#in fact i wish they'd played with that more and put her in a bunch of different ones. esp the more gaudy-looking ones like The Beekeeper

[lobie-the-cartoonist]

my Paige / PH design. wanted to see what "feather hair" would look like on her instead of a wig. 👀

love this steve irwin penguin.

[mixelation]

"I wish you would write a fic where" Karin ends up in the Founders era (location up to you) and causes Problems

"I wish you would write a fic where..."

Okay, bullet point fic:

Karin is like 20-22. slightly matured from canon but still Silly, has confronted the fact that sasuke and her aren't going to happen, and looking for fun new employment opportunities but for now stuck in mom's basement oto

[insert generic jutsu accident for time travel]

karin doesn't know what the fuck is happening but she's 1000% sure there's not a chakra signature she knows and also there's no.... plumbing. is this hell? she hasn't done anything wrong in her LIFE

she goes to bother the uchiha clan because Beautiful Men. duh. also blah blah old school social rules about hospitality mean that big clans will take on unaffiliated wandering-nin. like in an old novel. what the fuck

it HAS occurred to her she could go to uzushio and claim she's a bastard or something and they'd probably take her in-- but that's far away and she'd have to dodge through multiple battle zones and like. what if she took a break and looked at pretty men? there's so many of them. *-*

hashirama and madara are both young sexy new clan leaders and the clans are at a temporary standstill while they try to negotiate an actual peace agreement and also maybe. a union? into a village? where they invite OTHER clans????

madara is experiencing Insane Feelings about hashirama 24/7 which range from "i should put his head on a pike because this is STUPID" to "if only he were a woman and then we could just unify our clans by getting married--"

anyway hashirama announces he's engaged to uzumaki mito and this triggers Extreme Jealousy in Madara except Madara will never admit this but also HE MUST MAKE HASHIRAMA JEALOUS BACK

madara and karin have had like three conversations but she dedicates a lot of time mooning over izuna because Duh. so like. madara's seen her scuttling around, fluttering her eyelashes and just HAPPENING to be there when izuna comes home or comes out of the bathhouse. he knows she's uzumaki because Hair.

anyway madara announces he is now engaged to karin in an insane LOOK I'VE GOT ONE TOO move. no he hasn't talked to anyone about it, least of all karin

(mito: uzumaki w h o m s t?)

all of the uchiha elders are like, "it's not an alliance unless we've actually TALKED TO her family??" and when pressed karin deflects by throwing a fit that she can't be engaged to izuna. it's mostly her playing up dramatics to distract from the fact that she came out of nowhere and no one can vouch for her identity, but also she's like 20% serious. izuna pretty!!!

here i also want to introduce a plot mechanism we'll revisit later, where uchiha engagement rituals involve one or both sides (non-ninja don't have to do this) going out and completing some sort of task to show off their ninja prowess. in peacetimes it's usually like grabbing an object from a difficult location or bringing home a very deadly animal. during wartimes it might be killing an enemy or stealing something from them. the more insane the thing, the more fortuitous it is for the future marriage

madara hasn't ACTUALLY done this because he doesn't ACTUALLY want to marry karin. he gives her something stupid he already has and she's like. kind of annoyed about it. hello if you're forcing her into engagement, at LEAST be romantic about it!!!!

anyway the surprise engagement doesn't phase hashirama and now madara is stuck engaged to someone he doesn't even LIKE and the uzumaki are confused but there's a bunch around for mito's wedding and so they're like "idk who this is but she's obviously one of us" and so madara has created a stupid situation where he'll offend them if he breaks off the engagement but also she's not actually important to them and therefore isn't politically useful??

also. and madara cannot stress this enough. she's horrible. she acts like a ditzy flirt on purpose but then turns around and is MEAN TO HIM and she talks back and stop looking at his brother like that

here is my vision for how they resolve the stupid situation. okay. madara is like "you have to give me a Reason to break up with you" and karin is like "okay but only if you let me marry izuna" and madara goes away and sets several things on fire and then comes back and is like. fine. if you do this, AND you can get izuna to agree, i'll let you marry him.

karin cracks her knuckles and reviews the oto playbook of how to be the most dramatic bitch in the room. it will be really hard to outshine madara, but she was trained by orochimaru himself--

here is the vision. karin, standing on the back of the kyuubi, using her chains like reigns, crashing the hashirama-mito wedding

karin: IS THIS GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOUR STUPID UCHIHA ENGAGEMENT RITUALS???

karin can't actually control the kyuubi with her chains, so all hell breaks loose immediately. madara and hashirama can both individually take the kyuubi so no one actually gets hurt, mito seal it into herself a decade early, etc. overall the senju-uzumaki guests are freaked out but hashirama laughs it off as a weird wedding gift. karin is 100% sure that if madara were like "she's a lunatic, take her back" then the uzumaki clan would accept. maybe she can hitch a ride back to uzushio. she never got izuna to fall madly in love with her but maybe madara will let her take him with her--

unfortunately now the uchiha elders are like. holy shit. you H A V E to marry her now

[masterqwertster]

Ok don’t publish it if you don’t have to but man this weekend is bumming me right out with this “

Yeah, there is certainly some aggression going on against people wishing for resurrection because others find it a poignant narrative that a sacrifice can't be undone, that it lasts and has consequences, that it puts weight to the stakes. And they think that coming back to life after specifically doing something you know will 100% kill you cheapens sacrifice.

Personally, I think that being brought back after you willingly and knowingly and successfully gave your life for others tells a story of how much you're loved. It's your friends saying "Fuck that. You're going to live. We're all going to live. We'll keep dragging each other back until we can't anymore, so fucking be here and fight."

It also adds another level of desperation to be stronger, smarter, to not be caught like that ever again because who knows if you can get them back next time (and however many times you fail after that). Resurrections get harder ever time a person is brought back. This is part of what bit Scanlan's ass right before Bard's Lament: the Revivify didn't take, so the rest of Vox Machina brought in his daughter to call him back during the Resurrection (which he hated) and got the chance to be dicks about bringing him back with the dumb pranks, all of which led to setting Scanlan off. And sure, Bells Hells had that desperation to keep each other alive from the Bassuras fight, but that doesn't mean that the sentiment can't be further sharpened even when you've managed to steal back all the lives of your party members that she took.

Honestly, I think that just having Chet and FCG die against the Murder Machine of Otohan after Bells Hells specifically and successfully went to efforts to get stronger still ups the stakes even if both end up revived. "All our might and we still faced that loss. It would have been all of us if FCG didn't make that play. We still cannot face the enemy leadership head-on as we are. We must get stronger still."

And I really think there's some fun character development to be had in giving FCG a flesh body. Will he actually like what they've envied about the others? How does one handle a completely new body that they're grateful for (that they should be grateful for, otherwise they'd be dead) but is just so different from what they know? Yes, FCG had that last moment clarity that he was in fact already fully alive, but there's definitely some "alive in the flesh" things to explore.

And more faith to explore too. Like, did he get to meet the Changebringer and talk with her in the afterlife? The Raven Queen? Speaking of just being in the afterlife, what about meeting Eshteross again? The other members of the Division of Public Benefit that he killed?

Also, I'm not sure how big a fan I am of the heavy breakdowns that will happen if FCG isn't resurrected. Bells Hells is suffering pretty good as is and I'd like them to have some happiness inbetween all the Moon Bullshit. Conflict drives a story, but you need soft moments to wind it down between heavy moments.

Because truthfully, most of what you get from keeping FCG dead is a bunch of breakdowns in the party without it's most optimistic member who actually advocates for communication, which they all suck at for various personal reasons. And a push towards the Villain Arc path that, honestly, a few are walking just fine without FCG staying dead and/or can still be pushed further down it just by the fact that he decided to kill himself to save their asses when no one wants to let any of the others go.

I do think that as far as martyrdom goes, what FCG did took a nice step away from "giving my life because it's worth less than any one of theirs and I think dying for a cause will give me absolution for the people I rage killed" and into "giving my life because it will save them and I don't know what else to do that will save them." There are certainly posts that get into the distinction between those choices better than I have. Which is where I think the "best ending for FCG" idea comes from, as it happened under the "best" reasoning for FCG to martyr himself. And to a certain degree, people have decided that martyrdom was unavoidable for FCG or that he was just highly prone to it and this was a good time/way to do it.

Still doesn't change that a self-sacrificing character did in fact sacrifice themself, though. Or that it didn't have to be the end that FCG met.

And I understand to some degree how Everyone Comes Back to Life if You Try can feel like it undermines the stakes. Because if no one stays dead, what do you have to fear from walking into mortal danger? Everyone will be fine right? Which is wrong. There is still trauma in dying, even when you're brought back. The realization of mortality, the struggle to steal back a life when it's not just a quick prayer in the heat of battle. And the ever looming possibility that you do it right and it's still not enough to steal them back.

Also, from the wider in-the-game-world's perspective: Resurrection is rare as shit and only people with immense wealth, connections, and/or power even have a shot at it.

Even mechanically it's not easy. You have to mind time limits, expensive costs, body conditions, spell levels and slots, not to mention that the dice can always say no.

So yes, Bells Hells probably needs to go to less effort to Reincarnate FCG than they did to resurrect Laudna because all they're missing is components while they have the likes of Keyleth who kind of owe them for Moon Scouting and killing Otohan and should be able to provide.

[lurkingshan]

You know I’m loopy, so here goes: top 5 things that were bad about Only Friends, with a bonus of one good thing that stood out.

Oh I see you decided to work out your travel frustrations by choosing violence. I approve and will absolutely play along. Only Friends lovers (is that still a thing?) look away, I am not gonna be nice!

The Casting

This show should not have been cast with branded pairs, full stop, and in fact the original intention was that it wouldn't be. But as a result of the pairs being added, the writing became hamstrung by the need to protect their BGP and deliver fanservice instead of a good story. It sucked all the life out of the show.

That Theme Song

Terrible. Y'all stans can lie to yourselves if you want but I know good music and that was absolutely not it. And don't even get me started on them letting First sing in this show, my ears may never recover.

Confusion in the Writers Room

It was often evident that the different writers on this show did not share the same interpretation of the characters, which resulted in a lot of confused characterization and wobbly story arcs. Even before the finale pissed everyone off, these cracks had been showing for weeks, and only one of the three main arcs was actually holding together (until the finale blew that one too), with some of the characters feeling like completely different people from week to week. Part of the reason we had so much back and forth in the discourse about how to interpret the characters is because the show itself did not have a clear handle on most of them.

