#in my feels T-T this fic is so important to me ldjhkgh

[euphor1a]

Yin to my yang | jjk

↬ pairing: jungkook x f!oc

↬ genre: best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, hurt/comfort, fluff, smut.

↬ summary: “I don’t wanna sound cliché or anything, but you are the yin to my yang, y’know what I mean?”

Or, Jeon Jungkook was your knight in shining armor since the moment he entered your life. From being your rock during the toughest times, to being the most supportive and proud best friend imaginable, he was everything and beyond. Until now, that is, because you need to tell him how you feel before it’s too late, and the more you look at Jungkook, the more scared you are of messing it up. Little do you know that he’s on the very same boat.

↬ rating: 18+ (minors dni)

↬ word count: ~8.9K

↬ warnings/tags: character death, grief/mourning, mentions of controlling partner; explicit sexual content: profanity, dom/sub undertones, praising, dirty talk, pet names, breast play, fingering, cunnilingus, big d*ck!jk (cause yEAH), unprotected penetrative sex, creampie, rough sex, etc. — this is a work of fiction, and it doesn’t represent jungkook in any way!

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˗ˏˋ꒰ 🌺 a/n ꒱ this is something i’m really proud of /srs 🥺! happy holidays everyone, i hope this sweet little story reaches your hearts 💗! be mindful of the pov changes and flashbacks though (hope they are not too confusing)! and, enjoy! (banner cr.)

[You, 9:42 pm] gguk? can you come over, please? 

[You, 9:44 pm] well, if possible…

He must be busy packing and preparing for next week. Your grip on the phone tightens at the thought, eyes taking in the intricate details of its protective case with a thrumming pain in your chest. This artsy case was made by Jungkook several months back. He’s always been amazing at painting and craft, and when he saw the trend of hand-painted phone cases, he just had to make matching ones for his and your phone. You remember the proud smile on your best friend’s face when you told him that you loved it so much.

“This is… perfect, Gguk. I’m at a loss of words. I love this. I love you.” 

He wraps you up in a tight hug, chin resting on your head as he rocks you both side to side. “I’m so glad to hear that, muffin. I love you very much too.” 

Letting out a shaky breath, you look up at the dark expanse of the night sky above you. The half-moon shines bright with almost no clouds around, paired up with countless stars embedded like diamonds on the dark velvet. It truly looks so mesmerizing, crafted with such care, as if nature knew which collective placement will be the best beforehand. A small smile curls your lips gently. It reminds you of his eyes. You can go on and on about how Jungkook has the most beautiful eyes. On the other hand, Jungkook strongly disagrees, debating that yours are much more hypnotic and gorgeous. A fond sigh escapes your lips, the heaviness inside your heart seemingly increasing.

Your right hand unconsciously takes hold of the yin locket placed right over your chest, which dangles from a silver chain. The yang one belongs to him, and you mindlessly wonder if he’s wearing it right now. When he bought these last year on valentine’s, he made it clear that he wants to wear them always and forever. Something you had agreed to do too. You can still vividly picture the wide grin plastered on his face during the whole ordeal.

An involuntary shiver runs down your spine when you remember how his hot breath had fanned over your neck, his long fingers closing the clasp of the chain before gripping on your shoulder. He was beyond happy and proud of himself. 

Within a certain distance between each other, the magnets inside the pendants lock them in; putting yin and yang where they belong — together. 

Last year, on Valentine’s Day

“Yin and Yang, huh? God, that’s so cheesy,” you mutter shyly, avoiding his gaze at all costs. You’re certain if you look up at him, you’ll get that mushy feeling in your chest again. 

“Yeah. I don’t really wanna sound cliché or anything, but you are the yin to my yang, y’know?” 

“... Gross.” 

Jungkook smacks the side of your head playfully, mocking your tone, “Gross! Yeah, gross. That’s why you’re not looking at me. Because you don’t want me to see your kawaii ass happy eyes.” 

Shit, busted.

You try to change the topic immediately, knowing that he’ll most likely continue calling you out. “Why… why are you suddenly giving me this, Gguk? And today out of all days? Don’t tell me that you’re in love with me.” 

He groans at that, earning a snicker from you. “Relax, relax, I was just teasing you.” 

You don’t notice, but his shoulders droop subtly. Oh, how he wishes that you weren’t just teasing him. 

Done and over with small talk, Jungkook is quick to put the accessory on both of you. Before you can comprehend further, he’s standing just a few inches away from you, those pools of honey looking at you earnestly. “Ready to see the magic?” 

It’s like he knows how to make you weak in the knees. You just nod, not trusting your voice with this one. There’s this knowing smirk on his face you absolutely despise. God, you’d kill to kiss that smirk off his face. If you just lean in a little right now? Your lips will press perfectly against those pretty pink ones.

Click.

Broken out of your reverie, you blink rapidly, remembering why you two were standing so close in the first place. The yin and yang pendants he bought. 

When your eyes find his, you suddenly feel the urge to pull him closer and maybe touch your foreheads together. But you really shouldn’t. He’s still your best friend, after all. 

“Look how cool!” Jungkook squeals, eyes wide with astonishment and awe. You tilt your head down, watching the joined yin and yang gently dangling in the air between you two. 

Why does he gotta be so endearing?

As you look up to meet his eyes again, you freeze. Is he… leaning towards you? Swallowing nervously, you look down again, praying that he’s not able to hear the frantic beating of your heart.

“I think I should disconnect them. Unless you wanna stay like this.” There’s a certain suggestion in his tone that makes your stomach jump.

“Um— yeah. You should. I’d rather get stuck in a basement alone than what you’re saying.”

