#in the week leading up to it i think I'll make a bingo card with my friends tho depending on if we get new stuff

[welcometogrouchland]

Was contemplating whether or not to rewatch the specials before watching and dreaming comes out and then I remembered that the last time I watched thanks to them and for the future was...(checks notes) 20 days ago (KEEP IN MIND I'VE ALREADY SEEN THE SPECIALS AT LEAST 4 OTHER TIMES) I think it's safe to say that. I Do Not Need To Do That

[creepercraftguy]

My Thoughts on JOKER VS GIORNO

Once again, we come back to another Death Battle review, where I share my personal thoughts on what we saw.

Unlike Omni-Man Vs Bardock, while I was excited for that matchup, as someone who is a MASSIVE fan of both these characters and their respective franchises, this one was one that I was really looking forward to, even though I knew the fallout for it, regardless of who wins, is probably gonna keep me off the Death Battle internet community for a week at least.

Before I do or say anything on this matchup, I know this sort of thing goes through one ear and out the other, but can we please be respectful in the chat? It's super lame to start a war and to hate on the DB creators just because their opinion on a matchup isn't the same as yours. Let's just try to be good people, please?

Everything is under the cut as per normal, because I will be spoiling the episode:

In case it wasn't obvious how my previous review ended, this was a matchup that I was very excited for. But on top of my excitement, I was also...kind of scared.

I won't comment on my personal opinion of the JoJo fanbase and the Persona fanbase, but one thing that I cannot forgo talking about is that both sides are...intense.

Which is to say they love their franchises and their characters deeply, so while I, as someone who likes both Joker AND Giorno, and their respective series (though I do have a preference for Persona 5 and Joker) am not looking forward to the fallout that this episode brings, because Death Battle are probably about to make half their fanbase very, very angry.

Well, I mean, what else is new? But this time in particular, even more than Omni-Man and Bardock could have.

The analysis portions were actually very good. They touched on a lot of stuff, some of which I even forgot about, but I do have two pretty big qualms with them.

First of all, for Joker's segment especially, though Giorno's suffers from a similar problem, I'm pretty sure I could have made a bingo card of obvious jokes they could make about the Persona series and Joker and the Phantom Thieves, and...yeah, I would have definitely gotten a bingo.

Akechi's pancakes, Mara, the fact that you can date your teacher in the game and that Joker likes older women (although admittedly when I saw that in his intro card, it did make me chuckle), and the idea of never hanging out with your friends again once you max them out are all very commonly appearing jokes in the Persona fanbase, and Death Battle would not have missed an opportunity to mention pretty much all of them.

And then Giorno as well, though not as common, does have the drinking piss joke and the like. Although, I will admit, I think Boomsticks point about Jesus being a JoJo was done in a way that was pretty funny.

My other big issue with the analysis, and this carries on in the post analysis, is showing that Golden Experience Requiem could counter Pucci's stand, and then later, be negated by The World Over Heaven. Feats that come from video games that aren't exactly canon.

In the end, I don't think it really matters that much, because the points they made still stand, but can we maybe get a fact check on whether or not we can use these abilities? Because I'm pretty sure you'd have to take into account the feats of other JoJo's in past matchups, specifically Jotaro, who has the same ability by the end of that game.

Maybe Eyes of Heaven didn't come out when Jotaro Vs Kenshiro did, so I guess I'll give it a pass? Either way, it bothers me, and I really don't know why, because it doesn't amount to much; just that it's used to explain a point they were trying to make.

Other than that, pretty well-stylized analysis portions, and I don't have any complaints. They did well to sell the characters, and honestly? Up until I saw them, I was pretty ready for Jokers loss. Leading up to the fight, I started to change my tune. And after them, I changed sides completely and went back to supporting my boy.

I do somewhat feel guilty for how it ended though. Speaking of which, the fight.

I'm gonna be honest, the fight was cool, but it wasn't perfect. The teaser that was shown on the DB cast looked fire as fuck, but then when the actual fight started, it didn't live up to what it was selling.

Which is not to say that the fight didn't fuck, because it did. The sprites of the characters, Giorno especially, are just a little clunky, static, and very obviously a sprite puppet rig, that's all.

It also felt...a little fast paced? It's weird because the buildup to GE:R and Satanael was well-handled and cool, but for most of the fight, it just feels like the abilities are being thrown around rapid fast, and there's not much time to soak all of it in.

