friend that Nesta had no hope of deciphering. Cassian seemed to understand it well enough though, because he let out a disgruntled snort and waved Azriel away, dismissing him. The Shadowsinger just cooly raised a dark eyebrow, amusement dancing in his eyes at Cassian's display of petulance. The expression was almost enough for Nesta to again indulge in her fantasies as Azriel left, moving with the silence of a wraith.

But, before she could let her mind wander, Cassian was drawling at her.

"Just you and me now Nes. Now that the lovely Azriel has left us, would you care to share what, exactly, graced your thoughts as you practically drooled over us earlier?"

Nesta ignored him. His taunting washed over her and was shoved to the back of her head as she grounded herself in the mindset she adopted when training.

She raised her fists, subconsciously correcting their position as she had been taught, and threw the first punch at the waiting pads that Cassian held. He was still smirking.

Like hell was she going to give him the satisfaction of admitting to her filthy thoughts.

Nesta still ached as she slumped down into the chair at the head of the table, and she almost groaned with pleasure as a hot meal of meats, potatoes and vegetables, all slathered in gravy, appeared in front of her, accompanied with a thick slice of rich chocolate fudge cake. She had cleaned up after work in the library, her shirt covered in dust and ancient mothballs. Lugging around a heavy book cart for six hours had left her bone tired, ready to fall into bed after a quick meal in her rooms, but the House had forced her to come to the dining table instead.

She couldn't really complain though as she started on the delicious plate of food in front of her.

"Thank you," she muttered to the ceiling, swallowing her first bite and quickly moving on to her second.

A night soft chuckle stroked at her ears, and Nesta lifted her head to determine its source, her fork forgotten halfway to her mouth.

Azriel was seated halfway down the table, a stack of papers surrounding him and a plate of untouched food balanced atop a heavy book. A single scarred finger was tracing the black loops of ink marking the paper in front of him, which he had returned to reading. He seemed to sense Nesta's attention though, or perhaps the shadow curled around his ear told him, as he left his reading and raised his head to meet her gaze.

Curiosity filled his hazel eyes, and though he smiled at her, his features remained as cold as the silver fire she sometimes felt prowling underneath her skin.

Nesta just angled her head, her stare challenging him to ask whatever was piquing his interest.

At her blatant challenge, she won a chuckle from the mouth of the Shadowsinger. A subtle delight coiled itself around her stomach at the feat. She doubted many people made the male she shared the table with laugh very often.

"Do you often talk to nothing, Nesta Archeron?"

Her face flushed as she realised he had witnessed her gratitude towards the house, but she held her chin higher at the amusement within the question.

"I was talking to the House. Do you not talk to it? I'm certain it is sentient, though I have no idea how."

Azriel gazed up at the ceiling just as Nesta had moments before, eyes scanning as if searching for some kind of proof of the House's sentience. Nesta blatantly took the time to admire the sharp edge of his jawline and the strong column of his throat. She quickly dropped her gaze back to her food as he turned his attention back to her.

"I've never heard of the House being... aware of what goes on inside it. I fear I may have possibly-"

He cleared his throat, a bashful look on his face. It was the most human expression Nesta had ever seen him wear.

"Possibly insulted the House with the, uh, things I have done here."

She grinned at the admission, delighted at the embarrassment that Azriel wore, but also his easiness around her to admit such a thing.

"Well, Shadowsinger, I'm sure the House doesn't mind that much. After all, I have discovered that it has a penchant for particularly smutty novels."

He laughed out loud at that, a full baritone sound that rang sonorously through the air.

"I'm sure if I have offended it, it is much more upset with Cassian. You should hear about the things that he has done in all the places of this House."

Nesta didn't miss the wicked glint in Azriel's eyes. She found herself grinning with barely contained delight.

"What things have I done in this House, brother?"

Cassian's amused voice sent an unwelcome flush of heat through her body, which Nesta quickly clamped down on. He pulled out the chair beside her, a plate of food also appearing in front of him.

"What's Azriel been filling your head with Nes? Has he been soiling my honourable reputation?"

"You mean your reputation as a rogue and a harlot?" She said sweetly.

Cassian grabbed his chest with mock horror, a hand going to his mouth.

"You wound me with your cruel words my fine lady. How dare you insinuate such atrocities."

Despite everything, Nesta found herself smiling. Perhaps it was the mirrored amusement on Azriel's face, or the dramatic hand gestures that Cassian was using, but she was unable to stop the wide grin from splitting her face in two.

"You look beautiful when you smile Nes."

Cassian was looking at her with something close to awe, and an uncomfortable feeling coiled in her gut. It was enough for her to adopt her familiar scowl and roll her eyes at him.

"And you look like an overgrown bat who can't help but drool at the slightest bit of warmth from a female."