“Wow. And here I thought you liked me.” He pouts, his hands coming up to hold the yin and yang. 

“Don’t flatter yourself.” You try your best to look away from his hands but struggle to do so. Lord, why did you have to make him so perfect? 

You don’t know how long it has been, the only thing you know is that you are not going to look at Jungkook. You won’t look at his furrowed brows and his little pout, or his veiny hands that work hard to pull on the pendants.

“See how hard it is to separate them? Just like us.” Laughing amusedly for a moment, Jungkook refocuses onto the joined yin yang. He really is trying his best, using all of the core strength he can muster. You giggle, noticing that his face is turning red from the effort.

“What happened, muscle man?” You tease, hands covering his bigger ones that hold the yin and yang. He grumbles, lips forming into his signature pout — completely unaware of your heart that melts on point. Squeezing his hands in your hold, you huff, “At least let me try? You’ve tried for long enough now.”

Jungkook looks up to meet your eyes. “Fiiiine. Only because you’re being whiny and it’s distracting me.” 

Who is he kidding, again? Being this close to you affected him much more than he’d like to admit. And then you had to come even closer and hold onto his hands like he’s the most delicate thing ever. Fuck, are you doing this on purpose? Can you hear his heartbeat? Dang it, he probably looks like a fool right now. 

Slipping his hands out of your grasp hastily, Jungkook motions you to try. “Don’t chicken out now, will you?” 

“In your dreams,” you clap back, trying to turn the locked pendants in separate directions. He snorts, proceeding to criticize your approach until he hears a gentle click.

“F-fuck, how did you—” 

“I guess working out in the gym for hours didn’t really pay off, tsk tsk.” You pout at him in a provoking manner, eyes glinting as you lean down to touch his firm chest. Jungkook freezes momentarily, tongue wetting his lower lip while he watches you tuck the chain inside his hoodie. “There you go.”

He shakes his head, unsure if he’s relieved or disappointed. However, just as you start to retreat, his reflexes kick in, strong hands curling around your waist to hoist you up in the air. “You break my heart; I thought you liked that I go to gym.” 

Ignoring him completely, you shriek, “Put me down!! Oh my god, you’ll drop me. AAAAA!” You are unable to see the knowing smirk on his face as you writhe against his hold. “I swear to God, Jeon— you either put me down or you get kicked in the nuts.” 

“Mm. You may try,” Jungkook hums, face subtly resting against your chest. “But you keep forgetting that I’m the one here with a taekwondo black belt.” 

“Fuck you.” You frown at him. He really has a way to get on your nerves. Here you are trying to save yourself from further embarrassment, and he’s being a clueless dumb little boy about it. Oh, why is he like this? You’re quite sure that he can feel your pebbled nipples pressing into his skin. 

Jungkook snickers, loosening his grasp around you. “I’d love to, baby.” 

There it is again. The most infuriating shit-eating grin that Jeon Jungkook masters. You take a deep breath to compose yourself first, thoughts jumbled up from being this close to him.

“You’re so insufferable, you know that?” A huff escapes you, hands defensively covering your chest. You really hope that he didn’t register it. You’ll most certainly want the Earth to swallow you alive if he mentions anything about your—

“Don’t act like a diva.” Jungkook rolls his eyes in the cutest way possible, making you scoff.

“You’re talking about yourself, right?”

“Pffft, you wish.” 

Friendship and love. These two are very different, yet strikingly similar. True friendship is about trusting each other intently, caring for them unconditionally, and being ready to help your friend through life’s hardships. Strangely enough, love itself consists of all these things… but you just feel them harder, almost like a fever that numbs your senses. 

Over the years, you’ve always thought of friendship and love very separately. But right now, you wonder if they are the different sides of the same card? Because the way you’ve been feeling for your best friend for more than three years now, sure isn’t how you should feel about a friend, best or not. 

The biggest possibility is that you have, in fact, fallen in love with Jungkook and it ignites strange emotions inside you, which are probably led by some crazy hormones you don’t even know about. As exciting and ecstatic that makes you feel, you can’t deny how the constant fear of losing him makes your heart clench uncomfortably. You simply can’t afford that, he’s the only one you have at this moment.

Oh Jungkook… if only… 

At first, your initial thought was that you’re just super attached to him after all these years. And that’s why you suddenly started feeling protective of him when Jungkook talked about a female colleague who impressed him by her skills, or the sweet barista girl who always flirted with him. 

But as more time passed, it slowly became clear to you that it was not because you’re attached to Jungkook as a friend. It was… much more than that. And the thought scared you. Because you knew that you shouldn’t feel this way for him.

After all, he isn’t just your best friend of almost six long years… he’s also that person who helped you through your toughest times and till this day, there is no one else in this world who can understand you like Jungkook does. 

The story of how you two met isn’t exactly what people will consider as convenient. But it’s something you are, and you will always be grateful for. For him, because you wouldn’t be here otherwise. His endless support and care are the reason why you are an aspiring geologist today, following your childhood dream. You wonder if your mum and papa are watching you from heaven, feeling proud of you as you’re doing something you’ve always loved.

Six years ago, early March,

You sit in complete silence, yet you can hear the sound of your heart beating in your ears. For a moment, you just wish for this cruel world to take you away… just where it took your parents — your family, your best friends.

It’s been more than a month since you saw your universe collapsing in front of your eyes. And you couldn’t do anything about it. You were only able to tumble on the ground pathetically when you heard the policeman informing you about the car accident that snatched your world away from you. 

The sudden sound of the front door opening alerts you, making you sit up straight. Mr. or Mrs. Jeon must be here with the food supplies along with other household items a teenage girl would need. Mrs. Jeon texted you about it nearly an hour ago.

