#in context that's almost certainly meant as “...in wonderland”

[cantsayidont]

December 1988. Power returns to the Village, in the authorized comics sequel to THE PRISONER (collected as THE PRISONER: SHATTERED VISAGE), by Mark Askwith and Dean Motter. A female British intelligence officer, recently resigned, leaves on a solo round-the-world sailing trip, only to find herself in the now seemingly abandoned Village, caught in a final deadly game of cat and mouse between the mysterious Number Six and the man once known as Number Two.

Meanwhile, the nameless heroine's estranged husband, MI5 officer Thomas Drake, confronts a mysterious conspiracy within his agency, which may be connected to the former Number Two and his recently published, heavily censored tell-all memoir, The Village Idiot.

An intriguing if necessarily oblique story, SHATTERED VISAGE loses the element of social coercion that's such an important component of THE PRISONER TV show in favor of modern John le Carré wilderness-of-mirrors espionage drama. However, it manages the difficult feat of moving the game on without undoing (or really explaining) what's gone before, and the ways it deploys familiar imagery and themes of the show are pleasingly clever. In particular, it captures the mordant wit and sharp-edged wordplay that characterize the show's best episodes. THE PRISONER creator Patrick McGoohan, notoriously curmudgeonly, reportedly said he "didn't hate it."

[starstruckteacup]

Cottagecore Films (pt. 10)

Elizabeth (1998)

TW: blood, mild gore, torture

starring Cate Blanchett, Christopher Eccleston, Geoffrey Rush, Joseph Fiennes, Daniel Craig, Richard Attenborough

This dramatic retelling of the early years of Queen Elizabeth I’s reign over England opens at the death of Catholic Queen Mary in 1558, whose demise brings her half-sister Elizabeth to the forefront. Elizabeth must battle the unforgiving French abroad, dangerous conspirators at home, and at times even her own advisors as they push their agenda onto the young queen. As she grows in experience, Elizabeth learns to put her own needs before the mischief of the court and the confusion of unbalanced alliances, declares her undying love for her people, and establishes herself as one of England’s strongest rulers to date.

I really enjoyed the strength and grace carried by the entire film. Overall, the film maintained an air of dramatic tension, but never felt as though it strayed from the truth of Elizabeth’s story. I do think that, at times, the film felt perhaps too historical though, like a documentary. At moments of high stress, such as assassination attempts or uncovering the conspirators, the film felt a little too factual instead of emotional. It continued the same tone and level of emotion throughout, instead of raising it and lowering it with each scene. That said, Blanchett performed impeccably as Elizabeth, bearing the dignity of a monarch so fluidly you might think she truly was one. Every emotional response was executed so fully that it was as if the audience was given a real look into her life, rather than watching a mere biography. Even though many of the actors in this film are well-loved, I feel like the film could have done more with them at times. Eccleston played a manipulative villain who truly believed he had the best intentions for his country, but he was given far less screen time than he deserved. I would have loved a deeper insight into the complexity of this character, which Eccleston tried to deliver fully in every scene, but there simply wasn’t enough time with him. Similarly, Craig was on screen for mere moments at a time, with few to no lines, yet the audience was expected to fear him and worry for Elizabeth’s safety. Craig’s character was truly menacing, namely in the scene where he walks down the hall in the dark with his robes billowing, but we saw so little of him that he felt almost insignificant to the overall story. The film was over two hours, but with this cast I would have loved to see a limited series or something of that nature, just to provide more depth to the story. As a side note, I don’t know how historically accurate this film was, so I’m not going to comment extensively on that. If that was something you were looking for, you won’t find it here. 7/10

Pan’s Labyrinth (2006)

TW: blood, gore, fascism, war

starring Ivana Baquero, Maribel Verdú, Sergi López, Doug Jones, Ariadna Gil, Álex Angulo

Ofelia, a young girl caught between her love of fantasy and the horrors of fascism surrounding her, finds herself pulled into a mysterious world after she meets a Faun in a nearby haunting labyrinth. The Faun orders her to complete three tasks to prove that her soul is unchanged and that she remains the true princess of the Underworld. As she struggles to complete these tasks, Ofelia’s life is threatened on many occasions, both from the fantastical world of the Faun and the human world she’s forced to remain in. Horror and death strike as her home falls to the revolution, and they quickly catch up with her, even as she strives to protect the life of her newborn brother and understand who she is truly meant to be.

