#in some of em sure he's nice and simply doesnt know better or realize what he's doing is hurting people

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

... okay I was thinking of Unrequited love and he who sleeps beneath, but with Oliver as the one fucking with gumi?? Little eldritch child I love he -🌟

omg? yesss 👁️👁️

but also

[arcadejohn127-9]

Hello!1st I wanted to say i love your blog its *chefs kiss*,and 2nd could I request (i dont know if this is in someway triggering or not so i apologize) a MC who doesnt believe the brothers can love them 'cause they despise themself and they are so set on (?) with that mindset that the brothers cant convince them otherwise,but MC themself wants to feel loved they...just cant...and they just breakdown saying they arent special and when the brothers meet other humans they will realise that MC is nothing,that they are a horrible being and they will leave them for somebody better,does that make sense I dont wanna go too deep into it(totaaaaally not self projecting)I am so sorry if this is a sensitive topic,feel free to ignore this ask,this has been eating me out for weeks so I just wanted to seek some comfort.Once again your blog is great and dont overwork yourself, take care! :D 🤍

I've definitely been there and even now, I still have these fears. Growing out of these Insecurities and feelings are hard even if you work hard to be as confident as you can. One day it'll happen but until then you just gotta keep reminding yourself that you're worth the world

Also tip, please don't rely on others for self worth - people can be cruel or simply just unpredictable. Not all but until you see every colour of a person you don't know. If you depend on someone else to give you worth and make you feel good then that'll start a very unhealthy cycle for yourself

I hate this phase "love yourself before you love others" because you don't need to, you can find healthy and happy relationships whilst insecure. But I think what it really means is; get self worth before you love another. Make sure you don't do yourself damage by giving you Someone who does the bare minimum or will sometimes make you feel good but is usually a dick.

You can find love but that love can be wrong if you don't pay attention to the red flags. Don't let your insecurities drag you into unhealthy relationships.

Because you are stunning, worth it and loveable. You're Someone people can look up to or admire even if it's for something simple like your humour.

Also thank you, I'll be sure to not overwork myself, make sure you don't pressure yourself too hard about work or your hobbies. Hobbies are all about fun!

Warning: self loathing, depressive themes, angst

You could stand it.

Your eyes traveled along the gifts and trinkets that were in your room. Each one gifted to you by a powerful demon; a demon you live with.

You couldn't stand it.

You could get it; why would someone like that every like you? You weren't special and yet Everyone insisted that you were. You're not the key. Not anything Diavolo wants or expects. Definitely not what the brothers want.

You had to scoff. The brothers only like you because of Lilith, if you were related then they'd never see you as anything but some human. Lilith dragged you here, she made sure you came here and for what? To be always told you're going to be some big thing; someone to destroy hatred and help bring together three realms.

Do they not realize how much pressure that is??!!!! And the how are you even going to do that?! You're magic is unpredictable and useless - it perfectly reflects you.

You whimpered at your own thoughts. The word useless stinging at your heart; it was almost if a knife lodged itself into your chest. Constantly stabbing the word useless into it.

You were useless. They need to find someone who can actually live up to their expectations. Just a good for nothing human....why do they even like you?

You looked back at the gifts, your watery stare turning into a hateful glare.

The question was burning inside your head. You couldn't understand; what did he see in you? You're not special! You're not anything anyone wants you to be and you're just being forced on a pedestal you didn't make!

Why did he always look at you the way he does? Like you actually mean something. Why does he smile so softly when you enter the room?

Why would he be like that when you KNOW that as soon as he meets another human, he'll be running after them without hesitation. Everyone was so much more attractive than you and better than you - you couldn't get why he loved you. Why- no how?! You weren't good enough for him!

No matter how many times he says I love you or compliments you it leaves such a bitter disgusting taste in your mouth. You're so horrible you can't even let people be nice to you - it's all a lie anyway. No one could love you. Never. No one!

You were useless! Disgusting! You weren't even attractive! You weren't loveable! You're a horrible person who looks just as horrible as they are. How can they look at you like that?! How can they stand you?! You're nothing!

You don't get it!

Why?! Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why Why why why-!

A scream ripped itself out of your throat. Tears streaming down your face as you clutched your head. Your body curled into itself, shaking and trembling as you choked on your sobs. You coughed through it as you tried to breath but the tears kept coming. Drowning you as you desperately tried to breath under their weight.

The pain was unbelievable. You felt like your head was on fire. You could barely even make out the figure standing at your door. Whoever they were, they scooped you up from the floor and rubbed circles into your arms. You clutched to them for dear life as you cried.

Somewhere in your brain you could tell who it was and it only made you cry harder. Shame filling your lungs as you tried to escape their caring embrace.