The Politics

SIGH. I have already written about this a bunch so I will not belabor the point, but the fact that this show turned out to be such a sex shaming, monogamy pushing, weirdly prudish and anti-queer story is one of the biggest disappointments of the year, and really cooled my trust in Jojo's future projects.

A Truly Egregious Waste of Jennie Panhan

Why would you put her in this show only to give her so little to do?? Yo was a hell of a lot more interesting than whatever that was they did with Boeing, and I wish they'd given her better material.

BONUS: One Good Thing

It was really fun to have a big ensemble show like this with different characters and relationships for people to latch onto, and the fandom discourse was mostly a fantastic time. I wish the show had lived up to the hype so it didn't have to end on a sour note, but I still had a lot of fun for the three months it was airing.

Oh and of course, their ending not withstanding, we'll always have Paris.

Ask my top 5 anything in bl

[backjustforberena]

with the season over and knowing what we know of their characteristics, how do you feel like rhaenys and the hull boys would have gotten along? perhaps it’s wishful thinking on my part, but while it would be incredibly complex and a constant reminder of corlys’ betrayal, i think she would have had a better relationship with them than corlys does at this point. i think both of the brothers would fear her for sure, but alyn, i think he would respect her much more than he does corlys. and not just the respect that a commoner gives their lady, a princess. but that personable respect. and addam… he’s tripping over himself to mean something, and i think he would want to prove himself worthy of laenor’s dragon. of being apart of this fight.

of course, again, this is all basically fanfic lol

YES, LET'S DO THIS!! Okay, so I'm going to go out on a limb and say we broadly follow the plot points that we have in Season 2. Which is to say that the Dragonseed stuff unfolds as it does; Addam claims Seasmoke, Rhaenyra gets a bunch of people from King's Landing, Ulf and Hugh are successful. As well as the Harrenhal stuff, Mysaria's growing influence and the general readying for war. And Alyn being made Corlys's first mate. The only thing I'm leaving a question mark over is if Corlys were to be made Hand because, listen, it just makes sense if Rhaenys is Hand. So she can be Hand in this or not but either way, Corlys can still participate in the council, as he did in Episode 04, it's just without the badge.

Do I think that Rhaenys and the Hull boys would have gotten along? In principle? Absolutely. They're decent lads, there's nothing objectionable in their characters. Alyn is very much like Corlys and we know that Rhaenys is hardly going to fault those traits. He saved her husband's life, he's respectful and well-mannered. Any less-than-desirable traits such as sullenness... they're old hat to her. She'd know how to deal with it. And Addam is just friendly and open and I also think she'd be reminded of Laenor with him, to be honest. So, yes, she has no issue at all with who they are as people.

But, as you say, it would be complex and hurtful. It would be painful. Rhaenys never shirks from putting the political and the right above her personal feelings. This wouldn't be the exception. She has multiple things to deal with now that can only be aided by fostering a relationship between herself and these boys. And promoting them to their father as well. She'd have her guard up, I know that much.

The ironic thing is, I think she'd have more to do with them than Corlys would. With Addam, especially - she'd be required to as a dragon-rider. As the most experienced one as well, and the only one (apart from Rhaenyra, who is naturally busy, and the Keepers who have left) who has actually taught multiple people how to bond and fly with a dragon. She'd be invited to consult, teach, oversee all of that, especially if Rhaenys remains a trusted advisor to Rhaenyra. No doubt she would have been at the dinner that Rhaenyra threw. She can't hide from being in proximity to Addam. There's also possibly a curiosity to know them both even on a pragmatic view (as new assets, as being around her grandchildren, as being around Rhaenyra and Corlys and what that all means).

Even with Alyn, now that they have identified each other (however vaguely), she has reason enough to be down at the docks and now reason enough to seek him out, given his risen position amongst her husband's men and the fact that she is responsible for the safekeeping of his brother. In terms of the role they both play in the war, they would be in one another's orbit.

On a personal note for her, I think they'd need a follow-up to the only scene they have together. I think Rhaenys has answers that she'd want that Corlys wouldn't be in the headspace to provide for her. Corlys is very much in denial. Rhaenys, once a plaster has been ripped off, doesn't like to keep things in the dark. Acknowledging those sons means the door is open to then interact, and she'd rather deal with it and face it and settle it.

Would they like her? Again, I don't see why not. A lot to like. She's not calling for them to be banished or killed which is a great start. I think Addam would put her on a pedestal. I think he'd be a bit in awe. She's Rhaenys Targaryen. And I think he would be striving to prove himself and be polite to her and make an effort. It wouldn't be lost on him that he's her husband's son riding the dragon of her dead son. Everything she teaches him and has done with him, she'll have done with her own boy. The "preferred" boy. There would be fear there, and Rhaenys would be able to give as much or as little as she wants to the relationship - Addam would force nothing.

Alyn would respect Rhaenys more than Corlys because Rhaenys has never done anything against him. It's not her fault that his childhood was the way it was. He doesn't owe her his existence. He's not bound to her in the way he is to Corlys. But if she treats Addam well, then she's on to a winner. I think that's the way to gain Alyn's respect. Treat them well and treat them honestly. Rhaenys is honest. She would be honest.

Even in the matters of being Corlys's service and possible heir, she'd be able to navigate that conversation. She'd be able to do something that Corlys, so far, is unable to do: apologise. That's not to say that she'd overstep. She wouldn't. She and Corlys are a team and she wouldn't suggest something that isn't hers to make real or to give (r.e the succession). But Corlys is dealing with so much, internally, that he can't put away, whereas she's very good at compartmentalizing and removing her emotions from an equation. I can see her pushing for Corlys to bring them forward, if only for their own security.

But I also recognise that Rhaenys would also be very divided over her duties and what other things take her priority and if there is time to address it at all. It could easily be that she and Rhaenyra go to Harrenhal, not Rhaenyra and Addam. It could be that she is having to curb Jace somewhat in his treatment of the Dragonseeds (I can imagine a very curt "Jacaerys" at the top of those steps when Jace gets in Ulf's face... just me?) or patrol the Gullet or deal with training or the council or the Keepers or her own personal feelings on a whole host of issues. This is not her only pressure. Frankly, I can see her wobbling. But hey, maybe that would be enough to make Corlys see the light. Or for her to talk bluntly about it, needing it off of her plate before she can stat to worry about anything else.

[echoequinox]

POKEMON DIZZY PART 4!!!!!

(Parts 1-3 are here :3)

With the path south open I bumped my way down to Vermillion and poked around a bunch. Grabbing the Old Rod from this guy made me go back to Cerulean to do the Old Rod quest and I started working on quests in Vermillion as well, lots of back and forth fetch-questy stuff but it felt good

I also used the PokeRadar to find a Fletchling, which meant this bad boy got me a quest to show off a Water/Fire type AND to trade in Cerulean to grab Bulbasaur! Which I fused with another Fletchling to make Fletchsaur but he was too ugly to put on camera 😔

Slowper is different though :) He deserves lots of screentime

And now I'm aboard the S.S. Anne! I did a lot of running around, back to Vermilion and Pewter City and shit for quests before finally making my way here. I cleared out every room I could find in the ship, just kind of grinding my way through guys, and my little waifish trainer is between these two big sailors 😳

Also this is the Super Nerd who gave me the dome fossil back in Mt. Moon! He gave me the claw fossil this time :)

Interrupted some Girl Bestie Moments on the expensive cruise ship... 😳

AND THEN....... IT'S HOUDINI TIME

I love the fact that the rival and most of the gym leaders have really excitable, upbeat looks and Daisy's face is just SHADOWED like there's nothing behind those eyes, Quinn is full puppet-master mode at this point

AND THEN! An uneventful bit and then I fought Lt. Surge as well! I wish they'd made the trash can buttons a little less shitty but. That is truly the Vermilion Experience, I suppose.

AND I beat him first try 😎 It helps that I had Bellrow as my ground sweeper but also Polichu came in and did some work too

From finishing the S.S. Anne I got Cut, and for finishing Lt. Surge's gym I got the ability to use the HM Teleport! Which is just fly! So I've just been bouncing all over the place cutting trees and shit.

First was Pewter City where I got my dome and claw fossils resurrected, AND there was a lady in the back who asked me to help her get some Old Amber in Viridian Forest. It was overrun by Beedrill so we had to take them out 💪😤

I thought it was funny to see that someone just had a Pokemon named Sandra. :)

Earlier I caught a Buneary through the PokeRadar, and I thought "man that would be a fun Gardevoir fusion, but I'm terrified Lopunny would be too sexy..." But I decided to try anyway, and... my god.

MY WIFE. QUINN SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL... I considered switching her back, especially because Normal/Fairy is a pretty mid combo and doesn't give any STAB bonuses to Psychic moves but...... I want to keep her for a bit. Aftercare for Daisy's excruciating spider hypno antics

Also I found an egg in the Dark Cave and when I had it in my party it came up on the Teleport HM quickbar?? I thought that it was maybe an Abra in there but later it hatched into a Machop/Geodude which was lame and I boxed him lmao. Just a glitch I guess

I WAS TERRIFIED SHE WOULD BE TOO SEXY,,, BUT LOPVOIR IS SO FUCKING MOMMY IT'S UNREAL. SHE'S... SHE'S MY WIFE. MY GIRLFRIEND. MY DOMMY MOMMY-

It took me a couple tries entering and leaving but I did make it through Dark Cave and made it to Lavender Town! Always loved the aesthetic and the custom music they have for it has a sort of Minecraft-y vibe to it.

Also this kid said that the odd keystone let him talk to his dead grandma 😨 So I snatched that shit up and I'm gonna make a Spiritomb >:3

Earlier I grabbed the shears outside of Pewter City and I just got the pickaxe as well, which are little HM tools so I don't need to actually have a Pokemon with Cut or Rock Smash. Which is nice!

Also. I'm sorry for who I am as a person but this is kind of a weird kink run. I kind of really enjoy the idea of Daisy as the team's HM slave. Like realistically Quinn is the trainer and Daisy is there as more of a figurehead kind of thing so her being the one to use the HMs is very funny and makes sense to me.

Also I played so much blackjack... bro I love blackjack so much, I would absolutely gamble irl if I had any less self-control (the hypno girl has self-control, shocking, I know)

Took me a little while to grind out all the trainers (because I really like that it gives incentive to fight AS MANY as possible, not just for EXP but for potential trades, gifts, and rematches too!) but I made it to Celadon!

First I found a DITTO in a trash can!! Incredibly sad but mine now :) I'm gonna have a whole team of Gardevoirs lmao

I also really like this lady! She just kind of lives alone and has her Pokemon take care of her which I think is really cute.