This was an absolutely fascinating film. The settings alone were absolutely haunting, from the camp to the woods to the labyrinth, but most especially the Pale Man’s table. The attention to detail at every point brought this story to life, and truly filled you with constant dread. The way the Captain carried himself, the pile of worn-down shoes in the corner, the pomegranate on the Pale Man’s table, the microexpressions on every character’s face, Ofelia’s green dress (reminiscent of Alice in Wonderland, especially within the context of the scene)... Every small detail contributed to the story, even when they aren’t actively moving the plot along. There was never a moment for the audience to feel relief or victory, even as Ofelia overcame trial after trial. I spent the entire film waiting for the next terrible thing to happen, but instead of being exhausting like other movies, this one has me thinking about it nonstop. I watched it the day before writing this, and I can only think of watching it again. I feel like it demands a second viewing to truly understand it, which is a marvelously rare feeling for me. The acting is also truly exceptional. Child actors tend to struggle with conveying complex emotion on screen, but Baquero conducted herself with the grace and skill of any experienced adult. She pulled at the childlike wonder in me, but still grounded my adult side with her gravity. Ofelia carried the burden of trauma, but never relinquished the belief in something more; Baquero conveyed that in a most excellent fashion. All of the actors were phenomenal, but Baquero outshone them. Also a brief aside: Jones was incredible as the Faun and the Pale Man. I’ve never felt so wildly uncomfortable or threatened as I did watching the Pale Man walk around. I hated it viscerally from an emotional standpoint, but from the film and acting perspectives, Jones created something mind-blowing. I definitely had to be mentally and emotionally prepared to watch this film, but it truly was a masterpiece. 10/10

The Garden of Words (2013)

starring Irino Miyu, Hanazawa Kana

Rainy days bring lonesome highschooler, Akizuki Takao, and struggling adult, Yukino Yukari, together at the Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden. Takao shares his dreams of becoming a shoemaker, but Yukari says very little about herself, instead focusing on supporting Takao’s goals. When the rainy season ends, the two don’t see each other for the rest of the summer. When school resumes, Takao accidentally learns a devastating truth about Yukari, but it doesn’t change the way he feels about her. His naive love, however, changes everything.

I greatly enjoyed the aesthetic of this film. It took place mostly in the beautiful gardens, with artistic emphasis on the water, trees, and plants that surround the character. It was truly beautiful to look at, and really serves to push the audience toward visiting the actual garden as well. The artists also focused in great detail on the small movements of the characters; each emotional change was reflected in their movements, which you don’t often see done so gently in any realm of animation. The whole film felt incredibly soft and touching, and truly brought to life the small moments that make living so special. Despite the artistic aspect being so beautifully done, I felt the story to be a bit lacking. While I enjoyed Takao’s story, and much of his process was befitting of a 15 year old boy, I felt that he could’ve been given more depth. Basically all of his potential for personality was crammed into the last five minutes, and what we got was beautiful. I definitely felt that the movie could have been longer than 45 minutes to accommodate this character expansion. The same can be said for Yukari. Her twist was monumental to the plot, but we didn’t get to see what the real impact of it was. She says throughout the film that she has to learn how to walk again, and we learn that she has some kind of physical disorder, but we never learn what that is and how it ties into her mental health, which seems to be addressed as an entirely separate point. We got several scenes of her alone, so even though Takao didn’t know much about her (which fit the story well), the audience certainly would have benefitted from learning more about her character, especially for the climactic end scene. Lastly, their relationship was kind of natural, if uncomfortable, at first--it makes sense for Takao, a young impressionable teenager, to fall in love with an older woman--but then it takes a turn for the hugely unhealthy--Yukari puts the burden of her own mental health on the shoulders of a boy--and this is implied to be okay. The film didn’t outright condone it, but it also didn’t condemn the potentially toxic dynamic. I wouldn’t say it was a pedophilic relationship by any means, but it was definitely unhealthy at its core; you could see hints of it over the course of the film, even though the story maintained its innocence. It’s definitely playing with fire though. 6/10

