#in a few weeks it will be a YEAR since 3x13

[simmosa]

my house of stone

your ivy grows

now i'm covered in you

[coffee-in-rain]

Vulnerable Hannibal Fic Rec List

Updated 11/23/2024 with five new additions located at the bottom of the page! A few of these fics are mine, but the rest are some of my favorite fics I've ever read that feature vulnerable Hannibal in various seasons, AUs, and post-canon.

shrike (to your sharp and glorious thorn):

Will begins to notice a change in Hannibal's behavior post-fall, and that he's become something akin to a fretting housewife.

The Ache Against The Wind (Rewritten):

3x13 AU: Will travels into an alternate dimension after plunging into the Atlantic and is confronted with the unexpected aftermath following the removal of Hannibal's toilet in the BSHCI.

Pareidolia:

Six weeks post-fall, Hannibal suffers from a seizure during dinner.

Je Te Laisserai Des Mots:

Six months have passed since Will pulled them over the cliff. Even in light of their progressing relationship, much of Hannibal still remains a mystery to Will. For reasons unknown, he’s begun to pull away. (A sequel to Shrike--my housewife Hannibal fic!)

Between The Hour Of Reprieve:

At the cliff house, Hannibal receives a much-needed-hug.

A Cabin In The Woods by KoolJack1:

Hannibal is thirteen and runs away from the orphanage when he feels that a fate of the elements will be better than the fate of abuse. He finds a small cabin in the woods, thinking warmth will be all he finds. He also finds Will. But who changes who?

Recipricol Alchemy by Scifibabe:

In the silent echoes of his dreams, Will Graham treads a line blurred between control and chaos, each step drawing him inexorably towards claiming Hannibal as his own. It's a perilous dance on the edge of darkness, where the thrill of possession whispers of a transformation too profound to resist.

Hold Me, Don’t Let Me Go by sourweather:

It's a few months after the Fall when it finally hits him. Hannibal has barely been touched in 3 years. And Will won't let it go on for another moment.

Hosanna In The Highest by sainthannibal:

During the fall, Hannibal receives the brunt of the injuries, which leaves him unable to care for himself. Will discovers how much he enjoys taking care of him.

You Made Me Soup by itsybitsylemonsqueezy:

Hannibal comes down with pneumonia while incarcerated. Will decides to make him some soup. Absolutely no one thinks it's strange that Will comes to give his ex soup when he finds out he's sick. No one at all finds this suspicious. At. All.

The Boy Under The Monster’s Bed by Wr4tttttthh:

There were deep wounds that needed healing, new and old, physical and otherwise.

Delicate Ghost by hannigramcracker & TimmyJayBird:

She was different- not the ghost of his memories, but something about this bloodied child ripped right at Hannibal's chest, and left him drowning in a cold snow he thought he had left in his childhood, that he had locked away within his skull. Drowning, with only one hand to grasp at, one body to cling to. One man to work him through the trauma and remind him what life was.

You With Those Nails, Me With This Cross by TheBitterKitten:

Will goes too far.

The Distance Is Quite Simply Much Too Far For Me To Row by softhan:

Hannibal is having a rough time recovering from his injuries post-fall, and retreats into himself to avoid confrontation with Will while he's still weak and ill. Having to play happy husbands hardly helps.

my all time fave Hannibal whump fic. the way he's scared Will is disgusted by his accident? eternally sobbing. forever recommending this to anyone who is searching through this rec list.

Silk and Lace by jonnimir:

Bedelia leaves Hannibal and Will a gift at the house on the cliff.

Not So Fast by scifibabe:

Hannibal wakes from a heated dream with a need that can’t be ignored—and Will, half-asleep but all too eager, is more than happy to help. What begins as a midnight indulgence quickly spirals into an overwhelming game of push and pull, as Will’s relentless appetite pushes Hannibal to the edge and beyond. Kinktober Day 10: Overstimulation + Face-Sitting

Hush Now by scifibabe:

What starts as Will stitching up Hannibal's latest hunting injury turns into something else entirely when a teasing "let Daddy take care of you" slips out. It's meant to be a joke--until Hannibal's reaction tells a different story. One playful push leads to another, and soon enough, they're both realizing they might be into this a little more than they expected. Kinktober Day 19: Fisting.

I truly cannot recommend Hush Now enough! It'll live rent free in my mind and heart for the rest of my life ♡

The Antidote To Grief by incidentsofunkownorigins:

On Will's idea, they visit Mischa's grave. What Will had hoped to be a healing moment of closure breaks something in Hannibal and he is the only one who can put the pieces back together.

this is such a beautiful take on Hannibal and Will visiting Lithuania together and how that would impact Hannibal. ♡

Pulse Point:

Post-Fall, an injured Hannibal awakes from an erotic dream, desperate and needy, aching for Will's touch.

Marveling at a Spoon by scifibabe:

After a gourmet dinner, Will Graham and Hannibal Lecter decide to indulge in something a little more... pedestrian—a joint. As the smoke settles and their usual control begins to loosen, Hannibal finds himself experiencing a sensation he never expected: a heightened sensitivity that unravels him under Will’s teasing touch. What starts as a curious experiment in relaxation quickly turns into a surprising discovery, one that leaves even the meticulous Hannibal completely undone. Will is all too eager to take advantage of his newfound knowledge, and Hannibal, for once, is too overwhelmed to resist.

We Are Now Among The Ruins by ADeedWithoutAName:

Hannibal survived the fall, but not unchanged. He intends to give Will the only gift he now can, and Will intends to honor him in the only way that matters.

i rarely read MCD, but this one is so worth the pain. i am eternally sobbing from this 😭 i also cannot recommend this one enough!!

Something Sacred by scifibabe:

In the quiet aftermath of their survival, silence has taken hold. Hannibal hasn't spoken since the night they washed ashore, his voice swallowed by their shared trauma. Will, haunted by the absence of words and the weight of unspoken things, has learned to reach Hannibal through touch, through the quiet rituals of care. When the strain of Hannibal’s pain becomes too much to hide, Will draws a bath—an unspoken offer of comfort. But today is different. Today, beneath the surface of familiar rituals, something stirs. As the warmth of the water surrounds them, walls begin to crack, and a fragile trust, once guarded so fiercely, blooms into something more intimate and vulnerable than either of them anticipated. In the quiet steam of the bath, two men find solace in each other’s arms, where tenderness can no longer be ignored.

this was so beautiful and soft omg. forever wailing about Hannibal asking Will to join him in the bath. ♡

A Pinch Of Salt In The Wound:

Renderered mute and bedbound post-fall, Hannibal begins to spiral.

You Believe Me Like A God:

Hannibal becomes severely injured post-episode 3x13.

compimento by cervviidae:

Hannibal learns what it's like to be Will's husband.

one of the most beautiful fics i've ever read that explore post-fall hannibal being loved with genuine tenderness and affection by Will. one i'll forever recommend.

Solace In Being Heard by air_of_the_Waterfall:

Hannibal is having terrible nightmares, and Will comes up with a rather unexpected method of helping him get a full night’s sleep.

i love that this offers such a unique look into Hannibal's childhood trauma and how it would impact his sleep. can't recommend it enough!

Bright Burn by Shotgun_sinner:

Hannibal suffers life-threatening injuries post-fall. Will makes decisions to save Hannibal, while trying to recover the life with him that he's only just realized he wanted. How far will he go to keep what's his?

crave, then succumb:

Hannibal receives a second hug post-fall, while high as a kite on morphine, and ends up unraveling in Will's arms.

chimera of the chapel by bleakmidwinter:

When Will Graham wakes up from a coma three months after the fall, Jack reveals that Hannibal Lecter didn't survive. Outside the realm of Hannibal's influence, Will decides to discover the full truth behind the world's sudden and seeming falsehood. Everybody seems to hold their own opinion on Hannibal's fate, but Will knows better than anyone that trust and honesty are as elusive as death.

[opalimagines]

Summary: 3x12 and 3x13 aftermath (trying to avoid spoilers just in case)

Not requested. I couldn't resist this idea.

Character: Sylvester Pemberton (Starman)

Warning: Major spoilers for 3x12 and 3x13, implied dubious consent, angst with a happy ending

Reader: Neutral

"Hey..."

Pat spoke softly, making you look up from the sleeping figure your eyes had been resting on.

"Hi, Pat," you greeted as you shifted in the uncomfortably hospital chair that you had frequented over the past few weeks.

He slowly walked over, hands in his pockets, and you didn't miss the way that his gaze also turned to Sylvester's unconscious body where it laid on the bed. He took the chair next to you and sighed. "How long you been here?"

"An hour, maybe. I'm not sure."

Along with Charles, and even The Shade, if you were feeling generous, Pat was one of your very oldest living friends. Always caring, always a good man, always a hero in his own right, and especially in the last year as he guided the new JSA. Even decades ago, he was easy to talk to and there to listen. And you supposed that was why even your shame couldn't stop you from telling him what had been troubling you in the weeks since the battle with Ultra-Humanite.

"I'm so sorry, Pat." You twiddled your fingers nervously, eyes on the tiles instead of on him. "I should've figured out that he wasn't Sylvester so much sooner."

"Hey," Pat said in a comforting tone as he reached up to rub your shoulder. You had been seeing 'Sylvester' during the few months before the truth came out, and while you hadn't said how far it got, Ultra-Humanite let enough slip over shared beers that Pat assumed you felt more than a little violated. "It's not your fault, okay? He had all of us convinced."

"But...I don't know. I was so happy to find out that Sylvester had always been in love with me too, and it blinded me. That stupid ape used those feelings to manipulate me. I should've seen it. Known that it was all an act, and that Sylvester never saw me as anything but a teammate, or a friend at most."

"What are you talking about?" When you looked up, Pat's face was nothing but disbelief and confusion. "Trust me, Sylvester did love you. You know how many times I tried to convince him to tell you how he felt? Too many to count." He glanced at his best friend's body once again. "But he never did, because he thought you deserved someone better. Someone who could give you everything you wanted."

Tears pricked at your eyes and finally rolled down your cheeks, your heart aching, because you knew Pat would never lie about this. "I wanted him, Pat," you answered with a soft sob. "I loved him."

Pat put his arm around you and squeezed your shoulder. "Well, if his brain was preserved, we'll find him and bring him back, and you can tell him that yourself."

You scrubbed the tears away with your sleeve and gave your friend a small smile. "Thanks, Pat."

He smiled back and gave your shoulder one last pat before moving his arm from you.

You looked at Sylvester's sleeping body again, not thinking of the horrible, dead brain that resided there, but of him finally waking up as himself.

You hoped the Ultra-Humanite had lied about one more thing, and that the man you loved was still out there.

You were alone at home when you heard a knock on your door. No one had called or messaged you about coming over, and in your years of being a superhero, you learned to be cautious. But when you opened the door and saw who was on the other side, your fists unclenched and the tension in the rest of your body lessened.

"Sylvester."

Instead of a greeting, Sylvester stepped inside and closed the door behind him, enveloping you in a tight hug. Even though he'd been told of your survival, seeing you alive and well after you were seemingly killed on that awful Christmas Eve had him overcome with happiness. You, Pat, and Charles had survived with him, and there was a new team carrying on the legacies of your friends. So much bad had happened, but there was some good too.

"If I were anyone else, I'd still be in there. I'm completely healed thanks to the cosmic energy I've absorbed over the years. All I've got left are the scars, which Mike told me were badass. Jury's still out on that one." Sylvester pulled away from you, as reluctant as you were to let go. "When Pat told me you were alive and here in Blue Valley, I was...I hoped you'd come visit."

You wrapped your arms around him and held him close, your eyes shutting as you sighed. "I didn't know you'd been discharged yet."

"I wanted to. I should have," you said, crossing your arms over your chest. "It's just...Did Pat manage to catch you up while you were in the hospital?"

"Mostly. He told me about the ISA, Eclipso, and Ultra-Humanite." The last name was said with a special sort of venom. But the Ultra-Humanite was gone forever, along with the other two monsters that stole his body and his life. "And I met everyone. The new JSA, I mean. Everything they've done in just one year...I think if our friends were here, they'd be proud of them."

When he told Pat to find someone else to carry the torch, he hadn't envisioned his friend's 15 year old stepdaughter being the one to do it. After all that Pat had told him, about how she started a new team of heroes and defeated worse villains than he had ever faced at her age, he was glad that the world had a Stargirl.

"I agree. They're good kids." Your small smile at the thought of the new JSA quickly disappeared. "But what I'm getting at is that...when Ultra-Humanite was pretending to be you, we were, um, involved."

The moment of silence as your words sank in were almost too much to bear, because you'd been dreading this since the discovery of the lab that held his brain. You were ready for the worst whenever Sylvester spoke.

He wasn't angry at you, not at all. No, he hated that damned ape even more for using you. For manipulating and hurting you. Not for the first time, he wished he'd been the one to destroy the Ultra-Humanite's brain for good.

But he did his best to hide his anger anyway, because the guilt in your features was heartbreaking. "Pat did say there were some things you should tell me yourself..."

Tears welled up in your eyes, even as you tried to blink them away. "I never stopped loving you after you died, and I wanted you to be alive again so badly. When he figured that out, he used it against me. So I...Once we finally found your brain and knew we could bring you back, I started feeling this fear that you would be–I don't know–disgusted with me for what happened. And if you are, I understand."

"I'm not." He reached up to wipe away the hot tear that rolled down your cheek, and he let his touch linger there for a moment. Your words had his mind spinning all over the place, because not only did you just say you loved him, you also seemed to think that he could ever not love you. "The way I hear it, he was pretty convincing. He pried information out of my brain and did his research to fill in any gaps. I can't blame you, or Pat, or anyone else for thinking he was the real deal."

Though not entirely reassured, you gave him a wobbly smile and embraced him once again, holding in another sob.

Sylvester rubbed your back and whispered in your ear. "Oh yeah, and I love you, too. Always have."

You pulled back to look in his eyes, and you wondered how the hell you never saw it before. As much of an ass as you knew Sylvester could be most of the time, there was a warmth and sincerity in his eyes. There was love. The Ultra-Humanite had shown none of that, because underneath his role as Sylvester Pemberton, he hated you as much as he did everyone else in the JSA.

Giving him enough time to stop you if he wanted–and he absolutely did not–you moved your arms to circle his neck and pull him into a kiss that you'd both waited so long for. Sylvester held you close, kissing you back eagerly, because he was alive and he had his body back and he was with you.

But the moment he felt your fingertips brush one of the smooth scars on the back of his head, he quickly broke the kiss and let go of you. He could see the confusion on your face as you opened your mouth to speak, but he started before you could.

"I-" Sylvester reached back and touched the same scar you had, and he could vividly remember the pain as Dragon King put the saw to his skull and cut him open like one of his lab rats. He'd lived it over and over again before the Pat and the JSA finally saved him. "I'm more screwed up than I ever was before, and that's saying something. I can't put you through this."