Daisy 🤝 Her Pokemon Symbiosis

Also I just wanted to point out the writing in this game. As a creative writing major, I wanted to say that it's really neat what they did! The lore and gameplay interweave and make a lot of sense together, and also like! Writing for small text boxes is HARD. Big studios get around it by just. Making text boxes bigger, or text smaller, but being forced by constraints of an existing engine, and making it flow and feel good and funny and in the spirit of the original games takes some doing, AND it always feels like they inject a bit of their own personal character in as well.

(Like in addition to this funny rat line, there's a couple TV lines where it's like "There's a sitcom playing. The laugh track lets you know it's funny." and "There's a political debate on TV. ...Well it's time to get going!!" and it's always very fun)

I ended my adventure here at Celadon shopping center and my CURRENT TEAM IS THUS:

The Growlpix is the only thing that may go, as I may fuse Gardevoir with either an Arcanine or Ninetales depending on how I'm feeling.......

I also wanna start doing more LORE for Daisy and Quinn, like how I did this little lore post about how Daisy looks after the first couple of gyms.

I think maybe after every two gyms, something about Daisy changes to accommodate Quinn. The first two gyms saw Spider Quinn where she was mostly Spinarak and Ariados, and her spider-web puppet strings created psychic scarring along Daisy's arms and fingers to make her look more like a marionette, and I'm thinking perhaps this new bunny look may influence her as well in some way... we shall see.

[helloalycia]

overstepping [one] // jane banner (Wind River)

summary: after getting several voicemails from your colleague and best friend with her asking for your backup, you attempt to call her back, only to get no answer.

warning/s: mentions of rape, murder and injuries.

author’s note: this is a two parter because i finally watched Wind River and it broke my heart but also lizzie was v cute and i felt the need to write this, hope you like it x

part two | masterlist | wattpad

"C'mon, work you stupid phone," I complained for the millionth time, before standing on the chair to get a better signal.

When I saw the bars in the corner of the screen increase, a grin appeared on my lips. I loved my parents, but the fact that they lived in a remote cabin in Tennessee with zero signal was not my favourite thing.

When the bars remained, my phone decided to actually be helpful and receive all the messages, calls and voicemails I missed. I did a brief flick through, noticing nothing was too important that couldn't wait for me to return to work. As an FBI agent, I rarely got time off. And now that I had taken a two month vacation to spend with my parents, I was adamant on enjoying it, even if I was missing work a smidge.

Next were the calls, which I noticed were mostly from my colleague and close friend, Jane Banner. I furrowed my brows, realising she'd left me several voicemails, too, which was strange since she knew I was on a break from work. What could be so important?

I sighed, glancing down at my uncomfortable position standing on the chair and leaning above the wardrobe. It was the only place in the house with decent signal and the only other place that wasn’t in the middle of nowhere was twenty minutes out. Telling myself I'd just listen to one voicemail to make sure everything was okay, I played the earliest message.

"Hey, Y/N. I'm sorry, I know you're on a break, but I just had to talk to you," it began, and Jane sounded troubled. "I was in Vegas, as you know, but I've been called out to a reservation in Wyoming where this poor girl was–" She paused, releasing a shaky breath. "She was raped and left to die out in the cold. I thought I could send in another team to take a look – y'know, usual protocol. But the coroner won't rule it a homicide and you know what that means."

I swallowed hard, knowing exactly what that meant. If it wasn't ruled a homicide, no backup would come and we had to move onto the next case. But if this girl was raped and left to die, the rapist was still out there and wasn't getting caught by the FBI.

"I can't just leave it and go," Jane continued quietly, with that recognisable passion for her job evident in her voice. "I have to do what I can. But I... I can't do this alone. It's not like other cases, Y/N. It's different out here. And there's only so much their police department can do. I know you're on a break, but I was hoping that, maybe, you could come out here and help me? It's the Wind River Indian Reservation. That's it, I guess. Bye."

The message ended and I found myself chewing on my lower lip anxiously, unable to think about anything other than Jane now. She'd worried me with that one voicemail alone – I couldn't imagine what the others said.

She was usually so good at dealing with cases, but this seemed different. She sounded shaken up, attempting to put on a brave face by the sounds of it. What was so different about this case? She didn't need me. She was capable.

Curiosity got the better of me and I played the second message, ignoring the discomfort in my arms as I stretched to maintain the signal. It was left a day after the first one.

"Hey, so I just remembered that you said you don't get much signal up there with your parents," she began apologetically. "I don't mean to– shit, it's so cold..." There was a pause, a noise in the background, then she continued, "Sorry, just turning up the heating. Anyway, I was saying. I don't mean to intrude on your break. I just– I'm hoping you'll find signal and hear this because I could really use your help. I think we've got a lead on who may have done it. It was hectic today. Really could've used that backup."

She chuckled dryly at her attempt at a joke, but all I felt was guilt. She sounded exhausted within a day of being there.

"I hope you get this," she finished with a sigh. "I should go. Got a busy day tomorrow. Hope you're doing okay. Bye."

I wasted no time in playing the next message. Three days into her case.

"I don't know why I keep sending these," she began with a hoarse voice, and my heart clenched at the sound of it. "You clearly aren't getting them in time. But it's easier talking to you like this than not at all."

It went quiet, so quiet that I thought she may have finished and forgot to hang up. But then she spoke up again, a whimper escaping her lips.

"It's so hard," she admitted. "We've covered worse cases, but this one... everything about it makes me uncomfortable. Something doesn't feel right. I've got a lead – we think it might be the boyfriend who did it and we're gonna see him tomorrow. But I don't know."

I frowned, squeezing my phone tightly because I didn't recognise the girl speaking as my friend. This girl sounded broken and I wondered what she could have discovered that made her like this.

"I've got the police department with me for backup," she said with a sniffle. "And Cory, he's a hunter whose been helping me with the case. They're all gonna be with me tomorrow. But I wish you were here, too. You always make things easier."

The lump in my throat wouldn't disappear no matter how many times I swallowed it. She made things easier, too. Always. And all I wanted to was be by her side and be there for her like she always was for me.

"Sorry about this," she said with a watery laugh, and I could imagine the embarrassed smile on her face as she did. "I sound like such an idiot. Never mind these messages. Just enjoy your break. I shouldn't be worrying you like this. See you when you get back."

The message ended and I checked to see if there were anymore, but to my disappointment, there wasn't. That message was from a few days ago and she hadn't sent anything since which was concerning in itself.

Trying not to panic for no reason, I called Jane. Hopefully everything was okay and I was being stupid. She was a fully-trained FBI agent. She could take care of herself. Right?

The call rang and rang, but nobody picked up. One missed call. No biggie. She probably heard it and couldn't find her phone or something. So, I tried again.

More ringing and no answer. Okay, no big deal. Just try again.

Another call and no answer. The chewing on my lip became more intense. Why the hell wasn't she picking up? Was she still working the case?

I waited an hour, trying again at ten minute intervals, unable to fight my concern. But there was no answer every time and I realised that I couldn't sit and wait for her to call back. Not after how she sounded in those voicemails.

No, I had to go there. She needed backup.

—

Wyoming was way colder than I could have prepared for.

I mean, technically, I prepared for nothing. I bid my parents a goodbye, threw some random clothes in a bag and caught the next plane over there. I tried for Jane's phone constantly, knowing she was never one to ignore me for this long, but there was no point. She wasn't answering, which could only mean so much.

When I reached the reservation, I had no idea where anything was or what I was looking for exactly. I just knew that as soon as the taxi dropped me off in the centre of town, I didn't know where to go.

There were a lot of locals hanging around, so my first port of call was to ask them if they'd seen Jane around – or Agent Banner, as she may have introduced herself. I showed them a picture of her on my phone, described her with vivid detail, but they just stared at me like I was crazy. I was starting to believe I was at one point, until I stopped by the convenience store.

As worried as I was for Jane's whereabouts, the chill in my bones was real. Especially my hands, which I was certain would fall off any minute. So, I decided to buy some gloves and also ask the cashier if he'd seen Jane around or heard anything of her. Whilst I was doing that, a customer caught my attention, probably having overheard my conversation.

"Did you say Jane Banner?" he asked with a quirked brow, interrupting my purchase. "The FBI lady, right?"

I nodded quickly, facing him. "Yes, that's her! D'you know where she is?"

He nodded casually. "Yeah, she's in the hospital. That big shootout that happened a few days ago, right?"

My stomach dropped. "The what?"

"The shootout," he repeated, not aware of the concern in my face. "At the drill site. A bunch of officers were killed and the FBI lady was one of the only one left standing." He tutted as he shook his head. "Very lucky that one."

A shootout? The hospital? Only one left standing? No wonder she hadn't been answering her calls.

"Can you– do you–" I stopped, clearing my throat and trying to stop freaking out. "Which hospital?"

After getting the address from him, I caught a taxi to the only hospital in town and prayed to God that Jane was okay. The one thing she'd asked for was backup and I couldn't even give her that. If I'd just looked at my messages sooner... fuck.

Getting past the front desk and to Jane's room was no issue at all. A quick flash of my FBI badge was enough for the receptionist to give me the details and wave me through. My heart was constricting in my chest the longer it took. What if it was really bad? What if that customer's intel was outdated and Jane was– no. I couldn't afford to think like that.

Upon finding Jane's room, I spotted an older man leaving through the door, being careful to close it behind him. I didn't recognise him at all.

"Excuse me," I called, earning his attention. "Is that Jane Banner's room you just came from?"

He seemed surprised, glancing over his shoulder to make sure I was speaking to him, before nodding. "Yes. Sorry, who are you?"

I pulled my badge from my pocket and showed him, though I doubted anyone would take me seriously when my eyes were watering at thought of Jane being severely injured.

"I'm her friend," I said, swallowing down the lump in my throat before lowering my badge.

"Oh, you're the backup that didn't come," he said with realisation.

My eyes flickered to the floor guiltily. He wasn't exactly wrong.

"I didn't mean it like that," he added quickly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

I shook my head, lifting my eyes to meet his. "It's okay. I should've... I should've been here." It went quiet as he didn't know what to say, so I looked to him halfheartedly. "I assume you're from the police department, one of the ones who helped Jane."

"Not exactly," he said, before putting out his hand for me to shake. "Name's Cory. I'm a hunter by trade."

Returning his handshake, I recalled Jane's voicemail. "Oh, yeah, she mentioned you... thank you for helping her out."

When I couldn’t, I added in my head.

He offered me a small smile and I couldn't find it in myself to return it. I must have looked like shit, since he gave me a pitiful gaze.

"You want me to catch you up before you go in?" he asked, nodding to Jane's door. "She's okay by the way."