Mr. Jeon was one of your father’s colleagues, but they were very close friends outside of their professional relationship. With no immediate family left after your parents’ death, Mr. Jeon and Mrs. Jeon immediately took you under their wings. Though, you insisted that you live in your home, where you grew up, instead of moving in with them. You provided the explanation that you were already fifteen and some years later you would have to move away for higher education anyway; so, you wanted to learn how to be on your own. Both of them were hesitant at first, but they respected your wishes. Jeons had their own conditions, of course, visiting you thrice a week and providing everything they could possibly think of.

You are grateful, obviously, but deep down you can’t help but feel like a burden to the Jeon family. They have two beautiful sons, as you had learnt from your late father. He told you how amazing both of them were, especially the eldest one, Jungkook. Eight-year old yourself had felt stupidly jealous of this twelve-year old guy your father was praising. So, you pouted and complained that you were a very good daughter too. You remember how he chuckled, ruffled your hair and kissed your forehead. Following up with, “Damn right you are! My princess is the best!” 

A lone tear runs down your right cheek from that memory, and you rush to dry it with the back of your hand. This is not the time, you think, knowing very well that they’ll be knocking at your bedroom door soon. Surely enough, the sound of knuckles rapping against your door can be heard seconds later, stopping the train of your thought. “Wait a second,” you mumble, standing up and making yourself presentable.

Opening the door timidly, you look up, ready to greet Mr. Or Mrs. Jeon, but—

Who is this? Did someone break into your house? Is he carrying weapons? 

You carefully size up the tall guy standing in front of you cautiously. Sporting an all-black ensemble and with the visible part of a tattoo on his hand, he surely gives off the dream emo boy vibes girls drool over. However, that is just the start. When you finally meet his eyes, you notice just how beautiful he really is. Long and wavy black hair casually falling over those big doe eyes, striking jaw and a beautiful mole right under his bottom lip, skin so beautiful that it can make you jealous… He looks like a Greek god, crafted with love. You are so busy admiring that you don’t realize that Mrs. Jeon is standing right behind the stranger.

“____, sweet baby, how are you today?” 

You snap back to reality, noticing her right behind this… alluringly handsome stranger. “Oh! Mrs. Jeon, I’m– I’m alright, I guess. How are you?” 

She smiles warmly, “Do you still feel uncomfortable with calling me by my name? I’m good, thank you, sweetheart.” 

You nod wordlessly, indeed uncomfortable by the thought of calling a mother figure like her by her name. She reaches out to squeeze your shoulder. “C’mon, let’s head downstairs and meet your new friend.” 

Your body freezes, eyes locking with the guy who is now standing by your door frame. He offers you a shy smile, rubbing the back of his head and looking down nervously.

It was awkward, to say the least. You were certainly sure that Jungkook’s mother had set you two up because you mentioned that you felt lonely. However, he was very kind and caring towards you from the start, even when you weren’t sure how to feel about him. He never gave you false hopes about how it will get easier for you like everyone did. Whenever you two were spending time together, Jungkook was always incredibly considerate towards your feelings. He held both of your hands whenever you were having a breakdown, never once asking for a reason, or telling you some bullshit about being strong. He would tell you that your emotions are valid, that grief is hard to handle, and you were trying your best, always making sure to buy you some comfort food later. It took you a few months, but you were starting to trust him, slowly letting him in until you two turned out to be inseparable within nine months.

Picnics with him on weekends was the thing that basically kept you going. He would take you to the best spots he knew around the town, treating you with his homemade sliders and cupcakes because you really liked those. Sometimes he’d buy you ice cream or hot chocolate depending on the weather. You remember walking side by side and holding hands. Jungkook often complained about how cold your hands were, but he held them anyway because he liked the fragrance of your hand cream.

You remember the sleepless nights spent crying in his arms. He let you sob into his embrace, rubbing your back soothingly as you told him how much you hated this world. He would hold you all night, whispering sweet validations while rocking you back and forth. Jungkook made you feel secure and loved no matter how worse you had been feeling on the first hand. You thought of him as your guardian angel. And you quickly realized how easy it is to love him. So, you did. Loved him with your whole heart, not knowing what that feeling would turn into. 

Four years ago, On Jungkook’s birthday

You let out another hiccup, leaning onto your best friend’s firm chest for support. It’s presumably your first time consuming any sort of alcohol, and that too, mistakenly. After one glass of this extremely strong drink, you feel like the world around you is spinning. “I promise I ask– *hiccup* asked for a mocktail. I dunno what they gave– to me.” 

“Who gave you the drink, muffin? That asshole is gonna catch these fists, I swear to fucking god.” He pulls you closer protectively, his eyes scanning the crowded living room of his downtown apartment for an empty space. Jungkook needs to get you out of here. “Think you can walk to the bedroom? You can rest there for the rest of this party,” he murmurs into your ear, brushing a stray lock of hair away from your face.

“Yeah... I think *hiccup* so…”

“Okay. But hold on tightly, hm? You’re wearing heels so you need to be careful.” You nod, arms tightening around his waist as he guides you to the end of the room. But soon enough, you trip and hit your head hard against his back, a pained whimper escaping you.

Jungkook turns around immediately, cupping your face in his hands. “Are you okay, ____? Where is it hurting?” 

Extremely tired and not able to stand on your own anymore, you rest yourself against him. His strong hands hold you steady by the waist, your head falling back in the comfort of his chest. “Ugh… ‘m okay don’t worry, ‘m sorry Gguk… I– *hiccup* I don’t want to move.”