Part One // Part Two // Part Three // Part Four // Part Five // Part Six // Part Seven // Part Eight // Part Nine

[adammills-video-art]

Weekly Video Review #1 - 1/31/21

This is the first post of the Weekly Video Reviews, and focuses upon the notions of culture and shedding light on the invisible. I found the idea of culture based storytelling particularly fascinating in the first video, as I immediately started thinking about my own culture. I identify more with the Midwestern example in the video in which stories are meant to be listened to without interruption, as that is how my family raised me (i.e. to be courteous and attentive). I can certainly agree with the example of the “overbearing New Yorker,” in which people are cut off constantly, as that is intertwined with the fast paced environment of the American Northeast.

I also found the second video rather striking, which is what the image above displays. I found the juxtaposition between the ruthless killing of the Congolese civil war and the almost otherworldly colors quite interesting, as it is rather oxymoronic in the context of such a devastating domestic landscape. In a way, it reminded me of WW1, in which beautiful countrysides were tainted by warfare and artillery barrages. This can be argued as reverse of the work of Richard Moss, in that he turned a bleak landscape into a candy-like wonderland, which is an interesting commentary indeed.

[hekate1308]

Christmas Wishes

I have never written an OT3 fic before, but there’s a first time for everything, right? Enjoy!

Crowley had got it into his head to give Dean Winchester a proper Christmas for once, and he was certain he would succeed. He always did.

Plus, now that he had abdicated, there was more than enough time on his hands.

And, really, there was every chance that being forced to spend time near him would annoy Dean, and wasn’t that the most pleasant part of being acquainted with the Winchesters?

At least that was what he would say if anyone pressed him for his ulterior motives in seeing Dean’s face (hopefully) light up with joy on Christmas Day.

But, as with all good plans, something had to ruin it.

Or rather someone.

“Crowley, why are you here?”

He rolled his eyes at the question and turned to the angel.

“What do you mean?”

“A Christmas market is hardly the place where I would have expected you – “

“First of all, Vienna is beautiful this time of the year –“

“I thought you would be disgusted at the snow –“

“And second of all, where do you get a really good glass of Punsch anyway these days?”

Cas raised an eyebrow, and suddenly Crowley understood. “That’s why you’re here too, isn’t it, Cassie.”

He shuffled his feet. “Sam and Dean deserve a nice Christmas.”

Well. He hadn’t thought much about Moose when he’d made his decision admittedly, but no one needed to know that.

“Fine. So why don’t you just grab your drink and flatter off –“

“Crowley, are you here for the same reason?”

Of course he’d figured it out. The feathered dicks didn’t allow anyone to become the garrison leader.

“Yes” he admitted.

Cas frowned. “It seems rather strange to me that you would want to –“

“Look, I don’t have time for this. I have a feast to arrange. You can either come with me or you can –“

Cas was already falling in step next to him.

Crowley couldn’t say why he had even offered him the chance to accompany him.

Crowley, no, we won’t go to Karaoke –“

“Dean likes it.”

“He liked it when he was a demon. And you didn’t, if I recall correctly.”

“Yes, well, isn’t that what Christmas is all about? To put someone else’s needs before one’s own?”

Castiel frowned. “I don’t think Dean needs karaoke.”

“It’s just an – forget it.”

He was starting to think this wouldn’t be as easy as he’d thought, mostly because of the angel at his heels.

“I fail to see why you are doing this in the first place” he said eventually.

