#in a very genuine WE ARE HAVING FUN I AM THROWING YOU LIKE A RAGDOLL AND WE ARE BONDING kind of way

[tache-noire]

i need somebody to join me in my lance archer/fuego del sol rarepair hole

[doctorguilty]

omg i forgot to talk about the full contact haunted house!!! omg ok ok 

subtly horny on main im Sorry 

omg ok it started with like. a non-contact section as like, a warmup, but even that was more involved than I expected!! more than the regular haunted house I went to and ones I remember in the past! all the actors were like. so into their characters and looked like they were havin so much fun and like i said last time.. i’m a very perfect Participant cause I get genuinely scared and I also get immersed in the whole like, roleplay immediately and respond like,timidly and stuff and they are just SO entertained by that! 

so it started with a corn maze thing and right away there’s these like monster girls spooking me and stuff but omg there was this scarecrow guy like. who was RIDICULOUSLY hot,,, with like FANGS and shit... who separated me from bog and made me get down and crawl through the maze into a dead end and like, omg i was like literally getting scratched up by whatever it was around me doing that!! and dirty and leaves all over my clothes n shit! and i was backed up on the ground and the scarecrow dude was like looming over me and threatening me or whatever and he gets like really close to my face and says like “I bet you’re in this position a lot” and im like JKDSAHKSAFHDSKGDFS wowo fucking DIE s !!!!!!!!

and then eventually i get chased out to the end and there’s like this, crucifix, and the girls tell me to get up and stand on the platform and put my arms on my cross , and I do, and they started laughing and rocking it back and forth as i held on like holy shit thats the NON contact part omfg!! 

then the contact part had different thremes like one of the early ones was a clown that smeared fake blood on my face and made me and bog crawl into a box and shut us in and like hit the box with a bat and shit ajdhkdf!!! and there was other themed rooms like, clowns, a butcher/cannibal theme one, there was one that was like! a doll room with doll parts everywhere and this lady actor held out hands and played ring around the rosie of course ending with like WE ALL DIE!! like ,, ass that was cute!! and she pushed me around laughing and called me a puppet like wow , you own me tbh 

a lot of it was getting pushed and shoved and people getting close to my face and wiping blood on it or saying threats in my ear but it was like super cool how everyone had a story like it wasnt just, walking through quickly like there were rooms you completely stop as a character goes through their narrative with you like there was, admittedly Problematique but you know how it is, like a Crazy Person in hospital gown but I really really liked her roleplay objectively like she had a cute/spooky story, like listen im mentally ill and ive been to the ward i have rights, but anyway she leads us to her friend who was supposed to be a little girl (like not played by a little girl)but shes like, violently wants to be friends like hugs me and then like snaps immediately and shoves me back like omg i honestly wish i could go through a second time for the Stories 

OH and at one point i got shut in a coffin that was cool omg!!!! 

omg but the best part. like i cant stop thinking about it. this burly lumberjack guy grabs me and shoves me against the wall outside the next little house to go in, and he says “you like that don’t you”  and i just fjsdfksdg instinctively responded “maybe” like really sheepishly, and the like hillbilly friends laugh and shove me into the next place and I was alone at this point and I hear one of them shout “she likes it slim!” which i guess is a codeword,,, because. im in almost pitch darkness and i can barely make out like, part of the clothes of some big guy in the room, and he grabs me and throws me, and i mean THROWS me, into the wall full force like rocking the planks of the wall with a big bang,  and im so stunned i just stand there and he grabs me again, drags me forward and throw me into another wall, full force no hesitation, it happened like. almost 10 times or something?!?? i cant even see where the walls are. its just darkness and my back hits it... i didnt even scream or nothing i just like yelped when i git the wall but i was otherwise quiet i was like,,,, just in some wild mental state.. until finally he threw me towards the next hallway and at that point i like toppled over onto the ground and like, shambled back up and through the door .... 

i dont even know how to fully explain it but. i cannot overstate how much i enjoyed the fact that happened... like you know how i complain how everyone thinks im weak and fragile, like, emotionally, and physically? everyones scared to touch me, scared i’ll just shatter or something, i am only 117 pounds and not super tall or big i guess.. and i look young and i guess innocent....... no matter how much i tell people i like KNOW that i like roughhousing they hesitate and go easy on me and i hate it so much .. like i know im sore all the time from having a shitty body prone to joint pain or whatever but my pain tolerance for just like, getting roughed up is so high??? so im just like. this dude. bless him. he sees me, a little twink looking mf (though also afab which was everyones impression of me which is also like! relevant to the whole deal with my alleged fragility) walk in and doesnt think nothing of it. he just fucking throws me like a ragdoll over and over  ......like, thats what i payed for thats what i wanted, FULL CONTACT and i wasnt shirked out of that for being small!! because thats what usually happens! everywhere! i wish i coulda thanked him personally like i hope wherever he is he knows i appreciated him sm.... weird sadist man in the dark .. you’re my hero 

