#in my defense we were twelve and I was super hormonal

[manhattan-gamestop]

Okay y’all the WORST financial decision I’ve ever made was when I was 12, and sometimes I still kick myself over it.

When I was in sixth grade, I dated this one guy in my class for basically the entire year, and I was CONVINCED I was in love with him (and like, ya know, that’s kinda yikes). So when his birthday rolled around at the end of the school year, I was trying to think of a good present to give to him, so I could show him how much he meant to me, and considering I had the resources of a 12 year-old (no car, no money, etc.), my options were pretty limited. I knew that he was really into Pokemon, so I thought that getting him a bunch of Pokémon cards would be a sweet gesture. My mom and I rummaged through our garage and found a giant binder’s worth of Pokémon cards collected by my siblings and me. It was classy shit; about three school subjects thick, it was organized by type, evolution, and we had some of the older vintage cards that hadn’t been translated to English yet. And, with the permission of my brother and sister, I gave the binder to him, and I got to look like the best girlfriend that day.

BUT the thing is, with how much time has passed and how Pokémon has been going through a lot of nostalgia crazes, the amount of cards we had and the rarity of some of those Pokémon means that the cards I gave him are probably worth THOUSANDS of dollars now. And it’s now in possession of a guy who I’ve only talked to a few times in past six years. Really, last time I saw him was at our high school graduation where we played catch-up. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a nice guy and he means well, but holy shit was I not qualified to make that decision at the time.

So lesson of the day y’all: you should REALLY think about it before giving up your family collections to your s/o, especially if it’s Pokémon.

(also two years after we broke up I figured out that I’m a lesbian so. there’s that)

[tommyparkerr]

Promises BONUS II | Peter Parker x Reader

I’m back with a second bonus y’all! Some of you have been asking for it, so here it is! I want to thank @laureharrier for being both my hype woman and the one keeping me sane when Tumblr decides to throw all kinds of sh*t at me like the little sh*t it is.

Anyways, sorry about that (I still have some residual anger leftover from my *situation*, so...yeah)! There’ll only be one more bonus left after this (at least, from what I have planned), but thank you to all of you who are sticking with me after all this time! This is for you!:)

Words: 2.7k

Warnings: Tears (but happy ones), Peter being a little sh*t, Irondad, fluff, and basically everything soft that doesn’t constitute a warning

-Masterlist-

P R O M I S E S  -  B O N U S  T W O :

Tony wasn’t sure what’d woken him at first. His heart wasn’t racing and he wasn’t sweating, so it wasn’t from a nightmare; his mind was strangely quiet along with the rest of the Tower, so it wasn’t because of the noise; Pepper was sleeping peacefully next to him, a soft smile on her face, so it wasn’t because of his wife’s missing presence.

He didn’t know why he’d woken up. But he did know that he wasn’t going back to sleep anytime soon.

As quiet as possible, Tony carefully rolled out of bed and exited the bedroom, headed toward the kitchen where he could make himself some coffee at—he glanced at the clock—two-thirty in the morning. However, his plans changed when he went to pass through what was supposed to be an empty living room. 

The faint sound of a turning page caused him to stop in his tracks, looking toward the noise. 

A figure sat curled up on the couch (well, as curled up as she could be with a pregnant belly), glasses on her face and hair in a half-hearted bun as she intently read whatever book was in her hands. Tony’s chest went warm at the sight of his daughter-in-law wearing his son’s baggy MIT sweatshirt and old gym shorts.

After a couple moments’ of debating whether he should tiptoe back to his room and leave her be, he decided there was never a better time than 2:30am to get some bonding time in with his adopted daughter.

God, Rhodey was right—he had gone soft.

“You do realize it’s 2:30 in the morning, right?” he asked, keeping his voice low enough not to disturb the others on the floor but loud enough for Y/N to hear. She startled, whipping her head around and straightening up to peek over the back of the couch. She looked relieved to see it was him (versus Peter, he was guessing, who was more than overprotective of his wife and child-to-be at this point in the pregnancy) and relaxed immediately, pushing her glasses back up the bridge of her nose.

“I do.”

“Then why are you still up?” he said with a raised eyebrow. “Isn’t being nine months pregnant supposed to make you tired all the time or something?”

Y/N smirked. “I’m pretty sure the same applies to being old, Grandpa Pops.”

Tony raised his hands in surrender, chuckling as he went on his original route to the kitchen. “Touché, Ms. Parker.”

Other than a small laugh from her, the soft sounds of Tony getting the tea kettle out, and the turning of pages, the room went quiet again. Though his daughter was hiding the dark circles under her eyes far too expertly for him to be comfortable with, Tony was used to the technique of using humor to cover up whatever he was facing—whether that be sleep deprivation, a constant state of anxiety, or visions of being thrown into his worst nightmares over and over again, he knew the tactic well, and he wasn’t about to let someone else get away with it.

He wondered if maybe this was why he’d woken up.

When the tea was finished (no coffee since Tony knew Y/N couldn’t have much caffeine), he traipsed over to the couch and offered one of the steaming mugs to the obviously exhausted woman across from him. She laid her book down and took it with a grateful smile, muttering a small, “Thank you,” and taking a sip. They drank in silence for awhile, looking out the window at the nightscape of New York City. Tony saw it every night, but rarely did he take the time to appreciate it; now, with nothing else to do, he could. As he turned to look at the girl beside him, looking unusually small in Peter’s clothes (where he remembered the MIT sweatshirt had once been his, but Peter had stolen it years ago before he went to school and had now seemingly made its way down to the next person), he couldn’t help but open his mouth.

“Sometimes I forget that you married into this family,” Tony said softly, seeing her confused look out of the corner of his eye. “You have so much Parker in you that it’s like you’ve been here all along. I can barely remember the days you and Peter weren’t glued to the other’s hip.”

A mischievous smile adorned her lips. “Are you sure that isn’t because of old age, too?” Tony finally looked at her with a knowing look, his eyebrows raised as he took another sip of his tea. The smile didn’t drop, but rather morphed into something softer as she looked back toward the city. “May told me that, too. But you’re leaving out one important thing.”

“Oh?” Tony said with a amused glint in his eye, fully expecting another round of sarcasm to break through. “And what is that, may I ask?”

“That by marrying Peter, I’m not just a Parker; I’m a Stark, too. I think both of the Parkers made that pretty clear to me from day one,” she said, her tone soft and loving. “You did, too, though it was never verbal.”

Tony’s smile had dropped, a sudden burning in his eyes replacing it. He swallowed past the lump in his throat and said, a crack in his voice, “Come here, kiddo.”

Y/N turned to see his arm raised and smiled before scooting closer and ducking underneath it, resting her head on his shoulder. “If I spill any of my scalding hot tea on your cashmere robe, it’s your fault.”

Tony snorted, his tears crawling back into their holding places. “I wouldn’t dream it any other way.”

This time it was quiet until they had both finished their tea, setting the empty mugs on the empty table in front of them. He’d clean that up later, but for now he was perfectly content. He let the silence go on a little longer before he squeezed Y/N’s arm and spoke up again.

“I’m guessing Peter has no idea you haven’t been sleeping?”

She pursed her lips. “How do you know I haven’t been sleeping?”

“I think the raccoon look speaks for itself, kiddo,” Tony said, pointing under his own eyes for reference. “That is if I didn’t already know what sleep deprivation looked like.”

A small sigh. “No. No, he doesn’t. And you’re not going to tell him, either.”

“Woah now, tiger,” Tony said defensively. “No one said I was going to.” She looked down at her now empty hands, picking at her nails in order to keep them busy. Tony frowned and nudged her arm again. “Honey, what’s wrong?”

Suddenly her eyes filled with tears and her hands flew up to try to keep them from overflowing. “I’m sorry—God, I’m such a mess. I’m sorry.” Tony, who once would have been freaked out by even the slight glistening of one’s eye, didn’t bat a lash at the influx of tears. Only worry rose from it. 

“Honey-”

“I’m okay,” she interrupted. At his look of disbelief she shook her head with a wobbly smile. “Really, I am. I just—I’m super emotional right now and my hormones are dialed up to, like, eleven, or twelve, maybe possibly thirteen and a half. Any little thing can set me off already, but being sleep deprived probably doesn’t help. And you’ve never called me ‘honey’ before, just ‘kiddo’ or ‘Ms. Parker’ or other little nicknames—not that I mind, of course, because I really do feel like I’m just as important to this family as anyone else when you give me nicknames—and I guess it just kinda struck the sentimental part of me. I’m sorry.”

Tony couldn’t help but chuckle, adjusting them so he could get both arms around her. When he thought about it, he couldn’t remember any other time he’d called Y/N ‘honey’, which seemed crazy to him since he’d referred to her as that particular endearment many times in his own head. “No need to apologize, kiddo. I’ve seen hormones in action and know of way less that’s made a girl cry. In fact, I’d say you’re keeping everything contained pretty well; you haven’t even screamed at me once when I manage to burn the omelets every morning.”

A watery laugh escaped her, muffled by his chest. “I do in my head.”

It was Tony’s turn to laugh now, holding her a little tighter as he placed a kiss on her head. “And for that, I applaud you. Pepper’s not even pregnant and she yells at me—not in her head, may I add—every day.” A giggle, then just periodic sniffles. Tony gave her a little bit of time before pushing again. “Now, do you wanna tell me why you aren’t sleeping at night?”

It was quiet for a long while—long enough that Tony thought she either hadn’t heard him or had chosen to ignore the question—before she answered. “I don’t know. I just...I lay down and I’m so completely exhausted that it should be easy, and Peter falls asleep easy enough and I’m just stuck inside my own head thinking about the next month and how we could become parents at any minute, and even though we already have a name picked out for her and we talk to her every night, it’s going to be so much different when she’s actually born, right? And then-”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Tony interrupted, pulling back to look at Y/N with a sparkle in his eye. She frowned, her eyes widening a moment later as she realized her mistake. “She?”

“Um…” She swallowed, her cheeks turning a slight shade of pink. “Yes?”

A wide grin spread across Tony’s lips, struggling to contain the burst of happiness at the news. “I thought you said you were going to wait until the baby was born to find out the gender,” he said, his entire face lit up. It made Y/N smile, and suddenly she didn’t feel so guilty that she’d let that piece of information slip.

“We were,” she answered. “But then we decided we didn’t want to wait and didn’t tell anyone else in order to keep it a surprise for them.”

“So it’s a girl?” he asked, and Y/N laughed at his giddy excitement. 

“Yes,” she said with a smile. “You’re going to have a granddaughter.”

Tony pulled her in for another hug. Then, as the rest of her confession rolled back through his brain, he realized that wasn’t the only important information she’d let slip. “Can I tell you something, kiddo?” A soft hum was the only confirmation he needed to continue. “I know you’re nervous about this whole parenting thing, and God, I don’t think there’ll ever be a day where parenting isn’t nerve wracking, but as long as you love that little girl with all your heart and show that love to her every day, I think you’re going to be just fine.” 

Y/N looked up at him, her lips wobbling. “I’m afraid I’m going to be a bad mom.”

“You won’t be,” Tony said without hesitation.

“But how do you know?”

A soft smile graced Tony’s lips. “Because what I said about loving her with all your heart and showing that every day? You’re already doing that, which kind of makes you the best mom in the whole world, and that little girl is so lucky to have you.”

Now Y/N broke down, quickly shoving her face back into Tony’s shoulder to stifle her cries and (hopefully) keep from waking anyone else. Tony closed his eyes and gently rocked her, rubbing her back in small circles. 

“Thank you,” she later said, tears still clogging up her voice. “For everything. For taking me in and loving me like you would your own and making me tea at two in the morning and letting us all move in so you can help out with the baby and keep an eye on me while Peter can’t and for walking me down the aisle because my dad and mom couldn’t be there to do that or to see their grandchild be born and—I just...thank you,” she finished breathlessly. 

Tony lovingly placed another kiss on her head. “What else are dads for?”

“You know,” Y/N laughed, sniffling as she did, “if you didn’t know this baby was a girl, I’d say you were buttering me up to name her after you.”

“Who says I’m not?” Tony joked. “I think Anthony Parker has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”

Taking Tony by surprise, Y/N pulled out of his hold and grabbed his hand, moving it to rest on her stomach. Tony blinked in awe as he felt his granddaughter kick, mesmerized by the life just inches away from him. 

“How does Mary-Jane Virginia Parker sound?” Y/N quietly asked, watching her father-in-law carefully to gauge his reaction. He didn’t speak for a few moments, tears gathering in his eyes at all of his granddaughter’s namesakes—Peter’s mother, one of the couple’s best and lifelong friends, and Pepper—Pepper-

This time, he didn’t even try to fight it when a tear slipped down his cheek. “It sounds perfect.”

“I never thought I’d see the day my wife made the almighty Tony Stark cry,” came a voice from the hallway. They both startled, whipping their heads around to see Peter casually leaning against the wall, arms crossed and hair mussed from sleep, wearing a small, amused smile. “Though, if anyone were to do it, I suppose she would be the one to.”

Instead of responding, Tony simply rolled his eyes and scooted over, patting the newfound space between him and Y/N. “Get over here, you twit.”

