#in fact my goal is to get myself to bed at like 12am so I can be better prepared for my 8am next term

[g0nta-g0kuhara]

I know I HAVE to go to bed but what if i just draw forever

[realcube]

waking up the hq boys at midnight to get ice-cream hcs🍦

characters: tsukishima, tanaka, nishinoya, ushijima, sugawara,  oikawa,  kageyama 

note: yes, this was very much inspired by that one tiktok sound where the girl wakes up her bf to get ice-cream- 

also, i use midnight as like..the middle of the night- not actaully 12AM lol

tw// fluff, sangwoo- 

Tsukishima Kei

you did not need to wake him up at 1AM to get ice-cream

man was already up, having just came off his phone and laying like this 😐 in bed as he either waited for himself to fall asleep or was thinking about an awkward interaction he had earlier that day 

anyway, as soon as you turned to him like ‘tsukki, do you wanna come with me to get ice-cream?’

he was suddenly 😴 fast asleep, fake snores and all

you were stubborn though, so you hopped out of bed up to go get ice-cream by yourself if he was just going to ignore you 

although, once you threw your coat on, tsukishima decided to start questioning your unusual behaviour, ‘why do you want ice-cream? it’s night; can’t you just sleep like a normal person and have ice-cream in the morning?’ 

honestly, tsukishima probably finds your nightly antics more endearing and cute rather than annoying 

he’d never admit it though- 

if you talk to him after midnight, on the outside he always looks displeased but really, he loves talking to you period

whether it is at 5PM or 1AM

you shrugged, without an explanation for your craving, ‘i don’t need to reason my midnight urges to you.’

with that, you turned on your heels to head out the door with the full intention of going to get ice-cream - this wasn’t a game 

tsukishima groaned as he finally deduced that you were being dead serious and not just doing this to irritate him

‘ugh, wait.’ he scoffed, forcing himself out of bed to follow you, ‘we have ice-cream downstairs, dumb-ass. don’t bother going out.’ 

you didn’t spare him a glance, continuing to venture to the front door, ‘yeah, but we don’t have strawberry.’ 

tsukishima glared at you, realising that persuasion would not work in this situation so he’d have to resort to brute force and trickery

‘ah, alright.’ he let out a sigh of defeat, ‘at least give us a hug before you go then.’

you paid no mind to how he referred to himself as plural, which is something he only does when he is lying or guilty as he is talking on behalf of his two faces 

also, you should’ve realised something was up when he actually asked for a hug instead of just expecting you to give him one

obliging, you wrapped him in a hug; allowing him to scoop you up into his arms, throw you over his shoulder and carry you to the kitchen

���let me go, you whore!’  you squealed, lightly slapping his back as if that’d make him let you go 

tsukishima snickered at how childish you were being, ‘you can’t go out in the middle of the night to get ice-cream. you’ll die.’ 

‘i won’t die!’

‘you definitely will.’

anyway, he ends up making you both a bowl of ice-cream and eating it with you at the kitchen table while watching Spirited Away

and despite the fact he had some too, he’ll tease you about this for..the rest of your life 

like sometimes he’ll just wake you up in the middle of the night (during holidays ofc - he respects your sleep schedule) and whisper in your ear, ‘(y/n), do you wanna come get ice-cream with me?’

Tanaka Ryūnosuke

IORFHIEBGEGBO THIS MAN

ik most ppl would think he’d just go with you without a second thought or that he’d be the one asking you to go out for ice-cream but- no- 

well, yes; he wants to 

but when you wake him at 1AM 

(which he doesn’t mind btw bc  sometimes he accidentally wakes you up at like 3AM bc he’s ragin’ on Battlefield oop-)

and you’re all like ‘ryū, wanna go get ice-cream?’ *puppy eyes*

he’s like ‘sure!- but i ain’t got money so- no ❤’ 

then he goes back to sleep 

however, if you say that you’ll pay..he’s already standing with your bags by the door

so you’re definitely gonna have to fork up some cash for that good quality pistachio gelato for him if you want his presence 😌

but tbh, if you said that you were just gonna pay for yourself, he’d come anyway-