"Syl..." You grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand back, gently taking it in your own. "I can't begin to imagine what this has been like for you, but I'm here for you, just like Pat and everyone else is. Always. Because that's what you do for the people you love, and I've loved you since you were still running around in your Star-Spangled tights."

Sylvester couldn't help but crack a smile, which grew when he remembered that he had only ditched the Star-Spangled Kid identity in his mid-twenties, just a couple of years after joining the JSA and meeting you. "Funny...that's almost as long as I've been in love with you."

You gave his hand a squeeze, your voice soft as you smiled back at him. "Please, don't shut me out. Don't throw away this chance we've been given."

Before Sylvester died, he'd been convinced that he should never pursue anything with you. He had no life outside of Starman, and he thought that even if you did share his feelings, you should be with someone who could give you more. But now he had a second chance at life, and a second chance with you, who he finally knew loved him too. If you were willing to take it, even after knowing what he'd been through, how could he not be? He really would be a fool.

He reached up and held your face in his free hand, taking you in before pressing his lips to yours again and giving you your answer.

The psychological healing would take time, and it was possible that he may never be ready to put on a costume again, but with you and Pat in his corner, he had some hope that eventually everything would be okay in the end.

[dayscrazed]

Roswell, New Mexico Timeline (through season 4)

1x01- reunion 1x02- 1 week later Liz visits Rosa’s grave 1x03- 2 days (?) the morning after Malex have sex again 1x04- morning after the drive-in/blackout 1x05- morning after since Noah’s looking for Iz 1x06- the same night Max tells Liz the story 1x07- 1 week later police question Liz about the fire 1x08- 1 day or 2 after Iz admitted on psych 1x09- 6 weeks later Michael & Liz work on an antidote 1x10- next day, Alex talks to Michael, Iz is out of the pod 1x11- 1 day or 2 after, Iz shares her memory of Rosa 1x12- 3 days after Noah’s been in a pod 1x13- morning after Noah escapes

Whole season = around 10 weeks (Start of June through the 2nd week of August)

2x01- 2 weeks from Max dying 2x02- 2 weeks Mimi’s been missing 2x03- 2 weeks Michael has been at Pony 2x04- 2 weeks Isobel’s been going to cafe/ Michael been in “weeks-long hibernation” 2x05- next day, but then 3 weeks Max recovers and Iz attacks 2x06- 3 days they’ve been giving Max antidote 2x07- 1 week Rosa’s been training 2x08- 1 day or 2 ‘cause Max follows up on Jenna 2x09- that night they talk to Sanders, Max is arrested 2x10- 1 or 2 days later, they road trip to the reservation 2x11- 1 week since Alex never made it to the AF base 2x12- 1 day later, Michael building the bomb 2x13- that night, “tonight at Crashcon,” then a few (3?) days later

Season 2= 15 weeks; Through late November

3x01- 1 year after s2 finale (episode is 2 days) 3x02- the next day they put Jones in cage 3x03- next day, Lockhart machine on day 46 in previous episode and then goes off 3x04- next day Jones escapes 3x05- next day after Max heals Kyle and causes Liz to collapse 3x06- next day after Kyle went missing 3x07- next day because Jones healed Max 3 days ago 3x08- next day or 2, Michael says water tower was “the other day” (2 or 3 days ago) 3x09- 3 days later, Max has been asleep for 2 days/ Alex has exposed to machine for 2 days (episode is 2 days) 3x10- 2 days later, Michael says they fixed it a few days ago 3x11- day after, urgency to get save them from Jones 3x12- the same day, episode leads to night/the next day 3x13- same day, nine hours later because that’s the time limit of the serum they defeat Jones. Then, episode one day later

(Whole season = 18 days or 2 weeks and 4 days) A year later, through the end of November into early December

Season 4 = 6 months later

4x01- June 14th Hatch Day 4x02- The next day, after St Elmo’s Fire 4x03- A day later at night- Michael meets Bonnie. Ep goes through another day 4x04- That night and then the next day after Mimi dies 4x05- Next day, Tezca mindscapes Max 4x06- Next day, Isobel and Kyle morning after & Michael still sick 4x07- Next day, Max powerless and Liz is mad 4x08- Next day, Maria, Liz and Rosa panic about Alex 4x09- Next day, Liz in mist coma 4x10- Next day, evil!Liz jumps into science 4x11- Next day, Michael searches for Alex & Liz back at Crashdown, moved out 4x12- Next day, Liz detoxing and Malex attempt at wedding/ fuel to leave 4x13- Same day, daytime when they fight Clyde; but then another day (or two, maybe more?) until the wedding and then the day after the wedding, Max leaves

Whole season = about 16 days (2 weeks, 2 days)

Relationship Timelines:

- Michael sleeps with Alex 6 weeks, 4 days before sleeping with Maria. Alex talks with Maria and in less than a week, she kisses Michael. 

- Michael ghosts Maria for 2 weeks. Then, 2 weeks later, Michael parks at Pony and stays for 2 weeks, then she pushes him away. After 5 weeks, 3 days, she calls him: cornfield incident. They officially date for 3 weeks, 2 days

- Liz and Max kiss 7 weeks and 4 days after Max confesses his love. They sleep together a week later. 

-After Max is resurrected, he and Liz sleep together and then they date officially for 3 weeks 2 days. 

- About a week after Forrest leaves, Michael kisses Alex. Malex officially are together for the last 9 days (week and 2 days) of the season.

- Liz admits she still loves Max 10 days after she came back to Roswell. They finally kiss a week after that and officially get back together.

- About a week after Isobel meets Anatsa, she asks her out for drinks. Isobel and Anatsa start seeing each other for the last 5 days of the season.

- Alex gets trapped in Theo’s dimension for 11 days. Michael learns he’s missing after a week and goes after him on day 9.  

- Michael and Alex move in together after being together 6 months, and then get married roughly 2 weeks after they move in.

- Max and Liz have officially been dating for 6 months (plus the 3 some weeks they were together before) and have been living together for 4 months when Max tries to propose.

- Liz tries to propose roughly 2 weeks after Max tries to propose.

- Isobel kisses Kyle a week after she breaks up with Anatsa, 6 days after she learns about his feelings.

[destielshippingnews]

Edvard's Supernatural Guide: 2x01 In My Time of Dying

(Spoilers up to 15x20 Carry On)

(I wrote an essay about John's abuse of Dean to accompany this analysis. You can find it here. An addendum to this analysis can be found here.)

Introduction (Wherein I waffle perhaps a bit too much)

I have a lot of negative things to say about Supernatural, and I have always been up front about this, in both my analyses and when talking about the show with family, friends, and strangers on the internet. It made a great first impression in my Media Studies class at the end of 2008 when we watched 3x13 Ghostfacers whilst studying the horror genre alongside Charlie Brooker’s Dead Set and 28 Days Later. I got the first three series on DVD for Christmas in 2008 and devoured them within a week or two. Well, most of them, at least.

I am sorry to say I got bored. I generally enjoyed the aesthetic but the lack of plot in series one was to the show’s detriment, as was the fact that most monsters were just ghosts or people with contact lenses. I was also significantly younger and had not yet developed the ‘thicker skin’ I was told to develop, and the gay jokes in the show bothered me. I did not want that in my spare time.

The big thing which turned me off, however, was the turn towards Abrahamic mythology, particularly the Christian version. Buffy and Angel had their own mythologies which drew on real-world folklore but adapted it into Joss Whedon’s own – forgive me for using this cliché of an adjective – almost Lovecraftian mythos. In the Buffyverse, demon gods used to rule the Earth and magic was as natural a part of life as breathing. However, the Shadow Men created The First Slayer Sineya tens of thousands of years ago as a weapon to fight the demons and drive their gods from the Earth. Eventually, the last pure demon was defeated, but not before infecting a human with his spirit. This act created the first vampire.

In the Buffyverse, the pure demons and demon gods were driven to other dimensions and universes, where most of them remained for the rest of eternity, with a few notable exceptions. The demons in Buffy and Angel are descendants of pure demons, but they are mixed with other things, including humans. Rather than being the spirits of humans who had the humanity tortured out of them in Hell as they are in Supernatural they are more akin to the ‘monsters’ in Supernatural.

Bear with me, I will get to the point very soon. In spite of the existence of demons, ‘gods’, alternate dimensions, magic, and real evil in Buffy and Angel, there is no definite ‘Hell’ nor ‘Heaven’. There are bad places and good places, but there is no implication that ‘sinners’ go to the bad places and goodies go to the good places. It is a mythology completely separate to Christianity. This pleased me greatly.

The Superverse, however, is very much an Abrahamic universe. Or perhaps a Zoroastrian-Abrahamic one, since Abrahamic mythology is heavily influenced by Zoroastrianism. As such, there is a definite Heaven and a definite Hell in the Superverse. I could write tens of thousands of words about Dean’s deal to save Sam in 2x22 All Hell Breaks Loose Part II, the things which led to it, and the consequences thereof, but in 2008/2009, it did not work for me. The definite idea of Hell bored me, as well as the fact that I had seen characters going to ‘Hell’ several times in Buffy and Angel. For this reason, I unfortunately lost interest in Supernatural, and my DVDs eventually ended up being given to a friend (who still has them 11 years later).

However, a friend at university really liked the show. She liked it so much she bought a complete collection of Lovecraft’s work from Waterstone’s after watching the Lovecraft episode. One of my professors also mentioned the show once: he taught a course on the history of vampires in fiction, and used to talk about Buffy a lot. By 2015, few of the new students had watched Buffy, so he used Supernatural instead. I unfortunately did not get to attend that course (although I did get to do a bitching course on representations and influences of the Norse people and mythology in popular culture), but because people around me were mentioning it again, I decided to give it another go. After all, it was freely available on British Netflix at the time, I had enjoyed some of the show, and I had very fond memories of Jensen.

After a break of over six years, I started watching again with 2x01 In My Time of Dying. As I have written elsewhere, Jensen’s performance in this episode grabbed me by the viscera and he has refused to relinquish his grasp in the seven years since. He managed to portray Dean as both a charismatic and devilishly charming man with a Devil May Care attitude, whilst also giving Dean incredible depth, vulnerability, humanity, and relatability as a broken, hopeless man who loved everybody except himself. His performance in 2x20 and 2x22 was as good as anything Sarah Michelle Gellar ever gave us in Buffy, and he was just getting started.

While these analyses are chiefly about the show in general, it will not have escaped anybody’s notice that they are also heavily focused on Dean and Jensen’s performance. They are both analyses of Supernatural and character studies of Dean. I have stuck with the show because of him, nothing else. Misha is a great actor (when the show gives him lines, screen-time, and something to do), and Mark Shepherd did a fine job with what became an increasingly stupid character. But as far as I am concerned, Jensen is the show. I cannot talk about it without also talking about him. The plot of the show is frequently lacklustre and suffers from poor planning, the supposed main protagonist is either as dull as ditch-water or downright repellent, and it always seemed as though the show was at war with itself over what it wanted to be. I can forgive all of that, though, because Dean is in it, and Jensen did an incomparable job bringing him to life.

This episode is where I started watching Supernatural again. As I prepare this for posting, it is just over four hours until my thirty-first birthday. When I first made notes on this episodes, hoping to one day to write and publish my analyses, it was December 2020, my first Christmas in a foreign country. It has now been almost fourteen years since I first watched Supernatural, and a little over a year since I wrote and published my first analysis. I have been looking forward to getting to this point, the first real milestone. So let’s get started!

The Part Where the Analysis Starts (and the Waffling Continues)

First things first: death. Throughout the course of The Show’s run, Dean and Sam die many times, their deaths being so frequent and numerous that their deaths becomes metaphors for spiritual deaths, metamorphosis, and change. This is in keeping with many mythologies and religions. One in particular which springs to mind is Celtic mythology, or more specifically accounts of Gaulish philosophy and beliefs around death as described by Ancient Greek sources. ‘Death is but a point in eternal life.’ The belief was that death in this world was only the death of the physical body, and that the spirit would be reborn in the Otherworld. Irish and Scottish traditions of holding a wake for several days after a death are intertwined with this ancient Celtic belief, though traditions of viewing the deceased and holding vigils are by no means exclusive to the northwestern fringes of Europe.

Few main characters’ deaths in the show are actual endings (one reason why 15x20 Carry On is a travesty) but death remains a source of anxiety, fear, pain, and loss. Once again, I must invoke Paula R. Stiles’s commentary: she has likened Dean to a Christ character. Not only does he take on the burdens and suffering of everybody around him, but he defies death by refusing to stay dead. He also suffers incredible survivor’s guilt, inferiority, and suicidal ideations, and when he meets Tessa again in 4x15 Death Takes a Holiday, he will indeed tell her ‘I wish I had gone with you’. Dean upsets the ‘natural’ order of life and death, as Jesus did in Christian mythology. However, Dean does not do this in order to upset the ‘natural order’, but rather to save others from suffering.

Dean also becomes the enemy of death, as Jesus is described. Castiel is credited several times within the show as being the one who broke the narrative by disobeying orders, but he did so because of Dean: Dean was always the source of chaos and disruption, like a boulder thrown into s stream. It does not want to be there, and it is not there of its own volition, but the flow of water is irreversibly changed regardless.

I believe it was once again Paula R. Stiles who made this comment (I do have my own ideas, I swear: it just so happens that loads of ideas I and she have had come together in this analysis and it would be bad to not give credit where credit is due) but the problem with Dean’s death in 15x20 Carry On was not the fact he died, but that he died for nothing. His death was meaningless, and undid all his character development. A (super-)natural end for his story would have been for him to pick up the scythe and become the next Death. He did, after all, spend time as a reaper in 6x11 Appointment in Samarra, and he was (as far as we know)the first reaper to be killed after Whatsherface whom Lucifer killed in 15x19 Inherit the Earth.

Here is a link to her review where this is discussed:

Had this been the case, The Show could still have had its gross, nostalgic, and weirdly incestuous death scene in the barn, and not have had 60% of the fandom hating the ending. Dean’s death could have meant something other than ‘If you suffer decades of trauma and suicidal ideation, just die. Heaven awaits, you can go there and be at peace’. (Dean’s death in 15x20 was indirect suicide, by the way: he allowed himself to die of a treatable wound, convince me otherwise.)

Anyway, I have decided that Death is going to appear to me in Dean-form when my time comes. This is just how things are going to happen.

Did you see the GIF? That. I cannot wait.

(For the sharp-eyed among you: yes, an archangel is apparently powerful enough to kill Death, but not God’s sister, even though Death outranks God.)

