#in other words: they make me sick. i want to jump off a bridge because of it

[mangosaurus]

i think my favorite thing about ben and darius's relationship has to be that no matter how you choose to interpret it, nothing can erase the sheer intensity of their existing dynamic. these boys have gone through hell and back both with and for each other, and it shows. darius is undoubtedly ben's closest person, and i don't think it's a stretch to say that ben is up there with kenji and brooklynn on darius's roster of important people as well. their characters are inherently intertwined and they've had such profound and immense impacts on each others persons because of that. they love and care about each other but that love and care doesn't have to be defined in any one single way for the audience to understand that it's real and meaningful. there's a level of ambiguity to it, but that doesn't detract from what they actually have, yfm?

[thesharkwhalewhoohooooo]

Bridget x fem! Oc

In which Bridget and Athene are lovesick fools… and a whiff of dragons.

Red watched as her mom skipped around all happy, and was in a happy thriving relationship.

"I love you so very much, my heart." Athene kissed Bridget's forehead, smiling softly as the grin on Bridget's face got even brighter.

"I love you even more my goddess." The taller girl looked away with a light blush, Bridget cooing at how adorable she was.

"Oh! I want to introduce you to the transfers!" Athene looked back at Bridget, who stepped aside and revealed Chloe and Red.

Chloe was mesmerised, looking at the future inventor of many new magic techniques with wide eyes, not able to get a word out.

"Wassup girl, i'm Red, nice to meetcha." Red waved awkwardly, trying to make up for Chloe's gaping.

"Athene, Merlin's daughter, we don't really have a last name either." Chloe snapped out of it, about to say her full real name but she hesitated.

"And she's Chloe, we met your dad a bit ago." Athene nodded, wrapping an arm around Bridget's waist as prince charming skated past and took a cupcake from the platter Bridget had skilfully kept from being squished between them.

"Good morning Charming!"

"Bye Bridg, Ella!" The boy waved back with a charming grin, then did a trick and was gone.

"Uh oh, here come's trouble, let's go before she takes all your sweets Heart." Bridget refused to move, Athene sighing before standing next to the bubbly girl as Uliana and her gang approached.

"What do we have here...."

"Want one?" Uliana laughed, grabbing the platter and walking managing to eat 3 before she tossed the platter.

"That's not-!"

"Do not tell me what to do!"

Athene rolled her eyes, trying to get her girlfriend out of this situation.

"Heart, let's go hang out with Olivia, I'm sure Red would love to meet his name twin, you don't often hear of someone being called Red, this might be a once in a lifetime-."

"Someone help her!" Uliana had turned intk a flamingo, Athene sighed and waved her hand, dispelling the magic.

"Go!" Ella dragged Bridget with, and Athene grabbed the other two, enchanting her body and picking her both up, holding them under her arms as she jumped onto the roof, running towards the gardens, dropping them, and rushing to go get her girlfriend and her friend.

"What Red is she talking about, i'm a girl."

"It's probably a familiar, maybe you're named after it!" Chloe gushed, holding both of Red's hands and bringing them to her chest in excitement.

"No way." Red rolled her eyes, looking away to hide her blush as the others landed on the ground next to them.

"Hey guys, i'm back! Let's go meet Red now!" She dropped Ella onto her feet, but held onto Bridget, who was hanging off of her like a sad koala.

"My heart, it wasn't your fault, she's just a-."

"Rude fucking bitch! How dare she!" Chloe nearly choked, still not used to her mom's rough words.

"That.... Let's go to Olivia and Red, they'll cheer you right up!" Bridget barely reacted, instead mumbling something into her neck, then grasping at her shirt tighter.

"They won't hate you, they're all just very bitter individuals." Chloe nodded along, but Ella was long gone and walking back to school.

"I'm gonna go, have fun though!" Athene waved with a smile, then she started walking towards the coast.

"The stables are by the coast, mainly because many of them are water dragons."

-

Arriving there, first thing Red noticed was the deep burgundy scaled tail that came from the biggest stable there, it was twice the size of her and was slowly waving around.

"What is that?"

"That's Red, c'mon, I think he'll like you." Athene smiled at her, and Red gave a sad smile back.

"Hey Red! Delivery from Wonderland! The wonderful and beautiful Bridget Heart!" The humongous dragon that could double as a mountain lifted it's head with a huff, slowly coming closer until it could bump it's nose against Bridget, which was the same size as her.

"This, is Red, one of the few Lava dragons left, a year ago he became really sick, and it's not exactly curable, so he's here to try get better on his own. He's such a fierce and admirable being, honestly, i'd name my kid after him if I ever got one." She looked over at Red, who was looking at her with tears in her eyes.

"I'd imagine she'd be a lot like you, at least, I hope she'll be." Red looked down, and Chloe placed a hand on her back to try and help as Athene turned back to the dragon.

"She's feeling a bit sad, so i'm just holding onto her for now, sorry big man." The dragon let out another huff, this time looking straight into Red's eyes.

"I'll leave you two alone for a bit, i'll go pull the lever for your food." She patted his leg, walking off to get his food.

The dragon was still looking at Red, who had looked up now.

"What was that about?"

"She's my mom, she died when I was 10." Chloe's face fell, and the dragon reached out with one of it's claws, holding it in front of her despite the fact it was like twice or triple her size.

Red placed her hand on it, quickly wiping off her tear before it even fell, and composed herself before her mom's came back.

"Doesn't matter, apparently i'm named after some crippled dragon." Red shot a few sparkles at her, which hit her, and she let out a hiss whilst clutching her hand.

"Why would you-?!"

"Just as explosive as our Red I see, what did you teach her you old man." The dragon huffed and turned away from her as if offended.

"Okay! A hundred years isn't old! But you can get your midlife crisis now." Red still wasn't content with that, and continued to ignore her, bridget let out a muffled giggle.

"We're going to Olivia, so if you want to stretch your legs and join us you're free to do so, but don't stretch your wings too much! Else they'll get even worse!"

-

"Who was I named after?" Red asked her mom once they came back to their time, walking through the halls of Auradon Prep to her shared dorm with Chloe.

"Why the sudden interest?"

"Just because." Red shrugged, and Bridget stared at her for a bit.

"I had a friend when I was your age, she looked a lot like you, her name was Red, but the actual idea came from a dragon your mother got adopted by, he was like a wicked stepfather when I first met him, he tried to burn my head off!" She dramatically exclaimed, red chuckling at her mom's story.

"What happened to him?"

"When your mom... went away, he did too, you met him when you were younger, but I haven't seen him since she, you know." The queen of Hearts shrugged, opening the door to the dorm and walking inside with her daughter.

"But. If he were to be anywhere, he'd be in the forest near here, where he first met your mother, it's the forest by the coast."  Red eyed Chloe, who was sitting on her red bedsheets.

"Thanks Mom, i'll search for some dragon I don't even know." The queen arched a brow, but shrugged it off and hugged her daughter.

"I'll miss you, my dear, but you'll always be out heart." Red hugged her back, smiling at the nickname, but her mom was soon out of the door, leaving the two girls alone.

"Going searching for the old grump?"

"Why are you on my bed?!"

-

"Stop following me."

"No."

"Oh my god why are you so stubborn!" Red turned around to face Chloe, who looked at her as if she was stupid and crossed her arms.

"You're searching for Red, and I liked him, so fuck you i'm going with you!" Chloe stepped closer, poking her finger at Red's chest.

"You wish you could fuck me!" She spat back, her eyes flashing over her lips and back to her eyes.

As they were about to smash their lips together, the dragon they were searching for lowered his head into the trees they were under.

"Searching for me princesses?" They both jumped apart.

"You can TALK?!"

"Yes, indeed, around the hundred year mark we get the ability to talk."

"That is SO COOL!"

"Not cool! Chloe, stop making me look like a loser in front of him-!"

[thrawns-babygirl]

Stake Out (Thrawn x GN!Reader 18+)

YALL! This idea was floating around my head for so long because there is a severe lack of Ascendancy Era!Thrawn x reader content but while I was writing this fic I seem to have forgotten how to write? IDK I think this is self indulgent as fuck lmao hope u enjoy this garbage <3

Synopsis: Mid Captain Thrawn has been making eyes at the human pathfinder that navigates the Parala from time to time, totally sick of them on her bridge, Senior Captain Ziara sends them off on a mission to work out their tension.

Rating: E (18+) Warnings: Unprotected sex, creampie, alien dicks, virgin!Thrawn Word Count: 2800+

Masterlist

You had no idea what you were doing out here. Then again, a pathfinder isn’t really supposed to ask about the specifics of their commissions. You go where the clients tell you, don’t speak unless spoken to, collect your pay and head back to the station. That’s it.

That doesn’t stop you from being the tiniest bit curious about why you were ordered to accompany a single officer out into, what appears to be, the middle of nowhere.

You’ve worked with the Chiss before, more times than most of your compatriots, given that you tend to actually enjoy working with a species that most other pathfinders consider to be stuck up and unbearable. You enjoy how efficiently they seem to work; you enjoy listening to them speaking Cheunh around you, the language seemingly incredibly complex but it has an almost melodic quality that enraptures you every time you hear it.

And on some level, you will admit to yourself, you find them dangerously attractive.

You’re lost in thought as you stare out the viewport, thinking about the number of times senior captain Ziara has requested specifically you for whatever voyage the Parala needs to take, she’s always been nice to you, accommodating even. A far cry from how your other pathfinders often describe the Chiss.

You’re shaken from your musings as you hear Cheunh spoken behind you, the pleasant-sounding language bringing a smile to your face as you turn to look at the other occupant of the small shuttle.

Mid captain Thrawn is sitting against the hull, questis in hand as he makes what you assume to be a routine check in to his ship and his commander. You hear who you think is senior captain Ziara on the other end before he finishes what he’s saying and looks over to you, fixing you with that enchanting glowing red gaze. You feel your cheeks warm as you turn back around in your seat and return to staring out into space, quite literally.

“I apologise if you are bored” accented Minnisiat forces your gaze over towards the mid captain again as he rests on the floor of the ship, back against the hull, looking relaxed. You give him a warm smile and reply “Oh no, don’t worry about me, it’s not the first time I’ve been in one place for a while”.

His lips quirk in a small smile as he looks back down at his questis, seemingly done with the conversation. Inwardly, you groan in frustration. You’d been admiring the mid captain from afar for a while now, every time the Chiss request a pathfinder from your station you jump at the opportunity. Hoping that you would be able to work with him again, hoping to see his sharp cheekbones and hear his gorgeous voice and watch his lips as they wrap themselves around those Cheunh words you so desperately want to understand. And now you’re here with him, totally alone for the foreseeable future and you have no idea how to interact with him.

You look behind you again, craning your neck around the large, tall backed navigators chair to look at him again. He looks so invested in whatever he’s doing on his questis it almost feels rude to interrupt him.

“What are you looking at?” you ask before you can talk yourself out of it and he turns to face you. He doesn’t seem annoyed or offended you interrupted him so that’s a good start.

“Vagaari art” He replies simply, his focus returning to his questis “You are welcome to join me if you are bored”.

Trying not to seem too eager, you get to your feet and walk towards where Thrawn is sitting. As you approach you notice he’s spread out what appears to be a bedroll and some blankets beneath him to cushion the hard metal of the hull. Taking a seat next to him on the bedroll you lean towards him to gaze at his questis.

He seems to stiffen slightly as your shoulders touch and in the dim light of the shuttle you aren’t sure if you see a dusting of purple over his high cheekbones or if you’re just imagining things. Shifting slightly closer so that your sides are pressed together you begin asking him about each piece of art he flicks through.

He’s actually incredibly open to talking to you about it, more open than you thought he would be. He enthusiastically explains each piece he shows you, you don’t fully understand everything, but his eagerness is contagious and you find yourself smiling and becoming wrapped up in each painting and tapestry he has saved to his device.

You lean further into him, the warmth of his body radiating even through the course material of his CEDF uniform. Your hand brushes his thigh and you hear his voice catch as he explains the nuance of the composition of a specific piece. You think he’s going to ask you to move away, give him back his personal space, so it surprises you when he moves closer to you, his body pressing slightly tighter against yours.

Now it’s your turn for your breath to hitch. Testing the waters, you decide to be a bit bold and place your hand on his thigh. The usually entirely composed Chiss stumbles over his words for a moment before clearing his throat and continuing with what he was saying, his hand coming to rest on your thigh as he speaks.

He seems to be following your lead, what you do, he mimics. Testing this theory, you begin rubbing small circles on his thigh with your thumb and sure enough Thrawn begins to do the same.

Interesting… very interesting…

You rest your head on his shoulder, and he leans to rest his head on top of yours, you squeeze his thigh softly and he does the same, you move your hand slightly towards the inside of his thigh and he follows your lead, doing the same to you.

You’ve been so invested in your little experiment you didn’t even notice that Thrawn’s stopped talking about the art, he’s breathing heavily next to you as you move your hand slightly higher on his thigh, towards where you hope his cock is, unless Chiss have a vastly different anatomy than what the rest of them alludes to.

Your hand moves beneath the bottom of his uniform tunic, and you feel him, already as hard and throbbing. He chokes out what you assume to be a curse as you begin stroking him over his pants.

Looking up towards his face you notice his eyes half lidded and a very definite purple hue to his cheeks and the tips of his ears as he breathes heavily. He drags his gaze over to you and you have the overwhelming urge to kiss his slightly parted lips. Do Chiss even kiss? Is something as simple as a kiss taboo in their culture? You curse silently for not knowing his customs, but then again how could you?

Thrawn must see your eyes flicking down towards his lips because he cautiously leans forward towards you, and with a hesitance you feel is vastly uncharacteristic of the stoic Chiss, gently places his lips over yours. The kiss is clumsy, unfocused, unsure, but ever the mastermind, he quickly catches on, becoming more confident as his lips move against yours with more passion, more hunger.

You continue stroking him over his pants, and you hear the clatter of his questis being placed down somewhere off to the side as he moves a hand to the apex of your thighs, rubbing his long fingers over the fabric.

Breaking the kiss, you stare into each other’s eyes for a moment before Thrawn brings his other hand over to rest on your hip. His touch is tentative, unsure, but surely you can’t be the first person the mid captain has been with… right?

It’s like he can read your mind because the moment the thought occurs to you, he clears his throat. “I apologise I have never… with someone…” he sounds almost embarrassed over that fact, and you try to give him what you hope is a reassuring smile “That’s fine, I can… teach you if you like?” you bite your lip as he pauses for moment before nodding.

“Yes please… I would appreciate it if you… took the lead in this encounter” you don’t know if its his lack of familiarity with Minnisiat causing him to speak so formally or if this is just how Thrawn speaks, but either way you nod before leaning in to kiss him again.

You manoeuvre yourself so that you are sitting in his lap, his hard length pressing up against your core as you deepen the kiss. His hands on your hips begin to feel more sure and more confident as you run your fingers through his silky blue-black hair and begin to slowly grind down against him. He groans into your mouth as you move your hips harder and faster and you feel white hot arousal pool in your belly at the sound.

You reluctantly remove your hands from his hair to begin fumbling with the fastenings of his uniform tunic, breaking the kiss as you fumble with it. He chuckles and replaces your hands with his as he helps you open his tunic revealing a form fitting undershirt that hugs his chest highlighting the definition of his muscles.

He quickly shucks off his jacket as you untuck his undershirt pulling it over his head, uncovering his sculpted chest and you swear your mouth waters at the sight. He’s always cut an imposing figure in his uniform, but seeing the broadness of his chest unobscured, is a sight that you swear you will remember for the rest of your days.

Returning to kissing you, Thrawn’s hands move to the hem of your shirt, only breaking the kiss to pull it over your head. “Bat…” he breathes as he looks at your body, his voice husky as he runs his hands up and down your sides. You begin kissing along his jaw down to his neck, further down until you reach one of his nipples, sucking it into your mouth causing him to let out a curse in Cheunh as his head lolls back against the hull of the shuttle.

“S-sensitive… Very sensitive” he grunts out and you smile as your mouth continues teasing his nipples, moving from one to the other as he moans and begins bucking his hips up, grinding against you. His hands move to your chest, his fingers pinching and playing with you as you continue teasing him, angling yourself so that you can begin to unfasten his pants when he reaches a hand down to stop you.

“I do not know… what my stamina will be like I am already very-” he pauses as if Minnisiat is eluding him “worked up” his voice is strained, and his eyes are hooded as you look up at him.

“Don’t worry… let me make you feel good” you whisper to him before kissing along his neck again. He removes his hand and allows you to unfasten his pants, bringing them and his briefs down his thighs far enough for you to retrieve his large swollen length. He follows suit, his hands moving to quickly remove your pants as you awkwardly shift so that you can fully remove them.

You take a moment to admire him, he looks similar to a human cock, you think to yourself, besides the colour some ridges that look like they will feel absolutely divine when he’s finally buried inside of you. He fidgets slightly under your scrutiny “am I… to your liking?” uncertainty lacing his tone as you wrap your hand around him.

“Yes… yes very much so. You are… perfect” you reply breathlessly, his cock twitching as you speak, the tip leaking more slick fluid. You use your free hand to grab one of his, bringing his fingers towards your lips, sucking on them, coating them in your saliva before moving them between your legs.

He looks at you curiously as he begins prodding your entrance with his long fingers. “You are very… large… you will need to prepare your partners for your size” his expression turns to one of understanding at your explanation as he slowly works a finger into you causing you to gasp as he moves it in and out of you. As he adds a second finger you rest your head on his shoulder, moaning into his neck when he begins scissoring you open.

He continues fucking you open with his hand, his fingers occasionally brushing your sweet spot making you whine into his neck. He mutters something in his native language as you continue stroking him in time with his fingers moving inside of you, for a man with no experience he is a very quick study, his fingers hitting that spot with more consistency as he drags you agonizingly close to your peak.

Not wanting to finish without him buried inside you, you place a hand over his wrist to stop him. “I’m ready” your voice is breathy and strained and you know you look just as debauched as he does. You reposition yourself so that his tip nudges your entrance, and he gulps in anticipation as you begin to slowly lower yourself down onto him, each ridge sending pleasure shooting through your body.

He moans unabashedly as he enters you, screwing his eyes shut as he mutters to himself in Cheunh. Chest rising and falling with ragged breaths, hissing through clenched teeth as he fully sheaths himself inside you. You begin to move before he places his hands firmly onto your hips.

“N-no… if you move I will…” he takes a deep breath “a moment to control myself please…” his accent coming through stronger as he struggles with the sensations combined with speaking in a language both of you will understand. Not trusting your own voice, you nod as you pause your movements, content to just feel him throb and twitch inside you.

After a while he gives you a small nod to proceed. You move slowly, not wanting to overwhelm him as you begin to ride him, resting your head in the crook of his neck, your hands once again tangled in his soft hair. As your movements speed up, he becomes more vocal, his fingers digging into your hips hard enough to bruise as you bounce up and down on his cock, his hips thrusting upwards to meet yours. You feel each delicious ridge of his cock as the both of you move together, the coil in your belly tightening, your moans mingling in the confined space of the shuttle.

His moans become more uneven, pitching higher and you know he’s close. You bring one of his hands between the two of you, getting the hint he begins moving his hand quickly and its exactly what you need for the coil to break as your climax engulfs you.

The tightening and clenching of your muscles cause Thrawn to let out a loud broken moan of your name as he thrusts his hips up into you once more, burying himself as deep as he can, filling you to the brim with his cum as he pants and moans, his cock twitching as he releases.

You remain in his lap, both of you slick with sweat and other various fluids as you come down from your respective highs, catching your breath. You rest your head against his chest, feeling the rumbling of his voice as he speaks “this has been a very enlightening experience… thank you” he gives you a small half smile as he looks down at you and you smile up at him in return.