Nishinoya Yū

y’all go out at midnight for ice-cream at least once a week-

and it literally began bc you were watching ASMRs and Mukbangs together at 1AM during a sleepover 

and one person was having some lemon gelato and it looked 👌✨ immaculate

in that moment, you both looked at each other and neither of you had to utter a single word for you both to know that there was a mutual goal in mind; to get ice-cream, ASAP

so yeah ig you didn’t have to wake him up but you did need to awake the desire for ice-cream inside him

needless to say, y’all ran to the nearest ice-cream place 

and you made a race out of it 

(you won, ofc)

AND YOU BOTH SHARED A CUP OF GELATO AND IT WAS SO CUTE ! q(≧▽≦q)

and y’know the trope where you have food on the corner of your lip/chin etc and the person kisses you to get rid of it? 

yeah he tried to do that with the trope in mind but he deadass LICKED you IWFBVBBFRI

he was like ‘omg (y/n), lemme get that for you’ 😋👅

honestly, ig it depends if you are into that kinda stuff but ik some ppl would leave fast af ( ﾟдﾟ)つ Bye

Ushijima Wakatoshi

sorry i might have a bit of favouritism going on but i feel like ushijima would be a bigger bitch about it than tsukishima (at first)

but it’s like- solely bc you woke him up y’know?

‘ushijima, wanna go get ice-cream?’

he’s just laying there with his bed-head like :/

silently livid bc you messed up his potential 9 hours of sleep

‘no.’

pester all you want but that is the best you’re getting out of him that night

HOWEVER, the following afternoon (after practise ofc), he took you out for ice-cream 😊

and unlike some would believe (by ‘some’, i mean myself 2 secs ago.) i don’t think he’d be all ‘ice-cream is horrible for your health, (y/n)’ or ‘i can’t believe you’re eating that filth. your body is a temple.’

but that rather he’d just happily eat gelato with you; everything in moderation ig :)

OH AND HE’D PURPOSELLY BUY A DIFFERENT FLAVOUR FROM YOU SO HE COULD BE LIKE

‘(y/n), do you want a bite of mine?’ and give you a spoonful to try like the romance king he is  

Oikawa Tōru

you wouldn’t wake him up bc mf needs his beauty sleep

plus, it was during a sleepover at your house so ofc you didn’t want to wake up your guest 

but he’s a light sleeper so when you’re shuffling through your stuff at 1AM, sneaking around the house to find a jacket (trying to be as quiet as possible so you don’t wake him up); his eyes are open and he’s speculating that sangwoo is near

until he turns around to notice that you’re not laying next to him and he is in fact being spooned by a large pillow (probably a sangwoo body pillow smh)

after that, he hops to his feet and storms through the house in search of you so he can yell at you for ruining his sleep grr

however, once he finds you and realises that you look ready to head out, he feels inclined to firstly ask, ‘where are you going? you know it’s 2AM, right?’ 

you replied by explaining your plan to sneak out for ice-cream and he just stared at you, absolutely bewildered for a few moments

he stood like a statue with that stupid expression on his face for ages so you asked him if he was alright, to which he responded, ‘that’s such a stupid idea.’

‘so, you’re not coming with?’

‘of course i am.’

so you both ended up sitting with your ice-cream cones, in your pyjamas, on a park bench somewhere, admiring the moonlit sky along with the stars adorning it

oh, and that was actually the first time he said ‘i love you.’

