#in my drafts since like forever now...I need to clear them...idk if there is a similar post like that

[kaddyssammlung]

(the collection is made out of the linked twitter post. big thanks)

[lovrsm]

“ꜱʟᴜᴛ!”

sum: Ferraris golden boy moves over to RedBull Racing Team.

Daughter of the CEO of Red Bull, you’ve grown to love racing, and in the way making new friends. Even if you felt like your world was falling apart, even when you denied it, he was the only one you needed. And there was absolutely nothing that could change his mind about your beautiful self, the way he loves you.

word count:idk, prb 2k

pairing: rb!charles leclerc x horner!reader

warnings: name calling, alcohol, smut f! receiving, first time writing real horny shit!

a/n: sorry for the long intro, I swear it’s worth it😔✋ LOOOL, I WROTE THIS LIKE A YEAR AGOO, and I rlly wanted to clear up my drafts but this is too good to not come out. Yet idk if I have any mistakes, if I do let me know!! Also, checo acting as a dad (#IloveCheco)

Spotify - Apple Music

ᴍᴀɪɴ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ

“and I break down, then he’s pullin’ me in In a world of boys, he’s a gentleman���

Clink, clink, that’s what our champagne glasses sounded like together.

“Congratulations, what a wonderful year. It’s been a pleasure being with all of you.” Sergio, Checo Perez, made a brief goodbye to your team.

He was leaving Red Bull. Everyone here loved him, and loves him, including yourself. He became quickly your family after seeing him every day for more than 3 years.

“We will miss you” your dad palms his back, making Checo break a smile.

“It isn’t the end yet, you know that boss.” He laughed.

His reasons? Family, everything for him, he couldn’t bare leaving them anymore alone, so he decided after, several years, to leave formula 1. After helping Max to win his championships, he is a fucking legend.

“Well, I won’t leave you alone, I will still drag you everywhere, you know? Even after you leave.” Max and Checo have developed a very special bond, even if social media said otherwise.

“We, wont leave you alone, you still owe me those therapy sessions” I winked at him, he became a very big emotional support for me, believe it or not, he’s got some great advice to give.

“Lovely dinner” I took a picture of all of us with my camera, a goodbye dinner for Checo, and tomorrow, all of the world would see this on the newspaper.

-

“I really don’t know what to do, do you know how many drivers have reached us out in the last 2 hours? I mean, I have a few options but they keep giving me more reasons and… I just don’t know.” My dad was stressed, typing in his computer as if his life depended on it.

“It’s going to be alright, okey? You don’t necessarily need to worry about it right now, we still have a championship to win, you know?” I gave him a cup of tea, just so he could relax a bit.

When something is about work, everything else doesn’t matter. At all.

“We’ll watch your options, alright? I can help you with anything you want” I smiled at him.

“When did you became such a great business woman?”

“You’re my father, of course I’m hardworking.”

-

“Red Bull did it again, Max Verstappen and Sergio Perez, world champion and sub-champion!”

Screams from Max and Checo blasted my ears, P1 and P2, again. Absolutely no mistakes. The internet going crazy. And somehow it all became quiet.

“Who will get that Red Bull seat next year? Will he be a fit to Sergio Perez place?”

Everyone went outside to celebrate, while I stayed so I could hear the TV and media.

what do people want?

“Ferrari didn’t have a great year, let’s hope they both get a better car”

“I agree! Great drivers, such a shame Ferrari has been getting worse every year. What a waste of talent.” The other interviewer said.

Charles Leclerc and Carlos Sainz appeared in the screen. Both with an obvious forced smile plastered in their faces.

Charles, my secret crush ever since… forever. Was I obvious? Not a single soul knew, well, except him.

-

Charles Leclerc signed in RedBull that was the only thing appearing on my feed right now . Red bull? Bullshit, you mean? What kind of a big lie is that?

Internet was filled with Charles leaving Ferrari for RedBull.

In what twisted universe does that even happen?

I later learned, I am living in that twisted world, and I discovered the great news in social media, and not my own team.

“What do you mean Charles Leclerc, dad? Why wasn’t I even informed about this. Wait, hold on, when did it even crossed your mind?!” I was dignified.

Following around the kitchen.

“I didn’t have to, oh, I do think I need to tell you this, he’s coming to dinner tonight so wear something nice.”

Wear something nice.

Thanks dad, as always, you’re so, so great.

Night time came sooner than expected, if my dad hosts a dinner, even if there’s a million, or just one person coming over, he likes to be extra.

-

Almost time, 8:00 and it is 7:50, all that was missing was the dress. It was placed on my bed. Showing all of it’s beauty.

Navy blue, our color. It was my dream dress.

Light, silky and fancy dress.

I walked downstairs, watching people running and arranging everything, doing just the final touches.

I’ve come to learn, that people arrive late, or just in time. Never earlier.

“Ah, what a beautiful young woman I have here!” Geri, my father’s wife came to greet me.

“You look amazing, I knew that dress would be perfect for you!”

“Geri, you are amazing, seriously. Thank you, and look at you! We both look gorgeous.” I smiled at her and we linked arms, she and I were walking towards the garden, where would be the dinner.

Some big, round, wooden tables were set in the middle. Each seat would have a name, decorated with a white flower in the middle of the plate.

It was easy to find my place. I was at the biggest one of all, where the most important people of this night would be seated.

Lucky for me, his name was right next to my plate.

In a matter of seconds, people started to arrive, old friends, and new faces passed through those doors.

This will be a great night.

“Funny to find you here, it’s been some time since I last saw you…” I rolled my eyes, I (sadly) recognized that voice anywhere.

“Go away Mike.” I grabbed my wine glass and took a big sip out of it. “C’mon princess, where are your manners?” He got too close to me.

“Hey y/n! Your dad was looking for you, like right now.” Max Verstappen here to save my day.

“Oooh that’s unfortunate, I’m so so so sorry Mike, hope to see you later!” I waved him off and quickly moved towards Max who then friendly linked his arm with mine.

“I owe you one.” I sighed. “You owe me much more than 1, little one.” I laughed at him.

We got close to my father, who now had a microphone at his hand.

“Hello everyone, thank you for coming here and be with us tonight. A toast for Checo here!” He announced and a light was shining on Checo, standing from his seat.

“It has been a wonderful year, sadly it has to end. And I know I’m not the first to tell you that an incredible young talent will be joining us for next season.”

There he was. Navy suit with our logo on him. His hair was messy yet perfectly placed. He showed his dimples and I’m sure I heard someone behind me moan at his sight.

My heart rate was increasing slowly but surely.

“y/n, you’re going to squeeze all my blood from my arm. Stop.” Max whispered in my ear.

Shit. I basically dug my nails into his arm due to my tiny crush.

“Yeah, It’s amazing to know that I’m to race with RedBull next year. I hope we can achieve everything we’ve dreamed of. Looking forward to race with my lifetime partner, Max here.”

Now the light was on Max and me. I discreetly let go of max so that he could have the spotlight. As Max waved I looked back at Charles.

The dimples in his face showed even more, he was looking at me too.

“I can’t wait to work with these wonderful people, and I hope we have a great year to remember, thank you and enjoy this night!” He raised his glass and so did all.

“Well, I hope we don’t have any inchidents” Max laughed at his own joke. Dad joke I must say.

“Well If you don’t push me off the track I think we’ll be just fine” his voice gave me chills. I felt his chest on my back.

I wasn’t strong enough to turn around.

“Oh, shoot, you hear that? I think P is calling me!”

“No, Max-” I tried to stop him.

Around Charles, I barely have control over myself.

“Uh-huh, yeah that’s P, she wants to go to the bathroom, and she needs food, ok have a great night bye!” He rushed to god knows where.

“You really don’t want to be with me, do you?” He whispered on my ear. Feeling the heat of his breath.

“Why wouldn’t I? You are such a lovely company, mr Leclerc.” I gathered the strength and turned around, and his beautiful green eyes shined at me, making me blush.

“Look at you, could you get any more beautiful?”

He lowered so he could whisper again. “I’ve missed you” I looked around real quick, thankfully Max took everyone’s attention on the other side of the place.

“Not here, Charles.” I whimpered.

“Yes here, I can finally be with you, do you think I would waste any more time pretending to not love you? If you do, let me tell you, you are completely wrong.”

He kept whispering, his hands slowly finding his way to my hips. And mine to his collarbone.

“It’s not even 9pm, Leclerc, this party hasn’t even started” I fighted against my own will to drag him upstairs.

“You know I’ll wait, just for you.” He winked at me, before slowly letting me go and walking away.

“You’re not coming, mon coeur?” Charles turned around to look at me. “If you insist.” I happily walked by his side.

We walked and talked for a few minutes before Mike magically appeared before us.

“Oh not even 5 seconds and you are already like a slut with the new driver” He looked at me with a disgusted face.

“Excuse her? Don’t tall to her like that. Do we even know you?” Charles used a very cold tone on him. And Mike started to stumble on his word.

“Uhm, no, she does, like I was something to her-”

“Was, that’s a key word, pal. Don’t you ever talk to her, no, don’t you ever talk to any woman that way do you understand?”

Now, I can defend myself just fine, but that right there soaked my pants in an unexplainable way.

“Get out of our sight, man.” And he crawled away.

“That was hot.” I whispered and he blushed. “Your mother did raise a gentleman.” I smiled at him and he gave me a cheek kiss.

-

Lost on the moonlit pool, drinking my… 11th (?) glass of wine at 1 in the morning while everyone was still dancing, was weird.

My feet swinging as I drink the last drop of my glass.

I went on a side quest myself just to get distracted for a bit. All the noise was going to hurt my ears if I stayed any longer.

“Here you are, you got lost?” He sat down at my side. Didn’t have to look, his thick accent gave him away immediately.

I took a long breath and rested my head on his shoulder . “Yes, Charles, I’m going to get lost in my own house.” I felt him move beside me. He then had his feet in the pool, just as I did.

I smiled to myself.

“Has anyone told you just how beautiful you look today?”

“You have, more than once.”

“I couldn’t let that slip, you do look beautiful with that dress. It suits you just perfectly.”

He paused.

“But I bet you’d look much better without it.”

I nervously chuckled at his comment.

“You haven’t talked to me in ages, you came back being a driver for my father, and now you want to have sex? Why don’t you already make me your wife?!” I dramatically fell into his arms

“Ages? I talked to you last week!” He showed his teeth to me in a smile. “That was a long time ago! Besides, you never told me about you and RedBull.” I sit straight up again.

“I needed your dad to love me one way or another. How else am I going to get him to approve of our marriage?” He joked.

“You are unbelievable Leclerc.” I stood up, and grabbed my high-heels on my hand, walking back to the party barefoot.

I surrounded part of the pool, my dad wanted to add a bar right beside it, and it was freshly cemented.

He quickly copied my moves, but instead, he went on a straight line to me, and in a step he covered his feet in cement, falling down and thankfully placing his hands before getting worse.

“Shit!” I ran back to help him. I stupidly placed my hand in the cement, the other helping Charles to get up.

“Look, we made a masterpiece! Your handprints and mine in wet cement.”

“And your feet.” I laughed

“And my feet… I really need to wash this off before it gets dry.” I grabbed his hand and he followed my lead.

If my dad sees that I’m getting his new driver to my room…

We rushed through the multitude of people on the garden.

“Ooh we’re going to your bedroom, can’t remember what happened last time there…” he whispered shouted as we were running up the stairs.

I jokingly rolled my eyes at him. We were giggling like children. He kept making dirty jokes and as much as I tried to control myself I’d end up giggling much more.

We got there quicker than I thought. With my clean hand I closed the door and he was already in my bathroom washing his hands, and feet with water. I ran to his side and did the same with my left hand.

“I’m done” I announced and got out of the bathroom. Deciding to do a touch up for my makeup, thankfully nothing was much out of place, but my lipstick faded.

I slowly applied it looking in the mirror, and through it I saw a curious Charles looking at me. “Why do you even apply lipstick?” He slowly walked towards me.

I took my sweet time spreading the color on my lips.

“Cause we are going back, party is not over.”

“But we don’t need to.” He grabbed me by the waist and turned me around to look at him and he swiftly placed me on the desk. A smirk plastered on his face, as he slowly got on his knees.

“Charles…”

He got to his knees, not breaking eye contact with me.

“You know that if you say no, I won’t do anything. But I’m not hearing those words, am I?” He lifted my dress planted wet kisses on my inner thighs, getting closer to my sweet spot. “You’re so fucking wet”.

“They will know we’re gone” I nervously whispered. He looked into my eyes and stopped, his hot breath making me squirm. “That isn’t a no.” He stood his ground.

And I’m not saying “do it anyway”, but we both know he is going to.

I didn’t even have a chance to think about the cons, his tongue was already doing its job.My legs were closing due to the pleasure, but his strong arms kept them wide open while he drew circles with his thumbs.

“Charles…” he hummed in response, sending me shivers all the way up. He kept licking my folds and as I looked down, he had his shiny green eyes looking at me. A hint of darkness in them that made me moan just at sight.

His head between my legs was surely what heaven looked like.

I curved my back and my hand gripping his hair so he could get closer. He groaned and sucked even harder.

“Fuck, you’re such a good boy, I missed this.” His hand moved quickly into me, curling his two fingers finding my g spot. “Fuck, Charles!” I screamed his name while cumming all over him, his tongue taking all off of me, as he rose without slowly moving his fingers again. My hips rocking back and forth as he arose, keeping his hand busy. “Too bad that pretty mouth of yours can’t do much right now. I really would love to feel it sucking my dick.” I hummed imagining it and getting even closer to my second climax.

“I'll take care of you, just so my princess can remember who she belongs with.” His lips were on my neck, whispering sweet nothing between kisses and soft biting. My moans filled the whole room along with the sound of his fingers working on her center.

Charles, Charles, Charles…

Each time his name left your mouth his cock got even harder, to the point where it hurt. In a short motion his pants down and without any warning he thrusted into you. You both let out a pornographic scream. If the music wasn’t loud everyone would have heard you two. The sound of your slaps were evident, heat rising, the feeling of his beard in your neck was all too much. Curses along with moans were the only thing louder. He did a final thrust and immediately pulled out, jerking off and finishing in his hand.

“You just washed your hands.” I joked breathlessly, he messed up with my head real bad. “Couldn’t resist” he smiled, gave me a peck and disappeared into the bathroom. I melted on that spot.

“Come on mon coeur.” What I loved about Charles was that he always cared. we got into the bathroom and I washed my hands, in the reflection of the mirror his eyes were already in mine.

“What?” I asked as the blood rushed into my cheeks. “Nothing.” He gently smiled, and his eyes shined to me in a different shade of green.

-

Taglist

@delicatepeanutsublime @ironspdy @architect-2015 @buendiabebeta @dreamergirlatpaddock @lercvlie

[kazumaple]

born to die ꨄ haikaveh

art by @/mezudy678 on twt!!

tw | suicide ideation, death, alchoholism.

word count | 1,424 words ★ genre | angst, mentally ill kaveh, mental illness, major character death, au where haitham dies and kaveh is sad basically, kaveh is delusional, like in the traditional sense, depression/depression-like symptoms, me monopolising on lana del rey's lyrical genius<33

a/n | this has been sitting in my drafts for i kid you not over 6 months i think?!?! so yeah i just thought i should post it before the new year! i ruminated over the ending for so long but yknow new year new me so i just posted it. idk why i always make kaveh suffer but here is he suffering again. enjoy!?!?

link to my masterlist/how to request!

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · · 

“I’ll be waiting for you in heaven, my love.” 

The firm grip on Kaveh’s hand loosens as he feels his lover’s strength wane, taking not just his own, but Kaveh’s life force with it too.  

No, no… just a little longer, please. 

“But heaven is a place on Earth with you,” the blonde sniffles, embracing Alhaitham for the last time, “Don’t leave me…I still need you.” 

A chuckle erupts from the man next to him, and at that moment, Kaveh wishes he could loop that sound and listen to it forever, to keep Alhaitham in a world of his own design, where they could live together in the grandest of castles, all designed by Kaveh himself. 

He would construct them the most convenient house. Two study rooms for when they want to keep their distance from each other, a private library for Alhaitham, and a garden filled with all of Lesser Lord Kusanali’s creations, the plants being residents of the home just as much as Alhaitham and Kaveh would be. 

Kaveh sees Alhaitham, chuckling as he does now, smiling at Kaveh, his face aged a little with time, small folds of skin wrinkling around his eyelids as he beams, his happiness radiating, forcing Kaveh to smile along with him. If only time would permit it. Alhaitham is smiling at Kaveh, and he thinks he’s never seen anything more beautiful in his life. He wants to sketch this moment to make it permanent. To cherish the final moments he has with his lover. 

“You’ll be fine, Kaveh,” Alhaitham puts a hand under Kaveh’s chin, forcing the older man to meet his deep green eyes, “I love you.” 

By this point, Kaveh’s vision is white, and he barely notices Alhaitham pull him for one last kiss until their lips touch. The kiss is gentle and delicate, too delicate for Kaveh’s liking. The lack of strength only serves as a reminder of his lover’s fading energy. Kaveh pulls away for breath, his golden locks now in disarray across his face, the crimson hairclips that once kept his elegant plait together now in mayhem.

“I love you too.” 

Those are the last words Alhaitham hears before his vision fades, the silhouette of the man he loves the most looming over him, a teardrop the last thing he feels before he slips into the calming embrace of death. 

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · · 

Thoughts race across Kaveh's mind like a marathon, as if each thought had something of utmost importance to attend to, leaving the blonde highly disoriented. Even more disoriented than he would usually be at times like this, because at the moment, Kaveh has downed enough litres of alcohol to provide the weekly water intake of a family of 6. 

It’s at times like this when he can’t keep his thoughts at bay. Kaveh tries his best. He really does. He tries his best to seem okay. To maintain the façade of normalcy ever since that fateful night. He goes to work, completes his commissions on time, eats all of his meals, and speaks to all of his friends. He meets Cyno and Tighnari every Saturday at Lambad’s tavern for a round of Genius Invokation TCG, his thoughts steering clear of the empty seat to his left. The seat which nobody would dare take after the loss of its original occupant. 

Kaveh really does try. 

But on nights like this, he can’t help but crack. When he comes home to nobody, no annoying, shrill voice to welcome him, nobody to nag him about his health or his rent. These are the moments when he feels truly lonely, the only reliable friend he can turn to being a tall glass of wine. 