Peter chuckled but made his way over anyway, plopping on the cushions and putting a protective arm around his wife. Y/N leaned into him, looking sheepish at being caught but not all too apologetic. 

“So much for that secret, huh?” Peter said teasingly, kissing her forehead to assure her he wasn’t really mad. 

“If it makes you feel any better,” Tony said, his eyes still lit up in joy, “I’m an excellent secret keeper.”

Peter scoffed. “Yeah, to everyone but May and Pepper.”

Tony faked outrage. “Hey now! That’s no way to talk to your old man!” Peter gave him a look that said, ‘Am I wrong?�� while Y/N giggled, and Tony huffed. “I only tell them my secrets when they know I’m keeping one.”

“Oh, and that’s the only time you ever let a secret spill, huh?” 

“Listen here, smartass-“ Cutting himself off, Tony grabbed Peter away from Y/N and wrestled him into a headlock. Peter simultaneously was laughing and trying to push him away as Tony gave him a noogie, messing up his hair even more.  

Once Peter finally shoved him away, all three of them were laughing and it was the greatest sound Tony had ever heard, especially after the recent hardship his son and daughter-in-law had gone through. He and several others were worried when it didn’t resolve within the first few days and even more so when they heard that the word ‘divorce’ was thrown around once—once, and only once, but that was enough. And he had hoped it wouldn’t come to that, because he knew he’d stand by Peter’s side no matter what, but leaving the girl he’d practically adopted as his own behind would take its own toll on him. 

Sometimes Tony still worried. With every little fight and every raised voice, his anxiety rose. But seeing Peter and Y/N now, the former kissing Y/N’s cheek with a smile while the latter continued to giggle, Tony knew everything would be okay. 

With no warning the man swept both of them into a hug, kissing the tops of their heads. “I love you, kiddos,” he said quietly.

“I love you, too,” they both replied, Peter wrapping his arms around his father figure. Y/N followed close behind, though she couldn’t squeeze him as tight due to her protruding belly. 

“Mary-Jane loves you, too, Grandpa Pops,” Y/N said quietly, making all three pairs of eyes in the room water. And for once, Tony was actually looking forward to what life handed him next, because Mary-Jane Virginia Parker was loved, and she was perfect.

---

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[chamrosh]

Okaaay

So. I promise this’ll end up somewhere a heck ton different to where it’ll initially look but yes I just need a long vent okay and honestly this whole first section is probably useful to loads of people so it’s not going to be abridged by me (though if anyone wants to add a tl;dr if this somehow get’s reblogged, go ahead).  There’s probably gonna be more of these covering... different things, some of which will be related.

Anywho.

When I was in year 5, I had my first period. I lost 1/8 of my bodyweight in a week and the blood kept coming for another week after that. I was maybe 10, but probably 9. I had already grown intensely uncomfortable with the idea of being expected to be a woman when I grew up. I think I was born with a clock inside me, because exactly a month later, I had my second period. I lost 1/10 of my bodyweight, not having regained the weight from the previous month enough to support that. I tipped into being dangerously underweight at that point and didn’t have another period for a couple of months. 

I complained to my mother about how it was too painful and how much blood I had lost and how much blood there was everywhere and OH MY GOODNESS why did it have to hurt so much, what were those great big clumps - And... and her fucking response was to tell me “it’ll hurt less once you get pregnant”. Ah yes. The solution to a 10 year old being in pain. Encouraging them to give your grandchildren already. A++ parenting. And whenever I asked, I’d always be told some variant of “it’ll hurt less the more children you have.”

That summer, my brother had been spending a month in Germany with my mother’s penpal from school, to help pick up enough to be able to do well in GCSEs. All fair and good there. Except that the youngest child of the family he was staying with, let’s call him Mike, had been to Ecuador to help with anti-poverty work for a month before that. Mike had been sick while there, but he had recovered after a day, and it was a week before he came back to Germany. My brother woke up a few days after arriving and started violently vomiting. My mother’s penpal is a pharmacist, so she rushed to her practice and grabbed as many things that would help and not cause complications together as possible, from her own pocket, and started giving him the doses of each. My brother started having violent diarrhoea too, and this had blood in it. 

He was taken to hospital, and spent the rest of the month abroad there instead. Every day he lost 6L of fluid in excess just from the mixture of blood and diarrhoea, before the additional sweating he was going through. The hospital diagnosed him with a bleeding disorder, which isn’t haemophilia, but I shall call “haemophilia” for reasons of what it actually is being pretty rare and haemophilia being really similar and far more common, and honestly haemophiliacs need more recognition than peeps with my condition do based purely on numbers and i’m happy for any recognition of bleeding disorders because of me to go there (especially as most of the time my bleeding disorder is covered under the same hospital departments...). He was sent home after this and we had to keep him essentially quarantined for another 2 months. The hospital told my parents to get me and my other brother checked up for “haemophilia” as soon as possible. We did not receive that check up then, but instead nearly two years later. We were advised to get hepatitis injections too, after it was seen what hepatitis C could do to us, and to get those as soon after we were diagnosed as possible... and I’m pretty sure I still haven’t had my Hep shots. 

Note that my monster periods starting happened after I was recommended to be checked out for bleeding issues and yet I was still just told “it’ll be fine if you have a ton of kids” by my mother. And may I point out that the idea of anyone putting anything up there in me makes me physically feel ill, and my imagination kind of glitches and physically won’t let me imagine any version of myself being pregnant or giving birth or anything like that and oh goodness did I try to force myself to manage it when I didn’t realise that even just not having kids was a valid option for people...

The hospital (which does have a proper name, but, again, rare disorder, I’m not naming it) eventually had to nag my mother to take me and my other brother up there for checks.

I remember when I started secondary school, and there was an assembly where “all” the boys and all the “girls” had to be split off for basically crap sex ed classes, and the teacher who did the “girls” one basically said that “oh your first one doesn’t hurt” and “on your first one this teeny tiny pad will do” and just, trust me, on my first period I’d have bled through the starter pads that were given out within about 5 minutes if I were lucky. Both a comment on menorrhagia and on the tininess of these pads. In a moment of disgust I took the first opportunity to get them out of my sight (by burying them at the bottom of my PE kit) and utterly forgot about them being given out for about 5 years. 

I hated being in that room so much on so many levels. First, because it was a girls’ assembly, second, because the teacher kept handing out things for girls, which I just flat out refused to believe would be useful to me (because I’m a stubborn lil git when I want to be, but also because most of them would genuinely have been), and third, because she flat out lied. At least, from my view. I thought that losing 1/8 of your body weight on your first period was normal. Bear in mind as well that the puberty related info I had from my periods was entirely contained by giving me a book on puberty and walking out the room. I flicked through it once, realised I’d grow breasts, started crying, and threw it in a corner. I had no further interaction with that book (beyond actually closing it) for about 3 years.

When in class, one of my friends said that their teacher in a different subject had said that during periods you only lose about 3 teaspoons of blood, I refused to believe that a period that light was even possible. 

And... all the girls seemed to be able to keep doing everything through the whole month. They didn’t seem to have to curl up into balls and spend their break times curled up down the back end of the school just praying the pain would pass. 

When I finally got to the hospital, a year and a half after I was meant to, they did the blood test, I was super proud of how strong and manly I’d been that I didn’t faint at losing a ton of blood to the needle and my brother did, and this is yet another mini-installment in signs of gender dysphoria that small me didn’t register right here. And they said they’d call up about stuff after too - but before we left, the doctor said I should go on the contraceptive pill. It should probably horrify you to know that I knew what rape was when I was five, but I didn’t know what contraceptives were until I was twelve. But either way, I heard my mother refuse, and I wondered what it was, so I asked, and she explained that it gave you female hormones to make you not have children and that it was very bad because then you might not ever have children. I disagreed. It was very bad because it was female hormones. But even so, I was glad at the time that she’d said no.

Every single appointment - that is, twice a year - I got a call. Every single time I was asked if I wanted to go on the pill. I said no. I came up with lame excuses every time but I knew deep down it was always because I didn’t want to have any female hormones. My periods awfulness would vary. Initially it was always losing huge chunks of my weight, but more and more it’s manifested as me not being able to swallow anything at all bitter, and throwing up anything i’ve eaten if I try, and in having to pass enormous clumps through down there. 

They started out smaller, like the size of the top joint of my thumb. It’s a sign of significant medical issues once you have a lump larger than a nickle / about a pound coin. I jumped from teeny tiny lumps to lumps about twice a diagnosable size. I had not been taught that lumps that size were not normal, and so I didn’t think it was anything significant when I was asked about it... plus, I knew they’d only suggest putting me on the Pill again... 

My periods have always been pretty regular, as long as they’re not disrupted by intense stress (although I learned I could sleep less and make the periods less frequent, and that has to have been one of the worst decisions in terms of my grades I’ve ever made...), such that through the whole of biology in year 11 the worst stage of clumping would always be within the same half hour span on a Tuesday morning, during double biology. I used to deliberately hyperventilate, because when I was on the edge of fainting, I couldn’t feel it anymore. I couldn’t feel that disgusting lump making me acutely aware of an organ I do not want and did not ask for. I love biology. I hated having to miss periods of it for - hah - periods, every single month, but it was better than the alternative. 

When I was 15, I started getting intense shooting pains through both sides, about the length of my hand below my ribs. When I went to the GP, I was questioned  for what felt like hours, - with my mother STILL IN THE ROOM - if I had had sex with any boys, and whether I was pregnant. It made me feel genuinely ill to have the suggestion that I could ever be pregnant. And! Me! Having sex with someone putting their penis in me? No!

Turns out, once that questioning had stopped, I had ovarian cysts. On both sides. I’m almost guaranteed to be infertile - and I was told such at the time - because both of my ovaries had had it, and I’d had it on and off, and it had worsened over ovulation... and they were causing me enough pain that when they flaired up, I’d tense up, my back would curl defensively whether I wanted it or not, and I couldn’t get myself to move or talk. Those are not healthy ovaries. Honestly, it came as a relief to hear. I love the idea of having children, I really do, but to hear I wouldn’t be giving birth! Fucking great feeling, my dudes.

I hated going in the bathroom so much... I’d refuse to go. There were concert days, at least one each term where I’d have to leave the house at 8am and only get home at 10pm and I wouldn’t have gone to the loo in all that time because I hated the loo that much. It was relatively common to have to leave the house at 8am and get back at 6pm, or anything up to 8pm, and to have not gone to the loo in all that time. Anything more than about 4 hours gap regularly is bad for your health. The only time I would go to the loo in school was to get changed for PE on my own if I couldn’t deal with being with the girls (which happened a lot) or to deal with period matter. 

During one lesson in year 9, double history, I felt the pad stick to the chair, and I didn’t dare budge an inch from where I was for the entire hour and a half. I procrastinated until I was the very last person sitting down from class still, and when I stood up, the pad ripped, and within a few seconds, the whole of the insides of both my legs were covered in blood. I knew I had to go to the loo to clear it up and replace the pad, but I still didn’t want to.

I started having clumps comparable to the size of the whole of the palm of my hand.

When I finally spoke about this to the doctor (and came up with yet more dumb excuses for why I didn’t want to be on the pill), they finally got me booked for an ultrasound. The forms stating what the procedure is say, by default, that you have to have instruments stuffed up your there so that they can see what’s going on internally, and I started presumably visibly panicking, judging by the fact that they immediately started discussing alternatives. You can have an external one through the front if you’ve not used a tampon or had vaginal sex, so if you’ve not done either of those, and you have period issues (especially to the same extent as me!), and the thought of anything up there also makes you panic, it’s probably best to continue to avoid them.

When I went up to the hospital, first i was super uncomfy because you have to drink a litre of water an hour before the ultrasound is done, and I knew that I’d have to go to the toilet there... but second, because the nurse doing it needs to have a lot of skin exposed. I get why. I also get why they picked a small, non-threatening looking woman to do it, but that also didn’t really help the discomfort. Nor did having to go into gynecology...

Anyway, normal period lining thickness is around 14mm thick at peak (obviously there’s a variation around that that’s perfectly healthy that’s a few mm wide). Mine was 34mm thick halfway through to ovulation. Which would explain how I basically manage to have a baby bump every month... And again, the nurse said I wouldn’t be getting pregnant. Embryos are not going to fare great in terms of getting enough nutrients there.

I liked the idea that my body was trying to provide for some stupidly manly baby. Only stupidly manly babies who could obliterate a uterus from the inside were welcome. Yep. It’s best not to question how I think sometimes but honestly I think I’ve made it sound as close to rational as I can there. 

I had a panic attack over the phone call a year ago. I so wanted to say why I really didn’t want to go on the pill! And I was so scared that it was the only way to end the size of the clumping.

In July I managed to produce a whole collection of huge clumps, one the size of my whole thumb, one that was the length from my middle finger tip to the butt of my palm, and several others, all of which were very safely in menorrhagia territory... In September I managed to produce a clump the size of my fist...