Sugawara Kōshi

if feel like suga would be exactly like the guy in the sound/video: confused, tired and extremely reluctant but ofc inevitably he ends up standing outside of a dessert place, hand-in-hand with you

he’d wake up, weary from fatigue and he barely has the strength to argue with you during the day - so how exactly was he supposed to do it in the middle of the night? 

thus, he lugged himself out of bed and threw on a coat but as soon as the cold winter air bit at his nose, he was flooded with the energy and will-power to try convince you stay in with him

(It’s his parental senses) 

‘you’ll catch a cold, darling!’ (yes, he does call you that.) ‘and it’s night too, there’s probably a bunch of creeps out and around!’

at that point, it was just a battle of will

bc you both had each other’s wishes at heart

you wanted him to have peace of mind and he wanted you to have ice-cream

(and he was kinda craving some himself tbh)

so you both decided to stay in, tucking into the half-eaten tubs of Ben & Jerry’s in the fridge 

and after that, neither of you got any sleep bc you both stayed up watching movies and cuddling 🥺

Kageyama Tobio

he was wide awake at 2AM, laying beside you on the bed, practising sets 

so ofc the time wasn’t an issue

but kageyama wasn’t big on sweet treats so when you suggested that y’all should go out for ice-cream, you were shocked - to say the least - when he simply replied 

‘sure’

like why would he oppose? he was already awake. plus, he was kinda craving something sweet tbh

also, he could tell it’d make you happy and he’s whipped tbh

so you took advantage of this indifferency by immediately jolting up and dragging him to your favourite dessert place

the whole time, he acted as usual - it was as if he was just on a regular walk to school

when you got there, you both shared a sundae and he paid; what a king (❤´艸｀❤)

(it was bc you had forgotten your wallet/purse at home- but still a kind gesture 💕)

you both just sat in a booth, pecking away at the sundae while talking about anything and everything that came to mind as the low, distant R&B music from the shop’s speakers played in the background

 ‘it is flat. have you ever been on a plane before, (y/n)? did you see a single curve? no.’

you rolled your eyes, finding it physically painful how stupid kagyeama could be sometimes, ‘it’s science, kags. the earth is round! the curves are just very subtle.’

‘no.’

‘YOU CAN’T SAY NO! IT’S SCIENCE!’ 

[betterlovers]