“It’s okay, shhh, I’ll take you.” Without any other word, he picks you up in bridal style. You wind your arms around his neck, nuzzling his neck affectionately and inhaling his musky cologne. People give you weird looks while Jungkook swerves through the crowd. 

Once inside his bedroom, he settles you down on his bed gently. You smile at him gratefully. “Thank you so much… and ‘m sorry for being such a bother.” 

“Shush and try to sleep. Your body has given up entirely.” He shakes his head, helping you out of your shoes. Soon after, Jungkook grabs a hoodie from a nearby chair and hands it to you. “Change to this. I don’t think that dress is… comfortable.” He points at the red bodycon you are wearing. 

“Oh. Um… I’m not wearing a bra underneath.” You lower your head immediately, clutching the soft clothing to your chest. From the corner of your eye, you notice how his ears are turning red. He opens and closes his mouth several times, failing to get any words out. It makes you even more flustered. 

The door to his bedroom files open suddenly, catching both of you off-guard. Jungkook’s girlfriend walks in with fire in her eyes, slamming the door shut behind her. “I literally cannot believe you two. I trusted you, Jungkook. I trusted ____ too, but I guess I have been too blind!” 

“What the fuck? Are you seriously implying that right now? Don’t jump to any conclusions, baby. You’ve misunderstood.” Jungkook is out of breath as he looks at Lulu, but her attention has already shifted towards you.

“She is underage, Kook! What the fuck! What were you two doing? Oh my god I’m — didn’t know that you’ve already turned into a homewrecker whore, ____.” 

“LULU! Watch your mouth!” Jungkook stands between you and his girlfriend, blocking her vision as she was glaring at you bitterly. Even though you feel numb, the burn of your tears is painful.

“I.. I was feeling unwell, so Gguk carried me here. I was just about to lie down and rest when you barged in, Lulu. Please don’t throw accusations without knowing what actually happened.” 

“Yeah. Definitely. I can see that. I should’ve asked Jungkook to distance himself beforehand when I noticed how touchy touchy you can get. But Jungkook? I really thought that you’re better than this.” 

He inhales a shaky breath, and from the way his hands form into fists, you know that he’s struggling to contain his anger. “Do you really mind calming the fuck down, babe? Because you’re not making any sense. We’re best friends, of course we will hug and hold hands and do stuff that best friends do! What do you mean by that phrase? You know damn well that I’ll never distance myself from her because of some insecure person’s paranoia! And you wanna know the truth? I thought that you were better than this too.” 

A pained mewl escapes you, your eyes blurring with tears as you feel the throbbing pain in your head increasing tenfold. Jungkook looks at you immediately, reaching for your side and holding your shoulders. “Hey, hey it’s okay, muffin, everything will be okay. I’m here. Shhh.” Those are the last words you hear before blacking out.

++

After who knows how long, you feel your senses coming back to you. The first thing you register is that your throat is extremely dry and burning. “Water…” you mumble almost inaudibly. But, when a cold feeling against your lips surprises you moments later, you open your eyes.

“Drink it,” Jungkook encourages, his hand holding the glass steadily close to your mouth. You nod before downing some of it, a sigh escaping you as the cool liquid soothes your throat.

“Are you okay, muffin? I was so fucking worried, gosh.” He places the glass on the bedside table, not once looking away from you.

“I’m sorry,” is the first thing you whisper, reaching for his hand and squeezing it in your hold. You’ve never felt more ashamed in your life before.

“For what? If it’s about the whole scene with Lulu– I swear—”

“For everything. I ruined your birthday party. I ruined what you had with Lulu. I ruined everything. I’m… I’m so sorry. Did you manage to talk it out with her?”

“We broke up.” His voice is strangely cold.

“Oh my god— I– Gguk I’m so sorry?! It’s my fault. Gosh, I… hate myself.” 

“I’m glad she broke up with me. And I don’t regret anything.” Jungkook smiles at you. “Try to get some sleep now, okay? It’s late.” 

“Gguk… what are you saying? I have seen how happy you two looked together– aren’t you, like, upset?” you press further, not believing your own ears. What is he saying? 

“You need to rest, muffin. We’ll talk about this later.” He stands up from his bed, and you just notice that he has changed into a simple gray tee and a pair of black shorts. 

“I won’t be able to sleep if you don’t tell me.” Your voice is surprisingly firm, a sigh escaping him. He takes a seat beside you on the bed, looking at you with gentleness in his eyes.

“Lulu… I was happy with her. Until she started to get really controlling. You remember how she was talking about telling me to distance myself beforehand? … Yeah. A month back she said that my friendship with you makes her uncomfortable. We argued and it ended up being a huge thing. She’s been quite toxic since then.” 

“Oh… I’m so sorry that you had to face that. And I’m sorry for being a problem.”

Jungkook grumbles, his face inching closer to yours until it’s hovering just a few centimeters away. “Say that again and I’ll shut you up. You’re one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I’m not gonna lose you for some stupid ass relationship!” 

You giggle at that, reaching out to stroke his jawline. “Stupid ass relationship? Says the man who can’t go a day without whining about some sort of intimacy. ‘It’s not my fault that physical touch is my love language, I feel lonely if I’m not being touched!��”

“You little minx!” Jungkook pretends to pounce on you, starting a playfight. You giggle and try to dodge his blows. He grabs a nearby pillow in response, hitting your head with it. 

“Oww,” you whine, falling back on the bed. That, however, makes him roll his eyes.

“Such a drama queen.” 

Two years ago, Christmas Eve 

The warmth from the fireplace does absolutely nothing to make you feel warm. The hollowness in your chest feels bigger with all these festive decorations around, but thankfully, he’s still here.

