#in my notes I called it the anti-priest because I never figured what the fuck to call it

[rayclubs]

The best fantasy religion I've ever come up with was Death worship by a devoted necromancer. In that universe Death was an obscure yet definitely real entity, and my necromancer acted as its priest, except his duty was keeping people AWAY from his patron. He would wander the world, kind of like a monk on a pilgrimage, and educate the public about how vengeful Death is, how it operates, how curses are born, how to ward malevolent spirits off, and many other such things. He'd perform funeral rites and see that the dead were taken care of properly, he'd exorcise those who couldn't cross over themselves, and yeah, he would raise the dead, but there was always so much dignity and fairness to it, he would actually make pacts with the dead to get permission to call upon them before he dared to disturb them, and he'd always see to it that they returned underground after he no longer needed them. All to keep people away from ever ever crossing paths with his patron God, who wasn't even malevolent, just naturally detrimental to human existence.

When inventing a fantasy religion a lot of people a) make the mistake of assuming that everyone in fantasy world would worship the same gods and b) assume that polytheistic religions see all of their gods as morally good

[tessatechaitea]

Cerebus #17 (1980)

Oh! This is the issue where we learn that the toughest motherfuckers in Estarcion are priests!

What is the statute of limitations for stealing from nuns because have I got a story for my memoir! That's as close to an anecdote as I have for a comic book cover with a priest on it. At least I think that's a Tarimite priest and I think that was an anecdote (albeit a mysterious one!). It's been awhile since I've read Cerebus and I've certainly never seen most of these covers. You know how you can tell most Christians have never read The Bible? Because they're still Christian. I swear to fucking Christ it's the most ridiculous motherfucking thing I've ever read and I've read the later Xanth novels! I don't detect any hint of animosity or marital regret in Deni's "A Note from the Publisher." That just means I didn't find anything worth discussing since I'm inherently a 7th grade gossip. Dave Sim's Swords of Cerebus essay discusses sitcom television and how important it is to keeping everybody's minds diluted to the point of inefficacy. His major point is that it's easy to watch a four hour block of sitcoms without your brain coming up with one thought of its own. Obviously that's the lure of television. But what's not so obvious to most people is that it's not the show or the writing or the sitcom that's keeping you from having your own thoughts about them (although, granted, some aren't worth any thoughts at all). It's the block of time spent sitting and watching them one after the other. If a show offers an intelligent story line commenting on the troubles of our daily lives, the viewer has not time to process what they have just seen. They simply move on to the next show dumped into their viewing trough while whatever they just watched is dumped out the back of the brain to make room for the next character slipping on a banana peel causing Mr. Roper to smile mischievously at the camera because obviously that's what a gay person would do. This way of watching television mindlessly was probably more pertinent to the last century; now we are in full control of everything we watch and have ample time to pause a show or movie and discuss important and relevant bits rather then letting them simply disappear in the flicker of afterimages. Although, we sort of live in a binge culture now and watch entire shows in one sitting so we can move on to the next one. I miss the amount of discussion to be had during the week while waiting for the next episode of Wiseguy or Twin Peaks or Three's Company. Okay, maybe not that last one. What was there to discuss about that show other than why the fuck a landlord had any say in the roommate two women choose to share their apartment with?! If you read Dave Sim's essay, right now you'd be wondering, "How the fuck did that essay cause you to write those thoughts?!" Look, a digression isn't a digression because it's pertinent to the current narrative! Lay off me!

Oh, I guess this one isn't the one with the bad-ass priest (is that even one? Who can tell anymore? My brain is Swiss porridge); it's the one with the terrible German accents.