He sits alone in their usual spot. Top floor, at the back, so that people are less likely to find them. He knows Alhaitham can’t take people coming up to him after his work hours. Kaveh doesn’t mind. But this is just one out of the long list of habits Kaveh has kept after Alhaitham’s passing. No matter where he may be, heaven or hell, Celestia or Khaenri’ah’s ruins, a part of him will always live on through Kaveh. Always. 

At some point, though, Kaveh stopped being alone. He started hearing him again. The gentle words of his lover wafting through his eardrums. At first, it was subtle. A few comments here and there. 

“That client is a jackass.” 

“Go to sleep, Kaveh.” 

“Come on, love, you’ve got a meeting soon.” 

But then it became ubiquitous. The sweet, honey-like voice of his deceased lover followed Kaveh around wherever he went. At first, Kaveh thought he was going insane. Now, he doesn’t care enough to worry.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough, love?” A gentle voice fills his eardrums in an instant, a deep chuckle resounding with it, “Though I’d love to hold you again, I’d like you to live a long, full life before then. Preferably not dying of alcohol poisoning.” 

Kaveh scoffs and crosses his arms, “I don’t have to listen to you! What are you doing to do anyway?” 

The blonde hears a deep sigh, “I suppose you’re right. I can’t force you to go home, but it would make me very happy if you did.” 

Kaveh, in his drunken stupor, actually considers this. With a clear head, Kaveh never would have considered this a valid argument. Kaveh will do what he wants. But alas, the hurricane engulfing his mind causes a lapse in judgment. 

“Fine,” he says, begrudgingly, “Only if you cuddle with me when we get home.” 

“You’ve got yourself a deal.” 

Kaveh then gets up and stumbles out of the tavern, paying the bill off his own tab this time. He supposes a benefit of Alhaitham’s passing was that his wealth and estate were passed on to Kaveh. Though this by no means makes up for the gaping hole in Kaveh’s heart, he is happy with the convenience his newfound wealth has brought him. 

The walk home passes in a daze, Kaveh blames this for his lack of comprehension, as by the time he's come to his senses, he’s tucked into bed, wrapped in the arms of Alhaitham once more. 

He looks into his lover’s eyes. The orange islands in the sea of green standing out more than ever before. Alhaitham’s arms wrap around him protectively, and he feels the safest he has in months. 

“Haitham,” Kaveh sniffles, “It’s been so hard without you here to guide me… I miss you… so much. Every time I think about you it feels as though somebody is ripping my heart out of my chest and stabbing it repeatedly with a knife.” 

“C-Cant you come back to me?” 

The soft sound of Alhaitham’s honey-sweet voice drips through Kaveh’s ears, “I’m here now, love. I’m here with you now, aren’t I?”

Kaveh groans, “I suppose so.” 

“Let’s go to bed now,” Alhaitham whispers soothingly in Kaveh’s ear, “You have a big day ahead of yourself tomorrow.” 

Kaveh lets the diluted voice of his lover lull him to sleep, his eyes getting heavier until they slide shut, and Kaveh surrenders to the deliria of dreaming for the night. 

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · 

The sun streaks through the gap in the curtains, its rays hitting Kaveh’s face, illuminating his vermillion eyes as they blink open, the fatigue of sleep dissipating. The first thing he feels when he comes to his senses is the utter lack of warmth in his bed. The very bed itself becomes a black hole, Kaveh stumbling over himself to get as far away from it as possible. The very bed that was once the safe haven of him and his lover, turns into the very thing that seems to trap him. 

H-He was just here.

The soft embrace of death feels more tempting than ever now. It would be easy for Kaveh to sink into it; his thoughts being engulfed by a soft lulling whisper, convincing him to let go of this world and all the pain it has caused. Nonetheless, he gets up. Brings himself to his feet. Walking towards the bathroom, he surveys the empty walls of his once lively house, accepting the soft, lonely numbness that has become a hallmark of his existence. 

[mxargo]

cold - spencer reid

summary: spencer is ready to give love another chance, but after maeve he might not be able to.

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader

word count: idk

warnings: mentions of past death.

bold italics are you singing to spencer.

based on the song: cold by novo amor.

p.s, i made this so long ago, just clearing out my drafts.

I miss her. i still think about the different futures we could of had, and I didn't even get to touch her.

for some reason, maeve was all I could think about when I'd see y/n.

maybe cause I was falling again.

y/n was perfect. she really was. her laugh, her smile, the way she'd pick out flowers or hand out soft pastries when someone was upset. her warmth and her happiness was contagious.

I couldn't get her out of my mind since I had met her. but when I thought of y/n, I thought of maeve. I felt so guilty and I didn't even know why. it's been four years. I should have gotten over this by now.

maeves gone. I thought I'd accepted that a long time ago. maybe I didn't and just pushed those feelings down, derek always mentioned I did that way too often, but I didn't mind it then.

y/n is here. she's alive, and she's always been there for me. which was only a couple of years but it always counted. I confined to her in so much. more so than the rest of the team, I trust her with my life.

when I got sent to prison she sat on the other side of the glass, looking at me with those beautiful eyes I fell in love with. I didn't want to fall in love again, but I did.

it's not like y/n and I are together, we're not. but, she deserves better. better than someone whose going to think of another girl whose already a ghost. I want to make myself a good enough person for y/n. she deserves that.

more than anyone.

y/n can sing. she sings to me when I'm sad. she sings to me when I practically break into her apartment and fall into her arms. she knows right away how to make me feel better. the same thing over and over again and I love it.

she takes her hand and and plays with my hair while the other rubs my shoulder. it's perfect, like a routine. I'm sad, and I need y/n. she's always here for me, even when I've managed to piss her off sometimes.

but here I am again, in y/n arms as she plays with my hair and rubs little hearts on my skin. her hands are so soft and soothing, which is probably why I end up falling asleep, either to that or her singing. maybe both.

"Heal your frays, just to know you'll wear them thin again. Peel off the name, that i gave and I knew you were within. Forget our nave, the summer spent within"

listening to her washes away everything.

"For all that its worth now you were worth it in the end. For all off your worth I would lapse and fall again. For all that its worth I would have loved you until the end"

I wish I could give her the everything she deserves.

"But i'm cold in your heart and you're branded into mine"

I want to be better. I want to be hers.

Bruise the hope, our endeavour would ever see the light"

I loved maeve. I did, but she's gone now.

"Choose your own, i'll face the world knowing that you've grown"

I love y/n, with everything in me.

"And i'll leave your curls and move past alone"

I want a future with someone, I always have. a wife, kids, a family. I want that.

"For all that its worth now you were worth it in the end. For all off your worth I would lapse and fall again"

I want to protect y/n, I can't lose her too.

"For all that its worth I would have loved you until the end. But i'm cold in your heart and you're branded into mine"

all I can do is look up at her and smile, curling back up against her letting the darkness take over.

she's everything now. hopefully forever.

[teenandbeyond]

Shoto T. x Dom. Fem Reader

Tumblr won't let me edit once in drafts?? Idk

Want more from me? Masterlist 2

☆*: .｡. .｡.:*☆☆*: .｡. .｡.:*☆

Misunderstanding

Warning(s): Smut, kinda choppy cause this was done forever ago between classes, curse words, idk what else

Shoto misunderstands your arrangement...

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

“This is my friend, [Name].”

Oh, you hated that sentence with a burning passion.

Especially considering you were more than that.

You leaned into Shoto’s ear, “I didn’t know a friend ate out another friend the way you did yesterday night.”

Only you saw the subtle bob of his Adam’s apple.

Shoto knew very well of the activities that you engaged in.

The only problem that you hadn’t realized until this evening?

He seemed to think you were only friends, despite you making it very clear that you’d passed that level.

Though you couldn’t blame him, he was new to relationships more intimate than friendships.

Hence, why he thought you were still friends. Even though every other night he’s balls deep—

“[Name]?”

“Yes?”

“Champagne?”

“Please.”

He knew you liked these stuffy galas as much as he did.

Which wasn’t at all.

All anyone would do is come up to him and try to make connections since he’s a high-profile hero—all night.

That’s how he met you, during his escape one year, he ran into you.

And then he’d take you as his date to any of them he didn’t prefer, letting you be his excuse to leave early.

“I’m sorry, I have to go. My friend [Name] here is exhausted, you understand.”

At some point, you became more than his excuse to leave, first a friend, then whatever you were now.

You were his first experience with something intimate, it was a process of years to build him up to his level of sexual comfort now.

And he appreciated your patience.

Now, Shoto craved something more with you…he didn’t know what it was, what was missing.

But he knew he wanted it.

He didn’t know why saying you were a friend left a bitter taste in his mouth every time he said it.

Or why he felt like strangling the men who looked at you hungrily at every stuffy party.

Or why he had sudden urges to kiss you, even in front of all the people.

Why you made him feel all jittery even outside of the bedroom.

He wanted to know why.

But he couldn’t ask you, never. He feared it would cross the boundary of friendship you had.

And the last thing he wanted to do was ruin what you had.

You pulled him out of his thoughts with a request to dance.

“Of course, you know I love dancing with you.”

The only time he liked dancing was when it was with you.

He liked holding your waist, your hands touching his body with even the purest of touches.

But he loved the eye contact the most.

Even from the beginning, you were never thrown off from his eyes. And he loved the connection he felt.

By the second song, he allowed a small smile on his face.

“Hey, [Name]?”

“Hm?”

“Thank you for being such a good fri–”

He was cut off with a finger to his lips.

“I swear if I hear you say that one more time.”

He raised a brow, utterly confused.

“You know? I think I need to clarify this confusion for you,” you traded your index finger for a thumb that teased his bottom lip.

Shoto involuntary shivered at the look you gave him, he knew that look.

“Think they’ll mind if we leave way too early?”

“Here.”

You couldn’t hide the surprise on your face, though you were intrigued, “Here? At your father’s little party?”

“He’ll be looking for me later—my stupid speech thing. I don’t want him harassing me with phone calls if I leave.”

“I see. You want to be a good little son, hm?” you couldn’t stop the smirk that appeared.

“Quite the opposite,” he teased your thumb past his lips.

└── •✧• ──┘

“Take it off.”

Shoto shed off the suit jacket of his three-piece suit.

It didn’t take long before there was nothing left to hide his torso from you.

You kissed his neck.

He let out little pants, a little embarrassed he would still tremble at the feeling.

“I won’t–leave marks so you can still look allll pretty for your daddy~”

“I want them. Want them all to see.”

You couldn’t say no to a cute little whine like that.

“Ah~”

You didn’t hold back all the love bites, his neck, his chest, his delicious abs.

“[Name], I want to—I want to touch you, too. Please.”

“We have something to clear up first,” you trailed the hand that was at the band of his pants even lower. You giggled as the gasp he let out.

“Clear up? What do you—fuck.”

You rubbed your hand over his eagerness.

“You seemed to be confused with what we are. What did you call us? Friends?”

“We-we are…”

“No, no. Sho, that isn’t what we are. Friends don’t make friends feel like this, don’t touch them like this.”

He couldn’t think properly once you’d pulled him out from his slacks.

Then you kissed him roughly, passionately.

He desperately kissed you back.

Then you pulled away before he was ready, he tried to chase your lips.

“We’re a lot more than friends. Friends don’t kiss like that.”

“I want–want more, please…” he gasped out.

You smiled, “I’ve noticed you learned how to ask nicely. Good job, Shoto.”

You didn’t miss how he twitched in your hand at the praise.

“Please, I—” his breath hitched.

“What do you want, baby?”

Your mouth, he wanted your mouth but he couldn’t find the words to say.

“Mouth—You, I want—I need—Hah~”

“You’ll have to earn it, Shoto. You know how to do that, don’t you?”

Within seconds he was lifting up the bottom of your dress and placing you on a desk.

“Someone’s eager.”

You openly watched as he dove in, his nose brushing a wonderful spot before he dug in.

A high-pitched gasp left you, Shoto was a quick learner, he’d learned what to do and how to please you.

This was different.

He had a whole different vigor, gripping your thighs tight. And the contrast between his hands and tongue never gets old.

You run your hands in his hair, moaning your approval.

“You know, if we were just friends, you wouldn’t have this. Someone else would.”

“I don’t wanna…” was all he could groan out before he lost himself in you again.

He didn’t like sharing. He wanted your body to only be for him and his only for you.

He decided he’d convince you he deserved you, putting a whole new level of effort into it.

And you noticed, you were unable to hold back your sounds of pleasure as much as you usually did. You were getting loud. And when you felt your eyes about to roll back, you had to stop him. You couldn’t lose control here.

“Shoto—Stop.”

He leaned away on his knees, chest heaving. He looked up at you in desperation, eyes blown out.

Your legs quivered a little and his eyes flicked back down, hungry for more.

“Your turn.”

“But I didn’t make you…I should’ve–”

“–Your turn.”

A few minutes later he was bucking into your mouth, begging, pleading.

“Please, I want to—I need to—Please~”

You pulled away, him whining at the action.

He watched as you slipped off your dress, trading the noise for silence. Only watching.

Almost a little predatory.

Maybe there was some dominance in there somewhere that was hidden, hidden until he got a little more comfortable to try.

Perhaps you’d explore that with him another day.

For now…

“Now, let’s get something clear–Sit down.”

You had motioned to the desk, but he was so out of it, he sat in the chair.

It didn’t matter, you supposed.

You caged him between your arms, “We aren’t friends. We’re more than that. The things we do are things that lovers do.”

“Only lovers touch each other the way we do. Kiss each other. Fuck each other.”

Lovers?

There’s was something else to call what you were? Shoto didn’t realize.

“I want to be that.”

“Good. So we’re not confused anymore?”

He shook his head.

But something was still missing, he swore it.

“I want to…go on dates and things like that…”

Your body language was open, listening, he continued.

“I want to only belong to you…and I don’t like when other guys look at you how I look at you. I want to kiss you. A lot and…all these other things I don’t understand.”

It seems both of you had misunderstood what you desired to be.

You thought he had just misunderstood there was a difference between friendship and what you were—what you thought, anyway.

He wanted to be more than lovers.

He wanted to be with you.

Was it strange that it made you feel warm inside?

“That would be…something more than lovers, Shoto.”

“Something more?”

“That’d be a romantic relationship. That’s what being exclusive to each other in a romantic way is. You do a lot of things together other than sex. Is…that what you want?”

He nodded his head.

That made all of this different now.

“Okay.”

Your next kiss was gentle.

So gentle it made him flush harder than he ever had.

“I’ll make this different okay? It won’t be like the other times.”

He bit his lip as you settled onto him; slowly.

“Fuck~”

You moved slow at first, his hands settled on your hips.

“Shit—Shoto, you’re mine. All mine, you got that?” you groaned out.

“All yours, yes.”

It didn’t take long for the pace to get faster.

But it was different, it was filled with something Shoto couldn’t put into words.

It made him feel whole. Made him want to scream. Made him want to smile. Made him want to cry.

He expressed it with his hands, squeezing before one moved lower.

“Yes, touch me right there.”

You tightened around him, making him whimper into a kiss.

He was close.

Your kisses went down his jaw, then his throat, “Go ahead, baby.”

He gasped, releasing it all. His hips were out of control as he emptied everything.

But eager to please you, he kept moving until you did, too.

It took a few minutes to recover, bodies pressed together in the chair.

“So, Shoto?”

“Hmm?”

“Whose office is this? You seemed to know exactly what room to go to. Do you know when they’ll come back?”

All he did was breathlessly chuckle.

The only reason he’d be laughing like that, with a hint of mischief in his tone…

“You didn’t!”

“I did. He’ll never know.”

You pulled away enough to laugh, “It’s your dad’s office! That’s like, the biggest ‘fuck you’ you can give.”

“It’ll take a while to fully forgive him, I couldn’t help it since I had the opportunity. He deserved it.”

You fell into a fit of giggles, “Petty ass.”

At some point, you finally got straightened up and dressed, leaving the room on your way back to the party.

Shoto raised a brow when you stopped him.

“Where’s your tie?”

“Hm?”

He looked down and noticed it was, in fact, not on him.

“Did you forget it in the room?”

He smirked, “Well, guess dear old Dad will be getting a little token of our appreciation, for the used space.”

[zv5x]

What if reader was really obsessed with Senpai, [like they played his game everyday whenever they can, literally memorizing all the choices and reactions, all that jazz] And they found a way into the game?? Basically yan!reader x Senpai

Also idk if these are taken but could i please be 🥀 or 💐 anon?? Tyssm!!

You can most definitely have those Anons! Either one you want since they're both open! Also omg??? I absolutely love this consept!! Thanks so much for requesting it! Remember to stay safe and take care of yourself!

( :̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅)

You hummed, gently tracing a finger across your television screen as the familiar menu music played oh-so beautifully. It was truly the peak of music in your eyes, not that it had any right to be anything but however. What would you do if the game that inhabited your beloved soulmate was anything but remarkable? It would be nothing short of blasphemy, that was to be for certain.

Under any other circumstance, you'd be turning this game on simply to see the man that made your entire universe go round. To just talk to him, read those dialogue screens with the same amount of interest you had before you memorized everything the absolute angel had to say, to just be in his presence for as long as you could. Every second you spent around him made your world feel a little bit purer, he made everything feel like it was going to be okay.

Today, however, marked the day that you would be the one giving to him, instead of just he giving everything he could to you. It broke your heart that you couldn't do anything to repay Senpai for his kindness, almost as much as it broke your heart when you forced yourself to obtain a negative game ending for curiosities sake. Your body fell under a deep, agonizing sickness every time you even pondered about whether or not Senpai realize how truly adored he was. That is why you did everything in your power to make sure you could show your love to him.

You went through every library in your area and even beyond that reading various literature pieces regarding dimensional travel, as you assumed that is what it would take to finally be with him physically in his very world. By the time a few days passed, you considered yourself a master of the subject.

Your once clean desk was now cluttered and messy as you went over a final draft for your plans. It was simple, really, to simple. It was quite inconvenient that you only had to rely on books that were written before video games were even established on the consumer market, but it would have to do. Search engines were deemed unreliable from the minute you began doing your research on them - believing that you were intending to enter the video game industry rather than physically entering the universe of a certain title.