I knew I didn’t want to have to deal with that any longer. But I’d also finally accepted I wanted nothing to do with me being feminine, and I knew what I had to say. And I started out the phonecall, literally last week, saying what I’d need to say as a numbered list and everything, setting it out. It still took me about 5 minutes from saying I had a third point and being prompted to say it that I finally got out my reasoning. I was asked what the issue was. I said again that it was female hormones and I didn’t want them. And again. And again. And again. And again. And then finally they got it. 

I finally had an alternative suggested (which I still need to go and get sorted out because oh boy am I disorganised). And they said that the appointment was already longer than it technically should be, and that they really needed a good section of time to talk about how my gender interacted with my “haemophilia” and so they said they’d book my an appointment, not say what the appointment was about on the letter, but that that appointment would be about gender, and would be in my Easter holidays. 

I think I practically died of excitement at having something gender-affirming to do officially that’d maybe be a first step in transitioning.

And then I checked my email this morning.

The letter has arrived at my parents’ house. My mother opened it. And she scanned it and sent it to me.

Her thoughts weren’t to scribble out her address and put mine and mail it along like a sensible human being with a basic comprehension of what boundaries are. NOPE, not my mother, not the woman who’d recommend that a 10 year old become pregnant. Of course not. No, she had to go and open confidential medical letters. And she didn’t even have any shame about that! Just straight up emailing me about having done so, and showing me proof that she had done so!

I’m so bloody relieved that the hospital were truthful about that, and that it wasn’t specific at all and just listed the hospital department I have to go to for it (which actually is the haemophilia department). That would have been a fricking awful way to be outed. Can you imagine that? Parents who told a 12 year old that if he turned out to be a lesbian, they’d kick him out the house. As a 12 year old. Who said to not even talk to trans people, let alone make friends with them. Who nearly broke off contact with their kids’ godparents’ son because he came out as pansexual. Who rant about how “society’s gone too far” and that “you can’t just choose” and that TERFs are completely and utterly right about everything for a full week after a single comment is made. Honestly I don’t think I’ve ever more concisely said why it’s taken me so long to actually admit that yep, I’m trans, and also to try coming out to any family members. Can you imagine? Finding out from having precisely 0% of a concept of privacy? My mother was horrified enough when my brother mentioned he was getting his tubes cut and that he and his wife are planning to adopt kids instead. Can you imagine her reaction? 

I really really need to be able to safely permanently move out, if only so that my mother doesn’t think it’s okay to look through my medical letters. 

Also yes that whole first bit was there because I never feel like I’ve vented enough about it ever and it’s fucking awful and it needs a lot of venting. ... but also to give a scope of the medical neglect from my parents and the level of reproductive control in their house, and to give some context to the stupid lengths they’ll go to to avoid having to deal that some people would really rather not have anything to do with what would make them fertile. 

Hopefully now all that is vented I’ll actually be able to focus on what I’m meant to be doing. Which is working out where I’m gonna go for my year abroad. Which, incidentally, I’m going to be Out for, whether my parents approve or not. Also hopefully me actually posting this gives some people a reassurance that yes it’s fine to hate your periods, they suck, and honestly I feel bad for everyone on their periods no matter how much lighter they are than mine, and even if they aren’t a dysphoria inducing nightmare. All periods suck.

[anavoliselenu]

freedom chapter 8

My foot bounced up and down irritably on the cold tile floor of the waiting room. I had been here ten minutes and was already about to make a dash for the exit. I hated hospitals. There were germs everywhere and sick people just never went away. This wasn't a good place for me to be. To top it all off, Selena was late.

This was our first doctor's appointment, and the news still hadn't really sunken in yet. I didn't want to let my mind drift into the fears I was having. I needed to talk to my therapist first before I started to freak out. That was a different appointment for a different day, though. I had to focus on Selena right now.

Where the hell is she?

Since yesterday, when I was blindsided by the fact that I was now going to be a father, I had suddenly became a new man; a man I couldn't really explain. I had always felt protective of Selena, but I was now obsessively trying to keep her from harm, especially with her past pregnancy. Everything around became a target for danger. This morning, I carried her down the stairs so she wouldn't trip. I didn't even want her to go to work anymore. I had to ward off all danger.

There was so much that could go wrong, and even though I wasn't really ecstatic about this news, Selena was. If she wanted a baby, then that's what she was going to get.

I checked my watch again and saw the hands ticking. Thankfully, my phone rang, pulling me away from boredom.

"Bieber," I answered.

"Justin, this is Jane. You have a conference call from Japan. They want to talk about your offer. I have them on hold."

"Shit. I'm at Selena's doctor's appointment."

"Oh," She squealed, "Is it a boy? Is it a girl? Can you see it? What does it look like? What did the doctor say? Is everything alright? Oh, God. Is she sick? Do you need me to come down there?"

"Jane! Please, let's stay focused. We haven't gone in yet. I'm in the process of buying the largest weapons manufacturing company on the planet and you're going on about baby stuff."

"Sorry. I got carried away. So, they're on hold. Shall I reschedule?"

"Yes. And cancel everything for the rest of the day."

"Will do, Justin. Oh, and the man with the Jackson Pollack wanted to know if you were still interested in buying."

"What's his price?"

"Just over two million."

"What do you think?"

"It's invaluable even if it is overpriced."

"Would Selena like it?"

"I'm sure she would. It's a beautiful painting."

"Alright. Buy it and have it placed in storage."

"No problem. Tell me everything later."

"Goodbye, Jane." I hung up.

Times were changing for me. Of course, I was thrown a wrench when Selena announced she was pregnant, but I didn't plan on stopping my life altogether. I was scaling down on my business, so that I could focus on "family work". I couldn't do it all and Bieber Inc. was going to have to be run by someone else.

Of course, I owned the majority of the shares, so I wasn't going anywhere. I just couldn't be at the office like I had been doing. I was neglecting my real work. Carlisle could take over whenever he came back and handle the business aspect of the company since he didn't have anything better to do. I still hadn't really told anyone yet, though. Not even Selena.

I was backing out of Bieber Inc., but I still hand other obligations. In short, I needed to make the Cullens the best crime family in the world. That included scare tactics so no one else would dare mess with us. What would happen if someone saw my name attached to a global weapons manufacture? I'll tell you what would happen. They would run. That was my ultimate goal.

To have the world's most advance firepower at my disposal was an amazing feat. I still didn't even know if it could be done legally, but I assumed this would be just as any other business transaction. Someone always has a price for their goods.

To the government or anyone else watching, I would be in control of defense manufacturing. Nothing super big such as missiles or anything like that, but I'm sure the CIA would love to know what I was up to. Now, instead of me going to buy guns, I could have them made and in large quantities. I could fund wars if I wanted. I don't think I would go that far, but it was an option. I still hadn't put the plans in motion yet, but it was going to happen. I still had a few things to work out. Forget miniscule real estate and car importing. Guns were all the money was at. I would be one the most powerful men in the world.

I wasn't supreme, unfortunately. I had constant reminders of how inadequate I was when compared to my peers. They all had their drug rings and slave trafficking systems. People in my circles had Illegal diamonds, dealt with political heists, accumulated ancient family wealth that could fund small countries. To be honest, the Cullens weren't doing so well with anything like that. We had guns, but no one was buying anymore. I planned on changing that. Everyone needed weapons and if I played my cards right, they could get them from me or go without.

"Is this your first time?" a very pregnant woman asked from next to me, making me realize that I was in the real world. She was reading a magazine and looked fairly uncomfortable with her rounded belly. I decided that she wasn't weird, and I could bless her with conversation.

"Yes, I'm waiting for my wife."

"That's so sweet." She pouted. "This is my fifth. By now, my husband and I just expect a baby about every year."

"Fifth? That's…a lot of kids."

"You have no idea." She pulled a candy bar out of her purse and started eating it. "But I love children so it's what I want. How many months along is your wife?"

"I'm not quite sure," I admitted. "This is our first appointment."

"You don't sound too excited."

"I don't know how I should feel."

"Most first-time fathers are like that. You'll change as the months go on. Do you have names picked out?"

I shook my head.

"This little one is going to be named Yani." She patted her stomach. "It means 'God's gift' in Hebrew."

I recalled my language skills. "Yes, but in Sanskrit, the pronunciation means 'female genitalia' and in England, it's slang for a monkey so…"

She thought for a second. "Damn. Now I have to think of another name." Her lip started to quiver. "But I really liked that name."

Large tears started to pour from her eyes almost instantly. I had no idea what was going on or what I should do. It was the weirdest thing I had ever seen. This woman was eating her chocolate candy bar while crying at the same time—and it wasn't just droplets of water. She was full blown, funeral sobbing as if her husband had just been buried. Not only that, but after a couple seconds, she started to wail.

"Um, you have to stop that." I awkwardly patted her knee when people start to stare.

"Now what am I supposed to name my son?" She sniffled.

"I…don't know. That's not my responsibility."

"What's your name?"

"Justin," I answered.

"I like that." She started to dab her eyes with a tissue. "I think I'll name him Justin."

"I would prefer you wouldn't."

"Why?"

"Because…that's my name."

"I know and I like it. You ruined my chances at having a good name so I'm taking yours." Just like that, she turned into some she-devil and was about to bite my head off.

What the hell is wrong with pregnant women?

"Justin!" Selena came running down the hall and out of breath. "Sorry I'm late. I overslept."

I popped out of my chair. "No, it's okay. I was worried."

Selena kissed me, and then looked at the woman still sitting. "What did you do to her?"

"Why do you automatically assume I did something?"

"Because you make people cry. That's your thing."

"He told me that my son's name sucked and then he wouldn't let me use his."

"I did not," I argued. "I was just informing her of what might go wrong if she insisted on sticking with the name. I didn't say it sucked."

Thankfully, we were saved by a nurse. "Isabella Bieber. We're ready for you now."

I almost threw Selena over my shoulder and carried her; anything to get away from the psycho lady.

"It was nice meeting you." She waved, still eating her candy bar.

"That woman was crazy," I whispered to Selena.

"She was pregnant. You can't say everything that pops into your head. Hormones are a bitch."

We followed the nurse down the hall and into a room cleaned room. I breathed a sigh of relief and looked around at the sterile environment, happy that I didn't have to wipe everything down with Clorox.

"So, the doctor will be in after I do the preliminary testing and things like that." The nurse smiled. She patted the bed for Selena to sit on. I stood by the door awkwardly.

Selena seemed slightly nervous, but was trying not to show it.

"Alright, so this is your second child?" the nurse asked.

"Um, second pregnancy," Selena clarified.

"Oh," She wrote on some kind of chart. "Well, first of all I'll need to check your hormones to see if you're even pregnant. Sounds like you are, but we just have to check. Then we'll determine your due date, take some blood, go over your medical history, and then you can ask the doctor any questions you have."

Selena nodded. "Sounds good."

The nurse turned to me. "Are there any questions you have for me, Mr. Bieber?"

"Not that I can think of at the moment."

"Okay, well then, let's get started."

I had to leave the room while they did their "lady tests". I didn't think I was prepared to see what was going on in there anyway. The nurse took some blood to be sure Selena was in fact pregnant. Selena was indeed pregnant and currently two months along.

"Can we see it?" Selena asked hesitantly.

"Well, unfortunately, not right now. It's a little too early. This is just your first appointment. We'll try again when you come back at twelve weeks."

"Oh, that's okay." She nodded, slightly saddened.

Within two seconds, I sort of had an epiphany. Watching Selena lay there silently, taking deep breaths with that look on her face was all I needed to see. She had that look which told me 'I already love this baby'. I wasn't overly enthusiastic about this situation, but I wasn't going to rain on her parade. This was my child. I had created something that she was now carrying.

That blew my mind.

I let out a gust of air in realization.

"Is there anything you want to asked, Justin?" Selena said to me.

"Not right now."

She took my hand and squeezed. "Thank you for not freaking out."

"I'm not going anywhere, Selena."

We just sat there, waiting for the doctor, and I realized that maybe this wasn't the end of the world. A child could be a good thing. It obviously made Selena very happy, so all hope wasn't lost. I knew it was my job to produce heirs, but I never thought this would be happening so soon.

Then when, Justin?

I wasn't sure. It had to be sometime soon, so I supposed now was just our time.

Selena gave up so much to be with me, this was the least I could give her.

The doctor came in with an enthusiastic gait and immediately started in with a speech that I figured he gave all his newly expecting patients. It sounded very mechanic, but his smile was there to tell me, 'Everything's going to be fine. I'm a good doctor'. I would have to check him out later.

He gave Selena prenatal vitamins, put her on a healthier diet, and instructed us on what we should do in the first few months of pregnancy. I took precise mental notes because I didn't want to miss anything. He told us things like, 'This will be an interesting pregnancy' and 'I hope you're prepared for what's about to come'. That didn't make me feel any better, but I was trying not to let it show.

By the time we left the office, I was overwhelmed to the point of frustration.

"So, what do you think about all of this?" Selena asked me as we walked towards our cars, our hands intertwined.

"I'm not sure what to think yet," I answered truthfully.

"It's happening really fast."

"I know. Seven more months." I breathed deeply. "Wow."

Selena stood up to kiss me chastely. "I'll see you at home." She started to pull away.

