#in the linked post there are links to more discipline/punishment related ask–brainrots as well btw! x

[johnslittlespoon]

Question because I loveeeee talking about how sex and sexy scenes can sometimes just not work because hello, this is real life!

“but gale gets good at rephrasing it in a way that they're both comfortable with, after some trial and error.”

Re. said trial and error: do u think they’ve ever been in a situation where Gale translates Bucky’s desire to be put in his place as him wanting Gale to be mean to him/ put him down. Because I’m just like. Imagine if this did happen in a situation where Bucky was being punished/ is over Gale’s knee. And at the start Bucky is obviously into it so Gale kind of thinks of that as maybe he should amp it up a little and he starts being a little cruel with his words. And maybeeee Bucky whimpers in response but it’s too similar to his other noises for Gale to realize he isn’t liking this and he’s getting in his head. AND then. Because Bucky is a decent way through his punishment, his desire to be good for Gale has really peaked so he doesn’t wanna say anything and he just tries to take the words and really be good but the harsh words in combination with the fact that Gale is a strong man and he’s been spanking for a while now and it’s starting to be a little uncomfy and just. Too much for Bucky. I can see him being able to take a bit of uncomfortable squirmy type pain IF Gale is sweetly talking him through it. But the harsh words and the pain is way too much for him. And eventually Gale notices and they just stop the scene and Gale just comforts and loves on him <3

referenced post | hellooo yes i can elaborate! i also love talking about how sex can not work out; i feel like it adds so much to a pairing’s dynamic when everything’s not cookie–cutter perfect, and like you said, in real life it’s not always sunshine and rainbows. 1.5k words of nsfw drabble below the cut (ik. so much for short replies sigh) <3

i can for sure see things getting lost in translation, or just miscommunications happening, or trying things they think they might like but then finding out they don’t like it, etc. but i think with ‘canonic’ characterization, in the context of gale actually being mean/putting john down, this probably isn’t something that would happen, because i think even if john genuinely did want that, it’s something gale wouldn’t be comfortable with. i feel like he’d maybe be fine with being mean in a teasing way, ie: light degrading, light humiliation, that sort of thing, but anything actually ‘unkind’ even if it’s all part of a scene, i’m not sure it would fly with him, or at least the way i view/write his character!

but for the sake of fun brainrot? absoluuutely lol. >:) and as an aside in this scenario, i could even see john himself thinking he’s wanting gale to be mean to him, not understanding that the actual desire is him wanting to be put in his place and roughed up, and not realizing his miscalculation until it’s (in his mind) too late. + the outcome of all this is likely some level of subdrop, but they’re two dudes in the 40s, they wouldn’t have that vocabulary lol, so it really does all circle back to trial and error and figuring out what the other really needs. :-)

i can see this starting out with john spending a day really acting up to ensure he gets under gale’s skin good, because as outwardly confident and content to run his mouth as he is, sometimes he doesn’t feel like asking for what he needs, maybe even feels a little bit embarrassed having to say it out loud. that, and there’s more of a thrill when gale just does it on his own, because it gives john the genuine feeling of having control taken from him. 

by the end of the day, gale’s at the end of his rope. he gets john alone finally and tangles a hand in his hair and gives it a harsh tug as he asks “what the hell’s gotten into you today?” and he can tell exactly what type of mood john’s in just by the way his jaw goes slack and how he looks a little winded at the show of force. so gale pushes him down to his knees, grabs his jaw with a firm hand, says “y’want me to be mean?” and john’s already a bit flushed, nods dazedly, and gale tightens his grip and goes “really, now?” and john nods again, whines a little, and well, alright. who’s he to deny him?

and maybe john even pushes a tiny bit more so gale has a reason to let himself be a little more cruel; maybe gale sits on the couch and tells john “over my knee.” and john just stays kneeling with droopy eyes and a lopsided smile, knowing damn well he’s playing with fire, and gale has to stand back up and drag him over by the back of his neck and drape him over his lap himself. john’s thrilled, obviously, already dizzy at being manhandled like that, but gale’s even more ticked off.

so john gets bent over gale’s lap and is made to count each hit as gale gives him a generally disapproving verbal lashing, y’know classic “i thought you like being good for me john, what happened? you think you were good today?” to make john squirm, to get him flustered a little having to focus on counting and answering questions. gale can feel that john’s hard and leaking against his thigh, and he’s making the prettiest, desperate little noises in between the words he manages to choke out, and right about now’s where he probably strays out of character.