Eventually, you stood in front of Senpai with grand confidence, and with a promise to fufil. Soon, you'd be within his physical reach. He was smiling at you, saying words of such love and adoration, as if he was breaking through the bounds of the games script just to praise you for your hard work. Within the next hour, you'd have paid your debt to your beloved. His hard work and determination to make this relationship work would finally be appreciated by his one true love.

Giving the pixelated figure a gentle kiss, you laid back on the floor and relaxed your entire body, thinking solely of who you were trying to meet and exactly what you wanted to accomplish. You remembered reading in one of your covered books that the main method of dimensional travel was complete detachment from your physical self in this reality. Of course, your fears of not being able to meet Sen were immediately eased, considering you felt you have long mastered the art of depersonalization.

Soon, you felt yourself grow tired. Maybe that was a sign everything was falling in to place, or maybe it was just your lack of proper sleep catching up to you the moment it saw the opportunity. You hoped the second reason wasn't the case, and you quickly focused your thoughts back onto your goals as everything faded into a calming black.

You truly had no way of knowing how long you were out for, but what you did know was that the climate felt noticably different from your room. The air felt pure, clean and just the perfect amount of coldness to make breathing a genuinely enjoyable necessity. As soon as your eyes opened, you were met with a figure standing closely in front of your face. Upon waking up just for a few more seconds, your eyes quickly widened and your heart began to pound in an extremely fast paced rythem. It was him. It was your cherished, beloved Senpai.

"Ah, there you are!" He sighed in relif, gently patting your head as he gave you a reassuring smile. "I thought you'd never wake up, I was so worried!"

"Sen-Senpai?!" You immediately sat up, prompting him to give you a soft laugh as he sat you back down into a more relaxed position. He hummed and nodded his head, looking at you with a look of such elegant care that it made your heart completely swell.

"I appreciate you being so happy to see me dear, but I can't have you moving too much after you just woke up. It must have been a nasty fall for you to be out for so long..." He gave you a slight pout, and you stared at him for a moment whist blinking.

For some reason, he didn't seem as...happy to see you as you would have expected. You wanted to feel a form of disappointment, but everything had its reason, and you had to ask Senpai before making assumptions.

"Sen...do you know who I am?"

You asked, and all he did was tilt his head. "Well, no, I assumed you were a new student at first..." He gave a nervous giggle, before rubbing the back of his neck. "Have we...met before...?"

Your heart sunk. He didn't...he didn't remember you? No, that couldn't have been the case. The love the two of you felt was too strong for him to just forget. Maybe something needed to just jog his memory.

"M-my name is (Y/N), I told you my name was (N/N), we spent entire days together, I got all of your games endings, we've been through so much together Sen! Please, try and remember!" The desperation in your voice was as clear as day, and even Senpai felt it. He looked down for a moment, trying to throw your name through every inch of his mind. Until, he hit a mark.

All those times he spent with you, the good, the bad, everything you gave to him and everything you did for him. It was you! His player, his (Y/N)! Suddenly, you saw his eyes brighten and tears prick his pretty blue eyes. Letting out a choked gasp of pure bliss, he threw himself into your arms and pressed his forehead lovingly against yours. Of course, you immediately wrapped your arms around his perfect form, peppering him with as many kisses as you could manage and moving your arms up to be able to run your fingers through his hair. It was just as soft as his game sprites made it look. Absolutely perfection. You knew you had no reason to worry, you just needed to jog Senpai's memory a bit. After all, how could he forget the love of his life?

"I-I can't believe I'm finally able to meet you, (Y/N)..." He said, his normally perfectly silky voice trembling with euphoria. "Please...never leave me..." A soft sniffle could be heard as he nuzzled his head into you and completely laid himself onto you, and you promptly gripped him as tightly as you could without bringing him harm.

"Don't you worry, Senpai..."

You said, leaning back slightly to be able to look him in his pretty eyes. You made him a promise from the moment you saw him, and you could never even think of letting a person as pure and perfect as Senpai down.

"I'll be by your side forever." Kissing him gently on the top of his head, you smiled and rested your cheek upon it. "I wouldn't dare let anything tear us apart."

[starlightxsvt]

Hellion

pairing: Jeonghan x female reader

genre: fluff, suggestive, idk what this is

warnings: cursing

word count: around 1.5k

A/N: Firstly, happy birthday to the Jeonghan, our con man. I know I'm a day late so forgive me for that. Secondly, I've no idea what the hell I wrote. I've cancelled two other drafts I wrote for his birthday cause none of them were coming together and in the end I've decided to post this shit. Anyway, your feedback would be really appreciated in this mess of a story :').

"What's Jeonghan doing here?" You hiss to Mingyu who has a hard time prying his eyes off of Chaeyeon. "I invited him. I never thought he'd actually come. I'm surprised too." He replies.

"Wha- why would you invite Jeonghan to my birthday party!" You glare at him to which he rolls his eyes, "Come on now, he's in our friend group. And college is almost over. You don't know when you'll see him again. Ogle him while he's still here." He smirks.

"What did you just s-"

"Oh come on, don't act like I don't know that he's your secret crush. Maybe make up with him and if you're lucky you'll get some good dick as a birthday present." Mingyu chuckles at your open mouth before scurrying away to avoid your wrath. You glare at his retreating figure before inhaling sharply. And before you can stop yourself, you start to look for him.

You spot Jeonghan at the large porch in the back of Mingyu's house, sitting in one of the porch seats while sipping beer. He looks dashing as always, his black hair messy, his pale skin glowing in the moonlight, his cheekbones getting a prominent shine. You sigh.

Jeonghan was an exhausting person to be around and maybe, he'd say the same for you. You've known him since highschool and after a particular incident of him spilling his banana milk all over your brand new scarf, you decided to call it war. To this day you believe that he did it on purpose because you told your homeroom teacher that he slept during his class.

After that it was like an unspoken rule- you two would bicker whenever you were in the same space. It only infuriated you that he was so good looking, smart, famous and the fact that you had some feelings developing for him. Each time you saw him with a girl you'd feel a bitter feeling all over and you could only hope that those feelings would pass over time. But no they didn't, they only grew- the small branches had formed a tree now, the roots planted deep in your heart.

"How long are you going to stand there and stare at me?" Jeonghan calls, without turning behind. You clear your throat before walking to him, "Didn't expect to see you here, fuck face."

"Can you not call me names for a day please? You're just jealous I'm good looking." He remarks drowning the can of beer.

You snort, "Haha. You wish, loser." You plop down beside him. "I see you've finished quite a few cans. What's up? Got ditched?" You poke him.

"What do you care?"

"You're ruining the mood here with all these sad aura around you. Go drink your sorrows away somewhere else, this is my party."

"Yet you are sitting with me and my sad auras."

"I came to tell you that," you scoff, crossing your arms over.

"Parties are not your thing, I know. And Mingyu wasn't shy on inviting people. It feels more like his birthday than yours." Jeonghan comments, still staring ahead. His words are true and they infuriate you. You can't help but get defensive, "What do you know, sad boy? I'm enjoying myself just fine."

"And yet you are sitting with me and-"

"Stop saying that, will you!" You snap. Jeonghan chuckles before looking at you. He unabashedly eyes you up and down, heating your cheeks up in the process.

"Nice dress," he murmurs. His words catch you off guard and you glare at him, "Stop staring at me, pervert."

"You were staring at me earlier."

"Seriously? Can you stop for one goddamn second?"

"You're the one who started it."

"That's it. I shouldn't have come here," you stand up to leave but to your utter surprise Jeonghan grabs your hand, sending your heart to a frenzy. "Wait."

You swallow nervously, heart thudding loudly in your chest as Jeonghan lets go of your hand and meets your eyes, "Sit down, I've a gift for you."

You frown, "You have a gift for me?" Jeonghan nods before sitting straight, setting down his can. "Before that, I need you to know something."

"W-what?"

"I really didn't spill my milk all over you intentionally that day." He meets your eyes.

You can't help but laugh out loud partially because he's still concerned about that and partially because you believe he's lying.

"Listen here, sad boy, I've put that well past me. And I know for a fact you did it on purpose so don't-"

"You didn't, ___. We've been fighting over that for our whole goddamn lives. And no, I'm not lying. I've no reason to. I never cared if you told our teacher shit or not." His chocolate orbs bore into yours and you swallow. The air surrounding you suddenly becomes thick and you start to feel jittery and maybe a slight amount of guilt. Is he really speaking the truth?

"W-whatever, I don't care anymore." You say, sitting down gently beside him.

"And yet you still hold a grudge against me," Jeonghan sighs. "Besides you're not even fun to fight with."

"What did you say?"

He laughs, his eyes forming crescents and the sweet melody echoing in the air. You quickly look away before he catches you staring, "I don't have all day. Where's my gift?"

"Yeah, right." From beside him he produces a bag that you didn't notice before. He hands it to you and you tentatively peek in, half expecting a bug to jump out.

To your utter surprise, a scarf that looks identical to the one he ruined lies there. A small gasp leaves your mouth.

"I bought it that day after I stained yours. I was going to give this to you as an apology but dear lord, you were on my ass the second I got to class next day." Jeonghan speaks and a blush coats your cheek leaving you feel vulnerable all of a sudden.

"I don't know what to say," You whisper more to yourself. Jeonghan chuckles, "I know, you're touched. It's okay, we're even finally."

You bite your lip and exhale loudly before meeting his eyes, "Thanks." Jeonghan moves his hand in a dismissive wave. "I thought I'd finally give it you, call it a truce. We'll probably never see each other again after this month and I wanted to depart on good terms."

Your throat constricts, an overwhelming sadness enveloping you. He's right, you two would probably never see each other again. His dad owns a huge business and he'd probably go abroad to manage it.

"You're right, let's call it a truce," you whisper staring at the scarf in your lap.

"Come on now, don't look so sad, sad girl," Jeonghan teases you and you roll your eyes. He's still the same.

He hands you a beer, "Have a drink with me to sign the truce." You quietly laugh, taking the can from him. You two share a comfortable silence, staring at the night sky, the music from the party fading into the background until Jeonghan decides to break it.

"I know you like me, ___." The words slip past his lips like it's the most casual thing ever. You choke on your beer before looking at him eyes wide like saucers, "W-what!"

Jeonghan slightly turns to face you, his features calm, "You don't have to act. I've known all along."

Oh. My. God.

Heat spreads all over your face like wildfire. Your first thought is that Mingyu told him. You chew your lip as you see no way out. "W-who told you?" You squeak.

"I've figured it out myself," He says nonchalantly, resting his head on his hand as you stares at you.

"You-you did?"

"Mhmm."

You fumble with the hem of your dress before murmuring out, "I-I should get going." You need to escape him. Forever.

But Jeonghan isn't done. He casually goes on, "I've always thought you were pretty. Even when you get red after losing an argument." You blush furiously as your palms sweat.

"You know I really had no intention of picking a fight with you but you...you were so desperate to bring me down. You always speak too much and I often think about the many ways I could shut your loud mouth. Such a shame, we would've made a great couple."

Your face feels like it's on fire by now. You swallow before nervously laughing, "I s-see what you're doing here...You're trying to p-prank me, asshole."

Jeonghan runs a hand through his hair, sighing, "See? There you go again, running that damn mouth." Your lips press together as you clench your fists, thinking of a way out. In the blink of an eye Jeonghan scoots closer to you and leans in to capture your lips in a kiss.

A squeak leaves your mouth as Jeonghan tilts your head, cupping your cheek. You want to pull back, smack him, call him names but you can only moan as his mouth slots against yours perfectly. Your tongues clash as you grab a fistful of Jeonghan's shirt, moaning.

When you pull back for air, you're mortified, wanting to be swallowed up by the ground. Jeonghan is totally calm as he takes in your messy state licking his lips.

"Do you want to continue?"

"W-wh-what?"

"I said do you want to continue this? If you don't want to I'll leave. If you do then you're coming home with me. Which one is it gonna be, ___?"

You bite your lip. Oh my God. This can't be happening.

You grit your teeth as every ounce of your resolve disappears, "I...I want you."

The smile on Jeonghan's face is victorious, a smile you've seen million times before, a smile that makes you week in the knees. "Good girl." He says encasing your lips in another kiss before standing up holding out his hand. "Come along, sweetheart. I'm gonna ruin you for any other man. Even when it's morning you'll only be thinking about me," he whispers in your ear before tugging you out of the porch- your heart hammering in your chest as you squeeze the scarf on your hand.

Fuck, you owe Mingyu a fruit basket or some shit now.

A/N 2: Also, that video of Jeonghan exercising made me 🥵🥵 this man is so infurating. I was literally dehydrated from watching that video.

[imaginedhaven]

Rules of Engagement: Chapter Nineteen

Link to Masterpost

It’s here! It’s finally here! Thank you all so much for putting up with my extended absence while I wrangled this chapter and my life. The first half feels... idk, kind of filler-y? But I hope the second half makes up for it!

Definitely just one more after this and then an epilogue.

~*~*~

Aelin frowned as she looked over yet another draft of a letter, grabbing at the candle on her desk to keep it steady as a particularly large wave rocked the ship. “I hate formal letters,” she grumbled.

Aedion chuckled from the bed across the room from her own. “It can’t possibly be any worse than the… seventeen previous attempts,” he said as he glanced at the scraps of paper littering the area around her.

“Aedion, this is important.” She sighed, tugging at her own hair. “Everything is on the line, and I need it to be perfect.”

“How is it,” he asked, “that you can be absolutely fearless facing down a Valg queen and yet be so defeated by a simple piece of paper?”

“Says the male who couldn’t even tell me he’d met his father before we’d already left Wendlyn,” Aelin retorted unthinkingly before immediately regretting her words.

Rather than get angry, though, Aedion only sighed. Aelin frowned; he must truly have been torn about the situation, if he wasn’t yelling at her. “Says the male who followed you to face down said Valg queen,” he replied, though it was without any of his usual teasing.

“Very well,” she said primly. “If you would like to write to the lords and request this meeting, then by all means.” She stood up and positioned herself beside the desk chair, sweeping an arm toward it in a grand gesture with a grin.

He finally laughed, and though it was a shadow of his normal reaction it made her smile regardless. “You don’t want me writing to the lords under your name. They’d only hate you more.”

Aelin sighed, tugging at the end of her own braid. “It was easier when I didn’t care how they felt about me, you know.”

“I know.” Aedion stood then, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “But for what it’s worth, the fact that you care—and that all you’ve done here, you’ve done for Terrasen—those facts, not any pretty words you can put on a paper, are what will hold the most sway.”

“I hope you’re right.” She leaned against him, head resting against his shoulder. “I’m certainly not good at pretty words. You saw my letter to Galen, right?”

He chuckled at the memory. “’Terrasen remembers Evalin Ashryver.’ So needlessly dramatic.”

“Well, it worked, didn’t it?” she asked, defensive. “He met with me, and he even agreed with me.”

“I never questioned your results, cousin, only your methods.”

Aelin let out a noise that sounded embarrassingly close to a squawk, outraged. “My methods are what got us to this point, cousin,” she reminded him. “They brought us the proof we needed as well as the support of other royal lines. Not to mention the end of a longstanding enemy of Terrasen. Oh, and a Valg queen.”

“That reminds me,” Aedion drawled as Aelin froze, “I wanted to ask you about how you knew of this Arobynn Hamel in the first place.”

Aelin winced. While it had been easy enough to avoid the question with Captain Westfall, she knew Aedion would not be so easily put off. Not to mention the fact that she was fairly certain he was still upset with her for keeping her plans from him. If she didn’t handle this in just the right way, she was liable to have a far larger fight with her only surviving family than she was prepared for.

And she was certainly not prepared to handle the situation correctly now, not while there was so much else to do. Instead, she sighed. “Can we talk about him later?” she pleaded. “I really do need to work out what I’m going to say to the lords.”

“You’re terrified,” he said softly, as if in realization. “I didn’t stop to think of why you never told me. I was just angry that you were leaving me out when I could help.”

Aelin grimaced. “Is it truly that obvious?”

“It likely wouldn’t be to many others. Only to those who know you well.”

With a wave of her hand, she extinguished the flame of the candle on her desk. She wasn’t going to get any further on the letter, not right now. Perhaps she would go up to the deck and let the motion of the waves ease her mind. That plan had the further benefit of ending this conversation; Aedion was avoiding looking at the ocean for any great length of time.

Before she could leave, though, Aedion spoke again. “Tell me, Aelin. What are you so afraid of? Why would you keep all of this to yourself, for so long?”

Aelin sighed. So the truth-telling was to start now after all, then. “You’ll hate me,” she whispered.

“I could never hate you.” His reply was soft and yet fierce, and when she looked at him she saw a fire in his eyes that matched her own.

“Truly?” she asked. “Even if I nearly left Terrasen with no clear ruler?”

There was no hesitation in Aedion’s voice as he responded. “Even then. Terrasen is our home, but you’re my family.”

Aelin could feel the tears welling up in her eyes from the affirmation of her cousin’s loyalty and devotion. Rather than letting him see it as well, though, she tugged him into a firm embrace. “I’m going to the upper deck,” she declared, “before you decide you’re sick of me after all.”

He laughed. “It’s far too late for that. Are you sure you’re not going up there to see if you can spot a hawk following behind the ship?”

Aelin didn’t bother pretending she didn’t know what he was talking about. “He won’t be,” she said simply. “I ordered him not to.”

As she climbed the ladder and looked out onto the horizon, though, she couldn’t quite stop herself from looking eastward and imagining a pair of wings in the distance.

~*~*~

“We’ve spoken of this continent at great length,” Sellene said as she set a map aside. “But what of Erilea? Did we have ties with them? Will any of the nations want diplomatic ties, other than Terrasen?”

“I imagine most of Erilea will want to hear from you, now that we’re establishing ties with Terrasen,” Rowan said wearily. “We largely ignored the entire continent before now, as Maeve never left Doranelle.”

“And now we know why.” Sellene frowned. “I should probably make it a point to arrange a diplomatic tour and re-establish some of those ties. We’ve been secluded for far too long as it is. Not to mention, I’m soon to have family in Erilea.”

And there it was. He had been wondering how long it would take her to bring up the obvious relationship between himself and Aelin. To be blunt, he was surprised she had made it a full week without that teasing glimmer in her eyes. “It would be even sooner, if you would consider my portion of this mess completed so that I could leave,” he remarked pointedly.

Sellene laughed, clearly delighting in his misery as she usually did. “And ruin Aelin’s moment? I couldn’t possibly be so rude. No, she told me exactly when to send you back, and I intend to listen to her.”