“Listen, if you want me to fight that asshole you just need to say the word.” Jungkook pulls you to his chest, fixing the blanket you’re wrapped up with. You just shake your head and snuggle up to him. He only huffs, complaining, “Fine. Whatever. I’ll break his nose either way.” 

“He doesn’t even deserve that. I don’t want you to waste your time on him like me.” 

“Ooo, sick burn. That’s my girl.” He pats your back before checking the clock, sighing. “My family will come over soon though… Are you gonna stay here with me or go back to your apartment?” 

“I’ll go back to my apartment. And no, you’re not coming to drop me off. It’s literally a block away.” You detangle yourself from his embrace, folding the blanket neatly before fixing your sweater.

“I know you hate anything family related, but would it be really bad if you spend it with me?” He holds onto your hand, giving you those big, doe eyes. Another wave of sadness hits you and you look at your feet.

“I’m sorry Jungkook. I just… can’t. Plus, I promised my roommate that we’ll be having a movie marathon and loads of junk food. She hates Christmas too.” 

“We’ll still have our 3-hour call though, right? I’ll text you after midnight.” He stands up, hugging you tightly and dropping a kiss on your temple.

“Of course. That’s our tradition. There’s no way that we’re breaking it.” You smile, closing your eyes from the peace you feel. Jungkook always knows how to make you feel better, no matter how bad the situation is.

Back to present

At this moment, you realize just how much you hate yourself for not telling him before. Could it have ruined your friendship? Maybe, maybe not; it’s impossible to tell. But at least, that way you wouldn’t have to cry over him a week before he’s moving away. To another country where he has many more opportunities as a freestyle dancer.

You should be happy. For all these years, you’ve seen Jungkook working his ass off, doing what not to follow his dreams. Although a part of you is immensely proud of him, it’s shadowed by the part which seeks his presence near you forever, refusing to budge. 

As you’re completely lost in your thoughts, you fail to notice the tall figure standing a few feet away from where you are seated. Rustle of clothes and soft padding sounds of naked feet drift closer, breaking you out of your reverie.

“Gguk. You came.” 

It’s hard to recognize your own voice as it rings in your ears. So broken and nasally that it makes you cringe internally. Gosh, how much did you cry? 

Plopping down on the soft blanket you had laid out hours ago, Jungkook shakes his head with a snort. “Why are you so surprised? We literally live in neighboring buildings, and I own a spare key to your apartment.”

With an affirmative hum, you wiggle closer to him, desperate to feel his warmth. A strong, tattooed hand wraps around your shoulders automatically, pulling you closer as if on instinct. Once settled, both of you sigh in unison.

“You were crying again, weren’t you?” The question seems a bit accusatory, but there’s only worry laced in his voice. 

Your chest tightens, Jungkook knows you like the back of his hand and lying most certainly won’t work. That’s why you opt to choose silence, nuzzling his shoulder for a moment before resting your head on it. The musky scent of him engulfs you like a tight hug almost immediately.

Jungkook huffs out a breath, his left hand cupping your cheek. Your eyes meet his enticing ones, stealing air from your lungs and leaving you slightly breathless. He hesitates to break the fragile silence between the two of you for several moments before giving in. “I promised that we’ll keep in touch regularly and do facetime when needed, didn’t I? I know it’s hard for you, hell, it’s hard for me too, but it hurts so much to see you like this. Please, ____. Be strong for me?”

“I’m trying my best,” it’s almost inaudible, followed by a mumbled admission, “I can’t live without you. I don’t have anyone else.”

Jungkook reaches out wordlessly, taking the hold of your other hand and interlacing your fingers together. The comfortingly gentle warmth of his touch makes your heart flutter, an involuntary shiver running down your spine. You notice how your smaller hand fits perfectly in his large and slightly calloused one’s grasp.

Inhaling a shaky breath, you cast your eyes down in an attempt to hide the emotions that might be displaying on the blank canvas of your face.

He has no idea what he does to your poor heart, does he?

But then, Jungkook brings your hand up to his lips, your whole body alight with anticipation as he drops a chaste kiss on your knuckles. “We’ll be alright. I promise,” he whispers against your skin, offering a half-hearted smile.

You can feel the way you are slowly crumpling under the pressure of your own emotions. A part of you yearns to tell him everything right here, right now, but another part, which carries the fear of messing everything up is enough to make your heart stop beating. 

Being in love isn’t as easy as people make it look like, you think, struggling to hold back tears that fight to break out. 

“Excuse me for a second,” you manage to choke out while standing up, dashing towards the bathroom. You don’t know if he has followed you or not, but you quickly lock the door, turning the shower on to muffle any type of sounds from you.

On the other hand, Jungkook stands in front of the bathroom door silently. His heartbeat is so loud that one might say that it’s gonna beat out of his chest. He’s anxious, fuck, he’s scared. What if you do something stupid? He’ll never be able to forgive himself if something happens to you.

He knows you and how your mind works. He knows that you feel like a selfish piece of shit for wanting him to stay here with you. And he hates that. He hates it because even after knowing exactly what you’re going through, he can’t help. 

There’s a constant battle going on in Jungkook’s system — a battle between his heart and his brain. The logical side of him still wants to move away and follow his dreams. Why? Because what if you don’t reciprocate his feelings? What if he’s just a friend to you? Will he be able to continue living his life normally if that happens? Will you be willing to continue this friendship? 

But, the part of him that is blindly in love with you, that wants to be with you forever, begs him to stay here and never let you go. He can’t possibly breathe air properly without you by his side. Maybe he sounds like a fool, but he doesn’t care. He needs to make a decision, and he needs to do it soon.