Perhaps Dean’s aforementioned chaotic, catalystic nature is why Death should take such an interest in Dean: he upsets the order, but at the same time wishes he had not done so (either that, or the same older-men-having-a-creepy-obsession-with-Dean through-line the show has. Thanks, Chuck). John died to bring Dean back to life, and Dean hated him for it (survivor’s guilt and bereavement), yet did not hesitate to do the same to bring Sam back to life, offering himself up as the metaphorical sacrificial lamb. This fascinates Death, and perhaps Death even saw somebody to take up his mantle if he should die.

Dean’s interactions with Death are among my favourite parts of The Show. The reason for this is that Death is never once shown as an antagonist (Billie notwithstanding), but rather an inevitable, inexorable certainty. Usually I am not a fan of the show’s demythologisation of monsters and deities and really wish Kripke would read something other than Neil Gaiman (I love Stardust, Coraline, and Odd and the frost Giants, but Neverwhere left me cool and I simply could not finish American Gods), but I have a very soft spot for a humanised Death who likes pizza and fast food, and who treats Dean like a favourite nephew. For all the bad in Supernatural, this is certainly a stroke of genius.

Death is part and parcel of the horror genre. Death is almost always depicted as something to be feared, run away from, and to have nightmares about. Some horror films also revolve entirely around horrible, painful ways of dying. Death itself is sometimes the main antagonist, such as the Final Destination films. This is completely understandable as the main driving urge of life forms is to avoid death at all costs. In spite of this, most life-forms have no concept of life and death, but rather run on instinct.

Humans, however, are different. We are aware of life, and are therefore aware that life ends. This is the cost of consciousness and awareness: the price of knowledge is the knowledge of death. Most people seem to spend their whole lives either avoiding the thought of their own death, or terrified of its inevitable approach. It is understandable that death be depicted as the horror of all horrors.

I am not scared of my own death. I do not want to die a painful death, but turning the lights off for the last time does not scare me. I do not believe in any kind of Hell or punishment after death, nor any kind of Heaven. I could be wrong, but I doubt there is anything other than nothingness on the other side of death. That is not too bad. I spent the first 13.4 billion years of the universe not existing, after all, and that did me no harm. (And see above RE: Ghostbusters!Dean).

Losing somebody is another matter altogether. In my analyses of 1x11 Scarecrow and 1x12 Faith, I briefly discussed losing a friend to suicide, as well as the impact of losing my uncle to suicide. I have lost other friends to suicide, and some of my friends have lost their friends in the same way (one of the reasons why Dean’s suicidal ideations and tendencies are so visceral for me). I suppose I used to fear death like anybody else, but losing a friend to suicide put an end to that. On the last flight I was on, the turbulence was really bad and my concern was not for me dying, but rather annoyance that I had only just got my hands on the Dean with Baby Funko Pop which was currently in the hold and would get utterly destroyed in an aeroplane crash. My friends would also have to find somebody else to look after their cats while they visited their families. If Death were coming to get me, fine: at least I would no longer have to worry about my future. But at the very least spare my Dean pop.

Depictions of death as an antagonistic, malevolent force do not do anything for me. Though J.K. Rowling’s name is mud at the moment for what definitely appears to be a strong dislike of trans women based in a deep-seated, trauma-based phobia of men, I still enjoy The Tale of the Three Brothers. Death in it is certainly tricksy, but only in a metaphorical sense. The eldest brother’s pride was his downfall, whereas the middle brother’s inability to cope with loss ended him. The third brother lived well and humbly, and eventually met Death as an old man, welcoming it as an old friend.

Similar concepts and struggles are present in Tolkien’s works, perhaps as a response to losing his parents when he was a child, and two of his closest friends in World War I. The elves are immortal, but their fate is to remain in the world until the end of time, unable to change or forget what came before whilst the world around them changes and moves on without them. Either they sail west to The Undying Lands, or they remain in Middle-Earth and fade away to nothing but powerless spirits. Men (with the older meaning 'humans', rather than 'adult male human', which is a newer meaning) on the other hand lead short lives full of change and happenings, and upon dying are released from the Earth and permitted to go… wherever it is men go. Many men wish they could stay longer, and many elves wish they could be released.

The fourth book of The Silmarillion, the Akallabeth, relates the story of Númenor, where men of the houses of the Edain were granted lengthened lives of up to 500 years as reward for their role in the wars against Morgoth during the First Age of Middle-Earth. However, though death was supposed to be a gift for the race of men, the Númenoreans grew jealous of the elves’ mortality (with Sauron whispering in the ears of their nobles towards the end). Eventually, a huge Númenorean fleet under the command of King Ar-Pharazon sought to take it for themselves by conquering Valinor, which they believed would make them immortal like the elves. This ended in disaster for the Númenoreans.

For those of you who do not care for Tolkien’s work, I will not apologise for that aside, but I will reassure you that it has a point.

Anne Rice wrote Interview with the Vampire after her infant daughter died of leukaemia. Naturally, the novel deals heavily with death, loss, and the afterlife, (as well as minority demographics and same-sex relationships, but that really is a different story). The vampires in Anne Rice’s novels are incapable of moving on from who they were at the time they died, and eventually grow weary of longing for a time and place which no longer exists. Armand (a red-haired Ukrainian ‘teenager’ in the novels) is the oldest ‘living’ vampire at the time Louis meets him some time at the end of the 1800s. Armand is roughly 400 years old at this time. The vampires in Anne Rice’s novels lose the will to ‘live’ and find ways to end their lives.

Humans are not meant to stay, and even those who are grow weary of life in a world which is ever-changing and forgetful. The immortal long to not be on Earth any more. This is why Dean’s interactions with Tessa appealed. Dean might have superficially seemed scared of the reaper at first, but as I said above, his fear was not for himself. 1x12 Faith showed clearly that Dean was willing to sacrifice himself to save others, and that he did not fear his own death. Dean is not scared of dying, and Tessa is not a malevolent force in this episode. She does not need to be: Dean is going to die, and all she need do is encourage him to let go and move on. She is not evil, but neither is she good. She just is.

At the beginning of the episode Dean wanted to live for other people, but after learning and accepting the futility of resisting death, he was ready to go. The ‘Yes’ was just behind his teeth. After all, had he chosen to remain, there was no way he could return to his body. Rather he would linger, lose his sanity, and become the kind of ghost he and his brother used to hunt

Then Azazel dragged Dean back to life at the last minute. His body was alive, but Dean was essentially dead. Not for the first or last time this begs a comparison to Buffy, particularly the end of series five and beginning of series six. Buffy dies, only to be resurrected and returned to Earth, a Hell compared to where she was before. She is forced to undergo a painful adjustment to life after accepting death, all the while engaging in self-destructive behaviour as part of depression and possible suicidal ideation.

This describes Dean as much as it describes Buffy. Dean let go, and effectively died at the end of the episode, only to be dragged back and burdened with the bereavement of John’s death and the responsibility of killing Sam. In 4x15 Death Takes a Holiday, Dean will tell Tessa he wished he had gone with her. Dean’s behaviour over the next few episodes make this very clear.

But discussions of the next few episodes can occur in their own analyses. This episode begins exactly where 1x22 Devil’s Trap finished, with Dean, Sam, and John in the remains of the Impala. The possessed man exits the lorry and goes to the car, presumably intending to ensure the Winchesters are dead. Sam pulls the colt out and points it at the demon, who does not seem perturbed at all, certain as he is that Sam is ‘saving the bullet for somebody else’. The colt is supposed to be terrifying to demons, as it is (at this point in the show) the only thing which can actually kill them. Rather than filling his pants with shepherd’s pie, the demons just does not care. This strips the colt of its power in the narrative: if the demon does not care, why should I?

Furthermore, the demon also seems utterly stupid, a problem which riddles demons (and angels) throughout the whole run of the show. This is something I noticed long ago, and Paula R. Stiles is in complete agreement: they make snarky comments and act bad-ass, but for the most part they are far less threatening than they are idiotic and annoying. They do not know when to stop talking and do something.

Moving swiftly on in case the stupidity is contagious, Sam stated in the final scene of 1x22 Devil’s Trap that the hospital was ten minutes away, yet in the second scene of 2z01, it appears as though many hours have passed and the emergency services still have not got any of the Winchesters to hospital. By the time John is in the ambulance and Sam is on the stretcher, Dean should be long gone and in intensive care. Emergency services would not have waited until everybody is out of the car before airlifting all of them at the same time.

Most of the medical and emergency service information such as that above is taken from Paula R. Stiles’ analysis of this episode. Rather than crediting her every time I refer to her review in this analysis, I will credit her in advance.

So begins the two main plots of the episode: Dean lingering on the edge of death, and John and Sam’s attempts at saving him. As the plots unfold, salient ideas and plot points are introduced which subtly set the scene for later in both series two and the show as a whole:

- Dean’s eventual resignation to death, or even his willingness to die

- deals with demons to resurrect the dead

- the secret John whispers to Dean before his own death

These are all elements which are critical to the advancement of the show past 2x21 All Hell Breaks Loose, and lay the groundwork for series three and four. I have said on more than one occasion that Supernatural is poorly planned and that the writers have frequently stated that they usually do not know how a plot line or a series arc will end. This being the case, the beginning of series two does a good job of at least looking planned. This is definitely a positive in this episode, and bodes well for series two, which is thematically and structurally stronger than series one.

Dean is doomed to die in this episode, as the doctor at the beginning makes clear to Sam with his signing organ donor papers comment. However, his attitude towards his fate is markedly different than in 1x12 Faith, where he offered no resistance to death, and even ran straight towards it. Here, he says very clearly ‘Screw you, doc, I’m waking up!’ What has changed?

His conversation with Tessa at the end of the episode makes it clear: his family needs him. Note that he never once says anything to her about wanting to live for himself, hoping for fat grandchildren or anything like that, but rather than he needs to do things for other people. He wants to return to life in order to protect John and Sam and defeat Azazel. Even in death, his identity is still all about other people.

Sam, too, wants Dean alive (strange, because often he seems like he would be so much better off if Dean were dead and Sam able to lead his own life. Was that not the entire point of the 15x20 Carry On?) and takes active steps to both communicate with him and to help him combat the reaper.

Something hinted at but underused in this episode was Sam’s psychic abilities: he repeated Ghost!Dean’s line about ‘laying some mojo’ on Dean almost verbatim, and caught echoes of Ghost!Dean talking and shouting at various points. On the one hand, I am glad that Sam was not able to directly communicate with or see Ghost!Dean, as this allowed Dean the separation and isolation necessary to go on his journey towards death. On the other hand, Sam had a vision of Dean’s death in 1x14 Nightmare and that caused him to display telekinetic powers, but Dean lingering on the edge of death here did nothing to enhance Sam’s powers. Something is a little off there.

John is an enigmatic figure in this episode. He does not cry, shout, beat his breast, or do much at all to betray his thoughts to anybody, and Sam of course sees this as indifference. Paula R. Stiles comments that John’s lack of visible emotion makes him seem cold and calculating. My own interpretation is that John finally realised how much he truly loved Dean. He was wracked with guilt over his treatment of his firstborn for the preceding twenty six years and had no way of expressing any of this. He is shown to stay at Dean’s bedside for hours, though sitting at a distance and not physically interacting with him. Compare this with, for example, Alec and Rachel at the end of Dark Angel 2x11 The Berresford Agenda for a stark contrast.

In my essay about John’s abuse of Dean, I compared him to Denethor in The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. Boromir was Denethor’s favourite son, and Boromir’s death (along with what Sauron had been showing Denethor in the palantir) broke him. Faramir – Boromir’s younger brother and Denethor’s younger son – was a disappointment to him, and Denethor showed him nothing in the way of love, care, or pride, until it was far too late.

This is what I see in John here. Certainly on the face of things it can be interpreted as a father’s act of love for his son, but given everything I have written about John and Dean in my analyses of series one, I do not see things this simply (whatever Jensen says about it). I also do not believe that what John did was a good thing, nor do I believe it redeems him. More on that later.

After trying to start another argument with John (at least if was on Dean’s behalf this time), Sam is sent to Bobby for ingredients for a protection spell. At Sam’s behest, Bobby had towed the Impala to his salvage yard, where he believes it is bound for the scrap heap. Sam, however, sees the Impala as a metaphor for Dean, and refuses to give up on it as long as one part is still working. Following this, he requests the ingredients from Bobby, who does not at all look pleased at what he sees on the list. It is not a ‘protection spell’, but rather a summoning spell. Whether or not this summoning spell is specific to Azazel, or whether it can somehow be adjusted to focus on summoning one particular demon, is not clarified. What is also not clarified is where John got the ritual from. Azazel is no grunt, so I struggle to believe low-level demon-summoning rituals will work on him, meaning an Azazel-specific summoning is the more rational conclusion. But if so, where did John get the ritual from?

Meanwhile, Ghost!Dean speaks to John in, asking him to help save him. John, of course, cannot hear his invisible son, an apt metaphor for their entire relationship. Dean – perhaps emboldened by his invisibility – allows his anger, sadness, and betrayal to come out. Not a single word out of Dean’s mouth is false. ‘Aren’t you going to do anything? ...I have done everything you’ve ever asked. ...What kind of father are you?’

And yes, it is time: Jensen’s acting, Dear Reader! Dear Reader, Jensen’s acting. That is all.

Sam returns from Bobby’s and starts an argument with John who he thinks wants to summon Azazel in order to have ‘some stupid, macho showdown’. As in 1x20 Dead Man’s Blood, John argues right back rather than keeping his cool, but this time he can be forgiven since his son is dying. Ghost!Dean bears witness to all this, growing more anxious and angry as the argument escalates. He does his best to shut them up by shouting (providing an insight into how communication worked in that family), but they cannot hear him (just like in 1x20). Perhaps because of his heightened emotions, he manages to knock the glass of water onto the floor, smashing it.

A moment later, he collapses in pain, clutching his chest. It is revealed that his body is having a heart attack, and a spirit (the reaper) is hovering over him. Sam hears echoes of Dean’s shouting as the reaper knocks him back. Not much comes of this after this episode, which is a shame. There was an opportunity for Sam to have access to the spirit plane as part of his powers, perhaps to even be able to astral project or easily communicate with spirits. This never comes to fruition, and I am left wondering whether the reason Sam heard Dean was not because of Sam’s powers, but rather Dean being an unusually strong spirit I am honestly not sure whether the writers even considered this, and nothing is ever made of this potential..

Soon after, Ghost!Dean is still wandering around the hospital. The cut scenes involved a pointless scene where Ghost!Dean considered watching a woman getting her breasts examined. This was silly, but an interesting aspect which was completely cut from the final episode was Dean seeing a dying man covered in blood on a stretcher in the corridor. How this fit into the overall story of the plot is not clear to me. Anyway, Dean soon witnesses a real death as the blonde nurse (or was she a receptionist? Or a doctor? I have no idea) dies alone on the floor in a private room. It is also not made clear what she died of. Paula R. Stiles wrote that it was an asthma attack, but I and several members of my family are asthmatic. Asthma definitely can kill, but the woman did not sound to me like she was dying of an asthma attack. Her voice was too clear, and there was no wheezing whine or rattle as air tries to pass through the tiny gap left in her inflamed throat.

