#in the aarms of an angeel

[tclkrefined]

Few things managed to break Eleanor's spirit more than feeling ridiculed, and being deceived by her best friend had left her dumbfounded. It was a sting that burned far too deep in her chest, a bleeding wound she could not close on her heart, even on her best days. Of course she would loved to have Gisela back on her side, to go back to holding hands and sharing giggles at others' expenses, but now she felt faced with a snake whenever she looked at her. Because I love him, she said, and it felt like a joke. "Do you?" She asked back, genuine. They'd barely even scratched the surface of everything there was to argue about, yet she already felt exhausted of this. "Because I cannot believe you when you say it, not when you never spoke to me of it. Not when you appeared one day, stabbing a knife in my back and deciding you love my brother." She huffed in disdain, forcing her pain out into the light, vicariously hoping a glimpse into her side could make her once-friend see it. "You love the crown on your head. You love being Queen. Tell me, would you have married him, if I had taken the crown instead? Because I highly doubt it, Gisela, and until I can believe that, I find it hard to believe you have ever been my true friend without the intention of using me as a climbing ladder and becoming the ruler. And I cannot trust or respect that."

She was one to know about the trade of marriage, she had run and hid from many suitors over the years, her eyes set on a man she could not have (at least not while her father was alive, not without causing a ruckus, not without sacrificing so much). But she and Gisela found themselves in far different positions. "It is up to them, so we agree -- it is up to the betrothed themself, is it not? If Stefan wanted to marry for wealth, then so be it, let him have it. But he does not. So it makes no sense to let Elias rule his life like this. And you holding this over our heads as a bargaining chip does not put you in better light."

Eleanor was right. Of course she was right. Gisela had wronged her in the sense that she'd gone through with her mother's demand, to become Queen of Germany by swindling Elias into a marriage and ruining Eleanor's chances at the throne. In turn, she also went back on her word, the promise that she made to never pursue her brother. For that, alone, the tears filled up in her eyes. "I did not mean to betray you, Eleanor," she protested with a shake of her head, "I have always loved you like the sister I never had. Can't this marriage only mean that we are now truly family? Finally, sisters at last?" She would have to find some way to justify it, to make it work in her mind where she could love them both by not betraying the other. Because, by now, this was no longer a game. For a while, it was not a game at all. It was real feelings, real love festering in her body just waiting to be unlocked. How could she betray that? "What have I actually done that warrants such a punishment? Have I committed a crime?" she fiercely wiped a tear that had the utter nerve to show itself on her face, "Yes, I went back on my word, but I am in love. I did not marry him because I wanted to spite you, specifically. Not everything is about you. I married him because I love him." She ought to have said that to Elias before telling his twin sister, but alas, such is the nature of true friendship. Sometimes you tell your best friend how you feel about a man before you muster up the strength to tell him yourself.

Her sharp words sting across her skin. Though this was Gisela's family now, too, she cannot help but feel a possessiveness of her brothers, guarding them from her to shut her out. Though, as queen, a betrothal between Germany and Scotland, and even Spain, was now her business just as much as it was Elias's. "That may be true, but you cannot deny that my family's good name and money certainly helped, did it not?" she snapped back, "We do not marry solely based on love and affection, otherwise you'll be married off to the nearest kitchen servant that catches your eye. It is very much a trade of love and wealth, and it is up to them to decide which one comes first... perhaps I could have a hand in rearranging the match, if only I were welcomed into this family with anything more than a tongue lashing from my best friend."