I nodded, sucking up a breath. My nerves were eating away at me the longer I didn't see Jane – half of me was terrified of what I'd find, and the other half was afraid she'd be upset or angry because I left her to it, even when she pleaded for my help.

Cory and I took a seat down the hall and he proceeded to explain about the case and how they found the guy who raped that poor girl. The shootout was the worst bit, making me shiver with discomfort. Apparently, Jane had gotten blasted with a shotgun, puncturing her torso and neck despite the vest she wore. All of the officers with her were killed and by the sounds of it, Jane almost was, too. But Cory managed to take out the criminals and the rapist himself. When he was finished telling me, I had no words.

"She's a bit shaken up, but her surgery went well," Cory reassured with a short nod. "Does she know you're coming?"

I shook my head, voice thick with emotion. "She wouldn't answer her phone. I guess I know why now."

Cory nodded, rubbing the back of his neck before sparing me a consoling glance. "She talked about you a lot. I think it'll cheer her up seeing you. You should go."

My eyes met his, teary and stinging with unshed tears. "Thank you so much."

He shrugged bashfully, but he didn't realise all that he'd done. I gave him a small, tight smile before standing up with a sigh. No point dwelling anymore – I had to see her.

Pushing my selfish feelings aside, I sucked it up and approached Jane's room. She would either want to punch me or not, but either way, I had to see if she was okay. And so, when I opened the door slightly, heart racing in my chest, said heart jumped in my throat at the sight of her.

She was laying on the bed with wires stuck in her and, only from what I could see, bandages were covering the side of her neck. I thought she was sleeping at first, but then her head tilted towards the door curiously, and bright blue eyes widened with disbelief.

"Y/N?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. "What are you– how did you get here?"

I closed the door behind me and hesitantly approached her bedside, unable to stop my eyes from soaking in the sight of her. She looked so feeble and vulnerable and unlike how I saw her last. Then, Cory's words came back to me and I began to imagine the worst scenario of her getting shot, blood seeping from her wounds, the life draining from her eyes...

"Y/N," she called, and I looked to her startlingly, hoping I didn't look as troubled as I felt.

"Sorry," I said, clearing my throat. "I, er– the messages. Voicemail. I heard them and tried calling you back, but..."

She pursed her lips, exhaling with a wince and looking up at the ceiling, as if suddenly remembering she left messages in the first place.

"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner," I said quietly, guilt seeping back in.

"No, no, don't be," she said, and I just about noticed the pink dusting her cheeks. "It's not your fault. I shouldn't have interrupted your vacation like that. I know you said you wanted a break and–"

"Jane, no, don't even say that," I cut her off, reaching for her hand in an instant. She looked my way, eyes flickering between mine nervously. I squeezed her hand gently and said, "I should have been here. You needed me and I– I didn't come. Maybe if I had, this could have ended differently."

She tried to smile, but I could see the discomfort in her eyes. "It's not that bad, honestly. It just looks bad."

I pressed my lips together, eyes falling to the bandage on her neck. Even though it was big and covered her wound, I could still make out the bruising around it from the impact of the shell. I didn't imagine the torso wound looking any different, and that thought alone made me regret leaving her alone. It was very much as bad as it looked; I knew that and she knew that.

Her lips trembled as she avoided my eyes, her own tearing up. I pushed away my guilt momentarily and changed the subject.

"So, I met Cory. He seems like a great guy."

She didn't say anything as she seemed lost in thought. Either that or she was trying not to cry in front of me. I hoped it wasn't the latter, since the last thing I wanted was to make her feel uncomfortable.

"You know," I said, when she wouldn't speak, "I'm pretty sure I told you to stay safe before I left for my vacation."

At my poor attempt to lighten the mood, she cracked a small, tight smile, but a smile nonetheless, and my racing heart slowed down momentarily.

"I'm glad you're okay," I said, now that I had her attention again, and she looked my way with a softened expression. "Kind of okay. But you know... okay."

Thankfully, she knew what I meant and her hand tightened around mine.

"I'm glad you came," she returned, and I couldn't look away even if I tried. She was always able to trap me with a single gaze.

With a tug of her hand, she motioned for me to sit on the edge of her bed, so I did. And then she began to ask me about my vacation, what I'd been up to this past month, how my parents were... basically anything and everything except for the case. And it was understandable, since she was reminded of it all the time. If I could be a form of escapism for her, so be it. It was the least I could do.

We spoke for hours until the nurse came in to let me know visiting hours were over and I'd have to come back tomorrow. With a regretful sigh, I got up from my seat on her bedside and stretched my limbs.

"Where are you staying?" she asked, a slight frown on her lips.

I smiled awkwardly, realising I didn't think that far ahead. "I'm not gonna lie, I don't know. I came straight here. There's gotta be a hotel or something in this town, right?"

She nodded and flicked her hand to the shelves on the other side of the room. "You should stay in my room in the inn. Key's in my bag over there."

"Oh, I don't have to do that–"

"Y/N, it's not like I'm going to be staying there anytime soon," she cut me off, smiling halfheartedly. "Please."

I chewed on my lip and nodded, giving in. When I grabbed her keys from her bag, I stopped by her bedside and gave her a supportive smile.

"I'll back first thing in the morning, if you don't mind," I said, and she finally gave me a smile that reached her eyes.

"I'd like that."

I nodded, resting a hand on hers and squeezing comfortingly. "Goodnight."

—

Though I knew Jane was okay, I still couldn't stop myself from thinking about her all night. The sight of her wounds and the broken expression on her face was enough to keep me awake. And the guilt that came with it all... why couldn't I have just picked up my damn phone?

As promised, I returned to Jane's hospital room the next morning, this time bringing some breakfast snacks from the hospital cafeteria since I knew the food would be much better than whatever they were serving her. Judging by the content expression on her face when I gave it to her, I was right.

When she finished eating, she was able to sit up slightly and move over on her bed, urging for me to join her and watch some TV with her. There was no way I was going to turn down that offer, so I slid next to her and kept a packet of sliced apples between us as we watched whatever was playing on the TV.

About halfway through watching, she spoke up randomly, taking me by surprise.

"When are you leaving?"

I tore my gaze from the screen and realised she was staring at me with intense green eyes.

"When you're well enough to," I answered truthfully.

She looked down to her hands. "You don't have to stay with me. You can go."

I studied her profile, knowing it was the wrong time to appreciate how stunning she looked even when she was makeup-free, sporting a bed head and tired.

"Do you want me to go?" I asked softly, afraid I may have overstepped.

She was quick to shake her head slightly, finally lifting her gaze to meet mine with glossy ones. "No."

I nodded, trying very hard not to smile, cleared my throat and grabbed her hand. "Then I'm not leaving. I'll be right here until you get better and I can take you home."

A ragged breath escaped her lips as she nodded in response. We both looked back to the TV and I noticed she didn't let go of my hand, her fingers warm to the touch and giving me goosebumps at the contact. But I wouldn't have had it any other way.

[caranfindel]

Recap/review 14.05: “Nightmare Logic”

THEN: Maggie. Lucifer brings her back to life but she's not okay. Maybe Jack can help us stop all the evil in the world. But then what would we do? Michael is making super monsters. The hunted become the hunters.

NOW: Maggie? Are they really still trying to make me care about Maggie? {sigh} Fine. Maggie is on a hunt, all on her own, in Claremore, Oklahoma, which she calls "delightful" but I'm pretty sure she's being sarcastic. She's in what looks like a mausoleum, hunting what she thinks is a ghoul, and we know all this because she took a camera out of her bag and started talking to it. She's wearing light pink pants that are gonna show ALL THE BLOOD, so you can tell she's still a newbie. And then the ghoul gets her. Bye, Maggie?

Title card!

Bunker. Sam seems to be leading a small hunting class. He wraps it up quickly when Dean comes in, and it seems like he still feels uneasy being a leader when Dean's around. Which makes sense. Dean's been the leader all of Sam's life. For his part, Dean actually seems to enjoy watching Sam in this new role, although he's a little sarcastic about things like hunter check-ins ("that's adorable!"). He asks Sam if he's getting any sleep, and we know the answer is "no" because Sam doesn't really answer. He's got 16 hunters on case, not including Cas and Jack (who are in Sarasota) or Mobby (who are in Texas.) You know, I'm okay with Cas being gone, but I'm not okay with him taking Jack with him. Just saying.

Dean thinks the new people don't need this much help, since they all survived a war, but Sam explains that a war is not hunting. Which begs the question, why are they all hunting anyway? Sam's right - the angel war wouldn't really prepare them for hunting monsters. So why are they doing it? Just because they live in the bunker now, so they have to be hunters? Is that why Maggie's out there in her damn pink pants trying not to get killed again?

As Sam's talking, he gets a notification that Maggie missed check-in. Ruh roh! {Sidebar: Seems like having to call in at a pre-scheduled time would be really inconvenient for hunting, so I've decided this just means she has to check in at least once every 24 hours.} Next we see the guys in the library, with Dean calling Maggie and not getting an answer as Sam works on the laptop. He has pulled up footage from Maggie's bodycam, which surprises Dean and me, but Sam says having the new hunters watch each other hunt is the best way to learn. You know, I'm thrilled with Sam's little vocational training program here, but I think the best way to learn would be to send the newbies out with experienced hunters, instead of sending them on their own and putting bodycams on them so everyone else can watch them die. But what do I know?

Sam says the bodycams upload directly to the server, so I guess Maggie had wifi in a mausoleum somewhere in delightful Claremore, Oklahoma. Of course, if Sam provided them, they'll have wifi everywhere, so let's not concern ourselves with minor details. They watch the ghoul from Maggie's POV, and Sam's clearly upset and afraid she's dead. Dean points that she might be okay, because 1) they didn't see her die, and b) ghouls are scavengers that don't normally feed on the living. Sam says "Yeah, but remember the ones that killed and ate Adam and his mom? And were eating me alive before you killed them?" No, he doesn't say that. But he should. Someone should. Instead he just asks why a ghoul would attack her. Because it's a monster, Sam.

(Hey, remember when Sam was tied to the table and the ghouls were eating him? That was a good episode.)

But this one has several good points too, including the fact that Sam looks like he might be growing the beard again. (I know he's not. Let me dream.)

Cut to a nice transition video of the Impala zooming down the road, and then the brothers in the cemetery where Maggie was last seen. Dean comments that a private cemetery must be nice, because it would be convenient. Yeah, when you die as often as these two, a cemetery in the back yard would be handy. On the other hand, they're usually not buried, so. Maggie was working this cemetery in the first place because some kids said online that a walker tried to end them. Sam then tries to mansplain (Samsplain?) walkers to Dean, who is very aware of what they are.

