#in case people are confused by the organic waste bucket: I have an empty yoghurt bucket thing on my counter that I yeet my organic waste in

[true-blue-sonic]

A story I wrote just now based on this post, wherein I discuss some headcanons I have about Silver and his survival skills. Specifically around my ideas of how he views cooking and eating in the past! Also an Espilver fic because I love these two <3

Word count: 1493 words

Cooking for two sweet-toothed picky eaters is a challenge every day, but luckily Espio likes cooking.

“So today we are making spaghetti. You’ve had it before, you like it,” the chameleon explains, rummaging around in their little storage in the cabinets for his first ingredient: the garlic. With the cloves rapidly freed the ninja places their encasings, the peels, in their tiny organic waste bucket at the sink. No clutter for him while he is cooking, and besides, finally he has someone who actually listens to the manners he’s trying to teach the entire Chaotix. Silver has truly taken a shine to the kitchen as well, popping in every single day to learn more about food and all its peculiarities, and today is no different.

Behind Espio the hedgehog nods most seriously, peering over at the utensil drawer as Espio grabs the things they’ll need. “I’ll help. What are you doing?” follows, as it has every single day since Espio decided he wouldn’t mind having some company in the kitchen, and the chameleon smiles.

“I’m cutting the garlic so it is small enough to cook with. Normal people use a garlic press for this, but unfortunately we live in a household of lunatics, so I need to use a knife,” he tells the other, deftly cutting the cloves into miniscule cubes. Not an issue for a skilled ninja, and besides, it had been him who insisted kitchen devices like garlic presses were a waste of money anyway. As it stands, he is the only one who ever would make use of it, and the chameleon prefers a swift training of his skill with the blade alongside an opportunity to show off to anyone watching him chop up the food at lightning speed. Charmy can’t use any such tools because he is not allowed to cook, Vector’s culinary prowess limits itself to heating up ramen noodles and ruining pudding, and Silver...

Espio turns around to brag about just how perfectly cut his garlic cubes are, right on time to see his beloved pull his hand out of the organic waste bucket and shove all remnants of the bulb into his mouth.

“...Silver,” the chameleon brings out.

A hum follows amidst odd crunching noises Espio rather would not have lent an ear to.

Standing stupefied the chameleon blinks, having half a mind to push his voice into the tone that occasionally works on Charmy when the bee is misbehaving. “Spit. That. Out.”

The hedgehog in question freezes in his curious chewing, face stuck between a vibe of What In The World Am I Doing intermixed with Why Am I Being Scolded. “Vhwat?” follows muffledly, as Espio places his knife on the cutting board and dives towards the other to grab his chin. “Hmgh- Espwioh!”

“Out,” Espio orders, tensing his hold and puffing up Silver’s cheeks... and his beloved coughs as the whole peel gets spat out indeed, and the writhing in the ninja’s arms stops in favour of staring owlishly at the clump on the counter.

“.......Hm,” follows, somewhat disheartened. “That was, uh...”

“Not something we are supposed to be doing, now is it?” Crossing his arms Espio shoots the hedgehog a worried glare... which grows even more worried as Silver vigorously shakes his head.

“No, that’s not what I mean. Tastes great, Es!”

“...It cannot.”

“No, really! It’s... good.”

“Silver, it is waste. We cannot eat this,” Espio explains, lovingly smacking at Silver’s powers as sparks of cyan reach out for the slightly-drool-covered bulb remnants once more. “You stop that. What are you even doing, going through our waste like a raccoon?”

“Es, you always say we can’t waste food! And that stuff is food!” the disapproving retort comes, though now it is the chameleon’s turn to shake his head.

“Tenshi, you are incorrect. When preparing ingredients, there simply are some parts that cannot be eaten. Those have to be thrown away. And that includes the bulb of the garlic; we can only eat the cloves I’ve been cutting.” But it does explain some things he’s wondered about ever since Silver has joined their household, the chameleon muses; namely how the hedgehog often seems two seconds away from rummaging through any bin, eats everything, has become Charmy’s number one plate cleaner when the bee doesn’t want to finish his dinner, and seems to hold some very odd opinions around eating. “And you are not in the ruined future anymore,” Espio adds more gently as Silver opens his mouth for a protest. “I know this might seem like a strange thought, but this is how it works here. Uh, just like how we cook food too, and don’t eat it raw. You found that strange too, right?”