“And I’m assuming you don’t intend to tell me a damned thing about it,” he grumbled.

Though she didn’t directly answer his question, Sellene’s grin told him everything he needed to know. “You’re about to be leaving us forever,” she said in a tone approaching serious. “I think that means I can keep you here for a little bit longer.”

“Does it bother you?” Not the question he had intended to ask, but he supposed he couldn’t take it back at this point.

“On a political level, or a personal one?”

“Either. Both.” Sellene wasn’t the closest of his cousins; that honor belonged to Enda, with whom he had been raised. However, the Whitethorns were a close enough family in general that it was possible and even likely that she had an opinion of some sort about it.

“No, and no,” she smiled. “Your mating and likely eventual marriage to the future queen of Terrasen is a political boon, not a drawback at all. Not to mention that I like her for you. She’s going to challenge you, and the gods know you need that.”

“She already has,” he grumbled, but he couldn’t keep a hint of a smile from his face in response. “Daily, in fact.”

“I knew I liked her.” Sellene shifted her attention back to the maps laid out in front of them. “She has family in Wendlyn as well, right? Her potential claim came from her Ashryver heritage, if I’m not mistaken.”

Rowan nodded. “She does, though relations between Wendlyn and Terrasen have been somewhat strained of late. Maeve’s disapproval of the marriage between Evalin Ashryver and Rhoe Galathynius left an impact that has been felt for decades.”

“I see,” she muttered. “So this transition is truly going to affect large parts of the world.”

“Larger than many know, and larger than most of those who know are willing to admit. It will likely take months or even years for the full impact to be revealed.”

Gods, he certainly hoped she didn’t intend to keep him here for months or years. It had been ten days since Aelin had left and ordered him to remain, and they had been some of the longest days of his life to date. The pull of their bond tugged at him with every waking moment, just enough that it was impossible to forget, and he frequently found himself looking to the northwest as though he could see her across the sea that separated them.

A slender hand tucked itself into the crook of his elbow, and he turned his head to see that Sellene was now standing beside him. “It won’t be forever,” she murmured. “It won’t even be very long. I know we can’t hope to keep you for any great length of time.”

It was true enough, certainly. Even the blood oath he had sworn felt like a mere suggestion against the pull of the mating bond, one he knew he could likely work around with even the most shallow of excuses. Still, he frowned at his cousin. “And yet here I am.”

“I have plans for you yet,” she replied. “We’re done for today, though. I need to meet with Lorcan and Vaughan, now that they’ve returned.”

Rowan nodded and turned to the window again, glancing once more in the direction of the sea. “Vaughan is likely to stay and serve you,” he said quietly. “It’s Lorcan you’ll need to convince.”

“I don’t intend to keep anyone who doesn’t wish to stay. Yourself included. I’ll meet with them all, but you’ll all have a choice.” When he turned to face her the amused glimmer was gone from her eyes and the corners of her mouth were drawn down in a thoughtful frown. “I will not rule as Maeve did.”

“You never did like me having sworn to her,” he recalled.

Sellene scowled. “She swept in when you were at your lowest moment and made a bargain you had little choice but to accept. Our family may have officially forgotten that, but I assure you that I have not.”

“It was my choice,” he protested, the words sounding hollow even to his own ears.

“We can discuss this later.” She dismissed the topic with a shake of her head. “I really do have a meeting to get to, and you’ve been staring at the skies for the past hour. Go fly.”

Rowan didn’t even wait for her to leave the room before shifting, darting out of the open window in a flurry of winds and wings. He may not be able to go to his mate just yet, but perhaps the flight would clear his head long enough to do what had to be done.

~*~*~

Aelin sighed as she stared at the double doors she knew led to the audience chamber. The lords of Terrasen had gathered as she had requested, and now that she’d had a day to try and rest it was time to face them.

As she stood, she smoothed trembling fingers over the green silk of the gown she had chosen for this meeting. It was a simple style, adorned with a belt and jewelry of silver to match Terrasen’s colors. Though as crown princess she was entitled to wear a circlet in official meetings, she had chosen to forego the headpiece. Instead, her hair was braided around her head in a style that mimicked the circlet she had decided to go without. She and Lysandra had carefully decided on every element of her appearance that morning, knowing she would need to present herself as someone who loved her country, but wasn’t preemptively assuming the role she was seeking.

She truly disliked this part of politics, she thought with a sigh. But her image mattered just as much as her deeds, for all she thought it shouldn’t, and she had a part to play.

With that in mind, she carefully assumed an easy smile before pushing the doors open and strolling into the room.

A long table had been set up in the chamber, with a seat for each of the prominent lords of Terrasen. She glanced at each one as she passed, as was expected and polite, though she didn’t truly see any of them. No, all of her focus was on the open throne at the end of the table. It would continue to go vacant, of course; Darrow was only a regent, not a king, and she was not yet queen. They each had their own chair on either side of the vacant throne, and Darrow was already seated in his.

With any luck, this would be the last day the throne would be empty. Aelin took a breath and thought a silent prayer to Mala Fire-bringer before sitting in her own chair. “I’m so pleased you were all able to meet with me on such short notice,” she began. “Much has happened since the last time we were all able to gather.”

“I should say so,” a voice sneered from across the table. “A foreign queen is dead, by your hand. Your letter admitted as much.”

Another deep breath, and Aelin looked inside herself, searching for the drop of calming water at the center of her fiery power. “Lord Sloane,” she acknowledged, pleased with the lack of tremor in her voice. “I’m certain you have concerns, as there was only so much I could share in my letter. I hope to address those concerns today.”

“And we are pleased to hear your explanation.” This voice was warmer, and Aelin rewarded Lord Murtaugh Allsbrook with a thin smile.

“Thank you, Lord Allsbrook. My cousin and our general, Aedion, has gathered the evidence that we obtained over the course of the past several months, proving that the Fae Queen was not who she claimed to be.” With that, she set the book and various papers they had accumulated during their research on the table, to be passed around among the lords. “Before I acted, I presented this evidence in Adarlan and in Wendlyn. I also sent copies to the other ruling families in Erilea, though I did not have time to wait for all of them to reply. I did everything I could to both protect us all from the threat of the Valg and upset the balance of power as little as possible. That leads me to the reason I called you all here today.”

“Why call us here, if not to explain yourself?”

Another deep breath, another grasp at what calm laid within her. “Explaining my actions was always intended to be a part of this meeting, Lord Ironwood. I could hardly expect you to trust me blindly.”

A softer voice spoke up then. “You have my thanks, and you should have the thanks of all present, for both saving our kingdom and taking the time to explain your actions.”

“It was the least I owed you, Lord Suria,” she replied.

The meeting went on, her own words barely registering in her ears. Ordinarily by this point she would’ve already singed some of the papers spread across the table, or at the very least shouted at someone as smoke began to fill the room. Rowan’s training had paid off, after all.

She quickly cut off that line of thinking. It wouldn’t do to tune completely out of the conversation in favor of missing Rowan, not when everything she had worked for was on the line.

Finally, she reached the moment she had been building toward. “So, we’ve agreed that my magic is much better controlled than it has been in years. That leaves the question of a spouse.”

“Yes,” Regent Darrow interjected. “We heard that you won’t be marrying Prince Dorian after all. Have you made another selection?”

Aelin took a deep breath. “It is my request to you and to all of the lords present that I be allowed to assume my throne without a husband. I believe that I have proven myself and my love of this country, and I have made every effort to comply with your requests. Many of our previous rulers, and many of our current and previous lords, have gone on to successful careers unmarried and found their spouses in good time. This is not a declaration that I will never marry, simply a request that my current marital status be removed from your consideration of my right to rule.”

Silence followed her statement, but Aelin kept her nerves from her expression as best she could. She had said her piece and presented the evidence, and now her fate rested in the hands of the lords.

She knew that Lords Ironwood, Sloane, and Gunnar would be the least likely to accept. Lord Allsbrook was likely firmly on her side, and Lord Suria had proven reasonable in the past. Regent Darrow was technically one of the lords as well, and she couldn’t be certain whether or not he would approve of this maneuver. Either he would be impressed by her machinations or he would resent her for going around him.

That left Lord Lochan, who had remained silent throughout the deliberations. She wasn’t certain of his decision, either. She could only pray.

An unexpectedly high-pitched voice interrupted her thoughts. “I don’t see why we should impede Aelin any further. We will still be around as counsel, and I believe I serve as proof that a woman can rule without a husband.”

Aelin turned to the speaker and shock overtook her.

~*~*~

Aedion paced in the hallway outside the audience chamber, hand gripping the hilt of his sword tightly as he walked. There was nothing further he could do. While he was a successful military leader and his word might have held sway on a matter regarding the troops alone, he had no title or lands in Terrasen and he could not have any decision on the matter of Aelin’s right to rule.

He wondered if Aelin felt equally powerless, with her fate in the hands of the lords and only her words to guide them.

No, surely Aelin was actively plying every charm she had available to her. She wasn’t locked out of the room while they deliberated, as he was. While the final decision would not be her own, she still had some degree of power.

A noise broke the silence behind him and he whirled around, sword half drawn before he recognized the person who stood before him. “Nervous?” Lysandra chuckled.

“Are you not?” Aedion sighed as he did his best to relax. “I don’t think I’ve felt so powerless in years. The last time was after the first time you told me off for… how did you put it, exactly, ‘territorial male bullshit’?”

“Aelin helped with the phrasing,” Lysandra admitted.

He snorted. “That much was obvious. It’s a fight we’ve had for years now.”

She leaned against his side, humming softly. “She’ll be fine, you know. Evangeline’s been working on Darrow from the moment we arrived, and you know his vote holds the most sway.”

“Has she, now?” He tugged playfully on one of her chestnut curls. “I can’t imagine who she learned that from.”

“Well, it most certainly wasn’t you. To be blunt, I’m amazed you haven’t drawn that sword and rushed into the room already.”

So was he, but she didn’t need to know that. Instead, he turned to properly embrace her. “And to think I was about to tell you how much I missed you,” he teased.

“Here in this hallway? Where anyone could find us? How scandalous.”

As Lysandra laughed, Aedion felt his ears grow warm. “As much as I’m certain at least one courtier would enjoy the show, I’d rather save that part of it for later.”

“Well, that’s a good thing. I couldn’t stop someone else from coming down to see you as well, since you arrived after her bedtime.”

Aedion turned just in time to see Evangeline flying down the hall, golden locks streaming behind her as she approached him at a full sprint. He bent his knees just enough that he wouldn’t be knocked over by the impact and caught her gently around the waist, something in his chest tightening at the way she wrapped her arms around him. “I missed you too, Evangeline,” he assured her. “But Lysandra tells me you’ve been keeping busy while I was away.”

She nodded and smiled. “I’ve been helping Regent Darrow. I deliver messages. Sometimes I write them too, but I’m not good at that yet.”

“I’m sure you’ve been very helpful,” he replied. “And I’m glad to see you’ve been doing well.”

“You’re back to stay now?” Citrine eyes dark with suspicion glanced up at him. “You’re not leaving again?”

He sighed. “I can’t promise I’ll never have to leave,” he cautioned her. “But I’ll always do my best to come back home as quickly as possible. And I don’t have to leave anytime soon.”

She nodded, hugging him once more before taking up a position behind Lysandra. Lysandra let a hand rest on the girl’s shoulder and glanced up at him. “So now we wait?”

Aedion nodded, one hand lifting to card through his own hair. “Now we wait. There’s nothing else we can do.”

He supposed it was a good sign that the audience chamber was so silent. If no one had raised their voice, it was likely that Aelin hadn’t set anything on fire either, and that was possibly the worst thing she could do at this point. Rowan had trained her well, certainly, but not even years of intensive training would manage to wipe away the bulk of Aelin’s temper and the male had only had a few short months to attempt the task.

On the other hand, it was entirely possible that the room was silent because Aelin had decided she preferred knives to fire. Aedion shivered as he considered the possibility.

Before he could ponder too much further, however, the doors opened and he immediately straightened, hand returning to the hilt of his sword. His cousin emerged from the room, shoulders drawn in close and looking down at the floor. She was obviously exhausted, but neither her posture nor the soft conversation still ongoing in the room behind her provided him with any indication as to how the meeting had gone.

He rushed to meet her as she allowed the doors to swing shut behind her and took a deep breath. “How did it go?”

“I was unaware that Lord Lochan had died while we were in Doranelle,” she replied. “I know you probably didn’t know either, but it would’ve been nice to avoid looking like an idiot in front of the lords.”

Aedion grimaced. “Did it truly go that poorly? What did they say?”

Aelin finally looked up at him, eyes gleaming. “His daughter inherited his position, and did a great deal to argue our case.”

“Little Elide is Lord of Perranth now?” he spluttered.

“Lady, technically, and she’ll pretend not to hear you if you address her otherwise in a formal capacity.” His cousin grinned. “I might need to adopt that tactic myself.”

He wasn’t quite certain how he managed to avoid his knees buckling in relief. “Then it is done?”

“I’m afraid not,” she replied. “You’re about to have a great deal of planning thrust upon you.”

Aedion frowned. “Planning? Whatever for?” Gods, if the lords had renewed their case for a marriage between himself and his cousin… well, he would do it if she asked it of him, but she might also kill him so it would remain an impossibility.

Aelin laughed. “So serious. For my coronation, of course.”

“Your coronation?” Lysandra asked from somewhere behind him, and he was grateful she had done so for he found himself suddenly unable to speak.

“Yes. You’re looking at the next Queen of Terrasen, and the lords have officially approved of my ascent to the throne.”

Aedion hugged his cousin tightly, not missing the triumphant gleam in her eyes. Now that this moment was finally here, he wasn’t sure why he had ever doubted her ability to sway them. After all, it only took one glance at her now to see the queen that she was.

Perhaps the lords had finally seen it, too.

~*~*~

Tagging:

@ireallyshouldsleeprn @queen-of-glass @fangirlprincess09 @sassys-world @morganofthewildfire @superspiritfestival @perseusannabeth @sis-it-dont-add-up @jlinez @julemmaes @emilyoftheshadows @thegoddessofyou @mymultiversee @swankii-art-teacher @rowansfirebringer  @rabodocardan - having a hard time tagging you! Not sure what broke on tumblr this time lol @courtofjurdan @danibutterr

[thedreamingscorpio]

Tell me more about Undulations :)

Oh thank you so very much for asking this, it came at the most perfect of times in every sense of the word❤️.

Since I'm so happy, I'm gonna go all out, also it's rather funny that you happened to ask me this today, since it was today that I decided that maybe I really do need to write something down y'know? And Undulations is all I've been thinking about all day.

Before anything else, I'll also take this opportunity to post the inspired creation?(trying my hand at Krita for the first time, and just symbolism that was taken a little too far, where some things didn't quite turn up as I wanted them to, the first one's the original, the other's are cropped screenshots with a colour channel being omitted, gave it a different dimension in my thought process)

I think it'll have to be called a creation 'cause idk I can't find a befitting word. They've been rotting in my drafts for too long in hopes of a fourth chapter that is taking forever to come, so I'm just jumping the chance here lol:

Ah! Finally! (Thanks for giving me the window to post them :)

So Undulations is basically the first real idea that got me into writing, I've been thinking for a really long time, but this one really built itself and as of now it is very much of a living, breathing entity in its own right.

As for the actual plot, I think even after so many alterations, it's created this really prominent watermark in my mind that I just gotta build on. Tbh, the way I describe it in my head is a dark, cleverly humorous, psychological yet simple story, which sounds very very far off from the reality of it as it stands now but given that that is what I'm aiming for in then end, it's symbolic reference is very much like the superimposition of an MRI and a transparent ultrasound film, with negatives and greys and dents and nothing really clear, but a lot happening there simultaneously (sorry that's the best comparison I could come up with it's hard to explain 😅).

I also realised how with two pivotal OCs and a canon character the plot really needs to be thought of in terms of character development as well, maybe like individual scripts? I knew that from the very start but I never realised that even after creating some sort of checkpoints in the story, I'd have trouble, or rather find myself staring at four ways when it comes to a character's (OC) reaction, 'cause even though I created them myself, the process of getting to know them like a real person, befriend them or maybe even come to a meh status is rather hard. Won't say that predicting canon character reactions is simple either, sometimes even more daunting, but I feel it comes easier somehow.

As of now, I'm working on developing a map for the same, and yes if anything create some basic outline. Oh and yes how can I forget, I always had these supporting characters in my mind when I visualised the scenes but never really named them, I did today, so that's a step forward.

I feel it all ties to the confidence I've lost in my time away and just my general tendency to overthink and hyperanalyze stuff in the end, perhaps writing faster, without stopping will help. I'm not really sure though.

With that I thank you once again for letting me unload in this word vomit of an answer by asking the question and I hope you have a lovely day ahead❤️!

P.S: The notation used is a portion of the song:

[broadstbroskis]

idk if you’re still doing t-swift prompts but if you are could I request brock boeser and mary’s song!! btw loved your matty tkachuk + wearing his name story💕

ahhh thank you 💜💜

here is brock and mary’s song (with some accidental paper rings vibes thrown in, oops sorry not sorry🤷‍♀️)

-----

The evening of your fifth birthday, after all of your friends had gone home with their party bags and the only people left were your family and your next door neighbors, your sister comes running inside to drag you away from your brand new paint set to bring you outside where she was playing with her best friend.

As older siblings of their families, Lauren and Jessica were sure they knew best and it’d was only the start of what was sure to be a summer of being pulled into their games and forced into whatever role they didn’t want to play. The ugly stepsister from Cinderella. The student in class. The worst Cabbage Patch doll.

Luckily, you had a partner in crime of your own. Jessica’s brother, Brock, was almost two years older than you but that still made him younger than the two of them, and in Lauren and Jess’ minds, that may as well have made you both babies, dolls for the two of them to play around with. 

Brock’s sitting on the ground, picking at the grass, looking grumpy, so whatever Jess and Lauren have planned, must be something he’s already been waiting for them to organize for a while. But your face lights up at the sight of your best friend and you happily go sit down next to him, content to just be near him as he continues to pick at blades of grass and see which ones are good for whistling with, while continuing to wait for your sisters.

Really, you’re always just happy to be near him. Brock hung the moon. He’s the best hockey player. He’s always so nice, including you in games with his friends or wandering over to your house after school or practice just to see if you wanted to do something. 