They enter the mausoleum and go down a flight of stairs. Damn, this thing is big. I've seen little mausoleums in cemeteries before, but nothing like this. They find drag marks on the floor. "But no blood," Dean says, "which means Maggie could still be alive." But those pink pants are gonna be really dirty.

(Hey, remember the last time Dean and Sam and Maggie were in a dark underground place, and someone got attacked and dragged away? That was a good episode.)

(Are you really doing this again? We get it. The show repeats itself and has frequent subtle and less-sutble references to older, better episodes. Can you stop now?)

(Fine. Geez.)

Sam doesn't think that's likely, because "ghouls don't take prisoners." I mean, I guess Sam wasn't technically a prisoner when he was tied to a table, but he does at least have to acknowledge that they won't necessarily eat you quickly. Dean's being oddly optimistic, saying that it might have taken her elsewhere to eat her, and maybe "hasn't finished the job yet." So, maybe only her arms and legs have been eaten? Well, that's encouraging. They're interrupted by a groundskeeper, so Sam introduces them as Harrison and Byrne (Talking Heads, so that had to be Sam's choice, not Dean's) from the Historical Preservation Society, sent by the city who wants to make the property a historic site. Oh, and can they speak to the owner?

When we get a view of the house, it's overgrown by weeds and out-of-control shrubs, so I think that groundskeeper needs to concentrate more on his gardening and less on who might be lurking in the convenient private cemetery. The somewhat geeky owner is very excited, saying he always knew this house had historical significance. He invites them in, but is surprised to see them, since it seems like the two who are already there should be enough. Whaaa? They walk into the living room to see the other two "historical preservationists" - Mary and Bobby.

And Bobby is wearing Michael's hat! RUN, BOYS, RUN!

Sam pointedly says he wishes they'd checked with "the main office" before coming all the way out here. {Sidebar: You know, the Show plays fast and loose with geography on a regular basis, but I like that Sam and Dean came from down Kansas and Mary and Bobby came up from Texas and they met in Oklahoma in a completely plausible timeline.} Bobby says they don't need permission from the main office to look at houses, "especially when the main office is run by a bunch of idjits."

OH WHAT THE HELL FAKE BOBBY! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS.

Mary pulls Sam away for a private talk while Dean questions the owner, Neil. But it turns out he's not actually the owner, he's only the nurse the owner, Mr. Rawling. Meanwhile, Mary explains to Sam that she and Bobby had been talking Maggie through her hunt, giving her pointers. (Gee, maybe you shouldn't have sent her off alone, Sam.) When she stopped texting, they got worried and came to check on her. Sam asks if they found anything, but before she can answer, Dean calls Sam into Mr. Rawling's room. He's unconscious, in a hospital bed, and they both agree that he looks exactly like the ghoul they saw on Maggie's video. (Which is odd, but what's even odder is that Mr. Rawling is getting a blood transfusion. Why?) If the ghoul is here, they wonder, where's Maggie?

Cut to Maggie, alive and conscious somewhere. She's strung up by her wrists and surrounded by blood bags. Hmmm. Looks more like a djinn to me.

Back at the house, Neil explains that Rawling had a stroke. Just then, Rawling's daughter Sasha shows up. She is considerably less excited to hear that the National Historic Preservation Society is interested in the house. She doesn't even know how long her father has lived here, and she's just here to wrap things up before he dies. She says it's been "a really long week," so I guess the stroke happened recently. And I'm pretty sure old Rawlings would still be in the hospital if his stroke was that recent, so put another check in the "odd" column. Sam does his best empathetic face, but she doesn't want to deal with the National Historic Preservation Society right now and asks them to leave.

Have you ever noticed that when Jared narrows his eyes a little bit, it emphasizes their tilt? Because I have.

The team regroups at the Impala. On the one hand, I like them working on their hypotheses and eliminating monsters based on their extensive knowledge. On the other hand, none of their extensive knowledge seems to have much basis in canon. First Bobby declares Rawlings "not a ghoul" because he "checked him out pretty good back there" and didn't find any bites. So I guess you stripped the old guy down under Neil's watchful eye, Fake Bobby? I don't think so. Mary suggests a shifter, but Dean says shifters don't hang out in graveyards. Sam suggests possession, which Nasty Fake Bobby dismisses because a demon wouldn't have put him back in bed after using his body, and he sprinkled him with holy water anyway. Dean calls him on his even-grumpier-than-usualness...

Something on your mind, Bobby?

Yeah. Your brother. He let Maggie come here when she had no idea what she was walking into. She wasn't ready.

Oh, come on. When is anybody ever ready?

You are or you ain't. A real leader would have seen that a mile away.

Well, okay then! Clearly I was at fault for accepting AU Bobby so quickly. He's not our Bobby at all. He's not just adorably surly, he's mean. And he's wearing that hat. And now I'm seriously starting to wonder if this is really even Fake Bobby. Did he pick that hat up at the church, after Dean took it off? Is that when Michael made him his vessel? Is Michael that attached to the damn hat? Is the hat a possessed object? Something evil is afoot, and THE HAT IS PART OF IT. I'M SURE.

This is a pretty scene, but my favorite part is Dean's "why are you being mean to my Sammy, old man?" face.

Mary smacks Fake Bobby back down, and then says they should split up. She takes Sam. Aw, this is twice that she's pulled Sam aside to take care of him. I like anyone taking care of Sammy. As she and Sam walk, she tells him not to listen to Bobby, but Sam wonders if he's right about everything. She says no, he's born to do this, and he could respond with "Actually, the only thing I was born to do was to be Lucifer's vessel," but he doesn't.

Mary continues, saying that if Bobby can't see what a natural born leader and generally awesome human being Sam is, it's not the only thing he's missing. Oh god, is she talking about what I think she's talking about? Do I even want to KNOW what Bobby is missing? Sam thinks the same thing, and segues into a talk about their relationship. Mary says that ever since they've been back (from AU Land, I guess), Bobby hunts all the time. "He won't take a break, not even for s-" and I swear to Chuck I thought she was going to say for sex, but she says "for a second." And then they have this exchange:

Bobby's not open like your dad.

Wait. Like MY dad?

Okay, at least he's not like your dad was when I knew him.

Oh my Chuck, Mary and Sam are talking about John. Poor Sam, who wasn't even allowed to talk about his mother for most of his life, now gets to talk TO her. About his father. Someone hold me. It's also funny and sad that the John he knew is so, so different from the John she knew. And now I'm imagining drunk Sam and Dean telling stories about their childhood, and Mary being absolutely horrified.

Anyway. Mary says Bobby has "walls" and she doesn't know if she can handle that, "if I even put myself out there again." Oh, wait, so she wasn't out there? So she and Bobby aren't actually in a relationship? They're just flirting and making googoo eyes and hunting together? Huh.

Sam makes an uncomfortable face, and she realizes he's not the best audience for this discussion, and it's all very weird and sweet. I'm going to stick with Mary and Sam rather than going back and forth like they do in the episode. Sam tells her that "our Bobby" wasn't very open either, at least not at first, and that he had to kill his wife and they had no kids. And Fake Bobby's walls are probably there for a good (bad) reason. Oh, Sam. You know about walls and reasons, don't you? He suggests that, if she cares about him, she won't give up on Bobby and his walls. Then they see something that looks like a pile of cloth. It's a jacket or something, and it comes with a pile of IDs - FBI, DEA, Forest Service. Must be a hunter!

Meanwhile, Bobby and Dean are having this talk:

You think I was too hard on your brother back there.

He's doing his best. He's doing better than his best. This whole hunter 5-0 thing, he's killing himself over it. He doesn't eat, he doesn't sleep, he grew himself one of those Kenny Rogers beards... no offense.

How much do I love Dean standing up for Sam, noticing everything he's doing? SO MUCH. I mean, I'm sure part of it is the classic "no one gets to talk smack about my little brother except me," but part of it is that he really is proud of Sam and what he's doing. And really is worried about him.

Dean and Fake Bobby come up on an old shed and open the door. It seems to be full of pelts. Dean goes inside, but Bobby sees a man in the woods and runs off toward him. Without saying anything to Dean. Dammit, Fake Bobby. Dean finds a body. Must be a dead hunter! He turns toward Bobby, just now realizing he's been left alone, and then something attacks him from behind. It's the old man Rawling ghoul! Dean grabs something off the windowsill, I can't tell what, and stabs the ghoul with it. The ghoul dissolves into dust. Huh. Weird. Bobby returns to find Dean covered in ghoul dust.

Back at the house, Sasha is going over some paperwork when she hears noises that seem to be coming from upstairs. She goes up and wanders down an oddly angular hallway. She opens a super-squeaky door and a vampire leaps out. On first watch, I only noticed the teeth, but on rewatch, it's one of the AU-style vampires, with the big pointy ears. She flees and falls {Sidebar: At this point, The Husband asked why women are always falling when they run away from monsters; I said it's the high heels} but as she cowers on the floor and awaits her doom, she realizes nothing is after her. The vampire is gone.

Sam and Mary are back at the Rawling house, and while it was bright daylight when they were wandering around and Sasha was being attacked, it's dark now. She explains that whatever she saw couldn't have been real, because it looked like a vampire, and Sam tells her she's not crazy. She gets the "monsters are real" speech, and Neil is more disappointed that they're not from the Historical Society than he is to learn that monsters are real. Then Dean shows up.

You're not gonna believe what I found in the shed.

You hunt monsters!

Oh, good. You told them.

What did you find in the shed?

Dead guy.

Hee! This little scene just cracks me up. Dead Guy matches the fake IDs, and Sam tells Dean they think something is killing hunters. Mary notices Bobby's gone, and Dean says he went to get something out of the truck. Alone??? She runs out after him. Dean tells Sam about Ghoul!Rawling attacking him, and Sasha's all, "he's right there," and Dean turns toward Rawling but all we can see is the foot of his bed, so I'm fairly sure it's going to turn out he's not right there after all. (Spoiler alert: I'm wrong.) Sam tells Dean about the vampire, but since the vampire didn't feed on Sasha, and the Ghoul!Rawling "died weird," Sam suggests maybe these aren't monsters at all (relieved sigh from Neil) but some kind of manifestation (not-relieved, confused looks from Neil and Sasha) like B.J. Hunnicut Fred Jones, who made all the Looney Tunes violence.

(Hey, remember when Fred Jones made the Looney Tunes violence, and Dean's gun had a flag that said BANG? That was awesome.)

(I can't help it, guys, the Show is feeding them directly to me!!!)