Cerebus left Palnu with a horse and eight bags of gold. When this issue begins, it's three weeks later and he's down to just the eight bags of gold. The horse had a minor accident which left Cerebus dragging bags of gold across a landscape turned muddy from torrential rains. To get out of the rain so that this issue doesn't devolve into multiple "Gee, what stinks?!" jokes, Cerebus purchases a hovel from some peasants for four pieces of gold. That's where he's relaxing when the big dumb German guys come knocking on his door. Cerebus learns that the Germans (or T'gitans or something. I feel like they're not really ever mentioned again. Not like the Hsifans or the Pavrovians) are about to invade Palnu which piques Cerebus' interest because Lord Julius was a huge pain in the ass and it would probably be funny to see his fall from power. Or maybe Cerebus just has ADHD. The guy on the cover I thought was a priest is some guy named Commander Krull. He's grim and large and dour and he's the kind of guy I thought of as a grown man when I was a kid. I will soon be 49 and I learned years ago that I'll never think of myself as the way I used to picture grown men. That's not a bad thing! I'm just commenting on the delusions that grow within the minds of children. When I was a child, I'm sure I subconsciously categorized every grown man in my life as "Man" or "adult male." I believe there was always a bit of fear that came along with the adults whom I though of as Men. It's probably why I loved old men so much because they were somehow broken through the other side of "Man" and were back to being child-like. If you're confused by my definitions of what I thought a Man was, I'd say it would have been people like Mr. Cunningham or James Evan Sr. or Pa Ingalls or Grizzly Adams or Sgt. Carter from Gomer Pyle or Mr. Banks from Mary Poppins. Men who didn't register as "Men" were Bert from Mary Poppins (hell, just about any character Dick Van Dyke played. He was too playful to be a Man), Jack Tripper, Gene Wilder as anybody, Roddy McDowall as anybody, Lenny & Squiggy. Maybe I was just intimidated by men with broad shoulders? It's sort of sad that one of the main qualities that made a male figure in my life "manly" was if they intimidated me. And yes, for those of you who actually think about shit I just wrote that you just read, Mr. C scared the bejesus out of me.

This is the face of a man who grew up thinking, "I have to be masculine or I am nothing!"

Just to be clear: I don't give a fucking toss about masculinity. All that nonsense about what makes a man a real man is simply philosophical wanking of the most boring kind. But that doesn't mean you aren't inordinately influenced by that shit while growing up, especially when your father left at two and all of your adult male role models were on television. I may have been intimidated by Mr. C and James Evans Sr and Pa Ingalls but thank fucking Christ for them because I knew at least three adult males cared about me for a small amount of time each week! Cerebus realizes Krull, disguised as a priest, has snuck out of the town for reinforcements. Cerebus' big plan is to not let that happen! My instincts are to call him a genius even though the plan seems pretty obvious. That's probably because Cerebus is a fictional character and I can lavish praise on him without feeling jealous and petty and upset that nobody is calling me a genius. I mean, why aren't they? Have I not criticized enough comic books to be regarded as a genius? Am I misunderstanding the definition of the word?!

Cerebus uses the priest disguise against Krull. Genius!

Like when he defeated the leader of the Eye of the Pyramid in Palnu, Cerebus uses trickery instead of force to defeat Krull. I mean, both are knocked out by a rock to the head which I suppose is force but Cerebus uses tricks to get the opportunity to smash rocks into their heads. Having defeated Krull, Cerebus and the T'gitans conquer Fluroc, putting pressure on Lord Julius to raise an army quickly (since his current army is on the Onliu border which is, I suppose, super far away and stuff). I guess next issue Lord Julius and Cerebus go to war! I can't believe I don't remember this story! I mean, I remember the Krull encounter but I'd forgotten it had anything to do with Cerebus waging war against Palnu. Another excerpt of Michael Loubert's "The Aardvarkian Age" appears this issue. It's as dry as reading an Associated Press rendition of a historical event. I'm not sure why I thought these things would be entertaining when I got to them. Cerebus is funny; why isn't the history of the world of Estarcion?! Aardvark Comment isn't interesting yet. It's still people praising this little rinky-dink comic book operation for surviving over a year. I can't wait until Dave starts pissing off fans and then arguing with them! Cerebus #17 Rating: B. This story seemed incomplete. Probably because it's just the first part! But also it seemed anti-climactic or a hodge-podge of semi-related scenes. It was like a sketch show! It had some pretty solid jokes but overall I just kind of felt like I'd have been better off spending the time eating a box of Oreos.