“Okay.” Jess claps her hands together. “I think we’re ready.”

Lauren shoves a handful of dandelions in your hand and pulls you up to stand in front of her and Jess. “Stop!” She shrieks, when you go to make a wish on your bouquet. “Not yet!”

Jess is in the process of man-handling Brock to stand across from you and he’s still grumbling, trying to pull his arm away from his sister, but once he’s standing in front of you, he smiles at you, like the two of you are sharing a secret or teaming up against your older sisters- the way things have always been really.

You and Brock against the world.

“Brock.” Jess signs long-sufferingly. “Do you want to marry YN so that Lauren and I can be sisters forever?”

He gives his sister a look. “Uhh, I guess?”

She huffs at him, annoyed. “You’re supposed to say I do!”

“I do!”

“YN.” Lauren addresses you. “Will you marry Brock so that we can all be related and stay friends forever and ever?”

Is that what this meant? Weddings made you related to someone forever? As if you’d ever say no to that! Lauren and Jess are glaring but it’s Brock’s hopeful look that makes you grin. “I do,” You say solemnly.

“Great!” Jess cheers. “It’s time for rings.” She hands you each a round piece of construction paper. “Put this on each other’s fingers!”

“Yours is purple and Brock’s is blue, because those are your favorite colors.” Lauren adds, matter-of-factly.

Brock is smiling as you slip the blue circle on his finger and then you giggle as he tries to find one of yours that the purple ring will fit on. He finally slips it on your thumb, and it stays, mostly, and the two of you look back at your sisters.

“What’s that thing…” Lauren trails off.

“What thing?”

“That thing!”

“Oh!” Jess cries. “Um. I now pron-prin-ce you man and wife! Kiss the bride!”

Brock gives you a skeptical look and you eye him right back, but he obliges and gives you a small kiss, both of you immediately wiping your lips afterwards. “What next?” He asks skeptically.

“We blow out the flowers!” Lauren says, excitedly. “And make a wish!”

It’s easy to distribute your bouquet between the four of you and then make your own wish. You can’t ever imagine a more perfect day than today, so you just wish for more of them.

-----

The day of your sixteenth birthday is the day that Brock is drafted by the Vancouver Canucks and instead of the Sweet Sixteen party that your friends have been dying for, you spend it sitting in front of a television, anxiously waiting for his name to be called.

When it finally is, you can’t stop grinning, and announce that cake can now be served. Your dad makes a joke that there are two things to celebrate now, but you had no doubts in your heart that there wouldn’t have been. Brock was going to be drafted; you’d always known it. It was just a matter of where he went. 

And well, blue had always been his favorite color. 

The Boeser’s don’t return until mid-week, at which point summer break has begun, which means you’re pulling yourself out of bed at midday right around when they’re pulling into their driveway.

Your dad opens the front door, without looking up from the paper he’s reading on his way back to his home office, and you know instantly what that means, running outside to go meet Brock, still in the short shorts and oversized tee (that originally had belonged to him) you’d slept in last night. 

Brock’s unloading the trunk of the car but he drops the bag he’s holding onto the driveway just in time, to catch you as you leap into his arms and spin you around. 

“I’m so happy for you.” You mutter into his chest, when he returns you safely to the ground. 

“I’m sorry I missed your birthday.” He says, into your hair.

“Best present ever.” You declare, ignoring that familiar fluttering feeling in your stomach that’s been popping up more and more often whenever he says incredibly sweet things like that.

“Yeah?” Brock laughs, squeezing you once. “Wait until you see what I brought you from Florida!”

“You brought me a present from Florida?” You gasp, teasing him. “You knew my birthday has been coming up and you waited until the day of to buy me a gift?”

He grins. “It’ll be worth it. Clear your schedule tonight, okay?”

You’d already agreed to go to a party with some of your friends, deep in the woods behind someone’s lake house, but you’re sure they’ll understand. “Okay.”

Brock returns the smile you send him with a grin. “Good.”

A few hours later, he’s leading you to your favorite ice cream shop and then laughing as he purposefully brushes some along your nose within minutes of sitting down. “Brock!” You laugh, twisting away.

“You missed a spot.” He teases. You pull a face at him, brushing at the side of your nose. “No.” He huffs. “Here.” He licks his thumb and then gently wipes the opposite side. 

Your breath catches in your throat. He’s so close, so close, so freaking close. “Thanks.”

Brock smiles back. “Anytime.” But this smile seems different than his usual smile, definitely softer and with this hint of something you can’t quite put your finger on, which starts to drive you crazy when that smile stays on his face for the rest of the night.

It’s late when Brock finally pulls your gift up onto the table, still sitting out on the patio of the ice cream shop and overlooking Main Street in your town on the extremely mild June evening that has plenty of people still walking around. “Big bag,” You joke, and then attempt to fall back on an old stand-by to try and ease the fluttering in your stomach that’s been in overdrive because of the smile on his face. “You sure there’s not a car in there?”

Brock gives you a look. “I got drafted, I didn’t sign shit yet.” You laugh. “But go on, open it!”

You grin at him and then reach into the bag, pulling out a flat object, immediately grinning at the driftwood “greetings from Florida” sign that will fit perfectly in with the aesthetic of your room. “Hey, sweet!”

“There’s more,” Brock encourages.

You reach in, fingers touching fabric, and hoping beyond hope for a kitschy Florida t-shirt, you’re shocked when you pull out a Canucks jersey. “Brock.” You breathe, looking up to see his expression, but he’s closer than you’d expected, and suddenly he’s so close…

You close your eyes, reach up for his cheek, and kiss him back. 

-----

It’s the first day of real spring in Vancouver and Brock convinces you that it’ll be a good idea to go and grab dinner and a drink at your favorite rooftop bar.

“It’s going to be crowded.” You whine at him. It’d been your least favorite thing about the city since moving in with him after you graduated college last spring. Everywhere was always packed the second the weather turned beautiful. 

“Come on,” Brock whines back, mocking you, easily pulling a grin to your face. “It’s so nice; it’ll be worth it.”

Brock’s never lied to you before and you have to admit that he’s right about tonight as well as soon as the two of you start walking over. The bar’s not even super crowded, surprisingly, and you two grab a table in the corner easily, starting to make light chatter as you browse the menu, like you’re not just going to get the same flatbread that you always end up getting.

Brock laughs as you place your order and then makes his own choice, before turning back to you. “So what’s new?”

You groan. “Lauren is driving me crazy.” There’s a sound from behind you and you turn to look, but Brock grabs both your hand and your attention back.

“How?” He asks, with a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye.

“These stupid wedding favors and this stupid bachelorette party!” Jesus, did he need you to go on? Your sister was a certified Bridezilla and everyone, including Lauren, admitted it!

“Well,” Brock says mildly. “I guess you never know what you’ll be like until you actually have to start planning a wedding.” Another noise behind you has you nosily turning to look until Brock follows his first statement with, “Are you ready to see what we’ll be like?”

You’re not even halfway turned to looking at the table behind you and you think you get whiplash turning back toward him. He did-what the-what did he say?

But sure enough, Brock is slipping out of his chair and onto one knee, holding open a small box to show off the most beautiful diamond ring you could imagine.

“You’re going to have to ask me better than that.”You somehow manage to get out.

He grins. “Will you let me replace the construction paper with a real one, YN?”

There’s definitely tears running down your face as you nod, you can’t even remember if you actually ever say the word “yes”, but there’s a ring on your finger and you’re kissing him through the tears and he’s running his thumb against your cheeks when he pulls back. 

Which is when you realize that everyone on the roof are your family and friends. Jess and Lauren sweep you into a hug, alternating comments about how “you’ll see” once you actually start planning and at the same time, squealing about their happiness. Quinn, Petey, and Jake, three of Brock’s teammates, start a ping-pong game with you, bouncing you back and forth between the three of them for a minute, sharing their excitement.

Over their shoulders, you see Brock is grinning at you as he’s wrapped up with your parents. And suddenly, you can’t stand not being next to him; it’s the hardest thing to wrap up with everyone congratulating you and push your way over to Brock.

“I love you.”

He grins back, somehow wider, even though the grin hasn’t left his face since he slid the ring on your finger. “I love you too.”

“No.” You try not to groan in frustration because how is he not getting this? He planned this whole thing for you. He is the world’s most amazing human, your rock, your idol. The person you’ve looked up to most for as long as you could remember. “I just- never mind.” You loop your arms around his waist, sure he won’t understand. “I really love you.”

“I’d hope so.” Brock teases. “Because I’m really serious this time. We might have just been fucking around with the paper, but this one’s for life.”

[obxlife]

In Need of Help (Pope x Reader)

A/N: Okay, so I had this idea for Pope and I knew I had to write it! I just feel like it’s very sweet and soft and idk. Plus, it has an enemy to lovers trope, which I personally love. Also, the valedictorian and salutatorian at my school are also dating and I just got that idea from them lol.

Word Count: 3,513

Request: -

Summary: Pope finds himself with some trouble regarding his scholarship work, and he knows he can’t turn to his friends for this. Instead, he sucks up his pride and turns to you, the runner up for the Lucas T Vanderhorst Merit Scholarship. Oh, and his enemy regarding academics. 

Warnings: Mild swearing.

IN NEED OF HELP

Pope was in trouble. Not serious trouble like JJ regarding his dad or John B in relation to the DCS and basically being homeless. No, Pope was in trouble in a way that may almost seem absurd. 

He was struggling with his goddamn scholarship essay. And the worst part of it all was that he had technically already won the scholarship. 

See, this was just a follow-up essay he had to do to ensure he was not going to be ripped apart from the opportunity of actually getting the scholarship. And it had been the hardest essay he had to write. Mainly because it asked for more of a story instead of focusing on a scientific topic, and Pope had always struggled with that. 

The paper he was writing his draft on was filled with eraser marks and little doodles around the edges. Most of the doodles were of things he could see. His eraser, his pinky finger, his cup of water on his desk. There was only one he wasn’t really sure why he had drawn. It was the one object that was not in the room with him at that instant, and the worst part of it all was that he truly hated it. What had he drawn? You. 

For some reason, Pope had drawn you onto the edge of his paper. He didn’t really understand why he had because, as mentioned before, he hated you with a passion that ran so deep in his veins it was a part of who he was. Pope could not be himself if he didn’t hate you, and it was just the same for you. You couldn’t be yourself if you didn’t hate Pope.

Pope began to rub his pencil over the small drawing of your face, wanting nothing more than to get you out of his head. He hated that he had drawn you of al people, and he hated how stuck he was on this stupid essay.

Pope hadn’t realized how much force he was using to press his pencil into the paper until he ripped it. Throwing his pencil down, Pope sighed and pressed his hands to his head, stretching in his seat. 

“That’s it,” he said to himself before grabbing the papers from his desk, his pencil, his eraser, and his pencil sharpener into his backpack. He then grabbed the folder that had arrived through the mail and gently took it into his hands. Pope turned outside of his room and headed towards the shop in front of his house.

His father was behind the counter, checking an old lady out.

“Dad,” Pope called out to him from the door. “I’m heading out.”

The older man froze. He thought he had told his son to work on his scholarship. “I thought I told you to work on your scholarship. Now you know I don’t want you slacking around -”

“I know, I know,” Pope told him. “I just need to clear my head. I’m going over to John B to see if my friends can help.”

“Look here, boy,” Heyward called out to his son while pointing his finger out. Pope stood at the door, on hand already pushing it open. “What are your friends going to help with? They’re all a bunch of good-for-nothings.”

Pope sighed, only shaking his head and turning towards the outside, throwing a “Later, Pops” over his shoulder. The hot afternoon air made Pope’s body break into a sweat, but Pope didn’t mind as he headed deeper into the Cut towards John B’s fishing shack. 

The Chateau stood mighty and tall before the marsh and surrounding it were Pope’s friends. JJ was laying across the hammock sipping on a beer and a joint in his hand while Kie lay opposite of him, playing the ukelele. John B was nowhere to be seen, which meant he was probably inside.

“Hey, guys,” the dark-haired boy called out to the pair. He smiled as he saluted them with their usual handshake before taking a seat in one of the broken-down chairs. Pope set his backpack on the ground, careful not to fold the papers in his hands.

“What you got there, Pope?” JJ asked curiously. Pope knew what he held in his hands would not interest JJ, so he told the boy straight out what it was.

“Scholarship stuff.”

Indeed, JJ shrugged and turned around, bringing the joint back to his lips to take another drag of it. Kie, instead, showed interest in the papers held between Pope’s fingers.

“What do you have to do this time? Another essay about something science-y?” she wondered. 

Pope nodded but then shook his head. “Sort of. It’s an essay but they want a story. But I don’t know what to write about. Like, most of the stuff we do is illegal.”

Kie laughed at this before saying, “Then lie. Just take the illegal parts out.”

“Hard to do when they’re essential to the story,” Pope replied. 

Now JJ laughed, smiling at Pope and diving into one of the many illegal memories they had made together.

While this helped Pope clear his head, it was not guiding him as to what to write for his essay. After about an hour or two hanging out, Pope sighed, knowing he would now have to work on the essay.

“Okay guys, I need y’all to be serious right now. I really need to get this essay done. Any ideas?”

Kie and JJ stared at him blankly, not really knowing how to help. Pope groaned at their reaction, but then groaned even louder when Kie said:

“Why don’t you ask Y/N Y/L/N? Wasn’t she second place for the scholarship?”

“Kie, I literally hate her. We’ve been competing over the top spot in our grade for our whole lives.”

Kie shrugged. “Yeah, but now the scholarship is yours anyway. And besides, didn’t you say the only thing she was better at than you is story writing?”

“I said that when I was drunk,” Pope deadpanned.

“Doesn’t mean it wasn’t true,” JJ said quickly before taking another sip of beer. 

Pope really didn’t want to go see you. He had way too much pride to do so. But his options were wearing thin and he had to send this essay in a week, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to do so himself. 

“Well, even if I went to Y/N, I doubt she would be willing to help.”

Kie gave him a hard look. “You don’t know that.”

“Neither do you, Kie,” Pope sighed. “Look, I’ll go to her but she probably hates my guts. I did take the scholarship from her.”

“Hey!” JJ scolded. “Don’t say that, man. We know you won it fair and square. You deserve it.”

“I know I did. But that doesn’t mean she won’t hate me for it. We all know she needs that scholarship just as much as I do to get into college.”

It was true. You had lived your life down in the Cut, working just as much as Pope did with his father. Your mother was the owner of a small boat repair shop which she had received after your father’s death. Because she couldn’t and didn’t know how to work on boats and because your father had taught you everything you know, you were the head repair woman there. Everyone on the island knew how much time you dedicated to the shop, almost as much time as you dedicated to school. 

“Look, man. Let’s be real. Everyone born on the Cut knows they’re probably going to be stuck here forever. You and Y/N were just lucky to have the opportunity to might have not been stuck here, but in the end, you got it. I’m sure she won’t be bitter towards you because she probably still expected her life to be spent on the Cut either way.”

Pope sighed. He knew what JJ was saying was probably true but he hated to think of that. 

“Just go to her, Pope,” Kie told him. 

With that, Pope collected his belongings and headed out towards your shop. It wasn’t far from the Chateau, maybe a five-minute walk, but Pope managed to get there in thirty minutes. He was trying to push back the inevitable. 

Once he arrived he stood outside for another good ten minutes, building up his courage to go in. Breathing in deeply, he told himself that he was going to be fine and that your hate for him had probably dissipated a bit since the end of the school year. He opened the door to the shop and found it was empty except for two men looking down at the bottom of a boat. 

They didn’t turn around when Pope had entered, too concentrated on the person Pope just now saw that was under the boat. 

“What you thinkin’?” one of the men asked as you pushed yourself from out under the boat. The skateboard you were laying upon was uncomfortable and your muscles sighed in relief as you stood up next to them. 

“We’re gonna need two orders of plugs from Guffy and then we can start working on this bad boy,” you told them before wiping your forehead. “Well, I’m off, boys.”

And just as you spun around your eyes fell upon the boy at the door.

“You have got to be kidding me.”

Pope could only smile innocently, hoping you would spare him some time of day. 

“What do you want, Heyward?” you asked rudely while heading towards the back of the shop. Pope began to follow you around, sparing a glance at the two men you stared at him dirtily. 

Pope was sure you hated him now.

“Look, I-I need your help, Y/N. And I know you hate me but I really need it.”

Anger and pain were laced in your eyes as you spun around to face the dark-skinned boy. “Yes, I do hate you. And I don’t want to help you. You took the scholarship from me, Pope.”

“Well, technically I didn’t. I won it. But,” he raised his hands in defense when you gave him another murderous look, “I seriously need your help. They gave me a task I know you’re better at than me and I don’t know what to do.” 

You began to tie your hair into a ponytail as you felt your skin grow hot with anger. “So what? You thought you would just strut in here and I’d be willing to help?”

“N-no, but I thought -”

“You thought what? That out of the kindness of my heart I would actually help you? Need I remind you that you took the scholarship from me?”

“I didn’t take the scholarship from you! I won it, fair and square and you know that!”

Your eyes fell to the ground, defeated. You knew what Pope was saying was true, but the denial had helped you cope with the fact that you weren’t enough for the scholarship. You weren’t enough to get out of the Cut.

“Look, Y/N,” Pope began awkwardly. He was scratching the back of his neck, not sure if he was going to be able to get you to help him. “I know you wanted the scholarship - hell, you probably wanted it more than me. And I’m sorry you didn’t get it because you truly deserve it, but I’m not sorry that I got it. And I know that’s selfish, but let’s be real here. We both want to get off the Cut, and we always knew that only one of us was going to make it. So please, please, please help me get out of this place.”

You thought about it. Really hard. And Pope stood before you fidgeting with his fingers and doubting if what he said was the best thing he could have said. He opened his mouth, a rant about to burst through his lips.

“Fine,” you stated. You were going against your instinct, but at least you would get him to shut up. “I’ll help you. But I get free groceries for a month.”

Pope stuttered before answering. “What - you - I - you know I can’t do that! My dad would kill me!”

“Well then, you’ll have to pay with your own money.”

“Okay, fine! But only because I’m really desperate.”

****************************************************************

And so you and Pope began to work together every day for the following week. It only took two hours for you to drop your grudge against him and laugh at his stories and jokes. He would smile at your reactions and feel his previous hate for you to slip into something more similar to love. He began to notice how pretty your eyes were when they seemed to sparkle in the afternoon light and how your skin reminded him of warm summer days. You began to notice how your stupid hatred for him began to transform into a crush. His chocolate brown eyes reminding you of coffees on chilly, winter mornings and his soft smile reminding you of innocence.