They were busy looking at Christmas decorations.  

“How about an angel on top of the tree?” he gleefully suggested. Castiel frowned.

“Against popular conceptions, we are not –“

“I know, Feathers, I know. A star, then.”

He really wished the Winchesters – Castiel included – wouldn’t be able to get under his skin so easily. Why else would he have dropped the matter? But for some reason, annoying the angel until he got angry and left was not something Crowley wanted to do.

He sighed.

Everything had been easier before Sam had tried to turn him into one of those meat sacks with feelings.

 A few hours later, he was ready to strangle Cas. Or let his frustration out on him in a completely different way (hey, the angel had picked a rather good-looking vessel).

“No mistletoe.”

He had long picked up on the tension that existed between Cas and Dean, and if there was something he didn’t need this Christmas, it was the two of them finally hooking up and leaving him to deal with the most annoying Winchester sibling.

“But it’s a tradition that generated in –“

“I don’t care where it comes from, no. Mistletoe.”

And it is then that Castiel shocked him, for he simply said, “I have been thinking for a while now that you would have nothing against catching Dean under it.”

Crowley really really hoped that he wasn’t blushing, but again, that damn human blood treatment Sam had subjected him to had caused many problems he was still battling on a daily basis. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Cas shrugged. “I believe the phrase humans would use in this context is “takes one to know one””.

Alright, put that on the list of “things he had never expected to hear” as well. “Wait and you’re just... okay with the status quo?”

“I hardly see how it could change, considering it is Dean’s choice” Cas said drily.

Yes, but there was one important thing Cas had failed to take into consideration.

Mainly that Dean wouldn’t hesitate when it came to his angel hitting on him (not that Crowley would have had many objections – as stated before, Cas’ vessel was a sight to behold) while Crowley would undoubtedly be rejected, no matter how much he tried. Dean had made it clear again and again that they weren’t even friends, despite all the howling at the moon they had done, and Crowley would just have to live with it until he got rid of these pesky feelings.

He didn’t answer. There was no point.

They still continued to shop for the holidays, however.

Eventually, Cassie began, “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“I’m not. If I am uncomfortable about anything, it’s about this whole situation. Demons aren’t meant to have feelings for anybody.”

“Dean told me he met two demons once who he believed were truly in love with one another.”

“Demons will do a lot when they’re bored. Might have just pretended for fun.”

“I just think it is futile that you try and rationalize everything by blaming the ritual Sam attempted” Cas said evenly. “You were focusing on Dean long before that.”

“Anyone ever tell you you’re way too blunt, Feathers?”

“Oh yes, Dean lets me know on a regular basis.”

He clearly still hadn’t taught him anything about sarcasm, Crowley thought.

“I have found that usually when it comes to feelings –“

“Oh God, will you shut up already? This is not a sleepover, we’re not having a pillow fight and talking about feelings.”

Cas just shrugged again.

Damn angel had learned much too well from the Winchesters.

Specifically Dean.

And here he was thinking about Dean again, when really, planning the Christmas festivities had supposed to be his strategy to not think of him –

Why had he believed again that that would work?

“Crowley –“

“Let’s just get this over with” he muttered, because it was far easier to live with the truth than to allow himself to pretend that a single member of Team Free Will cared about him for just a second.

On Christmas Morning, the Winchesters woke up to Winter Wonderland in the bunker. Crowley had expected Cas to power down the warding, but instead he’d found eh could just enter the Men of Letter’s old home, no questions asked.

Almost as if the boys wanted him to be able to drop by.

Cas was already busy decorating when he showed up, although the angel certainly had little sense for interior design.

“Not there – the lights just look tacky – why are we even doing this?”

With a snap of his fingers, everything was ready; and soon enough Sam and Dean came stumbling out of their rooms, Crowley’s eyes going towards the older Winchester, of course, as always.

He sighed.

Time to go.

“Cas? Crowley?” Dean looked around. “You do all that?”

