#in case anyone wodered

[thuviel]

I'm 11 months on T!

We're back in business! I finally increased my dose since my levels were so low for a while, so now I'm on a 3/4 of a normal dose. And it has definitely kickstarted things again. It's like puberty was on pause for a few months and now I clicked the play button again xD So here's how that went:

Shark week still around, but it was a couple days late

Hair has been slowly increasing everywhere, but this month I noticed properly how much it has increased on my forearms and spread down to my hands

The peach fuzz on my face has grown denser and longer, it's starting to feel like I wanna shave it all off. Especially in the sideburns area it's so much longer and darkening

I guess my eyebrows have probably gotten thicker/bushier too, but they were already thick before so it's not something I've noticed. However this week I've noticed quite a few hairs growing between my eyebrows. Not anywhere near a monobrow situation but it was still like, well hello there, is this where you'd like to grow now xD Makes me really curious tho, like do my dad and brother also get that, and I just never noticed bc you gotta be quite close to see? Or do they not get it all? Or do they shave it away?

Voice has dropped a tiny bit, still kinda fluctuates up and down from day to day, but I can consistently force it like one note lower than last month. I seem to have more control when singing so I've really enjoyed singing christmas songs, the way it sounds now makes me happy c:

All the fun puberty things are back again, more hunger, more libido and more pimples, especially on my face. But they're not any stronger than they were in earlier months, so nothing crazy

I tried on a bunch of old t-shirts to see if they fit me now that I'm post op, and I discovered something else unexpected. They didn't fit anymore, not because of my chest but because my shoulders have grown wider! I hadn't even noticed that one, but after seeing how tight and uncomfy my old shirts were I payed more attention and saw that I actually fill out my fancy shirts better now. The shirts from the male section have always been a tiny bit too broad over the shoulders, like you can see the seam didn't sit entirely where it should on me, but now they do! Wild!

[herofics]

Hey i was wodering if you could do a female reader x iida, todoroki, bakugo and izuku all separately with a reader who has a pet who she is very close to that gets complications after a surgery and has to be kept at the vets for a long time and shes been so upset and worried she is nearly constantly crying. Sorry for the long re1uest but it's just to do with stuff happening in my life rn. Love ur writing and thanks <3

I have a three character limit per ask so I dropped Iida, because I feel like I can't write him well anyway. I’m sorry this is happening to you and I hope your pet recovers. Also thank you for liking my writing.

~Midoriya Izuku~

•He has never had a pet, so he doesn't really know how you're feeling, and he hasn't had anyone close to him in that situation either really

•He tries his best to comfort you and tries to help you by telling you positive facts about cases like that

•He gets that you're really on edge, because of the situation and you cry very easily and often and because he loves you, he is kinda on the same wave with you emotionally, and he sometimes cries with you

•When you tell him about all your good times with your pet and all the memories, he listens intently

~Todoroki Shouto~

•Todoroki wasn't actually allowed to have pets when he was a kid, but he does know grief and sadness very well

•He doesn't really know what to say, so he just holds you when you need it and tells you it's gonna be okay

•You're so scared your pet isn't gonna make it, that you can barely sleep, and you sneak into his dorm room to sleep, because he makes it easier

•Todoroki doesn't want to lie to you or give you false hope, so he just sticks to comforting you mostly without words

~Bakugou Katsuki~

•When Bakugou is internally panicking, it comes off as him being extra annoyed

•So when you hang up the phone and come to him crying and not being able to talk properly, he grabs your shoulders and is like "What's wrong? Fucking tell me" 

•Between the sobs you manage to get out what's going on and he's like says he's sorry to hear that

•He hugs you and you cry in his arms for a long time, before somewhat composing yourself

•He tells you that you can cry as much as you want and that he doesn't mind, he wants to be there for you and comfort you

[uxnknownx]

hey y’all should add me on animal crossing my friend code is 2380-7978-4148

[thegirlwhocriedfandoms]

Why is kpop so special to me?