HWAHH thats like! the long and short of it though, i came out covered in fake blood and. in total bliss like!! that was probably one of the most incredible experiences of my life, i dont know where else you can go and just. pay to get beat up by actors roleplaying monsters and shit.... im honestly sad i have to wait another year to go back ...... im so glad i did it though, and tbh it was WAY less jumpscares than other things because i imagine the point is more the roleplaying!! which im so like into!!!! 

omg and like. my legs have bruises on them and one of them has a DEEP purple sizeable bruise that like, dully hurts still . and im just. ecstatic about it, nobody was too scared to hurt me ... /w\ finally i feel.. so respected !!  

[kayfabejake]

WWE Survivor Series 2018 PPV Review

I mean, I’m not expecting it to top TakeOver of course, but I am pretty excited for this PPV. Let’s go ahead and get started.

Date: 11.18.18 / Arena: Staples Center - Los Angeles, CA / Attendance: 16320 / Tagline: N/A

Women’s Survivor Series Match Nia Jax, Tamina, Mickie James, Sasha Banks, & Bayley “Team Raw” def. Naomi, Asuka, Mandy Rose, Sonya Deville, Carmella “Team Smackdown” Sole Survivor: Nia Jax in (20:09)

Bayley and Sasha inserted last second? Okay, I like it

Crowd is hot at first but seems to have cooled down unfortunately

Wonderful Thesz Press off the top rope by Mickie James. What a pro

Dissent between Deville and Rose

GOD THE MARKETING OF THIS SHOW IS SO ANNOYING WE ALL KNOW SMACKDOWN IS THE BETTER BRAND

“Well Cole, you’re an idiot.” GO OFF GRAVES

Backstabber into Banks Statement is a dope sequence

Asuka looking mildly vicious? What’s this?

Nia Jax’s heat is absolutely nuclear. I’m honestly starting to suspect the whole thing with Becky is a work like Jericho says.

Jax & Banks vs Asuka is a sick matchup

Lol yeah Jax throws Banks off the top rope. Imagine not thinking you’re being worked here

Becky Lynch run in?

No! Jax is the Sole Survivor. The fuck?

My Rating [2*] / Daddy Meltzer’s Rating [2.75*]

Seth Rollins pins Shinsuke Nakamura in (21:26).

Fuck, what a cool matchup. Yet another moment where I just sigh and remember how much I love wrestling

Shinsuke rocking the blue, not an awful look! The deep V is hawt

COME ONNNNNNN yess Shinsuke get in this man’s head

The feeling out phase is going on too long here

“Nakamura is also an American hero” yes, Graves, he is. I agree

Absolutely brutal punishment on the outside between both guys

They keep putting over Rollins’ head not being in the match but its not really showing in the match itself

So many fucking rest holds OMG. Both these guys are so dynamic, why is the match so slow?

Rollins dumps Nak off the side aaaaaand the suicide dive! The double suicide dive! The crowd calls for a triple and ROLLINS OBLIGES! 

Flying springboard clothesline from Rollins!

A badass spinning kick from Nak

High impact superkick from Rollins...wow, that was brutal

Rollins reverses the triangle hold into a bucklebomb on Shinsuke!

Rollins does the superplex roll-through into Falcon Arrow is super cool but...he does it constantly. always impressive but i knew exactly what was coming when he went up there

Reverse exploder from Nakamura sets up Kinshasa, misses, Rollins counters into a two count

Curb stomp and Rollins beats Nakamura. Cooooooool, man. Not boring or uninteresting at all considering the lack of interference or anything.

My Rating [3.5*] / Daddy Meltzer’s Rating [3.75*]

Sheamus & Cesaro “The Bar” w/ The Big Show def. Akam & Rezar “AoP” w/ Drake Maverick in (09:04).

What the fuck is this match lol. Insane skill on display with the Big Show just standing around.

If they’re putting over Maverick’s ability to make AoP tag champs...are they technically burying Ellering?