Sasha assures them her father is narcissistic but not psychic, and Dean wonders why he would manifest a vampire to scare his own daughter. Well, I mean, sounds like he was a bad father, so. When Sasha tells them what happened, Dean notices that she was scared away from what she was investigating, which is probably the reason the vampire was... manifested. Sam volunteers to go upstairs and investigate. Dean hands him a machete.

Downstairs, Dean sharpens another machete while Sasha downs some pills, and I know how you feel, Sasha. I've felt like cracking open the Xanax this week myself. She vents about her father and reveals that, because he was gone all the time, she was the one who found her mother after she (I assume) killed herself. "You what the most ridiculous part is?" she says. "I worshipped him when I was a kid. Didn't know any better. He's the only family I have left." Oh, gee, who else in this room can relate to that? Dean offers her some advice, which is to let it go. "The past is... nothing you can do about it now, so. It's just baggage. Let it go, you'll feel a lot lighter." She asks if that's what he does, and he says "I try. Every single day." Oh Dean!

Upstairs, Sam walks carefully down the oddly angular hallway (really, it makes NO SENSE) and opens the door Sasha had been peeking through. It's access to the attic. Sam peers around with his flashlight find finds old toys and a spooky taxidermied animal and blood bags and Maggie, strung up like the victim of a djinn. He pulls a needle from her neck and she wakes up, saying "it's here." There's a growl behind Sam and then the AU vampire attacks. {Sidebar: I wonder what kind of PTSD flashbacks Sam's going to have the next time he tries to go to sleep?} Sam hits it with the machete and it explodes into a cloud of dust, just like Dean's ghoul.

While all of this is happening, Mary goes outside and finds Bobby isn't at his truck. We see him walking in the dark, and then the man he ran after earlier comes out from behind a tree. His eyes are burned out.

Daniel?

Hey, Dad.

OH SNAP.

Bobby is shocked to see him, since apparently he died in AU Land. He kicks the crap out of Fake Bobby and then pins him to a tree with an angel blade through the shoulder, even though he doesn't stab him nearly hard enough to go through the tree, and even though Bobby remains completely level instead of hanging from that point. Mary shows up and Bobby yells at her to run. She shoots Dead!Daniel instead, but bullets don't do anything. As Dead!Daniel chokes Mary, Bobby pulls the angel blade out and falls down from the tree. He says "I'm sorry" and stabs Dead!Daniel with the angel blade, which causes him to explode into a cloud of dust.

Downstairs, Dean and Sasha go into Rawling's room, where Neil is fiddling with something. Dean finally asks what I've been asking the whole time, which is, why is the old man getting a blood transfusion? Neil says it keeps up his iron. Dean gives him a funny look and then asks Sasha to go make him a sandwich. She's all, what, seriously? He mouths go and flicks his eyes at Neil and she finally gets it and she's all, yes, that sounds like a great idea, I will go make you a sandwich.

He's so not subtle at all. I love him.

Dean pulls his gun and says he recognizes the rig now, from when he was hooked up to it. "You're not giving him blood. You're taking it." We see a flashback from "What Is and What Should Never Be," with Dean strung up in the djinn's warehouse.

(HEY! REMEMBER WHEN DEAN WAS CAPTURED BY A DJINN AND HAD THAT WHOLE DREAM LIFE? THAT WAS AMAZING.)

{Sidebar: The thing is, this would never work. The blood bag is hanging above Rawling's head. If you've ever given blood, you know the collection bag is hung below the needle. Your blood's not going to flow upstream. Gravity, people.}

"You're a djinn," Dean says. "But you knew that already, didn't you?" says Neil, as his eyes flash blue and his tattoos briefly appear. Dean asks why he's going after hunters, and he says "Because you told me to! Is this still part of the game?" Um, whaaa? Neil thinks Dean is Michael. The Michael who told him to set up a trap for hunters. He thought this was just a test. The new power Michael gave him is the ability to read minds and see nightmares just by touching his victim. And he can bring those nightmares into the world and make them do whatever he wants. Rawling's nightmare was dying alone in this house, and Neil is making it come true. Maggie's nightmares were the AU vampires. Ah, that explains why the monsters disintegrated - they weren't real. And it also explains why the AU vampires were over here. They came from Maggie's head.

Dean is still threatening Neil with the gun, and Neil says it won't kill him, and he's pretty sure Dean doesn't have a knife dipped in lamb's blood. (Silver, Neil, it has to be silver.) Dean does what I always wish they'd do in a "your mere gun won't kill me" situation, and shoots him in the knee, cause it's gotta slow him down, right? But it doesn't actually slow him much. He lunges for Dean and says he won't hurt "Michael's favorite monkey suit," but he does want to see his nightmares. He smacks a hand on Dean's forehead and is horrified. Neil backs away and says "you... you..." and then Dean says "I don't have a blade dipped in lamb's blood, but I can improvise," and smashes Neil's skull with a bookend. Okay, but. If that would work, why would you need a silver knife dipped in lamb's blood? Isn't it a lot easier to destroy the head?

It does work, but Neil has some evil plot to reveal before he dies. "You think I'm the only one? The only trap? He made dozens of us. Just out there, waiting for you, and your family." Dean shuts him up with the bookend, and then unloads his gun into him for good measure.

So, let's talk about this. What did the djinn see? I mean, Dean's been to Hell. His nightmares are pretty awful. Was that it? Or was it something else? Something, someone, maybe, hiding deep inside?

Aftermath! Dean pulls the needle out of Rawling's arm. It's daylight now, so I wonder why he waited for the sun to come up before ending the poor old guy's misery. He tells Sasha that he'll come back around after the djinn's poison wears off.

Back to the bunker, which is full of refugee hunters. Everybody joyfully greets Maggie and her dirty pink pants. "You did this," Dean tells Sam. "You got her home." Sam smiles, but it's quick and kind of sad.

Elsewhere in the bunker, Mary is bandaging Bobby. He tells her that he was a hunter in AU Land because his wife was killed by a monster, and then his son Daniel was taken by angels because Bobby got him involved in the angel war. He feels guilty about it, but it's not like the kid would have been safe even if he hadn't been fighting. Bobby always thought he'd die in the war, but he didn't (does that mean he considers the war over? he's never going back? because there's still a bunch of angels over there), and now he's "considering other options." So the constant hunting has been a way of trying to get killed. Nice of you to drag Mary into that, Fake Bobby. She tells him she's not letting him give up, and they'll find another way to live.

Sam's reading at the map table (wearing that magnificent red plaid shirt) when Dean comes in with a couple of beers. He says he talked to Maggie and she "can't wait to get back in the saddle." Sam's surprised to hear it, and I'm surprised to hear that Dean was the one to have this conversation with Maggie. How close do you suppose they are? Because really, the most time they've spent together was the long walk to Dayton after Sam was killed, and I can't imagine Dean was a pleasant companion. I'd think she'd be terrified of him at this point. Anyway. Dean says "she learned from the best," and again, Dean noticing and commenting on Sam's actions just makes me melt into a happy little puddle.

Sam's red plaid shirt also makes me melt into a happy little puddle.

Bobby and Mary come in and say "we need to talk," and the next thing we see is Sam arranging for them to stay at Donna's cabin. Which OF COURSE has a garden gnome. Bobby calls Sam aside and Sam is SO NERVOUS to be talking to him alone, and dammit, Jared, you break my heart on a regular basis. Bobby says "this job is no picnic, and I don't know if I ever really had it in me, but you do." You know, I think it's great that people are acknowledging what a good hunter and leader Sam is. But I just can't forget how much he didn't want to do this. I know he's accepted it now, and he claims to love it, but when someone tells him he's good at it, his smile is too tentative, too fleeting. I'm probably reading too much into it, but to me it says "Yeah, I'm good at the one thing I tried to get out of doing, yay me."

Mary and Dean say their goodbyes, and he actually seems to be okay with it this time. We do get the sad piano music, so we know it's significant. But the door slams shut and Sam doesn't flinch, so all is well.

(Hey, remember that time Mary slammed the door and Sam flinched? I loved that.)

Bye, Mommy! Bye, New Daddy!

Next we see the guys calling every hunter they know, warning them about super monsters. "Use the buddy system," Sam insists. Dean feels guilty about the whole thing, and says he knows it's not his fault, and he's trying to move on from "what I - what we - what he did," so it doesn't sound like he's moved on much at all. Sam says they'll work harder.

How, Sam? You get three hours of sleep a night.

Then I'll sleep two.

Oh Sam! I love his "I will do anything you need, even if it kills me" determination. He insists they'll find Michael and kill him, and Dean asks how. Sam brings up Monster!Kaia's spear again, and WHAT ABOUT THE FREAKING ARCHANGEL BLADE???? WHY HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN IT????? But the scene ends with Dean sadly walking away (something else I love? Dean's "I'm gonna pretend I believe you can fix this but I know you can't" expression) and Sam sadly biting his lip and oh, so much sad.

So much pretty, pretty sadness.

So! A little bit of nonsense, but mostly a pretty decent episode. I do wonder why they brought up Jack's powers, and the possibility of "ending all of this," in the THEN, since it wasn't addressed at all. But we got Chief Sam getting the respect he deserves. Some nice brotherly stuff. But most importantly, this episode made me realize that if monsters are the Big Bads this season, that means mytharc episodes can also be MOTW episodes. Praise Chuck. This could turn out to be a pretty decent season after all.

Please help me stay unspoiled, thanks!

[estrxlar]

The Ghost Of You

18 - I’ve Missed A Lot

This chapters songs:

Car; Porches

The Poetry Of August; Lamp

Homage; Mild High Club

- Y. L. Perspective

"What'd I miss?" I ask, running up to Kiyoko. My left shoe was barely holding onto my foot after I'd run so fast from the changing rooms to the gym.

For the past two practices, I'd had to skip to do a couple of recording with the band. But man—I missed the wrong days.

Her greys eyes grow wide as she shouts. "Y/n! There you are. I was wondering if you would show up to—" I quickly put a finger over her mouth.

"I don't want anybody knowing I'm late!" I whisper loudly. Once my other shoe was on, I straightened up my back, looking at the gym in front of me.

'Why are there so many random men here?'

"They've already noticed, Y/n. Just sit tight, I'll go tell the coach who you are before he kicks you out of e gym."

'Coach?!' I think, turning to question Kiyoko and her statement. But before I'm able to, she's already speeding to the side of an older, taller man.

It was only a day before our weekend training camp was next on our schedule. I didn't think too much about it. My only job was to clean up after my team and take care of them with Kiyoko. I was so caught up in writing new song lyrics that I had completely forgotten about Eclair and her presence, which was now a part of my day.