“I’m glad you enjoyed the lesson” you chuckle before you remove yourself from him, his seed flowing freely down your thighs “but we should clean up before we have to get back no?” you say as you head towards the refresher on shaky legs.

~~~~~

“We did not locate the alleged pirate base senior captain” Thrawn says as he stands before Senior Captain Ziara in her office on the Parala hands clasped behind his back. She gives him a small smile and looks down at his report “That’s not a problem mid captain, I’m sure you and the pathfinder managed to find ways to keep yourselves entertained” Ziara’s smile widens as she watches Thrawn blush and shift on his feet.

“I’m not blind Thrawn, I see how the two of you look at each other” she stands up from her desk “I’m glad, I was sick to death of the two of you making eyes at each other on my bridge” Ziara chuckles as she walks past her blushing mid captain “come on, lets go to the mess, I’m sure you’re hungry after your… mission”

@ilovestarwarsmen725@ele-millennial-weirdo@al-astakbar@69fandom-fanatic69@blackmonitor@khapikat222@novemberblueskyink

[jweekgoji]

Yandere!Five x Reader x Yandere!Lila (Ghostface AU)

a/n: happy Halloween btw, gonna do my request soon again.

warnings: dark/yandere content, mentions of killing people, some violence, no good ending for reader, Lila and Five is the best frenemies, my small headcanons about Lila&Five&The Comission, some threats, swearing, Lila is flirty, Five is the grumpy little old guy.

Lila and Five are already quite an interesting duo, but put these two together and add a little more craziness and these two will be the last ones you want to run into.

I mean, the two of them worked as assassins, they have a hell of a lot of experience in this, their childhood was fucking terrible and they also have superpowers?? what are you even supposed to do?

when they have to work together, they are very good. just think, Five can easily guess that Lila is hiding something, like being the reason why your recent boyfriend suddenly disappeared. would anyone else notice? I don’t think so. 

and there’s Lila. she’s annoying him and getting on Five’s nerves a little too much, Five already have to deal with another 6 mentally unstable adults that still acting like a kids and add to this all Lila? that always trying to strike him back because of their past? this man is done. 

Lila may try to make fun of Number Five all the time, but she’s not stupid. 5 is literally a legend for the entire Commission. Yes, he is the founder, but above all, he is one of the best assassins in the entire timeline, for everyone he should be an example of exactly how to do their job properly. Lila hates Five for killing her parents, and of course she spent a lot of time dreaming about how exactly she would get revenge on him. but if you plan to kill someone, then you need to know them better.

“Ha! I know it has to be you, little psycho,” Lila smirks proudly, her hands on her hips as she looks at him. “I mean, it`s easy to guess.”

Five rolls his eyes in annoyance, turning away from this crazy woman. “I’m glad you finally found the opportunity to show off your intellect, Lila,” he says, pinching the bridge of his nose. “But right now I’m busy if you didn`t notice.”

“Why won’t you just ask for help, huh?” she shrugs, sitting down on the dresser.

“What?” he frowns slightly, looking confused.

“Ask for help,” she says again. “Do you want me to spell that? A-s-k f-o-r h-”

“I don’t understand why would you even need to get into this mess and helping me.” he wipes sweat off his forehead, sighing softly when takes a quick look at her before going back to work.

She pauses for a moment, thinking about his words. Lila would never get into something like that for Five Hargreeves, no, never in her life. But she would never loose the opportunity to prove something to Number Five, who has so many fans inside the Commission that it’s makes Lila sick.

“So do you need my help or not?” now she is the one who sounds annoyed, but rather offended. “I won’t ask twice, jumpy guy.”

“You know what?” his gaze softens and he tosses towards Lila a sponge with a pair of rubber gloves. “You can actually be very helpful sometimes. Now come on, we don’t have much time until they come home.”

Lila catches everything quickly, smiling widely again, after which she jumps off the drawer and walks towards Five while wearing gloves. She accidentally step on a pool of blood on the floor, and her boots leaving several red dirty prints on a perfectly clean surface.

“Oops.”

“I just fucking ended cleaning here-”

They get along well with each other when it is good for both of them, but not when it comes to the fact that they have to share you. No, don’t even think that they will somehow find a way where they are not going to kill each other, as soon as one of them cross the line and decides to find their own separate way with you and only with you. If Lila will try to steal all your attention from Five - bad for her. If Five will try to do the same - bad for him. It also means problems and for you.

So basically we doing this cool “the one who makes the calls” and “the one who kills” trend. Well, if we going to compare Lila and Five with Billy and Stu there is no doubt that Lila will be as Stu and Five will be as Billy.

Lila can do both roles, not gonna lie, but she really loves those long and intimidating, somehow silly conversations with you while talking on the phone, her cute attempts to scare you, make you tremble and run around the house trying to close all the windows and doors, and it’s actually makes her laugh, especially knowing how useless it is , because come on, we all know that 5 can just teleport wherever he wants and Lila can just… do the same.

Lila sometimes forget that calling at your phone in the middle of the night is an attempt to make you afraid so you’ll be more pliable and when you’re on the verge of going crazy, because almost every day you hear two different types of voices that calls you, one of which threatens to make you suffer if you continue to ignore them, and the second flirts with you, only to say something weird and scary at the end.

You’ve been wearily watching some random horror movie on your TV screen. In fact, you had already lost the countdown a long time ago, you were tired and wanted to go to bed, your eyes were barely open, but part of your waking consciousness could distantly hear the lines from the movie.

An unexpected phone call makes you jump up and wake up immediately, picking up your phone, only to find out it was some unknown number. You decide to answer this call and put the phone to your ear, expecting to hear someone’s familiar voice, thinking that it could be your friends who wanted to prank you or one of your work colleagues but from a different phone number.

“Hello?” you speak uncertainly.

“Hello, who is this?” the voice asks.

“Who are you trying to reach?” you shift slightly in your seat, rubbing your eyes.

“I don’t think it matters now, doll,” the unknown chuckles softly. “You have a pretty cute voice by the way.”

You scoff at their comment, finding this amusing how they tried to flirt with you. “Uh, thanks. But I’m kinda busy with something right now like watching a movie.”

“Is that so?” the stranger pauses briefly before continuing to speak. “What kind of movie?”

You hum softly and tilt your head slightly towards the TV, trying to remember what you watched. “It’s Halloween, so I’m definitely watching scary one.”

You can hear the voice of an unknown person laughing softly at your sarcastic response.

“You’re must be really brave little one to watch this movies all alone at night, huh?” the person asks. “So what’s your favourite scary movie, pretty?”

You yawn in the first half of the person’s sentence and don’t really paid attention to their words, stretching slightly, trying wake up fully and concentrate on the dialogue again, taking the cassette, reading the title of the film. “Uh…Saw, I think?”

“Good choice, this one was so bloody,” you hear their cheering. “So, you have a boyfriend?”

A slight smile appears on your face and you rise from the couch, walking towards the kitchen, still holding the phone in your hands.

“No, I don’t have one,” you answer, playing with a strand of your hair. “Why, you wanna ask me on a date?”

“Maybe I want,” they say and you sighs softly at their attempts. “But you still didn’t told me your name, love.”

“Why do you need to know my name?” you ask nonchalantly as you pop a bag of popcorn into the microwave.

“Because I want to know at who I’m looking right now.”

You freeze in place. It could have been a simple prank in an attempt to make you scared, but still, it really worked on you. “What did you say?”

“I said that I really want to know with who I’m talking-”

Lila doesn’t have time to finish and you immediately end the phone call, which makes her almost break the device she is holding in her hands.

“Damnit!” she swears, sighing loudly in displeasure. “This time was so damn close!”

Lila’s complaints makes Five smile smugly to himself and that only irritates her more. Five leans against the wall with his shoulder as if he was already know how this would end up.

“Don’t smile like that, you little shit,” she grumbles, trying to call you again and again, but you seem to just ignore her attempts.

“Congratulations, Lila,” he shrugs carelessly. “You screwed up again.”

Five will at first be someone you hardly notice when he does his job. Some idiot bothers you? Disappeared. Are you bullied at school? They are all gone. Is someone too close to you and you show genuine interest in them? I’m sorry, but they won’t call you back after the date. Don’t worry, you can cry in the shoulder to your best friends like Lila or Five who will be always here for you. Huh, what a coincidence…

I think Lila will often act as the one to make the calls, as she seems to be the only one who is successful in this and can hold a dialogue with you for more than a couple of minutes. Unlike Number Five. But he really wants to try talking to you. He craves it and he wants to prove that he can make the calls just as well as the dirty work like killing. He would use this as opportunity to tell you everything that he wouldn’t tell you if he was in front of you right now and you would know the real identity of the person who is always calling you so late. But he really just melts because of your sweet voice and he can listen to it for hours while you tell him about your day or plans for the future, Five is a serious and professional man who does his job perfectly. He knows that he has his own work and it needs to be done even though he really wants to forget it all and rest for some time.

“Stop calling me, you weirdo,” you say tiredly.

“Don’t even dare to hang up on me,” 5 warns you, but you immediately end the call despite his words.

As soon as you end up the call, Five, on the other side, closes his eyes and sighs, trying to calm down, them he calls you again. You barely had time to go to bed when you heard the melody of your phone and you had to pick up the device again. You really wanted like to yell at the person who was bothering you, but you are immediately interrupted.

“No, you listen here. Hang up on me and I’ll gut you like a fish, do you understand me?” he threatens you and the tone of his voice makes you tremble. “Now, do you think you can handle that for me, dear?”

I don`t think that any of them would go to kill some person in front of you. Firstly, they don’t want to hurt you, they go too far just by harassing you with calls, but it’s more of a warning, like “don’t go with that guy because he’s not good enough for you” or “you should stay at home tonight and don’t go to that party”. Yes, Ghostface most often calls victims to scare them and then kill them, but they will never touch you. And I also don’t think that they will harm any of your family or just your friends, only those who can potentially / already harm you, otherwise they warn you about it. You really should listen to those scary people that call you or be more attentive when you look out the window and notice a mysterious figure in a black costume in your backyard with those silly scream mask. you have two pairs of eyes that follow you everywhere and they can clearly see more than you so keep it in mind. but yeah, I think Lila sometimes really can just make some calls to you just for fun so Five need to bonk her time to time to remind her job.

[animangaandchillsblog]

He was sunshine, I was midnight rain

Taylor Swift

A drabble about Hinata, an accomplished artist and actress who loves her job so much and Naruto who is foolishly in love with her. This drabble is inspired by Taylor Swift’s song, Midnight Rain.

Hinata:  My town was a wasteland Full of cages, full of fences Pageant queens and big pretenders But for some, it was paradise

Hinata describing Naruto:  My boy was a montage A slow-motion, love potion Jumping off things in the ocean I broke his heart cause he was nice

“Hinata! You... you look differ... different today. In... in a good way, of course!”

“Hey. So... I was thinking if you received my text yesterday?

“Here. Just, wear my coat. You’re shivering.”

Every day, I am greeted with this sunshine boy. His baby blue eyes gazing at me close enough to see my inner dark soul. The blond curls moving fluidly as he makes his way to me. The same small, hollow indentation in his check as he grins.

You might think I’m lucky, because a perfect guy like him exists and he loves me.

That’s right. Out of all people in this so-called one of the biggest entertainment company, he loves me. Even though I didn’t pay full attention to his golden treatment. He’s always there, with his cordial demeanor. Waving at me, asking me questions as if he’s my prince charming.

The thing is, I’m not a princess and prince charming should be paired with a princess, one that possess the same qualities as him. We’re too different.

I’m not a princess. I’m a witch. If he is a sunshine, I am midnight rain. He is a hero but I am anti-hero.

He fixes other people’s wretched souls. He owns a bright smile that can melt other girls’ heart and made them forget their problems. He has magic; the ability to radiate warmth and comfort people. He doesn’t get into fights, because he has the natural power to stop them with his kindness. He kills people with kindness.

I don’t fix other people’s souls. I let them be. I hate physical and emotional intimacy. I love being alone. I am a hard worker and the mere reason why I was employed in this company is because of my talents. I can sing and act excellently. Those are my talents, not surrounding myself with people and mend their broken hearts. I fight back when people want to drag me into the great war. I don’t kill people with kindness. I kill them mercilessly by proving my talent.

Yet, despite my insouciant response, he stays there.

He rejected some offers to act in films and movies, because he wanted to have enough rest but I kept on working. Making albums, accepting interviews and acting. I got sick most of the time, but I carried on.

I don’t even know if this is a relationship because it started with a small chat while we were meeting for a movie, we acted in. Then, it transcended to daily greeting. He greeted me first so I greeted back. We became friends after that with him, trying to close the gaps between us and me, straying away.

There was this one night. It’s hard to describe it because it’s not like any other nights where we just casually strolled on the streets and made small conversations. He kissed me under the lamp street. It was just a slow and sensual one.

I kissed him back because he deserved it after everything, he did to change me. Bridging the gaps between us.

“You kissed me back because you thought, I deserved it right?”

I tried to search for the kindest reason behind my stupid wrongdoing but I couldn’t so I nodded my head.

“But why, Naruto? Why did you have to keep on chasing me? I’m an empty, soulless person,” I asked, while trying to search for the right answers in his eyes.

“Because you need me as a distraction. I want you. I’m drawn into you. You’re not an empty, soulless person.” He chuckled, placing a few strands of hair beneath my right ear.

“I... what do you mean I’m not like what I described myself previously?”

“You’re blushing right now.”

He always surprised me with his sweet words. I looked away, trying to hide my emotion.

He chuckled again.

“You want me but your goals are more important to you. If I fell ill someday and at the same time, you receive something that you’ve been working hard to achieve, will you still rush to the hospital and find me?”

I looked up and the same summer blue eyes bore through me. His hair is a crown of burnished gold and somehow, he looked serious today compared to when he spent time with me. I had always attracted to his manner; his easy smile, open laugh and vibrant energy of youth. He is a midday riddance, a refuge of the slippery color of my heart.

Like always, I could not answer the question. The kind of question that prompted me to choose him or my goal. He is too good but I used him as my painkiller and he doesn’t deserve any of this.

At the same, I don’t understand why my heart always yearns for him. Maybe I’m too lonely and when another foreign energy seeped into my bare soul, it meshed well. It feels effervescent to be cared. It’s like you were so used to feel lost and hungry and when you found a magic fridge which gave you any food you wanted; you couldn’t stop.

The thing is... it’s dangerous.

It’s dangerous, because the more you eat, the higher the tendency of the fridge to break down and soon, you’ll waste away again, searching for something more valuable because you can’t decide what you’ve always wanted.

I scanned his face, the slight furrow where his brows go in and up, the set of his lips, the way he rubs one palm as if working out an ache, even as he leans forward, and in his attention wholly on me. Deep down, I knew I’m going to break his heart one day because of how selfish I am.

Because the truth is, he already knew the answer and it’s going to kill him inside.

Naruto laughs. “Are you making a study of me for your next album?”

I snort. “No. Anyway, let’s go. I don’t want to answer your cringy question.”

He didn’t hesitate. He simply followed me and caught up to my pace easily. Like a shadow and without even noticing his move, a right hand was wrapped around my waist. The distance from the street café we always hung out to my house is just 15 minutes’ drive away. He always invited me to dine out whenever he’s free but I only joined him when I need a distraction.

I’m working on a new album and I want it to be better than the previous one. I wanted to change genre because I’ve been singing pop rock and pop country for 4 years. This time, I’m trying to create an indie album, rooted from my interest towards fairy tales and mythologies. I had been trying to reach out to the director of Daybreak drama because I really want to act as the female lead. Daybreak is actually adapted from a best-selling novel and I need that role as my carrier boost. I’ve been working on some projects too and my schedule’s fully booked.

I’ve cancelled today’s interview because I’ve exhausted my body and mind. Usually, other people would take a break by going to the bar but here I am, searching for this man.

I sank into the comfort of his broad figure, leaning myself closer.

Walking with Naruto feels like a life in still frames. Moments like polaroids. Like paintings. Like flowers pressed between the pages of a book. Perfectly preserved.

As we arrived in front of my apartment, he kissed my forehead. I breathed in the clean and invigorating smell of his cologne.

“Good night. I hope I’m still in your mind.”

I smiled. Without turning my back as always, I open the door of my apartment. Fishing my phone out of my bag, I check texts. One text catches my attention. It’s Ino, my manager.

Hinata, you received an offer to become the female lead of a drama. It’s a drama adapted from a best-selling book entitled Daybreak. You HAVE TO accept this. Well, at least think about it. It’ll be a perfect career advancement for you.

On my way to the lift, I texted her back.

Come to my place. ASAP. We need to talk.

And just like that, the idea of this dreamy-looking man who consistently showers me with his love and care extricated from my the complexities of my mind.

[negasonicimagines]

Afraid / Part 2: An Impossible Reunion

You offer Wade a gift in the form of a test, and he finds out one of the disturbing ways in which your pasts intertwine.

It’s not long, maybe a week, before Wade receives his first assignment. He realizes then and there that you’re either not as informed as you portrayed yourself to be, or you’re testing him. 

It’s her. He didn’t even know she was alive. After the bridge collapsed, he’d assumed… Well, you know what they say about the way assume is spelled. 

It takes another week to get used to her rhythm, the places she goes and the people she meets up with. It’s supremely easy, combining his experience and your advice. He takes her out with a tranquilizer dart, using one of the neutralizer collars someone must’ve stolen from the ice box to make sure she can’t fight back once she awakens. 

He pulls her out of the trunk and slings her over his shoulder, taking her along to the basement entrance. You meet him there, a different sort of smile on your face than the one he saw before. 

You telekinetically lift her from his shoulder and the two of you proceed to a room he didn’t encounter when he was exploring before. 

A retinal scan unlocks it. 

“What-”

A look silences him, before you plop her down in the chair at the center. You approach her, taking the collar off.

“Dude, she’ll…”

“Will she?” you ask. 

Angel’s eyes open, and she grins back at you. 

“I was wondering when you’d come for me. You finally got him. Good for you. What do you want to know?”

You laugh, but once again, it’s not the laughter he’s heard from the last week: not the chuckle you gave when he made that pun about eating tacos, nor the surprised giggle when he joked about evisceration. It’s almost soundless, a clicking from your throat as your sick smile grows wider.

“You have nothing of significance to offer me but your death.”

Angel tries to get up, but she’s forced back down by an invisible force. 

“You little bitch!” Angel shrieks. “This is all your fault! It’s all your fault! We were trying to make another you! That’s why-!”

She chokes, squirming in her seat like she’s trying to struggle out of something that isn’t there. 

“I know,” you reply. “That doesn’t change the past, though, does it? That doesn’t make me the one who… Well, you know. You were there. A participant. How does it feel to drown?”

She coughs, taking deep breaths.

“Fuck you.”

“I want every password and code phrase you know. Now.”

Angel lists off a string of words and numbers. You nod. 

“Good. Now, I want you to apologize to my friend for… Well, everything. And I want you to mean it.”

Angel’s eyes widen like she’s had some sort of epiphany. 

“Oh god… Oh, god, I- I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, I- Why? How…”

She stops. Your clicking laughter resumes. 

“Jesus fucking Christ, you’re a monster. Thank fucking God we didn’t succeed. Just kill me now, get it over with.”

“No. I wanna make you lick his boots first,” you say. “Come on. Do it. It’s gonna hurt if I make you.”

Angel’s face contorts from anger to disgust. She gets out of the chair, getting on her hands and knees and crawling closer. Suddenly, she reaches out for your ankle. Wade jumps, but you don’t. 

He hears something like the sound of spaghetti breaking. 

It’s her hand. 

“Try again,” you tell her in a whisper. Her arms and legs jerk as she crawls closer, now forced by an unseen hand. Yours. Her face is shoved into his steel-toed shoe. “Oops.”

She licks it, cringing. Then the other. 

You throw her back into the chair. She turns to him, and it’s then he realizes that he’s actually present, not just watching these events play out.