"Wait, where the hell are you going?" I held her tightly.

"To my car. It's over there." She pointed.

I didn't like the sound of that at all. Something was telling me that this wasn't a good idea. She didn't need to be driving or walking for that matter. Anything could happen to her or the baby, and then it would be gone. I wasn't there with her for the last time, but I could only imagine the pain she must have went through. Selena still sometimes cried about losing Elizabeth, and it stabbed me like a knife every time I had to listen to her tears. I didn't think she could go through that again.

The doctor's explanation was that things just happened. I wasn't happy with that answer, but it was all we had to work with. We had to make sure she was healthy and safe; that was all we could do.

"Selena, how about I drive you and then I'll have someone come pick up your car later," I suggested.

"Oh, okay. Why?" She looked confused.

"I thought I heard something wrong with your engine the other day," I lied smoothly.

"Are you sure? It sounded fine to me."

"No. It's definitely broken. Let me drive you." I ushered her towards the other end of the parking lot and suddenly realized that my Saleen wasn't very safe. Regardless, I felt better with Selena in the car with me.

I opened the door for her and refrained from actually setting her into the seat like some precious egg. Selena wouldn't like that very much, but she had to realize that she was incredibly delicate right now.

We weren't losing this baby!

"How about we stop off at the grocery store so we can get you some of that food the doctor recommended," I said as I started the drive home.

She pulled out one of the brochures I had picked up at the doctor's office."This said I should keep eating normally and try to have a variety of healthy things. You don't have to go back to work?"

"No. I'm taking a few days off to make sure you're okay."

"Justin, you don't have to do that for me."

"Yes, I did."

"That's incredibly sweet of you."

"I can be that way sometimes," I chuckled. "So back to grocery shopping, anything specific we need to get?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Any cravings yet?"

"You know, I woke up yesterday with this strange need for peanut butter, even though I don't really like it. But I think it's too early for cravings."

"So, we need peanut butter for sure."

"I guess we do." She shrugged. "This is all so weird. How do we know what to do?"

"I think we're just supposed to learn and pay attention to changes in your body. I'm not quite sure."

"Can we call Esme?"

"No," I said adamantly.

"Why? She would know exactly what I should be doing."

"They left us here to be by themselves. It's obvious that they don't care enough to stay with their family, so why should we give them a call?"

"Are you still mad at them?"

"Yes, I am, Selena. Carlisle had no right to just bring me back here so that he could take a vacation."

She sighed, "I think you have to let your anger go on that one. He did what he thought was right."

"I still don't like it. Besides, I don't know where they are or what the number is. Only Emmett knows that information and he won't tell me."

"Well, we have to get in touch with them somehow. I'm having their grandchild. I think they would want to know that."

I swerved a little on the road at the word 'grandchild'.

Holy shit!

That baby growing in Selena's stomach was mine, meaning that it was the grandchild of Carlisle's, meaning it was the great-grandchild of Nicola. That was a big deal. A direct descendant of Nicola Bieber was a massive deal, especially since it was mine. An heir. Mob royalty was inside of Selena.

I slowed the car down to a pace of thirty miles an hour.

"Justin, what's going on? Did your car break too?" Selena asked.

"No, I'm just being precautious."

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't want anything to happen to you or the baby. We could get in an accident."

"We certainly will with you going so slow on the highway. Someone's going to run us over."

"I'm not taking any chances. I'm not going any faster than this for the rest of your pregnancy," I vowed.

It took us a full hour to make it to the grocery store. I would have normally made it in fifteen minutes. I didn't mind, though. As long as everyone was safe, I could deal with the current pace of my life.

"Don't move," I told Selena when I turned the car off in the parking lot. "I'm coming to get your door." I started to get out my seat.

"Justin, I'm not a doll. I can do things for myself." She reached for the door handle, but I locked her inside.

I went over and helped her out of the car. She scowled at me, but didn't say anything further.

"So, only healthy foods," I told her as she reached for a cart outside of the store. I wiped off the handle like I normally did with the handkerchief in my suit pocket.

"Why do you always do that?"

"The handle of a shopping cart is one of the most germ-ridden things on the face of the earth, slightly behind the telephone."

"The things you know are just astounding."

I held her close to me as we walked the aisles, looking for things that might be good for her to eat during pregnancy. I remembered the doctor saying something about a diet high in fiber and iron, along with lots of dairy. It seemed like I was the only one who actually cared, though. Selena seemed to be more focused on junk food.

"Selena, you're going to have to change your whole lifestyle now." I put back the bag of chips she had placed in the cart.

"I know that, but I can indulge a little. I like those." She reached for them.

"This is serious. Our baby has to be super strong and healthy."

"A spoonful of ice cream won't make him any less healthy."

"Him?" The sound of that brought an unconscious grin to my face.

"I think we're having a boy this time." She smiled brightly. "I feel it."

I nodded, not sure what to say.

"How about we get back to shopping." Selena took my hand, and we continued to stroll through the aisles.

By the time we were done, we had two carts. One had normal food in it for Alec and I, while the other had Selena's food. Half of her cart had peanut butter in it. Her eyes went wide when she saw just how many different varieties were in the store. She had to have them all; chunky, smooth, whipped. It all went in the cart.

I barely had enough room to fit all the bags into my Slaeen, but we stuffed them in there. I was on my way home at a reasonable speed a couple minutes later.

By the time we pulled up in the driveway, it was past lunch, and I figured Selena would be hungry. I knew that I was going to have to monitor her food intake now. She was one of those women who ate one big meal a day and then would nibble until she went to bed. No more of that. Three healthy meals and lots of liquids; that was what the doctor said.

I turned off the car, and we got out.

"Can I carry something in or am I too fragile for that?" Selena frowned.

"You got it exactly. Matter of fact, I don't want you to get off of the couch until you give birth." It wasn't even really about the baby anymore, but Selena's safety.

"That's ridiculous, Justin. I have a job and things like that. I can't stay in the house all day." She turned on her heel and went to unlock the door.

"You will if I have anything to say about it," I mumbled to myself, carrying in the first few bags of groceries. I put them on the counter in the kitchen and heard a roar bellow throughout the house.

"What the hell is that?" Selena asked.

"I think it was Alec."

We followed the sounds until we came to the family room. There were pillows scattered around, and Francis was laying on one of them, asleep. Bowls of junk food were half turned over, spilling onto the carpet, and Alec was jumping in the air in front of the massive TV on the wall. A gaming controller was in his hand. He had nothing on but boxers and looked like he had just woken up.

"What the fuck is going on in here?" I bellowed.

Alec spun around, his mouth full of God knows what. "Oh."

"Did you have a party?" Selena stepped over a bag of chips.

"No, um, I didn't have class today and I thought you guys would be out until dinner."

"Is this what you usually do when you have the house alone?" I was seething mad. There were smudges on my carpet and dirty crap all over the place.

"No, I just had a big test and I wanted to chill out. I swear I don't do this all the time."

"Do you have to be so loud?" Selena asked.

"I'm fighting this kid from Romania." He pointed to the TV screen innocently, where his war game was paused. "He keeps killing off our troops since my partner is shit." Alec paused for a minute, and then spoke in fierce Russian into the headset around his head. It sounded like he and his partner were at odds over who was the real master at this game.

"Alec, turn this shit off and clean up," I demanded.

"But I'm almost done," he pleaded. "I won't take too long. I can't let them beat us!"

"Alright, alright. Just make sure everything is cleaned up." Selena started pushing me out of the room.

I was about to put my foot up his ass until he tasted the sole of my shoe, but didn't have the chance.

"Let me go back in there and beat him." I ran my hands through my hair in frustration.

"No, he didn't mean to make a mess." Selena sat on a kitchen stool. "Leave him alone."

"He knows the rules. Did you see my family room?"

"He's a kid. That's what kids do. He'll have it cleaned up. Don't worry."

"I'm going to go say something." I stomped back over to him. "Alec, turn that shit off. We need to talk."

He spoke into his headset, "Derzhatʹsya." He told his partner to hold on. "What's up, Justin?"

"Why are you partying in here like you don't have any sense?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd be home for a while." He toed the carpet.

I don't know why I was so mad, but I couldn't help my frustration. "You know the rules and clearly disobeyed them."

"Well, I said I was sorry. I'll clean it up now." He started to shuffle around the pillows back onto the sofa. He had a major attitude.

"Did you just roll your eyes at me?" I seethed further.

He didn't reply, but muttered under his breath.

"I asked you a question."

"No," he replied, "I'm cleaning up."

"It better be spotless when I come back in here." I went to walk out of the room.

"You know, kids make messes, Justin. Actually, that's all babies do for the first year of their lives," Alec snapped at me with a vicious tone.

"You don't think I know that?" I shouted.

"How the hell are you going to raise children then? Don't scream at me because you're inadequate."

"Take that back." I stepped towards him, my fist clenched to beat his face. "Don't you ever talk to me that way again."

"You know why you're so mad at me? Because you don't know how to raise children. You keep thinking that if you don't talk about it, the pregnancy will go away. Here's a newsflash: you're having a baby. Get used to it!" He pushed passed me and I heard his feet on the stairs.

I made every intention to run after him, but Selena's hands were suddenly on my chest, keeping me in place. "Let him go."

"Did you just hear what he said to me?"

"Yes, I did. You both just need to calm down."

"Selena, I swear to God…"

"Justin, please calm down. You both get so heated, and then things just get blown further out of proportion. Remember the last time? You tried to strangle him."

"He strangled me first," I argued.

"I know, but just let him breathe. This is just a stupid teenage, rebellion thing. We all went through it."

"I didn't because I had respect for my father." I sat on the couch, pushing Francis out of my way.

"Really? Like the time you stole his car and then ran it into a tree?" Selena sat next to me.

"Stop being so amazingly logical about all of this." I threw my head back. "I want to get mad."

"You don't need to." She grabbed my hand. "Just take deep breaths."

I did as she said and let air feel my lungs. I hated to admit it, but I did feel better after a minute or two.

"Do you think he's right?" I asked her.

"About what?"

"About me avoiding the subject that I'm going to be a terrible father."

"You're not going to be a terrible father. I can assure you of that."

"How can you be so certain?"

"Because I know that good parents have two outstanding qualities: love and responsibility. You have both of those and in high doses." She rested her head on my shoulder.

"What if this baby hates me? What if I get mad because he makes messes?"

"Of course you'll get mad and frustrated and scared, but I think that's normal."

"I've never been normal." I shut my eyes.

"And our baby won't ever be either. Don't worry, Justin."

"I have to worry. That's my job."

"Exactly. That means you care about this baby already."

Bingo!

"I know," I said quietly.

Selena and I sat in silence for at least an hour among the mess and debris that Alec had left behind. I got lost in my thoughts, once again. That seemed to happen a lot these days. I just couldn't understand why my life was going to shit. I had lost all control over things that I used to have a handle on. I was getting sloppy that is just unacceptable. I needed to do better. I had a crime syndicate to run and I hadn't been doing much of that since coming home. Times were about to change.

"I think you need to apologize to him," she said to me after a while.

"Hell no. I don't apologize."

"He's just as stubborn as you are and someone needs to fold first."

"Well, it sure won't be me. He knows he did wrong. Look at this place."

"Alec was right. Babies make messes. He's a teenager."

"So he should know better. I'll probably have to replace this carpet." I saw the smudges on the fabric.

"Or…get a vacuum cleaner."

"No, it's ruined." I sighed. "This is why I can't have anything nice."

"You're already starting to sound like a parent." She kissed my check before getting up. "Let him cool off some more and then go talk."

"I'm not apologizing."

"I said talk."

I sat on the couch and thought about what Alec said. Maybe he was right. This whole thing shouldn't have pissed me off so much, but it really did, and I wasn't sure why. Correction: I knew why. I was losing control of my house. I might be over exaggerating a little bit, but that's how I felt. First Alec took over the family room, and then everything under my roof. And he was just one kid.

What would happen when the baby arrived? I wouldn't have a sacred space left. I guessed that was the point, though. Once you have a child, your whole life changes. That was probably what I was confused about the most. My life never changed. I had a strict schedule from the time I woke up until the time my head hit the pillow. How was I supposed to accommodate a baby?

"Um, I didn't mean to snap at you." Alec plopped down on the sofa next to me. "I know you're not going to apologize, so don't bother."

"I would if I wanted to," I claimed bitterly.

That was all we said to each other, and it was almost as good as an apology.

"Look, I need to ask you a favor." I said quietly, so that Selena wouldn't hear.

"Anything,"

"I need you to look after Selena…when I'm not around. I need to know that she's safe and taken care of."

"Doesn't she have bodyguards and shit for that?"

"I'm not talking about physically. Sometimes, I feel like she doesn't want to open up to me about certain things because she's afraid I'll overreact, which is probably true. I just don't want her to think that she has to hold it all in. She likes talking to you."

"Because I'm awesome," He shrugged, "I've got her. She can always cry on my shoulder."

"Well, thank you. That's what I need from you."

"No problem. Selena and this baby are my first priority."