++ 

Devastating sobs wreck your body, your knuckles going numb from the pressure on them. You clutch on the sink for dear life, struggling to breathe properly as you feel the world closing in on you. Your head hurts and it feels like every single cell in your body is screaming at you. Do something, do anything. Please.

With the last ounce of strength you have left, you turn off the shower. Your sweaty palms slip on the door lock. So, you wipe them in a towel, fumbling with the lock again. It takes a while but the door creaks, announcing its opening. 

Jungkook wastes no time to get you out of the confines of the bathroom. His heart breaks when he notices your state, body shaking, eyes red and clothes soaked. “Muffin…” he trails off, his own eyes tearing up.

“I– I want to tell you something. Before you leave this damsel in distress behind for good. Just promise that you won’t hate me.”

“You’re not a damsel in distress! Shut up! And you think I can hate you? Wow. I don’t even know what to say.” A few tears escape his eyes, and you reach out to brush them away with your thumb.

“Why are you crying?” 

“Are you kidding me right now? Do you know how fucking scared I was? I thought— I thought—”

“Shh.” You press your index finger against his lips. Jungkook stops breathing for a second, watching you come closer. His hands wrap themselves around your waist instinctively. Your chest is heaving, wet clothes uncomfortably sticking to your skin as you lean into his touch. You let your lips press against his neck, his arms tightening around your sides. “I love you, Jeon Jungkook. And before you be a dumb little boy and say that you love me too, ‘m gonna tell you that I don’t mean it in a friendly way. I’m in love with you. I want you to kiss me whenever you’re in need of intimacy, I want you to cuddle me to sleep at night, I want to go out on our dream dates and cook our meals together, I want to be yours. Body and soul.” 

When you’re done whispering your confession against the sensitive skin of his neck, you realize that he’s still holding his breath. “Say that again.” He clenches his jaw, his heart rate dangerously high. 

“I love you. I want to be yours. I want to do cute couple shit with you and make everyone jealous.” The next thing you know is that you’re pressed up against the nearby wall, hands pinned over your head. Jungkook looks at you like he’s looking at a newly found ____, his breathing uneven.

“I love you too. So fucking much. I’m gonna make you mine and give you the whole fucking universe because you fucking deserve it.” 

You lean in to press your lips against his, to which he eagerly complies. Although it starts off as a cautious and sweet kiss, it doesn’t take much time to turn heated and incredibly needy. Jungkook growls, sucking onto your lower lip before prying his tongue inside the hot welcoming pool of your mouth. You moan immediately, euphoria coursing through your veins when your tongues start fighting for dominance. He wins the battle soon enough, controlling the pace while his hands explore your body.

He takes his sweet time to explore your mouth as well as the sensitive spots all over your body. Discarding your clothes hastily to feel your skin against him, he rips off your bralette. But you don’t care. You too, follow his lead and pull away slightly so that you can remove the layers of clothing from his body. 

Jungkook has you entirely naked except the yin necklace in seconds, his muscular arms throwing you over his shoulder in a frenzy and carrying you to the bed. You whine as you still try to pull off his pants, and he chuckles. 

“You’re unreal, baby. Look at you, so beautiful,” he coos, looking at your splayed form on the bed. The more he looks, the more it makes you feel shy. You cross your legs and cover your chest with your hands, closing your eyes and whining again. “No, no. Don’t hide yourself. Let me see you, please. I’ve waited for so long, baby.” 

You feel the bed dipping, his weight joining you on the bed as he hovers over you. You feel his yang chain dangling in the air between you two. He gently pushes away your hands and legs, leaving you bare and vulnerable under him. “You’re so pretty, my pretty little babygirl.” Jungkook notices the yin pendant resting next to your head, a wide smile blooming on his face. “Oh. You’re wearing it too?” 

“We promised that we’ll always wear them,” you whisper, fluttering your eyes open. Two pools of honey look back at you fondly, leaning down while placing the yin pendant on your chest.

Click.

“Yin to my yang.” He nuzzles your nose before touching your foreheads together. You smile, pulling him in for another kiss.

Jungkook trails wet, open-mouthed kisses over your jaw, neck and collarbones. You moan when he finds a majorly sensitive area. He lets his right hand massage your breasts, breathy whimpers falling off of your lips. His mouth sucks on the nape of your neck, wetness gathering between your legs from his ministrations. 

“Oh, Gguk…” Threading fingers through his hair, you pull him even closer, desperately wanting him as close as humanly possible. The groan he lets out vibrates against your skin. He finds your lips once again, fingers pulling and pinching on your hardened nipples.

“Fuck, oh god,” you moan when Jungkook briefly licks on your stiffened peak, gauging your reaction before diving in. He presses your tits together, hungrily licking and sucking onto them while kneading the soft flesh. 

“So responsive, fucking hell.” He mutters under his breath, his eyes trained on your movements as you writhe under him from pleasure. Your fingers are still buried in the strands of his dark hair, pulling on them for dear life. He grunts and groans, grazing his teeth teasingly over your nipple.

“Oh my god!” your body shudders, a sudden release catching both of you off-guard as you cry and moan in pleasure. Jungkook watches you ride out the high lustfully, a guttural sound leaving his throat.

“Already? But I didn’t do anything yet, baby.” 

You try to catch your breath, stuttering a reply, “Sorry– ugh, ‘m sorry— I didn’t know that I–”

“It’s okay, I liked it. It was sexy,” he nudges his nose with yours, fingers running up and down your sides. 

“It’s been so long since I’ve been touched like this… I’m sorry.” 