“This is all because of her. Everything that happened to-”

“Blaming me for what you did to my father won’t change your fate, Christine. It’ll only make it more painful.”

“But it’s not just your father, is it? How’s… What do you call him, Teddy?”

Your hands shake. 

“Who’s Teddy?” Wade asks. 

“She didn’t tell you? He’s-”

“Shut up!” you scream. 

Angel explodes. No, she’s vaporized, specks of her covering the room, you, and Wade. 

You catch your breath, recollecting yourself before hosing off the walls and floor. This happens often enough for the room to be equipped with one?!

“Who’s Teddy?” Wade asks again.

“He’s- He was one of yours. He was just a little kid. They- They gave him cancer through radioactive exposure, to try to… Well, make another you. All I could do was make him comfortable.”

“Fuck,” Wade sighs. 

“And you weren’t there. You should’ve been there, but you weren’t.”

“I didn’t know.”

“I know. I’ve been trying really hard not to be angry with you for it. Even Colossus and Eloise didn’t know why we were pushing so hard, mutates aren’t usually a top priority for this place. But we needed you. We needed you so badly and you-” You stop the second your voice cracks, covering your mouth. Your shoulders tremble. 

“I’m sorry. It’s… Thank you. For taking care of him, and the others, I’m sure he’s not the only one who went unclaimed.”

“Oh, you have no idea,” you reply, sounding angry again, but that’s better for him than crying. Or throwing up, he’s not sure which one you were about to do. “It’s late. You should get to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow and go over the report with you then.” 

“Levi…” he trails off. It feels like something’s been left unsaid. “You should get some sleep, too.”

“I’ll see what I can do. I’m sorry for not letting you kill her. It was supposed to be a welcome present, but I ruined it. I’ll find you someone else, okay? You might not recognize them as well, but they’ll be from your facility.”

“You are just the sweetest, aren’t you? No worries, peaches. Did I pass your test?”

“With flying colors.”

Xavier had you enrolled in piano lessons as soon as he caught you admiring the grand piano in the den. Eloise’s parents had her playing the bass as soon as she could walk, but once she started caring about music more than her grades, they took her out of lessons. 

They couldn’t stop her here, though. No one could stop either of you. The two of you had taken a liking to finding pieces to learn and play together. 

Miss Frost suggested you play in the talent show. You were apprehensive, but Eloise goaded you into it. 

“How different is it from swimming? It’s just a different kind of performance,” she said. You admitted she was right, but you would’ve even if she was wrong. After all, it was something she wanted to do with you. 

And anything she wanted to do with you, she could. You knew how you felt. You knew what you thought. Being such close friends from the beginning of your time there, it was fun at first, having a secret from her. Then, it became painful. There was no way she felt the same way, or else she wouldn’t hold your hand and hug you so casually. 

Sometimes, though, you wished you could read minds like Miss Frost seemed to think you could. She said with practice you’d be able to, but whenever you tried, it was just noise. You couldn’t focus on any person in particular. 

You would’ve given anything to know what she thought as she caressed the strings with her bow, playing along with your masterful strokes of the keys. It was nice to be called a prodigy again, this time with a skill that couldn’t be discredited. 

It was nice to be with her, making beautiful music. It was. 

The next morning, Wade happily strolls to Office D with a box of donuts. 

“You should tell him, Levi. You said we have the right to know whatever we want about you. It’s a good rule, you should honor it.”

“No, he has to ask. And by the time he asks, he’ll already hate me.”

“That’s not fair! You don’t know that!”

“I do! You’re not him, stop pretending to be.”

“I’m not pretending to be him, I’m trying to help you, you fuckin’ brat!”

“Fuck you! You don’t know anything about me!”

“Then maybe you’re right. Maybe to know you is to hate you.” 

Logan sneezes, and Wade decides that the break in conversation is the best time to enter. 

“Okay, so, I was thinking: I’m Blossom, you’re Buttercup, and… Bubbles, why are you crying?”

“She’s crying?” Logan asks, turning around. “What the fuck? No, she isn’t. She’s just staring at me with that same creepy smile she always has.”

“You’re immune to my powers, Wade. In the future, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t point things out if you don’t think anyone else can see them. You’re used to that, aren’t you?”

“Is that what you were supposed to tell me? Oh, I bet you were gonna ask me to be your BFF! Because if I can love you without you using your powers, then maybe El-”

“I can still control the air around you,” you inform him after giving him an uppercut with the wind to shut his mouth. 

“So, you really are crying?” Logan asks. “I thought with my bones being plated with adamantium, advanced mind control like that wasn’t possible.”

“Went through your nose. That’s why you sneezed.”

“I wasn’t trying to make you cry. You have a right to your own decisions, even if they piss me off. It’s your life. I’m sorry, kid.”

“All’s forgiven. Being able to basically have whatever I want, whenever I want does tend to make me act spoiled sometimes.”

“Nah, you… You had a point, too.” 

“Now, donuts?” Wade offers. He gets the feeling that there was more at stake in that conversation than you two are letting on, but he’s content to watch this play out. It’s nice to be a part of a team again. 

“Absolutely,” you agree, smiling. He doesn’t find it as unnerving as he did upon your initial meeting, nor as creepy as it was last night. It’s something peaceful. “Thanks for picking these up. It’s been a while since I’ve had one.”

“Same here,” Logan agrees as they each take a donut from the box. 

Wade plops down on the loveseat next to Logan. 

“So, uh… The report?”

“Right. Angel did give me a couple of new passwords, or maybe really old ones that we didn’t have before… That might not sound like much— it really might not be —but I’ll have to see which databases we can access with them and if she had access to any files other users didn’t.”

“Uh, am I… Can you make him sneeze again?”

“You can talk about anything that happened last night. As long as you use common sense and keep things vague when needed, you can speak freely. The harder we try to keep this under wraps, the more obvious it is we’re hiding something.”

“Okay, so, why didn’t we hold her for ransom? Get more info from somebody else, or get them to release some subjects to us?”

“We’ve tried that before. Most of their assets are worthless to them once they’ve been compromised. Unfortunately, we’re doing them a favor by killing them. Weapon X and the assets.”

“Gotcha.” 

“Wait, you guys killed somebody last night?” Logan asks.

“…Yeah? It’s kinda what we do here. At least on my end. We can’t all go charging off on rescue missions like you. Once Wade’s trained up, he can take my place and I can fully take Datamine’s, instead of trying to do all three jobs at the same time.”

“So, last night… You did that on your own, normally?”

“Mhm,” you confirm, typing on the computer. 

“And I’m guessing Datamine was a lot better at hacking than you.”

“Mostly. As the name implies, she instinctively knows exactly where to look for whatever information she’s needing. Why do you ask?”

“I think what Wade’s getting at is that you were doing the job of three for a while due to the old me kicking the bucket, and I should go easier on you,” Logan interjects. 

“You give me too much credit. I’m just nosy!” Wade chirps. “But, wait, that wasn’t your first time? I thought we had something special…”

“Gross,” you scoff. “No. Like I told you, I let people down. I was supposed to be a shining example of a powerful mutant that would never ever hurt anybody…” you trail off with a bittersweet smile at your own joke. “But that didn’t quite work out.”

“It was cool, though. The way she just went poof in a cloud of bloody mist, I mean, wow!”

“Thanks, I guess,” you reply, still typing. 

“Alright, so no assignments for us today, little swimmer?”

“Nope, check back later. Probably tomorrow.” You stop, suddenly realizing what he said. “And don’t ever call me that again.” 

Even Logan laughs. 

“See you then, kid.” 

“Toodles, Bubbles! I’ll leave the donuts for ya so you can get that sugar rush going.”

“Thanks. See you later.”

In the case of Levi versus Sweet Saplings Adoption Agency, the court rules in favor of the respondent. Due to the…” It was all static to you after that until the word “Dismissed.”

You sighed before you got up, trudging towards the one quiet person in the room. She’d been subpoenaed, too, of course.

She looked at you sadly. 

“I am so sorry,” she said quietly. “They seemed so kind and loving.”

“I believe you,” you replied. “And I’m not going to ask you for anything, except… Can you tell me about him? So I can find him one day, when the dust settles? I’ll do everything I can to leave you out of it, and you know by now that I’m capable of a lot. I can’t make you, though, not like I can with other people, so… Please.” 

“I figured you’d want to know. I made this and printed it out, it’s got his name, birthday, some of your relative’s names, things like that.  I don’t have any direct contact information, but I found his social media profiles. They’re private, but maybe he’ll accept your follow request or you can find a way around it.”

She held the paper out to you, but you covered your eyes. 

“Fold it up. I’m- I’m not ready right now.”

“But you just- Okay, sweetheart.”

“Don’t call me that. I don’t know you.”

“Right. I didn’t just do this for him and me, I did it for you, too. I wanted you to have a better life than either of us could give you.”

“I know. I know. But- I don’t…”

“Y/N, come along. We’ll miss our flight,” Miss Frost said, taking the paper from your mother and folding it before tucking it into her pocket. She guided you by the hand out of the courthouse, into a stream of reporters outside.

“The cameras will see me. They might not see me, but the cameras will,” you told her in a hushed whisper. “If I start crying, they’ll see me. And they want to. I can hear them, all of them. It’s disgusting, make it stop, why did you teach me how to hear this?”

Miss Frost made a headline just as big by publicly taking her diamond form for the first time and embracing you, her hands shielding your head. 

Silence at last… But it didn’t last. Nothing does. 

[putyourcigaretteoutonmyback]

────────────────────────────

do i,

one person out of eight billion, on a planet that's bathing in a sea of stars and galaxies,

even matter ?

────────────────────────────

if i was gone it wouldn't affect the world all that much, maybe the people around me, but that's temporary. we all die anyways, don't we? people say life is short yet it feels so, so long despite how the days will pass me by. how ill sit in bed doing the same things, scrolling on this phone, recognizing I should get off, get up, go do something, yet still, I remain unmoved. in my bed. on my phone. and the next days the same, and the next, and the next. my days are all spent the same, what good does living do me, really.

one small person in a universe full of things that have far more potential then ill ever have or live up to. a quit exit would be taking pills, or jumping in the river only a quick drive from me, maybe drown myself in the pool.

ive planned it in my head, sort of anyways. i could sneak out in the middle of the night, walk hours just to find the bridge, to feel the cold railing before ive sunken beneath it. or i could take a ton of pills, though that's not guaranteed. neither of them are i suppose. its funny, really, how suicides something ill always think about. it's the only constant on my mind; even if im happy, out with my friends or family, it lingers. what if this is the last time i see them? the last time they see me. it gets worse when I'm sad. killing myself would take evey feeling ive ever felt away, and id be gone.

i wonder if death is peaceful, i wonder what happens once we die. everyone does, i think, yet it remains unanswered until it happens. tons of reasons to stay, but tons to leave. sometimes i think about how if i do have another life after this, ill never know since it won't actually be me, it won't be my second life because itll be someone completely different. theyll have a different name and face, a different conscience because they won't be me. ill be dead, and someone else will live their life.

when you put it like that, do second lives even exist? if it won't be someone with the same conscience, someone who won't know of your existence, then really, it's just someone else.

“ in my next life I want — ” not your next life, someone else's life. someone completely different. and sometimes, i wanna be something, i wanna be everything, but thatll never be possible. i cant live every life, study every animal whilst learning of every movie ever made. i cant read every book written or listen to all the music that was created on this planet, and that frustrates me.

alot.

i wanna be soft, gentle, but at the same time, i wanna be loud and confident. i wanna get better, to live without the need to criticize my every move, every feature on my body or every word i said, but at the same time, i wanna get sick, be the worst i can be. cut my skin every day, go weeks without food, stop showering, give up, all in the hopes someone notices. to simply let go, to see how it feels, to see if it's any better then trying to be good, to be kind, better then putting in the effort to get out of bed every day, to shower, to do laundry.

back to suicide, i guess. its a sin, isnt it. but is god real? so many things yet to be proven. if god were real, why would he waste time with such insignificant things such as humans, much less care about the sexuality of someone or what they choose to believe in. god is cruel, afterall. someone could spend their whole life being good whilst believing in a religion other than christianity, and guess what. to hell they go. someone who's suffering, who sees suicide as their only way out, to hell. the rapist of someone who committed because of them, they repent and suddenly their a saint. to heaven, of course. what makes someone a good person, really? is if how often they compliment others, is it whether or not they pick up the money someone dropped and return it to them? to be a good person must you believe in certain things, does your past define how good you are? what does it take to be defined as good.

life is unfair, really. you're born into a body, into a family, you're raised, taken care of, unless you arent. the people you're surrounded by as you grow completely dictate who you become, and you cant control that. the body you've got from your mom, the addiction gene from your father, the nose and face you hate from generations before, stuff you get stuck with. you can't change most things, sure, workout, starve, do as you please but that doesn't change the structure of your bones or the people who made you. plastic surgery is expensive, and youll be called fake anyways, so is it worth it? I wonder why it's so hard to like myself.

i really dislike my face, my body, my personality and my voice. the little comments people make, whether they intend to cause harm or to not. they linger within my mind, floating in a thousand other thoughts i have yet to think deeper about. i guess thats what im doing right now. i would be journaling this but my hands hurt, so now whoever sees this gets to decide if they wanna read this. thats probably why i made this account. to rant, to vent.

something i really can't imagine is being anything older then I am right now. being an adult, growing up, it seems so impossible but i know it's not because i see it all around me every day. maybe it's because since from a young age, i always thought id be dead. that id kill myself before the age i am now, before i ever got to be a parent or employee. i still think that, probably, because i still wanna kill myself and its still set in my mind. “ i wont be anything more then what i am right now. ”

maybe its true, maybe its not.

the question “ what do you wanna be when you grow up ” was always hard for me. i never knew, i mean, my childish dreams of being a youtuber were there but that's it. i have no idea who i am or who i wanna be. theres so many jobs, but only so much time to do them, so many careers require a certain course in school, which tends to be expensive. what if i choose something i end up hating? what if im stuck for the rest of my life and miserable. im scared of growing up, of making the wrong choice.

on that topic, sex. its scary, really scary. what if i lose it to the wrong person? of course, i could wait till marriage, but divorce is always a possibility so even then. who would i consider the right person? im not sure. itll probably hurt, what if they see me naked and change their mind? someone seeing me naked is scary. maybe ill just die a virgin, lame, but atleast i won't have to be vulnerable. what if I bleed and he says ew, what if it goes wrong, what if what if what if.

my mind is full of what ifs, always. what if the hangout I have planned goes wrong? what if I get made fun of? maybe I think too much.

thats probably it for now, read it or don't, I wish tumblr said how many words it had. maybe it does, not sure, anyways, bye.

[field4thought]

there's a frog in mom's throat (essay)

In my first memory, I am about three or four years old. My father and mother are lying in their bed and chatting, sometime in either the early morning or late afternoon, judging by the rays of light that had reflected through the floating dust (fairy dust, I thought) onto the floor. My mother was sick, and she sounded funny when she spoke. My father told me she had a frog in her throat. I climbed onto the bed, sat on her stomach (which did not feel to great for her, but was perfectly fine for me), and leaned forward. "Can I see?"

Dad explained that there was not a literal frog, and that it just meant she sounded croaky. I was disappointed.

After that, I don't remember anything for about a decade. When I'm reminded of a particular moment, I see something for a brief instant, but the scene always disappears before it comes into focus. My therapist said it's common for people who have experienced childhood trauma. The person I dated in eleventh grade said maybe that's why I keep repeating the same mistakes. All my mother had to say was, "We'll work on it." We did not, in fact, work on it.

I think my mother regrets that she was not perhaps the best mother she could have been. No, let me rephrase that: My mother was not the best mother, and she regrets it deeply. When we talked about the cuts on my body, she said she felt like she'd "fucked me up" in some way. To be entirely fair, she did - she told me that she couldn't wait until I was eighteen and left the house. I was in first grade at the time.

Now I am eighteen, and we are doing much better. She still says hurtful things, but I can now tell when she means what she says and when she is just snapping because of her untreated mental ailments. It still isn't great when she says she hates me and my siblings and should never have been a mother, but at least I can tell when the chemicals have gone sideways. That's more than I had when I was seven.

We talk now, sometimes. I ask her for advice on how to make friends. She asks me for advice on how to relate to her other teenagers. She understands me the most out of all of us kids, and that's because we're so alike. Nobody else in my family could read an entire book composed of one guy's essays like I am right now. Nobody else really appreciates getting up before the sunrise and taking a mug of tea into the woods. I am definitely her child, even if I don't carry her blood.

It's odd, the relationship I have with my mother. Oftentimes, I am afraid to speak to her about something, so I wait a week or two until we are alone in the car and doing an Uber Eats order to tell her things. "I'm cutting" is something I know she never wanted to hear from her children, especially followed by the word "again."

What really started this openness between us was a night in early October of my senior year in high school. I told her that she had never cared about me, quoting the time in my sophomore year when the first thing she said after hearing from my school counselor that I might be suicidal was about how the counselor had said Harrisen instead of my legal name. That night, three police officers put me in the back of a squad car and drove me to the hospital. I went to a mental hospital instead of wherever people who jump off bridges go.

She visited me once, halfway through my stay. She said almost nothing, and neither did I. Dad mostly updated me on everything that I was missing out on, including his friend from Germany visiting. He came to the States the day I went to the hospital and he left the same day I did. There's probably something symbolic there, about how being suicidal has kept me from the larger world. About how the call of the pills or the chemicals under the sink is louder than the call of new things, and how bed rot can take root in your mind and cause fungus to grow in your brain.

When I came home from the psyc ward, I unloaded a lot of information on her about a week after. I had a friend who had committed suicide. I had been cutting myself in various ways since I was eight. I had been doing most of my self destructive behaviors because it was the only thing that felt good, that gave me a high. Adrenaline is as close as I have been able to get to dopamine for years now.

I still have trouble remembering things. Even this past Christmas and my eighteenth birthday are fuzzy, and that was only two and a half months ago. All I will have of my years is held in my poems, my stories, and my photos. For a while, I would delete everything I came across that was more than a month or two old. Then J stopped doing that. I started paying more attention, finding the one out of focus bird on the rooftop in the corner and thinking, 'oh, that's why I took this.' I read through my poetry document, which at this point has years of my work in it and is over a hundred pages long, and I think about where I've been and who I've been in those places.

Hindsight is a bitch, but she's also my best friend. We're joined at the hip. It's a toxic friendship, but I'm short on friends right now, and I'll take what I can get.

[bisexualbumblebee-writes]

Returning Home Chapter 20- Thorin Oakenshield x OC

Thorin Oakenshield x Bellarose Baggins

Description: Thorin finally recovers from his Dragon Sickness, allowing him to run into battle. Bellarose is more than happy to help him.

Word Count: 2.2k

A/N: I can't believed we're getting closer to the end already! I'm having so much fun writing these series, man. I may go full unhinged and write a third series after this simply because they make me happy. Anyway, enjoy!

Bellarose followed Gandalf and Bilbo through Dale, taking down any Orc they could in the process. Just as they reached a small clearing in the square they were surrounded by a group of Orcs. That fight was much longer as there were more enemies. It felt like it lasted an eternity, but they finally managed to take them down one by one.

“Bella, I want you to go with the women and children,” Bilbo instructed once the area was clear, resting a hand on her shoulder. “You’ll be safe there.” 

“Bilbo, you know I love you,” she started slowly. “But you are completely out of your mind if you believe I will just sit back and let you fight. We are both in this, understand?” The boy sighed softly, but ultimately smiled at her. Just as he opened his mouth to say something, he suddenly looked behind her. 