Your turn, drop and give me 1-99

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?Well they’d have to be probably…Between The Mountain And The Sea by Senses FailI Am Hated by SlipknotToo Dumb To Die by Green DayDecayin’ With The Boys by Every Time I DieYou’re Crazy by Guns N’ RosesAnd…Idk maybe Bonecrusher also by Senses Fail2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?Assuming I can only choose one single person and they have to be alive… Corey Taylor. Sorry but… Corey, ya know?3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.Page 23 doesn’t have a line 17 but page 22, line 17 is “ ”. Cause there’s also no book4: What do you think about most?How much longer I can lay in bed without being late for work probably5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?“Please don’t speed up” I’m assuming she meant speed, not actually speed up cause you kinda hafta when driving6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?With, but if I had my way it’d be without a with a certain someone as well ;)7: What’s your strangest talent?My ability to not crash my car no matter what stupid shit I’m doing whole driving8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)Girls are chill; Boys ain’t got no chill9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?Yeah but it was very super vague and indirect (not) back when I was starting a band with my ex girlfriend10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?Fam you caught right in the middle of playing air guitar11: Do you have any strange phobias?Nah. A fear of spiders but that ain’t weird. They’re fucking scary.12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?If someone ever says they never stuck straws up their nose and pretended to be a walrus they’re lying. So yes. Definitely.13: What’s your religion?None. Basically agnostic. Like if you got real hard evidence I’ll believe it but as far I know there ain’t nothing but here and now so I gotta live my life the best I can and not concern myself with pseudo-moral dilemmas created by a system designed to control the masses14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?Walking in the woods being edgy, running on fallen trees, stuff related to the woods15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?In front. Cause that means I ain’t gotta worry about making me look the good, the photographer does16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?Fucking Slipknot. Followed by Senses Fail, Green Day, and Every Time I Die17: What was the last lie you told?…that I wouldn’t speed18: Do you believe in karma?I believe that if it does exist it sucks at being consistent.19: What does your URL mean?Got a death wish. Ain’t, well wasn’t, too keen on living but wasn’t super actively going for dying either. Just wished I was dead and wasn’t avoiding dangerous shit. Ya dig?20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?My inability to trust people. For both.21: Who is your celebrity crush?Corey MotherFucking Taylor22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?Nah. But I’m down for it23: How do you vent your anger?Blasting my music as loud as it doesn’t hurt and then some24: Do you have a collection of anything?Yeah CDs and Vinyl records. Currently working on expanding them25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?Ooh… um. Idk. Neither tbh. I guess phone if I had to pick26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?I’m moderately happy with the way my face has become. That’s about it27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?Generic metalcore. Sound I love: actual quality screams in music28: What’s your biggest “what if”?What if I never make it in life?29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?Mmm idk and yes. There’s no way to not believe in aliens30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.The wall. And the windows with the left31: Smell the air. What do you smell?I smell.. nothing. My nose doesn’t really work like ever.32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?Fucking Canada...kidding. idk no where’s been THAT bad. Maybe my old job33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?…is that even a question? Look at my description for the blog. Says it all34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?…umm… only one I can think of right now is Lena Scissorhands35: To you, what is the meaning of life?For one to protect themselves and theirs36: Define Art.It’s very… artistic37: Do you believe in luck?I mean yeah. I consider myself very lucky. I get away with a lotta bullshit38: What’s the weather like right now?A bit chilly. But clear skies all around39: What time is it?11:15 PM as of answering this question40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?Yeah I love driving. And… sorta? Let me clarify that it was when I was backing out of the neighborhood parking lot at like 6 AM and I had my music blasting and didn’t hear my neighbor honking the horn at me and I kept backing out and hit them at like… .002 mph41: What was the last book you read?You’re Making Me Hate You by.. Corey Taylor…42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?Call weird or crazy or whatever but yeah. I love it43: Do you have any nicknames?Nah not really no44: What was the last film you saw?I think it was Rogue One. Badass move btw45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?Well once I tripped and fell on my face and chipped my tooth and to this day I have a spiky tooth in the front. I say it’s the worst cause the consequence is still very visible 46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?No. But now I’m gonna47: Do you have any obsessions right now?Me? Nooo never48: What’s your sexual orientation?I have no fucking idea49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?That I was a drug addict or a drug dealer. the latter didn’t stick, seeing as I was not popular in high school50: Do you believe in magic?Not really no51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?Oh absolutely. It can last years and go well beyond a rational grudge.52: What is your astrological sign?Taurus. Stubborn as a bull.53: Do you save money or spend it?If you got money to spare that you ain’t gotta a goal for, spend it. That’s my motto54: What’s the last thing you purchased?Some food for me, my mom, and my stepdad55: Love or lust?Both. At the same time preferably 56: In a relationship?Single and ready to consider mingling until I remember I have 0 social skills whatsoever57: How many relationships have you had?…longer than a few months? Like 3. Less than a few months? …more than 3 but I can remember the exact amount cause if it lasted less than a few months they obviously weren’t very important to me (i say as a way to disguise the fact that I fucked all but my first relationship)58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?No. But neither can you so ha59: Where were you yesterday?At work, at home, and at a restaurant 60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?Surprisingly no61: Are you wearing socks right now?I was just about to take them off but yes I currently am62: What’s your favourite animal?Dogs. Dogs. And dogs.63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?My willingness to pick up the tab or bill 64: Where is your best friend?I dunno 65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.@nicotinecaffeinesugarfix @clientsfromhell @justneckbeardthings @markiplier @old-friends-senior-dog-sanctuary(If you ain’t on here that don’t mean I don’t like ya. Minus the first, these are mostly blogs that make me laugh)66: What is your heritage?PERU PERU PERU67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?Sleeping like a baby with my kids (my dogs) next to me68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?Bacon. Satan Bacon69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?Similar to the one where you asked about sticking shit up noses…70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?The friendly kind71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?Save the dog. I can get another job. That dog can’t get another life72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?A) no. No point in having then worry about the inevitable.B) finally go on that road trip I’ve always wanted to go onC) maybe at first. But again, no point in worrying about the inevitable.73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.Trust. Why have love if you can’t trust each other enough to enjoy it?74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?…even though it’s not supposed to, Decayin’ With The Boys. It’s just such a banger75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?475876: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?Trust. And also attraction and determination77: How can I win your heart?Food. Just lots of food78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?Of course. No guarantee it’ll be understood though79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?None reallt. Maybe leaving my old job. But my decisions are highly impulsive and… not good80: What size shoes do you wear?10.5 to 1181: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?“Follow Your Bliss”82: What is your favourite word?Moist. Partly cause every one hates it. Partly cause it’s fun to say83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.Nah84: What is a saying you say a lot?“Ya know?” “I mean,…”85: What’s the last song you listened to?Step To These by DJ Starscream86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?Black. White. Wine red87: What is your current desktop picture?A wallpaper of the self titled Slipknot album88. (I lost the question but basically I get to pick someone to spontaneously combust)Either Richard Spencer or Donald Trump 89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?“What is wrong with you?”90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?Go back to sleep and hope that if they eat me that it’s quick and painless91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?MotherFucking teleportation92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?The half an hour before I fucked us up.93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?None. They made me me. I don’t want then gone. I just don’t wanna remember them.94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?…again either Corey Taylor or Lena Scissorhands. Although she isn’t really a celebrity…95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?California or Chicago96: Do you have any relatives in jail?I don’t know for sure but I wouldn’t doubt it97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?Nahh just outside of them98: Ever been on a plane?Yeah. Nothing special though 99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?The alt right are nazis and also fuck them and fuck you if you think they’re okay