"So…what's this game you're so obsessed about?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"It's the best thing ever." Alec's eyes glazed over in excitement. "You can connect with people all over the world and create teams to beat other teams."

"And it's a war game?"

He nodded.

"What kind of weapons do they have?"

"Anything you could possibly want. Let me show you." He got off of the sofa and thrust one of the controllers at me.

An hour later, I was just as obsessed. I had never really been into video games, but this shit was addictive. It was so real and unlike anything I had ever played before. Mario and PacMan was good for a few minutes of fun, but they were nothing compared to the awesomeness of this. I wasn't an expert…yet, but I was getting there.

Our new team was comprised of some kid from Australia and another one from France. They both sucked ass, but swore that they were the best.

"Hey, Justin, why don't you go sit in the corner of that building and just wait for us to finish out the game." The snotty, sixteen-year old said in my ear from the headset I was wearing.

"Marcel, shouldn't you be in bed?" I snapped, clicking furiously on my controller, shooting anything that moved in the dark. More often than not, I would kill one of our guys. As in life, I went with the 'shoot first, ask questions later' philosophy.

"Both of you need to watch your backs," Alec said in my head and from next to me.

"Okay, this is ridiculous. Do you two have any idea what time it is?" Selena came into the room, chomping on a carrot or some kind of vegetable. I wasn't paying attention enough.

Alec and I erupted in a chorus of protests for her to move away from the TV.

"I don't understand men and their toys," she huffed. "Did you two even talk about the fight you had?"

"That's difference between the sexes, Selena." Alec tapped feverishly on his controller. "We don't have to talk. We just understand each other."

"Exactly," I agreed. "Can you move, sweetheart?"

"Why are men so one-track minded?" Selena sat between Alec and me. "Teach me how to play."

"Not right now." Alec was so into the game that he started to lift off of the couch in anticipation of a win.

Selena leaned her head against my shoulder and within minutes, was asleep.

It was late that night—might have been early morning—and I couldn't sleep. I hadn't really gotten more than a couple hours a night for the past couple of weeks. Tonight wouldn't be any different.

Selena's chest rose and fell lightly as she snored softly. This baby must be making her really tired. In all the years I had known Selena, she never snored, and it wasn't like we did anything strenuous today. She looked incredibly peaceful, though. Her normally vivid dreams seemed to have calmed down, so I couldn't complain with the lack of kicking under the sheets at night.

I tried to see if I could see any difference in her appearance. I figured the pregnancy would make her look completely different, but nothing had happened yet. At least, nothing I could see.

"Selena, are you awake?" I whispered.

She didn't reply.

I shifted so that my body was hovering over hers. I started to lift up her shirt, little by little, trying not to wake her. I got it past her stomach and stared down.

"How is it supposed to look?" I asked myself.

"I can see it," Selena said sleepily.

"Oh, you're up."

"You woke me up." She didn't open her eyes.

"Go back to bed. I was just checking."

I don't know what made me do it, but I leaned down and placed a kiss on her stomach. She giggled at the touch, so I did it again.

"I wonder if he can feel it," I said. "The whole process of pregnancy has become fascinating to me."

"It's even more fascinating going through it."

"Are you in pain?"

"No, just discomfort sometimes."

"I don't like the sound of that."

"It's normal. Pregnant women have to go through a lot of gross stuff."

"That's what the books say," I agreed, placing another kiss over her stomach.

"You've been reading the books?"

"In my free time…If I have free time."

"You work yourself too hard." She started to stroke my hair. "I'm worried about you."

"Don't. You're not supposed to be stressing."

"Last week, you left the house every day at five and didn't come back until after midnight."

"I can't help that." I sighed. "I took off today, didn't I?"

"You need more vacation time."

"There's no such thing. If I'm not at the office, I have family shit to deal with."

"Don't curse around the baby," she scolded.

"He can't hear me," I said hopefully.

"Well, I'm still worried about you. What has the doctor said?"

"Um, I'm healthy."

"You haven't seen the doctor yet, have you?"

"No, I don't have time." I rolled off of her.

"Justin, we've been back more than a month and you haven't had a physical yet. You need to get checked out."

"I'll do it this week," I promised.

My cell phone rang loudly on the nightstand, breaking our conversation.

"Don't get it." Selena groaned and rolled over.

"I have to." I sighed, recognizing the number. "Hello."

"Justin, we have to go," Emmett replied. "That meeting you wanted; it's happening now. He just called me."

"Get Jasper and bring him here in five minutes."

"Will do."

We hung up with each other rather quickly.

"What is it now?" Selena asked.

"Family business." I kissed her shoulder. She was mad at me, that much I could tell, but there wasn't anything I could do about it.

"What time should I expect you for breakfast?" She rose up on her elbows, watching me get dressed in my gray suit that I had set aside specifically for this occasion.

I checked my watch, which read three. "I won't be out long. I'll be back by seven."

"Be safe," she called as I rushed out of the door.

I banged on Alec's door. "Get up! We have to go."

"No," he shouted back.

I went into his messy as fuck room and pulled his covers off, "Get up."

"It's so early." He hugged Francis close to his body for warmth. "What's going on?"

"We have things to do."

"Son of a bitch." Alec huffed and shuffled out of bed to get dressed.

"What the hell is that smell?" I sniffed the air.

"I don't smell anything."

"When we get back, you're cleaning up because this is ridiculous." I couldn't stand the sight of his room anymore so I left.

I waited downstairs for him and tapped my foot on the tiled floor in the kitchen until he sauntered in.

"You look like shit," I commented, handing him a cup of coffee.

I didn't really hear his reply through the mumbling, but I could only guess at what horrible things he replied with. We shuffled out of the house, and I made sure to lock up.

I stood at the door, wondering if I should be leaving Selena alone now. I didn't feel right with her being in this empty house alone, if even for a minute.

"This is going to drive me crazy," I said to myself, shaking my head as I climbed into my Aston Martin with Alec already waiting in the front seat.

I pulled out of the driveway. Almost immediately, Emmett and Jasper were behind me in the Hummer. The followed me towards the city and through the early morning traffic. I never understood why Chicago had so many cars, even at this hour, but the traffic never ceased.

Taking longer than it should have, I finally arrived at the large residential building downtown. I noticed that it was the only property on the block that I didn't own. That pissed me off.

It was strange to me that there wasn't any security as we parked underground, but I was sure there was more than enough upstairs. I was betting on it. Before getting out of the car, I checked the chamber of my Eagle. Alec did the same with his own weapon.

"My penis itches," Emmett said as he hopped out of the Hummer.

"What the hell?" Alec scrunched up his face. "That's gross."

"I just thought you all should know."

"That has nothing to do with why we're here." Jasper fixed his tie. "This is work."

"I'm just saying; I think I should go to the doctor."

"I told you from the beginning that Rosalie was a cesspool of God knows what," I muttered on my way to the elevators.

"Yeah, you would know. I'm still pissed that you two fucked."

"Get over it. She wasn't even that good." I didn't turn around, but I could hear Emmett making a move to hit me. Jasper was talking quietly with him, trying to calm the nerves. I silently smirked at how easy it was to piss him off. It wasn't like I actually cared about Rosalie—or any other woman of my past. That thing between us was just physical and as mentioned, not even that good. Maybe it was too soon to joke about it. Well, for some people, not me.

The doors of the elevator opened and we stuffed ourselves inside. Emmett stayed on the opposite side with a major scowl on his face.

"This is not about personal shit. Let's get our heads in the game," Jasper scolded. "You two are like teenagers."

"He started it." Emmett kicked the wall.

"No. You're itchy penis started it," I shot back.

"I can't believe I got up for this shit." Alec rolled his eyes.

The elevator stopped abruptly, jolting us to a halt, and the lights shut off. It was silent and we didn't move for about half a minute.

"This is always how horror movies start," Emmett said in the dark.

Something started to beep on the side panel of the wall and I searched in the dark for the button.

"This is just a routine security check point," a hard voice said over the speaker. "Names."

"Justin Bieber…and guests," I replied. There were various forms of admonishments from my brothers at them being called "guests". I silenced them with a snap of my fingers.

"And why are you here?" the voice asked.

"We have private business to deal with."

"I need a better answer than that."

"Well, you're not getting one."

I waited for a long minute, with my finger on the button, waiting for a reply that never came.

"Hello, sir. I don't know who you are, but I have things to do," I snapped."Let us up."

Still no reply.

"He's going to make me lose my cool." I stepped back, more agitated than I should have been. I reprimanded myself for not taking my pills before I got in the car. I was more on edge than ever now.

Thankfully, before I went completely crazy, the elevator lights came back on and we started to move again.

"See, no need to get mad." Alec clapped my shoulder. I pushed him away.

The ride up was quick, and then we finally arrived on the right floor.

As soon as the doors opened, we were roughly pulled out and pushed against a wall by security men.

"Watch those hands," I snarled as one of them silently searched me.

"You can't have guns." The man took the Eagle out of my belt and disabled it.

I spun around, and pressed my forearm against his neck as I pushed him back into the wall. He was taken completely by surprise and didn't have enough time to react as I held him steady.

"No one touches my gun." My other hand twisted his wrist until he let it fall to the floor.

"Gentleman, no need for fighting. This is a civil meeting," someone said from down the hall.

I let the guard go and picked up my firearm, cocking it back in place.

Aberto Mangicavallo was wobbling on his feet. Possibly drunk. In a robe and with sex hair. I could actually smell the sweat and raunchy filth from his skin.

"Did you forget about our meeting?" I asked.

"No. I was waiting." He snorted. "Please, follow me." Aberto walked back down the hall, expecting us to follow.

"Keep your cool, Justin. Don't get so hotheaded," Alec whispered to me.

"I don't know how to control myself," I admitted. "It's not my fault."

Just don't kill him, Justin. Not yet.

We soon arrived at his office at the end of the long hall. It was a dark and moody room with sleek, metallic furniture.

"You can leave," Aberto told his bodyguard.

"But, sir…"

"I'm sure everything will be alright." He shut the door. "Just give me a second to change." Aberto put his bottle of gin down and scurried into the bathroom.

"This place looks like Cher's bedroom." Emmett touched the black painted walls.

"I don't think I like him very much," Alec said. "He seems kind of…off."

"Just keep your mouth shut and I'll handle everything," I told them.

Aberto reemerged a couple of minutes later in a smart suit that I was surprised actually looked good in his drunken stupor. He seemed to have sobered up pretty well during that time in the bathroom.

"So, gentlemen, please sit." He pointed to a row of chairs in front of his desk. We did. "I heard you'd like to speak with me, Justin. I'm very glad because I've been dying to meet you myself. Your father was a very…interesting man. I assume you're no different."

"Carlisle's not dead yet," I reminded him. "And I'm a very different type of man."

"Well, you called this meeting, so what is it that you wanted?"

"I need all the territory back in Chicago. You've had your run with it for a couple of years, but that's Bieber territory. You know it."

Aberto chuckled darkly. "I was under the impression that that was Aro's land. He gave it over to us."

"Your assumptions were wrong," I said with finality. "I need for you to stay away from the West End."

"I'm sorry, but I can't do that. I have very…lucrative business in that area."

Don't kill him.

"I will run you out if I have to," I told him. "I'm not a very patient man and I suggest you just cut your losses."

"I can't do that, Justin." He scratched his chin. "I just can't."

I sighed, "This won't end well for you. I'm trying to be more diplomatic and I don't want to outright kill you."

"You could try." He shrugged. "You wouldn't succeed. And I don't think you'd like to risk the things most important to you."

"What do you mean by that?" I sat up in my seat.

Aberto pulled out a large black-and-white photo of Selena, taken from afar. She was walking into work and had no idea someone was photographing her.

He took a lighter and lit the picture. It started to burn red and orange, before crumbling to ashes a couple of seconds later. "I would hate to see your pretty wife to suddenly go missing. Kill me, and I'll start a war you won't ever win."

Don't kill him.

Easier said than done.

I pulled out my Eagle and pointed it straight at his face. The silencer on the end, muffled the bullet as it blasted through the gun and into the wall behind him.

"Threaten my wife again and I'll make sure that hits its mark," I growled angrily. "I don't ever want to hear her name come out of your mouth. Is that understood?"

Aberto seemed more rattled that expected. He jumped in his seat slightly. He nodded.

"He threatened Selena. You heard him," I said.

I saw Alec nod from my side view.

"You'll get what's coming to you, Bieber."

"I'm counting on it. This was your first warning. Get out of town."

"Do we have any other options?" His brow furrowed.

"Work for me. If that doesn't appeal to you, then stay out of my way." I threw my business card on his desk. "I can't stay at this meeting any longer, unfortunately, because I have to talk to some Brazilians about a cocaine shipment. Call me when you're ready to talk again."

I stood up and began to walk out of the door. I could feel my brothers following.

"Well, done, Justin." Emmett clapped my shoulder. "We don't have to bring out the body bags."

I let out the breath I felt like I had been holding my entire time in there. One thing that I wouldn't put up with—above all else—was my family being threatened. Selena, especially. Aberto knew that was a stupid move, and if he didn't make the right choices in the next couple of days, things might get a little scary for him.

