#in the middle of colleen ballinger shit too

[teddyreblogslotf]

you guys if you are siding with mickey you do realise you’re taking the side of an abuser and ur probably….. in the wrong??????

for a fandom based on reading some of us sure do not know how 2 read it would seem

[gingerwritess]

Hey-o! I don't know if you'd take a request like this (and you probably have so many piled up already since you're so amazing) but I'm in a mood and I'm craving some Loki & reader pregnancy + body positivity with like major fluff. Basically I've just been watching a lot of Colleen Ballinger's pregnancy videos and that inspired this odd request.

took forever but here’s that pregnancy fluff you wanted! 

turns out i wanted it too…hope more of you do too ksjdkaldkf how does anyone n o t this is so fluffy gosh

also this could be when you’re preggo with either kid, elliot or lil frigga !!

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“Look, if you’re not going to stay in bed, then you at least owe it to your husband to keep your shirt off.”

Loki’s pouting.

Like a child. Bottom lip out and trembling, eyes narrowed, arms crossed. You’re still deciding if it’s endearing or just annoying, but the scales might be tipping a little more towards endearing when he grabs your pillow and hugs it to his chest.

“Come back or keep your shirt off,” he warns, voice muffled when he buries his face in the pillow. “Both would be ideal, of course, but I won’t force you.”

“Oh, thanks, you’re a saint.” You pull your arms back out of the t-shirt with a tiny smile.

He flings an arm across your empty side of the bed, still hugging your pillow to his chest—a quiet plea for your warmth again.

“I didn’t realise you stopped loving me.” A tiny sniff—oh come on, Loki—comes from behind the pillow. “I thought it’d be a gradual process, but no, I suppose I must’ve done something unforgivable to constitute you leaving me after such an enjoyable night…”

“I’m just getting some water, Loki.”

“You’ve done this before,” he whines, peeking just his eyes out from behind the pillow. “A few nights ago, remember? And I ended up falling asleep before you were back and I was alone and cold and—”

“Loki.” You’re back, wrapping your re-discarded shirt behind his neck and cupping his cheek in your palm. “You’re an idiot.”

“How sweet.”

You laugh and lean down to kiss him, pulling the pillow out of his arms as you melt into his chest. “There. I kept my shirt off and came back to bed. Happy?”

He lifts you slightly, pushing you to the side and curling his arms around you to hold you to his chest without hurting your swollen baby bump.

“Very.” A finger under the chin tips your head up and your mouths meet, slow and lazy. “Is this alright?”

“Perfect,” you mumble, searching for his lips again.

“You’re comfortable? I don’t want to hurt the—”

“I’m fine, Loki, don’t worry.” Chuckling at the genuine concern in his voice, you kiss him a couple more times…y’know, just to be sure.

He hums, low in his throat, practically a purr and you know he’s in heaven. His hand inches towards you as you watch, waiting to see if he’ll just do it or keep pretending like you’re not noticing—

“You’re not being very subtle, honey.”

You grab his hand and plant it firmly on your belly.

Loki grins.

“Mine.”

“Yes, dipshit, yours.” You heave a sigh and roll onto your back, tugging Loki onto his side as you do.

He gazes down at you with that stupidly adorable little grin, thumb stroking slowly over your stomach, and he leans down to brush his lips over yours. “You…you are beyond beautiful.”

“Mmhm. Okay, sure.”

Loki blinks. “What is that tone for?”

“What tone?” You grab the blankets and tug them up and over your bare torso, trying to roll onto your side—Loki’s hand on your stomach won’t let you.

“That sarcastic, disbelieving tone.” He frowns and sits up, pointing a finger in your face. “I don’t like that, not one bit.”

“Well, whoop-dee-doo for you.” One good yank and you’ve pulled the covers over your head. “I should’a put my shirt on, thanks a lot.”

“Why, are you cold?” His hand sneaks under the covers to grip onto your breast, squeezing gently. “I can always…warm you up, if you’ll let me.”

You smack his hand away with a groan. “No, sheesh. Maybe in a couple months.”

“Where did this come from?”

The poor guy sounds flabbergasted, honestly, staring down at you as you hide under the covers. Just minutes ago, you were cheerful and playing with him, kissing him and calling his name sweet as honey from your lips, but within seconds dove under the covers and—this is the really surprising part—won’t even let him touch you.