“No, it was Santa’s little fairy helpers... Of course we did it, who do you think –“

“Yeah, yeah Crowley” Dean interrupted him. “Whatever. I’ll take a shower, and then I’ll cook. Turkey, everyone?”

It took him a few moments to realize that Dean was including him in the question too, and he nodded.

As the Winchester went to get dressed, Cas quietly told him, “Emotions can be rewarding, too.”

Not in his experience.

And yet...

There was something in Dean treating him as part of the family, as if he had had every reason to beam over on Christmas morning; and even Sam seemed to be resigned to his presence, only grumbling now and then about “boundaries” and “I really don’t need to see that” which didn’t make much sense, but then he was used to such from Moose especially.

It was Dean too who decided that they’d watch Christmas movies after dinner, with him sitting between Cas and Crowley on the couch and Sam taking the chair next to them, now and then throwing them suspicious glances.

Crowley only learned why when the younger Winchester eventually retreated to his room, calling out, “I better not hear anything, jerk!”

“Then put on headphones, bitch!” Dean answered, looking rather cheerful. “Cas, did you get the mistletoe?”

Oh God, he was going to have to watch them make out after all. Before he could escape, however, Cas had handed Dean a branch of the green stuff and he’d responded by –

Dragging Crowley into a passionate kiss.

He really hadn’t expected this, but he had never been one to deny himself a pleasure, and he gave as good as he got.

Crowley would admit he was a little confused when Dean pulled back to give Cas’ tonsils the same treatment, however.

But not for long.

Dean pulled back and stated, “Yes, this will work out fine.”

Crowley caught Cas’ eyes and was surprised at the heat in them.

Alright then.

Yes, this could in fact work out fine.

[ramajmedia]

How I Met Your Mother: 10 Of Barney's Most Inappropriate Pickup Lines

CBS sitcom How I Met Your Mother, which ran for 9 seasons from 2005 to 2014, followed the story of Ted Mosby as he told his children in the year 2030 the long-winded tale about how he met their mother. Central to each of his stories were his four best friends: college roommate and long-time bestie Marshall and his wife Lily, Ted’s once love interest turned close friend Robin, and the womanizing playboy Barney.

RELATED: How I Met Your Mother: 10 Hilarious Memes Only True Fans Will Understand

To say Barney was promiscuous would be an understatement. He loved the ladies, was seemingly successful with them and would stop at nothing to get a girl he saw across the room. Sometimes, however, this led to some really inappropriate pick-up lines that would almost definitely result in a fierce slap in the face nowadays.

10 Soul Boner

“I feel like I've done so much good I have a ‘soul boner.’"

Yes, these words actually came out of Barney’s mouth. He never held anything back and always made his intentions known. In this case, it was a compliment to himself more so than a pick-up line. Yes, even doing good was enough to make Barney randy.

Oddly, Barney speaks these words while serving food to the less fortunate in a soup kitchen. Leave it to Barney to say the most inappropriate things at the most inappropriate time. But he did write a Playbook on how to pick up women, after all, so nothing surprises us about him.

9 Your Body is a Wonderland

“Your body is a wonderland and I want to be Alice.”

Even though so much sleaze came out of his mouth, Barney weirdly never really came across as a sleazy person. But sometimes, he would drop a line like this one that would make us cringe. Would a line like this actually work these days? It might take a minute for a girl to pick up on what he means. The story, of course, is called Alice in Wonderland. So, well, you catch his drift.

It’s almost repulsive, yet these such lines seemed to work again and again for Barney. Sometimes, though, they didn’t. And we’d have to applaud those women for turning their noses at such inappropriate commentary.

8 Bring On The Cheese

“Are your pants made out of a bunch of tiny pictures, because I can definitely see myself in them.”

It’s a slight variation on standard cheesy pick-up lines like “I must be in heaven because I can see an angel.” Except Barney somehow manages to make it both cheesier and more vulgar.

Not only is this line he delivered inappropriate and sexually suggestive, but he also manages to stroke his own ego at the same time. Typical Barney.

