#in my defense actuallt

[moominpopzz]

Oversleep so much this shit got me sleepy

[chaosandthe-deadblog]

yall i am so sorry if i fuck up any medical thing related to maria in this fic in my defense its hard to be accurate when her illness has little to no specifications on how it actuallt affects her

[sereniv]

what i love is when ive told them and they straight up say "no its not. it has multiple definitions"

like i understand the confusion but nonits not gatekeeping or anything to say that the ORIGINAL COINED DEFINITION FROM THE 40S

Is the one definition

like how do you convince someone that theres one definition (which boils down to doing the best you personally can do, which includes everyone like it is such an easy concept) that its NOT a diet, and that people who are on plant based diets arent inherently vegan

its like they get offended. either if they are s PBD themselves, or on behalf of PBD's

Like im not even saying its bad to be a non vegan. Bc i honestly dont care about what is "bad" and what isnt

All im saying is by definition. Some definitions DONT change, or cant be changed

Veganism is avoiding animal exploitation as far as is possible and practical, through food, entertainment, or clothing. Thats it. all that means is, you look at your situation. You ask yourself "can i do more? can i do differently?" if the answer is yes, you try. If you fail, you try again but not at the expense of your wellbeing because then it woulsnt be possible or practical

if the answer is no, same deal. you every so often ask your self, and the answer could always be no and thats fine

because we are all different.

But thats not good enough for them?? Veganism HAS to include dieters because diets are easy to target and is flawed. Diets are problematic and judgmental

It HAS to include anyone who falls outside the definition, because the definition of veganism is SO EASY and SO VAST of a concept

that literally everyone CAN be vegan, just not everyone will

And if everyone can be vegan, even those who dont change a single thing they are doing right now, it means that you actuallt have to ask yourself if youre doing your best

and these people arent. like why else would they fight so hard??

Either fight so hard to call themsleves vegan or to defend others right to call themselves vegan.

Also why cant you just lie? Peope i come across could literally lie to me, and say "oh i guess imm vegan because i am doing the most i can do"

all it comes off as is defensive because they feel guilty about not actually trying

and when i say trying i mean it extremely loosely

I think people dont even understand what 'your best' even means.

Your best can be what youre already doing. your best could be cutting out chicken one day out of the year

your best can be "im overwhelmed and need time to get myself ready, regardless of help and guidance"

It is the easiest thing you can do

and i get it. because i still feel guilty about not sticking with buying fair trade chocolate. but even so, i put the change i want aside and give myself time to plan. to be emotionally ready as silly as it sounds

and thats it like its okay if it seems ridiculous. I felt guilty about using so many plastic bottles- why couldnt i just buy a reusable one. But it just 'wasnt the right time' in my adhd head. So i allowed myself to just relax. That im doing my best, its okay to be wasteful its ok to be destructive. Because literally the only option i can manage is to dehydrate myself

And eventually, now i have a reusable and havnt bought water bottles in a year or so

Thats what doing my best looks like. Is not doing anything sometimes

Its so frustrating.

Like even when i first went vegan i technically wasnt vegan because i judged people who would fall under 'not possible or practical'. because i didnt fully understand the definition. i judged slaughterhouse workers and fast food workers. who have no choice. choice which also has a wide definition

AUGHH like

seriously if you feel guilty that you arent doing your best, but you are overwhelmed or scared to make changes 1. ask for help and guidance and say what you need from that help and guidance (aka. i need suggestions but no push) 2 rethink how you define 'your best' If no matter what you do, you are overwhlemed, constantly guilty with no change, stuck, etc. Then maybe thats a sign you are doing your best, and cant do anything else right now. Keyword right now. That is when you tell yourself its okay, and you allow yourself to do things that you might not agree with

Because there IS no ethical consumption under capitalism, even ethical consumption. we all do what we can do, and we fill in the rest with education. thats it.

me, able to hold a plant based diet is what im able to do and its never going to be enough. thats okay.

me consuming something non vegan like medication is okay. its just. because i require it

we, as humans belong here, you as a person belong here. Dont beat yourself up for what you need and can't do, it does nothing for anyone

But do check in every once and a while with yourself. be gentle about it. be kind. No nrrd to point a finger

Which is ehy i say, have fun with it. Explore different foods if you can get excited about alternatives. taste test bad after bad taste and have fun tweaking until it taste good

Anyway yeah. Theres one core definition of Veganism (Vegan Society version), but i personally like to tack on to possible and practical with "and nescessary' (which is defined by the individual) to include PERSONAL religion and culture. this is too long already so ask if you dont know what that is

But thats just clarification

anyway yeah

The sheer number of non-vegans who feel qualified to explain what veganism is on behalf of a community they don’t belong to…

[invokeinspiration]

Personal Development Projects

I am really excited about the progress I am making with my personal development projects. I’m definitely not where I want to be with everything but I wanted to share some of the things that I am working on. The list below isn’t in any particular order, just what popped into my mind as I started writing. I hope that talking about my own personal goals inspires others to make progress on their own personal goals, too. I want to hear about what projects you all are working on during COVIDwhere we are spending more time at home. 