“That is because it is,” the pointed response follows, though mercifully Silver’s eyes drift away from the garlic peels towards Espio’s minced cubes the chameleon still has not been able to brag about. “So I can’t eat those like that either,” gets added slowly, Espio shaking his head with a laugh.

“No, you cannot, that would be nasty... even if I think you actually might be able to but that means I don’t have enough for the recipe and I need to cut more. Speaking of, it’s very nice cubes, is it not?”

Crouching in front of the counter, Espio’s hand at the ready to intercept in case his beloved gets any ideas about giving the garlic a small nibble all the same, Silver studies it. “Tiny,” his verdict is. “...Can’t I just eat one? Just to try it? Maybe it’s great.”

“Just as great as the peel, hm?” Espio can’t help but tease, lifting up one bit of minced garlic with the tip of the knife so Silver’s powers can grab it... and promptly the chameleon laughs at how Silver’s face falls the very moment the stuff enters his mouth, into a look of pure, allicin-induced unhappiness. Living in a ruined future also has given the hedgehog little idea about flavours other than nasty and gross, but that does mean many things can be overwhelming for him, even if said hedgehog merely swallows and pushes a smile on his face once more.

“It’s nice, Es.”

“Liar,” the ninja easily retorts with a smirk.

A deep sigh follows. “A little,” Silver laments, flopping himself against Espio. “Eating food is weird. Never could have thought something like eating would be so complicated.”

“You’ll get used to it in no time.” Fingers moving up to give Silver an encouraging stroke over his quills the chameleon muffles another laugh at the way his psychic’s nose wrinkles. The stench of garlic is clear on his gloves as Espio gives them a whiff himself; not suitable for supporting caresses, that much is certain. “How about you help me with using this garlic to make a very tasty dish, then? You liked the spaghetti the last time,” he proposes as a peace offer instead.

Ears perking up Silver nods vigorously, Espio grabbing a pan from the cabinets. “Fill this for two-thirds with water and place it on the stove, I’ll handle the fire. And after that, grab the spaghetti. We can put it in when the water is warm enough.”

“Will do!” the chipper response comes, garliccy drama seemingly already forgotten as Silver darts away to the sink and Espio uses his distraction to swiftly swipe the garlic peel right into the closable trash can. His perfectly minced and sadly-not-very-appreciated cubes of garlic end up in another pan, alongside the tomato sauce and the package of discounted vegetables... before Espio freezes at a peculiar noise.

“Silver,” the ninja calls out warningly over his shoulder at the crunching sounds of his beloved nibbling a string of uncooked spaghetti, a laugh merely following.

“This one is nice, Es.”

With a flick of the lighter the stove gets turned on, Espio shaking his head as he wrenches the package of noodles from the other’s hands. “Incorrigible, you. Will you try to drink the sauce next if I leave you here unattended?”

“It does look tasty,” the prompt response follows alongside Silver’s golden gaze curiously studying that pan in question, and Espio can only laugh as he quickly intercepts and directs his beloved towards the kitchen chairs instead; from here on there is little the hedgehog can do anyway, as Espio doesn’t want to let him too close to a lit stove yet, and thus his role falls back to being his cheerful encouraging self that makes cooking just a bit more enjoyable. Incorrigible or not, Espio wouldn’t want to have Silver any other way, and besides, it’s nice to finally not have to deal with a picky eater to cook for...

But perhaps he does need to explain the differences between food and waste a bit more clearly, just in case.

Not needing to cook for a picky eater means nothing if he needs to fish Silver out of every trash can because of that, after all.

Author’s notes:

Not originally planned but this fic goes out to my absolute barbarian friend who just monched uncooked spaghetti straight from the packaging while I was scolding her in abject horror, luv you <3

I hope you enjoyed reading!