Also, I'm pretty sure Die For Me is an instant kill move, so maybe they should have saved that for when Requiem came out. Just my opinion though. I mean, Die For Me isn't 100% accurate, and doesn't work on bosses, so hell, maybe Giorno either dodged it, or is a boss.

I mean, he IS a boss, but...Well, whatever.

But again, my overall issue is that despite the similar framing, the animation budget just...hasn't quite hit yet. Maybe that's the price of being independent, but I'm REALLY holding out for Moro next week to absolutely smash the next match.

And again, this fight was NOT POORLY animated. Just that there have been sprite fights that were WAY better. Like Dio Vs Alucard for instance.

Speaking of which, this fight is actually pretty similar to that fight in that the penultimate winner of the fight spends...quite a lot of the match just getting bodied by their opponent until they're successfully able to turn it around. Dio did it against Alucard, and Joker did the same to his son in the end.

One more point I want to make on the fight itself is the voice acting. Kieren Regan, who voiced Giorno, is someone who I'm actually familiar with. He's the voice of Shikanoin Heizou in Genshin Impact, and this is his first time working with Death Battle. Honestly? His voice for Giorno is pretty good, even if his tone is a little more whispery than Phillip Reich's rendition of the character.

But OH MY FUCKING GOD, I swear, during the build up to this episode, I seriously thought that Xander Mobus himself was the one doing the voice of Joker! He's actually voiced by Kevin Rivera (Who most would know from the dub of Undead Unluck) who previously voiced Alex Mercer and Dimitri in the last season, but my lord, his impression is SPOT ON! 10/10, no notes!

If I had to give an overall highlight of the fight, well...It'd probably have to be the beginning portion of it that was shown in the cast. The intro to this fight was solid as hell, and if I had to pick another moment in the fight that I was pretty pumped about, it was the sequence when Giorno uses his ability to turn Joker's grapple shot into a snake, and then Joker shoots the snake which reflects the damage back on him. Then the bullets that Giorno turned into bees earlier returned to Joker, destroyed his gun, which gave passage to the ultimate climax of the fight.

That portion was pretty sick.

And then the way the fight ends, while stunning, I do kind of wish it had been more climactic than a single bullet, but...then again, a single bullet put down Jaldabaoth, so there's no need to oversell that, and neither Joker, nor Giorno, are really known for anime screaming or fighting tooth and nail (well, Giorno is sort of) so I can't exactly claim it to be out of character to end this way.

And as for my last note, I think I'm gonna have to give the fight track by Therewolf and Brandon Yates a listen on it's own when it drops, because it's hard to analyse the lyrics and tune while the fight is going on, because it very rapidly changes with each side's sporadic moves.

BUT the vocals in the track are done by Saoirse, the same person who did the vocals for Phantom's Game, the track that Brandon Yates made for a Joker Vs Neku commission he did, and...yeah, that's brilliant, because I loved the vocals of that song, and she's a brilliant singer on the same level as Lyn Inaizumi for these tracks, so yeah.

Final score for me? I give it an 8.5 out of 10. Not perfect, and not quite a 9, but definitely close.

Next week is Eggman Vs Bowser, as I suspected it would be, so let's get pumped for this match, because it's been a long time coming.

[bulkyphrase]

I had every intention of updating my @ficreadingchallenge bingo card every week, but wow I definitely did not do that.

Here's the results of my June and July reading! Maybe I'll do this again next Thursday, or maybe you'll see it again sometime in September.

Details below the cut!

For square 3: vampire AU

Oh Negative by Ladyladylady (@ladyladylady1) (Winterhawk, Mature, 17,663 words)

Summary: “Well alright then. In case it wasn’t clear, everyone is welcome here, vampires included. Anyone who has a problem with that can kindly find a new bar to haunt.” Sam emphasizes his words by pointing the end of his bat around the room, making sure to stop at Brock’s old table. No one speaks up for a beat. Then they hear a throat clear. Clint and Sam snap their heads behind them to the door they’re still blocking. On the steps leading up is a shorter man, but he and Sam are pretty tall, so that’s nothing new. More noteworthy is his chiseled jaw, his tangle of dark, shoulder-length hair, his metal arm, and the fact that he is, unmistakably, a vampire.

there are a lot of things that go wrong for clint in this true blood fusion but he does get a sexy vampire boyfriend in the end