RELATED: How I Met Your Mother: 10 Best Songs Featured On The Show 

7 Chicken and…Sex?

“What do you say we go out to dinner, have some chicken... maybe some sex?”

It seems like with each line Barney delivers to a desired companion, he gets more and more crass every time. In this case, he boldly suggests dinner followed by intercourse.

Whether this would be how his date ended up or not, the fact that he tried to pick up women with such a line is baffling. Though watching Barney in action on the show was always entertaining, nonetheless.

6 No Talking

“There are so many things to do with the human mouth. Why waste it on talking?”

We won’t even begin to try and explain what Barney was insinuating here, which was clearly sexual and clearly inappropriate. He’s essentially suggesting that there’s no point wasting one’s breath on silly acts like talking when the mouth can be used for so much more.

If a line like this worked on a girl, it was certainly not the type of girl you’d want to date long-term or bring home to mom.

5 Happy Halloween

“I’m also a horny devil.”

Spoken to a girl at a rooftop Halloween party as Barney donned a devil costume, he pointed to the perky devil ears perched atop his head and declared that he was a “horny devil.”

This line is at least a little cornier than some of his other vulgar and more sexually suggestive ones. Nonetheless, it is still somewhat inappropriate, especially when saying it to someone you just met. But Barney was notorious for such casual banter, especially when he was constantly pulling scams to meet ladies, like pretending to be a wealthy businessman at the airport or interviewing nannies when he didn’t even have a child.

RELATED: MBTI Of How I Met Your Mother Characters 

4 Have We Met?

Barney: “Excuse me, did I sleep with you and then screw you over?” Woman: “No, I don't think so.” Barney: “Dammit! In that case, would you like to go out?”

This line isn’t just inappropriate, but it indicates that Barney has been with so many women, and had so many one-night stands, that it is quite possible he might end up trying to pick up a woman whom he had already been with.

Meanwhile, he makes this perfectly known to the woman he’s trying to pick up with this line, suggesting that perhaps she might be attracted to the fact that he has a ton of notches on his belt and is just looking for a single night of passion.

3 Daddy Issues

“Daddy’s home…”

Someone needs to tell Barney that no girl wants to think of daddy while being picked up by or flirting with a man. It’s unclear where the origins of this pick-up line came from, but chances are it would make most girls turn around and run as fast as they could in the opposite direction.

It’s rude, awkward, and highly inappropriate, and a line like this will never attract the right kind of girl. Then again, maybe the wrong kind of girl is exactly what Barney was looking for with this line anyway. He even went so far as to refer to his own father as “granddaddy” when bringing him along to a club to pick up women.

2 Licking the Liberty Bell

“I wanna lick you all over like the Liberty Bell.”

This one requires some context. After heading to the airport with Ted to pick someone up (which Ted thought meant provide a ride for someone who had just flown in but later discovered that Barney meant something else) the pair ended up flying to Philadelphia and embarking on an adventure. The idea was to do legendary things, and when they came across the Liberty Bell, Barney thought for some strange reason that licking it would be legen- (wait for it) -dary.

So when he meets a woman who works there, he believes this is a fitting pick-up line. Because, well, he did, in fact, lick the Liberty Bell.

1 No Mincing of Words

“Come with me if you want to bang.”

Barney really didn’t mince words when it came to what his intentions were with the women he’d meet. And some of the pick-up lines he got away with were absolutely atrocious, such as this one.

I mean, who really walks up to someone and says such a thing? In today’s day and age, this actually does happen in some respect, but through apps, swipe rights, and digital connections. So perhaps we could call Barney the mid-‘00s Tinder. Before apps like Tinder, there was Barney Stinson who said what people sometimes imply through dating apps, except he did it right to a girl’s face, the good ol' fashioned way.

NEXT: How I Met Your Mother: Every Season Ranked, According to Rotten Tomatoes

source https://screenrant.com/how-i-met-your-mother-barney-inappropriate-pick-up-lines/