#in part by this i do mean. the strictest of gender and masculine feminine societal roles and norms

[mejomonster]

I've said it before and I'll say it again even though there's people who can say it much better than me. You're allowed to present however the fuck you want, however masculine or feminine or androgynous you want, different every single day or intensely many things at once or always mostly one way literally look and dress However you want. It's your life. Same goes with hobbies, you can be a man who likes doing makeup, you can be a woman who loves working on cars, you can be a nonbinary person who's hobbies happen to align to the gender norms society expects of men like literally just DO what YOU want. How you present in the ways you dress, ways you act, it's whatever you want. The things you spend your life doing, that you're "allowed" to do or not? Are anything you want, whatever you want. Your gender identity for that matter also does not need to fit into any neat boxes. It can if you feel it's right for you, and perhaps even your presentation you feel best with also aligns into the neat box of the particular society you live in. But society changes, and individuals change. And you are valid and awesome exactly as you are, you're real and the way you want your life to actually be matters, and always is something you deserve regardless of where those rigid boxes end up trying to shove everyone. Most people are not going to fit the Top Ideal boxes their society expects of people, you're not broken for not always fitting it, and you have a right to exist the way you want to. For necessitity, survival, to blend in, and other reasons each person may choose to conform and try to blend in with our particular society's boxes. But when it comes to actual identity, you choose it and it is however you feel. There's no hoops you have to fit through or box to smash into to deserve to be who you already are. And you don't have to follow any rules or hide parts of yourself or lie, in order to simply get to be who you are. You already are, the rest of what you do is whatever you want to do and choose to do for your sake given the circumstances we are stuck living in.