We stood in the elevator to go back down and just as the elevators were about to close, I saw Aberto at the end of the hall with a look in his eyes that told me, "This isn't over".

My heels clicked on the carpeted floor of Justin's office as I walked down the hall towards Mario's desk. Unlike usual, Mario wasn't busily working, or sorting through paper, or typing frantically on his computer. He was face-down, snoring and slobbering on a bunch of files.

I tried not to laugh, but he really did look a mess—like he had been in that same exact spot all night. Since it was noon, I figured he must have gotten in really early. Justin usually made Mario come in right around the same time he did. I'm sure Justin would have a fit if he saw him in such a state of unprofessionalism.

"Mario." I tapped his head. He didn't move. "Mario!"

He shot straight up in his chair and snorted awake with a piece of paper stuck to his mouth. "Oh, shit."

"You looked peaceful." I rested my elbows on the tall desk. "Sorry I woke you."

"Please don't tell Mr. Bieber." He started to panic. "I didn't mean to sleep, but I just got out so late last night and then this morning…I didn't mean to; I swear."

"Calm down. I'm not going to tell him anything." I went around the desk and took his crinkled up jacket from behind his chair. "Get this dry cleaned before you come in tomorrow. Justin will kill you if he sees you looking like this."

"I really didn't mean to fall asleep." He got up, re-tucking in his shirt. "He's going to fire me."

"So say something."

Mario was a really good kid. The only reason Justin pushed so hard was because he saw his potential. He always told me that Mario's brain was too good to waste. He had to be productive at all hours of the day and in ten years or so, he would be some kind of super genius if Justin trained him right.

Mario's eyes grew to an unhealthy size. "I can't say anything. He would kill me or worse…fire me."

"I'm going to tell you something." I leaned in and whispered, "Justin needs you just as much as you need him."

"I don't think so. Mr. Bieber is like a legend." Mario shook his head. "A million people would kill for this job."

"And you're doing it wonderfully. Just get more sleep." I handed him back his jacket.

"Thank you." He smiled at me. "You're very nice to me."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know. I just never thought Mr. Bieber's wife would be so…sociable."

"Justin is too; he just doesn't like to show it."

"I remember when you got arrested. Professor Nardi was my literature teacher, and he used to always talk about you. He said you were really smart."

I felt my blush heat up my cheeks. "I liked that class."

"Well, thank you for waking me up. I have so much work to do." He started to stack up some of the papers that had fallen off his desk.

"Have you eaten lunch?"

"No time for lunch." Mario carried files as he scurried away down the hall.

As I walked through the office, I noticed that everyone had that drawn-out, exhausted look to them. It wasn't healthy.

I arrived at Jane's desk. She was on the phone, which seemed to always be attached to her ear. She smiled at me and quickly hung up.

"Hi, Selena."

"Hi, Jane. How are you?"

"Good. Lots of work to do today. Justin came in on a rampage this morning about how the company's stock went down in the Japanese markets last night. He has the staff on rotation. Half of them are here now and then the other half come in at night."

I sighed. "He's making everyone suffer because he's suffering. He won't see a doctor, he hasn't made an appointment with his therapist, and he's always on edge."

"Well, I would be too if I were him. He's got a baby to look out for now." She bit her lip, trying not to smile too wide. "We're all so excited. And he is too. I can tell."

"I wish he would talk to me about it."

"He hasn't said anything?"

I shook my head. "Not really. I think he's happy about it, but every time I try to bring up the baby, he changes the subject. I don't know what that means."

"Well, he talks to me about it."

"Really? What does he say?" I asked, eager to hear something about the topic.

"He's really stressed, as you could imagine. He freaks out if you get a paper cut and now you're just super fragile. He's trying to let you live your life, but he's worried about you…especially after last time."

"I figured as much."

"Did you know he pulled the connecting lines from your carbonator last week? That's why it hasn't been working."

"Yeah, I found them in his sock drawer. I let the driver take me everywhere now so I don't have to argue with Justin about it."

"He just needs to sort it out, but he's so busy."

Suddenly, the phone rang.

"Ah, it's your wonderful husband." Jane pushed a button on the screen of her computer.

"Jane, I need you to go into my office and find my silver cufflinks. I know I had them when I left the house. Selena put them right next to my watch."

She held up said cufflinks in her hand and shook her head at me."You took them off to fix your shirt this morning and then got that call from the Mayor so were distracted. You left without them."

"And you didn't tell me? What kind of secretary are you?"

"The one who knows that theses cufflinks didn't even go with that suit you had on. I saved you."

"I have impeccable fashion sense."

I laughed behind my hand, trying to disguise my presence. Of course, he heard me.

"Is that Selena? It sounded like Selena. Selena, are you there?"

"No," Jane snapped. "Pay attention to your lunch meeting. You have to be back here in an hour for a conference call to Japan."

She hung up the phone without another word.

"You're the only one who can talk to him like that," I said.

"Because I'm his work wife. He hired me to be a hardass. Whenever I let him get away with things, he scolds me."

"Well, keep it up. Can I go in?"

"Sure, Lydia's waiting for you."

"Perfect."

"Bye, Baby Justin." She waved at my stomach. "See you soon."

Everyone in the family was doing that these days.

Today was a good day on the pregnancy scale. I only threw up once, and it didn't even hurt. I ate a sensible and healthy breakfast. I snacked on a rice cake for lunch and was supposed to meet Justin for dinner before going to work. I even walked to the fucking treadmill in the basement since Alec said I was getting fat. I almost cried when he said that. I blamed it on hormones.

I had only gained about five pounds so far. Alice assured me she couldn't tell. I did see a more defined bump this morning in the mirror, so I guessed that was good. It meant that the baby was growing. I never got to see a bump with Elizabeth.

All-in-all, it was a wonderful start to my day.

I walked into Justin's large, vacant office, which looked pristine. Nothing was out of order—not a sheet of paper, or pen, or chair. The TV on the wall was on and playing the news. Justin always kept the news playing.

I sat behind his desk and the computer screens immediately came on, sensing someone. There were four of them, spread out over the table. A bright blue design started to swirl across the monitors like it was possessed.

"Isabella Bieber," I spoke and the computers identified my voice.

"Welcome back, Mrs. Bieber," a sweet, feminine tone replied.

"Hello, Lydia."

"I trust you're having a wonderful day."

"I am, thank you."

Lydia was the coolest thing I had ever seen in my life. She was a voice activated, automatic computer that didn't even have a keyboard. She could hold conversations and do whatever you wanted just by talking. Justin loved her. We also had one at the house, and they were supposed to be incredibly secure. I didn't even think the government had the technology to break into this.

A lot of different things started to pop up on the screens.

"What can I do for you today?" Lydia asked.

"I need to schedule some appointments for Justin. Can you find some space for them within the next couple of days?"

A calendar appeared and it was filled with small notes of appointments or meetings. I honestly didn't know how Justin slept.

"We have a few spaces open early tomorrow…" she started to say, but then stopped. "No, my mistake. Jane just booked that hour."

"Well, you'll have to cancel something. He needs to meet with his doctor for a physical plus a therapy appointment as soon as possible."

"About the baby?"

"He told you?" I sputtered. "Has he talked to everyone about it but me?"

"He's just worried, Mrs. Bieber."

"Well, make him those two appointments." I crossed my arms.

"I'm canceling a breakfast tomorrow with the Congressman for this."

"There will be many more breakfasts, Lydia."

"Anything else, Mrs. Bieber?"

"No. Thank you."

Lydia went back to sleeping or whatever the hell she did. Justin chose that exact moment to waltz into his office. He looked exhausted, but anyone else wouldn't ever know. He hid it very well. His black-rimmed glasses sat on his nose, and I had a sneaking suspicion that he might have had bourbon for lunch. Not healthy. My pregnancy nose could smell it from a mile away.

"You're still here?" He let out a seemingly happy sigh, coming over to kiss me.

"Yes. I had some time to kill before dinner."

"We have a couple hours, actually." He checked his watch.

"I didn't want to sit in the house any longer. I can go if you're busy."

"Um, well I am busy, but do you promise to let me work?" He grinned.

"Yes, sir." I got up from his chair and went to sit on the couch. Maybe I could take a nap.

"How are you feeling today?" Justin asked.

"We had a good morning. No excessive vomit or tiredness."

He let out an exhale of relief. "Good. When is your next appointment?"

"In a couple of weeks." I laid my head down on the sofa and stretched out. "I'm going to sleep so I don't bother you."

"You never bother me."

Justin was being especially sweet today—almost too sweet. He was about to do or say something that I wasn't going to like.

"How is your day going?" I asked.

"Okay, I guess."

"I heard you were pissed this morning about something."

"I'm always pissed when I lose money," he replied coldly.

"For a man who has so much of it, what's a meager million dollars?"

"I can't believe you just asked that. It's like you don't know me at all." He feigned shock. "My time is very precious and I use it for two things: you and money. Soon I'll have to make room for a baby."

"I feel so honored." I rolled my eyes, even though they were closed.

"Selena, I thought you weren't going to distract me." Justin's voice was suddenly closer and I could smell his scent above me.

"I'm just sitting here, minding my own business…" I was cut off by lips—searing lips that caused me to moan immediately. It was kind of pathetic at how easily I melted at just his touch or a stare.

"As much as I would like to climb on top of you right now, I have work to get done," he said lowly. "You and the baby need to rest."

"That we do." I tilted my head up, capturing his lips with mine again. I couldn't help it. "But I don't want to sleep anymore."

"You're so naughty these days." He chuckled.

"Hormones," I answered.

Our perfectly sexual moment was cut off by the phone. It shrilled on his desk like it needed all the attention in the world.

"Damn," Justin huffed and left me alone on the couch.

I didn't think I was that tired, but I obviously was. I don't really remember much after that until I was being shaken awake.

"Selena," Justin said quietly, "Selena, wake up. We have dinner reservations."

"Oh." I tried to roll over and being the clumsy fool that I was, almost fell off of the couch. Thankfully, Justin caught me.

"We're going to have to work on that." He sat me up on the sofa.

"I can't help it."

"You can walk a mile in heels, but fall off a couch if I blow on you too hard."

"That sounded dirty." I giggled, still in a drunken slumber.

"Go freshen up." He laughed. "We're almost late."

"Okay, okay. I'm going." I stood up and wobbled slightly. Justin held onto me on the way to the bathroom that was connected to his office. "I'm fine. I can walk."

"I'm afraid to let go of you."

"Give me five minutes." I closed to the door. I really had to pee. My bladder was always filled these days. I brushed my teeth and made sure my makeup wasn't messy before walking back out.

Justin was on the phone, looking out of the large window, shouting and getting very red. I had no idea who he was talking about, but whoever it was should be scared.

"Listen to me, you little shit, I'm about to go on a trip and I need that information immediately…No, I don't care about the cost…Get me what I need or there will be hell to pay. Do I make myself clear?" Justin hung up the phone and ran a hand through his hair.

He must not have known I was behind him, because he jumped a little when I cleared my throat.

"Oh, are you ready to go?" he asked, regaining composure.

I nodded, putting on my shoes. "You're going on a trip?"

"What?" Justin put on his sunglasses.

"You're going on a trip?"

"No." He shook his head and kept his hand on the small of my back on our way out of the door. "Jane, we're going to dinner. If you're not here when we get back, make sure I have those reports on my desk."

"Alec and I are going out as well, but you'll have your reports." she replied without raising her head.

On our way down to the first floor on the elevator, Justin didn't even turn his head towards me. Of course, his eyes were covered so I couldn't search for answers in them, but I wasn't letting up.

"On the phone, you said you were going on a trip."

"You must have misheard me," he countered.

"Don't lie to me, Justin."

"Alright, fine. I didn't want to tell you because I'm not sure if I'm even going. I could send Emmett if I wanted to stay home."

"Okay, that's a start. Is this a legitimate thing?"

"Yes. I need to go to Tokyo for a few things. It's nothing mafia related, but it would be for about a week."

"Tokyo for a week!" I said louder than I meant to. I calmed down quickly. "Wow. That's a long time."

"I know and I didn't want you to unnecessarily worry."

"I'm not worrying." I shook my head quickly.

"Yes, you are. The doctor said you shouldn't be…especially after last time. We can't take any chances. I don't want you to know about the work I do when it's nothing you need to be concerned about." He wrapped an arm around me, bringing my body close to his.

"Alright," I agreed, "but you're being safe, right?"

"Yes. That I can promise you."

"Then the secrets are fine."

"They aren't secrets. I'm just protecting you."

I didn't get a chance to say anything back because the elevator doors opened and we strode out onto the marble floor of the lobby. There were greetings from secretaries and security staff—none of which Justin acknowledged. He owned the whole building so everyone knew him. I tried to at least wave to everyone so they didn't think we were total jackasses, but Justin pretended like no one existed but us.

There was a black Aston Martin with dark tinted windows waiting for us on the curb. A sandy-blonde haired man held the door open with a smile. "Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Bieber."

"Hello, William," I replied. "How's the new baby?"

"Wonderful. She's so adorable." He beamed.

"And this is your third?"