Azriel laughed loudly, but quickly muffled it with a hand when Cassian glared at him.

"I don't think you're one to talk about drooling Nes. It was only this morning when I caught you staring at Az and I whilst we sparred."

He snickered.

"And by the clear change in your scent, I think it was pretty obvious where your mind went."

He tapped her head.

"Too much smut. It rots the brain."

Nesta's nostrils flared at the amusement in Cassian's voice. All signs of her previous grin had been utterly wiped away, and only the scowl remained. She was still getting used to the primal behaviours of the Fae, and had forgotten that the males in her company would be able to scent when her mind took a filthy turn.

"Care to share with us where your thoughts went to earlier, Nes?."

And because he had well and truly pissed her off, because of his previous comment about her reading habits, because she knew it would get a reaction out of him, because she damn well could, Nesta answered him.

"I was thinking about getting fucked by Azriel."

From down the table, the Shadowsinger choked on his wine, alarm and something else gracing his features.

She smirked at Cassian, but it faded as she took in his heated expression. The fire in his eyes, the lazy smile on his lips.

"You want to get fucked by Azriel, Nes? Have you thought about him, late at night, imagined his fingers in place of your own as you bring yourself to the edge?"

Nesta glanced again towards Azriel, worried about how he would react to Cassian's insinuations. But the Spymaster of the Night Court just looked curious. As if he too wondered about the answer to the question Cassian had posed.

Fuck. She was well and truly fucked.

Her breath felt heavy in her lungs, not quite leaving as smoothly as it normally did. Nesta flicked her gaze back to Cassian's burning eyes and felt her breath hitch again.

He noticed that.

He always noticed.

So softly, barely restrained fire lacing his tone, he asked her again, "What were you actually thinking about earlier?"

Nesta's control slipped, and she yielded an inch.

"I was thinking about having the both of you in my bed. What it would feel like to be worshipped by two males like you."

The heat in the room was palpable and a musty scent forced its way into Nesta's nostrils. Evidence of Cassian's arousal. He had leaned in, and Nesta had blindly echoed the movement, so that their noses were almost touching.

His voice was guttural. "That is awfully greedy of you Nes. Wanting us both at the same time. And I'm not often inclined to share."

"I don't think I should be allowing this."

Azriel and his silken bedroom voice could go fuck himself. Or better, fuck her. He hadn't cared much for his chaperone duties before this moment, and she wasn't about to let him get in the way now.

"You're a shit chaperone anyway Az, let us have our fun."

It appeared Cassian echoed her sentiment.

But Azriel just cocked his head, nostrils flaring delicately as he scented the arousal coming off of both Nesta and Cassian. It was then that Nesta noticed the spark of desire in his gaze. Something born of curiosity, something that she very much wanted him to act on, knowing that he likely had too much self restraint to do so without proper... encouragement.

She turned back to Cassian, and he had already read the meaning in her gaze.

"You two enjoy yourselves."

Azriel was halfway to the door before he was stopped by Nesta's gasp.

Cassian had pulled her into his lap, and she was already writhing against him, needing the friction between them as her need threatened to overtake her.

"You could enjoy yourself with us."

An invitation. She'd barely been able to speak the words as Cassian had suckled onto the sensitive spot under her ear, but she spoke them.

Azriel stalked towards her, feet silent and shadows writhing in time with her movements against Cassian.

His face was inches from hers in an instant, his warm breath mingling with her own gasps as she scanned his gaze.

"I don't think you could handle the both of us, Nesta Archeron."

And cauldron damn him and his silken voice, increasing her arousal as she held his gaze. Beheld the challenge there. And because she was so overcome with want, because she was Nesta Archeron, who never backed down from a challenge, she snaked her hand out and palmed his crotch, the whispered words already on her lips.

"Try me."

At her words, something shifted, an understanding passing between the two males as she was hauled out of Cassian's lap. She moaned in frustration at the lack of friction before immediately renewing her writhing as she was deposited into Azriel's lap, the male having sat himself in a seat. Her back was pressed flush against his chest, and she could feel the enormous length of him harden as she writhed, a hiss escaping harshly from the gap between his lips and tickling the base of her neck.

FuckFuckFuckFuck.

Nesta moaned again as Azriel's hands began to explore her body, palming her breasts and dipping beneath the waistline of her pants, before moving on and leaving her well and truly frustrated. Eventually, after he had deemed his exploration complete, Azriel relented to her breathy pleas and plunged his hand into her pants, his fingers going right where she wanted him. His other hand held her hip in an almost possessive way, pushing her down against his hardness.

The first stroke set her on fire, but the second had her almost losing her mind. He plunged two long fingers into her without warning, filling her in a way she didn't think was possible.