Jesus christ my arms hurt now. But it’s done

[dreamingincerulean]

I had an unpleasantly passive-aggressive exchange via Facebook Messenger w/ my mom and then later I had a dream she was telling me I had to clean her house, and I was pissed off at her for assuming I was obligated to clean up her mess. I yelled like a foghorn. It was intense. 

In life, I felt the feelings that came (anxiety, sadness, disappointment in myself for feeling possibly overly sensitive to a possibly not-that-bad exchange.) and was polite. There were a few moments where I wanted to stop working for the day and curl up in bed with my dogs and sleep. I did go to sleep at 8pm and woke up at 12am and I’m here now at 3:30am...because of the dream.

It was reminiscent of the feelings that were boiling up in me, back in the summer of 2018 when I visited her and her girlfriend at their house for a week. The Nightmare Days, as I like to think of them. In my health records my therapist said something along the lines of that was when I had a deep and abiding mood disruption or some shit. I forgot the exact wording. It would have slipped down memory lane’s dark closet of other mood disruptions caused by my mom, but this time I had a good therapist on my team. 

In the dream, she was sly and sassy, belligerent and rude. In life, in the facebook messages, she said I could either send her a coloring page, or I could send it to my sister, she wasn’t going to cry. I was just striving to be polite after receiving a coloring page of a penguin for my birthday. And she was trying to tell me she’d send me some blank coloring pages, so I thought “hey I’ll be polite and the least I could do is send her some back in the mail before she leaves for Arkansas again in two months....” but she came back with the “I won’t cry” bit and it set me aback.

 Feelings of confusion and hurt cropped up. Then I dismissed those feelings because it was just a shitty exchange, she was probably trying to play it cool because in my family, people assume I’m very judgmental about what they say. So that just made me feel bad, but the fact was she was probably just feeling kinda awkward. She’d been living in Indiana, an hr away from me, since August and I didn’t once come visit her! She probably took that as me being extremely aloof. But she’s the one with the car. I don’t have one. 

Then she sent me a gif of a pile of cookie dough shaped like an english bulldog and when you play it, someone chops the dough head off. It’s pretty upsetting, but maybe she thought that was funny and since I care for five dogs on a daily basis, maybe she thought I would get a kick out of it.