“Shh.” Jungkook shushes you, unlocking the yin and yang and letting your locket slide back on the bed. “Want to taste you.” Giving you one last kiss on the mouth, he continues to press butterfly kisses on your skin, following the path between your breasts. He smiles when he feels your hand reaching to intertwine with his. He places random kisses all over your tummy, inching downwards until he’s finally facing your mound. 

“You’re glistening, baby, already so wet and ready.” He hums, parting your nether lips and admiring the slick flesh hiding under it. “Fuck, I’ve wanted this for so long now,” Jungkook mutters, flattening his tongue against your core to lick a fat stripe.

“Gguk!” you whimper, thighs spreading further on its own accord. His nose briefly presses on the swollen nub as he provides you several kitten licks. 

“You taste so sweet. Like a muffin.” His voice is dangerously low, and it goes straight through your cunt. You shiver and mewl. If he doesn’t pick up speed, you might just lose your mind.

Thankfully, he himself is losing his patience. Jungkook enters your dripping cunt with his tongue. A groan escapes him when he feels your gummy muscles squeezing him appreciatively. 

He grunts, pushing harder and deeper, your essence filling his mouth. Your toes curl, and he softly brushes his thumb on your clit. You moan loudly, hips bucking up. As you try to move with him, tongue delving in and out, he thumbs your clit and rolls it in tight circles.

Your back arches, effectively pushing your pussy more into his face. Jungkook groans at the feeling. Your whimpers paired up with the sound of him eating you out bounces off the bedroom walls. 

Your hand tightens its hold on his hand, the spare one balling into a fist. He softly plucks his tongue out, eagerly licking you like you’re water and he’s been thirsty for a long while now. He leaves the warmth of your cunt to wrap his lips around your clit, sucking and grazing his teeth on it.

“Fuck!”

You pull on the bed sheets, and he gives your clit a soft bite. Before you can comprehend anything else, two of his fingers slide inside you. It’s a rather tight fit, but he’s not bothered.

“I’m gonna stretch you out so well, baby.” Jungkook purrs, starting to move his fingers in and out of you. The first few thrusts have your knees buckling even though you’re lying down. He somehow manages to brush most of the sweet spots inside you, a string of incoherent words leaving you.

“That’s right, it feels amazing, doesn’t it, babygirl? You feel so good around my fingers.” He increases his pace to see how you react, and he’s blessed with a needy whimper that has his dick throbbing in the confines of his boxers. 

“Please…” you close your eyes, craving more. You can feel his lips curling up against your skin.

“Please what? You have to be more specific,” Jungkook hums, teasingly running his tongue over your slit while his fingers halt inside you. You whine out of frustration, trying to move but his iron grip on your hips stops you from doing so.

“I need more. Please, Gguk… Oh—” He curls his fingers inside you, starting to move them again. His mouth latches back on your clit, coaxing a moan out of you. He scissors his digits in your cunt and you gasp. “I’m– I’m gonna come!” you cry out, head lolling back.

“Then do it. Cream my fingers like a good girl.” Jungkook grunts, adding a third finger inside your wet heat. The feeling has you screaming his name, eyes flying shut. “Look at you. Making such a mess and I haven’t put my dick in yet. Can you hear how fucking wet you are?”

You let out a wanton moan, your inner walls squeezing his digits as the squelching sound seemingly increases. He curses under his breath, suckling on your clit and keeping up the ruthless pace of his fingers. You shudder and writhe, his name falling off your lips like a prayer. Dangerously close to your release, you feel the pleasure coil inside your stomach tightening.

“Holy fuck!” Jungkook rests his forehead against your lower belly. Your cunt clamps down on his digits, heartbeat going crazy as you reach your peak without any warning. Chest heaving, you try to catch your breath.

“Look at me, ____.” 

You struggle to open your eyes, but eventually, you manage to meet his gaze. A whine escapes you when you see his chin glistening under the soft light of your bedroom. Adding more to your devastation, Jungkook extracts his fingers from your core, immediately putting them inside his mouth. 

“Gguk,” you whine, averting your eyes. He climbs back up on you, tapping on your lips with his index finger. 

When you look at him confusedly, he murmurs, “Open up.” Your cheeks heat up from embarrassment, realizing the reason behind his actions. You bite down on your lower lip, taking a deep breath before you finally part your lips eagerly. 

“Mmh!” you flutter your eyelashes at Jungkook and start sucking on his digits, the scene making his cock twitch inside his underwear. Tongue gliding across his fingers sensually, you let out several moans and whimpers, making him groan out of frustration.

“Stop giving me those eyes, baby, I won’t be able to control myself.” He grunts, removing his fingers from your mouth. He gets rid of his pants immediately. You gulp, noticing the massive bulge between his legs. Inhaling a shaky breath, you let your eyes take in the glory of his thighs, your pussy clenching around nothing.

“Like what you see?” Jungkook smirks, lips finding yours in a heated kiss. You cry out, holding onto his tattooed forearm for dear life. He grunts when he feels your wetness rubbing against his clothed cock. “So impatient.” His mouth catches your earlobe, his own hips starting to move against yours.

“Gguk… please, I need you in me.” Your voice is barely a whisper. With an impatient growl, Jungkook pulls down his boxers, his hardened cock springing out and slapping against your stomach.

A whine escapes you at the sight of his veiny, huge member. You rub your thighs together, watching the precum dribbling down on your tummy. He notices how flustered you’ve become, a chuckle rumbling in his throat. “I will ruin you babygirl, gonna fuck that innocence out of you.”

“Yes, fuck me!” You are straight up desperate at this point, cunt aching to feel him inside you. Jungkook huffs, suddenly remembering that he doesn’t have any protection with him. 