"No-! Stop it! I'm nothing! I'm useless-! Let me go-!! Why- why won't you leave me alone?! I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!! LET ME DIE-!"

were you dying? You felt like it. The ache was painful; your chest growing tighter and tighter. You pounded on their chest, demanding they let you be the useless thing that you are alone.

Lucifer:

He forced back his tears

Just rubbing circles into your skin as he held you

To think you were this Insecure despite being the nicest person who knew

You were Better than him and don't let pride stop you - you were amazing

"not good enough for me? What made you believe that...? You're perfect for me, you complete me."

You denied his claims, sobbing as you listed your insecurities

"Your insecurities don't define you, you're so much more than that - I wouldn't of picked you to be my love if I didn't think you'd be adequate."

He wasn't sure if you were still listening but he pushed past his doubts

Adjusting you in his embrace

"I- I'm not sure if I'm comforting you....I'm not good at being the gentle hand, I want you to see how I see you - you're kind, charming and always keeping me in awe, you mean so much to me, I'll trade anything I could just to see you smile - I love you."

Mammon:

There can only be one self loathing idioit in this relationship

He refuses to let you feel like how he has

His forced confidence - you could easily see through it - anyone could

But you were the only one who then actually helped him feel better when you did see through it

He let a few tears stray, holding you close

"did someone say something to you? I don't forgive 'em for ever making ya this upset, I'm not letting you feel like this."

You shook your head, muttering that he should let you

"why should I? You're my favourite person and you've only made me happy - so let me make you happy! You're the only person who's ever treated me the way ya treat me and I won't let you hate yourself!"

He hugged you even tighter, squeezing you as he hid his face in your shoulder

"you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, okay? You always know how to make me feel better and it's my turn to make you feel better but you gotta listen to me! I lo-love you! The great Mammon loves you so badly that he just wants to kiss you every day! You're amazing and I won't forgive ya if you let yourself keep going on like this, let me support you.... please...I don't want you to go."

Levithan:

He couldn't get it

He's always been jealous of your personality and ability to make others feel good

His envy makes him despise himself - so seeing you be the same, he couldn't take it

He gave you one big squeeze

"d-don't be stupid! You're the best thing that's come into my life - even better than ruri-chan!"

You didn't believe him, he was obessed with that character

"but it's true-! If I could I'd get loads of merchandise of you too because you're my favourite person! You're just like the protagonists I read about."

His face was beat red but he was determined to make you feel better

"You're Henry, you are brave and kind, always trying your best even if that best isn't up to your own or others standards, you Inspire me! I've thought about of making a series about you...so others can feel just as happy as I do when I see you, you make me feel less insecure and like I actually mean something - why can I do to make you feel the same? You mean everything to me! I really like you....I like-like you-! I LOVE YOU AND I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY! Let me make you feel how you make me feel because then you'll see just how amazing you are!"

Satan:

Did someone makes you feel like this or was it just your own thoughts?

If it isn't the latter he'll need to find out who's hurt you

But right now, he hugged you tighter and cradled your head

He couldn't stand to see and hear you so destressed

"did I do something to make you feel like this? I'm so sorry if I did, I don't always realize when I come off rude or hateful- I could never hate you."

You held him tight, telling him to stop

"but I need to fix it if I've hurt you and if it wasn't me then whoever did needs to keep quiet, you don't deserve these feelings."

You huffed, trying to not cry more

He gave your Shoulder a small squeeze

"you're more than enough for me, you're so good to me - sometimes I wonder if I'm good enough for you, you're always so patient with me and don't make me feel like I'm some unthinking beast, you don't think I'm lying when I be genuine and that makes me love you - I do love you - you make me feel good and I want to do the same for you, you're beyond good and I'll always be happy with the person you are and can become because I know you can do so much and always bring positivity even in the darkest times."

Asmodeus:

He's crying too

He hated of being seen as insecure

He only wanted confidence

Seeing you sob and beat on yourself like this only reminded him of his most private moments

He held you even closer, rocking you gently

"No, dear, I love you too much to let you feel like this, you're amazing to me and I think you're better than even myself, you're my number 1."

You shook your head, telling him he's lying

"I'm not, why would I lie? You're the sweetest person I know, you don't see me as some sex object - you make me feel real and happy - so so happy."

He kissed the top of your head, hiding his tear streaked face

"I want you to be happy....you deserve it, you've got only so long to live and I'm so scared that you're going to hate yourself even until you die, I don't want that! You're beautiful amazing and I could never ask for anyone better! Please- just let's work on our confidence together...okay? You're so wonderful, don't let yourself become so hateful."

Beezlebub:

He's absolutely broken

How didn't he realize you felt this bad about yourself??

He didn't even realize he was crying aswell, just holding you close as his mind screamed at him

"did something make you feel like this? It hurts to hear you say these things."

You shook your head before nodding, muttering you just won't talk anymore

"I didn't mean that, I always want you to be open with me and if not me, atleast one of my brother's."