[meridianrose]

“Last Temptation of Midnight”

Not a full review more of an overview and a rant.

Midnight continues to be both entertaining and to increasingly piss me off.

Manfred running away because he's scared of his destiny; acceptable. Manfred running away because his dull love interest broke up him; not acceptable. The latter implies he doesn't even care about saving the town (the world?) or anyone else. None of his friends matter, just the woman he's been screwing. And few things piss me off as much as the false relationship hiearcharcy of "person you're screwing" at the top and every other relationship way down below.

Xylda tells him she had a vision of his destiny but didn't do enough to prepare him. Very trope-y, the unprepared/reluctant hero. Not buying teetotal Xylda, she's one of the few non-Puritans in the Harris novels. Nasty "be sober at all times if you have a child" vibe. She was smoking a hookah pipe in one episode for God's sake. And I seem to recall her chainsmoking in the Grave Secret novels. Hence the throat cancer. Would have been better off giving up the cigarettes than the gin. The flashbacks show her affection but also failings in raising a psychic.

With no pills left, no phone reception, and the van broken down, Manfred starts walking. He veers off the path, a good use of tropes around the dangers of leaving the trail and the spirtual experience of a walkabout.

Back in town things are getting nasty. This seems to be drawing on the final book of the trilogy, where people are ritualistically commiting suicide at the crossroads to bring forth the demon (according to the blurb and my knowledge of the other books). Crossroads are a mystical power source, traditionally. Fiji prevents a suicide. Everyone meets in the church. They need to do something. Joe's taken Chuy out of town before his demon-half takes over, Manfred's run away. It's up to them. Also Creek's father left her the deed to the house so she can move the hell out of Manfred's place. The only sensible thing for her to do at this point is to rent/sell that property and leave town, go to college as she wanted, far from the demon. But her sole job is to be the thin white girlfriend so she's going to stay :/

The "priest" hoping to ressurect the demon is killing people on the way to Midnight, stealing their faces and has stolen a van to put the bodies in to offer them as a sacrifice. When Manfred's RV breaks down he wanders off to get help.

Not buying Manfred's withdrawl either. Don't know how many painkillers he was taking but he had one left and it would take a while for symptoms to kick in I think (and he gets over it pretty quick too). His vomiting and brief collapse serves as the episode's Manfred whump which happens every episode. I'm not complaining about the whump, far from it, though some more hurt/comfort than outright whump would be nice too.

While Manfred is lying in the sand Xylda appears, no longer tethered to the van, to encourage him and then pass over. They don't even get a proper goodbye (she says they spent a year doing it when she was dying from cancer). Manfred staggers off, no longer in withdrawal, possibly hypothermic, hasn't even had a drink - his RV frige always had beer and soda in it, why didn't he take something with him before he wandered off into the desert.

I bet we'll never really address Manfred's grief. He may have mourned before but she was still with him and now she's gone. And Xylda was a great character and I'm annoyed they wrote her out and I'll come back to that later.

Manfred flags down the creepy priest but sees the ghosts of the dead. He jumps from the vehicle and runs but secretly doubles back and hides in the back with the bodies. He finds a cellphone and calls Fiji, who's glad to hear from him. He warns her that the bodies are being brought to raise the demon.

Fiji makes a potion to stop people being compelled by the demon who's going after the supernatural and the humans who are sad. The Rev is eating meat while Lem gets hungry for Olivia's blood. Lem and Olivia have a fight. He wants to turn her. She doesn't want it. I'd have preferred him just being overwhelmed by his hunger and unable to control himself at all, that would be easier to forgive I think. It's very physical. Olivia's a badass but she's still just a human female. It's brutal to watch in places. Also how/why bother to cut her hair during this situation?!