Punch, Cesaro, punch away! Again and again!

a pretty sweet double hot tag spot and Sheamus goes ham

Drake Maverick fucking pisses himself, but that’s a distraction and AoP roll up Sheamus after a double team hit. Jesus christ this is so cringey. You could also see Drake grabbing at his crotch to get the gimmick going. Boring with an incredibly bad finish

My Rating [1*] / Daddy Meltzer’s Rating [1.75*]

Cruiserweight Championship Match Buddy Murphy [c] pins Mustafa Ali in (12:19)

Right out of the gates they’re going hard, insane flip by Ali off the top rope and onto the side

And a massive fucking push into the barricade from Murphy to Ali jesus

These guys are insanely good but they probably need two TakeOver type events a year in order to make me feel invested in the stories at all

Some fucking comically complicated and impressive spinning DDT from Ali, holy shit

Ridiculous Spanish Fly by Ali off the table

Vicious powerbomb into sit down powerbomb by Murphy

“This is awesome” chants kick in, and it’s seeming like they’re turning down crowd noise here--I can’t imagine why to be honest

Dope match but Itami / Murphy the other week was better tbh

My Rating [3.75*] / Daddy Meltzer’s Rating [4*]

Men’s Survivor Series Match Bobby Lashley, Finn Balor, Dolph ZIggler, Drew McIntyre, & Braun Strownman “Team Raw” def. The Miz, Jeff Hardy, Samoa Joe, Rey Mysterio, and Shane McMahon “Team SmackDown” in (23:58)

Already pissed because Balor has to wear a fucking shirt

CHA CHING CHA CHING HERE COMES SHANE O FUCKING MAC

Claymore Kick from McIntyre to Joe and IMMEDIATELY pins Joe. Fuck that. The crowd agrees and chants bullshit.

Shane O’Mac throwing them potatoes at Ziggler lmao

I understand he’s not a great wrestler, but I will never ever understand the vitriol of some of the Shane hate. He’s so fun and so willing to put his body on the line

a pretty great story being told here with SmackDown being able to cooperate and mack up for the difference in size and skill while Raw has insane amounts of power but can’t work together

SHANE MCMAHON OFF THE TOP TURNBUCKLE ONTO THE ANNOUNCE TABLE YES KING

Such a stiff stomp from Balor he would up falling on top of Miz omg

BALOR JUST POPPING THE FUCK OFF WHAT CHAOS

Mysterio pins Balor, damn

Lashley just fucking up Mysterio

OH MY GOD SHANE ISNT GONNA GO COAST TO COAST ON ZIGGLER BUT HE DOES AND HE PINS DOLPH

SHANE IS NOT GOING TO GO COAST TO COAST A SECOND TIME ON LASHLEY WHAT THE FUCK BUT HE TRIES AND GETS DECKED BY BRAUN ON THE SIDE

Shane is the last one left for SmackDown. Get ready for some bullshit that will make the internet mad lmao

Or...not. Raw just fucking wins. Ok. What the hell. This is dumber than Shane shenanigans.

My Rating [3*] / Daddy Meltzer’s Rating [3.75*]

Ronda Rousey def. Charlotte Flair by DQ in (14:11)

Not smooth or technically sound, really, but absolutely brutal and believable

SPEAR FROM CHARLOTTE ON A FIRED UP ROUSEY GODDAMN

Ronda is really good at selling that leg, I was genuinely concerned at multiple points

RONDA HITS THE PIPER’S PIT THAT LOOKS VICIOUS

Charlotte viciously attacks with the Kendo stick is this a HEEL TURN? A DQ finish but goddamn do i love this

CHARLOTTE WITH THE CHAIR

NATURAL SELECTION ONTO THE CHAIR ROUSEY IS SO FUCKING BLOODIED

THE CHAIR AROUND RONDA’S NECK HOLY FUCK

where were you when Ronda was kill

such props to Ronda for taking this beating

All of a sudden Rousey looks very mortal and I love it

My Rating [4.25*] / Daddy Meltzer’s Rating [4.25*]

Brock Lesnar pins Daniel Bryan in (18:43)

So...is Bryan gonna win via Heyman screwjob? Because the commentators keep putting over how Lesnar is absolutely guaranteed to win

Bryan just fucking around with Lesnar lmao

“I’m...legit concerned for Daniel Bryan” -Renee Young

Lesnar just fucking ragdolling Bryan

Bryan is “out”

yeesh...just what the fuck

REVERSAL WHAT THE FUCK

THE YES LOCK

THE YES LOCK

Lesnar wins. I can’t believe I let my hopes get up. Fuck.

My Rating [4*] / Daddy Meltzer’s Rating [4.5*]

Overall PPV Grade: B

One of the better main roster PPVs of 2018, Survivor Series had an incredibly strong card despite the loss of Becky Lynch. The SS matches themselves were a mixed bag but overall enjoyable, and Bryan vs. Lesnar as well as Flair vs. Rousey tore the fucking house down. Really solid stuff.

-11/20/18