My mother has been suffering with a flare up of asthma this year. My asthma can be bad, but hers was so bad that every breath sounded like a cold draught under a rattly, wooden door. The dementors in the Harry Potter films sounded like depression, but add to that the sound of one’s middle-aged mother about to have a possibly-lethal asthma attack, and it would be truly horrific.

Soon after this, Dean meets Tessa. Tessa is a reaper, but poses as a young woman to try to help Dean accept his death and move on (to Heaven, presumably). Tessa is not especially comforting or even all that patient with Dean, however, though neither is she entirely cold. After dropping the act, she is mostly matter-of-fact with Dean. This is hardly the treatment he deserves, but given reapers perform psychopomp duties numerous times a day for ever, it is understandable she comes across as reading from a script.

I am reaching the end of this analysis, so it is time to discuss John’s trade. The episode builds towards a suspenseful bit of drama wherein Dean is debating whether or not to go with Tessa, and John making a deal with Azazel to save Dean. The viewer does not want Dean to die, but the cost of Dean’s resurrection is the magic boom stick which is the only hope of killing Azazel. More on that in a moment: whilst this is a good bit of drama, it is also a stupid character moment.

Sure I can understand it on an emotional level, but John believed the colt was the only hope of killing Azazel: once he gave it up, he would probably never get it back and be unable to stop Azazel. Idiotic, but understandable.

However, John also agreed to trade both his own life and the colt for Dean. Certainly Dean is worth at least that, but the end result is that John would be dead and not have to deal with the problems his actions caused. Instead, his sons would be burdened with carrying on his fight because of actions he willingly took, almost definitely knowing said actions would make things harder for his sons. Furthermore, john would also be freed of the burden of becoming a filicide by making his son become a fratricide.

By his own confession, John knew a lot about Azazel’s plans for the psychic children. He knew enough for his last words to Dean to be something along the lines of ‘You might have to kill your brother’ (but also: ‘Look out for Sammy’, of course. It would not be prudent to die without first reminding your eldest son of what his only purpose in life is: to be his brother’s keeper). The viewer does not find this out until 2x10 Hunted when Dean finally tells Sam what has been bothering him, but this is what John said. John knew a lot of what was to come and the ugliness which would ensue, but he surrendered his own responsibility and fobbed it off onto Dean.

You should have let Dean die, John.

A casual viewer who is not paying much attention will of course miss much of this, and will simply see John put Dean’s well-being above his quest for revenge by sacrificing himself. The exact stipulations of the agreement between John and Azazel are left occult: it is unclear whether John explicitly knew and agreed to being dragged to Hell as opposed to simply ending his life to save Dean. If John did not know, it was an act of selfless love to end a life characterised by selfish disregard of his sons’ needs. If he did know, it is an even greater act.

At least from John’s perspective. The last two and a half decades of his life were spent grieving Mary, and, in spite of his ill treatment of Dean, the thought of losing him too was too much for John to bear. I can believe that - at least at that point - Dean’s life was more important to him than anything else, but in sacrificing himself to save his son, John shifted the burden of responsibility from himself to Dean. The things he knew about Sam were no longer his cross to carry, but rather Dean’s.

That said, does John’s sacrifice here make up for his twenty-three years of child abuse? My answer is no. Nothing could ever possibly make up for the damage he inflicted on his boys; what he did formed the men Dean and Sam are, and that cannot be ‘corrected’. I will use another example to illustrate my point.

Angel is a television show about a vampire cursed with a soul whose motivation is making up for all the suffering and death he caused as a soulless vampire. But there’s never a point where he’ll be able to say he’s saved enough people to counterbalance the multitudes he killed. It’s not a task with a set goal or deadline; it’s a commitment to being a different person and never going back to what was before. There can never be an end to his redemption, but rather his striving for unattainable redemption is his redemption. It is the legend of Sisyphus retold in modern dressing.

I do not believe John’s sacrifice redeemed him, but it could be seen as the first step on a long, long road. Some are very fast to forgive John everything for this, and would brush aside all my commentary either because it contradicts what they want to see or they are just not thinking about it all that deeply. John’s sacrifice does not make him father of the year or the best dad ever. I can understand his heart might have been in the right place for once, but even without hindsight it was the wrong decision. Trading the colt alone would have been a bad move, as it left him and his sons undefended against Azazel, but for the reasons discussed above, trading his life for Dean’s was a bad idea.

Kripke was going for something here. He wanted it to be a grand, sweeping, emotional moment where the father sacrifices himself for his son. However, he was clearly not paying enough attention to the story he was actually telling nor the characters involved, because he did not succeed in delivering what he apparently wanted. Doyle’s sacrifice in Angel was far more impactful, even though the episode it happened in was a hot mess. Buffy’s sacrifice in 5x22 The Gift was a brilliant ending to a well-constructed plot-arc. John’s death was… not.

I discussed in my essay on John’s abuse of Dean that Jensen’s acting was informed by him ‘believing Dean knew John loved him’. The only scene in the whole show where I can see Dean perhaps ‘knowing John loved him’ is in the penultimate scene of 2x01 In My Time of Dying. However, the scene in question shows their relationship was incredibly unhealthy, with Dean forced to take on the role and responsibility of a life-partner for John. That Dean had to comfort John as a child in a manner which a husband or wife should do was presented as something to warm our hearts and make us forgive John a little because he valued and loved Dean really is yet another example of Kripke not telling the story he intends to tell. I expect he wanted it to be a heart-warming moment, but it bordered on incestuous and revealed just how unfit John was to be a father.

That John was being kind to Dean, showing him pride and love, clearly deeply unsettled Dean (note, Dear Reader, that people are usually only kind and loving to Dean when either he or they are about to leave him). He did not believe it was John speaking, so strange was John’s behaviour to him.

This was John’s goodbye to Dean. Sam never got to say goodbye to John (well, expect in 14x13 Lebanon), as John sent him out of the room to get his some coffee while he laid the burden of fratricide on Dean. This is hard for Sam, but given the fact he had more in the way of restitution and redress from John between 1x16 Shadow and 1x22 Devil’s Trap, I can only care so much.

The episode ends with John’s death. Good riddance to bad rubbish. If you missed my post on John's abuse of Dean, you can read it here.

Thus endeth my twenty third analysis of Supernatural, and my first of series two. I have three hundred and two episodes left to go (plus the two god-awful episodes right at the end). My upload schedule will slow down soon because a) my summer holiday is over and b) I have resumed editing the second draft on my novel. I will continue writing and posting these analyses (even if nobody reads them), but I will soon go back to one every 1-3 weeks to give me time for other things. Wish me monsters.

[fluorescentbrains]

I am officially giving in to my impulse to watch supernatural, but like I don't think i can do fifteen seasons, so I'm looking for advice. I watched the first couple of seasons like, years ago, but i am basically only coming back because of the deancas fandom on tumblr these past few weeks. do you have any seasons you would start with, any episodes i should watch, etc.

dkjasjldfdklsfdlk like 2 years ago i was working on a list of spn episodes that would omit a lot of the bad writing and filler. i only made it to season 7 but i’ll drop the draft under the cut and maybe i’ll finish the rest of it after the semester is over

seasons 1-3

ok so the thing about the early seasons is that spn is an evolving beast. this is part of what makes the show fascinating and compelling, but it also makes binge watching it weird as hell. it was a very different show in 2005 than it is today in 2018 (holy shit). the tone is different, the monsters are different, even the way the show LOOKS visually is very different. it’s also much less focused on an overarching plot and the episodes tend to be more self-contained, so you can safely skip many of them.

full disclosure: i actively dislike the early seasons because i think they’re dank and dark and ugly as hell, so i have little memory of the episodes i’m about to recommend to you here lmao. some people feel the exact opposite and will tell you that the only time spn was actually any good was in its first couple of seasons and it’s sucked ever since. and i will concede that the early seasons might, technically, be “good.” however, they are not valid. ahem. anyway:

season 1 - meet the winchesters

*1x01, Pilot. it sucks imo but it’s the pilot

1x09, Home. missouri mosely is in this one, but it can be skipped if you’re in a rush

1x11, Scarecrow. meg’s first appearance

1x12, Faith. this episode gets referenced often and is a significant one for The Brothers.

*1x14, Nightmare. sam has plotty visions

*1x16, Shadow. john returns and so does meg

1x17, Hell House. the tulpa episode and the first appearance of the ghostfacers. skippable, but why would you

1x18, Something Wicked. john is not a good father

the final three episodes of the season set up the plot for season 2, so they’re worth watching if you want to know what’s going on.

season 2 - a conga line of demon deals, part i

*2x01, In My Time of Dying. picks up where the final of season 1 left off. tessa’s first appearance

2x02, Everybody Loves a Clown. ellen harvelle’s first appearance

*2x05, Simon Said. sam’s powers are partially explained

2x08, Crossroad Blues. first appearance of hellhounds

*2x10, Hunted. continues sam’s psychic children arc from 2x05

2x14, Born Under a Bad Sign. feat. jo and meg. if you like jo watch 2x06

*2x15, Tall Tales. first appearance of gabriel, currently masquerading as a trickster god

the last two episodes make up a two-parter finale that pulls together the plot and sets up for season 3, so probably watch those

season 3 - a conga line of demon deals, part ii

*3x01, The Magnificent Seven. who let the demons out? (woof woof)

*3x02, The Kids Are Alright. first appearance of lisa braeden and ruby

3x04, Sin City. ruby antics; the colt is introduced

*3x09, Malleus Maleficarum. the ruby backstory episode

3x10, Dream a Little Dream of Me. the bobby backstory episode. if you like bela, watch 3x03 and 3x06 too, and make sure to hit up 3x15

*3x11, Mystery Spot. gabriel returns to torment the winchesters. simultaneously one of the funniest and most brutal episodes of spn, has been HEAVILY memed, definitely watch this one

3x12, Jus in Bello. bela is there, ruby is there. if you like henrikson, go back and watch 2x12 and 2x19

3x13, Ghostfacers. gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day

*3x16, No Rest for the Wicked. it’s the finale, duh

seasons 4-5

seasons 4 and 5 are when shit starts getting cosmic, with the show actively working towards an endgame. more episodes are tying into the plot as opposed to being stand alone monster-of-the-week. but the most important thing is that castiel is finally, finally gonna grace your screen

season 4 - gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day, part i

*4x01, Lazarus Rising. pamela barnes’ first appearance. cas walks in lookin like a bird of paradise

4x02, Are You There, God? It's Me, Dean Winchester. cas crashes dean’s dreams

*4x03, In the Beginning. a time travel episode; mary and john’s backstory

4x06, Yellow Fever. dean catches ghost flu and it gives him anxiety

*4x07, It's The Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester. uriel appears, calls humans “mud monkeys,” plans to smite whole town

4x08, Wishful Thinking. the one with the teddy bear. skippable, i included it for the memes

*4x09, I Know What You Did Last Summer. anna appears

*4x10, Heaven and Hell. the angel drama from last episode continues

4x14, Sex and Violence. the one where dean is manipulated by a male siren. can be skipped but it’s insane so why would you

*4x15, Death Takes a Holiday. tessa and pamela return

*4x16, On The Head of a Pin. dean’s hell trauma episode. cas takes a step towards rebellion. definitely recommend watching this one, but big TW for torture

4x17, It’s a Terrible Life. the one where dean drinks health shakes

*4x18, The Monster at the End of This Book. the chuck episode

yeah, you’re gonna wanna watch the whole rest of the season, basically. it’s all relevant and for the most part pretty engaging

season 5 - team free will

*5x01, Sympathy for the Devil. cas’s first death, but far from his last. chuck returns and becky rosen the wincest shipper (yes, really) debuts

*5x02, Good God, Y’all. cas searches for god, the harvelles return

*5x03, Free To Be You and Me. funny and sweet, with cas and dean both showing their softer sides, destiel stans do NOT skip this one

*5x04, The End. absolutely depressing as fuck but you gotta. also, pink satiny panties

5x08, Changing Channels. the one with dr sexy. gabriel returns. as funny as mystery spot but less brutal, 10/10 do recommend

5x09, The Real Ghostbusters. the one where they go to a spn fan convention

*5x10, Abandon All Hope... crowley’s first appearance

*5x13, The Song Remains the Same. another time travel episode. anna breaks bad

5x14, My Bloody Valentine. equal parts goofs and tremendous gore, feat. naked cupid and a horseman of the apocalypse

*5x15, Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid. jody’s debut episode

5x17, 99 Problems. the whore of babylon and a drunk cas. lisa reappears

*5x18, Point of No Return. “i gave everything for you.”

*5x19, Hammer of the Gods. lucifer comes for the pagan gods, gabriel “dies”

*5x21, Two Minutes to Midnight. the conga line of demon deals marches on

*5x22, Swan Song. the apocalypse

seasons 6-7

the apocalypse has been averted, but the ever-present threat of cancellation hasn’t. spn attempts to find a new path after the conclusion of the apocalypse arc, with mixed results. personally i’m just glad the sets are properly lit now

season 6 - a burning ring of fire

there’s some shit with like.... the brothers’ grandpa in this season that basically doesn’t matter and is never mentioned again so just don’t worry about it

*6x01, Exile on Main Street. sets up the season, so you should probably watch

6x02, Two and a Half Men. the bros take care of a baby

*6x03, The Third Man. cas returns, we meet balthazar

6x04, Weekend at Bobby’s. not essential but a good episode that focuses almost entirely on bobby

6x07, Family Matters. watch to find out what the heck is going on with sam

*6x10, Caged Heat. meg is back and she’s hitting on cas

*6x11, Appointment in Samarra. ooooooooooo death

*6x12, Like a Virgin. introduces eve

6x15, The French Mistake. the one where they go to our universe and spn is just a television show. on par with mystery spot and changing channels, do recommend

*6x17, My Heart Will Go On. cas breaks all the rules

*6x19, Mommy Dearest. a plotty episode about eve and her diabolical schemes

*6x20, The Man Who Would Be King. “we can fix this, cas” “dean, it’s not broken!”

6x21, Let It Bleed. the dean/lisa subplot comes to an end

*6x22, The Man Who Knew Too Much. the one where cas becomes god

season 7 - gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day, part ii

*7x01, Meet the New Boss. cas fucks up big time

*7x02, Hello Cruel World. sera gamble fucks up big time. also, jody is back

7x04, Defending Your Life. watch if you miss jo

*7x09, How to Win Friends and Influence Monsters. the one where the leviathans are capitalism

7x10, Death’s Door. the one where bobby dies but won’t move on

7x11, Adventures in Babysitting. sam meets krissy chambers. skippable, but in this house we love & support krissy chambers

7x15, Repo Man. this one is technically skippable but it goes so hard and the twist is so fucked up i recommend it anyway

*7x17, The Born-Again Identity. cas returns to save the show from cancellation yet again. i actually kind of hate this episode lol but there are reasons why it sucks--the backstage antics behind it are insane and some... Things... were cut. i recommend reading what this post has to say about it

7x18, Party On, Garth. absolutely not required viewing but nice if you need some comic relief in this shitstorm of a season

7x20, The Girl With The Dungeons and Dragons Tattoo. charlie bradbury’s first episode!