He picked you up, placing you in a more comfortable position and held you close to his chest

"I love you, it took me awhile to realize that but I do, you make me feel full and happy - like I just ate a big buffet of warm cakes and dishes, I'm always warm when I'm with you, I don't believe you're not good enough - you're kind to me and never judge me for eating, you help me with working out but most importantly, you fixed my family and brought my twin back, I don't know how to make you see how much that means to me and I don't want you to feel bad about yourself when you're always the best person in the room - you're really great."

Belphegor:

"just let me die"

Those words hurt him so bad

He was like that, he demanded to be left to Rot with his own self loathing when Lilith died

He pulled you close to his chest as he grabbed your shoulder

"You're not allowed to feel like this, you've done nothing to feel this much hatred towards yourself."

You told him he was wrong, crying harder

"when am I wrong? I- okay, I can be wrong but I'm not wrong about you, you're my favourite person which means I love you and I don't let my favourite people sit and cry."

He cuddled you, nuzzling his cheek against yours

"You saved me and I will never able to make it up to you, I've hurt you and I hate it- I hate that I'm a reason you get scared, don't ever let yourself rot away, when my brother's just leave me to sleep I always feel so much dread - that I'm being left to die in my bed and will never get to see their faces again - I'll never be able to see your face again....I wouldn't be able to take it.....seeing you everyday makes me want to leave my bed and always make sure you smile, let me make you smile again."

[heartbreakgrill]

Circles; Harry Styles

a/n: welcome to a new mini-series! Probably wont be more than 3 parts, but we’ll see! I watched This is Us and got major inspiration. Enjoy!

description: in which your visit the bakery you frequented as a child and run into an old face to stir up forgotten flirtations.

It was a bitterly cold day in Holmes Chapel, the wind whipping wildly across the fields and through the small town streets. You were dressed for the weather, peacoat collar flicked upwards to protect your neck from the chill. Sure, you probably looked like a psychopath with your eyes and part of your forehead the only bits of skin visible to any passerby. But, you didn’t care.

You were used to the cold weather, having just flown home from London, where it was already pouring buckets of freezing rain. At least here the air was dry. However normalized cold weather was, however, your body was obviously still affected thanks to being a warm-blooded mammal with thin layers of skin, easily frost bitten and frozen.

You licked your lips, having gone chapped from the chill, as you turned a street corner. Up ahead was your favorite bakery, one you frequented a lot before you moved to London for university. It had been two years since youd been home, having left as soon as you graduated secondary school. Of course, a certain someone had worked there whenever it began to be your favorite place, but after he left, it was simply because of the sweet elderly women and the delicious treats.

Now, you were back in town for two weeks, on winter break, before heading over to New York to visit a friend from university. You had been aching for a chocolate chip muffin from your favorite bakers for nearly two years now. When you walked in, the smell of the baked goods made your knees weak. A grin indented your face as you began to take off your scarf, earmuffs, hat, and mittens.

Sharon, the loveliest of them all, spotted you from her spot behind the counter, where she was counting cash. “Oh, my Lord! [Y/N]?!”

You stuffed your things into either pocket of your coat, feeling the warmth of the store when the door shut softly. “Hiya!” You waved as you stepped towards the glass displays.

“Laurie! Sue! [Y/N]’s here!” She rounded the counter, arms open for you. She was much shorter than you, so you bent at the waist slightly to hug her shoulders. It was the same routine with Laurie and Sue. They gushed over you, your hair, you smile, your height!

“You look so grown! So old! My heart!” Sue twirled a lock of your hair around her fingers, eyeing the color. “Did you dye it?”

“No, Sue, dont worry,” you sat at your table, in the back by the window. “It’s just damp because I got a shower this morning.”

“Oh,” Sue nodded firmly.

They took seats around you, ready to question you all about your life for the past two years. Laurie began with, “How’s uni?”

You smiled, reminiscing the good times youd made in London, “So wonderful. I absolutely love the city. Its busy and it rains a lot, but I love it.”

“Have you made any friends?” Sharon held lightly to your hand, her wrinkled skin soft and warm against your frozen fingers. “I know you expressed your concern with that whenever you left us.”

“Yeah, actually,” you squeezed, “I’m here for two weeks then heading over to New York to visit her. She was my roommate my first year, and now were renting an apartment together.”

“Oh, lovely,” Sue commented.

This continued for a few minutes, the questions and answers rolling back and forth between the four of you like waves. That was until a loud beep and holler came from the kitchen area. Sue stood quickly, muttering someone’s name and shuffling back to the kitchen.

“You hire somebody else?” It was your turn to ask, giggling lightly at her silly run.

Laurie shook her head, “No, love, it’s Harry.”

You blushed deeply, the name like a trigger to set off leftover butterflies from pubsecent you. “What?”