Between your hours spent working together, you would talk about other things. You told him about your mother and her disease (which didn’t let her work at the shop with you) and how your friends at school were all out of town because of a road trip they had planned which you couldn’t go on. He told you about the Pogues and the pressure he felt sometimes from his dad. You both told each other a lot more than you had ever expected to share, but the feeling of comfort and understanding that followed these confessions was enough to maintain the both of you stuck together.

Exactly a week after Pope had approached you at your boat shop, you both headed together to the post office that was near the police station. Together you sealed the envelope containing the finished essay and placed the post stamps onto it. You watched Pope pay for the dispatch of the letter and then you walked out together. 

You felt dread in your stomach, not wanting to have to turn your back on your new friendship. You didn’t know if Pope felt the same way as you did, but you felt like you had come to the end of your short relationship. You felt as if, years from now, you would look back and remember Pope as the boy you only helped write an essay and nothing more, which made you afraid to no end. You didn’t want Pope to be only that.

Unbeknownst to you, Pope felt the same way. He was expecting you to turn towards him and say goodbye, followed by a snarky remark. He expected you to go back to hating him and not thinking about him. All he wanted was you to prove him wrong.

“Do you want to grab something to eat?” you both asked at the same time. Then, your eyes widened at the same time, both of you shocked that you wanted to carry on with your friendship.

“Wait, you still want to hang out?” you asked him. Pope nodded vigorously.

“Yeah. Did you really think I wouldn’t want to be your friend anymore?” he asked, a little hurt.

“Shut up, you thought that about me as well!”

With smiles on both of your faces, you turned around towards the Wreck, where you knew Kie would give Pope a discount.

**********************************************

The Pogues hadn’t seen their smart friend for a month. Ever since JJ and Kie had convinced him of reaching out to you for help, he had disappeared.

“Pope pulling a Houdini,” JJ remarked as he arrived at the Chateau to find that, once again, Pope was not there.

“Have you guys even heard from him?” John B asked. 

JJ shrugged but Kie bit her lip. “I see him at the Wreck every once in a while. He’s been hanging around with Y/N.”

“Y/N?” John B said almost laughing. “Okay, we both know they hate each other and that’s a lie.”

“I’m not lying, JB,” Kie rolled her eyes. “I literally saw them there yesterday.”

“No way! Pope has to be dating her!” JJ exclaimed. “It only makes sense! Future valedictorian and salutatorian.”

“That would make a cute couple,” John B muttered while thinking about it.

Kie coughed, trying to bring the boys’ attention back to the main issue they had. “Look, guys, we need to get Pope to hang out with us again. He’s been blowing us off and I do not have enough patience to keep you two from doing dumb shit.”

“Mama’s mad,” JJ whispered. This earned him a smack on the head of the girl.

“Let’s just head over to her shop and see if they’re there.”

*********************************************

“Wait, so JJ stole some boat plugs?”

Pope nodded, perched upon the edge of the boat you were working on. He was leaning back, a book in his lap, as he told you one of his many crazy stories about his friends.

“I don’t know why you asked for my help for the essay when you have so many stories to tell.”

Pope sighed. “As I’ve said before, most of them are illegal.”

You nod your head at what he was saying, agreeing with him. You continued to work on the boat as you felt his eyes upon you.

Pope was looking at your eyes at first. He was counting how many flecks of color they held. Then, he moved onto your skin, noticing how smooth it looked. He wondered if it would feel smooth against his fingers, or if your mouth would feel smoother. He then noticed how plump your lips looked, and Pope could feel himself leaning closer to you.

“Y/N?” he called out so softly you almost didn’t hear him.

You spun your head to look at him, suddenly noticing how small the distance between the both of you had become. You felt butterflies erupt in your stomach and you wondered if he felt them too. Your heart was pounding in your chest, and you could only wait until his lips were pressed to yours.

Feeling nervous, Pope began to speak. “I d-don’t want this to be awkward but I’ve been wanting to kiss you for a while.”

You nodded your head, inching even closer to him. His lips looked a little chapped, but you were sure that it wouldn’t matter once you kissed him. 

“And I don’t know if you feel the same or if you -”

“Shut up, Pope,” you giggled before plunging forwards. You pressed your lips to his own, moving them and giving him a few seconds to respond. When he did you smiled a little before continuing what you were doing. Your arms reached up to hold his face while his arms brought you closer to him and positioned you between his legs. Pope’s thumb was drawing circles right at your waist, and you finally broke apart from him when the door of the shop opened.

You didn’t break eye contact with Pope, but a sudden loud whoop made you stumble away from each other. Spinning around you found JJ, John B, and a girl you recognized as a Kook standing before you. You were frozen in place as Pope headed over to them to cover up JJ’s lips. 

“Pope boy finally getting some action!” John B hollered while you felt your cheeks go red. The girl rolled her eyes at his friend before sending you an apologetic look.

It only took Pope three seconds to round them up and take them outside. You got back to working on the boat, trying to distract yourself from what had happened. You felt embarrassment rise up inside of you at being caught kissing the boy you liked.

Soon enough, Pope returned inside and stood next to you. You didn’t turn to look at him in shame and fear at what he might say.

“They wanted to see me since, you know, I haven’t been hanging around them recently.”

“Oh.” This was the moment Pope was going to tell you he didn’t want to be friends with you anymore and that he had now noticed how you were all too time-consuming. However, the boy surprised you.

“They invited us to hang out tomorrow. They said they want to meet you.”

You smiled and turned to look at him. “Really?”

“U-um, yeah. They kind of think you’re my girlfriend so…”

You blushed at that thought. Being Pope’s girlfriend was something that made your insides swell and feel light and soft and good. 

“Okay.”

“Okay as in ‘yes, I want to hang out with them’ or as in ‘yes, I want to be your girlfriend’?”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “Is that your way of asking me to be your girlfriend?”

Pope awkwardly nodded before looking at you. The smile on your face seemed to be glued on and Pope copied your facial expression. You leaned in again, kissing him softly.

“Take your guess, Pope,” you teased him while smiling. 

“I really hope it’s the second one.”

[elliot-orion]

1-5! :)

Pretty sure this was from the deep dive asks a while back., sorry for it taking so long! i just didn't have a project to work on, but I do now!! I’ll be answering for the White Lake (temp title) characters, Logan, Nellie, and Charlie.  Thank you so much! 

1. Who are two characters that don’t like each other? What do they reveal about each other to the readers? Will they ever learn to put aside their differences?

Logan and Nellie have a bunch of tension at first, honestly. Logan is stubborn, but Nellie is more so, and both want opposite things. They also have a weird initial dynamic of “we were like... friend adjacent in high school, haven't talked to each other since, so we feel like we know the other but we’ve really barely exchanged a few words outside of class projects.” They were both the school weirdos and stuck together out of necessity, not real friendship, even tho both consider the other a friend even tho they really aren’t, so it leads to a lot of ‘i think you are this way but you arent behaving this way, why the hell wont you behave this way??” bc of the other like... placing what they want the other to be like onto them. if that makes even a lick of sense. I guess it all reveals what they want in a friend to the reader, bc they assume the other to be their Ideal Friend since they have nothing to confirm nor deny that. But its more of a ‘what you want versus what you need’ thing. Nellie wants someone who will listen to her and let her protect them without asking questions bc not listening and asking too many questions that nell couldn't answer got her one actual friend killed. Logan wants someone who just accepts his weirdness and doesn't try to push him. But Nell is pushy when she thinks she’s right (and tbh she usually is), and Logan is curious, and its a mess at first. They do put aside their differences tho. Nell is determined as hell and she realized at some point that she needs to work with Logan to keep him safe, and Logan learns that he needs to teach Nell how to accommodate his autism (that he doesn't know is autism because his parents suck) because she has no idea and just thinks he’s being difficult and has to meet her halfway too. Its messy but they work it out and become way way better friends because of it.

2. What do you hope readers will take away from your WIP? Is there an intentional theme (or themes) to the story?

I mean there’s not an intentional theme to it. I definitely want people to be unsettled and a little freaked out, I am intending it to be like... romantic era horror level horror book, if that makes sense. more atmospheric and eerie then ‘im actually going scream I'm so afraid’ horror. But also themes of friendship maybe? idk I haven't decided if there will be romance yet but definitely friendship and found family stuff.

3. What do you love most about your protagonist? (It can be something you’d admire in them if they were real, or something interesting about them as a character.)

Oh jeez. I love how determined Nell is to protect Logan. She doesn't always do it right, because misunderstandings and her idea of safe is different than his idea of happy and she needs to learn that he might be safer with her way but he’d be miserable. She just loves her people so much and she’s determined not to fail again, but its all coming from a place of deep love and I really admire how much she’s willing to put into keeping her family together. For Logan I admire how strong he is honestly. He lives in a really conservative, ableist town with parents who think he's just being difficult when its not his fault he's neurodivergent, but he knows who he is and what he needs and even when Nell is trying to push her beliefs about him onto him he stands strong in who he is. He knows he’s not wrong. He’s just lonely because no one else knows that. Its really admirable in my opinion (maybe because I've never been able to do that with my neurodivergencies and I'm definitely projecting but whateverrrrrrr). He’s also a really good friend, he’s just not given many chances to be that. As for Charlie I just love how happy they are. They try so hard to get Nell and Logan to get along, and they are always smiling even when they are the one who has the most reasons to be miserable (considering they did you know. die horrifically and are now trapped by an eldrich lake)They are always pushing themself to make others happy, even at their own expense, and while its not a trait I admire, it is one that I love in characters because I just love the hurt comfort when they break :3 also they are just fun as hell and I love my little extrovert cinnamon roll (who is way more devious than they seem but thats what happens when you basically grow up and then spend about 130 years with a ghost circus)

4. Is there anything in the story that is implied, but not directly stated? Will this become more relevant later on? How perceptive would a reader have to be to pick up on this?

A lot of the lake stuff is implied at first, and there's a big misdirect, but it gets cleared up after just a bit so I don't think it counts. Um... idk ok I haven't even written draft one yet so idk what will be implied vs told I'm a pantser I've got about 6 plot point checkpoints and a vague idea of progression here most of this is being bs-ed. Im not even sure yet if I'm making Logan a trans guy or if there will be romance or anyone’s sexualities besides Nellie (who is v much a lesbian) I’ll get back to you on this. Although wait actually - Logan never gets his autism diagnosed, I know that, so that is implied but it's like. heavily implied so you won't have to be super perceptive to figure it out. I’m not doing any -coded stuff, he is, he just lives in a shitty town with no therapists for anyone to talk to. kinda hard to go to a therapist not from town and go ‘yea my best friends are ghosts, my town is actively trying to kill me, sorry im late the road disappeared how are you today?’ you feel? no one in this town gets any goddamn therapy. But its not explicit no. 

5. Which character has the most intricate backstory? Is this backstory common knowledge from the start, or is it revealed later on? How does this backstory affect the narrative?

Oh man uh... I guess Charlie has the most intricate backstory? definitely, the longest since they did die in the 1890s. In a fire. While they were trapped in a tiny ass box. in the middle of said fire. and burned alive.  .... What i said it was horror didn't i?? Charlie has some SERIOUS claustrophobia my guys. It’s common knowledge to the circus folks how Charlie died, they sorta agree its the worst of them all. Everyone died from the fire but only Charlie was trapped in such a small space unable to get out. They are the contortionist of the circus, it was a combo act with the magician who locked them in this way-too-small box and was going to make them disappear when the fire started and he ran off to help people and forgot them in the box. He’s super apologetic and Charlie only sorta still blames him. Logan and Nellie know that Charlie died in the fire but they don't find out until later exactly how. Idk how much it affects the narrative yet, but it does affect how Charlie interacts with the other circus performers since they tend to be mother hen-y around them, tho that also has to do with, again, charlie basically being raised by the whole crew. they ran away at like 11-12 or so to join, so yea, especially the people who have been there forever tend to view them as their kid in a way. It takes a village after all. But whether it affects the whole story, idk, again haven't started it yet. 

thanks again for the asks, and im sorry it took so long! 

[angel-deux-writes]

Hi Angel! I've been a big fan of yours since HCM, and so I wanted to express my concern for your wellbeing. There was that big break when you took a month or so to finish HCM before posting it in quick succession, in order to not have to deal with the comments. Now, from what you've been writing in the notes to Dorne Rights, it looks like you are experiencing something similar. The selfish fan in me wants you to keep writing and keep posting, but the basic human in me is more worried that (1/2)

you are unhappy. Nothing is worth making yourself unhappy over, particularly not something that’s meant to give you pleasure. A favourite author of mine back in the days of my Spike/Angel obsession had a disclaimer on her stories telling readers to please not leave feedback of any kind, not even constructive criticism, on her fics because she finds them unhelpful. Her comment section was full of chats about various topics in that fandom, rather than her own fiction. Might help. (2/2)

Hello! I really appreciate this message, because you’re right: fanfic writing isn’t good for me.

(lol putting this beneath the cut because it’s way too long)

It’s actually my experience in this fandom that has made me realize that writing in general probably isn’t good for me, but unfortunately I feel a drive to it and can’t seem to stop myself from thinking I’ll one day get published, so that’s a bit of a downer. The truth is that I’m naturally disposed toward thinking that I’m shit, my words are shit, and every thought I’ve ever had is unoriginal and poorly written. It’s always been like that, from the time I wrote my first attempt at fiction at 7 years old to now at 31. It takes a lot for me to share my writing with people. I started writing fic at 14, basically as soon as I discovered that I wasn’t the only person composing stories about Han and Leia in their free time. I’m sure that my fics were horrendous. I give myself a hard time now, but 14 year old me probably deserved it even more. But there were sweet people on the internet who encouraged me (and lied to me) and told me that my stories were good, and that made a huge difference. 

(that and my freshman year english teacher, who was very very cute and earnest and young and made me feel like I could actually be a writer.)

I’ve never been a part of a fandom before. Discourse and meta and long discussions about canon events have never interested me. I’ve said that before, and it remains true! I consume what canon there is, and sometimes I like it, and sometimes I hate it. Sometimes I’m so dissatisfied with it that I need to write something, and so I do. I don’t think I’ve ever written fic for something that I found entirely satisfactory. The extension of my being part of an actual fandom in the past was probably reblogging a few gifsets and recommending it to friends. I’ve just never had that sort of communal experience. This, the J/B fandom, was my first time really getting into it. It’s the first time I’ve ever made friends online that weren’t just frequent commenters on long multichapter fics! It has been exciting and I’m grateful for it! It’s just also probably not good for me. 

It’s just, like, every time I post something, I’m fighting a very loud and very desperate voice in my head that’s saying “you’re shit and you shouldn’t bother”. It’s why I’m so good at writing first drafts of novels but so, so bad at getting past the second. It’s why I usually post fics only until I’ve worked out my frustrations: one or two fics per fandom and then ghosting away forever. It’s very hard to defy that voice and post something anyway, and this fandom experience has taught me that no matter HOW many stories I post, I’m ALWAYS going to have to fight that voice. And it’s gotten actively stronger. “You’re not what this fandom wants” “You’re not good at this” “Everyone’s just being nice” “You’ve overstayed your welcome”. Paying attention, often by accident, to the discourse and the metas only makes it worse, because my brain automatically turns to “well YOU don’t write them like that. That means you’re wrong”. I can tell myself as many times as I want that I myself like many different interpretations of J/B! My brain goes “yeah, but you’re just an idiot who doesn’t know any better. There’s a right way, and you’re not doing it”. 

THIS IS ALL SO DRAMATIC! But it’s just the truth! Every time I post something, it’s against my nature. NO ONE outside of fandom reads my writing! I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve allowed my close friends and family to read things. So while it may seem like, idk, like I should just be able to get over it, negative comments, or even SLIGHTLY critical comments, really hit me hard. For all the positive feedback I get (and I really AM super grateful for it, and it means the world to me), those few critical voices seem louder because they’re agreeing with what I have already known about myself. And so it feels almost like a victory, but a shitty one. “Ha! I was right this whole time! I AM a shit writer, and I’ve for some reason tricked those other people into thinking I’m good!” 

For a long time (much longer than I’ve ever written for any other fandom, obviously), I was able to shove it to the side. The J/B fandom HAS been super good to me, and they HAVE been wonderful about giving me feedback and making me feel welcome and included. But those negative voices are just SO LOUD to me, even though I know logically that they shouldn’t be. 

It would be easy to point to a specific problem and say that my issues will be fixed if only I can address that. I do it CONSTANTLY. Maybe if I stopped tagging other relationships. Maybe if I stopped tagging other characters. Maybe if I tagged my works super specifically. Maybe if I made author’s notes about how I’m a shit writer and people shouldn’t expect things from me. Maybe if I just wrote “THIS STORY IS WRITTEN ALREADY AND IM JUST EDITING AS I GO! PLEASE DONT SUGGEST THINGS!” I just feel like, increasingly, I want fewer and fewer eyes on my fics. It’s the opposite of the problem I thought I would have. But my confidence took a huge hit with HCM, and then I was finally feeling good enough to post Dorne Rights. It was probably a mistake! 

idk, maybe it’s just all the shit that’s going on in the world + in my personal life. Maybe it’s just time. Maybe I’m just running out of inspiration. But the positive voices aren’t loud enough to drown out my own negative self-voice this time, and so I’ve been trying to figure out how to handle it. Part of me wants to delete Dorne Rights with the intention of reworking it and maybe posting it again down the line with fewer tags and a lot more reminders that people can write their own stories if they don’t like mine. Part of me wants to just do a HCM and post it all at once so that I can leave the finished product up (even if I now think the entire thing is garbage). Part of me wants to stop writing fic entirely, at least until the next time I watch something with an ending so bad it fucks me up. I think my solution will probably be a massive step back from fandom for a little while. I’ve been feeling a drive to work on my original stuff, and I should probably lean into that. I would like to still write and post J/B, once I find the inspiration, but I’m tired of feeling like this is a job. I think I got so deeply sunk into this attitude of “I NEED to write and post constantly because these people want me to, and they actually like what I write!!” that I stopped writing things because I wanted to write them and started writing them because I wanted to write things for other people, to make other people happy, and so that they could tell me that I’m not a shit writer at all.