“Was it something I said?” He tries to lift the sheet away from your face, but you hold it tight and nod.

“Ah. Would you be willing to tell me what it was?”

You shake your head at him from under the sheet and he frowns.

“How am I supposed to know—”

The sheet flips down to reveal you scowling up at him, abruptly shutting him up as he raises his hands in defense.

That is the face of a woman you don’t want to upset.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs when you pull the sheet back up, hiding from his adoring gaze. “I’m sorry, my love, for whatever it was I said that upset you.”

“Hmph.” Your middle finger pokes out from the top of the sheets.

Loki resists the urge to roll his eyes. It’s been a while since you had a complete hormonal meltdown, he should’ve known this was bound to happen.

There’s a few things he’s learned not to bring up, like, at all with your pregnant self, unless he wants to be faced with a sobbing wreck or raging half-devil of a wife.

Your appearance is number two on the list, as difficult as that is for Loki to accept.

In his mind, he’s never seen you looking more ethereal or alive and beautiful as you are while pregnant with his child. Your belly round, your breasts full, face filled with light and eyes positively sparkling with excitement, you’re a dream in and of yourself in this state.

You, on the other hand, seem to believe you’ve taken on the appearance of a whale and elephant hybrid. There’s no convincing you otherwise, and Loki has to accept that, though he always tries to tell you differently (only making matters worse).

But Loki just called you beautiful—he couldn’t help it.

Tears gather in your eyes as you hide under the sheet, wishing Loki would go away and let you be disgusting in peace.

It’s bad enough he’s been through all your sicknesses with you, rubbing your back with a cool hand whenever you vomit into the toilet, cleaning up your snot-filled tissues, letting you drool all over his leather shirts whenever you fall asleep on him.

Just thinking about it makes you start sniffling, tears welling in your eyes and you hold the sheet tighter over your head, dreading the moment Loki hears you crying.

The crying is gross, too. You hate how easily you cry these days—the other night Loki offered you a foot rub and you burst into tears, unable to believe that he, Loki, a god, a prince, a king, would ever actually stoop low enough to touch your feet.

The tears were also partially because you really, really wanted a foot rub—those swollen ankles hurt like a bitch.

You can feel a tear sliding down your cheek, which only brings a new wave of them to your eyes as you see Loki’s silhouette just sitting there next to you, waiting for you to come out.

He’s picking at the comforter of the bed, humming quietly to himself and leaning back on his hands.

That little shit. Why does he always look so good??

You sniff loudly, just to see what he does.

“Come out from there,” he sighs, rubbing a hand up and down your thigh. “Come out here and talk to me, I want to listen to you.”

Another shake of your head and this time you don’t even know why you’re being so stubborn.

Loki sighs again, his head dropping back before he rolls over to hold himself over you. He places his hands on either side of your face, smoothing the sheet you’re hiding under tight over your face, and then he kisses you.

His lips are perfectly warm right now, even with a layer of fabric keeping your skin from touching, and you can’t help but not fight when he starts carefully pulling the sheet away from your face.

“I’m so sorry,” he murmurs again once he sees your tearstained face. “Is this…because I called you beautiful?”

The tears well up again and you nod, afraid to open your mouth and start sobbing.

“I can’t apologise for that,” he gently explains, stroking his thumb over your cheek. “I truly believe that you are beautiful, simply…indescribable.”

“Oh, shut up,” you whisper hoarsely, pulling the sheet up to your teary eyes.

“No.” He smiles and tugs the sheet away again. “I love you, my wife, my beautiful, pregnant wife, with all your drool and vomit and swollen ankles. I wouldn’t trade any of that for anything else in this universe.”

“Fuckin’ sweet talker,” you mutter, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand. “Damn silvertongue, always making me an emotional mess.”

He smiles at you with a little shrug, brushing away one last tear with the pad of his thumb. “Tell me what you need from me. I want to help you, my love.”

You let out a long breath through pursed lips, staring up at your husband as you regain control of your tear ducts—nearly impossible, but hey, you try.

“Whenever you’re ready,” he smiles, long eyelashes blinking beautifully as his eyes crinkle at the edges. “Do you want to, um…”

Leaning back against the headboard, he holds his arms out with a sheepish little grin.

“Of course, idiot.”