Sharon flinched, throwing her hands up, “Oh! Of course! We forgot to tell you!”

Laurie sighed, “Oh, yes! Harry’s here, love! He has a break from tour and he decided to visit us! Imagine, us being prioritized by a superstar!”

Sharon set a hand over her heart, smiling so sweetly, you wondered if the baked goods were seasoned with sugar or her love. “Whatta sweetheart.”

Your hands became clammy, and you removed them from the table to run them down your jeans. Laurie stood, noticing you running your hands through your hair and over your face. “Pretty,” she winked before moving to the counter, “How’s a vanilla hot cocoa and muffin sound, love?”

“G-good,” you choked, eyes flickering between her, Sharon, and the door that led to the kitchen.

Sue’s voice came into the room, louder as she came into view. “I’m sure you two would like to get acquainted again. Consider it a ten minute break like how you used to! When you’d insist I let you go when she came in. Aw!”

She grinned over at you, your eyes moving from hers to- Harry. Taller, handsome, older, curlier hair that was more controlled than it used to be. His face noticeably flushed, pupils dilated from the light- you- and his lips quirked open. You grinned, facial features experiencing the same flirts.

You stood from your chair, feeling the girl’s eyes on you although they tried to make themselves look busy. He took a few steps towards you, fingers raking through his dark brown curls.

“Wow,” he breathed, eyes widening once he realized he voiced his thoughts. “I mean, uh, hi?”

“Hey,” you chomped onto your bottom lip, withholding giggles at his maneurisms. Your hands stretched out in front of you, unsure of whether you should hug him or shake hands. You waved, “How are you?”

“I’m...okay,” he hesitated, and as your eyes let themselves flicker over his face, you noticed the bags under his eyes. “You?”

“Yeah, okay, um,” you stepped to the side and gestured to your table, “wanna sit? Catch up?”

“Sure, yeah, apparently I have a break, so,” Harry tugged his apron over his neck and balled it up. He sat down across from you as Laurie placed your muffin and drink down in front of you.

You shakily grabbed the fork, nervous under his watch, “So, how’s the superstar life?”

He chuckled, “Oh! Can’t I just be Harry for a day.”

You knew his joke held underlying meaning, so you shrugged and chided, “I never said I was a fan. Just curious as to how it’s going.”

“So, you’re not a fan?” Harry propped an elbow on the table and cradled his chin in it.

You swallowed bits of the muffin, “I dont listen often. I know your singles, of course, and that one- uh, what’s it called, ‘Same Mistakes.” Gotta admit I cried over a boy to that song once.”

“Ah, so there’s boys in your life?” Harry quirked a brow.

You blushed lightly, taking a chance as you held eye contact, “Not presently, no. But, over the past few years, yes, Ive seen a few lads.”

“Are London boys better than what we’ve got to offer?” He continued.

“Nah, I prefer homegrown boys,” you giggled before asking, “Are there any girls chasing after your heart?”

“Oh, millions,” he urged a laugh from you. “But, like you said, I’m single as of right now.”

You sipped some of your cocoa, face scrunching when your tongue faced the immense heat, “Ah. Uh, sorry-“

Harry giggled at the expression on your face, causing you to grin in return. He bit his lip and leaned back in his chair, “How long are you in town for?”

“Two weeks, you?”

“The same.”

“Nice,” you nodded. “So, since we both have a lot of time on our hands, do you maybe wanna-?”

“Lunch tomorrow? We always such a blossoming friendship within these walls, but never really saw each other outside of ‘em. I never liked it,” Harry admitted.

You pursed your lips, thinking back to your high school years, “Well, you were pretty popular, Harry. The cute, curly-headed boy who could sing, had nice teeth, and baked? Gosh, you were like the boy who killed girls.”

He chortled at the reference, “Cute, huh? You were pretty popular. Straight-A’s, sickly sweet, a gorgeous smile even with your braces and awfully done eyeliner.”

“Harry Styles, are you backhandedly flirting with me?” You pressed a hand to your chest in mock shock, “Just because youre famous doesnt mean your suddenly able to walk all over me!”

“I’m just glad youre finally able to call out my flirting.” He glanced at the watch on his wrist and noticed his ten-minutes were up. Of course, he could have stayed, but where’s the drama in that? “Ill swing by at noon to get you. See ya.”

Your mouth fell open in genuine shock as he turned into the kitchen. “Finally able...? What?”

“Shut your mouth, you’ll catch flies,” Sharon slid into the seat across from you.

Laurie stood behind her, “Two years, sweetie, two years of relentless flirting and neither of you ever made a move.”

“If something doesnt happen within the next two weeks, I might just drop dead from exhaustion, love,” Sue admitted, swinging a dish towel over her shoulder.

“Well, I guess I better get home and find an outfit.”