“Bella look out!” He yelled, pushing her out of the way just as an Orc ran up behind her, ready to kill her. The Hobbits were quick to take him down with their own respective swords as Gandalf caught up with them. 

“Ah, there you are young Hobbits,” he said, sounding relieved. “I almost believed I’d lost you two.” The three of them shared a smile, all happy that they were still alive, but all three of them turned when they heard a trumpet sounding from the distance. Bellarose was surprised to see that it was Bombur blowing the horn as he stood atop the wall of Erebor. 

“Thorin!” Bilbo exclaimed. 

“Thorin,” Bellarose repeated breathlessly. Just seconds later the barricade was smashed outward by a large golden statue. The rocks fell forward and made a rough bridge across the moat just in time for Thorin and his Dwarves to run out through the ranks of the Iron Hills Dwarves. Bellarose could hear Dain beginning to shout to his troops. 

“To the King! To the King!”

“Du Bekâr (To arms)!” Thorin yelled immediately afterwards as he led the Company to form a wedge behind him. The Dwarves hit the Orc ranks with full force, fighting with all the pent up anger and hatred for the species. 

Without a second thought Bellarose ran off, ignoring her brother calling her name. She didn’t quite know where exactly she was going at first, but she realized very quickly that she was heading back to Erebor. Back to Thorin. Because the Thorin that had just charged into battle was the one she’d been waiting to see since they retook the mountain. On the way she stopped short to grab a bow and a quiver of arrows, figuring they may come in handy. She felled any Orc that got into her way until she finally reached Thorin and Dain, who were hugging. Once Thorin pulled away from his cousin his eyes fell on the Hobbit. 

“Bellarose,” he breathed out softly, surprise evident in his features as their eyes met. No longer was that mischievous and menacing glint in his eyes. It was replaced by recognition, and longing for forgiveness. That brought a smile to the girl’s face as she responded. 

“Just Bella,” she answered simply before all but jumping into his arms. They embraced tightly while Dain shielded them. And sure maybe it wasn’t the right time to make up, but they couldn’t bring themselves to care. 

“It’s nice to have you back,” she half joked, pulling away to look up at him. Thorin smiled as his forehead came down to rest against hers. 

“It’s good to be back,” he answered softly. 

“There’s too many of these buggers, Thorin,” Dain suddenly said from beside them, forcing them to finally pull away from each other and face him. “I hope you’ve got a plan.” The Hobbit looked at Thorin after Dain spoke, only to see him looking away. She followed his gaze to the hilltop where Azog stood on one of his wooden machines, signaling orders.

“Aye,” he answered with a nod, a fiery look in his eyes. “We’re going to take out their leader!” While Dain stared at Azog in shock, Thorin strode forward and mounted one of the large goats that Dain’s army had brought.

“I’m gonna kill that piece of filth!”

“I’m coming with you,” Bellarose said, giving the Dwarf no time to protest before she climbed onto the goat behind him. Soon enough Dwalin, Fili and Kili mounted goats of their own and followed Thorin as he charged through the enemies. 

When they made it to the frozen river across from Azog’s stronghold they dismounted and began fighting the enemies that met them. When all of the present enemies were defeated they looked out across the river at the ruins where Azog had been last seen, only to see that there was nothing there aside from his wooden signaling machine. It unsettled Bellarose, and a sinking feeling settled in the pit of her stomach.

“Where is he?” She asked with furrowed brows. 

“Looks empty,” answered Kili optimistically. “I think Azog has fled!”

“I don’t think so,” Thorin shook his head, looking as unsettled as Bellarose felt. “Fili, take your brother. Scout out the towers. Keep low and out of sight. If you see something; report back, do not engage - do you understand?” 

“We have company,” Dwalin interrupted suddenly, eyes behind them. “Goblin mercenaries, no more than a hundred.” Everyone followed his gaze to see that there was in fact a horde of goblins running over the ruins towards them. Thorin looked at his nephews.

“We’ll take care of them, go.” When they didn’t move, Bellarose, who stood closest to Kili, carefully pushed his shoulder.

“Go!” That gave the brothers the push they needed to run towards the river. While they did that Bellarose, Thorin and Dwalin faced the goblin horde, ready to take them on. Just as suspected, it didn’t take them too long to defeat them, and Thorin looked out over the frozen river once again. Before any of them could say anything, Bilbo suddenly appeared from behind them.

“Thorin,” he panted, looking and sounding like he’d run here. The Dwarf in question whipped around, a relieved expression on his face.

“Bilbo!” He and Bellarose exclaimed in unison.

“You have to leave here! Now!” Bilbo said urgently, which concerned the girl. “Azog has another army attacking from the north. This watchtower will be completely surrounded, there’ll be no way out.” Bellarose’s eyes widened and she found herself looking at Thorin. Along with surprise in his expression, the Dwarf seemed to be deep in thought.

“We are so close! That orc scum is in there, I saw we push on,” Dwalin said, but Bellarose shook her head at him.

“No, that’s what he wants. He wants to draw us in.” Her eyes subconsciously found Thorin’s once again just in time for a look of alarmed realization to appear on his face.

“This is a trap!” He exclaimed, which shocked the others, though he didn’t pay attention as he faced Dwalin. “Find Fili and Kili! Call them back!”

“Thorin, are you sure about this?” The Dwarf asked unsurely. Thorin nodded.

“Do it. We live to fight another day.” As they turned to leave, they suddenly heard a drum sound from Ravenhill. Upon turning around, they saw a light appear. Atop the tower was Azog, who was dragging a bloodied Fili behind him. A horrified gasp left Bellarose’s lips as he lifted the Prince higher into the air.

“Thorin, son of Thrain! This one dies first,” the Orc said menacingly. “Then the brother. Then you, Oakenshield. You will die last.” The others could only watch, powerless as Fili yelled at them to run.

“Here ends your filthy blood-” Azog was cut off by Bellarose suddenly notching two arrows into her bow and shooting them at the Orc. The Orc cried out in pain as the arrows landed in his chest. The Hobbit shot a third arrow at him, getting his knee, which caused him to falter. He let go of Fili in the process, the Prince landing in front of the doorway that Kili was watching the interaction from. 

She sighed in relief upon realizing that the Prince was safe before shooking one final arrow into Azog’s other leg. That was finally enough to cause the Pale Orc to lose his balance and fall over the edge with a loud yell. Bellarose sighed softly then watched in relief as Fili and Kili embraced.

Without warning Thorin suddenly rushed across the river to get to his nephews, ignoring Dwalin’s protest. Out of nowhere Azog suddenly rushed out of a lower tunnel and attacked. Bellarose hadn’t realized it, but apparently he’d survived the fall and managed to climb up into one of the tunnels to get to Thorin. She attempted to step towards them to help, but was distracted by the sound of flapping wings. 

Upon turning around she barely had time to duck as were-bats suddenly flew out from the fog. When she stood straight she was met with the sight of Bolg and his forces climbing over the ruins. They rushed towards Bilbo, who stood closest to them, but Dwalin and Bellarose were both quick to charge at them and engage in battle.

That fight felt much longer than the previous ones, and it only got more difficult when Bilbo was knocked out by Bolg while both Bellarose and Dwalin were distracted. By the end of it she’d received a slashed cheek amongst a few other injuries, but thankfully that was the worst of it. She had no idea where Dwalin had gone, but she didn’t think about it as her focus was on Bilbo.

She rushed over to him, landing on her knees beside him. Carefully, she pressed a hand to his chest and lowered her head until it was just above his lips. He was still breathing, which she thanked the gods for. Now that she was sure he was alive, she sat up and carefully began shaking him.

“Bilbo, wake up,” she said urgently. It took a few minutes, but the older Baggins finally managed to open his eyes. He looked around confusedly before his gaze was directed towards the sky. Bellarose had no time to say anything before she suddenly heard a bird’s screech from above. She followed Bilbo’s line of sight, then smiled when she realized that the Great Eagles had arrived.

“The Eagles are coming,” Bilbo muttered with a smile, sitting up. The girl nodded, then looked around before facing him.

“Come, we must find Thorin,” she instructed urgently. They stood in unison and ran towards the river. There, they saw Azog on the ground, motionless with a sword sticking straight out of his gut. The Dwarf in question at the edge of the waterfall, but something didn’t feel right. Bellarose’s brows furrowed in confusion, then her eyes widened when he suddenly fell to the ground, grasping his gut.

“Oh no,” she gasped out, running over to him with Bilbo right behind her. “Thorin!” Just like her brother, she landed on her knees beside him, resting her hand on the hand that covered his gut. The King’s eyes opened weakly, examining both her and Bilbo.

“Bellarose… Bilbo… I’m glad you’re here,” he trailed off slowly, lifting his free hand to Bellarose’s cut cheek. “You’re hurt.”

“Don’t move,” the girl instructed urgently yet gently, taking his hand and lowering it to his side while still keeping a hold on it. “I’ll be fine. You need to lie still.” The Dwarf nodded, then his eyes landed on Bilbo.

“I wish to part from you in friendship,” Thorin muttered softly. His words brought tears to both Bilbo and Bellarose’s eyes as the older Baggins shook his head.

“No. You are not going anywhere, Thorin. You’re going to live,” he said determinedly.

“I would take back my words and my deeds at the gate,” the King said, disregarding Bilbo’s words. “You did what only a true friend would do. Forgive me…I was too blind to see. I’m so sorry that I have led you into such peril.” His plea was followed by him choking, presumably on blood.

“No,” the Hobbit soothed. “No, I’m glad to have shared in all your perils, Thorin - each and every one of them. And it’s far more than any Baggins deserves.” The duo shared a smile before Thorin spoke again.

“Farewell, Master Burglar. Go back to your books and your armchair. Plant your trees - watch them grow,” he paused as he struggled to choke. “If more people valued home above gold this world would be a merrier place.” His gaze fell on Bellarose after that. Upon noticing the tears beginning to silently stream down her face, he squeezed her hand as best as he could (though his grip was growing weaker by the second).

“You were fantastic, Bellarose. I am sorry to have hurt you,” he said softly. “You did not deserve the way I treated you.” Bellarose hiccupped emotionally and shook her head.

“I forgave you the moment you ran into battle,” she whimpered. “You were not in your right mind. It is okay.” The man smiled a little, growing weaker with each passing second. 

“I love you, Bellarose Baggins.”

“And I love you, Thorin Oakenshield,” she whispered back, lifting his hand and pressing a kiss to his knuckles. Thorin gasped deeply, then began to expire.

“Thorin, Thorin, wake up,” Bilbo muttered, trying to shake him awake. “The eagles…the eagles…the eagles are here. Thorin…the eag…” A small sob left Bilbo’s lips, but no noise could come out of Bellarose. She instead just stared down at Thorin, numb.

Tag(s): @atomicsoulcollecto

[mosskelp]

Fixing Trouble in Paradise

Sed and Moss get into their first fight as a couple, and neither of them are sure how to address it. Words left unsaid bubble into words that neither side mean. Sedna leaves to clear his head, and Moss runs out shortly after. 

Warnings: Curse words, arguing, mentions of violence and injury, drinking. 

Angst to Comfort, I can’t write them fighting without tearing up lmao 

"I am so sick of you having to be the hero all the time! I can't breathe without you sweeping in to protect me from the threat of someone even glancing into my direction!" Moss finally snaps, slamming their hands onto the wooden table. Their eyes are squinted in irritation, shoulders squaring up as if to make them bigger. 

Sedna's face drops in surprise, a million emotions swirling through his face. Moss snapped at him? Moss can snap at people? "Excuse me?" He frowns, eyebrows knitting downwards as he stares up at them from their chair. 

"You know exactly what I'm talking about! Every time I'm even talking to a stranger alone, suddenly you're right there and if they overstep a boundary - you don't even give me a chance to speak up for myself before swooping in!" They wave their hands angrily, motioning along with their words before pinching the bridge of their nose.

'Oh. That's what this is about.' Sedna clears his throat, sighing out and smoothing his hands over the front of his shirt. “I just want to protect you, you’re important to me Moss.” A part of him feels offended, couldn’t they see that? He was just looking out for them. “I know how much you hate inconveniencing people and making others uncomfortable! I’m helping you grow a bit more thick skin.” 

“I can’t grow a thick skin if you’re always protecting me! You aren’t giving me any room to grow and find my own footing! I spent years on that island alone with just the elements- I think I can handle some old man asking if I’m fucking single!” They’re mostly rambling now, hands flapping around as they speak. Moss’ throat burns, frustration welling up behind their eyes. They hate getting confrontational, getting snappy. It makes them sick and shaky, something they’re putting all their willpower to not show right now. 

Sedna’s eyebrows furrow, mouth twisting into a frown. “I obviously ‘swooped in’ because you were uncomfortable! It didn’t look like you’d be standing firm anytime soon.” He stands, slamming his hands on the table in front of him slightly. Moss jumps and he cringes a bit. 

“That’s what I mean though! You always assume that I’m not going to and swoop in before I can stand up for myself! You literally cut me off just as I was starting to tell him to back off!” Moss starts to tear up a bit. They didn’t feel like he was listening to them. 

Sedna finds himself growing angry, fingers twitching as his mouth settles into a thin line. Moss feels themselves gnaw at their lip with anxiety at his glare. “Well I’m sorry,” His voice is condescending and lilts into something bitter before he continues speaking. “But do I need to remind you that someone here almost fucking died, all because they didn’t want to ‘inconvenience us?!’” He watches Moss turn their face to the ground and scoffs. They feel guilty and he can tell. The same feeling starts to ebb at his gut, twisting around, but now that he’s started he can’t stop. “You set us off course for weeks, made us all worried sick - I didn’t sleep for a week! But you just didn't want to go home!” Sedna watches the way their lip trembles and draws into himself for a minute. The way that Moss just stands there silently makes him anxious and irritated at the same time. “Are you going to say anything?” He takes a step towards them, but they step back. He flinches. “Moss?” They don’t move away as he gets closer, but he frowns at the way they’re shaking. “I’m - I’m going to go take a walk for a bit while we’re in port. I think we both need the space.” Sedna doesn’t want to leave. He wants them to say something - anything - but he knows pushing them to talk right now isn’t the answer. He looks at them before he leaves the room, hand lingering on the doorframe as the two of them stand frozen still. And then he leaves. 

As soon as Sedna closes the door Moss begins to break down. He was right - he may have overstepped a little bit but he had good, genuine intentions. All they did was clam up on him, though. Go silent. “Fuck.” They curse, hands reaching up and tangling into their hair. “Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.” They lean over, tears falling from their face. Their hands twist in their hair, stinging their scalp as they pull on it slightly. Moss wants to leave. They feel like they have to leave. They take a sharp inhale of breath, messily stumbling over to the door and peeking out the small window. 

Moss watches as Sedna leaves the ship, and they frantically look around for Koya, Aion, Neth or Keebia. It seems like they were the last two on the ship. They shakily reach their hand up and pull the door open. The sea air hitting their face calms them down a bit, albeit it stings their watery eyes. They can’t be here right now. Their steps are slow on the ship deck, worried about anyone seeing their current state, or getting caught. What were they worried about getting caught for? They shake their head at the thought, stepping off the boat. Moss reaches the ground. And sprints to the closest forest they see. 

Sedna lightly smacks himself as he walks to a nearby tavern, angrily grumbling at himself. He left impulsively, but he knows when Moss clams up they just need some time before they’re verbal again. His walking is faster than normal, and before he knows it he’s in front of the tavern where everyone else already met up. The seafolk sighs before he opens the door, immediately giving a lazy wave to Koya and Aion. They seem to pick up on his mood immediately. “Trouble in paradise?” Koya scoots into the booth to make room for his captain, raising a hand to ask for another drink. The waiter brings it over wordlessly. 

Sedna sits down with a defeated ‘oomph.’ He sighs, putting his head in his hands “I don’t know - it didn’t feel like a fight, but -” 

“But it was a fight.” Aion sips from his drink, eye’s closed. “Just not a nuclear one.” 

“Yeah.” His head makes a dull ‘thud’ noise as he drops it on the table. “I just got mad. I should have just listened to them instead of being offended.” 

“So they said something that also hurt your feelings.” Koya hums out, flicking him on the head. “And you stormed off instead of communicating that.” He rolls his eyes as Sedna groans and covers his head. “It sounds like you both got ahead of yourselves if I’m honest.” 

Sedna’s head darts up as he glares at Koya. “I know that!” He sighs, finally picking up his drink and emptying it in one go. “I just!” He sighs again and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Moss just!” His eyes well up a bit as he gets frustrated. “I got heated too quickly and they flinched. I know that they snapped at me first but did I really have to hit the table like that?” His head hits the wood below him again. Koya and Aion both sigh, looking at each other. 

Aion pats Sedna on the head, looking at the deflated seafolk. “Maybe you should just keep some space for now. You both got upset, but you’re both mortal. People make mistakes.” 

“What if I scared them away?” Sedna’s voice is muffled, but the two hear him nonetheless. 

Koya lets out a hearty laugh, which soon turns into a slight wheeze as he wipes a nonexistent tear from his eye. “Do you not remember our first overtake? Moss got stabbed and they didn’t cower away.” Aion turns to Koya, making a motion with his hands, but Sedna jolts up as the damage is done. 

“Moss got stabbed??” He knocks over his empty glass, eyes wide. He’s quick to slump into his chair again and his face returns to his hands. “And you two knew?”

The two look at eachother, before Aion looks at Sedna. “What did Moss get mad about?” They place their large hand on Sedna’s arm, keeping their voice calm. 

“He didn’t know?” Koya looks at Aion, who shakes his head. “Oh fuck.” 

Sedna sits there for a moment, and his mouth opens and closes. Like a fish out of water. “They said I was too protective.” 

“And you were mad because?” Aion asks, looking at his friend. 

“Because they hide things to not worry others.” Sedna grimaces, eyebrows furrowing. 

“You two are running loops around each other.” Koya butts in, taking a drink from his cup. “What you’re both doing is leading to the other doing it more. The only way to, y’know,” He makes a rolling motion with his hands, squaring his shoulders a bit. “Get over it, is to talk to each other. Moss may have gone about it the wrong way, I wasn’t there, but you should both be trying to talk it out.” 

“Wow Ko, didn’t take you to be one for relationship advice.” Aion chuckles and elbows him, ignoring the glare sent by the redhead. “Especially with what you got going on with Mr. Fixer Upper.” 

The redhead groans in response, rubbing his temples. “Don’t remind me? He hasn’t talked to me in a week unless it’s work related.” Koya looks up at the now quiet Sedna, reaching out a hand and flicking him on the forehead. “Seriously, though, once you’re cooled down I think you should try and talk to them about it again. They’re perfectly reasonable to talk to, most of the time.” 

Sedna’s mood starts to lighten, and he even musters up a bit of a smile towards the two. He looks between Aion and Koya, though, and quirks his eyebrow. “Trouble in paradise, Ko?” He laughs when Koya just hits him in turn, stealing his glass soon after. 

Moss finally slows down their run, wheezing and leaning next to a tree. The world is spinning to them, every breath is laboured and forced. They lean over and clutch a hand over their heart, twisting their shirt. Once they’ve caught their breath, though, they finally take a minute to take in their surroundings. There’s trees as far as they can see, swallowed by inky blackness beyond that. They can hear water nearby, the sound of water spilling past rocks. Moss doesn’t remember what direction they even came from, though.  They’re lost. “Fuck.” Defeatedly, they press their back against the rough bark and slide down until they’re sitting on the ground. “I probably shouldn’t have ran off like that.” They mumble, curling their knees under their chin. Their fingers fiddle with the grass below them, and they sigh before gently knocking their forehead against their knees. “I shouldn’t have snapped like that, either.” Moss sniffles and rubs their eyes, sighing frustratedly. 

They stand, but wince once they put weight on their right foot. They look down, noticing a nasty looking gash near their ankle. They also finally notice the lack of shoes and groan, throwing their head back dramatically. “Can I just think for once?” They continue to talk to themselves, chastising their actions. “Gods I am so fucking stupid.” Moss starts to walk, limping slightly now. They head towards the sound of the water, taking breathers to lean against trees on the way. “Owowowow.” They complain as they go, finally pushing themselves through a few bushes and coming across the source of water they were looking for. 

They let out a breath at the scene in front of them, taking in the scenery. Hundreds of fireflies blinking about, providing a gentle glow to the area. A small waterfall leading into a large pool of shallow water. Moss’ lips quirk up into a small smile as they take a seat on the ground next to the water, slowly dipping their injured foot in. “Sedna would love this place.” They lean back onto their arms and frown, thinking of their argument from earlier. “I’ll take him on a picnic here as an apology.” They lift up a finger to let one of the fireflies land on it, tilting their head onto their shoulder and sighing. “Yeah. I’ll bring some candles and good wine. That should make up for it.” Once the firefly has finished its short break, Moss lies down with their arms cushioning their head. “Right?” 