"Yes, ma'am." His smile was so big, it looked like it hurt. I hoped Justin would smile that way about our baby, "She's the most precious thing in the world."

"I'm happy for you two."

"And how are you doing today?" He motioned to my stomach.

"Fine, thank you."

"We're all very excited for you two. Maybe yours and mine can get have a play date one day."

"Well, it's nice to know my baby already has friends."

"Of course, ma'am."

I slid into the backseat. Justin didn't follow me immediately. I heard him accost William. "You've been driving me around for a while now. Since when have I ever given you permission to talk anything but business with me, let alone my wife?"

"I'm sorry, sir. It won't happen again." William's voice was professional and remorseful. "I was just answering her questions."

"I don't care if she asked you to carry her through fire. You check with me first."

"Yes, sir."

Justin ducked his head and situated himself in the car next to me. The door shut.

"You didn't have to be so mean," I whispered.

"That's the second time I've had to say something to him. His father drove me to high school every morning. I would hate to fire him over simple instructions."

"I'll have to send his wife flowers in congratulations. We pregnant women have to stick together."

"She was pregnant," Justin told me.

"Same thing." I shrugged. I knew he didn't want me having conversations with people who worked for us, and I understood that, but I could at least say "hi" once and awhile.

The drive to the restaurant was tense. William was trying to stay in line, and Justin was starring daggers at him. I could feel his anger rolling off of him. I took his hand and he let up slightly, but still seemed pissed. In Justin's mind, he had to keep a clear line between "us" and "them". The sad thing was I understood the theory. Does that make me a bad person? Stuck-up? Pretentious?

We pulled up to the front of the restaurant and William came to open the door. My hand stayed in Justin's as we climbed out of the car.

"Thank you. You can pick us up in about an hour. Selena needs to get to work," Justin said to him.

"No problem, sir." William bowed his head. "Have a wonderful dinner."

"I'll send flowers," I whispered, not so quietly. William smirked at me and nodded.

Justin led me inside and we were ushered up the stairs to a private dining room by a confident hostess. She swayed her hips and puckered her lips, trying to show off what she had to offer.

The room was minimalistic with its earthy tones and fine dinnerware. There were a couple private rooms on the second floor, and Justin made sure we had one tucked away at the end of a long hall. He pulled out my chair and I sat down, trying not to jostle the table.

"My name is Melony and I'll be your waitress for the night. Can I get you two anything to drink?" she asked.

"I'll have a glass of Pinot Grigio," Justin said sternly, not looking at her. "What would you like, sweetheart?"

"We'll both have water. Don't bring the wine." I told the waitress.

She stood, looking between the both of us.

"You can't have it with your medicine." I dug through my purse and pulled out his anti-anxiety pills. He hadn't been taking them regularly because he seemed calm, but I could tell he needed help. His cold tone and demeanor with everyone was getting to be too much.

Justin grumbled, "Waters will be fine."

"Would you like to start off with something?" She smiled. "We have a wonderful spicy and sweet carrot soup that you might like, Justin."

Justin?

"My name is Mr. Bieber," he seethed. "And no. Just our drinks for right now."

The waitress kind of did an awkward curtsey before leaving the room, shutting the door behind her.

I looked at him suspiciously."That was strange."

"Yes, I know." He took his pills from me and downed two of them. "Do you really think I need to be taking these and why exactly do you have them?"

"I always have a stash somewhere on me. You're lucky I don't carry a tranquilizer around an your attitude is so snippy these days."

"With everyone except you. I make sure to save my good side for you." Justin grinned. "Because I love you."

I squinted at him.

The waitress returned with our drinks. "Anything else?"

"We'll have the salads and two orders of the short ribs. One without the wine sauce," Justin said mechanically.

She nodded. "Of course, sir."

"What is going on?" I asked when she left the room.

"I think I've slept with her before." He bit his lip.

"You think?" My whole body heated up in anger.

"I did," he corrected himself. "A long time ago."

"I'm really getting tired of this. They're everywhere."

There was a knock on the door, and a burly man with red hair stuck his head in. "I was just coming to introduce myself. I'm the manager of this restaurant. Is there anything I can get for you two?"

"Actually, yes." I turned to him. "Our waitress' name is Melony. Can you have her fired?"

His mouth dropped in surprise. "I'm…not sure I can do that. Is there a complaint, Mrs. Bieber?"

"Yes, I don't like her," I said and crossed my hands on the table. "She needs to be fired."

"Thank you for stopping by. Everything is fine," Justin assured him, chuckling.

The manager left without another word.

"Who has the bad attitude now?" Justin asked me.

"Why is it that everywhere we go, another one of your whores is right around the corner?"

"I've had a lot of experience." He shrugged. "I can't apologize for my past."

"Well, make sure they know that you're off the market."

"I'm pretty sure they do by now. You're very scary when you want to be." He placed his hand over my clenched fists, "I wear the wedding band that you gave me. Don't forget that."

"Don't touch me," I snapped. "If I could drink, I would right now."

"Too bad." He chuckled again. I think he found it amusing at how ticked off I got these days. It happened a lot, and most of the time I was back to normal within a couple of minutes. He knew not to take any of my crazy thoughts seriously. This whore situation, though, was something I would probably always be dealing with. They were everywhere. I knew Justin would never do anything, like cheat on me, but I still didn't like it.

"I have no more relations with any of the women of my past. If I see them, I turn my head."

"You better." I took my napkin and roughly put it in my lap.

"And what about you? I see the way men look at you and it takes all I can not to kill them on them on the streets." He argued.

"Out of the two of us, I'm not the one who cheated. Lest we forget that faithful Christmas vacation you took to the Bahamas."

"Are we going to bring that up again?" Justin was playing with my anger. He could tell that none of this would matter once the food got here. I would be too preoccupied.

"I just want to remind you."

He held up is hand in front of my face so that I could see the gold band around his ring finger, "I'm locked down for life."

That made me smile.

"You've tamed the beast." Justin leaned across the table, begging for a kiss. I gave him one.

Melony was replaced by a more docile male waiter who brought our salads. After my anger washed away with the coming of food, Justin and I were able to converse normally.

"This looks really good," I moaned in anticipation. "I didn't realize how hungry I was."

"I hear pregnancy does that to you."

"I'm surprised I haven't devoured it all yet." I licked my lips.

Justin took the beets from my plate and put them on his, while I stole most of his croutons.

"You left some." He pointed around his plate in disgust, "Hurry before them mix with the rest of the salad."

"I can't reach those."

He picked out the rest and placed them on my plate. "Extra carbs will be the death of me. I've gained five pounds since being back in Chicago. I can't afford anymore."

"Don't get me started on weight."

"You're supposed to gain weight. I need to go running and get my exercise schedule back."

"Well, take Alec with you. He has too much energy these days."

"Agreed."

Justin was chill and relaxed with me. No one was around to trigger his mood swings, and I didn't have to worry about him upsetting any of the restaurant staff.

"This is so good." I ate a piece of the short rib from dinner. "Why haven't I had this before?"

"I don't like coming here a lot."

"Why? It's nice."

"They always get my order wrong." He picked up an onion from his plate, pushing it aside.

"I don't recall you giving specifics."

"They should just know."

"Ah, I see," I responded.

During dinner, Justin's phone would vibrate violently. If it was a call, he ignored it, but he always replied to texts or emails.

"I really wish I could turn this thing off," he complained.

"Why don't you?"

"Do you know how much money I make a minute?" he asked without looking at me, his attention still on his phone.

"A lot?"

"Yeah…a lot. I can't just disregard my work." Justin placed his phone on the table next to his plate. "I don't mean to ignore you."

"No, it's not bothering me. I'm just worried that you work too much."

"Always worrying when you shouldn't," he sighed.

"Money isn't everything, Justin. And it's not like you actually contribute to society at all."

"Did you know that Ben&Jerry's donates five percent of their profits each year to charities?" he asked.

I nodded.

"Well, I figured during your pregnancy, I will be donating five percent of my wealth to Ben&Jerry's. It all works out."

Damn him. Now I wanted ice cream…really bad.

"I want to live in your head," I said. "It must be fascinating."

"You have no idea."

It was late Saturday night and thankfully, Justin took my advice and stayed at home. The phone was turned off, Lydia stayed asleep, and work was all but forgotten.

We had spent all day in bed, talking, watching TV, or just napping. I was trying to get his blood pressure down. My plan was fatally flawed when I woke up with Justin's mouth doing delicious things to my body. I was defenseless and let him have his way with me…over and over and over again.

Justin was currently resting on his stomach, his arms wrapped around his pillow. I hadn't seen him look this peaceful in a long time. I drew circles on his back.

I kissed the large tattoo over his right shoulder, "When are you going to get another one of these?" I asked.

"Why? You like them?"

"I didn't use to in high school. Mike had one and I hated it. But…I like yours."

"I don't want to talk about your ex-boyfriend right now."

"In any case, I find your tattoos very sexy." I kissed it again.

"I'll get another one when the baby is born. Once we figure out a name." He said nonchalantly.

My heart fluttered a little, "Have you thought of any names."

He shook his head, "Not yet."

And then, like always, he changed the subject.

"Selena, I have something to tell you."

"You do? And what might that be?"

"Remember yesterday when I told you that I needed to make a trip to Tokyo?"

"Yes, for business."

"Right. Well, those plans have been changed recently."

"So you're not going anywhere?" I asked hopefully.

"Unfortunately, no." He opened his eyes. "I'll be going to Spain for two weeks. I'm leaving on Monday."

"What?" I almost fell out of bed. "On Monday?"

"Calm down." He wrapped his long arm around my naked body.

"No, I will not calm down. That's so long." I tried to wiggle out of his grasp, but he wouldn't let me go.

"If you'd shut up, I could ask you if you'd want to come along."

I stopped moving. "Come along…to Spain?"

He nodded. "I really only need to be there for a week so that I can get my business done, but I have a free week and since I owe you a honeymoon, I thought we could do it right."

"In Spain?" I repeated like a broken record.

"Yes, Selena. Am I not explaining myself thoroughly?"

"No, no. You just took me off guard." I sat up against the headboard. "I would love to go, but it's so soon. I have to work and I have a doctor's appointment and I'm supposed to help Alice with her charity benefit thing she's doing…"

"Selena, stop it," Justin commanded sternly. "That's too much on your plate and I won't have you working so hard."

"My life can't stop just because I'm pregnant."

"I forbid it." His lips went into a tight line.

"You forbid it?"

"Yes. Unless you take this trip with me. I'm just asking for a week."

I sighed, thinking of any way out of work. I had just started and it wasn't like I could ask for a whole week off because of a vacation.

"I want this to be just the two of us, but unfortunately Emmett, Jasper, and Alec have to come with me. I'm sure the girls will want to tag along. I know it's not much of a vacation, but we can get away." Justin started to trail his fingers up my leg. "Please, Selena. Come with me."

"I want to." My body, on its own volition, sunk down the headboard until I was lyingon the bed. His hand went higher, distracting me. It was now between my thighs and creating pulses of pleasure that radiated over my legs.

"I can call your boss and ask him to let you have the week off."

"You're not my father, Justin. You don't have to do that," I breathed when his hand reached the Promised Land. My bare pussy was waiting to be played with, and Justin knew it.

"I just need to make one call and it's done. Please, Selena." His voice was low and sensual in my ear with his pleading. He kissed my neck, his hand cupped my center; his hard body pressed me into the mattress. I was in heaven. "One call."

"Okay," I whimpered when he entered a finger into me. "I'll go with you."

"Thank you," he whispered.

Needless to say, it didn't take very long for me to be convinced that I had to go on this trip or suffer more sexual torture.

After I was exhausted to the point of no return, I lay on my back and stared up at the ceiling.

"We leave in two days." Justin hopped off of the bed giddily. "I knew you'd say yes."

"You tricked me with your Svengali-like magic."

"Or your willpower is just incredibly low." He smirked his way out of the door, in nothing but boxers. "I have a few accommodations to make."

"No working!" I shouted when he went into the hallway.

"Yes, ma'am."

I lied in bed for a good half hour, trying to calm my sexual nerves. I didn't know if pregnancy was supposed to release new endorphins or something, but pregnant sex was the best kind. I didn't know how to describe it. I just knew that I wouldn't be able to just have normal sex again.

There was a knock on the door that brought me back to the present. "Uh, Selena, I know you two are having a good time in there, but I was wondering if I could trouble you for some food." Alec's voice sounded so small.

"Go make a sandwich."

"I would, but there's absolutely no food in this house. I could order a pizza."

"No. I'll go to the store." I looked at the clock. It was nine at night, but thankfully, the fresh market was open twenty-four hours. I climbed out of bed and started to get dressed. I decided on simple jeans and tee-shirt. It was too late to dress up in anything else.

"Selena, I can just order something. Don't worry yourself," Alec said.

"You and Justin don't need to be eating that kind of garbage," I replied, but now that I thought about it, a pizza did sound nice. "Plus, I need to pick up a few things."

"It's so late at night."

"I'm leaving in half an hour. Go see what we need."

"Alright," he said through the door.