"Hi, Y/n! It's nice to see you again!" Her soft voice says from behind me as she comes to my side, looking at the floor in front of us. "The team missed you!"

I nod, smiling. 'Please, be quiet today.' I thought to myself as my eyes wavered towards Sugawara. He smiles at me, waving one of his hands, then putting it back down.

As for my relationship with him, it hadn't changed much. We were still staying silent about being together or not. I think what made us both have our doubts about being girlfriend and boyfriend was the idea that we would get too attached. Either way, that didn't change the fact that we already acted like a couple. The only difference was that we didn't have labels.

Kiyoko ran back to me in an instant with a scared expression on her face. "Uh...the coach wants to see you personally. He's right over there," she says, pointing to the man.

I gulp down the fear that was choking me and nod to Kiyoko, walking towards the man with my head down and my hands together. When I arrive at his side, I introduce myself as the manager. "My name is Y/n L/n, one of the managers of this club. My apologies for arriving so late, sir," I say, straightening myself again.

"Ah! Takeda had told me there were two managers. It's nice to meet you, I'm Ukai. For now, I'm nothing official. Your team supervisor is simply a persistent son of a bitch, so I had no choice but to come down and see what the fuss was all about." He explains himself. "So, it seems your team is a bunch of feisty young boys. Do you have any notes on them you wanna give me? I'm trying my best to get them into shape before that practice game they have after the training camp."

"Hm. I do have a couple of things I've been saving recently. My only big concern is how to get the little guy— Nishinoya— to become an official part of the team without another player." I point my pen to the second year as he stretches out his arms.

Ukai seemed to be one step ahead of me, for he raised his brows, pointing to yet another boy. But this one was nothing like Nishinoya. He was most likely the tallest on the team and had the features of a grown man. "Well, that issue seems to be fixed already!"

I purse my lips, embarrassed that I'd been so stupid as to miss so much. "I'm sorry, Mr. Ukai. I haven't attended practice ever since Tuesday, so I haven't been caught up on what's been going on," I say in a disappointed tone.

"That's alright. You just make sure to catch up with your friend, Kiyoko, and you should be all set. For now, just sit back and watch the practice game," he says. With that, he sends me off back to Kiyoko. I hadn't thought that he would be so nice to me after the look he gave me from afar. But I was glad that he'd let my absence slide this time.

Throughout the game, I wasn't allowed to talk to anybody other than the people on the bench, which was only a few of the boys I wasn't too comfortable having a conversation with. As for Kiyoko, Eclair wouldn't stop pestering her with facts about France and her appreciation from the team. Especially Sugawara.

But all wasn't too bad. In fact, this was the best game that I had ever attended. Not only was I able to see the skills of Nishinoya and his partner further, but Koshi was included. He was with a few of the older men and Noya, as well as Asahi, the man that was resistant to come to any of the previous practices.

There were many times when I wanted to scream and shout for the boys. Thankfully, I decided to be smart and not make a full out of myself. Instead, I sat tight, completely focused on Koshi. Was it a bad thing that I hadn't noticed his talents beforehand? I felt horrible that I hadn't been asking him about volleyball. The moment that he began to play, I was able to see just how passionate he was about volleyball. The gym floor was where he belonged, just in the way that I belonged with music.

Just like that, the first set had ended.

I spent no time gathering water bottles for the men, handing each of them a towel and bottle. Sadly, I wasn't able to reach him before Eclair did. It wasn't as if I could go against her actions. Koshi and I hid our feelings from the team, so it would be obvious if I stole him away for a second to give him compliments. I wanted nothing but to praise him for doing so well in the game.

After the boys return to the court, Kiyoko bumps my shoulder. "You know, I haven't seen Sugawara in such a good mood until recently. He's matured into a more enthusiastic guy. Do you think that has anything to do with you?"

"Maybe. It doesn't matter, though. I just want to see him do what he loves," my voice breaks in an instant as I put my hands together in front of my face, smiling at him as he looks back at me.

-

Though I had absolutely no clue who the extra grown men playing with our club were, Kiyoko and I still bid them a farewell before beginning to clean up with the rest of the team.

"Y/n! I wish we could have talked to you more today!" Nishinoya runs to my side, putting his hands onto my shoulders. The young man didn't seem to take the hint that I wasn't interested in him. Still, it was nice to be surrounded by a change of scenery. I was used to quiet, composed friends and family. "Asahi! You've gotta meet our new manager!"

The two of us look at the tall boy as he grows fearful. What did someone like him have to be scared of? It wasn't as if I would bite one of his fingers off. Hesitant to greet me, he rubs his neck, awkwardly smiling. "H-hi, I'm Asahi. It's nice to meet you."

"Mhm, you as well."

Am awkward silence overcomes us.

"Oh, come on! You call that a greeting?!" Tanaka intervenes, taking Asahi and I's hands and bringing them together. "Asahi, this is our totally awesome new manager, Y/n! She's a great girl and very fun.

Y/n, this is Asahi! The cry baby!"

"Hey! I'm no cry-baby," Asahi says, frowning.

I smile back, taking my hands back into my pockets.

"Erm, it's nice to have you back on the team, Asahi."

Suddenly, we all bring our attention to the temporary coach, who clapped his hands together.

"Great game today, everyone. Our main problem is receiving, so we'll be practicing that tomorrow, got it? After everyone has gotten their things together, please make sure to get lots of rest and arrive here tomorrow at 6:00 PM!"

Everybody nods, bowing lightly and running out to change into their regular school clothes. As for me, I decided to simply take my clothing in my bag and head home in my uniform. As did Sugawara.

I head out of the locker rooms and make my way to the usual spot we met up at after practice. There he was, looking up at the stars. He soon notices I walk towards him with absolute joy. "Why hello, Y/n."

"Hello, Koshi," I utter to him, smiling at his silly behavior. He wraps one of his arms around my back as always, beginning our walk towards home. "You were so good today! I haven't ever seen you play before. I wish I could have known sooner so I can suggest things to the team, like, 'Sugawara sure is a great player!' You know?"

"Well, now that you've seen me play, I think it's time I hear your band perform."

I'm surprised by Sugawara's words. Hear me perform? I could have sworn he'd already heard me and my friends perform a song. I tell him, "well then, you'll just have to wait till our competition. It's around next month. And if you'd like, you can bring Daichi and Kiyoko along. That Asahi kid too, I'd he's your friend."

"Can you imagine the number of requests you'd get from the first and second years if you told them you're in a band? They'd go crazy," he says. "But if it's next month, doesn't that mean you've got a lot of work to do? Are you sure you have enough time to be coming to volleyball practice?"

"That's why I need some help on finding an idea on what to write about! So far, I can't find a way to write anything." I slap my forehead in disappointment.

Sugawara lovingly pats my head. "Just forget about that for a second if it's bothering you, sweetie. Are you excited about this spring? The tournament is coming up as well. Have you talked to your friend Oikawa about it?"

"Koshi, he isn't my friend! And no... we haven't talked ever since the practice game. Should I ask him to say what he wants before I block him for good?"

He shrugs. "I dunno. Honestly, I've never had anybody be very persistent to apologize after something so mean."

"Hm. It's okay. I'm excited to be spending some time with you~" I lean into him, making him stumble slightly. "I know it's weird to say, but I'm proud that you decided to play today. I know you have potential that you don't use and it hurts to see you bottle up your talent that way."

Sugawara looks at me with the most gentle expression he'd ever shown the earth. "I—I try. Thank you. I'm glad I could show you that I'm not a completely useless player," he chuckles. "Honestly, I don't think I'm gonna be playing on the court this year."

I nudge him hard. "Sugawara! Don't say things like that. You're speaking words into existence. Try to have as much confidence as possible and I'm sure that our...new coach...will let you play!"

"Hm, maybe."

By the time we had arrived at my house, the clock struck 8:00 PM. I hadn't expected to be staying out so late. Since there was a surprise practice game, I had no choice.

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow," I say, unlocking my front door, and stepping inside the house. As always, it was quiet and felt empty. I turn to smile at Koshi one last time before closing the door, but he stops me with a rug at the wrist. "What is it?"

"Uhm...since it's Friday, do you just wanna sleepover at my place? That way we can get ready together tomorrow." His skin turned peachy as he asked.

I was yet to visit his house. It was always mine that we'd hang out at, so I was very caught off guard by his request. Come to think of it, I didn't know much about his family or lifestyle when it came to being home. All I knew was that his mother left his family with a cloud over their heads. And so, I laugh awkwardly, "ha, are you sure it's okay with your dad? I wouldn't want to be intruding or anything."

Sugawara quickly shuts down my reply, saying, "of course not. My little brother has people over all the time. But if you don't want to, that's okay."

I felt nothing but happy that he had invited me over, but was it really a good idea? After what he described his father as I was scared he would think of me as a burden. Although, I didn't want to pass my chance to meet his family. And so, I nod slightly.

"Okay, yeah! But I have to get some things together. Do you wanna come inside real quick?" My excitement is heard through my tone. I open the door wide for him to enter the house. He does so, happy that I had said yes.

-

"Come on in!"

Not in a million years did I ever expect Mr. Sugawara to be such a welcoming man. So tall, too.

"I've just gotten back from work, so excuse my strange appearance," he says to me as Koshi and I walk into the house. The man was the spinning image of his son: silver hair, hazel eyes, and thin yet strong build. But no beauty mark. He wore black blazer pants and a button-up white collared shirt, telling me he was a sophisticated man.

I bow. "Thank you for having me, Mr. Sugawara," I say to him.

"It's no issue. Your brother and I were just finishing making yakitori," he stated, before rushing back to what I assumed was the kitchen. After Koshi closed the door behind us and we took our shoes off, he led me there.

He and his other son were setting up the dining table. The boy was surprisingly shorter than Koshi, had pale brown hair instead of silver, and matched beauty marks with him. 'His mother must have been a brunette', I thought to myself as he ran off to help his father and brother.

Not soon after did the younger Sugawara look my way in the surprise of my presence. "Uhm—hi!" He says. The voice that came out of him was just as raspy as Koshi's, but a bit more aggressive and whiny.

'So...his mom must have had brown hair, was a short woman, had a raspy voice, AND gave her sons the beauty mark..' I was very quick to build an image of what I imagined his mother to look like. If only I'd be able to meet her in person.

"Hello. Could I help you guys with anything? I'd love to." My hands rub together like clay, sweaty and clammy. I didn't realize how nervous I was to be around so many men at once.

"No need, I'm just about done!" Mr. Sugawara placed a very big plate of skewers in the middle of the table. "Why don't you sit down with Isao and Koshi."

