#in all likelihood they will probs book at least 2-3 more probably

[whathappenedtomyweekend]

sooo in not-so-fun news: our landlords are selling the house we've been living in since April last year that has been our home and peaceful abode!!! and the estate agency we're with actually sucks balls and so do most of the other estate agencies in town that I've been with!!!! I've been to 7 estate agents today so far and 🎶tell me why🎶 ALL OF THEM have told me that us having two indoor cats is gonna be a problem because I guess fuck us!! right??? that's a thing that should happen on a random fucking Wednesday three weeks before we're set to go on a holiday which we're saving every extra pound towards and are now gonna have to save even more to fucking move into a smaller space!!! how great!!!!

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW5

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week!

—

WALSH ON WILDCARD

TRANSFERS:

OUT: wildcard

IN: wildcard

Sucks to not have a fun WC pod...but couldn't let that get in the way of keeping my diabolical team for this gameweek.

Waking up on Friday and seeing the news around town the writing was on the wall. A couple hours later and the team sort of picked itself. Obviously this weekend has a high likelihood of being a complete mess after the IB and so I tried to choose players with the medium/long term in mind.

GK:

Ryan (cry)

Sticking with Ryan here and trying to do that thing where I just keep the GK instead of fuck off after being bad to chase points from someone who is "better" only to see Ryan start to bank points.

Not keen on shooting myself in the foot here, and although Brighton aren't set up to defend and park...what team with a 4.5 gk does?

DEF:

Lamptea (cry)

Cheap defense incoming.

Doubling up on defense against my team...vomit. Surely this won't come off, but the small boy attacks a lot as long as he figures out how to stay fit is a decent shout for attacking points in any game he starts. Whether he is still standing past 60...another question entirely. Feels like good value, though, and a solid attacking defender so glad to be in on the party if not a little late to it after he's risen twice.

Dallas (WOL)

Not the biggest feels for cleans from Leeds basically ever but he's another good attacking fullback kinda quasi OOP guy with good underlying stats so we'll give him a shot. Don't really know shit about anything with who has a good defense yet so trying to just spread it around and see what sticks. Rotate them and play fixtures. At least he's fun and it'll be more fun to own a Leeds player from now on watching their games. Ayling was in consideration but Dallas seems a bit better stats and shit so just going with that.

Konsa (lei)

Great fixture, amazing actual unreal fixture so clean prob good here. I was looking at Targett but I hate him and he doesn't attack so Konsa seemed a better shout from pod partner when we were discussing it. Having a share of Villa defense seems good as they look good and he's pretty dangerous on set pieces. Another cheap rotational cog who will go in and out of the xi.

MID:

Pulisic (SOU)

Biggest punt in the xi the American is back in. Playing around and talking to pod partner solidified just as a pick that could be a big gainer for me on WC here. We know what he does and now that he is allegedly fit he should go back to shitting points as per. Direct and always in dangerous positions with ridiculous stats he performs like a double digit player not like an 8.3m one. Hoping he can be good in spite of Franklin. Seems like a good fixture for him getting to attack Soton's left side....let's go.

Salah & Mane (eve)

Mo remains and is joined by friend Mane. Pretty straightforward here - Mane looked really good every game so far and Mo is Mo. In a season with many questions and few answers, this is a dead cert. Great players on the best team. Dunno what in hell will happen against Everton but this isn't a short term play.

Son (WHU)

Not completely over the moon in love with this pick but it is.....obvious. Son always performs in FPL no matter who the manager is or what the situation of life is. When he's fit, he gets points. Obviously he's not gonna score 4 and hit triple returns often, but he's just a great player. Being utilized sorta kinda OOP to boot, adding Bale soon will only make them better. At 9m he seems a safe pair of hands.

Sterling (ARS)

Notice a theme here? 5 known quantities and huge dongers in midfield. I know I'm missing out on some value picks in the 6-7m range, but I feel fine with that. City are a bit upside down world at the moment but Raz is still Raz. Can hat on any given week, just like the other four midfielders in my team currently. I still back Pep to get them right and Raz can score goals even when they're wrong. A steady great guy who I know what I'll get.

FWD:

Calvert-Lewin (LIV)

DCL stays. Obvious monster, great guy. Tough fixture but whatevs. Everton going well and fortunate to have only one game per week with Europe starting up this week. Should keep being good.