*7x21, Reading is Fundamental, Kevin’s first episode. also features “crazy!cas,” a concept which is about as horrendously executed as you might imagine. just grin and bear it, it does get better

the final two episodes wrap up the season and set up season 8, so do watch them

[prettygraceful]

magnus & the main characters interaction count: a study

an interaction counts as magnus talking specifically to 1 main and that main character responding, or vice versa. (you know like alec does with jace/ clary/ izzy in 95% of the episodes throughout the whole series and luke/ simon in half of s1 and s3.) an interaction is NOT where magnus addresses the group in general with no one responding to him directly, or him being in the same room with all of them, but they only talk to alec or to each other.

this count starts from 2b. s1/ 2a did NOT have anywhere close to an adequate amount, but at least there wasn’t so little that it was total joke like after that. the sad truth of this is so glaringly obvious when it’s listed.

plz take note this post is about magnus/ MAIN character interaction ONLY

and obviously this count is about the 6 mains other than alec

SEASON 2B

2x11: NONE

altho clary/ jace are in the room, they only talk to alec

2x12: NONE

2x13: NONE

2x14: 1 scene with luke

2x15: NONE

altho jace/ izzy are in the room, they don’t talk to him

2x16: NONE

he was not in the episode. he also was not in some episodes in s1. luke and maia have also not been in some.

clary, jace, alec, izzy, and simon have been in every episode. just saying.

2x17: 2 scenes with luke

2x18: 1 scene with luke

2x19: NONE

altho the shadowhunters/ luke are in the room, they don’t talk to him

side note: making literally everyone be against magnus/ glaring at him/ shading him behind his back after all he’s literally done for every single one of them was… a choice. they all didn’t seem to care that he was hurting.

2x20: 1 scene with izzy

final count:

6 episodes (over half the season) with NONE

2 episodes of only 1 scene interaction

only 1 episode where he interacts throughout, yet still only with 1 other main

only 3 scenes where he gets to talk to another main without alec there

no scene where he talks to another main and alec isn’t mentioned

SEASON 3A

3x01: NONE

3X02: NONE

altho shadowhunters/ luke are in the room, they only talk to alec

3X03: 1 scene with izzy

3x04: NONE

altho clary is in room, she only talks to alec

3x05: NONE

3x06: multiple scenes with clary

3x07: NONE

altho clary/ izzy/ simon are in the room, they only talk to alec

3x08: multiple scenes with izzy

no, owl!jace saying alec would chose jace over him doesn’t count

altho luke/ simon are in the room, they only talk to alec

3x09: 1 scene with izzy

3x10: 1 scene with jace

altho should a scene of him telling the parabatai he gave up his magic for them and them not saying anything count?

final count:

5 episodes (half the season) with NONE

3 episodes of only 1 scene interaction

only 2 episodes where he interacts throughout, yet only with 1 other main

only 1 episode where he gets to talk to another main without alec there

no episodes where he talks to another main and alec isn’t mentioned

SEASON 3B

3x11: 1 scene with izzy

altho jace is in the room, he only to talks alec

3x12: NONE

altho jace/ luke are in the room, they only talk to alec

3x13: 1 scene with izzy

and 1 single line to clary, i guess

3x14: NONE

3x15: NONE

aside from 1 single line to simon, i guess

no, clary/ jace/ izzy unkindly questioning him being there doesn’t count

side note: making magnus be surrounded by a room full of racist-coded shadowhunters in s3 was… a choice. what was the point of that? it showed that apparently only laws have changed but not societal sentiment- outside of the main foursome- since s1 in their mindset towards downworlders. and then they had malec get married amongst these racists a few weeks later?? to show him being treated so disrespectfully (again in s3, so nobody’s mindset progressed outside of the 4) and be made so uncomfortable and then never have them show him any love or treat him as an equal later on (as an individual and not just as half of malec) was… a choice. a bad choice.

3x16: NONE

3x17: NONE

3x18: NONE

altho clary/ jace are in the room, they only talk to alec (and then when he’s sad over something that their 3a choices caused, they leave. in the same episode the writers have maryse say “we’re all here for you”…what a joke.)

3x19: NONE

3x20: NONE

altho izzy/ clary/ jace are in the room, they only talk to alec

3x21: NONE

aside from 1 single line to simon, i guess

no, saying only biscuit doesn’t count

3x22: NONE

altho it’s his wedding day, they don’t let jace/ izzy welcome him into the family but instead irrelevant max.

and altho it’s literally the finale, the ONLY person he gets to talk to is his rival. (side note, but lorenzo and underhill should NOT have been at the wedding after their awful treatment towards him. such two-faced people.)

final count:

10 episodes (the length of a normal half season) with NONE

2 episodes of only 1 scene interaction

0 episodes where he interacts throughout

1 scene where he get to talk to another main without alec there

in his 1 scene in 3x13, he talks to another main and alec isn’t mentioned

i think the point i’m making is obvious: the 3 white showrunners and mostly white writers almost never ever let magnus even talk to any of the other main characters. (he also goes three seasons without a single story arc with another main that lasts more than 1 episode. (no, the writers using luke as a mouthpiece to justify alec’s mistake in 2b does not count.) you know, like how alec had big long arcs with both clary and jace in s1, 2a, and 3a and izzy here and there. even maia, the most neglected character on this show, still got to regularly interact with simon and luke- 2 mains. even luke with his limited screentime, still got to regularly at least talk to literally all of the mains in all his group scenes.

and what about the 3 downworlder mains and alec?

well, altho alec and maia only had 2 scenes together, that’s still twice what magnus/ maia got, seeing as they only had the 1 scene together in 2a.

alec and luke had at least 3 scenes together in s1 that i can remember vs magnus/ luke only having 2 lines in 1x06. both duos had about equal in 2b.

in 3a alec/luke had 5 scenes together. magnus/ luke had none where they actually spoke to each other. in group scenes magnus only talked to alec.

in 3b alec/ luke had 3 scenes. magnus/ luke had none. plus luke told alec that he couldn’t go to his wedding, instead of telling magnus.

in s1 magnus/ simon had maybe 1 line. alec/ simon were interacting constantly throughout, i don’t remember how many scenes it was.

in 2a magnus/ simon had 2 episodes together. in 2b they had 1 scene but i don’t really count it since it was only to have it be literally everyone vs magnus. alec/ simon had 1 scene in 2b and none in 2a.

in 3a alec/ simon had 3 scenes interacting together. magnus/ simon had none where they actually spoke to each other.

in 3b all the fans complaining really paid off! 2 scenes in 3x15. 1 scene each in 3x17, 3x19, 3x20, and 3x21 for a grand total of 6 scenes. plus no talking- yet still in a scene together- in 1 other scene in 3x15, 3x17, 3x18, and 2 others in 3x19, for a grand total of 5, not counting the edom finale scenes. magnus/ simon only said 2 lines to each other in 3b.

not to mention alec stood next to simon in a nice two-shot in 4 separate scenes. it really reminded me of what they do with clary/ alec in group scenes. the writers don’t always give them a lot of dialogue together, but they’re sure to get that dynamic in at least visually. alec always has at least crumbs vs magnus getting nothing. where is that energy from the writers, directors, or fans with magnus and literally any main? really, where is it?

i mean, there was no reason for alec/ simon not to have scenes, but i’m so truly disappointed that this is where the fan effort was spent instead of lobbying for magnus to get to interact with even one main character other than alec, seeing as alec always already get to constantly have many, many, many duo and group scenes and big arcs with the 3 other shadowhunters. and now he gets to be more bonded with all of the main downworlders too instead of magnus with his own people. the writers are so so so wack.

also obviously magnus interacts with alec on a regular basis. the point is that’s it. malec is the main reason why i watch the show, so it matters a great deal, but when every other main is getting vastly more interactions, it’s a problem. also in nearly all of the episodes when alec has scenes with other mains- and magnus is not there- magnus is not mentioned. not so when it’s vice versa.

why not count any supporting characters you may be saying? because that’s not what i hear everyone demanding for alec or the others, is it? because he didn’t interact with raphael, his supposed son, in s1, or at all after 3x01 to the actual finale. because aside from her bringing madzie over in 3x11, catatrina and and him didn’t speak in 3b. she wasn’t even introduced until 3a (so 2 seasons w/o any friends.) they only spoke in 4 scenes total in all of s3. she was his best man, yet that’s not important enough to show on screen. ragnor was literally only 1 episode. who’s left- his jealous, bitter pathetic rival or his father who has obvious gross, creepy incestuous, jealous feelings for him. or alec’s mother, who only had scenes with him for the same reason maia/ jordan had all those scenes- to give them something to do away from the group/ main plotlines. why couldn’t magnus and maia had scenes together also or instead? and being bffs with his bf’s mom but not getting to even TALK to his parabatai, the person alec’s closest to platonically, let alone be friends, is truly beyond words. and also harry and matt are only 5 years apart (kat/ dom have more of an age difference) so i’m tired of the writers/ fans keeping alec in the playpen with his younger co-stars while magnus is separated to only older ones.

and also i just really don’t care about supporting characters. i see them as just taking screentime away from the mains, specifically the downworlder mains, who are already running on limited time. look at 3x13 when they want to do a whole heidi arc, who gets cut- magnus. or in 3x17 when they want to introduce helen and aline, i resented them right off the bat for getting twice as much screentime than magnus, a main character, in that important episode for him. throughout the whole show, whenever supporting characters are getting screentime, it always means magnus, maia, and luke are not. that’s not good.

some final thoughts, nearly every single malec fan spent the entire 9 month hiatus from 3a to 3b relentlessly saying alec needs interactions. as if he didn’t get huge bonding arcs with clary and jace in s1 and 2a and 3a. as if he doesn’t talk to and go places and do things with clary, jace, and izzy nearly every single episode, every single season since the beginning. mighty handy to not count the 3 of them when you want to cry “alec has no friends” every single day, as if he hasn’t had an enemy to friendship arc with clary 3 times in 3 seasons. as if he hasn’t had a dying, can’t live without you arc with jace 3 times in 3 seasons. as if he doesn’t hug jace twice more than magnus per half season. as if he doesn’t have izzy there to lean on and talk to. funny how siblings don’t count as friends when it’s mighty convenient that’s they’re the only mains to have siblings. i would kill, KILL, for magnus to be even talk to jace and izzy let alone be real friends, yet fans are taking their friendships with alec for granted, while simultaneously saying they’re robbed of the parabatai dynamic. that’s rich.

if alec having scenes every other ep, and melodramatic arcs every other half season, wasn’t such a guarantee the fans have learned they could count on, nobody would say that his siblings and clary don’t count. but everyone knew they could say that because we know it wouldn’t be taken away. i mean, look at the stark siblings in game of thrones. they never interacted, and the entire fandom cried about that being the most important friendships to show, but it wasn’t shown. this fandom needs to put things in perspective and stop taking the lightwoods sibs and the shadowhunters squad dyamic for granted and realize that magnus and maia don’t get even a minuscule fraction of that. also want to add that simon got plenty of constant sturdy dynamics too, with clary, jace, luke, maia, and izzy. and fans got their alec/ simon content and yet still so ungrateful. i beg the malecs to compare what magnus gets before complaining.

[multimetaverse]

Wait the show changed Chinese New Years from 2017 to 2018? The timeline is messy lmao

Yes, originally the show was supposed to take place a little bit in the future, so it premiered in our world in April 2016 but the story started in September 2016 but later on the show decided to retcon it so that the show started in September 2017 in an attempt to keep ahead of our real world time which ultimately failed. That’s why instead of having the Year of the Rooster in 2x02 which would have been the correct lunar new year for 2017 they changed it to the Year of the Dog which was the correct one for 2018. The timeline is not as messy as people like to claim it is and there is a rough timeline for the series contained in the context clues in the dialogue as you can see when I lay it out in production order. Obviously we get scenes in 2b that should be taking place in late Spring clearly being filmed in Winter but that’s the price the show paid for filming on location in Utah and we just have to suspend our disbelief for that. 

1x01- Takes place September 28th 2017 on Andi’s 13th birthday. People get too hung up on the hospital bracelet dates, just spring it forward a year like the show did from 2003 to 2004

2x02- Takes place on February 16th 2018 as that was the date the lunar new year of the dog fell on.  So Cyrus coming out to Buffy happens in early to mid February

2x15 -  Takes place around April 20th 2018. We know this because it’s the day after Cyrus’ Bash Mitzvah and Buffy reveals she’s moving in ten days but Andi tries to get her to stay with Celia since there’s two months left in the school year and in America the school year typically ends around June 20th. So working backward we can tell that the Marty left sometime in March, the muffin scene was early April, and the swings and invitation scene were mid April shortly before the Bash Mitzvah.

2x21- Takes place around May 1st 2018 as Buffy moves as her 10 days are up. Now it wasn’t really ten days, we can tell by the number of weekends that it would have been closer to three weeks but that’s on the writers. The timeline get’s much messier after this which unsurprisingly correlates with the writing getting worse.

2x26- Takes place around June 20th as it’s almost the end of the school year. Buffy was supposed to be gone for two months but in the only Disney editing decision I agree with, they cut that title card from 2x22 when Buffy returned. That wouldn’t have really made sense since that would put her return in July after school is out but it is what it is. Jonah has already left for Frisbee camp in 2x25 despite school still being in session which I think was an artifact of Jonah still being a year older at this point and in some schools different grades may get out a little earlier.

3x01- Takes place around August 20th as it’s been two months since Jonah went off to camp for summer and the American school year starts around August 20th. Things get messier after this since technically 3x02 would have had to take place on September 24th 2018 as that’s the date of the mid autumn festival but there’s no way to make that work because of the info we get in 3x04. In the show’s timeline 3x02 followed quite closely after 3x01 as Andi is unsure whether to officially end things with Jonah despite trying to do so at the end of 3x01. 

3x04- Takes place around mid September 2018 as TJ mentions that it’s the third week of school.

3x07- Takes place around mid September 2018 as Buffy mentions she just founded the Spikes that same week and Andi refers to Jonah running off in 3x04 after she jokes about him liking someone new as something that happened the other day. Again it’s impossible for 3x04-07 to actually take place within a week given the number of weekends that occurred but we just have to roll with it.

3x12- Takes place in late October 2018. Jonah says that he learned a couple of months ago that his parents had to file for bankruptcy and that they would lose their house. Since he was gone all summer and 3x02 took place shortly after he got back we’re looking at 3x12 taking place two months after he got back in late August. 