“There you go calling me an idiot again,” he sighs, immediately wrapping his arms around your chest when you clamber over to settle yourself between his legs. “You should be kinder to your poor husband, don’t you think? I did massage your feet, after all.”

Your elbow lands under his ribs and all the breath in his lungs leaves him in one big oof.

“You offered, dipshit.”

“…true.”

“You’re the worst.” Your head lolls back against his shoulder and you close your eyes, Loki’s scent making your head spin.

Peppermint, rainy forests, leather…

“I want mint chocolate chip ice cream,” you announce, head shooting off his shoulder just as he was starting to plant soft kisses along your jaw. “You smell like peppermint, I need peppermint, Loki, quick.”

“But we just got comfortable—”

“Magic it.” You snap your fingers a couple times, waving your hands around in front of you. “Poof. Ice cream. Or a candy cane. Or just a damn mint, c’mon, I just want peppermint!”

Loki sighs again and drops his head back against the headboard. “Do you have any idea how draining it is to pull food from thin air, my love?”

You twist around to gawk at him. “Uh…no, no, I don’t.”

“Right. Human.”

Your loving husband is too good to you, really; he waves his hands around, snaps his fingers in your face a few times just to make you giggle, putting on a show just to appease your demands.

“Peppermint ice cream.” The bowl materialises in his hand in a literal poof of green smoke, most likely unnecessary, and he brings it in front of you with a dramatic swipe of his arm. “For the pregnant woman with an idiot husband.”

“Who, me?” You smile and reach up to grab his jaw, tugging him down and pressing a sweet kiss to his chin. “Uh, my husband’s incredible, I don’t know who you’re talking about.”

Heat rushes to Loki’s face and he ducks his head, blushing harder when you poke a finger into his cheek with a laugh.

“You’re an idiot, my love.”

“Hey.” The spoonful of ice cream leaves your lips with a pout. “Be kinder to your poor wife, I’m pregnant.”

“Oh, are you?” He squeezes your waist, bringing a shout of laughter from you. “I hadn’t noticed.”

“Shut up before I make you give me a foot rub again.

Stealing your spoon and taking a big heap of ice cream, he hums around the bite, raising his eyebrows at you. “I’ll be more than happy to rub any part of you, darling, you know this.”

“I hate you, dipshit.”

“Dipshit. I think I preferred idiot.”

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hope you enjoyed, feel free to send me ideas!

loki tags: @bluediamond007 @himitoshi @drakesfiance @destiel1597 @dangertoozmanykids101 @archy3001 @jcalpha1 @yzssie @skullvieplu @forthesnakeofdragons @skulliebythesea @wegingerangelica @storiesfrommirkwood @agarwaeneth @adaliamalfoy @laurfangirl424 @paradisaicsam @fitzsimmons-is-forever @ladylokimischief @katelinwrites @tarynkauai @polaristrange @loavesofmeat @canadian-ravenpuff-multishipper @lou-makes-me-strong @holyn0vak @chocolatealmondmillk @swtnrholland @kenzieam @jessiejunebug  @catticas @the-republic-and-face-of-texas @doralupin01 @whitewitchdown @atomiccharmer @falconfeather23435 @babygirlicecream @avengrcs @vethrvolnir2 @bookgirlunicorn @wabisabigrl @myhealingstar @khaleesi-marvel @ei77777 @spacecrumbs @scarlettghost13 @rocks-are-pretty-odd @confessionsofastrugglingteen @easilydistractedwriter @arttasticgreatnessoftheawesome77 @fluffyllamaswearinghats @milktearose @lcyouinhell @h0tshotholland @dontmesswithmemundane @southsidesarcasticwriter @helnik-s @lilith-akemi @fire-in-her-veinz @unlikelysamwinchesteronahunt @mischievousbellerina @kcd15 @mellowgirl01 @lokislilcaribbeanprincess @allthingzhiddleston @scorpionchild81 @lokixme @vast-ish @blue-automne @galaxycharmed @devilbat @kangaroobunny @end-up-well @planetariumx @sarcsep @mrfandomtastic @amaru163 @im-way-too-many-fandoms @caswinchester2000 @kybaeza @wester-than-west @vintagesunshinebitch @adefectivedetective @poetic-nikolai @moonduhsted

[selfishmachinez-archive]