Sedna laughed with Koya and Aion, supporting Koya with one arm as they walked towards the ship. The three of them had been talking for a while now, and the redhead had gotten a bit ahead of himself drinking. Sedna still had to talk to Moss, too, and he swallowed at the thought. His heart skipped a beat once he saw the ship. “What if they’re still upset at me?” He stops, causing Koya to drunkenly lurch forward and back. “What if they want to split up?” 

Koya’s mumbling is mostly incoherent, but he’s glaring at Sedna. His face is a bit green, and his eyebags are even more prominent. “Whipped.” 

Aion chokes back a laugh, shaking his head. “I’m sure it’s fine, Cap. Moss is probably worried about the same things you are right now. Just take them out for a meal or something tomorrow.” Their footsteps sound heavy on the plank heading up to the boat, and once they’ve reached the deck they take Koya from Sedna. “Go get em tiger.” 

Sedna snorts as he rolls his shoulder, but he still has that line of worry in his brow. “Thanks, Aion.” He sighs, squaring his shoulders as the two walk off. “You can do this, Sedna.” He lifts his hand up, hesitating before twisting the knob. “Moss? I wanted to apologize for earlier.” He looks into the room and stops, breath hitching into a gasp. “Moss?” He backs up, stumbling and tripping on his feet. Sedna falls on his ass, breathing starting to get a bit ragged as he thinks. They left? His world starts to spin as he just tries to breathe. “I didn’t mean to.” He doesn’t even register that someone is next to him until they put a hand on his shoulder. His head whips around and he makes eye contact with Keebia. “Keebs.” 

The dryad looks a bit worried, as well as mildly shocked, but smiles at the seafolk. “What’s wrong, boss?” Even sitting down, the dryad still dwarfs Sedna. 

“Moss and I got into a fight.” Sedna breathes now that someone is around to ground him, running a hand through his hair. “I got back after cooling my head, but now they’re just,” He sniffles a bit, eye’s burning again. “They’re just gone. What if they left?” He crosses his legs and Keebia shakes his head. 

“Moss probably went for a walk to calm down. They’re a dryad, being with nature is going to calm them down the quickest. It is nighttime, though, so it’s probably a good idea to go find them. They might have fallen asleep somewhere.” Keebia finishes speaking, helping Sedna stand up. Sedna nods and goes to leave, but not before he sees Moss’ shoes by the door. 

Sedna snorts as he rolls his shoulder, but he still has that line of worry in his brow. “Thanks, Aion.” He sighs, squaring his shoulders as the two walk off. “You can do this, Sedna.” He lifts his hand up, hesitating before twisting the knob. “Moss? I wanted to apologize for earlier.” He looks into the room and stops, breath hitching into a gasp. “Moss?” He backs up, stumbling and tripping on his feet. Sedna falls on his ass, breathing starting to get a bit ragged as he thinks. They left? His world starts to spin as he just tries to breathe. “I didn’t mean to.” He doesn’t even register that someone is next to him until they put a hand on his shoulder. His head whips around and he makes eye contact with Keebia. “Keebs.” 

The dryad looks a bit worried, as well as mildly shocked, but smiles at the seafolk. “What’s wrong, boss?” Even sitting down, the dryad still dwarfs Sedna. 

“Moss and I got into a fight.” Sedna breathes now that someone is around to ground him, running a hand through his hair. “I got back after cooling my head, but now they’re just,” He sniffles a bit, eye’s burning again. “They’re just gone. What if they left?” He crosses his legs and Keebia shakes his head. 

“Moss probably went for a walk to calm down. They’re a dryad, being with nature is going to calm them down the quickest. It is nighttime, though, so it’s probably a good idea to go find them. They might have fallen asleep somewhere.” Keebia finishes speaking, helping Sedna stand up. Sedna nods and goes to leave, but not before he sees Moss’ shoes by the door. 

Sedna snorts as he rolls his shoulder, but he still has that line of worry in his brow. “Thanks, Aion.” He sighs, squaring his shoulders as the two walk off. “You can do this, Sedna.” He lifts his hand up, hesitating before twisting the knob. “Moss? I wanted to apologize for earlier.” He looks into the room and stops, breath hitching into a gasp. “Moss?” He backs up, stumbling and tripping on his feet. Sedna falls on his ass, breathing starting to get a bit ragged as he thinks. They left? His world starts to spin as he just tries to breathe. “I didn’t mean to.” He doesn’t even register that someone is next to him until they put a hand on his shoulder. His head whips around and he makes eye contact with Keebia. “Keebs.” 

The dryad looks a bit worried, as well as mildly shocked, but smiles at the seafolk. “What’s wrong, boss?” Even sitting down, the dryad still dwarfs Sedna. 

“Moss and I got into a fight.” Sedna breathes now that someone is around to ground him, running a hand through his hair. “I got back after cooling my head, but now they’re just,” He sniffles a bit, eye’s burning again. “They’re just gone. What if they left?” He crosses his legs and Keebia shakes his head. 

“Moss probably went for a walk to calm down. They’re a dryad, being with nature is going to calm them down the quickest. It is nighttime, though, so it’s probably a good idea to go find them. They might have fallen asleep somewhere.” Keebia finishes speaking, helping Sedna stand up. Sedna nods and goes to leave, but not before he sees Moss’ shoes by the door. 

“They forgot their shoes.” He frowns, picking them up and putting them into a bag. He slings it over his shoulder, before sighing and heading off the boat. 

Moss sighs, wincing as they fully clean out their wound. “How am I supposed to get back like this?” They close their eyes and chew on their lip. “I don’t even know where I am.” They look up at the sky, eyes reflecting the stars as they continue their monologue. “Sedna’s probably having a heart attack about now.” Moss laughs quietly to themselves, but it settles into a frown and they curl into themselves again. Their thoughts start to run rampant as they think about Sedna, and before they know it they can feel tears start to run down their face again. 

Sedna leans against a tree, breathing heavily as he makes his way through the woods. He had been almost running this whole time, and the heat of the night paired with it wasn’t helping. He wipes some sweat off his forehead as he takes in the area. He’s looking at the ground, hoping for footsteps, but he doesn’t see anything. He sighs, still catching his breath, but he sees something glinting in the dim moonlight. Sedna squints, leaning down and running his fingers on it. It’s wet, and when he lifts his fingers his heart jumps to his throat. “They’re hurt.” His heart hammers against his ribcage and he looks around, a new flood of anxiety pumping through his veins. He notices now, though, that it left an easy to follow trail for him. 

Sedna speedwalks to get to Moss, and he can’t help but space out as his mind spirals. The only sound he hears is the blood rushing past his ears. His walk turns into a jog, which turns into a run, and finally - when the sound of blood through his ears is replaced by water against rocks - he comes to a sudden halt. Moss is right in front of him. God, they look so small to him. Their knees are tucked under their chin and their arms are wrapped around themselves. He wants to rush in and hold them, but he can see that their face is wet. His heart twists and he can’t will himself to move. 

Moss’ throat feels sore as they stare at the water, their face is sticky and their eyes are puffy. Their feet are still in the water, likely gone wrinkly but they can’t find it in themselves to pull them out. They can feel the odd firefly land on them every now and again, but they don’t bother to move. They look at their reflection in front of them, grimacing at the sight. “What if he doesn’t even want me to come back?” They sniffle, burying their head into their legs. “What if he leaves me behind?” 

“I’d never!” Sedna’s voice catches Moss off guard, and they whip their head around to see him. “I wouldn’t leave you.” He’s crying himself, but he steps around the bush in front of him and takes three long, quick strides towards them. He drops to his knees with no hesitation and his hands go to grasp their face, but he stops. “I can’t.” He smiles at them through his tears before continuing on. “I’m in love with you. I will always be in love with you. Even if the gods hid you away from me, I would never stop searching for you.” His hands finally meet their face, gently cupping their cheeks. “I’m sorry for being overprotective, I was just so worried about you all the time. Especially when you get sick.” Sedna’s hands shake and his lips quiver, so Moss reaches out and wipes his tears away. He leans into their touch. “I just got scared that I was going to lose you. I was thinking about how little you had been with me and how quickly you were going to leave. And the thought terrified me. It still terrifies me. I’m sorry, I -” He crumbles into them and sobs, pulling Moss close to him. “I must have made you feel suffocated. God, I’m an idiot.” 

“No you aren’t!” Moss wraps their arms around his shoulders, pressing their foreheads together. “I should have talked to you about this ages ago. But you’re right, I shouldn’t have bottled everything up. You’re all right there for me to talk to and I ended up hurting you by trying to avoid doing just that.” Their lips quirk upwards as they look at Sedna. His lips are slightly parted and his eyes are just as red as theirs. “All you’ve been doing is worrying about me. I’m sorry.” Moss’ eyes shine with fresh tears. 

Sedna’s hands make their way around Moss’ waist and he nuzzles his nose against theirs. “No, no, don't cry Mossie. You’ll dry out if you keep going at this rate.” He places gentle kisses on their cheeks, laying them down on the ground. 

Moss can’t help the giggle that blossoms in their throat, finding his actions ticklish. “You can’t say much. You’ve been crying just as much.” 

“Not just as much.” He whispers, lying down next to them and pulling them close. He takes a minute to admire the fireflies gently floating around, the way their hair is splayed around them and the redness on their cheeks. “You scared me, is all. I thought you left.” He lifts a lock of their hair up and places a kiss on that, too. “Forever, I mean.” 

“What??” Moss looks at him incredulously. “I’d never - I couldn’t!” They look at his face, and soften when he looks at the ground below them and blushes. “I left the island to be with you. I wouldn’t leave after a mild disagreement.” 

“I was scared.” He admits, still not making eye contact with them. “I never thought I would be like this with someone, and it’s so new to me. Sure, I have the fear that Koya or Aion are going to die in the throes of battle one day. Or that Mom and Pops are going to get tied up with some old enemy of theirs. But with you I,” He hesitates, finally looking into their eyes. Moss’ breath hitches at the way his gaze seems to hold them above anything else. “With you, the thought makes my stomach curdle and my heart stop. It makes me want to keep you on a silk pillow sometimes.” He laughs when Moss quirks an eyebrow at him. “I know, you’re fully capable of protecting yourself. But you also need to tell me things, too.” Sedna’s hand slides up onto their cheek, and he holds their face still. “I heard you got stabbed?” 

“Ah.” Moss looks at the ground this time, but can’t run away from his gaze. “They told you?” 

“Koya didn’t even know it was supposed to be a secret.” He runs his thumb over Moss’ bottom lip, eyebrows furrowed. “How did you even hide it? Getting stabbed isn’t a small injury.” 

“It was shallow.” Moss starts, nestling themselves closer to him. “And I used some plant matter to heal it quicker. I don’t do that often, though.” 

“You can do that?” Sedna grins, propping himself up on his elbow. “Why didn’t you tell me before that you could do that?”

“I don’t like to.” Moss says, looking up at the sky. “I need to suck the life out of the plant I’m using. I can feel it dying, Sedna. I hate doing it.” Sedna’s eyes widen and he blinks for a moment. His mind racks for something to say, but he finds himself wordless. “It’s different than when I’m eating, or picking flowers. I feel like I’m killing something.” 

“How did you find out that you could do it?” Sedna’s hand slides down their body and he begins to fiddle with the hem of their shirt. “I don’t imagine that it’s something you’d be searching for.” 

Moss hesitates. They let out a shaky sigh, looking over at him. “It was years ago. I was thirteen, and everyone had just left. Mother had sealed herself into the tree.” Theis fingers shake as they try and keep a calm tone to their voice, one of their arms reaching up so they could play with his hair. “I don’t remember a lot. It was cold, I couldn’t get a fire going and winter was starting. I couldn’t grow anything, hunt or can food yet either. I was starving so I went to get food.” They make eye contact with Sedna for just a second, but the look of pure worry he gives them makes them look away again. “I was wet and cold. It started to snow and I couldn’t see anything. I fell unconscious at one point. And then it was warm.” 

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” Sedna is quick to speak. He’s hovering over them a little bit, holding their chin and looking into their eyes. “You seem a bit anxious.” 

“No. I want to.” They smile at him, lifting his hand to their cheek and leaning into his touch. “I’m almost finished, anyways.”  Another shaky sigh leaves their lips before they continue. “It was spring when I woke up again. Where I was didn’t look like it, though.” Moss lets out a bitter laugh. “Everywhere within ten feet of me was dead. The trees, the grass, the flowers. I tried to grow it back, too! But it wouldn’t! It still hasn’t grown back.” They held his hand to their face as they kiss his palm, and their voice shakes as they continue to speak. “I didn’t die. I should have. But instead the ground beneath me did. Life is supposed to cycle and I stopped it from doing that.” 

“You didn’t stop it, though.” Sedna leans down and moves their bangs from their forehead. He kisses between their eyebrows. “It just changed the course it was going through. It went to you, instead.” He kisses their nose, next. “And now, instead of this abandoned little island in the middle of nowhere, I have you.” 

Moss rolls their eyes and playfully shoves his shoulder a bit. “You are so cheesy.” 

Sedna hums in response, leaning down and ghosting their lips against his as he speaks. “You love that about me.” 

“I do.” They wrap their arms around his shoulders and pull him flush against them. Their lips glide against each other into a deep kiss. Sedna pulls back first, but not before giving them a secondary quick peck. “Should we head back soon? It’s getting pretty late.” 

“I think I want to stay here with you for a while. Admire the scenery.” He flashes them a toothy grin, nuzzling their noses against each other. “The waterfall and stuff is pretty nice, too.” 

“Oh stop it.” Moss laughs and pushes him up. 

“Only when I’m dead and gone, my dear.” He echoes their laugh back, snatching their hand and kissing their knuckles. “You’ll have to live with me until then.” 

[evereinefaust]

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ 𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 ࿐ྂ

Pairing: Norway (Lukas Bondevik) X afab!Reader

Trigger Warning: Character death, bullying, self-harm, suicide

Sypnosis: All I ever wanted is to feel loved and accepted... Is that too difficult of a request? I guess I'm just too broken to care anymore...

Word Count: 2,139

'You should transfer schools already!'

'You are nothing but a nuisance!'

'Puny! You can't even defend yourself!'

'Freak!'

'It's a wrong choice to befriend you!'

'We're sick of you!'

'Bitch!'

'Die, you bitch!'

That, those, and these are the words they say to me. Those mean words and phrases would break my heart every day. I have no one, no one to protect me from those bullies. I was now 18, I am in high school, and had a good life. I got high grades and befriends all of my classmates and other students, and I'm the most famous student in my school. And because I am beautiful, smart, kind, and famous, perfect was the only thing that my friends would compliment me, and this is the cause why I am being chased by guys. All was perfect, that was only until when a certain person came and ruin my life. Her name is (bitch's name). She was the queen of bitches, and the leader of bullies.

It all started when she had hate for me, we were close friends before. We attend the same preschool and grade school, and we were only an average student studying there. We were called the best of friends by our other friends at that time. I did everything for her, and she did too. She was my savior from bullies, that was the reason I met her. But she changed after I started to study hard and became a famous student in school because of my high grades, she became cold towards me and befriend the bullies in our school. I tried to talk to her but she would shove me away, my parents said that she must have troubles and told me not to be close to her for a while and just focus on my studies.

But that was the reason it got all worst, she would try and make my life miserable. And when my parents heard of this news, they immediately transfer me abroad. I came back when I started high school and the good things came back to me, but she won't give up already, when she knew that I returned, she followed me here. She would tell lies about me to my friends and they were easily fooled by her. She made them her underlings and order them to start my day in hell. And that was the reason why I am in this state.

I've been thinking if it's good to end my life since my life became worse and worse every day passed. Nobody would stop me, right? Everyone hated me now, because of the lies that bitch told them. I wanted to be with my mother and father again, why? They're already dead. They died in a car accident, actually, it wasn't an accident. (bitch's name) did this, she made sure that my parents were dead in that so-called accident. I wanted to curse that bitch! But hey, life would be easier if I were gone. She would be the most popular student in school, she would rule all the other students and her life will be perfect. And she won't have any rivals again...

"One..."

"Two..."

"Three..."

"Four..."

"And five..."

"There, all done! All that I need is to jump off this bridge" I chuckled like a maniac as I covered myself with cuts using our sharpest knife. "Oh! But before that, I would leave a call to my only dearest friend, Lukas Bondevik"

He was my closest friend when I started high school but he is always far from me. He was always been busy and don't have the time to hang around with me, we only met when he had the time in his life. We had different schedules and he couldn't help me with my problem, since I never told him. I don't really care if he wouldn't stop me from doing this, he was perfect after all. He was also being chased by that bitch, that's why I always got bruises cause whenever I'm with him, she would be jealous and would beat the carp out of me when he was not around. The only reason I'm letting him know is because I cared for him. He was the first and most precious friend I made, I loved him very much. And I wanted him to have a better life, so that is why I kept my problem a secret from him. I wanted him not to be part of this. I am always been a burden to him, but he would never throw me out. He would welcome me in his loving presence whenever I had problems. But this time, it's different. I wanted him not to worry about me, that's all I wish for. 

I got my phone out and dialed his number, and since it was midnight, I assume that he wouldn't pick it up. He is always busy and needed sleep to be energized.

"Hallo? [Name]? Is that you?"

That's that. I was shocked by this. I never expect him to pick his phone up. His tone is a bit sleepy and had an emotion in it, which is unusual. He never, ever had this kind of emotion when he was talking to someone, even on the phone. 

"Why did you call me at this hour? It's midnight, and where are you?" He asked, worried.

I hesitate to reply, I don't know how to respond to his question. The tears that were built up are slowly falling down to my pale cheeks.

"I-I was just going to tell you something important..." I cracked as my breath slowly dropped. " I needed to go..."

"Go? Where are you going? Are you leaving? What do you mean?" He asked again, his tone more worried than earlier.

I didn't expect him to be like this, he was known by his monotone voice and expressionless feature. But now, I made him change, I turned him upside down. He was now concerned about me, am I needed to be concerned about? Especially from him? I regret what I did, but there isn't any more choice to pick. I bit my lips as I cried.

"[Name]? Are you okay? Please answer me. What's going on? Where are you? I'm going to come to you" Lukas said. I knew that he was going to find me, but it's alright, I am well prepared for this. He wouldn't know where I am.

"No Lukas! You don't need to come here. And I'm alright, nothing is wrong. It was just your imagination. You needed some sleep" I told him, but my sniffs can be heard from the other line.

"[Name], please... Tell me. We're close, right? Friends should tell their problems to each other. Please, tell me..." Lukas actually begged me, the well-known emotionless hot Norwegian is now here, begging me to tell him about my problems.

This time, I almost drop my phone from too much shaking, my legs can't even handle it anymore. My almost lifeless body is now shaking to death, one wrong move and I'll fall to my grave.

"I'm sorry. I'm very sorry, Lukas. There is no more place for me now, everybody from school hated me. They wanted me dead, and I'm here, granting their wish. My life is ruined, I wanted to end it before it's too late. I'm already tired, tired to live, tired of continuing this life of mine. You will be happy when I'm gone..." I said my final farewell. "Goodbye Lukas, I love you..."

This is it, the time I've been waiting for. I let myself fall towards the cold water of the bridge, I wanted to welcome my new friend, darkness. They will be the ones who would take care of me starting now. Goodbye, world... Goodbye, Lukas...

"[Name]? [Name]? Please answer me [Name]!" I yelled. I held my phone tightly, my body shaking uncontrollably. I quickly changed clothes and then exited the house. 

I wandered around town to find any signs where [Name] could be. I spotted a familiar phone lying on the bridge where we always met. I hurriedly ran towards it and then kneel down to grab it. It was broken and it has blood stains on it, I looked at the screen and saw 'Call Ended' with a little crack. I saw the blood drops near the phone and then toward the end of the bridge. There I saw a knife with blood stains, I went over it then saw the water. The water seems calm but I saw a glimpse of a certain [hair color]-haired female, the water near her seems so red. Then I realized, it was [Name]! I dived towards the water without any hesitation. I grabbed the waist of the female and then carried her head up, she's so cold and pale. I went to the nearest ground with [Name] on my back, luckily, there's a stair that leads to the upper ground. I hurried upstairs with her still on my back and ran in the direction of the nearest hospital here. Finally, I arrived there then slammed the door open. "Anyone, please help us" I begged as looked around, my eyes filled with fear and worry.

Then, several nurses appeared at my side with a gurney. They took the girl from me then placed her on it, then hurried toward the emergency room. As we arrived there, one nurse told me to wait outside and then gave me a blanket. I thanked her and then sat down, waiting patiently for [Name] to be okay. After a while, I yawned and then fell asleep.

