#in order its a sarcastic fringehead

[hearts401]

some freaky lil ocean guys im taking inspo from for monsters island au

[illneverrecover]

11 questions

I was tagged by @zombolouge (whose answers were fantastic, by the way, the fucking dinosaur answer IM DYING). 

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1. You have successfully cloned yourself. What is the first thing you will ask your clone to do? 

Oh god. Wait, I have questions - does my clone have all of my current knowledge? Or, are they like a baby infant clone that doesn’t know the ways of the world? If the former, I’d make her go to work for me/run my errands/babysit so I can stop paying for daycare and maybe go on a damn date with my husband. I’m lame, but I’m also LAZY AF so this would be my dream. 

If the latter, I would just immediately start fucking with everyone, mostly my husband. Like, have her be a secret but bring her out in casual situations until he noticed, or take a bunch of weird sensual selfies of us together and send them to him. 

I also keep thinking about how if he cloned himself I’d be all  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) at first but then he just told me that it would give him double the opportunity to fuck with me and now this is like one of my top 10 nightmares, a husband clone.

We’re assholes.

2. You have to change your name, BY LAW, and you get to choose what it will be. The catch? It can only be from JRPGs created in the last 2 years. SO, WHO ARE YOU GOING TO BECOME?

I had to google what a JRPG is because I’m a dingus and had no idea??? SO I literally based this off of what the character looked like, their name, and what their wiki said their personality was bc I know nothing

I hear that Fire Emblem is a JRPG and based off of the above criteria I pick Severa cause it seems like she’s a sarcastic a-hole that people put up with and that describes me pretty well.  SORRY IF THIS BREAKS THE RULES IDK WHAT IMD OING

3. When was the last time you got so happy you screamed and kicked your feet a lil’ bit like a cartoon character?

Either when I read Chapter 2 of The Artist (a la @zombolouge) or when I got fan art from @la-saffron IT IS A TOSS UP

Also yesterday a patient told me that I was a blessing and I smiled like a dork the rest of the day.

4. What the fuck is wrong with ducks?

They’re all bitter that they’re smaller, stouter swans that no one likes.

5. What are your three least favorite synonyms for “balls”?

In no particular order: gonads, nards, and coin purse

6. You have been tasked with saving the Bees. All of them. FUCKING DO IT, THEY ARE ENDANGERED OMG.

Oh my bbs, YES I WILL SAVE YOU COME TO MY BOSOM no wait that might hurt but come to my home I will shelter you and cook you bee friendly foods yes

7. YOU HAVE TEN SECONDS, THE CLOCK IS TICKING, DON’T MESS IT UP: What is your favorite animal?

UNICORNS!! AH IM NOT GOOD UNDER PRESSURE EITHER PANDAS OR DOGGOS

8. If you could be any deep sea horror, which one would you be and why?

I’d be a Sarcastic Fringehead bc firstly, the name says it all, secondly because look at this motherfucker: 

9. My autocorrect really wants to change “Cthulhu” to “Cathleen”. If Cathleen were an eldritch horror, what do you think would be her worst attribute?

Cathleen would be one of those people who can’t tell when people feel awkward and so she tells everyone super personal stories about herself within the first few meetings, and then complains that no one likes her/that she has no friends. 

10. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck were a 50-foot tall robot with the fur of a thousand moose plastered to its cold, chrome exterior?

11. You’re going to the family reunion. Are you:

a) the gay cousin

b) the drunk aunt

c) uncle “ate all the fucking fried chicken again” Sal,

d) scene teen

e) someone’s mom on the verge of an anxiety attack because god dammit Percy, you can’t just put things down your pants in public you’re embarrassing me and that was a whole bowl of jello

f) drunk but not an aunt

g) an orphan and very lonely

h) the weird third cousin who farms llamas and won’t stop talking about it but for the love of God, Harold, no one wants a fucking sweater

i) the one that takes Monopoly really seriously

j) auditioned for the Bachelor/Bachelorette and was told they would be called. They weren’t.

k) dad who is aggressively proud of his gay son and needs everyone to hear about it

l) the aunt with lipstick that is kinda melting but nobody wants to tell her

m) the rich one

n) the one that can’t stand the rich one because you didn’t fucking earn it, Sasha, get a fucking grip

o) the Cat Person

p) the Dog Person

q) A Slytherin

r) The Hufflepuff that insists they’re really a Gryffindor

s) licking all the frosting all the cupcakes and then just leaving them there what the fuck, Josh

t) Not Anyone’s Real Dad Todd

u) The Sane One

v) hitting on their cousin, but only to piss off their mom

w) The anime fan

x) the inter-dimensional traveler who disappears mysteriously as soon as someone starts talking about tracking “strange readings” to a blue police box

y) The Artist

z) fucking done

I’d be a mixture of b) drunk aunt, p) dog person (though really i’m just an animal person so I don’t discriminate), q) a SLYTHERIN  and z) fucking done, because that’s my natural state tbh.

MY 11 QUESTIONS:

1. What’s one story you’ve always wanted to share (about whatever), but didn’t really have a reason to?

2. Marry, Fuck, or Kill: Seven, Jumin, Zen? annnnnnddd GO

3. What do you wanna be when you grow up?

4. What was the last thing you were thinking about? Don’t lie, it was dicks, wasn’t it? (If not, what about now?)

5. What is your reason for getting out of bed every morning?

6. Did you know that I love you?

7. Do you have any pets? Tell me about them!

8. Who do you have tumblr crushes on?

9. Name one thing in the past week that you’ve done that’s made you proud?

10. Give me three recommendations of anything you like: video games, movies, shows, anime, books, etc etc JUST MAKE IT GOOD OK??

11.  What are your favorite cuss/curse words?

I TAG: @nokindofangel, @la-saffron, @yoosungshoodie, @godd707, or whoever wants to do this just DO IT DO ITTTTTTTTTT