I do as told and make my way behind the kitchen and into the dining room, where a fair wooden table and a few zaisu chairs surrounded it.

The younger boy decides to sit across from Koshi and me, snaking eyes at me every few seconds. I think not much of it. It must have been strange to have a random girl join him and his family for dinner. Nonetheless, he doesn't think twice to begin his pattern of questions. "So, are you Koshi's girlfriend?" He bluntly asks with a grin on his face as the mentioned man scolds him.

"Isao! It isn't polite to ask people questions without introducing yourself first," He says as his dad continues to pour cups of water in the kitchen, pretending not to hear much of the conversation.

I feel my cheeks heat up immediately. How could I have explained that we were in love for quite some time but haven't been tied down yet? I clear my throat, looking at Koshi, who is shutting his eyes in embarrassment.

"Oh! Well, I'm Isao Sugawara. It's a pleasure to meet you...Y/n is it?"

I'm utterly surprised by his question. From what it looked like, Koshi had already told his brother about me. It was flattering yet terrifying. "Yes. It's nice to meet you as well." I try my best not to sound grim, but it's hard when you're stuck in such an uncomfortable situation.

"I'm guessing you're the one he's been hanging out with so much! You're so pretty! Come to think of it, I don't think Koshi has ever had a girl over." The boy chuckles.

'I thought he had many girls wrapped around his finger.'

Ending the most heart-racing conversation I'd ever experienced, Mr. Sugawara comes back with a few drinks in hand. "Well then, let's get to eating!" He exclaims, giving everyone their glass of water before sitting down next to his youngest son.

Each of us grab a skewer and began munching on the delicious chicken yakitori. Every once in a while I'd look up at the family, who didn't seem to be by the idea someone out of their comfort zone was there. As for Koshi, he kept asking if everything was alright for me and smiling. The sweet guy had no clue how shaken I felt.

"So then, tell us about your friend, Koshi." His father gulps down the last bite of his yakitori to drink a sip of his water.

The boy blinks a few times. "Uh—well, Y/n and I used to be friends during our first year but separated until this year. We've really renewed our relationship!" He laughs anxiously, downing his glass of water after his brief explanation.

"So, do you like to play volleyball too?" Isao interjects.

"Uhm, not exactly. I'm just one of the managers of the volleyball club. I've only been there for two weeks," I reply.

"What do you like to do? You seem like a sophisticated girl!"

Koshi snatches the chance to speak about me. "Y/n is a musician! She plays guitar and is a vocalist for this band she's in. She's even going to sign with a big label once she graduates!"

"Oh, cool!" Isao slams his hands on a table with a bright smile spread across his face. "I've always wanted to meet a musician! Koshi is so lucky to have a cool girlfriend like you, Ms. Y/n!"

He snaps at his little brother again for calling me his girlfriend, nervous now that his father was listening in this time. But Mr. Sugawara simply chuckles. "How fun, Y/n. So, I see you have some big plans! What kind of music do you and your band play?"

'Jesus, I did NOT expect that.'

"Mostly rock, sir. We're more of a punk band than anything," I say, folding my hands in my lap. Though the yakitori was delicious, I wasn't Anel to take in another bite. "May I do you all a favor as to wash the dishes? I appreciate you having me over so suddenly."

I stand up from the zaisu, picking up both my plate and Koshi's. Isao and his father also hand me theirs, thanking me for my kindness. "Do what you'd like! Thank you for joining us."

-

MF PLS VOTE THE RATIOS ARE SO SAD

IS MY WRITING THAT BAD?

also ily pls take care of yourself <3

- estrxlar

[oumakokichi]

Any idea why Ouma hates robots so much? Besides just having fun at Kiibo's expense, he goes so far as to say he hates all robots and wish they'd all just disappear or get destroyed. Hating the monokumarz is one thing, but why did he apply it to all machines? Thanks!

I think there are a few reasons for it. The first one, likeyou said, is mostly for comedic purposes. He often makes a lot of thesecomments about robots or machines for the sake of really exaggerated comedy,particularly in order to push Kiibo’s buttons or earn a snippy (tsukkomi)comeback in response. But I think part of it is also just directed at the factthat the robots and machinery in the killing game are the main things keepingthem there.

To touch on the first point, I think many of Ouma’s commentsaren’t actually made in any real harm. Clearly if he actually hated robots ormachines or thought that someone like Kiibo “wasn’t a person,” he had plenty ofopportunities to either eliminate him or incapacitate him. We discover inChapter 5 that Ouma had far more tools than he let on, including the items he’dcommissioned Miu to make for him.

Many of these items could easily have put Kiibo out ofcommission for a while—even just standing in the area where the electric bombwent off after they opened the machinery bay in Chapter 5 was enough to makeKiibo feel like he was having the equivalent of a human allergic reaction. Theelectric hammers were designed “not to work on people,” so Kiibo was curious asto whether it would harm him or not, since it would all depend on whether Miusaw him as a person or as a machine when she was building it. Clearly, Ouma hada lot of options on-hand if he saw Kiibo as a real threat and if he had wantedto remove him from the game or honestly thought that he was somehow “less thana person.”

However, all Ouma knew was that Kiibo was simply… unnatural.He quite literally writes the character for “strange” next to his picture onhis whiteboard. His backstory doesn’t add up or explain why a robot would needto be there in the first place, and the more “memories” they uncover from theremember lights, the weirder it seems for a robot to be there at all,particularly as they were supposed to be selected for the Gopher Plan due to theirimmunity from the virus mentioned in Chapter 5. Ouma most likely piecedtogether that if their entire group’s purpose was really to land on a remote planet and repopulate it as the “Adamsand Eves of the new world,” then it made absolutely no sense at all for Kiiboto be with them.

I think he suspected that because Kiibo was a robot, he hadties to the outside world and to the killing game itself—a theory which wasultimately proven correct in the end, as Kiibo was essentially an audienceproxy. Since Ouma knew that they were being watched by an audience very earlyon (alluding to it even as early as Chapters 2 and 3), he probably did wonderif Kiibo was meant to serve that kind of role, which meant that Kiibo’spresence was highly suspicious and that he wasn’t someone Ouma could easilytrust, right off the bat.

But it’s also a fact that Kiibo’s role as an audience proxywasn’t something he did willingly, nor was he even aware of it until Chapter 6.He displays time and time again that he doesn’t have bad intentions and that he’san all-around fair and objective individual who simply wants to be thought ofas an ordinary high schooler like the rest of his classmates—something which Iwouldn’t doubt frustrated Ouma, since it would’ve probably been easier to planaround Kiibo if he had actually been an emotionless machine with no autonomy orfree will. But since he wasn’t, Ouma was aware that he was a “person,” even ifhe wasn’t a human being.

Many of Ouma’s most drastic “destroy all robots” comments ordigs at how “humans can’t just read memories off a hard disk” are oftenimmediately met with Kiibo’s own comebacks, whether it’s about suing Ouma forhis discrimination, or about how humans are really the ones who should bepitied for their irrationality. Kiibo is hardly one to just sit back and takeOuma’s bratty behavior; he’s very capable of standing up for himself, and it’spretty telling, I think, that Ouma often seems to expect these comebacks andusually just grins, rather than trying to make it into a serious argument.

I’ve always been a little baffled at how people seem to takemany of these comments of Ouma’s 100% seriously when they read like a manzaicomedy routine. Ouma says something obviously bratty and exaggerated and playsboke with his robo-discrimination comments, Kiibo gets angry and retaliateswith a tsukkomi, repeat. Kiibo’s line about “being good at comedy routines” inChapter 3 amused me quite a bit, since it’s actually pretty much what he andOuma do most of the time in their interactions. Angie even remarks early inChapter 2 during one of their back-and-forth sessions that they “seem like they’rereally getting along.” So I don’t think those comments are meant to be read asOuma genuinely being hostile or downright mean.

I do think it’s him at his brattiest, though. Ouma isn’tsomeone who likes to harm others or see them get hurt or killed, but it’sabsolutely true he loves pranking the shit out of them—too much, sometimes. Hecan be exasperating and annoying, and it shows whenever he starts behavingsuper childishly. The worst he’s ever really done to Kiibo is probably hittinghim in the VR world to be annoying, and even that was partially to showcase thefact that Kiibo could feel pain in the VR world the same way as anyone else,unlike in the real world (a fact that Kiibo himself was actually quite happyabout, once he got over his initial annoyance).

As for the second point I made, I think Ouma’s resentmenttowards the Monokumerz and other machines is more directed at the fact that themachines themselves are some of the biggest obstacles in keeping them all fromleaving the killing game. The Exisals are, after all, quite literally killingmachines used to enforce the rules. Having rules is one thing, but withoutsomething present to enforce them, the whole game would fall apart. The Exisalsprovide the perfect means to intimidate and force the characters intocontinuing the killing game, preventing them from stepping out of line in thesame way that the Monobeasts did in sdr2.

The Monokumerz and Monokuma are the direct link between thekilling game and the ringleader, with the Monokumerz capable of controlling theExisals while Monokuma (and the Mother Monokuma, specifically) were able tomonitor the surveillance footage and keep an eye on everyone throughout the school.The sophistication of their technology was exactly what made it so difficult togo against them—not even to touch on the fact that they kept providing thecharacters with new motives for murder the day after each trial, in order tokeep the game going.

It’s quite understandable then that Ouma wouldn’t enjoy theMonokumerz, Monokuma, the Exisals, or any of the machinery and technology thatwent into organizing and maintaining the killing game. On his whiteboard, heeven writes “annoying” next to the pictures of the Monokumerz: not only are allthe bears involved in ensuring that the killing game continues, but they alsotalk and act according to such an obvious script for the sake of “entertainment.”

I really doubt that Ouma meant any of his “all machinesshould get destroyed” comments seriously, but even if you do look at it from aserious perspective, it makes sense to some degree, considering the machineryfor the killing game itself was so incredibly advanced and difficult tocircumvent. Not only Monokuma and the Monokumerz, but the Exisals, the hiddencameras, the electric barriers, and even the dome itself were all far toodifficult for a bunch of high schoolers to fight back against normally, whichis exactly why Ouma wound up commissioning Miu to make inventions for him andthe others, as her talent was one of the only ones that could actually stand achance against the ringleader’s own technology.

Anyway, this is just my take on it! It’s possible otherpeople might read differently into his comments about robots and machines, butI’ve always taken most of his comments towards Kiibo specifically to be fairlybratty but harmless, while his comments towards the Monokumerz and Monokumausually come across as much more exasperated or bored. I hope this helps answeryour question, anon!