"It's too late, she ran out of blood. There's no way we can save her anymore" The doctor said as they were busy saving the pale [hair length] [hair color]-colored girl. She was just there, laying on the bed, her face as white as a ghost. "But doctor, her friend is out there. He wanted her to be alive" One nurse told the doctor. "I know, but we can't contribute blood to her, she doesn't have any blood inside her now" The doctor replied. The room felt silent, the only thing that was heard was the machine near her. The short beeping sound turned into a long one, she was dead.

[Name], please be okay. Lukas woke up early in the morning. His clothes were now dry and he was still on the same chair where he sat yesterday. He can't wait for [Name] to come out of the room. He can't wait to see her smiling face again. He can't wait to hug her and tell her 'welcome back'. His heart was pounding rapidly, and his face turned slightly emotionless. He was surprised because of the door of the emergency room, he thought that it was that girl that he loved who opened the door, but it was only her doctor. Lukas stood up to face the doctor. "How is she doc?" He asked. The doctor only looked at him with pity and then looked down. Lukas knew the motion, his eyes widened as he hurried to enter the room. There he saw her, sleeping peacefully on the hospital bed. He can't believe his eyes, the [Name] that he loved is dead. He walked slowly to her and touch her face, she was cold. "[Name]... I'm glad to see you again. Please wake up now" He muttered to her, even though he knew she was already dead. "Sir! Please don't touch her!" Two of the nurses held the Norwegian's arms and were about to pull him away from her. "Don't touch me!" He snapped as he struggle to get his arms released. The nurses didn't hesitate to pull him away from her again, but this time, with the help of the other male nurses. Lukas kept screaming her name after he was outside the room. The nurses released him, then he looked at the door with tears bubbling in his eyes. He just can't believe that it's true, [Name]'s dead, he couldn't save her back then.

After the death of [Name], the other Nordics knew the news from Lukas. Lukas stayed inside his room, not bothering to answer any of the other Nordics who call him. He just sat on his bed, crying. He can't stop, his pain is just too much for him to handle. He just wanted to be with her again, but no one can ever repair his broken heart.

[the-firebird69]

It's a game to him until he has to face Billy z or Mac he thinks it doesn't matter and it doesn't cost anything but he's destroying his own forces and his family because he's a peon and a moron I mean there's nobody to help his family and I found them to be useful that comparison to other people even BGA and he's got a big pig but just like back I mean geez Mac knows it too but wow this guy

Zues

I don't want to speak or say anything but everybody's talking about me it's saying I jump off a bridge that's just a****** next door and that certainly see something it looks like the other thing it's not it's my daughter it was messing around me a little and we both sad now I have something to say we're trying to come up with power and here it is and we don't feel good because this a****** father of ours is fighting him say all this s*** it won't drop his stupid insanity for any reason and I'm sick of it he got set up by Dave and George since he got out of it when Tommy after it but who cares now he's set up by Tommy F and Mac and it's not fighting them at all and he wants to fight us why don't you f*** off and die get your own equipment you have your own equipment just leave it up there and holy s*** that's sad he says why you such a sack of s*** something is only worth something someone has it and right in front of you like like a little 8 year old kid I'm kind of bullshited this whole thing and I want to know why the bridge is a big deal and shooting us is not and by the way how can you judge him and you're all sitting there watching it happen he says welcome to your nightmare this is what you're kind do. Is that part of our organization it doesn't understand it no he gets it you're stupid you people are dumb you can get hurt by really stupid s*** like that it's approve something about it because some dumb s*** I see dance reaction just grab power is going to f*** you up that's what you should do who the hell cares for it it's in there nothing didn't try to stop him it's in there yelling it I guess he yells it all the time so you can get away with it I didn't say something I don't know what the hell he's shooting us for it's getting tiring what he says is someone shot me once they're dead and my granddaddy's dead so I hear what he's saying he was like this huge pillar for everyone it just took him down cuz he shot at him. Smart ass now tell me if you saying it's him and so does Trump and they keep getting shot. They're trying to kidnap him and it looks like it so I figured out something what you're saying is if you're shooting here that she should kill you to stop you because that's what she has to do because the law enforcement people are not doing their job you belong in prison and here you are outside prison and Stan is going to put you in prison and you belong in prison there's a word for you and it's scofflaw you're also a massive idiot and you're hurting people your old army all the time and nobody's loyal to you you think your program doesn't work and it's gone the computer is gone the other computers are almost gone what the hell is wrong with you

Emily blunt

I'll tell you what's wrong everyone's making fun of me and stuff you know what it is I have a stupid message I do the taboo and sometimes it works it's nobody does he has kind of crappy and it ruins stuff but that's what it is

Trump

We actually hate you for it and we're going to get you for it it's actually true you're just a loser Ricky Schroeder with a loser technique and you do loser stuff it's the whole thing and really put you in there and you suck really bad and you missed a lot of people up we should never have done it. You're also spoiled and you're cry baby and you take things about yours all the time cuz you have to and we're going to cut your balls off today stupid a****** you shouldn't even be here you should be long in prison and you're going back there in just a couple hours maybe sentenced and you're going to stay there

Mac

I'm mulching Army and people should be happy about it and he says they probably are. Says they don't like me either cuz he'll sit there on his head and we don't do anything right it's probably true but I'm going to have the power and you can't do anything about it

Dan

I have the power and I'm going to stop you and you two are the idiots doing it and this is proof you just keep threatening for stuff every once in a while you get something and it's a waste of time and he said it too nothing you can do to watch you screw around them 24 hours a day like 10 years to keep them poor you're so dumb it's such a stupid thing to do and 255 is not us it's not Mac it's you in this idiot Trump and your clan your stupid people

Tommy f

Is dumb s*** and it's meant for the weaklings underlings like you said and you idiots consuming and use it cuz you're stupid now

Emily blunt

No you're stupid granted I got a prison sentence of some kind of coming up and I got a few here all over the place so I have to take over again

Trump

F this sh I'm hitting you Trump you hopeless shit trapped him there your out soon ok out. Emily dies your out

Stan

Then you die

Trump

No you will and we do it

Stan

Thank God someone does it

Mac

[tracksidequeen]

Buns in the Oven

Request: How do you think Toto would react in a unplanned pregnancy? - Anon

Warnings: !Unplanned pregnancy!, established relationship.

Words: 900+

a/n: I love asks like these! Thinking this through, all the different scenarios, literally had me tear up bc I just know he’d be amazing 🥺

*****

After a year of being together you trusted each other, and felt comfortable enough to not always do it safe. You know... the pull and pray-method. Both very aware of the risk, but what are the odds?

When you missed your period you decided to take a test, just to be sure, and there it was. The pregnancy test read out: ‘Pregnant’ in all caps.

Your initial feeling was pure joy because there was nothing you wanted more in the world than having a baby with the man of your dreams. But that feeling of happiness was soon clouded with the thought of actually delivering the news to Toto, having no clue as to how he might respond.

He’s not the youngest anymore, and you knew very well he had his apprehensions about having a baby, given how busy both of your lives are, and how much you both have to travel for work.

After a quiet dinner you sit him down on the couch, and with tears in your eyes you try to scramble up the words.

“Toto, honey, there’s something I- We are-” You pinch the bridge of your nose to compose yourself but the tears prickle behind your eyes. “I can’t...”

He grabs your shaking hand, “Schatzi, what’s going on? You’re making me worried.”

“Promise me you won’t get mad,” you plea. “Even if you are going to be, please, please, at least pretend.”

“Mad about what?” he says with genuine confusion. “Schatzi, talk to me.”

“Toto, I have to show you something.” You stand up to get the pregnancy test from the bedroom and walk back into the living room. Test in hand.

He scans the worried expression on your face, and then glance down to the stick in your hand. His eyes dilate and abruptly he stands up expressionless, probably out of shock. You can’t blame him though.

“Tell me you’re joking.”

Slowly you shake your head ‘no’, not knowing what would come next; and your whole body freezes in fearful anticipation.

“You’re not- no way. Seriously!?” he exclaims as his face lights up and his start glistening. He jumps up and walks to you, placing his hands on your cheek to wipe away the tear streaming down your face. A smiled radiated on his face from cheek to cheek, 

“Schatz, this is-” He shook his head trying to find the right words. “I can’t believe it, show me!”

You held up the test so he could read it.

“-and you’re sure it’s-?”

Nodding your head you explain, “I took three tests just to be sure and they all said, well…”

He finished your sentence with a whisper, “…pregnant.”

At that exact moment the meaning of the word resonated and the man that you’d known to be strong and stoic broke down in tears. Sweet tears of pure happiness.

“You’re pregnant... with me?”

A soft giggle escapes from your chest, “yes, you! Who else, silly?” You run your fingers through his hair. “Honey, you’re going to be a dad,” you manage to say through your own sobs.

Both emotional messes you fall back down on the sofa together, embraced by each others’ hugs, tangled in each others’ arms. You both stare at the test in his hand with disbelief.

He refused to let it go.

It was his proof he was going to be a dad; the dad of the baby he was going to have with you. The love of his life, the woman of his dreams, the mother of his baby.

His eyes teared up again at the thought and as he was trying to blink them away the teardrops fell down his cheek. Slowly you wipe them off his face. “I wasn’t expecting this reaction, babe,” and you place a soft kiss on his cheekbone.

“What? Schatz, I know what I said before about having kids, but what did I know?- this- this is the best thing that ever happened to me.” He softly places his hand on your stomach and leans down to kiss it.

“Please remember those exact words when I have my morning sickness or when you’re on diaper-duty,” you laugh.

“Meine Liebe, Liebe, Liebe, I’ll be reminded of it every step of the way. This is the greatest blessing I’ve ever received.”

He cups your wet cheeks in both hands and pulls you in for a kiss. As his soft lips touch yours you wonder why you were so worried and scared to tell him in the first place.

“Schatz, I’ll be here every step of the way. I need you to know that,” he says as he gently grabs your chin between his fingers so you’d look at him directly. “Through it all I’ll be by your side- with anything you need, and anything you want. I’ll make our little Wolff-pack my life’s purpose.”

You close your eyes at the vows he was making, to try and not become more of an emotional wreck than you already are, but before you could breakdown in tears of happiness he wrapped his arms around you tightly and gave you a kiss.

A safe place you knew you’d have for the rest of your life.

He truly is the sweetest, most loving man you’ve ever met, with the biggest heart and there’s no other person you’d rather do this with. You know he’ll be the most amazing dad to your baby.

Suddenly he smiles under your kiss, “…do you know when my little soldier won the battle?” he asked with a cheeky smile. “We need to commemorate the victory-day.”

————

Reblog or comment if you enjoyed it, your support is very much appreciated ❤️

————

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[sacredsorceress]

Honor || Peter Parker

pairing: peter parker x reader

summary: your best friend peter parker who has a secret crush on you catches your boyfriend cheating with another girl

a/n: reblogs and replies are super appreciated!

word count: 3.1k

warnings: mentions of cheating, swearing, angst, fluff

masterlist || request

Peter sat on the edge of the rooftop, kicking his feet back and forth while monitoring the street below him through a pair of binoculars. It was a slow afternoon and a chill hit him as he watched the sun begin to set over the bridge in the distance. He was beginning to wonder if maybe he should head home for the evening, get some homework done and eat when his binoculars landed on a couple sat on a street bench with their tongues practically down each other’s throats.

“Gross.” Peter grumbled, moving his binoculars on from the couple to skim the remainder of the street.

Although his sight had shifted to the other end of the street, his attention was grabbed by the sound of the girl’s voice from the couple he had just had the displeasure viewing, calling her boyfriend’s name.

At the sound of the name, Peter quickly swung his pair of binoculars to land on the couple again. He knew that plenty of people could have that name and that it was probably not even worth checking out, but he couldn’t help himself.

“Ian,” The girl laughed pulling away from the boy’s lips, but still in his arms.

Peter began to feel a knot twist in his stomach and his heart started beating rapidly. It couldn’t be him, right?

As he shifted the binoculars a bit more to land on the boy’s face he immediately recognized his face. How could he not? There was no doubt that the boy holding another girl in his arms was none other than your boyfriend, Ian.

As soon as he recognized him, Peter could feel nothing but rage. Ever since the moment that you had first mentioned him, Peter hated him. Before he had even met him he hated him because he had you. After he met him, he grew to hate him even more. Peter didn’t trust your boyfriend and had always had a bad feeling about him in his gut since the two of you had started dating a month ago which he now realized he was right. He didn’t feel good about it, however, he just felt sick looking at the sight in front of him.

How could he do that to you? He had you- Peter’s most favorite person in the world- who he would lay down his life for- and he had the audacity to cheat on you. Peter had been in love with you since he couldn’t even remember when and you still chose him- the guy he was now watching cheat on you in front of his own very eyes.

“Shit. Shit. Shit.” Peter swore to himself, pulling himself up off the ledge and throwing his binoculars to the side.

As he stood on the ledge, he didn’t know what to do. How was he supposed to handle it without exposing himself as Ian’s girlfriend’s best friend? However, Peter’s logic was probably the last of his guiding principles at the moment as he thought about how hurt you would be when you found out.

Without much thought, Peter shot a web at the lamppost across the street, swinging himself to land right in front of the couple.

At the sound of Peters feet loudly hitting the ground, the girl jumped away from Ian’s arms with a yelp escaping her mouth.

“Hey guys!” Peter waved to the couple sitting in front of him, attempting to mask his anger.

“Spider-Man?” The girl asked, eyes wide and her hands shooting to cover her mouth. “Did we... did we do something wrong?”

At her question, Peter shook his head adamantly, moving his hand to rest under his chin as he began to pace back and forth in front of the couple.

“No, ma’am. Nope. No no no no.” He stated. “I was just wondering- are you two dating?”

When the girl answered ‘yes’ confidently, Peter stopped in his place turning towards the couple. Restraining himself from going after Ian on the spot for not only cheating on you, but dating a completely different girl behind your back, he continued.

“Huh.”

The girl shifted her gaze from Peter to Ian before landing back on Peter. “Why? What’s wrong?”

Peter shrugged, crossing his arms and beginning to pace back and forth once again. “I don’t- I don’t know, ma’am...”

Peter felt bad that he was worrying this girl, but then again she had the right to know and Peter was going to drag this out for your cheating boyfriend for as long as possible.

The girl leaned forward in her seat. “What is it?”

Peter then halted in front of the bench. “It’s probably nothing.” He shook his head.

“Please-”

“Well,” Peter began, gesturing his hand from himself to the boy in front of him. “I just thought... you know.. that I saw him here the other day with another girl, but she looked nothing like you so that can't be right. Maybe it’s just my eyes, you know, I see a lot of people, but I could’ve sworn-”

“Hey man, what the fuck!” Ian shouted at Peter.

The girl who was previously sitting beside him, stood up and walked backwards away from the bench. “Ian, is that true?” She asked.

Ian shifted his view from Spider-Man to the still unnamed girl that he had been kissing a second before. Before answering his girlfriend, however, Ian finally focused on Peter, glaring his eyes and pushing himself up from his seat on the bench.

“What the fuck’s your problem? Who do you think you are coming in here and starting shit? Don’t you have actual shit to worry about?”

When he came a little too close for Peter’s liking, Peter spoke up again. “Hey, dude, back up-”

“Who the fuck do you think you are?”

And with that sentence, Peter had had enough. Holding himself back from kicking his ass right then and there, but still wanting him out of his face, Peter raised his hand, instead shooting a web at the boy causing him to be thrown back into his seat with a grunt, held down by Spider-Man’s webs.

Before another word could slip out of anyone’s mouth, the unnamed girl stepped forward, ripping off a bracelet that had previously adorned her wrist and threw it at Ian who was still restrained.

“Don’t call me.”

“Wait!” Ian called, watching the girl walk away with her back towards him. Despite his pleas, however, she continued without another look. “Baby, wait! I can explain.”

At the sound of him calling her baby, Peter grimaced under his mask. The sight of him struggling under the webs admittedly made Peter feel good, but the absolute rage he felt at the excuse of a boyfriend sitting in front of him remained.

When she left his point of view, Ian swapped his attention back to Spider-Man, shouting.

“Seriously, who the fuck are y-”

Without the girl there to watch him and barely anything to hold him back from his own anger, Peter stomped towards the boy, grabbing the collar of his shirt and shoved him back against the bench.

“I’m Spider-Man and you fucked up.”

As Peter watched the fear in the guy who he had hated for so long’s eyes, he felt a sense of pride for getting at least a minuscule piece of revenge on your behalf.

He shoved your boyfriend back one last time before letting go and walking in the other direction without a word. He heard Ian calling for him from behind, but he refused to acknowledge him, instead making his way towards your apartment.

He didn’t know what he was going to say to you. As much as a part of him was happy that the relationship between you and Ian would surely be over, he already knew that it would hit you hard and the last thing he enjoyed seeing was you in any form of distress.

The sun had already set by the time he reached your street. It was dark and there was barely anyone on the road, luckily enough for him so he could climb up to your window without raising any suspicion. 

With a light knock on the glass, he soon after heard shuffling around your bedroom before seeing your smiling face opening the window.

His heart sunk in his chest knowing that he was about to ruin your day and wipe the sweet smile he loved so much off of your face.

As soon as he climbed inside and sat on your bed, he pulled off his mask. Without even a word having come out of his mouth yet, you asked.

“What’s wrong?”

Peter fiddled with the mask in his hands, not meeting your eyes. He was a horrible combination of angry, sad and worried. Of course you would know something was wrong without him even opening his mouth- you could read him like a book. Although he knew he had to tell you about what had just happened, he didn’t know how and he hated the idea of hurting you.

“Peter?” You asked again, this time sitting down beside him on your bed.

Peter shook his head still refusing to meet your eyes. “Y/n...” He began.

His not answering and the somber sound of your name leaving his lips caused you to begin to worry. You rested your hands on Peter’s leg that was bouncing anxiously to calm him and let him know that it was okay.

“You’re scaring me, Parker.” You told him. “I can handle it. What is it?”

Peter knew that you could handle it. You could handle anything. The night that he told you that he was Spider-Man, you barely even flinched- just making him promise that he would be safe and that he would remember you when he was “buddy buddy” with the Avengers. He remembered laughing that he could never forget you. He never could.

He knew that you would be able to handle it and get over it- you had only dated Ian for a month- but he knew it would still hurt.

“I was... I was just patrolling and I saw... Ian.” He told you, your boyfriend’s name slipping out of his mouth in a snarl.

“Okay...”

“And um-“ He paused, scratching the back of his neck, still refusing to meet your eyes. “He was... he was with some other girl.”

“Oh.”

Peter continued on with details but you had already stopped listening by then. You knew enough of what was going on just by him saying it and you couldn’t deny how you felt sick thinking about it.

Peter ceased his rambling, finally allowing himself to look at you and when your eyes were focused on the other side of the room, and beginning to glaze over he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you towards him.

“I’m so sorry, Y/n.”

You knew however much he hated Ian, he meant it. You trusted Peter more than anyone, but until you were pulled into his hug, you had tried to contain your feelings. You wrapped your arms tightly around him and hid your face in his neck, similar to the way you had the first time he had taken you swinging around the city.

“Is there something wrong with me, Pete?” You asked.

He could tell even without super hearing that your voice was cracking and that you were close to crying. His heart broke hearing you, but he pulled away, holding your shoulders at arms length and forcing you to look him in the eyes.

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Y/n.” He told you seriously. “Why- why would you think that? He’s the one who messed up.”