Creek wanders around being Sad and the poor acting really shows here. Maybe a better actor would give the one dimensional character more depth. Manfred arrives seconds before she kills herself for the demon. "Creek's not the only one acting out of characer," Fiji says, dosing her with the antidote to compulsion. You call that acting? Character? OOC?

Manfred goes to help distribute the antidote and sprays Lem before he can turn Olivia. He asks them to table whatever "this is" until they deal with the demon.

All the bodies are piled up to bring forth the demon. It's called Colconnar which might help them defeat it, to know what they're dealing with. It wants Fiji. Manfred calls on the spirits of the dead to help. Together they shove the priest into the flames. Fire comes forth, Manfred pulling Fiji back in a hug, a moment I loved. They're safe for the moment but the sacrifice has been made. Bobo promises he won't let the demon take Fiji.

Manfred's RV is still in the desert. I hope he gets it back. Lots of his stuff is still in there - most of the occult items were stored there. Manfred sums up Xylda's loss as "Xylda moved on. Which is how it's supposed to be." Really show? That’s it? In an attempt to show she's not completely devoid of affection Creek asks if he's okay. Manfred's going without pills despite headaches. You could get some over the counter stuff you idiot instead of completely going without. And maybe Fiji has something that can help or a book that can teach you to better manage your abilities.

Creek asks "Why did you come back?"

"I had to come back, it's my destiny to save the town, prevent this demon from entering our world. I had to protect my friends." Is not what Manfred says even though it's true he finally accepted his destiny and at the start of the show the writers acknowledged Manfred's friendships instead of pushing only Creek at him.

"I came back so I can stick my penis in you when you stop sulking." Is not what Manfred says but what the writers mean. They're obsessed with this dull ship - why does he like her? Unattached white girl is all she's got going for her. We never see them talk about anything but her fucked up family (now all gone) and how that impacts on their screwing. Not a single shared interest or complentary quality between them. Why should I care about them? I rewatched "Deadpool" this week. Wade/Vanessa is a ship rooted in sex but they have more than that. He takes her on a date when he's paid for sex that first time. They're both geeks. They play a "whose life is worse" game as flirty banter. She's determined to save him when he's diagnosed while he's resigned. He leaves to spare her seeing him suffer (she's rightfully angry) and won't return because he thinks she can't love his damaged face (he's wrong). In an anti-hero action movie there is the love story the trailer promised and they make me believe they love each other.

"Naked truth? Um What you and I started, it's, um I never felt that with anyone." Is what Manfred does say because he's goddamn obsessed with her for no earthly reason (supernatural reason? I'd buy that :P) "And I I get that a lot's happened, and I get that you need time to process, and I'll give you that time. But when, or if, you ever feel ready to pick up where we left off, well you know where I live." aka please resume our fucking. "Besides, my RV's dead"  pretty sure you can find a mechanic. Stop taking away everything from Manfred’s pre-Creek life. Let him stay because he wants to, not because his van is broken down. "and Midnight's as close to a home as I've ever had" FINALLY SOME ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF THAT "so I figure, if the veil to hell is opening, might as well stay, fight for it." Don’t sound too enthusiastic about saving the world Manfred! :P

Final note about Xylda: it comes off that he doesn't need her now because he has Creek. Once again, "person you're screwing" over all other relationships. If you have to sideline or erase all other relationships to push your ship, you're doing it wrong. Give me the close friend as well as the lover. That way when things get tough they have other people to talk to. Your lover should be your friend but you should have other people in your life.

Joe will come back next episode yes, because can at least one of the only confirmed gay/non-straight characters* make another appearance please and who better to fight a demon than a fallen angel? *Bisexual Olivia? Bisexual Fiji? Bisexual Bobo? And do we know if Joe and Chuy are gay or bi? What about the Rev? Is Lem straight? Still here for actually asexual Manfred, bisexual Manfred, or Grey-ace Bi Manfred. Here for many diverse sexual and romantic orientations (biromantic heterosexual Fiji?). Just not here for the bland “because we said so” ships.