I should make it clear that I do intend to write my JB fic swap thing FOR SURE. I will drag that story out of myself no matter what. But in general it’s probably just healthier for me to not spend so much time On Here especially, and on fic in general.

[shaekingshitup]

Stay Grounded (Grindin Pt 2)

A/N: Writing this was a battle but I learned some things so it’s cool. Definitely don’t plan on anymore stories with these two. I don’t think I like Reader Inserts rn. But hey, he came back! If I told you I’d tag you and I didn’t I’m sorry. Idk a good method of actually keeping a taglist yet. D: This has been chillin in my drafts. Hopefully, you like it. Honestly, just thanks for reading! 💕

Word Count: 3.8k-ish but I swear it feels like 500 plot wise

Part 1

“Thanks Paul. I’ll see you next week,” you said as you placed one of your favorite regular’s drink on the counter.

“Bye Y/N” he called out on his way towards the exit. You checked in with your staff to make sure that they were doing okay. You weren’t an overbearing owner. You trained employees whom were competent and that you trusted to carry on your business when you weren’t there. But, you did your best to make yourself available to stop in when you knew your crew would be busiest. Plus, Grindin was your baby. You could never stay away for too long.

GRINDIN chimed out as another patron came in. You looked up to greet whomever it was with a smile.

“Michaela! Hey girl. Long time no see.” you greeted

“I know. I was honeymooning with my baaa-by,” she sang moving her goddess braids so that they were behind her back and making sure her diamond ring was on full display.

“YAS! Girl, I am so happy for you and Jon. I hope you two had a wonderful time. I see you over there Mrs. Kirk. Are you getting your usual today?” you asked.

“Girl, you don’t know the HALF of it. My boss paid for da baby and me to go on an all expenses trip to Bahamas,” you widened your eyes at this. You can’t even remember your last real vacation.  “Originally we were just going to spend a weekend away in San Diego. But, he surprised us with a week long paid vacation to the one place Jon and I truly wanted to visit. I can’t quit smiling.” she sighed with one of the brightest smiles you’d ever seen on someone. You couldn’t help but smile back. “But anywho, I’m not here for the usual actually. My boss just got back to the country from some away business as well and I guess his time away switched up his tastebuds. He’s going to take a large Brew Thang and I’ll stick with my usual small, hot Bad n Brewjie with whipped cream.”

“Absolutely girl. Comin’ right up,” Michaela handed over the business card to pay and afterwards you transitioned over to the bar to start on the drinks.It was clear that Michaela had more to say. You could see it in her body language that she was holding on to something that she needed to spill.

“Somethin’ on your mind sis? Gone ahead and spit it out.” you assured her.

“What’re you doing tonight?” she asked out of the blue.

“I’ve got a lil date tonight. Why do you ask?”

“Wait. Sis, you got a nigga?” Michaela whispered quite loudly as she raised her left eyebrow. That got you a few glances from some people working at the countertop. You were certain that the one with headphones in had heard her loud ass too. She could be really nosey sometimes but you still appreciated her presence and her business whenever she stopped in.

“Hahaha. Not at the moment.  It’s a date with myself because I deserve to eat well and be treated right -even if I’m the only one treating. Why? What’s happening tonight?” you asked trying not to reveal too much of your intrigue. Sure you had plans but if the offer was right, you could bend em.

“ Okay. So, my boss actually asked me to invite you to dinner tonight at The Liftoff because-“

“The Liftoff? Wait, who the hell is your boss? fucking President Barack Obama?” you damn near yelped as you stared at her with your eyebrows reaching the ceiling. In order to get into The Liftoff you had to have money. Not just a lil cheddar. But BIG BANK! More than that you had to have clout.  If you didn’t have someone invite you, you were never getting in. Many people hadn’t even heard of it- you happened to have a few wealthy and loyal customers stop in every now and then and had overheard them discussing it once.

“His name is Erik. I’m not sure if you remember him but I guess he was in here a few weeks ago,”

2 weeks and 3 days ago sis. But hey, who’s counting? You thought.

“That was when I was out for my wedding. I guess it was a good thing too.”

Aloud, you feigned delayed recognition “Oh yeaahhh. Yeah, I remember him stopping in”

“He was planning on picking you up tonight at six to go to dinner and finish up where y’all left off..” she trailed and left the floor for you. She was not so subtly implying that you two had started something and she was all ears.

“Well, sis. You can let Mr. Erik know that I’m unavailable for the evening. And if he wants to see me, Imma need him to come in here and ask me himself,” you said placing both drinks on the countertop.

“You playing hard to get sis?” she countered.

“I’m not playing anything. I have standards and I know my worth through and through. If he can’t come ask me face to face himself, then the answer will forever be no.”  

Michaela was shocked by your response but managed to get out “I’ll be certain to relay the message.” As she made her exit, she turned back to you. “I respect you sis. A lot of females see a nigga like him and are ready to hop over the counter at one of his slick ass lines. You’re bout to give him a run for his money- and he got plenty!” she cackled.  With that she left and left you alone with your thoughts.

————————

When you made it back to your place, it was time for a shower. The smell of coffee was one of your personal tell-tales signs of how long you’d spent at your shop to make sure everything was in order. Right now, the scent was permeating around you. It had been stated on more than one occasion that you were a workaholic. You simply cared about your baby and wanted to make sure that you gave the best back to the city that raised you. So, it was always hard to establish boundaries for when you had to tend to yourself rather than Grindin. But today was your day.

The second you opened the door, you started shedding your clothes as if they were contaminated. You loved walking around your condo bare ass naked- without a care in the world as to who did or did not see you in all your glory. You adjusted your A/C to a crisp 68 degrees and headed to your bathroom to start your water. Grabbing your phone, you put on a fun playlist to dance to a little. Kiana Ledé’s “Bouncin” started playing out of your waterproof speaker and you hopped in to wash the morning away and bounce a little yourself. The rest of the day was going to be a self-care day. You had it all planned out. First, shower. Next, nap. Then, you planned on putting on a little makeup, serving looks with your latest fit, doing some shopping and then you’d take yourself to dinner. You made sure to do this at least once a month with yourself. Sometimes people would see you dressed to impressed and they’d take pity on you for being alone. But that wasn’t how you saw it at all and you let them know it. Whenever anyone gave you sad eyes or took it upon themselves to join you on your night out, you let them know that this was your intended personal time and that you weren’t crumbled or broken by not having someone to sit across from you.

Obviously, there were times you really wished that someone would take it upon themselves to treat you so you didn’t have to do it yourself. But, on these nights you made sure to be appreciative of who you were whether there was an admirer to acknowledge this or not. Your mind drifted over these things as you hopped out the shower and moisturized your body from head to toe.

Shower ✅

You re-entered your room and buried yourself beneath your covers. The silk sheets had been calling out your name since you’d step foot inside and you were done denying them their request. It was time for that nap. 💤💤😴

——————————————

FRESH OUT THE BOX

STOP, LOCK AND WATCH

READY YET, GET SET

IT’S AALL THAT!

called out from your bedside dresser as you stretched out your limbs and tried to reach out for the phone.

OHHHHHH, OH, OHHHHHHHHHHHHH

THIS IS ALL THAT!

THIS IS ALLL THAT!

“Fuck it,” you said as you hopped out the bed and began your performance. You grabbed your phone and used it as your mic as your bedroom became your stage.

Check it, check it, check it

Now this is just an introduction

Before I blow your mind

The show is All of That and yes we do it all the time

So sit your booty on the floor or in a chair

Ground or in the air

Just don’t go no-where!

You gave it all you had for the full 1 minute and 6 seconds only ceasing when the alarm tune was starting over from the top. Dancing was one of your favorite ways to wake up. It made you feel more alive and ready to conquer the rest of your day.

Nap ✅

You meander over to the kitchen to grab a banana and some cranberry juice before tossing on an oversized t-shirt and sitting in front of your vanity. Next on your list was makeup. You synched your phone’s bluetooth to your mirror and played your Self Love playlist to sing along to. You planned on applying a light beat and wanted to make sure you did so without getting any makeup on your body.  Makeup was not your forté by any means but you loved to play a little and were able to copy all the simple tutorials. Today that mean browns all around. You dabbed on some foundation and two brown eye shadows, one that was subtle and another with more shimmer to compliment your natural glow. A little black eyeliner, mascara and nude lip gloss to bring it all together.

Makeup ✅

The fit for the evening was on point if you did say so yourself. A little casual but alluring nevertheless. 

Jade green bottoms which accentuated your curves with a cream colored long sleeve shirt that had a very deep v cut. You were really playin into your sexy side for the evening and it made you feel bold and dangerous.

You went with rose gold accessories to compliment your brown skin and eyes. Your watch and lock necklace were simple but altogether the look had you feelin like you were an 11/10 and that was the goal. You always wanted to remember that you were desired-even if only by yourself. You removed your phone from the charger, responding to a quick text from Lu about your plans for the evening and when you’d be available, disconnected your music from the bluetooth mirror and headed to your front door to put on your heels.

Serve these fuckin looks ✅

———

You were on your fourth store and your Gummy Bear smoothie was all but gone. Thus far nothing was really speaking to you. You’d purchased some accessories and  saw a lot of cute clothing items but nothing that was significant enough to bring home. Your shopping rule was : “If you don’t love it in the store, you won’t love it at home,”. You exited the boutique and made your way to the escalator ascending to the second level where you parked your car. You reached for your phone as it vibrated in your back pocket. Glancing at the screen you saw that it was Ray who was reaching out.

“Hey Ray J!” you laughed at the nickname he despised. His one wish was that you would stop calling him that.

“Y/N where are you?” he sounded concerned. He hadn’t even yelled at you for using the nickname that he couldn’t stand.

“I’m leaving the mall. What’s wrong?”

“Jaime had a family emergency and can’t close tonight. Eve is there but she’s still new you know. He had to leave and no one else is available to come in for him and close,” he said.

“Really? No Sherell, Chris or Rico?”

“No. None of them can make it. I would go in but I’m in Frisco right now. I know it’s your date night and I hate to do this. But, do you think you can close up?”

“Yeah.” you sighed, “Yeah, I can make it. It’s almost quitting time anyways. Plus I’m hella closer than you are. But just know you owe me! If you took your ass across the bridge on a whim, the dick better be good! ”

“Trust me boo it will be and I got you next time!”

“Yeah, whatever.” You hung up and wondered why the hell Ray decided to go to San Francisco on a whim when he was scheduled to be back up in case anything went awry for the evening. That was the whole purpose of the schedule that the two of you created. This was a perfect example of something unexpected occurring and yet he was M.I.A. You pondered these thoughts as you headed to your car and headed back towards your shop. You made sure to call and cancel your dinner reservation because that definitely wasn’t happening anymore.

Thank God I always keep a change of clothes at work you thought, cringing about how awkward it would be to slang coffee with your titties on full display considering you’d forgone a bra for the evening.

When you pulled up it was 6:30. The shop closed at 8 tonight so you had half an hour before you began pre-close. You walked in and scurried to the back to change into a merch sweater which read “Stay Grounded and some black leggings.

Eve was holding it down as best as she could. But it was evident that she was stressed.

“Hey, I’ll take the bar. You go ahead and ring em up, okay?” you offered.

She sighed and released a lot of the tension in her shoulders. “Okay.”

There were already 4 drinks waiting to be made. So, you got to work.

“Sorry your first night shift has been a bit of a whirlwind,” you told her once it had slowed down a bit. It was 6:58 and you didn’t anticipate there being too much of a let up. “Do you have your pre-close list with you?”

“Yeah. I was going to do the final bathroom check.”

“Great! Go ahead and get started. I’ll do most of the behind the counter stuff tonight. You focus on the customer areas. I may call you if orders get crazy,”

“Sounds like a plan boss!”

“Y/N!” you corrected.

Customers trickled in throughout the last hour. But when 7:45 came around and they saw that you were already cleaning up shop, most of them started to pack up their things and go. By 7:56 you were ecstatic. Everyone was gone. You just had to lock the door and then you could count money and tips, do a final sweep and mop and head out the shop. At least that was the plan, until you heard GRINDIN chime throughout the store at 7:58 P.M. You rolled your eyes. Unfortunately, this was no new occurrence to you. Customers were notorious for getting their final fix in the last few minutes before you closed up. Most of the time it didn’t bother you. But tonight, you were hungry and jaded that your plans for the evening had changed.

“Welcome! I just want to let you know that we will be closing in just a couple minutes here,” you called out without looking up as you wiped down the counter, “Let me know if you have any questions.”

“Yeah I got one.” the timber of his voice compelled you to stop and give him your full attention. You looked up to see Erik, dressed in a slightly less formal ensemble than when you’d first met. 

He adorned a pair of dark trousers, a white button up shirt with polka dots and suede loafers. But, he still looked so..

“Delicious?” he asked.

Hol’ up. First he’s Barack and now he reads minds too?

“I’m sorry” you say trying and failing to hide your flustered nature. “What was that?”

He smirked. “It’s okay baby girl. I’m sure you got a lot to take in with your day and all,” he stated as he took a few steps forward which didn’t help to alleviate your confused state at all. “I said since you took the time to introduce me to something new. I haven’t been able to get you off my mind. How about tonight it’s my turn to show you something delicious?”

Your reaction came as if you were on auto-pilot.

“I would love to but I’m barely closing up shop. By the time I count the drawer and we find a restaurant and actually place an order it’ll be pretty late. You shouldn’t hold off on dinner on account of me,” you said.

Erik kissed his teeth. “Yo workaholic ass don’t know how to say ‘no’ to anyone who wanna show you a good time, do you?” It must have been a rhetorical question because he went on, “Gone ahead and finish up closing your shop. When you done, meet me in the back.”

“Hold on. I

“Aht- aht- aht. This is no longer an option. This is the game plan. Close up, freshen up into some non-coffee gear and meet me out back. I’ll be there.” he said sternly and with that, he left.

Eve came out from the back of the shop with a broom in hand. You stood there frozen for a moment.

Did this negro just boss me around? In my own damn shop?? You thought.

Yes. Yes. He did sis. And you liked it so shut up and close up!

You locked the front door to bar anyone else from coming in and started counting the drawer. By the time you were done, Eve had swept, mopped the front and turned on the fans to help the floor dry quickly.

“Great job tonight Eve! I’m sure in the future it won’t be as.. disruptive. Either way, you killed it.”

“Thanks Y/N did you need me to stay or-?”

“Uh-uh. Go ahead sis!”. The second you locked the door behind her. You dashed to the restroom to freshen up and put on your clothes from earlier in the day. You rolled on some perfume and reapplied your gloss before you hit all the lights, locked the door, set the alarm and circled around the back of the shop.

When you got there, you came to a full stop and your jaw dropped. It was gorgeous. The back lot of the shop was decorated in lights throughout the trees. In the center there was a table for two, a whole ass waiter and was that music? You glanced around to find that tucked away in the corner there was indeed a harpist playing beautiful melodies.

“Damn girl and I thought I was going to surprise you with my view,” Erik said as you turned around to face him. He was holding a single purple daisy- which just happened to be your favorite flower. He placed it in your hands and pulled out your chair for you to have a seat.

“How? How did you do all of this and how did you know this was my favorite flower?” you asked with an expression of bewilderment taking over your features.

“I promise I’ll explain alldat baby girl. But first, I need to say I’m sorry”. This surprised you. You’d spent less than an hour in this man’s presence but he already didn’t strike you as the apologetic type.You placed your flower on the table and gave a nod of your head for him to go on. “When I met you a few weeks back. I meant to ask yo fine ass out right then and there. Unfortunately, that call that I got was urgent and it needed me to leave the country immediately,”. He finished.

“Oh my. Is everything alright?” you asked

“It is now. I handled it as I always do,” he stated with a conceited grin, “That’s why I came back to ask you out. I don’t leave anything unfinished.”

“Last time I checked this wasn’t an option. You didn’t ask nothin” He chuckled at that. The waiter came over at that moment to introduce himself, present the menu and fill up your water. He didn’t need to explain anything because there weren’t options on it. It was simply an itinerary for what your palette could expect. Appetizer, Entree, Dessert. They were all your favorites with a subtle twist. You were impresed. The menu was elegantly done and it looked fly as hell. You might have to keep a copy to give to Lu for inspiration.

“Well, actually I did,” Erik began when Duke, the waiter made his exit, “I was in earlier to ask yo stubborn ass-”

“You got one more time to talk about my ass before this becomes a solo event,” you interjected.

“Aight, bet. We can take a pause on that ass for now,” he smirked, “I was in earlier to ask you to dinner face to face, but yo people told me that you were unavailable for the evening. So, we made a few changes to make you available.”

“You what?”

“I paid ya mans Jaime a few bills to take the night off. Ray and Lulu was already on board,” you glanced down at the menu of our favorite foods again, “yup. That was them. They told me what you like. I just got the chef and made sure that Michaela hired the right people to make this vision come together. We all agree that it’s time for you to take a break, ma”

“Wait a minute. You bribed my staff? Plus, Lulu and Ray were in cahoots with you on this?! You barely even know me.”

“And? I’m tryna know you”

“I’m just sayin that’s a hole lotta trouble for a virtual stranger.”

“But you not a stranger. You the one that left me satisfied. Now just enjoy the rest of the evening and let me do the same for you,” he said as he picked up your hand and caressed it all the while never breaking eye contact with you.

“Okay.” you got out meekly. You cleared your throat and tried again. “Okay, Imma let you finish what you started,” you said

He smiled one of the most genuine and naturally alluring smiles you’d ever seen.

“ I can already tell you ain’t used to letting others take control. But don’t worry ma. I got this and I got you,” you were all the way blushing at this point, “Tell me about your day. Was it as brewtiful as you are?”

You laughed out loud as Duke placed your appetizers in front of you. “You corny.”

“And you like it,” You could already tell that he was going to do good on his word. You were leaving satisfied tonight one way or another.

Tag List: @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @shewrites02 @shewritestheblues @ghostfacekill-monger @sarcastic-sunshines @fd-writes @eyeknowmywrites @twistedcharismaaa @thadelightfulone @raysunshine78

[itsthejuggernautbitch]

Idk if ur taking requests. But if you are imma need more info from "safehouse" where Colossus was electrocuted and gave the reader head,please.