How the fuck am I going to be able to take him.

She threw her head back as she continued fucking herself down on his hand, moans readily flying from her parted lips.

She found herself eye level with Cassian's crotch. With the very hard bulge that strained towards her, begging to be released from his pants. Realisation hit her, and she moaned as the need for more coursed through her body. She moaned again as Cassian removed his cock, the head flushed and pre-cum dribbling down his tip.

"Time to put that snarky mouth of yours to better use, Nes."

Her tongue darted out, and she licked away the liquid that had pooled at his tip, savouring the salty taste and the flash of pleasure that tightened his features.

Gods, she could watch his face for hours.

She leaned forward again hungrily, already eager to take him, when a cool sensation wrapped itself around her neck, squeezing like a hand.

"Not so fast, Nesta."

She looked down at the hand in her pants, the hand cupping her breast, and realised with a rush that it was in fact, not Azriel's hand that wrapped around her neck, choking her gently to fuel her pleasure. It was in fact one of his shadows, solidified enough to feel like more than a cold brush of wind. She moaned at the sensation as it squeezed again.

So that's what else his shadows can do.

Azriel renewed his pace, plunging his fingers inside her and sometimes pulling out to circle her clit, and Cassian pushed his cock into her mouth, moaning in pure animalistic pleasure as she sucked him hard. The pace that the two males set was brutal, and Nesta quickly felt her completion coming close. She was aided by the shadow around her neck, that choked her every time she broke eye contact with Cassian, who fucked her mouth like it was made of pure heaven. Whenever she closed her eyes, pleasure overtaking her senses, the shadow would squeeze, forcing her eyes to snap open and again lock with Cassian's.

She was very quickly brought over the edge by the two males, both of them working her into pure bliss. As she clenched around Azriel's scarred fingers, her orgasm ripping through her, she heard Cassian shout, and thick spurts ran down her throat as he finished inside her mouth.

Nesta swallowed everything she was given as if she was a starving man and a delicious meal had been placed in front of her.

She lent back into Azriel, Cassian's cock falling from her mouth, coated in saliva and cum. She was spent already, the aftermath of her orgasm causing her legs to shake.

"Fuck."

Cassian was leant back in the chair he had previously vacated, his face contorted in pure pleasure. Nesta made to stand up, but strong hands held her down, Azriel's lips brushing the shell of her ear.

"Where would you like me, Nesta?"

Her need immediately made itself known again, despite the wave of pleasure that had already ravaged her senses.

"Do you think your throat can handle another cock so soon?"

Nesta moaned in answer, words still failing her, but hoping that the shadowsinger understood what she meant.

He lifted her onto the table and her legs spread of their own accord, eager for more.

But it was Cassian that stepped between her, mouth lowered and already teasing her clit with his hot breath.

"You smell exquisite."

A numbed plea tumbled from Nesta's lips. She needed his mouth, his tongue, in between her folds, on her clit, tearing her apart and building her back up again. Cassian obliged, lowering his mouth to her, but Nesta never actually saw his tongue make its first movement, though she felt the fiery wave of pleasure. Instead, Azriel gripped her jaw, turning her gaze to what awaited her.

Fuck. She knew Cassian was big, but Azriel was truly something to behold. A whiny moan escaped her, borne out of a slight fear that electrified her very bones.

Her mouth opened in another moan as Cassian bit down on her clit, and Azriel took the opportunity to force himself inside her mouth and down her throat. He didn't stop, even as Nesta gagged around him, tears springing from her eyes, he didn't stop until her nose brushed the hair at his base. He pulled out and fucked her mouth again, pulling her hair as he thrusted. Everything came with a slight edge of pain as Cassian continued to work wonders between her legs, Azriel brutally fucking her mouth.

"You look so fucking beautiful with my cock in your mouth and tears streaming down your face."

Gods, Nesta loved this.

Her jaw was aching with the brutal fucking Azriel was inflicting on her, but the last thing she wanted was for him to stop. Her release shattered through her again as Cassian pumped his fingers in time with his tongue, causing Nesta to bite down slightly on Azriel as her eyes rolled back into her head.

He came completely undone, ramming the tip of his cock over and over again against the back of Nesta's throat whilst her hand worked the parts she couldn't fit in her mouth. His groan was almost a snarl as he came, the grip on her hair that he had tightening. Nesta gazed up, her vision blurry with tears, and watched as his head reared back, eyes rolling and pleasure contorting his features. His hair was pushed away from his face, revealing the jawline she had admired earlier clenched tight enough to snap. Sweat was a sheen on his skin, and veins pulsed in his neck as his continued fucking her mouth through his pleasure.

She finished again at the sight, helped by Cassian still touching her oversensitive clit.