The timeline is actually pretty smooth from here on out. 3x13 takes place immediately after 3x12 and costume day seems to be stand in for Halloween which fits with the timeline. 3x14 takes place right the weekend following costume day as Andi is just then telling her friends about the wedding, which was just weeks away according to Buffy, being cancelled. 3x15 seems to be the next weekend after that and 3x16 picks up the next weekend as the kids start their community service and then the rest of 3x16 and 3x17 take place in the same week or so of time. 

The cut 318 was almost certainly the next weekend after 3x17 ended as we know the Jamber breakup scene and Muffy friendzoning scene in 3x17 were re-shoots to replace scenes lost in 318. 3x19 must take place the school week after 318 as Buffy’s friends just then find out about her boot which Buffy didn’t have in 3x17. Buffy’s injury also makes for a nice way to track the timeline as we can see her foot get progressively worse over the weeks. 

3x19 must be late November as Andi says her SAVA application is due at the end of the month. 3x20 takes place shortly afterwards as Jonah mentions his family moving into an apartment in 3x19. And 3x21 must take place shortly after 3x20 as Bex and Bowie have their first dance as a married couple which puts the finale in early December 2018. Those pre finale texts make no sense as even stretching the time line ridiculously does not get 3x21 anywhere near the end of the school year and they deliberately put snow on the ground on the backyard set because it’s meant to take place in winter. 

So we have a rough time line for the show of September 28th 2017- early December 2018 from pilot to series finale. It’s not perfect and you can add or subtract a few weeks here or there but it works fairly well and follows what the writers told us in the dialogue.

[tjkiahgb]

Listen, I got so caught up in Tyrus Week, spending hours and hours going through tags and liking posts and queuing reblogs, that I pretty much pushed everything else to the side. (Plus I’ve also been working on the next thing I’ll tell you guys about in the next few days.)

All that is to say, I got a lot of stuff in my inbox this last week, so I’m just going to tackle a bunch of them in... A LIGHTNING ROUND.

Let’s go.

And before you ask, yes, I made a graphic for it.

Looks like this Andi Mack finale party has turned into... a death party.

Would’ve been a strange choice for Terri Minsky to turn the finale of Andi Mack into a murder mystery, but if that’s what she wanted, I’d trust her.

I don’t watch that show but I know some people who do and they’ve told me it’s just light and airy and pleasant, so, yeah, sounds right up Cyrus’s alley.

You guys are shouting Lightning Round! every time the graphic comes up, right?

I, like TJ, am just some guy. I tell everyone who asks to call me Jay. Jay is long for “J”, which is short for another name that I, also like TJ, only let people related to me by blood or my soulmate know about. I will say it’s not Jagger, though. I wish.

That wasn’t my intention while writing TJ and the Gals, but as with all art, or whatever TJ and the Gals was, once it’s out of the creator’s hands, it belongs to the people.

No.

Thelonious Jagger Kippen Is A Hashtag Good Boi.

Shoutout to my FAQ page, where you can find information like this and more. Not blaming you, anon, I’ve gotten this a lot and the FAQ page is hard to find. I mostly just delete the question and let the anon live in mystery because I’m chaotic something. I’m only answering this now because it’s the

You know the shook_bitch? Thank them from me for getting Disney Channel to respond to them, and congratulate them on being the subject of the best comment the Disney Channel Instagram account ever made.

Yeah, I went back and checked and Jonah only says in 3x12 that his dad made a bad investment, not lost a job or anything.

It really seems like he’s been managing the Judy Bartholomew fortune all these years. We don’t know anything else of him other than he was once a background workout video guy and he has at least enough knowledge about baseball to coach little league.

Hopefully the new job is providing him with a solid salary, but if not, I think the world is ready for a Judy Bartholomew comeback.

Judy Bartholomew: Still Trottin’ After All These Years

I’m not entirely sure exactly which girl we’re talking about here. I think this one:

I will say, she does seem into it. She’s like, oh, things are about to get gay in here.

Honestly, there were so many background actors killing it in this scene.

You’ve got this guy...

...who hears the beginning of “Born This Way” and reacts like it’s ruined his evening. I mean, I was a little tired of it, too, when it was being played on the radio over and over and over, but it’s been some years. It’s not overplayed as much anymore and it definitely wouldn’t make me this upset. (He pops up later in the song and is happily dancing, so maybe he thought it was the beginning of a different song?)

Then there’s this girl...

...who is feeling it. She’s like, hell yeah, this is my jam!

And there’s this girl in the goggles...

...who, after TJ and Cyrus sing the “be myself, respect my youth” part, is like, okayyyy. I see you.

Here’s a fun(?) behind-the-scenes thing for this blog. A few months back, I was thinking about ways to replace “Moments” if we had, by some miracle, gotten a season four, since I would’ve run out of moments weeks after the finale. What I came up with was “The Random Andi Mack Extra of the Day.” It would’ve just been screenshots of random extras throughout the show’s run. Upon some reflection, this was a bad idea.

The first problem here is that I get the feeling those posts would’ve gotten, at most, 20-30 notes each, because no one really cares about random, out of context extras and it doesn’t seem like a thing people would want to reblog.

The second problem is, knowing myself, I probably would’ve spent hundreds of hours during the hiatus between s3 and s4 making 1000 of them in the first place, just so I could have them ready to go. I would’ve absolutely done this without testing the waters first to see if there was any interest. (Just like with the “Moments.” I made like 300 of them before I made the first post about them.)

So, the most likely scenario was going to be me, two weeks into “The RAMEotD,” looking at flopping posts, then looking at my folder of 800 screenshots of Andi Mack extras and going, “Well, what am I going to do, not post them? I already did all the work!” And I would keeping queuing them up, and they would keep appearing on this blog every day, and they would taunt me with their 22 notes. You remember the work you did? IT WAS FOR BUT A PITTANCE!

So I guess what I’m saying is maybe it’s for the best. The cancellation saves me from myself.

Hey, though, heads up. If and when you go back and watch the series again, pay attention to the extras -- the unsung heroes of the entertainment industry. There are some extras reallllly putting in work on this show. It absolutely adds to the delightful quality of Andi Mack. Every time I would spot someone in the background being goofy or really overselling whatever they were supposed to be experiencing, it filled me with joy.

It’s a fun show. Everything about it is fun, including the little details.

Ooh, a serious one. This is going to be my first ever hybrid Discussion/Analysis post.

Okay, so I think we’re talking about two different things here.

I won’t argue that I think Tyrus could have absolutely happened sooner and been explored more.

I obviously can’t say with certainty, but I assume that was at least somewhat the plan leading out of season two. The setup for their relationship was all already there by the end of it. They’d met, they had bumps, they grew really close, and they capped the whole season off with TJ looking back at Cyrus. All the elements were in place that you could jump right into this storyline in TJ’s next appearance. (Not necessarily them canoning, but at least the exploration of TJ’s feelings or some movement towards canoning.)

When Cyrus’s lookback happened, it was addressed in the very next episode (granted following a break in seasons). I don’t know that TJ’s would’ve been as immediate, but I don’t think you have him look back in the season two finale if you don’t intend on truly paying it off for 21 episodes. (Or, at least 13, if you want to say 3x13 was the real start of a storyline involving TJ’s homosexuality.)

So, yeah, look, I’m speculating wildly, but I would imagine the original creative idea was to address TJ’s lookback early in season three and start getting into it, and that, yes, that idea was likely kiboshed from above.

What I will argue is that the bench scene is subtle but not ambiguous. We’ve made the semi-joke constantly around here that there’s “No heterosexual explanation for this!” but, truly, there is no heterosexual explanation for the bench scene: two boys, one of whom has already explicitly stated he’s gay, slowly reaching for and holding each other’s hands, intertwining their fingers while they sit by the fire and stare into each other’s eyes, nervously smiling. This is something that has been built towards for multiple seasons. If you’ve been watching the show, if you’ve been paying attention to it, if you care about the characters, especially TJ and Cyrus, it’s very clear what’s happening here.

This feels like talking about people who weren’t sure Cyrus was gay after the first two times he came out because he didn’t use the word. Or people who thought Cyrus wasn’t gay anymore after he said his crush on Jonah was gone. I sympathize with some of the younger set who maybe don’t have the world sense to follow along with this, but, come on, at some point, we’re three seasons in and you have to keep up with the level of the storytelling. I don’t mean this in an insulting way, but if someone can’t get what’s happening here, then maybe this whole thing isn’t for them. Maybe if all they know right now is that Cyrus is gay and accepted and happy, then that’s good enough, and they can hold onto that idea and grow with that and catch the next train, whenever it comes along. Maybe this moment is for all the people who get it.

That’s about the kids in the casual audience. Now, if we’re talking about an adult homophobe -- one who would express the kind of outrage that we believe Disney fears -- it’s a different story. If an adult homophobe is really watching that scene and thinking, “Seems pretty straight to me” then it feels like it doesn’t matter what they would’ve done in the finale. They could’ve said “gay,” they could’ve said “boyfriend,” Cyrus and TJ could’ve lead a pride parade down the street outside Celia’s house while blasting -- well, I was going to pick a gay song here for the joke, but probably “Born This Way” would be the most appropriate one, so -- “Born This Way” from loud speakers, and that homophobe would’ve been like, “Nice parade.” As ignorant as homophobes are, even they are not that dense. An adult pretending Tyrus isn’t a couple after the bench scene requires a level of impenetrably willful ignorance.

Anyway, the truth is that angry homophobes aren’t watching the show. They never do. They like to read headlines and get mad, but they’re cowardly and, most of all, lazy, and they don’t like to put in the actual footwork. They like to leave comments on articles they haven’t read, about shows they haven’t watched. They like to post reactions to stuff they see in their Facebook feed or send one sentence responses like, “There goes Disney Channel!!!” or “What is happening to our country?!?!” And then they like to scroll on to the next thing that will feed their sad rage about how the world is changing around them.

If you want to think about Disney censorship as a way of preventing those homophobes from being outraged, it’s not the textuality of the scene itself, it’s the placement at the end. Delaying them canoning until the finale just makes for less work. Show’s over. There’s nothing to defend. No one’s signing a petition to get a show off the air that’s just aired its last episode. Most of the articles written will be about everything happening in the finale, and Tyrus would just be a part of it.

And that is more or less what’s happened. Just about every major article I’ve seen about the finale has discussed Tyrus, and discussed them as textually getting together -- again, there’s no ambiguity there -- but has also brought them up in conjunction with what happened with Andi and Jonah, with Muffy getting together, and with Andi getting into SAVA. And the articles themselves tend to largely be about the show ending as a whole and its impact. (No one needs to send me articles trying to prove or disprove this. I’ve been over a lot of them. Some are more Tyrus focused -- the ones in the gay media for sure -- and some just mention it -- more traditional media sources. This is the general gist of most of them.)

So the article headlines mostly read “Andi Mack Finale” or “Andi Mack Ends Run” or something like that. The homophobes -- who, again, aren’t watching the show and are getting all their information about it via article headlines -- see those headlines and don’t even remember Andi Mack was the show they hated from two years ago because their rage is mostly performative and short-lived. They get mad in the minute but forget about the specifics of the stuff within a day.

Like I said in the recap, I won’t argue that there’s a scene with more that wouldn’t work, but I personally don’t see the bench scene as not having accomplished everything it needed to.

Oh, that went longer than I thought it was going to be. Not very lightning round of me.

This actually got sent a while back but it was still in my inbox and I figured I’d throw it in here in case the anon saw it. Lightning round!

Sorry, anon, I wasn’t ignoring you and I appreciate you reading my old recaps, but you were the second anon to piece together that I am actually blessed with psychic powers.

I don’t really have any plans to, sorry.

I had only planned to do one set before and after the finale for Tyrus Week, but I will point you and anyone else interested in making their own TJ and Cyrus texts to this post I made that should give you the basic tools needed for the job. (Use them! You wouldn’t believe what a pain in the butt it was to get that background clean like that!)

Thank you, honestly. That’s so, so sweet. But I have no plans to do that.

Like I mentioned at the start of this post, I’m working on something now that I’ll tell you guys about shortly that’s look-backy and will hit on some stuff from those seasons. (Though not in the same vein as the recaps.)

The recaps take a long time to produce, and as much as I’ve loved this show and this fandom, I will be honest and tell you guys I am sort of planning my exit.

This blog has become something of a part-time job for me. Not in the work sense because I have truly enjoyed all this, but just in the time sense. I’ve put a lot of time in and I would like to rededicate that time back toward other things I’ve put on hold for the last year and a half.

It’s starting to feel like making you shout Lightning Round! each time was a mistake now that I’m answering stuff seriously or sadly.

I was getting emotional multiple times while writing it, because of the show, because of the fandom, because of this whole journey we’ve all been on together.

I appreciate you saying this so much because that’s what I’ve always hoped has come through in the things I’ve written about this show. That I’ll make jokes or point out holes or goofy details or whatever, but that I couldn’t do this -- I couldn’t commit myself to this as much as I have -- if I truly didn’t love the show. That everything I’m doing here comes from a place of love and celebrating the show and embracing it for its good stuff and its silly stuff.

It wasn’t a perfect show, but that was always what made it kind of perfect.

Thanks for the asks. Thus ends the lightning round.

[serenagaywaterford]

Idk if you remember but I sent an anon a while back saying I was going on vacation and wasn't gonna watch for 3 weeks, but then I got back and just didn't feel like watching,, so now another two weeks later I just binge watched 3x09-3x13 and have been in THT hell for the past 5 hours; so yeah that was a season I guess, I'll just wait for s4 to finish to binge watch it and then forget for another year. Only good thing as a lesbian was how good Yvonne looked at the end of the season and I oop- pt1

Pt2. Anyways it sucks that you’re quitting cause reading your thoughts and rants was the best part of this season for me tbh. Whatever happens I will go down with the June/Serena ship and I can’t wait for your fanon headcanons and amazing fics, do what feels right for you but I hope you stick around at least for this ship, you have made me laugh and relate to this content way more than THT did this season! So ty💕

Pt3. Sorry this is long, but I saw Margaret Atwood is bringing out another book in the THT universe and honestly I’m pretty excited about reading that since I really liked the book and she hasn’t let me down yet, way more excited than about the show oops. Do you plan on reading it?

———

(I remember you :) *insert deadmau5 song here for memories*)

“that was a season I guess”

how is this exactly my feeling? like. it was a season. (i may add a few negative adjectives to it. but yeah. you can’t argue that it was indeed, a season.)

LOL YVONNE is literally the only thing saving anything about this season. Like the character may suck and the show is a disappointing mess, but damn, girl looks fine af. There’s literally nothing else for me.