1. Vegan Diet and Intermittent Fasting

I have recently finished a 14 day water fast (lemon and fruit infused water, tea with lemon, and vegan broth). I noticed a lot of changes happen to my body. After the fast, I had some acne purging that pulled out a huge bacterial breakout and now my skin is clearing up. I have been struggling with some low energy and am adjusting to manage it.I was happy to notice that I have lost a lot of weight. I want to lose more and get my way down to 130 pounds, but it’s a work in progress. I have noticed a positive difference in my weight, but I want to keep going. The week after I finished the fast, I moved into intermittent fasting (IF). I wanted to do one week of one meal a day (OMAD), or 20:4 IF, but could only do about five days of that instead of seven days. I had a couple of days where I had my one meal plus one snack or a cup of coffee with cream. Today, am moving up my eating window to 2pm - 8pm, which is 16:8 IF. I want to stay here for now. There are a lot of IF types and I want to see which one is right for me, considering my hunger levels, energy levels, weight loss, etc.

I’ve also been eating 100% vegan and intend on continuing that going forward. I want to be more aware of the foods that I am putting in my body as well as the portion sizes I am eating. I am cutting out excess sweets, artificial sugars, processed foods, and excess simple carbs. I am definitely not exactly where I want to be in this area. I am listening to my body and doing a lot of research to make sure that I am doing the most for my health. 

2. Exercising with Yoga and Martial Arts

I love yoga and I have been practicing now for many years. Recently, I have gotten out of practice, but with more time at home, I have been pulling out my yoga mat more often. I want to continue strength training and flexibility. I have also wanted to extend my exercise regime to include some self-defense stances and drills. I want to get better at this once I have a better handle on my diet. I’d like to cut a lot of fat, initially, and then build muscle. 

3. Creative Writing

I think that watching Hannibal was the best thing to happen to me during COVID. It has prompted so much inspiration for creative writing. I have gotten so much great advice from my Pinterest feed about creative writing that it has inspired me to continue and pursue new stories. I love fanfiction writing, but I want to expand to my own personal stories, as well as continue my blog writing.

I also want to pursue a freelance writing business if my diplomatic goals don’t pan out this year. I just want to write. I can’t explain the pure freedom and energy I get when I write. 

4. Spanish and other language studies

I’ve recently started using DuoLingo and it’s getting my brain back into studying languages, but I usually feel pretty bored after I’ve spent too much time on one language. I need to get over that if I am going to work in diplomacy. I have spent over four years in Spanish and am still not native fluent, mostly because I am not in an environment where I speak it regularly. It’s okay, though, I am persevering with Spanish before I move on to Russian or German, I am not sure what I’ll study next. German has been a long-time interest of mine, so I think I’ll do that just because I think the passion is really there. I just think Russian is cool and more desirable for the State Department.

5. GRE and FSOT Studying

I have to take the GRE at the end of next month and I am still worried. I am studying on average about three hours a day to get through my study books and actuallt retain to see improvements. I am still feeling held back somehow. I wish I had a tutor because I just need someone to tell me that I’m making progress or not. It’s quite difficult and stressful, but even on days that I don’t have the motivation, I still try to crack open the books. 

At the beginning of this year, I was sure that I was going to take the FSOT, but after trying to manage the GRE and my fellowship applications plus the grad school applications due in the fall, I think it’s best if I take the FSOT in February. I just want to give myself enough time to properly study and figure out what I am going to do next. It has been pretty hard trying to cope with the idea of failure in my head, but I am realizing that it’s going to be great. Even if I fail, I will find something to work with that will still allow me to be happy. It’s not the job title that brings happiness, I am realizing. 

6. Keeping up with politics

This has been a lot easier to do, recently. Every day when my mom comes home from work, we watch a bit of CNN so that I can get updated on the elections. I also listen to the Economist radio, BBC online news, WSJ, the NYT, Vox and Jonathan Van Ness’ show just to stay well-rounded. I try to stay updated on as much as I can that’s going on with the world, but I guess my feed is still pretty liberal. Twitter and YouTube help by providing some commentary on it all and just listening to what my mom hears from her coworkers or my family now that they’re back at work and listening to people talk. I also listen to a bit of Ben Shapiro just to get some conservative commentary in my feed for fun. 

7. Improving familial relationships

This has been a good one for me. I really pride myself on travelling and living in new places every year, but this year has really reminded me that there’s no place like home. Mya, Lorelai, and Evangeline are getting more used to me and I really like that. I’m feeling more like a titi and not a stranger. Those kids really love me and I want to do better showing them love, too. I bought some gifts for their birthdays this year, but kids are hard. I get frustrated when they’re not appreciative, even though I know they’re kids. It’s just getting used to them is all. 