The noise of gasping breaths and mumbled curses filled the room as Nesta lay sprawled at the edge of the table, stars still dancing in her vision as she tried to catch her breath again.

Her cunt was aching with the need to be filled. She felt empty, and wanted to indulge in the initial fantasy she had imagined when she first saw them spar. Azriel pounding into her from behind whilst she took Cassian in her mouth, the two of them fucking her at a brutal pace. Her jaw ached, but she was already in need of Cassian, in need of the addictive taste of him filling her senses.

"She looks like such a fucking slut, sprawled out on the table with cum leaking from her mouth."

Nesta moaned unintentionally, Azriel's utterly filthy words having an obvious effect on her.

"I want you both to fuck me. At the same time."

She had their attention now. Two pairs of lust addled hazel eyes stared intently down at her, dark with desire.

"Can you take us both, Nes?"

She nodded quickly, Cassian's question leaving no room for doubt in her mind. Gods, she wanted them so badly. More than anything she'd ever wanted before.

Cassian's eyes flashed with approval.

"That's my good girl."

She was sat up fully on the edge of the table now. Staring at the two exquisite males before her, cocks hard and glistening, she wanted nothing more than for them to make her scream. Loud enough for all of Velaris to hear. Loud enough to shake the mountains.

She voiced those very thoughts, and was rewarded with wicked grins, feral with purely male delight.

Cassian lifted her down gently, hands roaming, and then cupped her face.

"You're doing so well Nes. Do you think you can go a few more rounds?"

Nesta nodded again, but a brief thought flashed through her head, even as the press of Azriel at her back erased any rational sense.

"Can we go somewhere a little more comfortable? I'm fairly certain there are splinters in my ass from the fucking table."

Cassian grinned.

Shadow travel was decidedly not something Nesta enjoyed. However the unpleasant sensation was quickly forgotten as she assessed where Azriel had taken the three of them. Her chambers were warm, and the bed seemed very inviting. Perhaps made even more inviting by the hastily clothed males on either side of where she stood, still hard and ready to fuck her.

However, despite the feral need that sang through her very blood, Nesta wanted to make the males wait. She wanted to maintain some illusion of control before it was shattered by them fucking her out of her mind.

She stepped towards the bed, ignoring them completely as she peeled off her clothes. Slowly, so godsdamned slowly, she removed her shirt, enjoying the attention as both of their gazes zeroed in on her bare back. She had yet to take off her shirt, having kept it mostly on in the dining room, and she knew exactly where the attentive stares of Cassian and Azriel would land when she turned around.

Nesta was right, of course. Both gazed hungrily at her breasts, hot lust branding their features as she cocked her head to the side after turning around. The curtain of her unbound golden brown hair slid over her shoulders, sensually shifting like the touch of a lover. She marked the intent with which they tracked each movement, each breath, that she made. Nesta almost couldn't believe it. Before her stood two of the deadliest Illyrians in history, shirtless and hard as fuck, pants mostly unbuttoned and eyes filled with such roaring lust as they looked at her. Their control was close to slipping. She could tell by the way they stood, still as carved statues, only their eyes tracking her breathing. They were barely restraining themselves, yet the self control still lingered.

That wouldn't do at all. Nesta wanted them completely undone, as they had been minutes before in the dining room.

She met their stares, smirking.

"Time to play."

Azriel was on her in an instant, pushing her onto the bed and settling his weight above her. Cassian moved slower, coming to a stop around the other side of the bed, cock already out as he pumped himself slowly. Nesta wanted him in her mouth again, and as she met his eyes, her own control slipped.

"Please." A breathy, barely audible request, but he heard it. He smiled at her plea.

"Are you really begging for our cocks, Nes? I recall you swearing that you never begged, and yet here you are on your hands and knees, completely naked and utterly at our mercy. I don't think I've ever seen a prettier sight."

"You talk too much. I'd rather hear a different set of sounds come out of your mouth."

He grinned again, and without breaking eye contact, he pushed himself between her parted lips. Pleasure contorted his features as he bit back a curse, his hand already tightening in her hair.

It was at that moment that Azriel pushed himself into Nesta from behind, and she moaned loudly around Cassian's cock.

Azriel grunted as he pushed himself deeper, barely giving Nesta time to adjust as he forced himself to the hilt. A string of filthy curses left his mouth, and Nesta felt his hands tighten at her hips as he settled inside her.

Gods, she was so full. This was the sensation she had been craving for a while now, and she clenched around Azriel as her arousal overtook everything she knew. He swore, low and soft at her tightness, and pulled out almost to the tip.

"How do you like it?"

Nesta knew what she wanted, but was conveniently unable to answer due to her mouth already being occupied. Luckily, Cassian answered for her, tipping her face upwards as his thrusts became deeper.