Why is kpop so special to me? It's been 8 years since I've become a kpop fan. Way back year 2009, where everyone thinks you're odd because you like kpop. People will call you an addict, weird, crazy, delusional, and many other harsh words you couldn't imagine. They'll call your faves gay, because they wore make up and extravagant clothes. As a 10 year old that time, I'm easily hurt and offended by that. I know I've been immature at that time because I'll really fight anyone who says anything bad about my faves. My mindset at that time is that, it's okay to call me a freak or a weirdo or delusional, but Never ever say anything bad about my faves. It's funny to reminisce the times when I joined fanwars. Those immature days that I've had. But as I grew older in age and as a kpop fan, I realized a lot of things. There are times that people asks me "bakit ba gustong gusto mo yang mga koreanong iyan? Hindi mo naman sila naiintindihan. Di ka naman kilala ng n mga iyan." (Why do you like those koreans so much? You don't even understand them. They doesn't even know you.) And sometimes I ask myself, "Bakit ko nga ba gusto ang kpop?" (Why do I like kpop?) I always tell them that it's because of their catchy music, woderful fashion sense, and screaming visuals. Which is really true. But what I realized is that it's beyond that. Some people find healing through ballad songs, OPM, Classic, Rock, Raps, R&b, and many other genres of music. But it's Kpop that heals me. I don't even understand the lyrics but I can feel the connection. It makes me calm whenever I'm having breakdowns. It affects my mood. Especially if I'm out and suddenly I'll hear a kpop song randomly playing somewhere, it excites me. But like what I've said, It's way more beyond their catchy music, woderful fashion sense, and screaming visuals. but it's also the artists itself. First, I love their passion and dedication. After watching Produce 101 Season 2, it opened my eyes. Now I understand why I really love them. It's their passion. Their hardwork to achieve their dreams. Their love for what they're doing. Their dedication to reach where they are right now. Honestly, before, I am that kind of fan who's really annoyed when there are new groups debuting because there are so many kpop groups emerging lately that are always using the same concepts. For the past 8 years, my perspective changed and after observing them for a very long time, it made me see the things clearer and wider. It's not easy to become a kpop idol. You have to train hard, work hard. You have to make sacrifices. Just to pursue your dreams. You'll be training for so many years without the certainty of debuting. It's physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. But they'll endure it just to be an idol. And that's why I appreciated kpop idols even more. Rookie or legends. All of them deserves to be gamous, all of them deserves to debut. Second, I realized how ugly the Korean entertainment industry is. That it is not like what we see on tv, and online. It's cruel, ugly, sickening, and disgusting. It's hard to find a company who really cares about the trainees and artists. It's really rare. It's always all about the money. There are so many abuses and maltreatment. Slave contracts, sexual harrassments, mismanagement, unfair treatment, companies who doesn't give their artist's rightful income, harsh manipulations. These are just some of the cruelties in the Korean entertainment industry. The big entertainment and broadcasting conpanies can bully anyone who threatens or diss them. They can ruin your career by manipulating the media. Korean Artists are also often used to block the corruption in the government. If there are big issues, the media will release rumors and issues so that the public's attention will shift. And it may ruin the artists image like what happened to 2ne1's Park Bom. She was accused of using drugs. It was all over the news, and it ruined her career. It was used to block the public's attention to the sewol incident. Same as Exo's Baekhyun and SNSD's Taeyeon's relationship. It was revealed to the public so that their attentions will shift from the sewol incident to the issue. There are also companies who abuses their artists. They're not giving them their incomes rightfully, slave contracts, mismanagement, and the worst, there's this company (I forgot what it is, but it's small) that was said to be sexually harassing their female artists/trainees and if they refuse, the company will not produce their albums and they'll not be funded and promoted by the company. These are just some of the few cruelties of the entertainment industry. Third, I am amazed on how the artists endure all the sasaeng fans just for their dreams. Sasaeng fans are the worst fans in the world. They're the obssessed fans. To the fact that they'll be following their faves anywhere they go (you'll be shocked to know that there are sasaeng taxis who sasaeng fans rent to follow their idols and if they run out of money, they're willing to use their bodies instead to pay for the fare. You know what I mean), they'll be creeping inside their faves dorm, stealing things, hacking their phones and accounts, poisoning them, leaving sanitary napkins with blood on it inside their faves dorm, asking for their faves' sperm cells, hurting their faves (these fans are often the reason why the artists experience car crashes because these fans keeps on following the artist's vans). These are just SOME of their obssessive activities. It's unbelievable and disgusting but yes, it is happening. And it's worst than what you think. (If you want to know how extreme these fans could go, you can look at the web. Search "tvxq sasaeng fans" or "sasaeng fans activities" or "exo sasaeng fans" and you'll be very shocked) The fact that these Idols are enduring these for the sake of their dreams and passions, I am so amazed. Because If I were on their shoes and these happened to me, I'll just give up and leave. But they didn't. Fourth, Their fan service. This is what I loved about Super Junior, Infinite, Nu'est, and Sechskies. Unlike other groups that I stanned, their fan service can't be compared to other groups. Their love and gratefulness for their fans are unexplainable. Ugh. I don't even know how to explain this because their overflowing love for their fans are undescribable. It's self explanatory for fans who are in a fandom. Fifth, their talents are legit. They trained to gain skills, or sometimes they're just born with it. But no one can't deny the fact that Kpop Idols are not talented. Even if you're a hater that always say that they don't have talent. I know that deep inside that they're amazing and you're just envious to them (Haha!) Unlike here in the Philippines, Anyone can release an album as long as you're famous even if you don't have the talent to sing. Sixth, their visuals. Yes when you're new, the first thing that you'll notice is their face but when you get to know them more, it'll be much more than their visuals. In my case, yes I sometimes do look on visuals but If I started stanning someone just because of their visuals, It doesn't last long. But if you're a vocal, regardless of the appearance, I'll definitely stan you. (And also variety skills and humor is a big plus too!) People will say that "Retokada naman iyang mga iyan" (They did plastic surgery anyway) but It's normal to them. And just because plastic surgery is known in Korea, doesn't mean that all of them did plastic suregry. And Lastly, I realized that Kpop has become a part of me. I am not Tintin without kpop. It's planted inside my heart already. 8 years. 8 long freakin' years of ups and downs, of people's criticisms, of people making fun of me being a kpop fan. People may call me delusional, weird, crazy, or a freak. It's okay. I don't care. I've been immuned to it. Kpop makes me happy. It's the only thing that makes me genuinely happy these past few years. It saved me. It saves me. It heals me. You guys may not understand it especially if you're not a fan of any kind but the impact that my faves gave me is much more than what you think. It's more than what you think. I love them so much to the extent that I'll protect them with all my heart. Why? Because their music protected and saved me when I almost pulled the trigger inside me. They're my only companion. Not physically though, but through their music. If I'm feeling really sad, or if I'm having a mental breakdown, their voices soothes my soul and heart. When I'm happy and excited I also listen to kpop because it makes me even more happier. Like what I've read, Music can save lives. Regardless of the fact that you can't understand it. It's the emotion that connects us. Because music has no language barriers. That's why we cannot judge the fans in general. We never know what these fans are enduring. We never know that their faves and fandoms are the only ones that keeps them alive and happy.