Hmm....not so much. 

I write this here because I’m just trying to keep some objectivity when it comes to my intense feelings. I did more work, a little bit ago so I don’t feel like the day was a total waste. 

Oh and I finally decided to figure out a budget, and a savings. 

In 10 months or so, i could get a new graphics tablet! I think that will be a fun goal to strive towards. 

Star Trek: Picard was really violent, and I predicted the Big Reveal even because I say the girl in question on the screen. The story felt as far from Star Trek as possible. Loads better than Discovery...but still extremely disappointing. 

[male-emporium]

What My Nightly Routine Should Be vs…What It Really Is

I have a problem. It’s a problem that appears to be repeating itself every night of the week. The problem is that I stay up way past my bedtime. In an ideal world, I would end my night at 10pm, having started winding down sometime around 9pm to drink hot mint tea, with a face mask on, reading a good book. In reality…I do make the tea, I just forget to drink it and by the time I remember I made it, it’s cold. I then chug my lukewarm tea (or toss it), mindlessly watch pointless TV while working and distract myself on Instagram. Somehow, I go to bed around 2am. And every single night, around that time, I ask myself “how did I get here, again?!”

  The vicious cycle of my nightly routine repeats itself over and over again, and each morning, when I wake up groggy (and miss my workout), I vow to go to bed earlier. The problem is though…that our days are full and busy and often times, there’s leftover work that needs to be done. To cope with the fact that I’m still on my computer at 11pm, I turn the tv on to feel like I am “relaxing” at the end of the day, which prolongs my night even more.

  In an effort to try and break my bad nighttime habits, I’m creating a list of goals and self reminders to help me be able to decompress, relax and get a good night’s sleep. After all, how are we suppose to perform our best if we’re not taking care of ourselves? It’s one thing to make a list, but it’s another to actually act on it and put it into motion. Keep reading to see the steps I’m taking to get to bed on time…

    Get my most important work done at the beginning of the day. I believe this is step number one. Because if there’s still deadlines to be met and work that can’t wait, I won’t be able to sleep until it’s done. Hopefully, if there’s work leftover at the end of the workday, it won’t be as pressing and can trickle over to the next day.

Start my routine at least an hour before bed. I’m hoping to use heating up my tea and washing my face as the first steps to trigger my nightly routine. Routines creates consistency and consistency is what I’m looking for.

Put my computer, phone and any technology away during this last hour before bed. I don’t need to take one last scroll through Instagram or watch one more episode of Friends or write one more email. Those all can wait.

Write all my thoughts out in a journal before bed. I usually use the notes section on my phone, but in an effort to put away technology, I’m going to start using an old school pen and paper. Writing down my to-do list always helps me feel less anxious/more prepared for the next day.

Read more. I love reading and I don’t do it enough. I’m hoping that by getting technology out of the picture in my routine, it’ll allow more time for a good book. It’s also always helps me decompress, relax and fall asleep faster.

Breathing exercises or meditating. Being cognizant and mindful of taking time to yourself is important. I always feel like I could be doing more, even when I’m capped out, so I have a hard time not stopping. I want to be okay/not feel guilty about taking an hour to relax before bed.

Don’t just put my phone away, but put it far from the bed. This not only helps get rid of the bad habit of constantly reaching for it, but it also forces me out of bed in the morning when my alarm goes off.

Obviously there’s a lot on this list and if I can start by checking off one or two, I’ll be happy. The goal is to try and just be more aware of the actions and decisions I’m making so that I can be more in control of my routine. But I would love to know- do any of you have tried and true methods that get you to bed on time so you feel fully rested in the morning? I’d love to hear what tips you might have. Good news, it’s only 12am and I’m finishing up..

  (wearing these gingham pajamas)

  The post What My Nightly Routine Should Be vs…What It Really Is appeared first on Gal Meets Glam.