I checked with Justin to see if he wanted anything. He was on the phone, so I didn't even think he heard me say I was leaving. Even though I told him not to work, his face was red in anger as he shouted to someone. All he ever did nowadays was shout. It wasn't healthy.

I left the house with a short list of things that I needed to get and took one of Justin's nicer cars. Since he broke mine, I had to use something. I chose the black Bugatti Veyron, which probably wasn't the best idea since Justin hadn't even driven it himself. He just polished the thing for hours on end. It was sleek, beautiful, and fast; Italian engineering at its best.

I was out of the driveway and tried not to blast through the streets, but it was hard to stay under the speed limit in a car like this. I arrived at the fresh market entirely too fast, but it was fun while it lasted.

I sat in the car after turning it off because my phone had been buzzing since I put it in my pocket. Of course, Justin knew his prized possession was missing and told me so over some very heated voicemails.

"Isabella Bieber, if you don't bring my car home right this instant, I might just lock you out of the house! I mean it, Selena!"

That was one of the more tame ones. I left my phone in the car so I wouldn't be tempted to pick up if he called while I shopped. I was in big trouble, but a marriage is about compromise. I agreed to go on this vacation with him, so I think I had the right to use the car.

I found an empty cart and claimed it as my own. You'd be surprised at how many people shopped late at night and some of these old women got feisty if you took their carts. As I was pushing into the store, I accidently bumped into a group of men standing outside, smoking.

"Oh, sorry about that," I apologized. "I wasn't watching where I was going."

"It's no problem," one of the men said. He looked really sick with pale skin and shaking hands, trying to take drags of his cigarette. The other three in his group looked the same. They couldn't have been older than sixteen at the most.

"Is that your car?" another of the guys asked, nodding to my parking spot.

"Uh, my husband's," I replied awkwardly. I didn't really want to strike up a conversation with them.

"That's a sweet ride."

"I'll be sure to let him know you think so."

All the guys nodded and took pulls of their cigarettes at the same time.

"Sorry again," I said and pushed past them, through the sliding glass doors.

The grocery store wasn't massive, but happened to be very popular. Even on regular Saturday nights like this, there were about twenty people milling around, which was a lot for a place this size. They specialized in fresh, organic food, and I made it a point to shop here more. My family needed all the help they could get. I didn't think I'd ever seen Alec eat a vegetable voluntarily.

I leisurely perused through the aisles, ignoring the list in my pocket and just picking up things I saw. I was in the middle of examining apples when I heard the sound that I had become so accustomed to in the past couple of years.

A barrage of bullets left a gun from the front of the store. It sounded like a semi-automatic; maybe an Army tactical rifle or some kind of hunting firearm.

My body immediately hit the floor as a reflex. There were a lot of screams from shoppers, and I was suddenly on high alert. My eyes honed for anything sign of danger, my heartbeat sped up to a rapid pace, my head started to pound, and my breathing came out in harsh rasps.

I cowered behind a canned soup display at the end of the aisle. Thankfully, I was in the back of the store and tried not to make a sound.

"This is a stickup!" a voice came over the intercom. "I need everyone to make their way to the back of the store."

A few more gunshots scared the shit out of me, and I bit my lip to stop myself from crying.

Why did you leave your fucking phone in the car?

There was a lot of movement, and some people came near me since I was in a corner. No one dared speak or breathe, for that matter.

A man appeared, showing off his large weapon, and I recognized him as the one who complimented my car outside.

"I need everyone's wallets, jewelry, and phones!" he commanded. "Now!"

People started to slide things over to him, and he gathered it all up in a plastic bag.

"What's going to happen to us, Mommy?" a boy asked next to me. He was in the arms of his mother.

"I don't know, honey. Everything's going to be all right."

I realized that I had more than myself to care for. I was carrying a child. I brought my feet up to protect my stomach, thankful that I wore a big shirt. I didn't want this crazy person knowing I was pregnant. Then I started to think about all the things that I hadn't done yet. My parents didn't even know I was having their grandchild yet. I wanted to wait a little longer to tell them.

Please, God, don't have me die like this. Not yet.

"No one make a sound," the man said harshly.

A group of older ladies kept on whispering to each other and huddled together.

"I said, no talking!" The guy with the gun ran over and pulled one of them away, dragging her across the tiled floor. She screamed for him to let her go, but he didn't and threw her down an aisle where another man with a firearm was waiting to take her. She disappeared after that.

"If I hear another word out of any of you, I'll kill you." He came back over to us. His hands were still shaking, making the gun rattle as well. There was nothing worse than a guy who can't hold a gun straight. That makes it infinitely more dangerous. His voice was strong, but falsely so. He didn't have any confidence, and I guessed he was some kind of lackey to his stupid friends.

"What are you going to do to us?" the boy next to me asked him boldly. "When can we leave?"

"Not for a long time, kid. You all just became ransom. I'm sorry." His eyes looked like he was really trying to apologize, but the gun in his hand said otherwise. "All you can do now is sit and wait." He pointed the gun straight at me, daring anyone to say anything.

I was now very, very, very scared.

[shiihime-blog]

Her Thanks;

Alright so this was actually on here like two fucking years ago but, I removed it because I was planning on making a blog solely for writing. Clearly, it took me two years to do that.. oops! Anyhow, here is a re-upload of a two year old fanfiction lol.

Pairing: Kacchako/Bakuraka - Bakugou and Uraraka

Rating: T because Bakugou has a foul mouth

Summary: This year, Bakugou gets a Valentine’s gift he doesn’t actually throw away.

Love is in the air..

..or at least spreading among the students of Class 1-A like a hormone induced virus that feeds off of the unsuspecting urges from young underdeveloped teens.

And for Bakugou Katsuki, Valentine's Day only existed as an idea until he entered grade school and the nauseating truth of the "Day of Love" became apparent. His mother had been quite shocked and predictably disappointed upon the realization that her son had called a young girl a list of rudimentary names due to the fact she had gifted him a small bag of heart shaped treats. It was only later he found out that it indeed was not a random, undermining act of kindness and girls were supposed to give out sweet candies to those they favored on Valentine's Day. Still pissed him off just thinking about a girl believing that he really needed her attention. He was fine alone.

Ever since that day, he only ever received a small box of assorted chocolates with a little note that read "Happy Valentine's Day! Please be a gentleman today. Please. Love you! -Mom". It always ended up in the garbage anyway, but the motherly sentiment was there even though she should know that chocolate just was not his cup of tea and nor were pleading requests specifically meant to order him to act in a certain way.

He hardly cared anyway. Valentine's Day was a nauseating concept that only got more nauseating as he grew older and his peers grew even more curious about the opposite sex. Small, meaningless candies evolved into heart shaped boxes full of flavored condoms and gourmet chocolates. Instead of just joining each other for a play date they joined each other for a heated evening in an old, dusty hotel. Bakugou really didn't pay much attention to it. To him, it was just an ordinary day that was just slightly more irritating than the rest.

So as the explosive male stared across the room, or rather glared across the room at the shitty little Deku with piles of lovely boxes atop his desk, he couldn't help but wonder why it irked him in the first place. He could only blame it on his pride, the fact that the flimsy little shit was able to score just about every female's attention in the classroom while the closest he got to interacting with one of the girl's from his class was when he beat the shit out of Uraraka back when the Sport's Festival took place. And speaking of the gravity girl..

"I-I actually made this for you!" She blurted loud enough for the entire class to hear, her eyes burning with that same determination she had when he had faced her back then. It was hardly a suitable expression for the situation, but then again Uraraka was a bundle of odd characteristics that made her unpredictable and different. Bakugou scoffed at his thoughts, slightly perplexed at the little spark of excitement that ignited within his chest at witnessing that same look that had excited him the first time. He decided that it was heavily due to the fact that her look was just a reminder of an exhilarating battle rather than a silly concept such as "feelings".

Deku reacted as typical shitty Deku would react to such a thing: spluttered nonsense, flailed his hands around a bit like a timid school girl, then finally accepted it with a quiet "thank you". And yet that apparently was the reaction she had wanted, because she threw her arms around him and gave him an enthusiastic thanks even though she was the one giving him the gift in the first place. He rolled his eyes, mumbling a slur of curses that could be clearly heard by anyone sitting in his vicinity. And no one commented, because Bakugou Katsuki cursing was no special surprise to anyone in the room.

When Aizawa finally entered, everyone scattered back to their seats like cockroaches, settling in their seats with heated cheeks and twinkling eyes. A lighthearted atmoshpere became apparent, making the blonde slightly sick to his stomach because for one thing it smelt of chocolate and he could practically smell the raging pheromones. And suddenly, among other particularly annoying things, a faint snicker became audible near him, "Guess you'll be unlucky tonight.."

"I will fucking end you."

By the time class was over, everyone was rushing out of the classroom with plans for the evening already confirmed and partners already hand in hand. Even the less unfortunate organized events involving sappy romance movies and booze to accommodate the lack of a date for apparently the "most important day of the year". Bakugou could only snarl at the sickening sight, deciding to exit the scene as quickly as possible so as to avoid witnessing another second of gushing teens. Though as he rose begrudgingly from his seat, a heavy hand was quick to hold him into his place.

"Dude! I didn't get anything either! We should totally hit the town and pick up some girls!"

Bakugou swatted his hand away, not even having to look to know that it was Kirishima, "Touch me again and I'll fucking kill you." He retorted, practically boring holes into his head with his glare, "And I'm not going anywhere with you to do any of that dumb shit. I have better things to do." Kirishima whined at that, attempting to persuade his sort of "friend" to join him once again, "Come on man! You don't want to be alone on Valentine's Day! At least come on out and have some fun!"

"Fuck off. I've been alone every Valentine's Day and I've been just fucking fine." He shot him one last glare before slinging his bag over his shoulder and turning to leave. At that point, Kirishima decided to play it safe and lay off. He had a pretty good grasp on how far Bakugou could be pushed (not very far), so this was the fine line that he knew not to cross.

He threw his hands up defensively, "Alright, suit yourself. If you change your mind give me call though." With that, he took his leave, leaving Bakugou alone in the classroom, and slightly more angry than before. The blonde grunted an irritated reply even though the redhead had already left, and as he started toward the door, he was only stopped yet again by a light tap on his shoulder. He turned, irritated by the fact that he had been interrupted once again.

It surprised him to see Uraraka, staring up at him with those big doll eyes and that big dopey smile, "What the hell do you want?" He spit out venomously, although it actually didn't come out just as menacing as he had intended it too.

She laughed, a sound that resonated in his ears like Christmas bells, "It's Valentine's Day Bakugou-kun! I don't want anything!" She reached into her bag, that same smile still plastered on her face, "Well, I guess I do want something.." Her small hands then retrieved a small box from her bag, the weightless female presenting him a small, heart-shaped box, "I want to give you this. They're homemade! I made everyone from Class 1-A a box of my own special chocolates!" She huffed determinedly, brows knitting together in a manner that would have normally been serious had it not been plastered on the features of a girl with the looks of a twelve year old, "I'm calling them Uraraka's Super Special Deluxe Chocolates!"

It was terrible, and it earned a glower from the latter that only made the girl laugh even more, even if it was marginally more nervous than before, "Kidding! But they are homemade and they are for you!" Bakugou hesitated before slowly taking the box from her. His frown never faltered, nor did her gleaming grin. She was blinding, and for that he could barely tear his gaze off of her.

"I hate chocolate." He suddenly said, thinking back to that little box resting in the bottom of his garbage can back at home. This earned a gasp from the girl, a stroke of disbelief striking her features, "What?! No way!" Quickly, she took it back from him, apologizing in the process. This startled him, the boy hardly expecting her to snatch it back.

"Hey, what the hell?!" He snapped as he watched her move to place the box back in her bag. She brought her actions to a halt at that, looking back up at him curiously, "But you said-" He snatched the box back, "I never said I didn't fucking want it." He retorted and preceded to examine it. It was delicately wrapped, pretty and pink. Clearly she had put some work even into the packaging. His eyes narrowed, but he said nothing and her bravado from before vanished then, the girl suddenly appearing as if she was under a spotlight.

"U-Uhm.. well.." She looked away, appearing uncomfortable all of a sudden, "..Thank you." She finally mumbled, a small smile forming on her lips. This threw him off for a moment, his eyes widening at her unnecessary thankfulness. It confused him, but he tried not to let it show for too long that she was able to break down his guard with simple, quiet words, "For fucking what? Telling you I hate chocolate?" Her bubbly personality from before returned, a titter filling the air, "No, for accepting it anyway so you wouldn't hurt my feelings." She tucked a hair behind her ear, meeting his gaze with a dazzling expression of gratitude and merriment, "You're not so mean after all, Kaachan." And with that, she darted for the door just as he opened his mouth to unleash the stream of curses at the successful attempt to grate his nerves.

When he finally settled, the blonde carefully opened the box to reveal its contents. It definitely didn't resemble the factory made chocolates his mother had given him that very morning. The smell was the same, but he expected nothing less. He chose the one in the middle, that one appearing different from the rest since it was white chocolate.

Popping it in his mouth and giving it a hesitant chew, he decided that maybe chocolate wasn't so bad after all.