Brewster (FUL)

There's certainly a chance he doesn't start but I'll run that risk. As you all know I'm big on Brewster as a starter and structured my WC team as such. If he falls on his face after a month or so I'll just double swap him out with one of my mids for a couple of new friends. If not and he looks like he'll tick, then I can keep my massive huge midfield and it'll be so great and fun.

BENCH:

Steele, Walker-Peters, Fredericks, Davis

KWP and Fredericks make up the rest of my defensive five rotation.

KWP is kinda playing wing and Fredericks was looking good with good attacking stats and such. West Ham look good so having a piece there seems good for the long term...and I'm a little bit sorta kinda nervous about Masuaku long term keeping his place.

Soton are a good team, and so just feels fine-ish to get him. I was looking at Ward...but fuck me Joel Ward like. If I had a better idea who was starting CB for us I probably would've gone there as KWP is by far my least favorite of the five I am on but I can see that he's a reasonable FPL pick and good rotational piece.

I should be able to find 3 from these 5 each week without too much of an issue, so we'll see how it goes. I honestly can't remember the last time I did this....maybe 3 or 4 years ago. Throwback to the old days of 5x4.5 defense here we go.

Davis is just a ded guy out there at 4.4m last on the bench. Not too big of a deal to carry a blank player to me and he is low key the only other fit striker on the Villa books so if something happens to Watkins...you never know.

CAP:

Pulisic (SOU)

Time to punt.

Pod partner gave me the courage and in a week where there is no standout that I like why not punt and have fun? I've got myself covered with the other guys, mostly, anyways so we'll see how it goes. Hopefully he starts :D

—

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: De Bruyne

IN: Grealish

Short term plan is turning Kev, Foden, and VVD to Jack (done), Mo, and another semi-premium defender I feel confident holding long term maybe Semedo or something like that.

I was thinking of prepping for a Werner to Kun move but I don’t see that as being just one week away so I might have time there before jumping on Kun.

I really wanted to have 2 FT next week after this clusterfuck week followed by UCL so here I am... Jack has a fantastic fixture Leicester are really a fucked up mess with all their injuries and Jack / Villa are flying. His move to LW and the upgrades throughout the team really has me buzzing for him as a FPL asset. Following it.

GK:

Martinez (lei)

Great fixture. Leicester are an aforementioned fucking disaster right now and very injured and Villa are looking great. Very cleanable come on you Villains.

DEF:

Lamptey (cry)

Good clean fixture but the young boy is still knocked and I’m worried about his health. Come on Tariq really need to trust you going forwards.

van Dijk and Alexander-Arnold (eve)

Not expecting a clean here but also could be a grindy 0-0. Ancelotti has done well vs. the reds last couple years so I don’t feel great about it but also still VVD and Trent are the best so... ya know... not all bad.

MID:

Sterling and Foden (ARS)

Kev out in theory makes Foden more likely to start? I can hope at least...

Raz is great I’m not worried about him, and while Arsenal are doing better defensively it’s still a big ask to shut this City side down. Though no Kev and no #9 is troublesome for City.

Grealish (lei)

My thoughts are above in the transfer section but yeah Jack is putting up humongous superstar numbers and looking it too up there at LW. Keep it up Jack. Could be a guy I keep all season.

Rodriguez (LIV)

Obviously really tough matchup but Hamez is just unbelievable so you set and forget him. Also a lot better to be at Goodison instead of Anfield so I could see Everton getting something and if they do then that usually goes through Hamez.

FWD:

Calvert-Lewin (LIV)

DCL is great doesn’t really require words at this point.

Wood (wba)

Wood to Brewster was definitely in my thoughts this week but I think you cannot ever transfer out an attacker playing against West Brom or Fulham this season that’s just pure blasphemy.

Werner (SOU)

Two weeks of not following shit definitely made me feel better about owning Timo then before. Chelsea are getting their superstar wingers back soon and they’ll be way too much firepower for most teams in the league to handle. On paper this should be a great fixture for pace in behind Southampton’s really shitty defenders and high line. Come on Timo.

CAP:

Werner (SOU)

Cap gave me a headache this week and it came down to a coinflip between Jack and Timo.

I honestly think Jack is probably a little more likely to get any return like an assist or even a clean point+assist type of little ding dong but I think Timo is more likely to haul points in what could be a very back and forth high scoring match.

Brace+ type of haul is what I’m gunning for with my cap soooo yeah here we go. Sorry to the guy who asked on Friday My Life about capping Timo... Here I am.