First found here: What My Nightly Routine Should Be vs…What It Really Is

[universatile-girl]

Some things about life

I don't have a particularly interesting lifestyle, and I certainly don't have answers to life's questions. But I pay attention to a lot of things and I think that counts towards some wisdom. I like to analyze my human experience, sometimes a little too much. So I came to the conclusion that we are too quick to pass off others experiences just cause they're not our own. If we can face the reality that we all experience life in a similar way, we might stop disagreeing so frequently and causing large world problems. Fundamentally we are the same, the differences come from how we interpret. So, by one day sharing my life in a much more interesting and stylized way but for now in this post, I am acknowledging my relativity to the next person, and thereafter passing on a sense of harmony and understanding. I like to think that we can all see similarities with each other more easily than we see differences, it just sometimes masks itself in envy or longing. Off we go. I can't decide if all people are slightly anxious by default, or if I feel it more than usual. Either the world is becoming much more anxious with each new generation or we are expressing our paranoiA more or I just have an undiagnosed mental illness. I am strongly suspicious of the latter, but then again so are other people my age. And we'd all like to think we're special. And that's how we're the same. So with this connection in mind, maybe I'll run through some daily thoughts I entertain myself with. It's really difficult to map out a thought process in words but I'll do my best. I wake up some mornings wondering what the hell im doing and where I'm going ultimately, and then quickly my inner compass is realigned and a flush of logical things strike me, and I'm then in a much more stable mindset and able to function like what I'm hoping a normal person looks like. Sometimes you just wake up and for a brief moment everything about you has left and you're standing in an empty white space with no idea what is right wrong, up down, and one by one the relevant things, your core building blocks stack up and reveal that you do in fact have ambitions and desires and feelings and worries. That's the worst part, the worries. I could do without those, but when I think about it I don't even know who I would become without my worries. They more and more seem to make up their very own building block in that empty space. I wake up and I'm most likely tired. It's a rare day that I awaken feeling refreshed and ready to go. But I've been going to work semi easily the past month, and the dread has stayed kind of at bay. Making the decisions to cut my hours was extremely helpful in ways I didn't know were possible. Sometimes making less is worth it when your mood is improved, and once you've gained enough strength you can go back healthy. I'm getting there. Then sometimes my worries get in the way and mess everything up. But I'm trying to look past that. One of the most difficult things about this has been trying to objectively explain my experiences in a way that they might convey even part of the same emotions I have as the narrator. For example at work today I had a casual conversation with my friend in the back about weed. But if I pick apart that sentence I have to reveal all of the thoughts I had about each part. It was casual but it didn't feel casual to me, because I don't know much about the topic and therefore am unsure and insecure of my terminology and common practices. I don't know if she was engaged or pretending, or thinking wow what a loser we have nothing in common, even though I shared my personal experiences. Maybe I came off rushed and uninterested unintentionally. Is she even my friend? I want to believe so, we have a fun at work every time we work together. But is it just a work relationship or could we enjoy each other's company outside of work. Would we? Does she talk about me to other coworkers, I think I must... so those 5 minutes of my day turned into a whirlpool of thoughts and feelings in my head. And this happens with almost every conversation or even interaction with another human being I have, if I have the time to process it. If not I will probably find myself in a similar situation as right now, awake in bed at 12:12am considering every aspect and increasing my heart rate in the process. At times at work I feel really confident in who I am and what I'm doing, and that's cool. I got mad and passively aggressively bitchy at a couple customers today. I didn't really feel sorry, which is unlike me. The environment at work has changed me a bit that way. I can't control it sometimes. But yet as soon as I'm off the clock I revert to same old awkward shy me, and forget I ever become anyone else. I feel like this is strange, and I wonder if others experience this. They must, but why does nobody talk about these things? I had a goal in mind with this while I was in the shower, literally the only time I'm unable to jot down ideas like usual but it has escaped me and my eyes are begging for sleep. If only I could at least make my thoughts poetic so they might be easier to digest. But one day I believe I will, and I'll have novels with characters who express my reflections in the most comprehensive outlets so I need not worry.