You didn’t know how to tell Peter that you weren’t necessarily upset about losing Ian, but instead how you were cheated on and disrespected in such a way. You never told Peter but the whole reason you had even started talking to Ian in the first place was because you had feelings for your best friend. You felt as though you could never tell him and even if you did, you felt that Peter would never like you back, so you kept it in, instead attempting to fill the hole with a random boy like Ian.

“I don’t know. Maybe I’m not worthy of love or something.” You told Peter, wiping the tears that had fallen onto your cheeks.

Peter almost felt his heart burst in his chest when you told him that you felt unworthy of love. He didn’t know how to tell you that this guy wasn’t worthy of your love, respect or your attention. He didn’t know how to tell you that he knew for a fact that you were worthy of love because he chose to love you every day despite the fact you didn’t in return.

Your best friend moved his hands and held either side of your face, holding his world in his hands.

“Y/n, listen to me.” He told you, his eyes searching yours. “That guy was a jerk. You know I hated him and I hate even more that he hurt you. You deserve all the love in the world, Y/n. I mean you’re super cool and nice and- and beautiful and funny and um... you just deserve the best. The best of the best.”

You trusted your best friend more than anyone but it also hurt to hear him saying all of that. How he could be saying all of this about you and not love you the way that you loved him?

“Why don’t you love me then?”

Your voice was almost a whisper and so light Peter almost didn’t catch it. When it slipped out of your mouth you hoped he didn’t, but he did.

You watched as a look of hurt washed over Peter’s face. “You know I love you, Y/n.”

You shook your head. “Not like that, Pete.”

You were frustrated that he didn’t understand what you meant. For God knows how long your life has felt like some cosmic joke where it granted you the most perfect boy in your life, but he would only love you as a friend and at this point you felt defeated.

You pulled Peter’s hands off of your face and pushed yourself off the bed, now standing in front of him.

“What do you mean?” Peter asked.

You scoffed. “Really Peter?” You crossed your arms. “When are you going to get it? Don’t get me wrong I liked Ian, but.. I’ve always.. he wasn’t...”

Peter stood up from his seat on your bed. “You’ve always what?”

“Oh my god, Peter! I’ve always loved you!”

When you realized what you had just shouted at your best friend, you went still and the room was silent. You almost couldn’t bare to look at Peter after just admitting that you were in love with him, but you did anyway. He stood still in his place with his eyes wide.

With your heart racing in your chest still, you softened your voice.

“I’m so sorry, Peter. I didn’t mean to-”

“You love me?” He asked, cutting you off.

In this moment, Peter was glad that you didn't have the same abilities as him because if you did he knew all you would be able to hear was the loud thumping of his heart in his chest.

Unable to speak, you nodded.

Peter didn't even know what to do with himself. Both of you had spent all of this time and wasted so much energy, pretending to not be in love with each other and here he was now, learning that the entire time you felt the same way. He didn’t want to waste a second longer.

“Can I kiss you?”

Still unable to speak and shocked by his question, with wide eyes you nodded adamantly.

As soon as you nodded your head, Peter tossed his mask onto the bed, made his way towards you and kissed you with his hands holding either side of your face.

You knew Peter could hear your heart racing in your chest as your lips met his and wrapped your arms around his neck.

The moment he kissed you, you never wanted it to stop. You had pined after him for so long and you always assumed it would be futile- that Peter could never possibly want you as more than a friend- but as you kissed him, all that time didn’t seem wasted, but worth it because despite everything the two of you had been through he was now yours and that was all that mattered.

Pulling away, Peter leaned his forehead against yours. “I love you too.”

You smiled, pecking him one last time on the lips before pulling away entirely. Without a word, you made your way to your desk, picking up your phone.

“What are you doing?” Peter asked.

“I have to call Ian to tell him we’re over.” You informed him, searching for his number.

Peter, however, pulled the phone away from your hand, smirking.

“I think I have a better idea.”

Twenty minutes later you were following Peter as he led the way down the dimly lit street to find the bench he had left your cheating boyfriend on not even an hour before. When he finally stopped, the two of you stood in front of the bench and you you couldn’t help but laugh at Peter’s handy work, Ian still held to the bench by Spider-Man’s webs.

At the sound of your laugh, you watched Ian stir in his seat, meeting your eyes.

“Y/n?” He asked, opening his eyes wider in surprise when he recognized you. “Y/n! Thank God you’re here. You have to get me out of these things.”

“I don’t know, man.” Peter told your boyfriend, now stepping into his line of sight. “I feel like Spider-Man must have had a pretty good reason to leave you like that.”

At the sight of Peter, Ian scowled. “Fuck off, Parker. What the hell are you doing here?”

Before Peter could say anything, you moved to stand in front of him. “Peter saw the whole thing.” You told him and with that you swore he looked like a deer in headlights. “We’re over, Ian.”

With that, you grabbed Peter’s arm. “Let’s go, Pete.”

Peter nodded, placing his hand on your lower back, guiding you in the opposite direction of your now ex-boyfriend. When you weren’t paying attention, though, Peter turned his head, flashing your cheating ex a shit eating grin while giving him a thumbs up before resting his hand once again on your back. Your ex continued to shout profanities at you and Peter as the two of you walked away, but all that mattered to you was that you and Peter were no longer in hiding, both finally knew the truth about each other’s feelings.

“I couldn't say it before,” You told him. “but nice web work by the way.”

Peter laughed. “It dissolves in a few hours, but he deserves to stay there all night if you ask me.”

You smiled, pulling Peter to a stop. You turned to face him, gripping the fabric of his sweatshirt. “Thanks for defending my honor, Spidey.”

Peter smiled back at you and even under the dim street lights you could tell he was blushing. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Y/n. That was all Spider-Man. You have him to thank.”

You hummed in response leaning in closer to kiss him but just as you were about to meet him you pulled away.

“Oh... well why am I kissing you then? Where’s Spider-Man?”

"Okay! Okay!” Peter threw up his hands, giving in to your teasing. “You're welcome! You don’t have to thank me though. I would defend your honor any day.”

You smiled, pulling him in one last time by tugging on his sweatshirt. This time, meeting his lips, smiling.

“I know.”

[whisker-biscuit]

The Birds, The Bees, and The Bottles

Fandom: Psychonauts

Rating: T for mild language and discussions of underage drinking

Summary: Two teens are caught trying to sneak into a bar. Bob finally has a conversation he’s held off for far too long.

Because herbaphony is not the only thing that runs in the Zanotto family.

-------------------------------------

Bob’s phone rang at two in the morning. Judging by the jolly ringtone of Helmut singing Strawberry Fields Forever, it was his personal phone instead of his work one, and that was the real tip off to things being very, very wrong.

He woke up and groggily pulled out of his still-slumbering-husband’s arms to answer the little thing going off on his nightstand.

“H’lo?”

“Bob!” Truman’s voice came out far too loud for the time of night, and far too stressed. “Bob, I’m so sorry to wake you, but something happened with Lili. I need you to pick her up for me, please.”

The older man sat up, much more awake as worry and fear immediately rolled in his gut. Helmut finally began to stir beside him, sensing his partner’s agitation.

“Truman, what’s going on? Pick Lili up from where?”

“The city’s police precinct on Abbey Avenue. She – she called me, but I’m out of state and I wouldn’t get there for hours at least even if I left this instant. She’s not in danger!” He added hastily, hearing the concern before Bob could even voice it mentally. “She didn’t get hurt! She’s just…”

The way he tapered off, the way he hesitated, said more than words could.

“She just got herself into some trouble, and she needs someone to go get her.”

Helmut was sitting up now, and Bob felt the question cross their mental link.

 What happened?

 Truman needs me to pick Lili up from the police station.

“I’m up, I’m on my way right now,” He responded to his nephew verbally, heaving himself out of bed. His husband followed suit despite still looking extremely puzzled, bless him.

“Thank you so much, Bob. I’ll make it up to you as soon as I can, I promise.”

“Don’t worry about it.” The older man waved a dismissive hand even though Truman wasn’t there to see it. “Family is s’pposed to do that for each other anyway.”

“Did I hear that right? Our peppy petunia had a run-in with the law?” Helmut asked as soon as his partner hung up. He paused, and in a lower tone – “she didn’t kill anyone, did she?”

“I don’t think it’s that serious,” Bob said, pulling a coat on over his sleep shirt. “But something tells me we still have a few things to worry about. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Ohohoh, no, don’t even think about hoofin’ it without me. We both know I’m the better driver.”

“Neither of us are very good drivers, Helmut.”

“Exactly! That little bit makes all the difference!”

The herbophanist sighed, charmed despite himself and the situation. “Alright, alright. Let’s not keep her waiting.”

The police precinct was nearly dead at this time of night. While it would’ve felt eerie to anyone else, Bob was grateful for the lack of people, and not just because he was still an introvert of the highest degree.

Two teenagers awaited them in the lobby, sitting on a bench together. One was hunched over and burning a hole in the ground with his downcast eyes. The other sat straight up, defiant, holding a glaring contest with the officer standing over them. When Bob entered the room first and met his great-niece’s eyes, her self-assuredness wavered for a brief moment. She hid the slip-up behind a wall of indifference.

“Lili,” he said softly. Then, just as softly but with a gruff tinge of surprise; “Razputin.”

There was no accusation in his voice, but the former scowled harder and the latter looked like he wanted to employ his invisibility. Bob studied them both a moment before his husband appeared and broke the tension with his mere presence.

“We’re here to bust you out, kiddos!” He announced with spread arms, cheerfully ignoring the looks he received from every person in the room.

“Are you Truman Zanotto?” Asked the officer who finally broke his gaze away from Lili to give them a disapproving once-over.

“No, I’m uh, I’m Bob Zanotto, and this is Helmut,” came the awkward reply. “Truman called me to pick Lili up. She’s my great-niece.”

A few seconds of silence passed as the officer made no move to do anything with that information. Bob cleared his throat.

“We’re, uh, listed in her emergency contacts for school?”

“I see. If you can just fill out some paperwork first, we can release her into your custody.”

The herbophanist watched the way Raz seemed to sink further in his seat at the mention of family contacts. The Aquatos were also out of state right now too, if he remembered correctly. Perfect timing for two minors getting up to mischief.

Well, up until they were actually caught.

“And…Razputin, too?” He asked, catching the teen’s startled gaze and giving him the mental equivalent of a thumbs-up.

The officer raised a brow. “Is he related to you, too?”

“Well, uh –”

“Yep!” Helmut interrupted, strolling right up to Raz and giving him a merry clap on the back. The teen had a physique comparable to most adult Olympic athletes, but even he nearly toppled forward from the force of such a big man. “He’s my third cousin, twice removed. Big family. Very close. Holidays are an experience, lemme tell ya!”

“Fine,” the officer pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fine, okay, I’ll make sure he gets cleared for release too. I’ll be right back.”

He stalked off, muttering something about it ‘being too damn early for this’, and the older couple turned to face Raz and Lili. Helmut steepled his fingers together to rest against his mustache.

“So! Now that Officer Spoil-Sport is gone, are we allowed to know what heinous crime has been committed in the night by my favorite pair of mischief-makers?”

The two glanced at each other. Raz was the one to break their silence.

“We, uh…got caught sneaking into a bar.”

Cold heat rushed through Bob’s core. Helmut blinked once, twice, then let out a boisterous chuckle.

“That’s it? Jesus! From the way you two were acting I thought you’d robbed the First National Bank.”

“…Helmut.” His husband murmured. The psi-king lost his mirth as he caught Bob’s eye.

“Ah…w-well, y’know, while I’m certainly glad we won’t hear about a righteous homicide in the news tomorrow, forgery ain’t exactly a humble hobby either.”

“It was just two IDs,” Lili muttered under her breath. “Not a big deal.”

The ice in her great-uncle’s heart turned frigid, but before he or Helmut could say anything to that, the officer was back. He shoved a handful of forms under Bob’s nose and the herbophanist fumbled to grab them before they all tumbled to the floor.

“Uh, uh, thank you.”

“Alright, we’re putting the pause on this conversation to make you free citizens again, but don’t think that means we’re done with it.” The Psi-King gave the teens the sternest look he could manage. “As soon as we get in the car, you two will have a lot of explaining to do.”

“O-Okay.”

“Uh-huh.”

------------------------------------

No one spoke a word as they got in the car and started the drive back.

Raz seemed content to continue his efforts to blend in with the background of his seat, still not meeting anyone’s eyes, and Lili stared out the window with her chin in her hand, leaning against the car’s backdoor and letting the lights of the city bathe her in neon sickness.

Helmut, bless his soul, dutifully kept the radio going while he drove, changing the station to something more mellow whenever a song started getting a little too upbeat for the collective mood of the vehicle. Bob sat in the passenger side with his arms folded awkwardly. His brain was buzzing, dreading the inevitable conversation he needed to have with his great-niece and trying to figure out how he was going to go about it.

It surprised them all when Raz spoke over the music.

“It was my idea.”

The two adults glanced at each other, then through the rearview mirror at the fidgeting teen.

“Your idea to go looking for a drink? Or to sneak into a bar to do it?” Helmut asked, turning off the radio.

“Both.”

He still wasn’t meeting their eyes. Bob sighed through his nose.

“I don’t believe you.”

Razputin’s head finally snapped up to stare at him in shock for the fast call on his bluff. “I’m telling the truth!”

“I think you’re only telling part of it, kid.”

“No! I’m telling all of it.”

“Razpu-”

“Oh, come off it, Raz,” Lili snapped a little too loud, making the whole car jump. “Quit trying to take the fall for me. It was my idea to try the stupid fake ID thing, okay? Happy now?”

“Wh – uh, who said anything about being happy about it?” Helmut asked, legitimately confused.

“Look. Neither of us had anything to do tonight, and we were bored, so Raz suggested getting a drink somewhere, but Adam and Lizzie are out of town so we couldn’t ask them.” She crossed her arms and spoke without any inflection. “So, we went out but no one would let us do anything cause we’re minors. I thought that was stupid, because we’re agents same as any of you, so I came up with the sneaking-in part. We only got caught cause one of the bartenders recognized Raz from a show.”

There were a lot of loaded things to parse through from that explanation, but Bob’s mind stalled on one particular detail.

“Adam and Lizzie give you two alcohol?”

“Not…often,” Raz admitted. “Just once or twice, when we asked.”

“Do you mean like, a literal once or twice, or a…an estimated once or twice?”

“Did Dad put you up to this?” Lili shot back. “It was just a few times, like he said. What’s with the inquisition?”

“…Lili –”

 “Raz.”

“Okay!” Helmut proclaimed as he slapped his hand against the steering wheel in boisterous aggression. “Who wants some ice cream?”

Everyone stared at him, dumbfounded.

“Cause I’m really feeling some chocolate-vanilla swirl right now. Basic bitch style. Right? Who’s with me?”

Silence.

“Great! Look at that, open Dairy King right there, better take advantage of this opportunity before it slips through our fingers like the melting ice cream we’re all gonna have in about five minutes!”

The psi-king swung into the parking lot in a frenzy and herded the car crew inside before any of them could come out of their shock long enough to protest. It was only as Bob was staring up at fifteen flavors of oversaturated sugary goodness that he realized what had just happened.

He couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief over his husband’s diversion. The tension that had been boiling over was cooled significantly by the sudden non-sequitur, and while the teens were rather half-hearted about picking out their sweet treats, there was no longer a risk of an explosion happening.

Metaphorically and literally.

Helmut caught his spouse’s eye with a meaningful look at Lili the moment all of them had their orders in hand, then slung his arm around Razputin’s shoulders and steered him away. “C’mon my lad! Nothing like the cool night air of three in the morning to keep your Hurricane ™ properly chilled!”

The poor boy had no choice but to let himself be pulled outside, leaving the two Zanottos standing awkwardly in the dingy restaurant. Bob gave a nervous scratch at his chin under his beard.

“How about we, uh, find a seat somewhere?”

Lili couldn’t fully cross her arms while holding ice cream, but she did a good job of making it work anyway. “Sure.”

They sat in a booth in the farthest corner from the front counter. Both great-niece and great-uncle stared at their respective sweet treats as if they could teleport them out of this situation. Bob glanced out the window and saw Helmut and Raz standing outside of the car. The former was on one knee with his hand on the teen’s shoulder, speaking earnestly but inaudibly, and the latter was scuffing the toe of his sneaker against the asphalt.

“Are you going to lecture me?” Lili finally cut through the silence.

Bob turned back to her. “No. Not really.”

“No?” She broke her gaze away from her ice cream just a little bit, eyeing him with surprise. “Then why did Helmut take Raz and leave us alone?”

She was so perceptive, so smart. And yet, still so young.

“Well, I… I still want to talk to you about what happened. I’m just not very, good, at this kind of thing.” He took his spoon and absentmindedly began drawing a flower in his soft-serve. “You already know what you did wasn’t a good idea, right? So I don’t think a lecture would help things any on that front.”

She didn’t respond. He continued.

“It’s less about the fake ID and more…the reasons you made the fake ID. Does that make sense?”

“I guess so, but I know what I’m doing, Uncle Bob. I’m not going to drink irresponsibly.”

The herbophanist shook his head. “But you’ll do irresponsible things to be able to drink in the first place.”

“That’s not –” Lili didn’t have a good rebuttal. She folded her arms and grumpily started eating her cherry chocolate delight. “Whatever. It’s two different things, anyway.”

Against his better judgement, Bob began picking at his own food as he thought about how best to bring the subject back up without making the teen defensive again. Spoons clicking against teeth was the only sound between them for a solid minute.

Finally, an epiphany.

“Did Truman ever…tell you anything, about your great-grandma?”

The girl paused with a bite halfway up to her mouth. She frowned, confused. “Grandma Tia? Not much. Just that she died when he was a baby.”

“Yeah. Yeah, she did.” He ran a tired hand over his face. The ache in his heart might have long-since healed into a scar, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt when pressed. “She passed away when I was nineteen. The doctors told me it was liver failure.”

He didn’t have to say anything else. Lili’s mouth thinned and she put her spoon down, uncomfortable.

“When I…found out the reason behind her death, I was horrified by it. It didn’t make sense to me why she would willingly do something that hurt her so badly, especially when I was right there to love her and help her. It felt like a betrayal that she never got help or made herself stop. I was…disgusted by the mere thought of doing anything like that.”

Bob took a moment to breathe and wipe his eyes. He wasn’t crying, but better safe than sorry.

“It sounds pretty hypocritical when I say it now, doesn’t it?”

His great-niece only gave him a hesitant look.

“Anyway, uh, where was I…” He worried his lip. “Oh, right. I told myself that I’d never touch the stuff after that. I was angry at what she’d done, and I was determined not to have the same ‘weakness’, so to speak. As you know, it, uh, it didn’t last long. I was at a college party barely a year later when I was invited by some friends to drink with them. I didn’t make human friends very easily back then – actually, I still don’t – so I was a little desperate to keep them. It turned out to be pretty hard whiskey, so I got hammered.”

The man leaned back in his seat, staring at the patterns in the booth table.

“Back then, no one really knew how alcoholism could run in a family. Everyone thought it was a personal choice to keep drinking. It wasn’t even classified as an addiction yet. So I didn’t know how susceptible I was, or how careful I had to be. I’d spend months not having a single drink, thinking I was fine and could handle myself, and then I’d get plastered for a week at parties and bars and God knows what else, and it would take me even longer to get myself to stop again. It was like that even when I was with Ford and his gang. It wasn’t until I started dating Helmut that I started trying to change those habits. I’d never met anyone who loved me so unconditionally that I wanted to be a better person for them, until him. And it worked for a while.

“Well, barring our wedding, of course. I got shitfaced at the reception. It was embarrassing afterwards, but Helmut told me it made our cake-eating ceremony a hell of a great time.”

Lili snorted, and it was accompanied by a tiny upturn of her lips. Then it dropped as her expression became solemn. “And then…everything with Maligula happened, right?”

“Yeah. I think you know the rest of that story.”

“Uh-huh.”

Great-niece and great-uncle sat together for a while, just thinking about it all.

“I know I have to be more careful drinking than a lot of people, Uncle Bob,” Lili finally said at length. “My dad warned me about it when I was old enough to ask.”

“Truman is a good dad,” he murmured in response.

“The best dad.”

“Definitely the best dad.”

More silence.

“I didn’t mean to worry you and him,” she continued. “Or scare you. I know it was dumb to do what we did tonight.”

Bob looked at her, and she gave a conceding sigh.

“Okay, it was dumb to do a lot of what we’ve been doing with this stuff. That doesn’t mean I’m not being careful.”

“Kid, it’s not always just a matter of being careful. I thought I was being careful. I thought that for years and years, and when I finally realized I wasn’t, I convinced myself I could stop any time I wanted to, and kept up the same patterns anyway. That’s what I’m trying to get you to understand. I just don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did. I’m just worried about you.”