"She likes it hard. Hard enough to hurt."

"Then she'll get it hard."

Azriel slammed back into her aching core before the words had fully left his mouth, and Nesta's vision shattered. She screamed around Cassian as pure waves of pleasure overtook her, but the sound was quickly cut off into a choking, spluttering noise as Cassian matched his friend's pace from the front.

As the two males fucked her hard enough to see stars, Nesta gave in to the pleasure. This was what it felt like to be worshipped by two of the greatest males in Prythian's history. This is what it felt like to be fucked senseless.

Cauldron damn her, she loved every second of it.

She loved the feeling of Azriel pounding into her from behind, curses echoing as he indulged in her dripping cunt. She loved the pleasure that tightened Cassian's face as her moans sent vibrations running up his cock, causing him to throw his head back and roar.

Most of all she loved how utterly filthy the scene must have looked.

Her release built inside of her, a shimmering wave of leg shaking pleasure that coiled up the base of her spine. Every sensation threatened to be her undoing, and her whole body felt like it was on fire.

As Cassian yanked her hair back to reach the back of her throat, Azriel dipped a hand between her legs and aggressively attacked her clit. Nesta screamed as she came, pure bliss coating every layer of the sound.

Cassian was quick to follow, his thrusts becoming short and sloppy as he emptied himself into her mouth, roaring in pleasure. The clench of her inner muscles as her orgasm shattered through her also drew a barked curse from Azriel, and she felt the thick ropes of his cum coating her insides. The duo continued to fuck her through their respective releases, riding out the waves of pleasure and drawing out their orgasms for as long as possible. Distantly, she felt them pull out, letting her slump against the bedsheets.

Nesta's vision was white and shattered, and her hearing had completely disappeared, leaving only a loud ringing in her ears.

Eventually, she came back into her own body, and noted the sensations that continued to assault her senses. Azriel's cum had poured out of her and coated the inside of her thighs, the sticky sensation far from unpleasant. She had mostly swallowed Cassian's, but a little had dribbled out the corner of her mouth, which she ran two fingers through before licking the remnants clean. Her head was spinning and her legs still shook with the aftermath of the intense pleasure that had been bestowed on her.

As the pleasure began to fade at the edges, the ache in her jaw, in her throat and in-between her legs became more apparent. She groaned and rolled onto her back, flinging an arm across her face as her chest still rose and fell rapidly, her pulse hammering away.

A throat cleared, and Azriel spoke, his voice hoarse from excessive moaning.

"I may see you two at training tomorrow. Goodnight. Oh, and Nesta? Thanks for the fuck."

He left without another word, having pulled his trousers on during Nesta's attempt to piece herself back together in the aftermath.

Cassian still lingered in her doorway.

"Not one for many words, that one."

His lips quirked up at her comment.

"Az has never been one to speak unless it is utterly necessary. He also has a habit of leaving before he has to deal with the consequences of his actions."

The fond smile on Cassian's face had Nesta's heart stuttering in her chest. She almost, almost caved to her traitorous thoughts and begged him to stay, if only for a short while. He looked so lost, a mix of pained hope and distant longing swirling in his eyes. Her mind begged her to request he remain, begged her to do something to wipe that haunted look off of his beautiful face.

But her stubborn mouth refused to open, refused to yield to her tender thoughts. Cassian seemed to sense the conflict within her, but at her silence he turned away.

"Goodnight Nes."

Her heart clenched painfully at the weariness in his voice. She stared at his figure as he walked away, leaving her to sort through the soupy mess that was her mind.

Nesta lay awake for most of the night, unable to sleep, her whole being still reeling from the utter pleasure that she had felt. Her body remained tightly wound, even as she tried and failed to relax, and her mind didn't fare much better. A bitter shadow hung over her thoughts and chased her into a dreamless sleep, the feeling one she recognised as regret. Regret and something else, as she replayed the final conversation with Cassian over and over again in her head.

Cassian, who hadn't bothered to look back as he left.

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fen-luciel · 11 months ago

Text

Jealousy part 1

Part 2 here

Warnings: age gap/toxic behavior

Vernestra-Padawan reader/jedi Qimir

I'll update the tags as the story progresses, there should only be two more parts.

I'm not sure how far I'll go with certain behaviors, so leave a comment and let me know what you think <3

(This first part is to provide context, the other two will set the story in motion)

Becoming a Padawan was a lifelong dream. Of course, I was young, so my view of the world and what I would experience in the coming years was very limited. The idea of being taken under the wing of a more experienced Jedi master, learning many more techniques, the missions, the travels, all the people and aliens I could meet... I was bursting with happiness.

Not that the exercises at the temple weren't stimulating, I was glad to have made friends, to have developed a routine with them, but I was ready for something new.

