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#in the show. Also Marcus truly was absolutely beautiful. Hands down the most handsome one off guy in the show in all seasons
mejomonster · 3 years
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hottest guys in xena:
1. Marcus - obviously, he’s a parallel for Xena, one of Xena’s genuine loves and I think her best one-off romance stories in the show, genuinely a best friend, and he went through his own entire redemption and hero’s journey. absolutely lovable. i miss him. one of my favorite side characters.
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2. Draco - ok yes, he’s usually the bad guy. literally the bad guy of ep 1. but also? he’s hot. probably the hottest guy on the entire show (its just you know marcus is all around hero xena-equal material so i adore him a little more). but every single time Draco shows up on screen? I know he’s going to do something cool, act well, and the episode will be entertaining. And set up from episode 1 he’s a fascinating side character who knows Xena from the past, has a lot in common with her and who she used to be, and is one of the guys often in a bad guy role who feels like he has his own solid motivations and reasons for the path he’s taking in life (a lot like Xena and Marcus, and most of the more interesting side characters in the show). Basically ;-; I just wish he was in more episodes, I always miss him when he’s gone, and get way too delighted when I read a future ep summary and find out he’ll be back. 
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3. Autolycus - played by Bruce Campell its hard not to find him at least fun and a little charming. While not actually hot to me at all during the show, while Xena was in his body she kissed Gabrielle and since Autolycus being a good friend helped make their first kiss a reality, he gets some favoritism in my book ToT. And very much like Draco, when he’s in an episode you know it’s probably going to be good. At least entertaining. I think the mustache is a plus tbh. Just gotta admire the Energy
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4. Joxer - why yes, this is a biased list! While I am aware to my dumb attractions Aries is arguably hotter to me despite just feeling fury most of the time he’s on screen (so thanks writers for making me hate him as much as Xena does - its a good job, and I do love to hate him ToT what I love in a villain). But I loved Ted Raimi’s performance, I love the third part of the main character trio is not a beefcake or super muscley, I like that he looks like a person I can relate to. I love his arc, how much he grows alongside Xena and Gabrielle, like my dude starts out trying to fit into a warlord family and failing, learning to become a hero in his own right, and even more just developing a friendship and found family with Xena and Gabrielle. And best friends are hot! (Also comedically he works great with the main cast, like pretty much everyone on my hot rankings list lol, the show would not be the same without Joxer, also the performance of Ted Raimi as Xena’s reincarnation was a fun episode! And yes, like Autolycus - being Xena temporarily does ramp up hotness ToT)
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5. Aries - because while he’s a villain and WOW do I HATE that DUDE - I also absolutely love him AS a villain. I LOVE when he shows up, even though I know I’m going to hate it and be stressed and be as tense as Xena until he’s gone. I love that he’s a villain that gives interest and momentum when he’s involved, like many on this list he feels like his motives have meaning and he cares about what he’s doing. Also... he is very pretty, and the joy that is him and Gabrielle - love rivals for Xena’s affections, the ex and the current babe - just having to be civil and chat it out, is hilarious and appreciated. Also, again, he’s very pretty ok I’m shallow
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ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
6. Bonus! CALLISTO
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SHES A FUCKING NIGHTMARE! HOT AS HELL! XENA’S FOIL AND WOW IS IT A JOY TO WATCH! SHE’S THE CONSEQUENCES OF XENA’S SINS, AND WHAT XENA MIGHT WELL HAVE ONCE BEEN AND SWITCHED OFF THE PATH OF BEFORE SPIRALING ALL THE WAY INTO WHAT CALLISTO’S BECOME. (Incidentally like multiple others on this list, she once body switched with Xena ToT). Her actress is magnetic, her whole aesthetic is my goal aesthetic, if i had to fall in love with a villain (and yes i SHOULD run but i really love Callisto!) Technically she doesn’t fit on this list since it was originally supposed to be about the guys (because if I made a list on Xena girls it would be a huge beast of it’s own), but I wanted an honorable shoutout for the original villainess I lovingly adored (with Lana Parrilla to blame for one of my favorites since lol).
And I realized as I finished up this list just how much what scores her as one of my Favorite Xena Characters also happens to help me find anyone else on the show hot - were they written well, did they make their episodes more fascinating, were their motives and actions sensible considering who they were, were they compelling villains/side characters/people in their own right, and did they have solid reasons and connections to the main character’s own arcs and lives when they interacted? Everyone on this list gets a big YES on these points. 
#rant#xena#xena warrior princess#xwp lb#<- that is my xena tag when i watch lol#YES THIS IS A VERY SUBJECTIVE LIST LOL#very catered to MY tastes and mine alone#i know i probably think Draco was way too hot (but he was)#literally he's number 1 to me in terms of sheer looks and fun to see what he does in the story on screen#but Marcus being you know. my favorite one off romance and friend and just parallel to Xena makes him more important in terms of like being#in the show. Also Marcus truly was absolutely beautiful. Hands down the most handsome one off guy in the show in all seasons#also yes. aries was hotter to me with his long hair. i loved to hate him basically ToT#Again i woulda. been happy with more Draco. nearly always ToT#Autolycus is an odd situation where i find i enjoy bruce campbells acting a lot but do NOT find him attractive for some reason#so the fact the show made him out as charming/ladies like him made me ??? since i would sooner want to kiss Joxer by far#in fact i'd rank joxer higher in terms of my personal finding him hot BUT since Xena kissed gabrielle in Auto's body#auto just kinda gets ranked higher for helping ya girls makeout ya know? and come back together#but then again Ted Raimi played reincarnated xena so! its really a tie in my head!#i CANNOT even rank the girls cause i have no idea who i'd put as hottest i'd just cry in indecision#the guys are easier to rank since. these are probably the sum of all the men i found hot in the show. yeah.#also making this taught me NO ONE took enough screencaps of Draco hes SO handsome and theres barely any photos??? a travesty
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