“Baby… I don’t have a condom.” His lips form into a pout, and you wonder how he can be so cute and sexy at the same time. 

“I’m on birth control.” Your reply is quick, legs wrapping around his waist to pull him closer.

“Fuck! You want me to go raw?” 

“Yep. Want to feel you.” Jungkook doesn’t waste another second, his hand gripping on his length to slide it along your wet slit. You let out another cry, eyes snapping shut. “Please don’t tease me, I can’t.” 

“Shh,” He shushes you, and soon enough, you feel the blunt, velvety head of his cock poking at your entrance.

“Oh my god!” A scream escapes you when he starts pushing in, his forehead resting in the crook of your neck as he waits for you to adjust. His girth stretches you out much more than you’ve experienced before. You writhe and whimper, feeling like it’s your first time all over again. A few tears wet your cheeks and Jungkook hurries to dry them.

“It’s okay, you’re okay. Relax, baby,” he murmurs against your skin, slowly sinking all the way in. “Let me know when you feel ready, okay?” He presses a kiss on your knuckles, threading your fingers together.

It takes you a while, but you eventually manage to adjust to the foreign feeling. Jungkook hisses when he feels your hips trying to rock against his. “Can I move now?” 

“Yes! Fuck,” your voice is heavy with need which makes him groan. He grips onto your hips, starting to pull away. Just when you’re thinking that he’s gonna pull out entirely, he slams back inside, eliciting a high-pitched moan from you.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, “I’m so sorry, I don’t think that I can be gentle right now.” 

“Ahh– it’s– it’s okay, I like it rough.” 

“Good god.” Jungkook growls, hips slapping against yours rhythmically. You take a hold of his right hand, trying to wrap it against your throat. “Fucking hell. Is that what you want me to do to your cute body? Fuck! Such crude actions from an angel like you.” He gently grips on your throat, applying minimal pressure that has your head spinning. 

“Jungkook!” Your scream is muffled by the sound of his cock pounding into you. His eyes stay fixed on your breasts, that jiggle with each thrust of his length. 

He laughs breathlessly into your hair when you tense around his cock, his thrusts hitting your cervix, deeper than before. It doesn’t take long for the pressure to coil low in your body, your skin tingling with warmth.

“Gguk—”

You don’t manage another word, but you don’t really need to. Jungkook slips a hand between your legs, finding your clit with unerring accuracy and rubbing it in tight circles. You scream his name, writhing as the waves of bliss roll over you. Through the haze you notice that he is still inside your cunt, hard and throbbing. He kisses you fervently, hissing when he takes in your debauched state. 

“I’m not done with you yet,” he mutters, dropping his forehead to yours and ramming his cock into your pussy. You curl your arms around his shoulders, mesmerized by his darkened eyes and the way they are focused on you. He keeps his movements rough, but there is a new, fragile intimacy between you two.

You glue your mouth over his, your breaths mingling as you taste each other. Jungkook moans when you buck your hips, meeting him halfway and grinding your clit over his pelvis. His hold on your legs tightens and you know that he is close.

“____– fuck, babygirl, I’m going to come so hard.”

You rake your nails through his fluffy hair, nodding frantically. “I’m all yours,” you whisper, voice breaking. He gives a few more hard thrusts and shudders, reaching his orgasm with a low groan and coating your walls with his thick, milky load. The feeling sets you off as well and you bury your face in his chest, whimpering with each spurt and twitch.

Blood pounds in your ears as you stroke the length of his back, your cheek resting on his racing heart. Over stimulation makes you feel a bit dizzy, soft whines leaving your parted lips. Jungkook caresses your thighs and nuzzles your locks, panting slightly. It takes a few moments for both of you to shake off the high – you raise your head first and look up at him. His eyes are warm, expression content.

“Please tell me that I’m not dreaming,” He mumbles, cradling your body in his arms. 

Your eyes soften at his words, and you kiss his temple, reassuring, “You’re not, Gguk. This is very much real. We are together.” 

“Let me take you out on a date tomorrow.” Jungkook presses a lingering kiss on your chest. “And the day after tomorrow.” Another kiss. “And the day after that too.” Another kiss.

“Sure… I’d love to go out on dates with you.” You manage a smile, his warm breath fanning over your neck. Before you know, your eyes tear up, a sob tearing itself from your throat.

“Oh my god— what happened?! Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” 

You shake your head violently, taking his right hand and kissing his body art. “We only have six days left together… Isn’t it so tragic?” 

Jungkook frowns immediately, remembering that he’s supposed to leave for another country within a week. His heart breaks, arms clutching on your body tighter. “Baby…” 

“I’d ask you to not leave but that’s extremely selfish.” 

“No no, it’s selfish at all, sweetheart. I promise to have a long, hard thought about this. I– I don’t want to leave either. How am I supposed to survive all alone, now that I finally have you?” 

“Gguk… you don’t have to–” 

“Shh, let’s not think about it right now. Just… I love you so much, muffin. You’re my world.” 

“And you’re my universe, Jungkook. I love you too.” Your eyes glisten with unshed tears, his brown orbs looking back at you fondly.

You don’t know what the future has in store for you, but you do know that he is in it. That is everything you’d ever want.

˗ˏˋ꒰ 💌 end notes ꒱

aaaa congratulations for making it to the end! thank you so much for reading, lovely! this is actually a repost from my old blog, but i don't think anyone remembers 😅! sorry for any mistakes left in there! and of course, i hope you enjoyed reading it! ❤️‍🩹

reblogs and comments are extremely appreciated! it helps a lot to keep writers like me motivated🌷✨; and you can also send feedback through asks if you’d prefer that <33

happy holidays once again, i’m hoping to come back with new content soon!