So, when I was finally introduced to my future master, I was bursting with joy. I recognized her immediately, it was hard not to. Vernestra was an important member of the Order, involved with the Senate, and was known for her numerous successes. It was an honor for me to receive that position by her side.

Over the years, I had been recognized as an excellent future Padawan, with the ability to learn quickly, a strong sense of observation, and a positive and kind character that always accompanied me. I was often praised for the way I presented myself to others. In short, everyone saw a bright future for me, but I had difficulty seeing it myself. I was young and inexperienced and I believed that the important thing was to follow the rules, the rest was just a part of me, something I did naturally.

I imagine that becoming Vernestra’s Padawan was just the confirmation of that golden path everyone saw me on, but I was too caught up in the newness to really think about it.

However, I soon realized that I lost the balance I had created up to that point, I lost some friends, some simply due to distance, others were... cold towards me.

I didn't understand what had changed. I would never have accused anyone of feeling emotions like jealousy or anger towards me, we were children. Missteps were normal, and we were taught that it was right to face them and learn from them.

But if you asked around, many would have described me as someone who never made mistakes, who always responded with a gentle smile, a comforting word, a hand on the shoulder, or even just a pleasant company if you needed to vent. Perhaps that was the problem. I appeared too perfect in the eyes of others.

And yet, the Master didn’t make me feel that way. She taught me everything calmly, I followed her every step, she reprimanded me harshly, but always with care. She soon realized how much I sought validation in everything I did.

It was stronger than me, I believed I was always making a mistake, that I was in the wrong. After all, who was I to say something was right or wrong? I was just a Padawan. A child.

And anyway, it wasn’t the Jedi’s job to give answers, but rather to push people to understand for themselves.

Even though it was a concept I found difficult to grasp myself.

Anyway, that’s how I met Qimir.

He was Vernestra’s former Padawan, now promoted to Jedi Knight and independent in his duties, but he often visited us, either to seek advice from his old Master or just to ask how she was doing. I found him very sweet.

The first time I met him in person, I already knew his name. He had managed to stand out as soon as he started his duties as a Knight. Among the younger ones, there was a sense of reverence towards him even though we had never seen him in person. And besides, it was rumored that he was terribly handsome, not that it particularly interested me at the time.

I remember I was in the library with Vernestra, she had assigned me some basic readings to start my future physical training. Young ones are already taught at an early age to defend themselves and to learn various positions, but it was more about building an understanding of your Force signature, learning to trust your senses. The real training would then be individual for the student once they had a Master, so she had recommended these introductory readings on the various forms of combat and their use.

Those were afternoons I remembered with particular affection. Sitting in silence, she would take a more suitable book or bring her work documents on her datapad, and the hours would pass in an instant. Sometimes, I would glance at her to see what she was doing. She noticed every time, smiled slightly, and gently scolded me, telling me to return to my tasks.

I was happy. I felt cared for, appreciated, but not in the cold manner of a teacher with their student. It was a feeling I didn’t quite know how to place in my heart, and it worried me a bit, but I kept my doubts for another day.

On one of those quiet afternoons, I met Qimir. The room was particularly deserted that day, so the sound of footsteps approaching could be heard clearly along the shelves. Thinking it was the librarian, I didn’t pay much attention and remained with my nose buried in the book. Even when he stopped in front of our table I didn’t pay attention. Then, a deep male voice I didn’t recognize spoke Vernestra’s name.

Curiosity flared up in an instant, and as the two began a light conversation next to me, I slowly raised my gaze, the book almost serving as a shield, my hair partly covering my eyes. In front of us stood a young man in his twenties, dressed in the classic brown Jedi Knight attire, speaking casually to Vernestra. His slightly long, smooth hair, a light smile, and dark eyes framed by a chiseled jaw.

It was the first time I saw him. And the first time my heart beat so fast in my chest.

I didn’t know if it was because he was undeniably a handsome guy. I had never been too interested in that sort of thing, and anyway, it was forbidden for Jedi to have too impure thoughts. It was more... his aura. The amused smile but attentive eyes, the neat but relaxed posture... he seemed to shine with his own light. It was what I felt when I saw a member of the council, when I glimpsed Master Yoda in the corridors, reverence, respect, a bit of fear.

He was captivating, and he seemed to be aware of it.

I didn’t even realize that I had been staring at him longer than I should have. He noticed the insistent gaze on him. I must have looked quite ridiculous, a young girl hiding behind a book while staring at the great Jedi Knight, but the smile he gave me right after almost took my breath away as I blushed, perhaps for the first time in my life.

“And you must be the new Padawan who took my place. Nice to meet you, I’m Qimir” he said, extending a hand, and after casting a nervous glance at Vernestra, who was smiling at me, I hugged the book to my chest with one arm, my palm tingling, unsure whether to return the handshake.