Lili closed her eyes with a grimace. “I know. I’m sorry, Uncle Bob.”

“Hey, kiddo, look at me.” He waited until she did so. “I’m not mad at you. I’m not disappointed, either. That’s your dad’s job. I get it, is what I’m saying. It gives you a buzz, and it’s fun and exciting, and you just wanted to have a good time with your, uh…”

Bob leaned in a bit, and dropped his voice to a stage whisper.

“Is Raz still your boyfriend?”

“Wha –” her cheeks went red. “Yes, he is!”

“Alright, sorry, I’m just always out of the loop. No one ever tells me when these things change or not. Anyway,” he continued before she could get brighter than the cherries in her ice cream. “I’m just saying that you gotta be more than careful with this kind of thing. Everyone should be, really, but especially people like us. Plants aren’t the only thing that runs in the Zanotto family, unfortunately, so we just have to be aware of it and act accordingly.”

The teen turned this over in her mind. He could practically see the gears moving. When she looked at him again, it was with a slow, contemplative nod.

“No more late-night bar-hopping?” Her great-uncle asked.

“No more late-night bar-hopping.” She answered, sincere.

“Good.” He looked outside. Helmut and Raz were both lying on the front of the car, pointing out stars to each other. The sight made him smile. “Come on, we’ll work on that whole thing about Adam and Lizzie giving you alcohol another time, when it’s not three in the morning. For now, let’s rejoin our boys again and go get some rest, okay?”

“Okay.” Lili slid out of the booth and tentatively took her family member’s hand. His fingers squeezed hers in reassurance. “And...thanks, Uncle Bob.”

“Well, what can I say. Us weird Zanotto plant people hafta look out for each other, right?”

“Right.”

They walked out together, hand-in-hand.

------------------------------

A/N: I knew from promotional material that we'd be going into the mind of someone struggling with alcoholism, but Bob's Bottles punched me hard in the gut. It's probably my favorite mind in the game, both because it's visually gorgeous and because it hit a little close to home with some of the themes, like generational alcoholism and how the addiction can make someone a shell of themselves.

I wrote half of this three weeks ago and then found myself really struggling to finish it because it brought up a lot of old feelings I thought I'd sorted through a long time ago.

Psychonauts, man.

[fandom-imagines-stories]

Notice Me

Dr. Spencer Reid x Reader

Words: 3843

Summary: A killer leaves Reid’s girlfriend on the steps of the BAU with a message for Hotchner and the team. Spencer’s judgement is clouded and it seems that the killer isn’t finished with you. 

Notes: This is a dark one guys, so please be wary of that. I wanted to do an imagine that kinda felt like a case, but also had the reader involved and everything. This is another one that I needed to split into two parts because I got a little carried away (whoops). As always, please let me know what you think!

Warnings: Trauma, gore, assault, mentions of rape and sexual assault. 

Find Reid and more crime drama imagines: HERE

-

It was late. Later than anyone should have still been at the office and yet J.J. sat in front of a pile of files on her desk. Of course, Hotch was in his office too, both having already tried to convince the other to go home. Feeling like the piles would never end, J.J.’s attention shifted from a case to the flicker of movement just outside her door. At first, the figure standing by Spence’s desk startled her, but she quickly realized that it was you. 

“Y/N?” She smiled to greet you, though her confusion was clear. 

“Agent Jareau, I didn’t know you’d be here.” It was dark, so she couldn’t quite see how strained your smile really was. 

“Please, call me J.J.” She said lightly. Ever since you’d started seeing Dr. Reid, she liked to think the two of you had become friends. You liked to think that too, which was why you had hoped she wouldn’t be here. “Spence went home a couple of hours ago.”

“Is SSA Hotchner here?” You blurted. You didn’t have much longer. Her brows furrowed. 

“Um, yeah. He basically lives here, unfortunately.” She couldn’t get another word in before you rushed past her towards Hotch’s office. It wasn’t until then that she saw how pale you looked. 

It took every ounce of strength you had not to stumble as you walked. You kept your coat closed, partially out of embarrassment and partially because you were afraid that, even now, he was watching. Hotchner was working at his desk, just like he’d predicted. You had to knock to get him to look up. 

“Agent Hotchner?” 

“Dr. Y/L/N,” He set down the notes he was looking over and stared at you with surprise. “What can I help you with?” 

“I know it’s late, but he told me I had to find you.” You leaned against one of his chairs for support. 

“Reid sent you here?” 

“No. Spencer doesn’t know I’m here. He doesn’t know anything.” You winced at the thought. Spencer had no idea. He was probably worried out of his mind. You were supposed to be at his place watching a movie. Everything had changed in the span of one evening. 

You felt something drip off of the tip of your finger. Hotchner’s eyes followed the dark liquid until it splattered on his carpet. 

“Y/N are you okay?” Hotch stood up, noticing the way you seemed to sway slightly. 

“He said I had to come here. If I didn’t, he said that whatever he did next would be my fault. He said he has a message for you.”

“Y/N, who said this?”

“I didn’t know what else to do.” You undid the button keeping your coat closed. It was getting harder to speak. “He said that this is for you. For all of you.” 

You let your coat fall off of your shoulders, revealing your bloody chest and arms. Hotch lunged towards you as you collapsed, finally succumbing to your injuries. 

“J.J. get an ambulance here now!” He screamed, desperately trying to catch you before you hit the ground. The blonde appeared in the doorway to see what was going on. 

“Oh my god.” She gasped, rushing to the nearest phone. 

Hotch’s stomach dropped, taking a closer look at the bloody gashes on your chest. Each slash was deliberately carved into the flesh, forming two words; Notice Me. 

“J.J.!” He called out again. She rushed back into the room. 

“The paramedics are on their way.” 

Hotchner’s panicked face looked up at her. 

“Call the team.”

“Y-yes sir.” Her eyes widened, taking in the entirety of your wounds. Hotch’s jaw clenched. 

“And J.J.”

“Sir?”

“Let me call Reid.” 

-

He checked his watch for the hundredth time and blew out a long breath. On the table in front of him sat the box. The box. The box that had the potential to change absolutely everything. And you weren’t here to open it. He looked at his phone for missed messages, but the last text still read ‘On my way. See you soon.’ 

Spencer nearly jumped out of his chair when his phone suddenly started to ring. He felt his body tense when he saw the number. 

“Hotch?” He answered. Part of him already knew. 

“Reid…” Hotch sighed. “Spencer, you need to get down to the hospital.” Reid closed his eyes, hoping that he was wrong. 

“It’s her, isn’t it?” 

“Something’s happened.”

“I should have known. I should have looked for her. She’s never late, Hotch. Ever. She’s actually early for pretty much everything. I should have had Garcia track her phone or have her-” In his ranting, he forgot to breathe. 

“Reid, I need you to calm down.” Hotchner instructed. He listened to Spencer take a few deep breaths. 

“Is she…”

“The doctor said that she’s lost a lot of blood, but she’s going to be okay.” He paused, making Spencer even more panicked. “Unfortunately, that’s not all we have to worry about. I’ll be able to explain more when you get here. The team is on their way.”

“Wait, the team is coming?” The turning in his stomach got worse. There’s only one reason Hotch would have called in the team. 

“Like I said, I’ll explain when you get here.” 

“Hotch-”

“I’ll see you soon.” Hotch wanted to be supportive, but they were on a time crunch now. This message meant there would be more bodies and soon. 

It took a moment for Spencer to make his feet move. Once he did, he was running. Before he knew it, he was already outside and what he saw made him stop in his tracks. Parked in front of him was your car. Five feet and you would have been inside. 

-

Morgan was the first to meet him. Normally, Spencer would have found his presence comforting, but he knew that he wasn’t just here for support. Hotchner called the team in for a reason. By the look on his face, Morgan already had an idea. 

“What happened?” Reid demanded, trying to look over his shoulder. He tried to push passed him, but Morgan held him in place. 

“We don’t know a lot. But Reid, you’re going to want to prepare yourself.”

“I don’t need a pep talk, I need to see Y/N.” His attempts to dodge around him were unsuccessful.

“He carved a message into her chest with a knife, Reid.” Morgan sighed. Spencer stopped. 

“What?” 

“Come on, Hotch can tell you more than I can.” He led Reid back to a waiting area where a few other members of the team had gathered. Rossi was still on his way, and so was Prentiss., but Garcia, J.J., and Hotch were grouped together in the far corner. Garcia and J.J. were looking at something on her computer while Hotch sat with his eyes closed. 

He was trying to remember every last detail from when you walked in to when you collapsed. He knew something was wrong and he should have acted sooner. He analyzed every single word that you said, trying to piece everything together. 

“He said that this is for you. For all of you.”

Notice me. 

“Hotch.” Morgan called to get his attention. Everybody looked up and saw that he was joined by Reid. 

“Oh my god.” Penelope immediately stood and rushed over to them. She had definitely been crying. Spencer had forgotten that the two of you were friends. You were friends with the whole team, really. She enveloped Spencer in a tight hug. “When J.J. called, I couldn’t believe it.” She took a deep breath to compose herself. “We are going to figure this out and everything is going to be okay.” 

“Babygirl, let the kid breathe.” Morgan gently pulled her way from him. Spencer just stared off into nothing. 

“Her car is outside my apartment building.” He said blankly. “She was coming over to watch…” His gaze fell to the floor. “She was there. She was at my apartment and he took her.” 

“Spence, this isn’t your fault.” J.J. put a hand on his shoulder. “You couldn’t have known that he was out there.” 

Before he could respond, Garcia’s computer made a sound. She seemed almost afraid to look. When she did, her face dropped. 

“Is there a pattern?” Hotch sighed. She nodded, trying to keep calm. 

“Four bodies have been found in Maryland and Virginia. All of them were bound with duct tape, their necks were slashed and they were all raped.” She could barely say all of it without getting sick. She looked up at Spencer frantically. “But none of them had any messages or anything like that so maybe this isn’t the same guy. If it was the same guy, why would he…”

“Why would he leave her alive.” Spencer finished, closing his eyes. He couldn’t stop his brain from picturing every scenario, manifesting every scream. 

“I’m going to go see if the doctors can tell us anything.” J.J. said, giving Spencer a reassuring look. Reid finally looked at Hotch. He couldn’t help but stare at the blood that stained the front of his superior’s shirt. 

“What happened?” He didn’t think anything could be worse than what he already imagined. Hotch motioned for him to have a seat. 

“Whoever did this wanted to send us all a message. He told her that if she didn’t get to my office, that whatever he did afterwards would be her fault. He wanted to make sure I saw what he did.” 

“Morgan said that he-” Spencer took a sharp breath but was able to keep calm, distracting himself by picking at his nails. “He said that she had something carved into her chest?”

“Like I said, he wanted to make sure that I saw.” Hotch sighed. “He wrote ‘Notice Me’.” Everyone fell silent, each trying to wrap their heads around the situation. 

“Hotch,” J.J. returned, her expression betraying her concern, “She said she’s ready for questions.”

“Can you handle it?” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I should stay here and look over the cases Garcia found.” 

“Of course.” J.J. paused before looking at Spencer. “She said she would like you to be there, Spence.” 

“O-okay.” He rose slowly, his nerves barely allowing him to move. Morgan gave him a supportive pat on the back before Spencer followed J.J. to your room. Every step he took made his heart pound harder. He’d heard countless statements from victims, analyzed the most gruesome crime scenes imaginable, but he had never been this paralyzed before. 

The two agents opened the door to find you struggling out of the hospital bed while a nurse tried to get you to lay back down. 

“I appreciate everything, really, but I’m not going to sit here all night. I need to find-” Your argument with your nurse quickly came to a halt. “Spencer.” 

“The doctor said you were ready to answer a couple of questions.” J.J. gave you a small smile, pulling a chair up next to your bed. “He told me you wanted Spencer with you.” She looked back at Reid, who was still standing in the doorway. 

He just stood there and stared. Your face was bruised and a bandage covered an injury on your forehead- probably the blow that your attacker used to overtake you. Bandages covered your arms and he could see more under the collar of the hospital gown. You were shaking, the color from your skin faded and cold. Seeing him made your eyes water. 

“Spencer, I-”

“You were late.” He blurted. He started to fidget with his nails. “I mean, I thought you were late. Even though you are never late for anything. You didn’t call or text me or anything and I still didn’t look for you. I should have looked for you. I-” His words caught in his throat. 

You shrugged off the nurses hands and walked towards him, trying not to wince as you raised a hand to rest on his cheek. He had tears in his eyes and you could tell he was desperately trying to keep them back. 

“Spencer, this isn’t your fault.” You said softly. He leaned into your touch and closed his eyes, trying to stop imagining what happened in that goddamn hour that that man would have had you. 

“Dr. Y/L/N, you really need to be laying down.” The nurse insisted. Spencer opened his eyes and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead. 

“She’s right. Come on.” He took your hand and led you back to the bed, helping to tuck you in under the blanket. He sat in a chair across from J.J. and kept your hand in his. 

“Are you ready?” J.J. asked patiently. You nodded nervously. J.J. smiled reassuringly. “If you want to stop at any point, just let me know, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

“What were you doing before you were attacked?” 

“I was driving to Spencer’s apartment.to watch a movie and have dinner.” You glanced over at your boyfriend. “I parked in front and walked towards the door, but I didn’t get there.” 

“Were there cars already parked when you got there?” 

“I-I think so.” You closed your eyes, trying to envision the scene, but all you could see was his face and with his face came the pain and the terror. “Oh god, I see him.”

“Stay with me, Y/N.” J.J. kept her voice as calm as possible when inside her heart was breaking for you and for the anguished Reid across from her. “Do you remember the cars?” 

“Breathe with me, Y/N.” Spence instructed, kissing the palm of your hand. You calmed down enough and focused on the sound of his voice. “Breathe in. Breathe out.” You exhaled slowly and nodded. 

“There was a van.” 

“What color was it?”

“It was dark, but not black. Blue maybe? I don’t know, I only saw it for a second.” 

“That’s okay.” J.J. said. She exchanged a look with Spencer. Now came the hard part. “What did you do when you got out of your car? Did you see anyone?”

“No, it was just me. I walked towards the door, but something hit me. Someone was dragging me away from the door. The next thing I knew, I was in a van.” 

“Do you see anything?”

“There’s something on the walls. Some kind of padding. A-and on the back of the seat, there’s this jacket. A  women’s jacket. It was red.”

“What else can you see?”

“I see him.” A tear escaped your eye and fell silently down your cheek. “He-he’s leaning over me and he’s-” You paused and listened to the sound of Spencer’s breathing. You wanted to open your eyes and look at him. You wanted to see his face instead of the creature that did this to you. But you needed to do this. “He’s unbuttoning my shirt.” 

“Do you remember feeling the van move at all before he did this?” 

“No. No, he didn’t drive until after.” You felt Spence’s grip on your hand tighten. J.J. watched him carefully, reading the pain on his face. “He said something while he was taking it off. He said he ‘didn’t have enough time’ and he ‘couldn’t do it now.’ He said he wanted it to be special. That I was special.” 

“Was he wearing a mask or a hood?”

“No, I could see his face. That face…” You held back a cry. Spencer held back the urge to wrap his arms around you. “That’s when he took out the knife and started carving this.” You put a hand on your chest. “He said I was his messenger.” Your heart was starting to race and you started to hyperventilate. “He… he kissed each cut as he made them and then he would kiss me.” 

You finally opened your eyes and almost wished that you hadn’t. Spencer was crushed. There were tears on his face and utter horror in his eyes. You had to look away. 

“Well… you know the rest.” 

“You did great, Y/N.” J.J. reassured you. “Do you think you’d be able to give a description to a sketch artist?” Despite your efforts to keep it still, your lip started to tremble. 

“D-do you think I can sleep first? I’m so tired.” You hadn’t realized how exhausted you were until now.  

“Of course. Just let me know whenever you’re ready, okay?” She glanced over at Spencer with a supportive smile before she left to join the others in the waiting room. You couldn’t bear to look at the pain you had caused him. 

“Maybe you should go with her.” You muttered, staring blankly at your lap, more tears threatening to spill onto your cheeks. You had brought him in here because you knew you needed him to get through this, but you hadn’t thought about what it would do to him. 

Spencer tried not to show the hurt on his face, but he wasn’t successful. He let go of your hand and stood up. 

“Let me know if you need anything.” His voice barely came out above a whisper. Any louder and he was sure it would have cracked. You watched the way his shoulders sagged as he walked, like he was carrying the weight of what had happened over his shoulder. You grabbed his hand before he got far. 

“Spence, wait.” You motioned for him to come closer and held his hand against your heart. When his skin grazed against the cuts in your chest, it didn’t hurt. If anything, it eased the sting. “I love you.” 

A small, lopsided smile appeared on his lips. Suddenly the box in his jacket pocket weighed more. 

“I love you too.” 

-

Once Rossi and Prentiss arrived, Hotchner briefed the team on what their next step should be. Reid, however, was nowhere to be found, which had made everybody worry. He sent Morgan and Prentiss to the latest murder crime scene to see if this really was the same unsub. Garcia went back to the BAU, but Rossi and J.J. stayed 

“Do you think she’ll be okay?” Rossi asked, setting down a cup of terrible hospital coffee. It was almost morning now and no one had gotten any sleep. 

“From what she told us, it isn’t over yet.” J.J. sighed. “He told her that she’s special. He’s going to come back for her.” 

“And we will be here when he does.” Hotch stared down at the array of photos from the previous crime scenes. He was usually good about separating his emotions from a case, but this was an attack against his team. This was made to be personal. 

Hotch started down the hall, turning the corner and stopping. He noticed movement in the corner of his eye and turned around. Reid sat on the floor with his back pressed against the side of a vending machine and legs crossed in front of him. His face was sullen and tear stained.

“Hey,” He greeted, immediately stiffening and whipping his face with his sleeve. He stood and brushed off. Hotch noticed the way his hands shook. “Have you guys found anything yet?” 

“Morgan and Prentiss are heading to the latest crime scene. Based on what Y/N told you and J.J. about the attack, it could be the same unsub, but we don’t want to make any conclusions yet.” 

Reid nodded quickly, keeping his gaze trained on the floor. 

“Maybe I should go with them. I might get a better-”

“This isn’t your fault, Reid.” Hotch interrupted. He knew exactly where the younger agent’s mind was. “That is what he wants you to believe, but it isn’t your fault.” 

“I…” Spencer knew that arguing with him was pointless. He just looked defeated. “I have to do something, Hotch.” 

“The doctors will likely release Y/N in a couple of hours. We’ll need to get her somewhere safe. You should stay with her.” Hotch knew how the guilt was weighing down on him. He put a hand on his shoulder. “We’re all here for you, Reid. You and Y/N. We aren’t going to stop until we catch this man.” 

“Thanks, Hotch.” Spencer sniffed. More than anything, he wanted to take you home and never let you leave his embrace. Reid leaned down to pick up his jacket from the floor, wincing when a small velvet box clattered to the tile. Hotch picked it up for him. 

“Reid…” He proceeded with caution, but there was a warmhearted tone in his voice. “Is what I think it is?” He handed it to Spencer who hurriedly stuffed it back into his pocket. 

“Actually it’s a-” He stopped and gave him his awkward lop-sided smile. “I was going to ask her tonight.”

“I didn’t know you were ready to take that step.” 

“Neither did I.” Spencer laughed nervously. “But ever since I met her, I just knew. I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.” He put his hand in his pocket, feeling the box in his fingers. Tonight was supposed to be so different. Hotch’s usually serious expression broke into a small, proud smile. 

Hotch’s mind returned to the case and he started back down the hallway. Spencer walked towards your room, pausing when his phone rang. 

“Dr. Reid.” He answered. For a moment, there was just breathing on the other end. Before he hung up, a low, raspy voice spoke. 

“I won’t be ignored anymore, Dr. Reid. You all notice me now.” 

Reid took off running. He found Garcia in the waiting area and pointed urgently at his cell phone before continuing the call. 

“You’re right. You have our full attention.”

“I know that little trick. Make me think I’m in control so your pretty little tech can trace this call. I learned from the best.” He chuckled deeply. “You won’t find me until I want you to.” There was a brief pause, like he was stopping for effect. “I was just calling to ask you some questions, Dr. Reid.”

“I’m not nearly as interesting as you are.” Reid tried to keep his tone even as he watched Garcia scramble to trace the call. 

“Could you hear her screaming?” His voice was like nails on a chalkboard. “I want to make sure that those soundproofing panels worked. She kept calling out for you over and over and over…” 

“You want us to know who you are, why don’t you tell me your name?” 

“Tell me, have you had her yet, Dr. Reid?” His suggestive voice made Spencer’s blood boil. “I’m dying to know what it’s going to be like when I have enough time with Y/N.” 

“You won’t get that chance.” He finally spat, losing control. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll take better care of her than I did those other girls. I look forward to meeting you, Spencer.” Just like that, the line went dead.

-

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