TBH, I will never give up on June/Serena. I have given up on shows for way less than what THT has done, but never given up on the ships. Like I was OBSESSED with GOT for 2 seasons, and Dany/Doreah. And what’s funny is even now, even hating GOT, I still like that ship. It still is pleasing to me. If I see a gifset (I don’t, but if I did lol), I’d still feel good things. And right now, the pain of THT is still super raw so I’m still super into the ship. Although tbh, the core of June/Serena shippers is way more dedicated and invested in headcanons so that makes it easier to stick around. There are so many great people to talk to and be inspired by. It’s really a blessing that even though the show is junk, the shippers are so good. I can’t leave that part of fandom.

All you crazy trash pandas make it worth it. I may live vicariously through your posts come S4 lol. I’ll deffo look at gifsets. (As I did with GOT until Margaery was killed lol.) And I can’t say I’ll stay away forever IF (and only if) THT gets back on track. And by back on track, I clearly mean June and Serena interact and rebuild that fascinating dynamic again. I have very little faith this is the route THT/Miller wants to take the show, so meh. But I mean, that would tempt me back. I’m a soft, easy bitch when it comes down to it.

I AM EXCITED FOR THE ATWOOD SEQUEL. Now, THAT is something I do have faith in! :D

[justkimberley]

Mount Rushmore Plays a Major Foul

I posted a link to this about a week ago, but I thought that I should post the story too (aka, you might have already read this so sorry for repetitiveness).

Word Count: 5302

Summary: Cyrus, Buffy, Jonah, and Andi decide to go to Costume Day as Mount Rushmore, but TJ asks Cyrus to be part of a matching costume with him. Will Cyrus be able to match with TJ? What if he gives TJ the answer too late? We'll see what happens.

This is more or less my prediction for what will happen in 3x13 but it's just a theory and its probably not accurate and also too fluffy for the actual show so,,,

Ao3 Link: x

          Jonah, Andi, Buffy and Cyrus were eating at The Spoon when Andi got a notification from the school website. She was the only one in the group that had actually wanted to know what was going on at the school. . . all the time. “Guys! Metcalf just announced Costume Day!”

           This peaked their interest. Costume Day was one of the most anticipated days of the year. “When is it?” Buffy asked.

           Andi’s faced dropped as she read through the announcement “It’s on Friday,”

           “But. . . it’s Wednesday today! That gives us less than two days, that’s too soon!” Buffy exclaimed. Less than two days was not enough time. The Student Activity Council always had prizes for the best costumes, but there was no way they had enough time to come up with something prize worthy. There were kids who started planning and making their costumes for Costume Day the first day of school.

           “Yeah, that’s not enough time to come up with an original idea and find all the parts to make it happen!” Cyrus said.

           “I mean we don’t have to participate, those kids that prepare for it from the beginning of the year should get some recognition,” Jonah said as he shrugged and returned to the baby taters that he had been sharing with Cyrus.

           “Guys, hello!” Andi said, “We know what we’re going to be!”

           “We do?” asked Cyrus. Had they already talked about this? He didn’t remember them ever talking about Costume Day, but he had been spacing out a lot recently.

           “Mount Rushmore!” Now Cyrus knew that they hadn’t talked about this before. Not only is he pretty sure that he hasn’t heard Andi say Mount Rushmore since they were in fourth grade, but he was also certain that he would remember any debate they had about who looked the most like each president. Not to mention, the looks on Jonah and Buffy’s faces were just as confused as Cyrus felt. Andi was, however, very excited about this idea and none of them had a better idea, so they agreed to participate in the costume as Mount Rushmore.

           “I’ll do all the planning and get it ready, you guys will just have to come by my house on Friday morning to get your makeup done by Bex.” Andi was practically vibrating as she said this, Cyrus could almost see the gears turning in her head as she planned the costume. Cyrus, Buffy, and Jonah all thought that sounded good, so they nodded in agreement. It seemed like the costume was going to work, and this would be the easiest way to do it. They all parted ways as they left The Spoon to head home after their post-school hang out.

           Cyrus decided to walk home through the park because a) it was shorter, and b) walking in the park was way nicer than walking on the street. The park was so green, it smelled nice, and he liked seeing all the little kids having fun. As Cyrus was reflecting on how much he loved the park he heard footsteps coming up behind him. “Hey, Underdog! What’s up?” TJ said as he came up beside Cyrus.

           “Eh, not much, just walking home from my popular kids club meeting,” Cyrus joked, smiling as he turned to look at TJ.

           “I thought you said that those were on Fridays?” TJ asked laughing with Cyrus.

           “Oops,” Cyrus giggled, turning back to look where he was walking.

           “So, what have you got going on for Costume Day?” TJ asked.

           “Costume Day? You don’t strike me as a Costume Day guy,” Cyrus replied turning to look at TJ again. It’s not like TJ would think that dressing up isn’t cool, but more that Cyrus thought TJ might think that dressing up would be too much effort for no reason.

           “There’s a lot about me that you don’t know yet Underdog,” TJ said mysteriously, looking away from Cyrus and into the distance ahead of him, “I’ve got layers,” TJ finished turning back to face Cyrus and smiling.

           “Like an ogre?” Cyrus jokingly replied bumping his shoulder against TJ’s.

           “Let’s say that I’m more like a parfait, or a cake. Everybody loves cake,” TJ smiled at Cyrus, knocking their shoulders together again after finishing his quote, “So, do you have any plans for costume day?”

           “Well, Andi wants us to go as Mount Rushmore, but I don’t really like that idea. I also, however, don’t have any better ideas,” Cyrus said dejectedly, he didn’t want to be rude, but he didn’t really want to dress up as a dead old man whose face was on a mountain, “What are you going to do for Costume Day?”

           “Well, I was wondering if you wanted to do a matching costume with me? I have this idea but, it requires two people,”

           “What’s your idea?”

           “Salt and Pepper shakers!” TJ exclaimed, clearly very excited about this plan, “Think about it Underdog! One person wears all white with a black S on their shirt, and then the other person wears all black with a white P on their shirt! It would be super fast to pull together because we’ve only got one more day after today to get everything ready and it wouldn’t require any itchy face-paint,” TJ had been gesturing with his hands while explaining his idea, and Cyrus could see TJ’s smile getting wider and wider as he kept talking.

           “You know what? I really like that idea! I’m in!”

           “Are you sure that Andi will be okay with you bailing on Mount Rushmore?” TJ asked hesitantly, “I really don’t want to cause problems within the Good Hair Crew,” he finished, looking nervous but also hopeful.

           “I’m sure it’ll be fine, I like this idea better anyway!” Cyrus was smiling wide and looking at TJ. The tips of TJ’s ears turned pink, but Cyrus was sure it was out of excitement for their costume. Cyrus and TJ had reached the end of the park and were getting closer to Cyrus’ house.

           “Awesome! Would you rather be salt or pepper? I don’t really have any white clothes, but I could go buy some or borrow from my dad.” TJ said immediately jumping into planning mode.

           “I. . . actually happen to own an entirely white outfit,” Cyrus said after thinking about it, “And, surprisingly, I haven’t stained it yet!” TJ and Cyrus chuckled at that and stopped walking. They had reached Cyrus’ house. “Well, sadly, this is where we must part!” Cyrus said in what he would call his “Shakespearean Voice”. He and TJ had English together this semester, and their class was currently reading Romeo and Juliet.

           “And what a bittersweet farewell it must be!” TJ replied laughing, “Are you sure you want to do the costume with me?” TJ asked quietly, looking down at the ground. Cyrus had never seen TJ act so shy before, it was different to say the least.

           “Yes TJ, I’m sure. It’s going to be so great!”

           “This is going to be so good, I’m so excited!” TJ smiled and continued walking backwards down the sidewalk towards his house, “See you tomorrow underdog!” TJ smiled and turned from Cyrus. Cyrus smiled as he watched TJ walk away.

           As Cyrus came down from the high of the awesome costume idea, he realized that he had to tell Andi. His stomach dropped and he felt like he had swallowed a rock. What should he say? He couldn’t just say “Andi, I didn’t like your costume idea and TJ had a better one so I’m going with him” and Cyrus couldn’t really bail on the costume because Mount Rushmore had four presidents on it, not three. If he wasn’t a part of it, who would be Lincoln? Oh no, Cyrus really hadn’t thought this through. Why had he been so quick to dismiss his original plans in the first place? He and TJ were best friends, but Cyrus had known Buffy, Jonah, and Andi for way longer and they were his best friends too. Cyrus decided that the best thing to do would be to ask Buffy at school tomorrow what she thought.

           “Do you think Andi will still be my friend if I bail on Mount Rushmore?” Cyrus rushed out the words as he and Buffy walked towards the school.

           “Quick answer? No,” Buffy said, “Why do you want to bail on Mount Rushmore?”

           “Because TJ wants to do a matching costume and I like that costume idea better than Mount Rushmore,”

           “Are you sure it isn’t because you like TJ better,” Buffy said raising her eyebrows knowingly.

           “What are you implying? You guys are all my best friends, I like you all equally,” Cyrus was confused, had he done something to make Buffy doubt how much he cared about their friendship?

           “I didn’t mean that you like him more than us I meant that maybe you like him in a different way than us?” Buffy was still making that weird knowing face and Cyrus stared at her for a few seconds before he understood what she was saying.

           Cyrus lightly hit Buffy’s shoulder and blushed, “Buffy, just because I’m good friends with a guy doesn’t mean I like him,”

           “I know that Cyrus, but have you noticed how nice TJ is to you? And how you guys always seem to get stuck in your own conversation, even when we’re in a group?”

           “As I said, we are best friends Buffy! But what should I tell Andi?” Cyrus asked, getting back to the pressing matter at hand.

           “Just tell her that you want to do the costume with TJ, she should understand. After all, we are best friends,” she said, mockingly throwing the term back at Cyrus.

           “Okay, right, I can do that,” Cyrus said and took a deep breath, walking towards Andi’s locker as Buffy went off to go talk to Marty.

           “Hey, Andi can I ask you something?”

           “Yeah Cyrus, what is it?” Andi replied distractedly as she searched for the books that she needed.

           “Um, well, isitokayifIbailonMountRushmore?”

           “What?” She stopped looking in her locker and turned to face Cyrus, a look of confusion spreading on her face.

           “Is it, uh, is it okay if I bail on Mount Rushmore?”            “What? Cyrus, why? I thought you liked the idea? You don’t even have to put anything in to planning it!”

           “I did like it, I just. . . like a different idea better?”

           “You want us to do a different group costume? Cyrus there is no time to figure that out! I already got all the Mount Rushmore stuff together!” Andi looked a bit panicked as she said this, and Cyrus had to admit, she had every reason to be, she put a lot of work into this.

           “No! I don’t want us to be a different group costume, I want me to be in a different group’s costume,”

           “What?” Andi looked confused again, and Cyrus had to admit that he definitely did not explain that well.

           “TJ asked me to do a matching costume with him after you came up with the Mount Rushmore costume,” Cyrus explained, “And I want to match with TJ instead,”

           “So, you’re going to ditch us to be with TJ?” Andi did not look impressed.

           “I mean technically that is what I want to do, but why did you word it like that? I don’t want to ditch you, I just want to be with you guys in a different costume than what was originally planned! If you really don’t want me to though, I won’t match with TJ,” Cyrus said, staring at his shoes, hoping that Andi would get it.            “I don’t want you to! I put so much work into the costume already, we can’t be Mount Rushmore without Lincoln!” Andi said, and yeah, Cyrus could see where she was coming from, but he had really hoped he could match with TJ.

           “Okay, I won’t do it with TJ. I get it, you put a lot of work into the costume,”

           “Good. See you later?” Andi asked looking satisfied.

           “Yeah, see you later,” Cyrus said, trying to sound happy but, in reality, he was actually quite disappointed that he wasn’t going to match with TJ.

           “Hey, TJ, can I talk to you?” Cyrus asked nervously, fidgeting with the bottom of his shirt and looking at the ground.

           “Yeah, what’s up Underdog? You seem nervous,” TJ said as they walked down the hall towards their classrooms. After lunch they both had class in the same end of the school, so they usually walked there together.

           “Ican’tdothecostumewithyou,”

           “What?” TJ turned to face Cyrus, looking confused.

           “I, um, I can’t do the costume with you anymore,” Cyrus said turning to look at TJ just in time to watch as TJ’s face fell.

           “Why?” TJ asked, he looked so sad, Cyrus wanted nothing more than to give him a hug and beg for forgiveness until the end of time.

           “I’m really sorry TJ! I really do want to be the salt to your pepper, but Andi’s not letting me bail on Mount Rushmore,” Cyrus said looking TJ in the eyes, and hoping that TJ could see how sorry Cyrus felt.

           “Okay, I get it, she did probably put a lot of work into it. That’s fine I guess, I’ll be fine,” TJ looked at the ground, a frown setting in on his face and took a deep breath, “I’ll see you tomorrow then Mr. Lincoln,” TJ half-heartedly joked, flashing Cyrus a partial smile.

           “I’ll see you tomorrow TJ, I really am sorry,” Cyrus said as they parted ways.

           Cyrus was laying on his bed dejectedly thinking about tomorrow when he came up with the ultimate solution. Cyrus called Buffy. “Hey Buffy, is Marty dressing up as anything for costume day?”

           “Hi Cyrus, I’m great, thanks for asking,”

           “Sorry Buffy but this is urgent, is he?”

           “No, he said there wasn’t enough time to plan a costume that would be ‘epic enough to portray his awesomeness’,” Buffy scoffed into the phone.

           “Do you think he might want to be Abraham Lincoln, in statue form?”

           “Maybe? Why?” Buffy sounded like she knew Cyrus was up to something.

           “Because, if Marty goes with you guys then I can go with TJ!” Cyrus exclaimed.

           “You know what Cyrus? That actually might work! I’ll ask Marty and let you know what he says. If he’s in then you have to tell Andi,”

           “Thank you so much Buffy, you are the best!”

           “I know! Talk to you later Cy,”

           “Bye Buff!”            Cyrus started putting together his salt costume after they hung up while he waited to hear back from Buffy. He went to his closet and found his white jeans (that he had never felt confident enough to pull off but wanted anyways) and a white long sleeve shirt he had that for some reason had a giant S on it. It was a weird thing to own, and he knew that, but that’s kind of why he bought it. ‘S’ had literally nothing to do with his life, but he’s got a shirt with a giant S anyway. Buffy and Andi didn’t understand why he thought it was so funny but his mom did so who cares? As long as it made someone laugh right? Then Cyrus pulled out a pair of white shoes that he had from the back of his closet. He was originally going to ask Walker to paint them for him when Walker and Buffy were getting along so well. Unfortunately, that kind of stopped being a thing before Cyrus had asked him, so Cyrus had shoved the shoes to the back of his closet. Cyrus looked at his costume. He was pretty impressed that he actually had all of these pieces on hand. Just as Cyrus finished admiring his outfit, his phone went off.