Another inner turmoil came with that first touch. His hands had long, slender fingers, marked by numerous calluses, probably from gripping the lightsaber or the various missions he faced. It was just another reason why I started to admire him. I could see all the dots connecting in this figure that represented everything I wanted to become. A Jedi. A reference point for those in need.

I said my name in a low, timid voice, and he leaned towards me with a slight frown “Such a small voice, are you always like this, or am I making you nervous?” he joked, but I bit my lip, not knowing what to reply, I pulled my hand away, but he didn’t let go. Instead, he began to gently rub my knuckles with his thumb.

“Leave her alone, Qimir. She’s shy, don’t start with your teasing” Vernestra scolded him, at which he let go. I hid my hand under the table, clenching it into a fist, my skin tingling.

“Sorry, sorry. It must be a relief for you to have someone like this after me” she sighed but didn’t deny it either, at which I let out a smile and he, noticing, winked at me.

That was the first time I had dealings with him. But soon I began to see him everywhere. When he wasn’t on a mission, he stayed around the temple, so I encountered him in the corridors, in the halls, in the meditation room, and he always had a kind smile for me.

He made me feel special even though I knew it was a selfish feeling. When I managed to study with other Padawans in the library or practiced in the courtyard, he always stopped by to give me a nod. My friends were jealous, but I wasn’t really offended. Qimir was... kind.

It was like seeing the Force alive and pulsing around him. It was impossible not to look at him, not to wish that he would glance at you even just once.

Everyone wanted to be like him. Charismatic. Confident. Everyone wanted to be his friend.

One of the first missions I did with Master Vernestra was another point of contact. Being young, I wasn’t yet allowed in particularly dangerous scenarios, not to mention that if there was one thing I was lacking in, it was combat. I followed the Master almost everywhere, political life was just as important in a Jedi’s path, and I had to understand the mechanics early on for when I would be older, even though they were often more moments of leisure.

The meetings lasted hours, often discussing places, people, and things I knew nothing about. I tried to stay focused, but it was really difficult, and even Vernestra thought I shouldn’t strain myself too much, so she let me roam around, maybe continue studying, or even just take a little break.

One day, ready to depart, we were loading the luggage onto the ship. We were going to spend a few days on Hoth, and I was incredibly excited since I had never experienced a planet with that kind of climate before. As I was lost in my thoughts, a light knock interrupted me. At the foot of the ramp, Qimir gave me a half-smile "Is there room for me too?" I was still intimidated by his presence since we had never really spoken before. I opened my mouth several times, glancing around awkwardly, not sure if he was teasing me or if I was too stupid to understand what he meant.

"I hope you didn’t bring your usual baggage" Vernestra said behind me, gently placing a hand on my shoulder. I looked at her, confused "Excuse me Master, is Qimir coming with us?" I struggled even to pronounce his name, it felt like an insult to do so, as if I didn’t have enough experience to earn such a privilege.

"What, you don't want me around?" he smiled as he walked up the ramp. I squirmed uncomfortably, realizing the embarrassing situation I had caused "N-no, I didn’t mean that—" He smiled even more, but Vernestra intervened again, scolding him "Give her some space Qimir."

The plan was simple: it was a diplomatic mission, and Qimir had joined us to study for a few days with his former master. I didn’t know exactly what he needed, but he wanted her advice. We left a few minutes later, and I avoided the control room like the plague. I only entered once to ask how much longer it would take, burning alive under Qimir’s gaze, then I shut myself in the bedroom and did my homework.

Hoth was as beautiful as it was freezing. But it was worth it; I had never seen such an immense expanse of white, the ground soft underfoot from the snow, the ice mountains, creatures I had never seen before. Vernestra stopped to talk to some locals, and I approached the enormous door overlooking the ice field. I wondered if the entire planet was like this. Did anyone live in those isolated areas? How could anyone survive in such a harsh climate?

A gloved hand rested on my back, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I turned, expecting to see my master, but under the hood, it was Qimir’s dark eyes that looked at me with a gentle smile on his face.

"Beautiful, isn’t it?" he asked before turning back to look at the white expanse before us. I nodded hesitantly. Nervous about speaking to him, I bit my lip but managed to gather the courage "Do you know... if there’s anyone who lives in these lands?" He looked at me, puzzled, and I quickly corrected myself "I mean... besides the local species. Or aliens accustomed to these temperatures. Do you think others could live in a place like this?" He let out a small amused puff, "Well, we actually know for sure. There are many bandits or pirates hiding in these lands. Mainly to hide something, you know, it’s not worth sending search teams into snowstorms for a single man" he explained.