Hey honey!! I hope you are doing okay but if you aren’t I’m sending you positive energy and hoping you feel better. So since I’m finally back I wanted to ask who your favorite youtubers are? because I saw you mentioned youtube rewind earlier, which I honestly thought was a big mess. Also if you could give me some song recs because I wanna know what you enjoy and to see what we have in common!! I also just wanna find new music and maybe find new youtubers to watch.❣️🖤

okay this is gonna be rlly long probably bc im gonna put everything into sections so im gonna do a cut thingy and also tag it as “long post” for those who dont wanna scroll thru it all sdgfhjkl

so for youtubers i watch a lot of them bc i dont watch normal tv nor do i have netflix/hulu.

gamers: markiplier, jacksepticeye, pewdiepie, crankgameplays, captainsparklez, cinnamontoastken, dan and phil games, cryaotic

commentators: pyrocynical, memeulous, imallexx, willne, anything4views, inabber, cody ko, adoseofbuckley, yoel rekts!, chris ray gun, h3h3productions

political/social issue/news commentators (time to get controversial): blaire white, hunter avallone, shoe0nhead, anthony brian logan, lauren southern, jaclyn glenn, ready to glare, philip defranco, rebel media, lauren chen, milo yiannopolous has a youtube channel but hes… a lot rn, stevencrowder

spooky guys nd gals: rob dyke, cayleigh elise, reignbot, mrcreepypasta, creepsmcpasta, theres more i just cant think of names

muas: james charles, jeffree star, glam & gore, madeyewlook, gabriel zamoa, nikkietutorials

education: vsauce, scishow, game theory, film theory, kati morton, psych2go, cg kid, asapscience

etc: rusty cage, idubbbz, filthy frank (rip), maxmoefoe, myah alanna, boyinaband, brandon rogers, hope for paws, colleen ballinger, miss london, kalvin garrah, st0rmryan, sam collins, trisha paytas, good mythical morning, the try guys, jacksfilms, josh peck, first we feast, kurtis conner, shane dawson, jenna marbles, roly, rosanna pansino, supercarlinbrothers, ryland adams, tana mongeau, eugenia cooney, gabbie hanna, joe santagato, drew monson, garrett watts

OKAY NOW FOR MUSIC and its only gonna get longer and worse from here. also different formatting. ur probably like “pls perish i regret sending this ask”. im gonna try to stick with 10 songs max for each genre and if you wanna skip this section all together my spotify is hatefuckz.

rap/hip-hop/anything else in this similar genre:

monz - real one (ft myah)

myah - throwin paper. all her other songs are amazing too

anything by lil peep !!

lil xan - far

rich brian - glow like dat

joji - bitterfuck

joji - pills

all of post malones stuff is rlly good

xxxtentacion is good depending on what ur into. if ur into like,, heavier rap check out his older stuff but if ur into more emotional tracks his newer stuff might interest u

emo shit:

falling in reverse - sink or swim

fall out boy - sugar were going down swinging

hawthorne heights - silver bullet

bring me the horizon - shadow moses

panic at the disco - lying is the most fun a girl can have

hawthrone heights - ohio is for lovers

everything by pierce the veil is amazing

fit for rivals - damage

country:

rascal flatts - life is a highway

carrie underwood - before he cheats

blake shelton - honey bee

miranda lambert - kerosene

laura bell bundy - giddy on up (giddy on out)

jake owen - barefoot blue jean night

jason aldean - my kinda party

trace adkins - honky tonk badonkadonk

metal (or just rlly hardcore stuff idk nobody come at me its 3am):

rings of saturn - natural selection

bring me the horizon - alligator blood

motionless in white - immaculate misconception 

white chapel - the saw is the law

attila - middle fingers up

attila - party with the devil

suicide silence - fuck everything

chelsea grin - playing with fire

slipknot - disasterpiece

acoustic punk:

mischief brew - gimme coffee, or death

human kitten - i dont want to be sad

sledding with tigers - that one limp bizkit song

neck deep - december

a day to remember - if it means a lot to you

ajj - brave as a noun. also all their other stuff

literally everything by crywank

just nick - cliche filler punk song

one night stand in north dakota - suicide is painful

panuccis pizza - i killed arbor day for you

if you want any specific genres or anything just send another ask nd ill gladly give u more stuff

also obviously i listen to nd adore 1d nd some other artists i forgot to add. flatsound being another.