For square 4: fluff

Blossoms Every Day by fluffernutter8 (@theawkwardterrier) (Steggy, General Audiences, 1,961 words)

Summary: When you work at a flower shop requests for elaborate bouquets are just part of the job. Requests for bouquets this specific, on the other hand...

peggy and steve communicate via the language of flowers...sort of. very cute, and love the outsider pov

For square 5: fic written by someone who follows you

Treading Desire Lines by @fohatic (Stony, Teen And Up Audiences, 43,747 words)

Summary: Tony knows that his daughter can be difficult, but he really needs someone to do him a solid when an important opportunity arises. Unfortunately, word is already out: Morgan Stark is a real handful. Never one to shrink from a challenge, Steve steps in, hoping to shift the strained dynamic between him and Tony and having no idea how the course of his life is about to change.

i'm a little cautious with kidfic and endgame fix-its, but this one really won me over!

For square 6: enemies to friends/lovers

a falling star can't fall forever by Mizzy (@mizzy2k) (James "Bucky" Barnes/Natasha Romanov, Teen And Up Audiences, 30,329 words)

Summary: Corporate espionage is a dirty job, but someone has to do it. When a recent job goes awry thanks to the Black Widow, Bucky’s team are demoted to babysitting duty: Howard Stark’s spoiled brat is studying in Cambridge and is completely naive to the dangers of the world. The mission isn’t the complete bust he’s expecting: while off-duty, he meets Natasha and it’s love at first sight. If only that damn irritating Black Widow wasn’t also around, determined to ruin his latest attempt to get a life outside of the spying game. Frustrated by her recent demotion thanks to the Winter Soldier and his irritating team, the last thing Natasha expects is to meet the charming Mr. Barnes. Being reassigned to Europe to assist on a honey-pot mission should be frustrating, but with an unexpected new love on the horizon, Natasha thinks this assignment might not be as bad as she’s expecting. Except then it turns out the Winter Soldier is also in Europe, and he seems determined to completely ruin her life… (An International Iron Man meets Mr. and Mrs. Smith AU.)

i 💕 rom-com, identity porn, and spy shenanigans

For square 10: fan art

Muzzled and Bound [!Art] by @darthbloodorange (Stony, Teen And Up Audiences, words)

Summary: Greg doesn't approve of his brother dating that mutt, Rogers, so he captures the man to teach Tony a lesson.

i want to read the (nonexistent) fic so bad, but will console myself with this lovely art

For square 11: daring rescue

Die Hard (But Only If No Other Options Are Readily Available) by @jenthesweetie (Stony, Teen And Up Audiences, 23,915 words)

Summary: Tony hadn’t written off the Avengers when he ended up on the Raft. What he absolutely hadn’t expected was for them to show up to break him out.

this exciting post-age of ultron stony reconciliation fic features two daring rescues and several narrow escapes

For square 12: 5 + 1 style fic

Interruptions by mariana_oconnor (@mariana-oconnor) (Winterhawk, Teen And Up Audiences, 8,307 words)

Summary: Five times Bucky tries to tell Clint how he feels and one time Clint succeeds.

poor bucky (and clint) have the worst luck in this fic, but at least they figure it out in the end

For square 13: unfinished/work in progress (this was a WIP when I first added it to the bingo card, but it's complete now)

Factory Regress by SucculentHyena (@succulent-hyena) (Stucky, Teen And Up Audiences, 54,054 words)

Summary: A crashed ship, a mysterious device, and some unfortunate circumstances.

a very fun fic featuring age regression, magical space adventures, and protective husband bucky

For square 14: multiple authors

Never Surrender, Never Give Up by Loran_Arameri, Serinah (@loraneldin, @serinah80) (Stony, Explicit, 85,896 words)

Summary: It’s 2029 and aliens have taken the Earth. Steve is dead, and everyone who’s left of the Avengers is fighting for the last few thousand humans. They don’t have much time, or rather the energy: the last of the arc reactors will fail in less than a month, and Tony can’t make another one. Their base will fall.The Earth’s best defender is out of options. *** Years they fought against the Chitauri, and they have lost. Steve is sure that Tony would agree: only traveling back in time could save them now. But Steve wasn't sure if he should, and now he's out of time so he takes one last, desperate gamble. When will he end up?

beautifully angsty fic featuring the end of the world, time travel, double identity porn, and some very hot dom tony/sub steve