Requests are open! :D

Taglist: @marvel-is-perfection  @emma-frxst  @this-that-and-every-thing-else  @ptite-shit  @lesbianyondu  @chromecutie  @ra-ra-rasputiin  @hazilyimagine  @lenavonschweetz  @nu-tt  @rovvboat

______

You'd been dodging the X-Men for two weeks before they’d closed in, essentially forcing you to hand yourself over to them. You'd always tried to keep your powers secret, but the older you got, the more unpredictable (and powerful) they were. And over the past two weeks, your powers had become outright unmanageable. 

“I don’t need your help, and if you come near me again, I swear I’ll electrocute you,” you snapped, crossing your arms. Your skin had been sparking with current the entire day, and the more annoyed you got, the more frequent the sparks.

Colossus crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow. He wasn’t used to any of their targets giving him such a hard time, usually due to the size discrepancy, though you seemed to be unaffected by it. “What makes you think you can?”

You huffed, sending a shower of sparks flying. “Well, for the past few weeks, I haven’t really been able to control it and you’re getting on my nerves - i.e., don’t come near me because I literally cannot help it.”

Colossus edged closer, as slowly as he could without really setting you off. Electrical attacks didn’t affect him so much, but he still didn’t want to test yours out to see if they might. “If you’ll take a deep breath and calm down, then we can show you how to control it when you’re angry.”

“How are you going to do that? We have completely different powers.”

“It is just a simple breathing technique to help you focus,” Colossus replied. The uneasy standoff was slowly devolving. “We have another member with electrical abilities who can show you how to control it.”

“Fine, show me what it is, then. I don’t want to be here, but I’m tired of shocking everyone,” you snapped.

Colossus stepped ever closer, just outside of your personal bubble but close enough to have a couple of sparks land on his metallic skin. “Watch me. Breathe in four counts and out four counts. And keep doing it until you stop sparking.”

You sighed, but followed his orders. All of the electricity was tiring you out anyway. Or maybe it was the constant anger and annoyance from constantly electrocuting everyone. Either way, you just wanted all this to stop (and to go home instead of Xavier’s mansion, but that really wasn’t up for debate anymore). In four counts, out four counts. Again. Again. Until...

“This isn’t terrible,” you said, breathing in so deeply that your shoulders shook. The sparks wouldn’t stop, but they hadn’t for weeks anyway. At least you’d calmed down a little.

“It helps,” Colossus agreed. “And we will keep helping you until you can control your powers.”

“I had it until control until the last few weeks,” you replied. There was a couch in the room, which you stretched out on without being invited to. You assumed that since you had semi-willingly yielded, you at least had license to sit on the couch. “I don’t know what happened.”

“Your powers will continue to grow uncontrolled without training, particularly if you only use them when you are angry. But you are here now, and once we have been picked up by the recon team, we will help.”

“So how long until we’re picked up?” you asked.

Colossus scratched the back of his head, grinning sheepishly. “Uh, a week. The jet has been temporarily repurposed for another mission, and we did not expect you to yield willingly.”

“So we’re stuck here in this bunker until your buddies come to get us?” you asked.

“Yes.”

“Well, I hope there’s food.”

----

There was, indeed, food. You woke up the next morning to the smell of coffee and bacon frying after sleeping on the couch all night. Colossus had tried to shake you awake and offer you the bed in the backroom, but you’d refused to move (and shocked him every time he tried to prod you awake). However, the scent of coffee could do what no man could: rouse you willingly out of bed at 7AM.

You stumbled into the little kitchenette, dragging your feet and shuffling like a zombie. You planted your ass in the seat, blinking blearily up at Colossus as he cheerfully tried to force-feed you toast.

“So can you show me some of these techniques?” you asked, chewing thoughtfully on your toast. Colossus had loaded it up with butter and jam, so it wasn’t terrible. “Because I’ve shocked so many people that I’m getting on my own nerves now.”

“I know some of the techniques that Storm uses, but not all of them,” Colossus replied. He’d made himself a plate of eggs and bacon and was now delicately cutting up his bacon into squares. “I will teach you what I know.”

“Well, let’s get started as soon as possible,” you replied as another spark popped off of your skin and landed squarely in your scrambled eggs.

“After breakfast, you start training.”

----

“I told you good workout would help.”

In the five days, almost a week, since you’d turned yourself over to the X-Men, you still hadn’t figured out how to keep from sparking off everywhere and electrocuting everyone around you (namely Colossus who you found out could, in fact, be electrocuted). The breathing techniques helped you sleep and sort of calm the static slowly enveloping you, but nothing really forced it to stop completely.

Until now.

You laid sprawled out on the ground, sweating and exhausted. You were dirty, gross, covered in mud and bruises, but you weren’t sending off sparks every time you moved. Colossus stared down at you rather smugly. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say he was enjoying watching you struggle.

You huffed (no sparks!). “Fine. You were right. I am disgusting and tired, but the static is gone.”

Colossus reached down to help you up; he grasped your hand and pulled you to your feet. “Storm thinks you may have had some static buildup that needed to be discharged, particularly since your powers are growing untrained.”

“Well, it’s certainly been discharged now,” you replied, attempting to dust off your clothes (and failing spectacularly because there’s mud everywhere). “I think I knocked out the power in the safehouse.”

“You did, but it is easily fixable,” Colossus replied, shrugging. “I will get the power restored, you go clean up.”

“Or...”

Colossus looked at you, eyebrow raised. “Or?”

“It’s interesting that over the past few weeks, I’ve really only been able to feel angry. But now.. I can actually relax and enjoy myself.”

Colossus nodded in agreement. “That is good. And you will feel even better once I make dinner, I expect.”

“Yeah, that will help,” you agreed, looking him over. You had yet to see him in his human form, but frankly, you liked his defense form, too. And now since you were clear-headed and not shocking everything in sight, you could really appreciate him. “Or you could come shower with me if you want? We’re supposed to be picked up tomorrow, so we need a way to pass the time now that I’m not sparking everywhere...”

“That’s very sweet and... um... flattering - but...” Colossus flustered, immediately embarrassed. You suspected that if he wasn’t in his silvery defense form, he’d be bright red. He looked down at his feet - anywhere but at you. “You... you really want to?”

“I just outright propositioned you and you’re asking me if I really want to get naked with you?” you replied, grinning. You took his hand and led him back into the dark safehouse. “You are precious. Go fix the power and come find me.”

You could hear him clanging around, searching in the dark for the power grid. You fumbled around until you found the bathroom door (three doors down the hall on the left - it took you forever to remember what room was where) and stepped inside. The lights sprang back on, and you could hear Colossus rambling down the hall trying, and failing, not to move too quickly for fear of seeming overeager.

You pulled your muddy clothes off, kicking them into a corner of the bathroom, and started the shower so that it would get hot. You’d left the door open for Colossus, who crept in like he was afraid of scaring you off. He closed the door behind him so that you wouldn’t catch a draft.

You were left in your sports bra and underwear, which were soaked through but, at the very least, not muddy. You turned around so that your back faced Colossus. “A little help, Piotr?”

“Uh - alright,” he replied, fingers fidgeting with the clasp on your sports bra. His fingers were cold against your skin as he fumbled to get a good hold, but once he did, he unclasped the snaps and let it fall to the floor. “There.”

“Underwear too, please,” you replied, kicking the bra off into the corner. It would take forever to get those clothes clean, but that wasn’t even close to the first thought in your mind at that moment.

Colossus slid your underwear down over your hips and let them drop to the floor, fingers lingering just a half-second too long on your skin. You turned to face him, giving him the full view of your entire body. He tried to look at your face, though you could tell that his muscles were tensed and tight.

“You can look down, darlin’,” you said, holding out your arms. Even muddy, you figured you looked pretty good. “Now, lets get you out of that uniform and into the shower because I’m getting cold.”

You stripped him down piece by piece until he was completely naked. The ribbing on his arms and neck extending down over the rest of his body, from his chest to his legs, right to the tip of his cock. He wasn’t quite as dirty as you, owing to the fact that his defense form was made of metal, but you pulled him into the shower anyway.

You grabbed a bottle of shampoo and handed it to him. “Alright - hair first, then you get to do the fun part. I’d skip straight to the fun part if I couldn’t feel the sand on my scalp.”

Colossus chuckled, poured out a measure of shampoo into his hand, and set to work scrubbing your hair. His fingers were gentle but thorough, nails scratching lightly at your skin. The sensation sent a tingle down your body, making your nipples prickle and your hair stand on end. He tipped your head back under the spray to rinse, making sure to keep the water out of your eyes.

“You can keep doing that, if you want,” you said, eyes closed.

“I will do anything that you ask,” Colossus replied quietly, almost too quietly to be heard over the spray. His voice amplified the tingle racing down your body until your muscles felt tight. He poured a measure of conditioner into his hands and worked it through your hair, scratching your scalp again until he tipped your head back to rinse. “Now, what next?”

“Now, let’s get you cleaned up and then you can get to work on me,” you replied with a wink. Geeze, you’d love to see him in his human form - you want to know just how red his face can really get.

You grabbed a sponge and the soap, working it up into a lather. Colossus was so much taller than you that you had to make him stoop down, but you sneaked a kiss when you pulled him down to your level. He seemed surprised, although why he would be surprised by a kiss when he was literally naked in the shower with you was beyond your guess. You scrubbed everywhere you could reach - his chest, his back, before carefully passing over his cock. You stroked him once, twice, for fun, making him arch into your touch. He groaned, leaning his head back against the shower wall.

“Not yet,” you said, pushing the sponge and soap into his hands. “My turn.”

Colossus nodded, a little dazed, and set to work on you. He passed over your chest, your stomach, your legs, taking special care to make sure that every bit of grime was sufficiently cleared away. 

Once you’d rinsed off, Colossus slid his hands down your chest, stopping to pull and pinch at your nipples, before working his way down your stomach. You could feel him pressed against your back, his cock hard and heavy against your spine. His hands slipped down further still until he stopped at your clit to tease you. His fingers slid down the line of your clit, into your folds, teasing and pinching at the sensitive skin.  His mouth ran along your neck, leaving kisses against your skin as he fingered you. You leaned back against his chest, spreading your legs as far apart as you could. 

You grabbed his wrist to stop him when you got too close to release. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he picked you up. You held onto his shoulders as he pressed you against the cold shower wall, squirming against him until the wall behind you warmed up.

“Are you ready?” Colossus asked, his chest pressed to yours. You nodded. “Tell me if you’re uncomfortable.”

“I’m a little chilly, but that won’t last long,” you replied, smirking.

Colossus reached down between your legs, took the base of his cock in hand, and pressed the tip to your entrance. He tried to be gentle, but it was a bit of a tight fit. You pressed your face into his shoulder, moaning against his skin as he bottomed out inside of you. You arched against him, grinding your hips against his until trapped your hips against the wall.

“Easy, easy,” Colossus said, adjusting his grip on your waist. He had one arm underneath your ass and one on the small of your back (thank goodness for superstrength). “Take it slow.”

“I’m okay, I’m okay...”

“I know,” Colossus said, his voice straining from the control. “I want you to stay okay. So I am going to go slow.”

“Fine, fine,” you replied, cunt aching. “Just - please just move.”

Colossus obliged, wiggling his hips until you all but bit into his shoulder, sliding his cock out and sliding back in maddeningly slow. He picked up speed, thrusting as quickly with as little force as he could, just steady strokes one right after another. He hooked a hand under one of your thighs, hiking it farther up his waist until he could hit that one spot that made you moan and call his name. He thrust again and again, grinding his hips against yours, his cock hitting that one spot until you clenched down around him and release snaked through your body.

He groaned in your ear how close he was, just to hold out for another second, as you rode out your release on his cock. He came with a start, grinding down on you harder than he really meant to, but you met his hips with every thrust until he finished.

Colossus gently set you back on your feet, holding you up until he was sure that you could stand properly on your own. You clung to him, cold and damp and completely satisfied.

“Here, let’s get you dried off,” Colossus said, toweling you down. He seemed a little bemused, almost a little smug. “And then I will get dinner started.”

“Fuck dinner,” you replied, huffing. “Order a pizza. We’ve got to break that couch in.”

Colossus laughed. “I will get us something healthier than pizza, but as you wish.”

[akaspiderman]

all too well

parinig: draco malfoy x reader

word count: 1.2k

warnings: idk man it’s kinda sad

plot: After Draco leaves without reasoning during their sixth year, (y/n) has to deal with the effects of their broken relationship // based on the song all too well by taylor swift

A/N: here’s a random draco fic i found in my drafts. this will probably be my last harry potter fic for a while. // part of the red collection + goes well with i almost do

She breathes in the fresh air, she had to get away. When (y/n) walked into the Great Hall, she saw him. Draco. It’s been months since he broke it off without reason, but it still felt like a fresh wound that refused to heal. She was doing better but seeing Pansy all over him ripped it open. His friends were all laughing, but he wasn’t. He was picking at his plate while Pansy used him for support, her hands roaming him. He must’ve felt (y/n)’s gaze, because he turned around to see her.

She couldn’t handle it. Which was undeniably stupid, they were over. But it was an act of betrayal to her. So she fled. she ran off into the freezing winter weather, she just needed to clear her head. Seeing Draco sent her down her usual spiral, where her heart aches for something she can’t have. She tries so hard to pretend she way okay, but she wasn’t fine at all.

She was chilly, after all it was dead of winter. Her hand reaches up to touch her neck, she never got her scarf back. She lent it to Draco when they went to Hogsmede last year. Draco tried to act all big and tough, saying he wouldn’t get cold. Later on, he was freezing, but he would only accept the scarf, no coat or anything. So her beloved scarf was gone, never to be seen again, but she didn’t mind. She saw it peeking out of his trunk once. Draco didn’t even bother to give it back after the breakup.

Her mind wanders off, thinking about what they had. She thinks about before she gave the scarf away, that during the train ride to Hogwarts their fifth year. How he unraveled the scarf off of her. He insisted that it was too hot for a scarf and that she was crazy for using it already. She remembers how they were laughing so hard that day. Draco kept on making remarks about how his parents kept dragging him around and how it was dreadful. He made fun of everyone he met during their meetings. She thinks about her leaning on Draco for support, and how he fell asleep on her. That day was so crisp in her memeory, how perfect it seemed.

She thinks about the train ride to Draco’s house, how she went during holiday break one year. Maybe she wasn’t exactly welcomed by Lucius, but Narcissa seemed to adore her. She showed (y/n) portraits of Draco when he was younger. His face lit up in embarrassment as he tried to hide them, but it was adorable. He kept talking about the backstories to all of them too. Narcissa kept talking about how she loved that Draco was on the quidditch team and how well the season was. She talked and talked about Draco, but not in bragging way. She was beaming with pride, and she kept insisting to be called Narcissa.

Later that night, (y/n) ran into Draco downstairs. She was trying to get a drink, and Draco decided to at the same time. He said that Narcissa loved her and how he makes her so happy. How he wants to live here with (y/n) after graduation. (y/n) laughed saying that she wouldn’t know what to do with all of the rooms in the manor. Draco shrugged and embraced her from the back while she walked towards the stairs. He twirled her around, kissing her, before they made the trek up the stairs.

It was amazing that these memories were so clear. It was so odd to think that they talked about the future so easily, like they already knew they would end up together. That’s what made (y/n) hurt, that she had something so beautiful, it had to be rare.

She didn’t know where they went wrong. Maybe she should have visited him over the summer, but their schedules never lined up. Whenever she was free, Draco was at some meetings with his parents. Maybe she should have been more protective of him whenever Pansy made a flirtatious joke. She should’ve tried more to keep their relationship on the right track.

Or maybe it wasn’t her fault. There seemed no logical reason on her end why it would end so suddenly. It could all be Draco, they were so happy and the he goes to end it. They fell in love so quickly and fast, they worked so well together. Sparks flew when they were together. Then he ends it, he ends this masterpiece of a relationship.

(y/n) can’t seem to find why he would do it. He always told her that she was the best thing that ever happened to him. How she kept him from going crazy when his home life was going haywire. (y/n) dosen’t understand why he would throw it all away, so quickly if she meant that much to him. He meant that much, maybe even more to her. He could have been lying the whole entire.

She doubts that idea, it felt too real to be fake. All the memories she has with him, they seemed so happy. She couldn’t make herself believe they were fake, they can’t be fake. It would be stabbing a knife through her heart. She was the happiest with him, that she knows. She refues to believe in the slight suggestion of it being faux.

She keeps walking, trying to calm herself down. She knows that this is how it always starts, how she ends up crying for days, her heart hurting like when they first broke up. It always starts with here reminiscing in the past.

“(y/n), are you alright?” It comes from behind her, the voice belonging to Neville.

God, she had no idea why Draco never liked him. Neville was always so pure, he couldn’t hurt a soul. Her friendship with him suffered when she started to get closer with Draco, but she always kept in touch. Always defended him when Draco jokes about him. It was kind of sad how (y/n) misses that rude part of Draco. She had to truly love him to miss the bad parts.

It must be written on her face that she wasn’t alright, because Neville sighs, “You have to stop thinking about him. It’s been months.”

“I’m trying,” it comes out barely above a whisper.

“You can’t mope about it forever.”

He was right. She can’t get all hurt when she sees him, she can’t keep reminiscing in her old memories. She had to get back to who she was without him. Time won’t fly though, her mind is still frozen on what they had.

“Hey,” Neville softens his voice, “you’re getting through it though. You’re doing better.”

He was right again. At first, every time she saw Draco she would spiral down. Her heart just aches the littlest bit when she sees him now. She tries to talk to him at times, even casually. She did have a few breakdowns where he walks away, but now she’s gotten better at talking to him normally. Like they never had anything. It was always small talk, and he was always the one who walked away.

“I know, it was just different seeing Pansy all over him,” (y/n) replies.

“Go back to the Great Hall, they have you’re favorite type of cookie for dessert.”

(y/n) takes a deep breath. She can do this, she can walk in there and pretend that she’s doing good. She is doing good, she’s doing better than him. He’s the one who can’t even talk about the weather with her.

As she walks in, she sees him again. Pansy wasn’t over him, he was sitting straight up. He caught her eye, and she offers a smile. In return, Draco does the weakest smile that he could ever muster up and turns back to his food.

She wishes she didn’t remember everything all too well, it would be so easy to let him go. Though she keeps trying to convince herself that it’s a lost cause, she still has the littlest hope. Her vivid recollection of every moment didn’t help extinguish her hope. But everything will work out, she knows it.