I made a sound of acknowledgment, but he continued "And if we’re talking about others... I think so. Someone who likes solitude or seeks peace. It seems like a good place not to be found" At that point, I turned toward him "Completely alone? It seems..." sad. But I was afraid to say it out loud, sadness wasn’t one of those emotions a Jedi should typically feel, but it felt natural to feel melancholy at the thought of people wanting to lose themselves in nothingness, to never be found again.

"Sad?" he seemed to read my mind "You see, emotions are very complicated to recognize. What might seem sad to you might mean peace to others. As Jedi, we often take many emotions for granted, but we often forget to give them context" I listened, hanging on his every word.

The conversation seemed... strange in some way. It made sense. Of course it did, he was older than me, had more experience in the field, and knew what he was talking about. I should have just nodded and thanked him for sharing those words.

I ignored the burning sensation I felt and thanked him in a faint voice It felt silly to do so, but it was the least I could do.

He smiled at me and gently took my hand "Let’s go, we need to warm up a bit. Trust me, in two more minutes, you won’t be able to feel the tip of your nose" he joked. I stifled a giggle and let him lead me inside toward the rooms. I didn’t know if it was because we were both wearing gloves or because of the conversation we had just had, but I didn’t feel uncomfortable being held by the hand.

A couple of days later, I was alone in one of the bases scattered across the ice. Vernestra was in a meeting and had forbidden me from attending due to the sensitivity of some of the information that would be exchanged. The problem was that these places weren’t particularly full of people or things to do. Yes, there was a bar area, but after the third cup of hot chocolate, I was afraid of pushing my stomach to the limit, so I stayed at the entrance, my feet in a pile of snow as I doodled or made small, questionable-looking statues.

I was so engrossed in the crooked little house I was shaping out of the ice that I didn’t notice the snowball being thrown in my direction.

I let out a startled yelp when it hit the hood on my head. I spun around just in time to see Qimir burst into laughter "Why did you do that?!" I stood up quickly, brushing the snow off my head.

"You looked so bored, I woke you up, didn’t I?" he chuckled.

I glared at him with a pout while he continued to laugh, so I decided to get revenge.

I bent down to grab a pile of snow, quickly making two balls. I threw the first one, but he easily dodged it.

He turned with an arrogant smile, ready to boast when the second one hit him square in the face.

I burst into laughter. He wiped the snow from his nose, his smile gone before bending down to grab more snow.

I shouted his name, realizing immediately what he was about to do, and started running through the snow with him on my heels. We didn’t even have time to make proper snowballs, we just grabbed the snow in our hands, compacted it as best we could, and threw it at each other in a never-ending war. Sometimes I noticed people giving us amused looks as they arrived or departed from the base, but I didn’t care, I was so happy that, for the first time, I didn’t even care what people thought of me.

An hour later, Vernestra called us back, giving us a confused look. She sighed and sent us to dry off. I felt a bit embarrassed at that moment, and I apologized for the childish behavior, but she smiled at me and assured me there was nothing wrong with what we had done.

In the end I took a full shower someone had left dinner on my bed, considering how long I had been under the hot water. I ate and, putting on one of the heavy local pajamas, decided to step out into the hallway to ask the Master what we would be doing the next day. I knew she wasn’t in bed yet, based on her nightly habits.

I walked down the hallway on the second floor, where the various guest rooms were located, when I noticed that her door was already open.

I approached slowly and immediately recognized Qimir’s voice.

"I’m just saying, if we block the main routes, they’d be forced to come out into the open" With a sense of curiosity, I pressed myself against the wall to peek into the room. The two were looking at an old map spread out on the table.

"I agree, but it would take too many resources, and we don’t know the exact times or routes. It would take a lot of time" she replied wearily. Qimir, standing next to her, bit his lip before flashing one of his smiles, "Or... we could sneak in"

She sighed again "The point is the same. We don’t have the resources—"

"I’ll go in myself. I’ll cut the power right under their noses, and—" She interrupted him with a wave of her hand.

"Do you realize what you’re saying? Sneaking in like a thief, and then what? Even if I let you do it, they could still escape, and..." He circled the desk, positioning himself in front of her, his back to me, so I barely heard what he said "No one said we need them alive—"

A sudden thud made me jump. I pressed my hands to my mouth, paralyzed, afraid they had heard me "No. Stop this nonsense, Qimir."

I don’t know what they said after that, I was too busy slipping back into my room, the conversation I had just overheard spinning in my head.

Sometimes, as a Jedi, you had to make drastic choices, right?

Or at least, it seemed that way.

I tried to forget about it and went to sleep.

#the acolyte #star wars #qimir #qimir x reader #qimir x oc #first person #jealousy #everyone is here for the age g4p #age g4p #manny jacinto #dead dove do not eat

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