they’re both so caught up in the scene, and john sounds so worked up that gale knows he’s giving him what he needs, so he lets his tongue get a little more sharp. maybe morphs into the territory of “can’t use your head right, huh? just can’t learn to listen for once?”, “don’t know why i keep trying to teach you to be good when you seem to enjoy disappointing me,” “shouldn’t even be touching you right now, you don’t deserve the attention.”

and all the while, john’s hips are wriggling, and he’s gasping out small noises, but he’s long since stopped counting and his head’s feeling fuzzy in a not–good way, and whereas gentle words between teasing would usually ease the sting on his ass, there’s no reassurance to cushion the ache of each hit this time. but he’s still all worked up and floaty and all his brain can comprehend is that gale’s unhappy with him, disappointed, fed up, and none of it in a fun way, so he wants to fix that, and the most obvious way to him with the state he’s in is to make gale proud by sitting through his punishment.

john tries to continue being responsive, to attempt to answer gale’s questions, to apologize at the right times, to just push on through because he’s sure gale’s close to done and then they’ll both get to make each other feel good. but he feels stupid and bad and he kinda just wants to curl in on himself, and a small part of him is telling him gale doesn’t actually believe what he’s saying, but the rest of him is taking the words to heart. his eyes are stinging and suddenly he’s blinking away tears and whimpering out a string of “sorrysorrysorryi’msorry” and then gravity’s shifting as gale abruptly pulls him up and into his lap, warm hands cupping his face.

soft, frantic murmurs of “hey, heyheyhey, what’s wrong, baby?” as wide eyes search john’s flushed face, thumbs gently stroking over tear streaked cheeks, but john’s in no state to speak or explain where his head’s gone. it’s alright though; it doesn’t take more than a few seconds for gale to clue in, and then he feels awful, but he’s immediately focused on calming john down. pulls him in close and tucks john’s face against his neck, murmurs “oh, sweet thing, i’m sorry, that was too much, wasn’t it?” as he rubs john’s back, kissing the top of his head. assures him over and over that he’s not actually mad, that he is so good for him, a good listener, could never disappoint him, etc.

just keeps quietly talking and petting his hair and squeezing him tight until he can feel the tension slowly leave john’s body as he relaxes into his lap. and john feels stupid as he calms down, feels like he’s made a big deal out of nothing, like it shouldn’t have affected him so much, and then he gets in his head about that, but gale can hear the hamster wheel in his head going and murmurs all fondly, “i can hear you thinking, john. you stop that right now.” and it gets a wet laugh out of john, a sniff.

gale asks if it’s alright to move to their bed, and john nods, so they get cozy there instead, and john feels ashamed for (in his mind) ruining their evening, and gale feels terrible for making john feel bad about himself for even a second, kicking himself for not realizing things were off sooner. so there ends up being a bit of a joint need for reassurance, gale making absolutely certain john understands he doesn’t actually think any of the things he’d said, and john making sure gale knows he has no reason to feel bad, and that he forgives him (though john doesn’t like that gale's apologizing at all). 

it turns into an evening of aftercare via cuddles and words of affirmation and gentle touches, maybe leads into sweet and soft kisses and lazy grinding and feeling each other up until they get off like that, limbs all tangled up, lovesick pet names and praise from both of them. i think this specific incident would shake gale up so much that– if there wasn’t one already that john had just been reluctant to use during the scene, in which case a serious conversation would need to be had between them– he’d ensure they establish a safe word, and on top of that probably stick to softer things for a bit, both of them emotionally tender.

and in terms of trial and error, they’d learn gale’s comfort limit with being harsher, because even if john had enjoyed all of it, gale thinks that he might’ve still felt a bit guilty afterwards, finding more enjoyment in putting john in his place with light scolding or teasing to accompany whatever the physical punishment is. and they’d learn john’s comfort limit with being verbally punished, because while he most definitely gets off on gale being mean/rough, he gets in his head about things really easily, especially if the words touch on sore spots (that he may or may not even be aware of). 

but they never shy away from trying new things together; it’s all part of the process and even if it’s sucky sometimes to deal with things not turning out the way they anticipate, it teaches them better communication and brings them closer and they always bounce back in the end. <3