For square 15: crossover or fusion fic

Early American X-Ray Specs by aetataureate (@psychicrhubarb) (Steggy, Teen And Up Audiences, 23,183 words)

Summary: “I’m going to steal the Declaration of Independence,” Steve said.

this hilarious fic is everything a steggy + national treasure fusion should be

For square 17: reread an old fave

If Through a Door by @jibrailis (Stony, Explicit, 44,036 words)

Summary: Tony is accused of murder on an alien planet; Steve marries him to bring him home.

this canon universe marriage of convenience story with a side of alien murder mystery is one of the first stony fics i ever read

For square 18: 5+ year old fic

Sea Stars by Muccamukk (Stony, Teen And Up Audiences, 41,960 words)

Summary: Steve comes back to life somewhere entirely unexpected; Tony doesn't remember being a hero; something is rotten in the province of British Columbia, and the 2010 Olympics are doomed.

post-(comics) civil war fic where a magical resurrection meets tech-based amnesia

For square 19: mythical creature AU

Nights When the Wolves Are Silent, and Only the Moon Howls by Cluegirl, Defiler_Wyrm (art by @defilerwyrm) (Stony & Stucky, Mature, 77,612 words)

Summary: “Could you drop all that stoic shit and be my freaking-the-hell-out wingman for just like, five seconds here?” Steve wasn’t sure he could think of anything he wanted less to do than to freak out about his wounds just then though, so he reached across his chest and gingerly patted Sam’s clenched knuckles. “It’ll be fine,” he promised, believing it. “Serum’s handled worse.” “You know, I actually believe you,” Sam allowed after a long second of glaring. “Which is deeply alarming, considering how much of your connective tissue I’ve touched in the last 4 hours. Now you wanna tell me what Russoff’s men did to you that made it look like you got mauled by a bear?” Steve flinched, then breathed the memory down to size. “Not a bear,” he murmured. “Wolves.”

💖 werewolf (mcu) civil war fix-it my beloved 💖

For square 24: BIPOC main character

Fill Her (With Words of Hope For Her People) by sweetheart35 (@billyhargrovetrash) (Gen, Not Rated, 6,236 words)

Summary: Okoye delivers the news. Shuri had watched the two guards who had been assigned to guard her and the android disintegrate into dust in front of her. She had watched, frozen, as one had sighed before closing his eyes and the other turn to her and say “Princess -“ and take a step towards her before he simply collapsed, dust scattered across the floor. Shuri is a genius, the head of Wakanda’s research and development division and their outreach program but she cannot fathom what is happening.

an absolutely beautiful story about shuri leading wakanda after the snap

For square : Free space

Bird Set Free by mrs_d (Samsteve, Teen And Up Audiences, 15,361 words)

Summary: Steve thinks all hope is lost when he gets transformed into a helpless finch, but then he meets a man who smells amazing and, even better, can understand what he’s saying.

this super-cute fic features steve as a fierce but easily distracted finch and sam as a bakery shop owner who can talk to birds

[luvie-42]

Assassin of jazz Spike spiegel x Y/N

I am way to damn tired to actually try and recap what happened last time so i basically read my own draft

-After you and your new friends ate your food, Lucy was a bit concerned because ya'll were sent by Jason. Vicky had the right question to answer your curiosity. "How do you know Jason, Lou?" Lucy preferred if you called her Lou. "He was an old flame from the past, We broke up when i found out that he worked for a syndicate..." Lou went silent for a good minute, but picked up her confidence to speak again. " He would always come back with his blood or someone elses blood so I had to clean up after him" "Sooo it's like basically a romance TV show but it's a little bit...Sadder than it has to be?" Laura asked with the same level of curiosity that you had before. "Uhh yeah! You could put it like that"

-The rest talked but you could feel a cascading sense as if something was approaching you. Looking out the diner window you saw a shadow standing there holding a lighter, sparking it again and again. "Hey I'll um..Be right back." Walking out the diner as fast as you could but as calm as you could look. Outside was a woman with blonde faded hair with a red highlight on her bangs. Wearing a dark red button up shirt with a black dress jacket & shoes. Another thing was she had sunglasses so you could barely see her face. "Oh, hey kid. What do you want?" She asked in a tone as if SHE was the one who wanted something. But as if she wanted from you. "Why are you here? Can't you go smoke somewhere else? There's plenty of pla-" Cutting you off "Ah, Before you go on a rant... Let me ask you something"