I’ve also gotten more used to my sisters that I used to always feel have big personalities, but really they are just imperfect people. Lydia can come off a bit brash and Daphnie gets a little loud when she’s opinionated but it’s just how they are. I have my moments, too. We all do. We are all unique, problematic, people. That’s life. It’s nice to know it’s not all as much of a big deal as I used to make it out to be. I think my temperamental nature has really tamed since coming back from Botswana. COVID has really taught me to just go with the flow: when it comes to family matters, career matters, and health matters. It’s not a big deal.

8. Reading

This has been a hard one for me, but I am trying. I wanted to get rid of all my paper and hard back books and just stick to my Kindle. I finished Memoirs of a Geisha and that was good. It took me a while, though. I want to read Gone Girl, next, but I feel I have too many distractions right now. Once I get some projects out of the way, I’ll return to more reading. I also want to start reading more screenplays because I want to learn how to write good screenplays and maybe try my hand at that someday.

9. Self-care

I have had my bit of fun with this one. I died my hair platinum blonde, which has taken over a month to finally get to the color I want. It’s still not the icy white that I want, but I’ll get there. I like the shade it is right now, so I need to give it some time to heal back up. 

I’ve also been trying to take good care of my skin and keeping makeup to a minimum. However, I have taken pretty good care of my appearance recently and it’s really boosted my confidence. I used to go a few weeks without shaving, but now I shave every few days and I have just accepted that I prefer doing that. I paint my nails semi-regularly. I have invested in some aromatherapy lotions and perfumes and I love it. It’s a nice way to spoil myself at the end of the night. I don’t believe that self-care has to be expensive. I did buy new shoes, but I got them on a killer deal. Self-care is about the whole picture. It includes meditation, drinking water, getting enough rest, etc. I want to improve confidence, and that has a lot to do with my first two projects: diet and exercise. The other stuff is just extra but it can give me that bit of “umph” to feel a lot better about myself and get into the habit of using more positive self-talk.

10. Budgeting

This one hasn’t been easy, but now that I have started a new job, I want to get back into budgeting. I don’t have much of an income, but I want to keep track and plan for more expensive things. I am planning on going to Universal Studios and I would like to get something nice for myself. I want to plan accordingly. It’s important that I plan ahead, too. I want to relocate to Washington, D.C. and the only way to really do it without stressing for the first three months is have enough money to get there and settled before I get there. It means I need to avoid big expenses and when I do have expenses, be extremely mindful and monitor what I am spending my money on and adjust where necessary. 

Conclusion

It’s all in progress. Nothing is exactly where I want it to be. I still have the daily struggles that I am not doing enough, but sometimes I just feel like that regardless of how hard I am working. More than anything, focusing on my overall well-being and happiness is the most important. If you’ve ever heard of “Level 10 Life”, this is kind of where I am going with that. Every month, I determine on a scale of 1 to 10 where I feel I am in these categories and in the areas that are the lowest, I try to fill those gaps and adjust to make improvements. If you’re interested, check it out here and let me know what you’re goals are!

[qrow-branwen-rp]

He’s still hunched over when she asks him about the security and he just barely manages to bite back a laugh. “Yeah it’s something straight out of a spy movie.” He actuallt thought it was kinda cool, but Oz thought it was the greatest thing he’s ever done. He was completely serious about this being the official defenses systems for his office. He looked like a kid that got to have a roller coaster in his backyard.

He decides that mows the time to try and stand up straight and prepares himself for the pain. He slowly straightens back and quietly groans as the ache slowly alleviates. “Ah, my back.” As soon as the words come out of his mouth he freezes and gives his double and then the camera a look. “Not one word.” He knows it made him sound old and he doesn’t need to hear the phrase Grandpa Qrow for at least forty years.

With his warning delivered, he’s not gonna hear the end of it, he goes back to stretching. He moves his arms in circles and makes sure his legs support his wait. “By the way, thanks for the help.” He seems to be fine so he offers his double a hand hopefully she’s light enough where they won’t both tumble over in his weakened state.

Skirt? What’s wrong with a skirt? But than again he was a guy so maybe that had to do with it but than again she did recall betting tai to get in a dress after the whole short shorts and baggy clothes debacle so maybe one of those?

“Ah…” She would have continued had he not remind her of the cameras. “Oh, right.” She looked over to the male and rolled over pushing herself up on needing a moment for her head to stop spinning.

“As foolish as it is, I almost forgot about his movie set up spy hook up.” She gave a weak chuckle recalling the whole set up and honestly she wonder if oz went and watched a movie one day and was like: ‘ah yes that is what I want for me super secret office for all my super secret saving the world plains.’ Though it would explain many things never had anyone to talk about it cause it was meant to be a secret and no one was meant to know.

“For as useful as it is, am I the only one who thinks it’s really cheesy?” honestly it was both lame and rather cute to see Ozpin so proud of the set up, like it was the greatest thing in the world. But even with how cheesy it was, which she told him as such. Qrow couldn’t help but like humoring him just so he could keep smiling if only rarely.