-You had a bad vibe, but there were chances this woman was good. You didn't know what to do, y'know what? Fuck it. "Fine, ask away." You could just run back in the diner but, you could be careless. "You know the show Big Shot? The one that tells the bounties for the weeks?" It was quite popular ever since it aired. I mean it was one way to make some easy woo."The one with Punch & Judy?" Your memory was a bit foggy but you could remember watching your favorite show and it would cut off with Big Shot playing. Your father had to calm you down because you would cry every time it cut off "Bingo!" She said. "In this world it hunt or be hunted but what if you could feel like you weren't either of them?" She was trying to get your interest peaked and she did. "A world where you're on top you mean?"

-"Exactly"

-"You and I, think the same." She was right. And you couldn't deny it either. "What's your name hmm?" Asking you while handing you a card with the words "Syndicate of Lady Jo" (NOTE: I got the Lady Jo character from another head cannon of spike spiegel but i don't remember the name or author so if you know pls comment it) Thinking back to what Vicky said. ("What if i call you Delta, Delta Tokiyoma?) "It's Delta" It was better than any other name a stranger could call you. It was better than Curse even.

-"If you take my offer now, I can lead you into that type of world."

Ya'll im tired but still want to write so i'll probably post later today or tommorow. But good night/day Little ones!

[rickssoberjourney]

I Have the Capacity to be Just Like the Tasmanian Devil

A whirling mass of anger, wreaking havoc on the people around me. Sometimes, I feel just like that!

I've been doing a lot of thinking about this lately. I truly feel that my Higher Powert is leading me into this conversation with myself. By exposing my character defects, my HP is compelling me to examine my part in feeling unwanted.

I remember standing on the playground in 5th grade. I was looking at the girls playing foursquare and the boys playing softball. My thought? "I don't belong...I don't fit in. I felt like I was on the outside looking in."

That feeling follows me into the AA/CMA rooms. Even though many people do greet me when I walk in, there are those who (for some reasons of their own...I can't presume to know what is going on in their lives!) choose to ignore me. Sometimes, it is a person with whom I have talked, exchanged texts with, or am Facebook friends. When those people ignore me, I go right into Tazmainian Devil mode.

Now, I don't do it outright. That wouldn't do. No, I do it quietly...to myself. I wish I could say that I don't know where these feelings of not fitting in come from. I wish I could feign ignorance as to why I get so upset when people (especially in the rooms) don't greet me in the way that I think they should. I wish I could say those things, but I can't. I know exactly where it comes from...

My father.

At the risk of sounding like Southern California pop-psychology, I have "daddy issues." I'm an only child and I was raised to please my father. When I would do exactly what he wanted (being obedient, getting good grades, etc.), he would shower love and praise upon me. But, woe to me if I disappointed him! Once, I came home with a C on my report card and the didn't talk to me for a week. He would treat my mom the same way. So, I learned a powerful lesson that was reinforced day in and day out until the day I got married and moved out of his house. That was 24 years of "learning" that my happiness was dependent upon sources outside myself. If YOU like me and approvedof me, I feel great; if you don't like me, I'm shit.

Through my involvement with CoDA, I came to understand the dynamics of my daddy issues. Today, when I feel rejected because someone doesn't respond to me the way I want them to (in the rooms, in person at a bar or club, or even online), I immediately feel unlikeable and unworth. I wonder, "What's wrong with me? Why doesn't that person like me?" Then, as a defense, I resent that person.

Case in point. There is a handsome, muscular guy in one of my meetings. We exchanged phone numbers and texted a couple of times. Then, he sort of ignored me at meetings. If I started a conversation with him, seeking him out, he would talk to me but he never initiated contact with me.

One day, he walked across the room, greeted the guy sitting right next to me with a hug and conversation, and totally ignored me. His reasons? I have no idea. But, I jumped to the conclusion that he didn't like me and I started my downward spiral. This went on for meeting after meeting. And, what's worse, I began to feel that way about several other people in the room.

Nevermind the people who DID greet me! I was hurt and pissed that the people that I WANTED to greet me didn't. What a shithole of self-doubt and anger because they didn't give me what I wanted. I knew there was a problem, but I placed the blame mostly on them and not me, even though I knew the genesis of my feelings.

Last night, things came to a head. It's amazing how my HP will smack me in the head to get my attention. That is exactly what happened at the Speaker's Meeting last night.

A Facebook friend whom I had never met face to face was at the meeting. We greeted each other and then he said, "Do you know Greg D.?" I wasn't sure. "Well, he told me that you sent him a friend request and then blocked him a few days later when he didn't respond right away." I was embarrassed and tried to explain, but the meeting was starting and I had to go sit down. That was a long meeting!

My HP was working on me. I knew that I had done Greg wrong. I knew that by sending a "nasty" message and blocking him, I was being hypersensitive and that I was definitely in the wrong. Then, I sat there looking out over the large audience. Unconsciously thinking, "Oh, that person is not nice to me." "He knows me and has talked to me on several occasions and yet he walks right past me unless I say something. Well, fuck that! Why should I HAVE to be the one to reach out all the time?" That kind of thinking went on for a few minutes.

Then God-smacked...

Maybe it is not them. Maybe it's you! Maybe you behave that way to build walls so that no one can hurt you. Maybe you look for reasons to keep people out. Maybe you think, "I'll hurt them before they can hurt me!" All of those choices (although difficult to swallow!) were definite possibilities. I sat there realizing just how fucked up I really am.

Now, I've learned enough from my sponsor to question my thinking. I've learned to be gentle with myself and to not tell myself that I'm "fucked up!" But the thoughts came anyway. And, while I could have been gentler with myself, I had to face the fact that I was running headlong into who I really was.

None of this is THEIR problem; it's MY problem. Thank you HP for giving me that uncomfortable realization.

What do I do with this? At times, I simply don't know. I'm trying to concentrate on those kind people in the rooms that always greet me and ask how I'm doing. I try to get out of myself, making sure that I talk more about them than I do about me. But, there's still a rub.

Today, in the 8:30 meeting, I shared about what happend last night. I confessed that I didn't feel welcome in the rooms but that I realized that it was MY PROBLEM and I wasn't blaming them at all. I told them that by "coming clean" about my issues that maybe I could trust them enough to love me through it. I'm so glad I shared!

The next person to share was that guy that walked right past me, ignoring me in favor to greeting the man next to me. What he shared floored me.

"I do exactly what Rick does!" he said. He related a story about a burgeouning friendship with someone in the rooms. He talked about the interests that they shared...and then, how that guy simply stopped communicating with him.

Just like me, he started in on himself. "Why doesn't he like me anymore? What did I do? Must must be a pretty shitty person for someone to treat me like that!" My thinking pattern EXACTLY! Then, he shared something that his sponsor shared with him. It went something like this: "Expectations are resentments waiting to happen."

Bingo!

He and I have expectations of people and of how we want to be treated. Nevermind that they have lives and struggles of their own. "You need to make me feel good about myself but treating right, damn it! You aren't living up to MY expectations!"

Fuck...what a trap!

The only conclusion I can come to is that I need to take care of my side of the street. I need to be open to those who greet me warmly. I need greet others warmly. And, if they don't, rather than making it "all about me!" I can utter a silent prayer..."Peace be with you!" and move on with my life.

But what about situations where I want to make friend with someone. There is another young man that I have become friends with. He (so far!) has been very welcoming and open to conversation with me, both in the rooms and on Facebook. But, I find myself doing things that will engage him. I find myself playing "come and get me," saying and doing things on purpose that I know will elicit a response.

I do it all the time in almost every aspect of my life, wheher it is baking for people or blocking them on Facebook. In doing those things, I try to elicit a response...responses that will make me feel OK about myself. Doesn't always work, however. There are those expectations setting up resentments.

Ok. I get it!

My dilemma: how do I get to know this guy (and others in the rooms) without playing "come and get me" and without manipulating them to soothe my wounded ego? Is every overture to another person a veiled plea to validate me? How do I know? Do I keep to myself and only interract when someone approaces me? With this man, do I sit back at let him come to me instead of manipulating the situation? How do I navigate this without building walls, while at the same time being able to live with the very real possibility that my expecations might be wrong and that I might get my feelings hurt? I'm not sure I have the answers yet.

For now, sitting back and letting things happen naturally seems the course that I will take. I desperately want this guy to like me (not necessarily in a romantic way!) but I think that my need for approval from him just might drive him away. So, I sit back and wait on my HP. If I'm supposed to get to know him, I will. I don't have to orchestrate it. In fact, I need to get the hell outta the way and let my HP take care of things because when I take the helm, I'm sure to run aground!