           Buffy: Marty’s in, now talk to Andi

           Cyrus: Thank you Buffy <3

           Cyrus took a deep breath and called Andi. The phone rang three times before Andi picked up. “Hey Cyrus! What’s up, I’m kind of busy getting this costume ready,” Andi said distractedly.

           “Okay, don’t be mad, but I had an idea,”

           “Cyrus,” Andi says in a warning tone, “Don’t be mad is not a good way to start a conversation,”            “I know, I’m sorry, but, what if Marty took my place in Mount Rushmore! He said that he would do it, you guys would have a Lincoln, and I could be with TJ!”

           “I mean, I guess that could work,” Andi said, reluctantly.

           “Please Andi! I feel bad because I don’t think TJ has anyone else to go with and you guys don’t really need me specifically,”

           “Okay Cyrus, if you really want to go with TJ, I guess that’s fine. Marty looks more like Lincoln than you anyway,” Andi added in jokingly.

           “Okay, we both know that that’s not true, but I’ll let it slide because I’m bailing on the costume. You are the best! I’ll see you tomorrow okay!”

           “Okay Cyrus, see you tomorrow,”            Cyrus was so glad that was worked out, now he could match with TJ! Cyrus quickly texted TJ.

           Cyrus: Hey TJ! I worked it out with Andi, and we can go through with our salt and pepper costumes!

           Cyrus sent the text and went to work on his homework. He had a surprisingly productive night. He finished all of this week’s homework and even got started on a project that was due two weeks from now. As he got ready to go to sleep, he was feeling really good about his day and relishing in his amazing problem solving. He wished he had come up with it sooner, but oh well, c’est la vie. Cyrus was about to go to sleep when he realized that he hadn’t heard back from TJ. Cyrus looked in his chat with TJ to make sure he had actually sent the text. He had, it was staring right at him from its bubble, the little delivered written underneath confirming that it had sent, but there was no response back from TJ. Cyrus felt his gut twist with worry. Was TJ ignoring him? Was he mad that Cyrus had bailed on him only to come back last minute? With these as his last waking thoughts, Cyrus fell into a fitful sleep.

           The next morning was Costume Day and Cyrus decided that he would wear his salt costume even though TJ still hadn’t texted him back. It was too late to rejoin the Mount Rushmore costume, and maybe TJ would still dress up as pepper. Even if TJ didn’t dress up like pepper, Cyrus was still dressed as salt, so he did have a costume, even if it was a lonely one.

           Cyrus’ mom dropped him off at school, and he was walking to the door in his salt costume when he saw Marty, Buffy, Andi, and Jonah all walking side by side in their Mount Rushmore costume. He had to admit, it turned out pretty cool. “Hey guys! Looks great!”

           “Hey Cyrus! Nice. . . salt costume? Marty said, “Thanks for letting me take your place, I’ve always wanted to look like President Lincoln!”

           “Oh, well, it was my pleasure,” Cyrus laughed, searching the crowd of kids behind them for TJ.

           “So, is this like a duo costume or did you just really want to be salt Cy-guy?” asked Jonah.

           “Well, technically it’s supposed to be a duo costume, salt and pepper, but I’m not sure if my pepper will show up,” Cyrus sighed, still searching the crowd of students for TJ.

           “Who’s supposed to be the pepper?” Marty asked.

           “And why might they not show up?” Jonah added, looking a little concerned.

           “TJ was supposed to be pepper. I told him that I would do the salt and pepper costume with him after had I agreed to be Mount Rushmore with you guys. Then you guys needed me for the costume to make sense so I told him that I couldn’t. Then I thought that Marty could take my place, and he did, so I told TJ I could do the costume again. But. . . he never texted me back,” Cyrus finished stopping his search for TJ in the crowd in favour of looking at his very white sneakers.

           “Oh. That’s too bad Cyrus! Maybe he. . . fell asleep and didn’t plug his phone in?” Buffy said hopefully, “I don’t think that TJ would ignore you on purpose,”

           “I doubt he forgot to plug his phone in but thanks for trying. I’m pretty sure he’s ignoring me, he’d be here talking with us by now if he wasn’t,” Cyrus was trying to stay positive, but it was pretty hard. One of his best friends was ignoring him.            The group gave Cyrus a hug, careful to not get any mountain paint on Cyrus’ all white outfit, before the bell rang and they parted for their classes. Cyrus was walking towards English class when he finally saw TJ. He was wearing a white shirt and walking the same direction Cyrus was down the hallway while talking with Kira. Seeing TJ in a white shirt, Cyrus knew that TJ didn’t dress as pepper. Cyrus felt his heart plummet. It was all his fault and now TJ wasn’t even participating in costume day. He had been so excited to participate too. Cyrus felt the guilt start to eat at him. Cyrus watched TJ talk to Kira as they continued walking towards English, probably about basketball. Cyrus had never really seen them interact before, but he knew that sometimes they would play one on one games against each other on the weekends. Cyrus felt his heart clench at the thought of TJ playing basketball with her. Then Cyrus shook his head, he should be happy that TJ is getting more friends, not jealous. TJ and Cyrus were best friends, nothing could change that.

           Cyrus walked into English class a minute after TJ and Kira had and Cyrus finally saw them from the front. They were both wearing white shirts that said dribble.

           “Get it, like double dribble?” Kira asked one of her friends while pointing at her and TJ’s shirts. Cyrus felt tears start to gather in his eyes, and just as he was about to look away, TJ turned and made eye contact with him. Cyrus saw a look of confusion and then guilt cross over TJ’s face before Cyrus closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and walked to his seat. Cyrus was intent on not looking at TJ or Kira again for the rest of the day.

           Cyrus made it through English class by dabbing at his eyes every few seconds and staring intently at the board. He was not in the mood for Romeo and Juliet today, no matter how much of a classic it apparently was. He felt like he could feel TJ staring at him, but he knew that was probably a figment of his imagination. Why would TJ be staring at him? When the bell rang, Cyrus had already packed up early so he bolted out the door to his locker. He thought that he might have heard TJ say his name as he sped out but he wasn’t sure, and he still felt like crying, so he pushed through the crowd of students to disappear.

           Cyrus spent the rest of the morning hiding from TJ and taking different routes to classes so that he wouldn’t have to see him. Cyrus felt kind of guilty doing it because he was the one that had cancelled on the costume first, but he just couldn’t deal with seeing TJ and Kira together with their matching costumes.

           Cyrus was sitting in his final class before lunch when he decided to sort through what exactly he was feeling. Mostly he wanted to know why he was so upset by TJ matching with Kira. Logically, it made sense for TJ to find a new partner when Cyrus said he couldn’t do it. Logically, Cyrus should be happy that TJ has more friends. Logically, Cyrus shouldn’t be upset with TJ. But then again, feelings weren’t always logical, so why was he so upset?

           As he posed this question to himself Cyrus realized that Buffy had been right all along. Cyrus was upset because he liked TJ. Cyrus liked TJ in a different way than he liked his other friends. Cyrus was jealous that Kira got to be partners with TJ when he didn’t. Cyrus wanted to be the person that TJ partnered up with. This realization hit Cyrus like a bus, and suddenly a whole lot of things made a lot more sense. Every weird time he had gotten butterflies in his stomach, all the times when he would lose his train of thought because TJ bumped him, the way that he always felt better when TJ was around, everything made sense! But. . . Cyrus couldn’t deal with liking another straight boy! Having a crush on Jonah had been hard enough, and now he has to deal with having one on TJ! TJ was one of his best friends, how did he deal with that? Cyrus spiralled in these thoughts for the rest of the period and didn’t noticed the bell ring. He only realized it was lunch time when somebody bumped him on their way out of class.

           Cyrus sat down at the lunch table and sighed. All his friends were there except for TJ. He must be having lunch with Kira Cyrus thought making a face as jealousy pooled in his stomach.

           “Cyrus, what’s wrong?” Buffy asked, unsure whether asking was the right move or not. She had probably never seen Cyrus make that face before.

           “TJ is wearing a matching costume with Kira,” Cyrus explained, looking down at his food.

           “Oh! Well, that’s okay right? It means TJ’s making more friends and it means that he wasn’t completely devastated when you had to cancel your plans. Has. . . he texted you back yet?” Buffy asked hesitantly.

           “I haven’t looked at my phone. I don’t want to hear from him. And yes, I guess it’s okay that he’s matching with Kira, but I was hoping that we would match.” Cyrus says. He knows he sounds childish, but he can’t help it. He’s upset and this is the way he wanted to cope.

           “Cy-guy, why does it matter?” Jonah asked softly, “Your salt costume looks dope anyway without the pepper,” he added, trying to cheer Cyrus up.

           “It matters because I realized that Buffy was right,” Cyrus said, glaring at his sandwich.            The whole table looked at him in confusion at that statement. “I mean, not that I’m surprised, because I’m always right, but what was I right about in this case?” Buffy asked.

           Cyrus had already told all of the people at this table that he was gay, so really, he had nothing to lose, “You were right about me liking TJ,” he mumbled quietly so that those passing by wouldn’t hear.

           “I knew it!”

           “Yeah congratulations, I realized just in time to watch another one of my crushes get a girlfriend, woohoo,” Cyrus said sarcastically, staring down at the table. Everyone at the table had gotten eerily quiet. “Isn’t this when you guys are supposed to say something comforting?” Cyrus asked looking up to see his friends faces all making the same shocked expression, looking at something behind him.

           “Cyrus, turn around,” Buffy said, trying to contain her excitement. Cyrus was confused as to why she had picked that tone, but he turned anyway to see what all of his friends were looking at, he wanted to know what had caused the intense look of shock and excitement on all of their faces. Cyrus scanned the cafeteria, half expecting there to be a box full of puppies on the ground or something when he saw TJ.

           TJ was walking towards their table wearing an all black outfit with a white P on the chest, his face the picture of absolute determination. Cyrus stood up while TJ walked toward them, unsure whether he wanted to talk to TJ or run, but the second the Cyrus stood up TJ picked up his pace and locked eyes with Cyrus. Cyrus couldn’t move. When TJ reached the table, he put his hand on Cyrus’ shoulder, looked him in the eyes with a pleading expression and said, “Can we talk Underdog, please?” Cyrus could do nothing but nod in awe and follow TJ as he walked out of the Cafeteria.

           “I thought that you were matching with Kira today?” Cyrus asked as they sat down on a bench in the hallway, having regained control of his body.

           “I thought you were matching with the mountain men,” TJ replied jokingly. “Why were you ignoring me this morning,” He asked softly looking at the floor.

           “You ignored me first!” Cyrus exclaimed, he knew he was being immature, but he didn’t really care at the moment, “I texted you last night and told you that I could match with you, but you never replied,”

           “I know, I didn’t see your text because I left my phone in my locker after school yesterday, and then I got to school late because I slept in, because I didn’t have an alarm, and my phone was dead, so I charged it during first period in my homeroom. I wasn’t ignoring you, I didn’t see your text until homeroom, and when I texted telling you what happened you were already ignoring me,” TJ explained.

           Cyrus took a deep breath and stared hard at the floor, “I was ignoring you because seeing you matching with Kira made me upset,” Cyrus said reluctantly.

           TJ’s head snapped up to face Cyrus and blushed, “Why?”

           “Because I wanted to be matching with you,” Cyrus said, “And I know it sounds childish, but I liked that we were going to be matching and I didn’t want to have to. . . share my costume partner,” Cyrus’ face felt incredibly warm by the time he finished saying this, but TJ deserved the truth.

           “I always wanted to be matching with you Underdog, that’s why I asked you in the first place. And then you told me you couldn’t, and Kira asked if I would join her, so I did. I wanted to match you though. And then I saw you in English class today and you looked so, I mean, your costume looked so perfect, I texted my mom in homeroom to see if she could bring me my pepper costume. But then you were ignoring me,” TJ finished sadly.

           “I’m sorry I was ignoring you TJ, I just, really wanted to be the one who matched you,” Cyrus said looking TJ in the eyes, knowing that his face was probably fully red at this point.

           “Well I really wanted to be the one who matched you too,” TJ said semi-jokingly, “Otherwise I wouldn’t have asked my mom to bring this,” he finished, gesturing to his outfit.

           “Yeah?” Cyrus asked hopefully.

           “Yeah,” TJ confirmed, nodding.

           Cyrus wrapped his arms around TJ and pulled him in for a hug. TJ took a second to respond, but then hugged back with equal enthusiasm. “I’m really glad that we’re matching TJ,” said Cyrus.

           “Me too, and to think, all of this could have been avoided if there was no Mount Rushmore or double dribbling,”

           The two boys broke away from their hug, looked at each other, and laughed until they had tears in their eyes. “So, you ready to face the rest of the day together saltmaster?” TJ asked.

           “I wouldn’t have it any other way peppermill,” Cyrus replied smiling as TJ blushed at the nickname while they walked to the cafeteria to give lunch another shot, together this time.

[timeless-season-four]

Timeless Season 3: Ships, Trips, and Second-Half Teases (Brace Yourselves!)

Happy new year, Clockblockers. We made it through the hiatus, some sort of movie happened, and now we’re finally ready to pick up where we left off, with our spring premiere, “Stagecoach Mary,” which drops next week -- Sunday, January 13, at 8pm Eastern. If you recall, when we last saw our heroes at the end of 3x07 “Pasadena,” they were in quite a pickle. Stranded in the past somewhere, with Michael Temple on their tail and the faithful bunker blown up, we pick up for our back six episodes when the stakes are only getting higher and more deadly. Can the team survive Rittenhouse -- and each other?

First off, where are we going? We’re happy to report that the second half features some destinations that fans have wanted to see for a long time -- including 3x09, “The Stonewall Riots,” which places the modern LGBT rights movement at center stage and is personal and painful for our entire team, especially Lucy. Another fan favorite makes an ahem, shocking appearance in 3x11, “3.5 Million Volts,” and in between.... is that a chance of seeing everyone’s least favorite creepy cult grandpa again? David Rittenhouse, is that you?

(We’ll just say that 3x10 bears quite a few resemblances to its first-season counterpart, 1x10, “The Capture of Benedict Arnold.” This is going to go well!)

We can’t yet reveal where we’ll be traveling in our finale, but suffice to say, buckle up.

Next, who are we going to meet? The second half features some truly badass women -- starting in 3x08 with Stagecoach Mary herself, the real-life Mary Fields, and basically everyone in 3x09 (we can’t pick a favorite, they’re all too awesome). Connor gets to meet a personal hero in 3x10, though it may not go the way he hopes, and Flynn may just get a chance to bust out a few more languages in his repertoire (including his native one) in 3x11. 3x12 introduces us to the most important medical case that you may never have heard of, and our team may just be traveling forward as well as back. Are we going to see Future Lucy and Wyatt again, and learn more about where -- and when -- they came from? Is it very possibly going to blow your entire mind?

#nospoilers.

(We know, we know, we’re horrible.)

Thirdly, we all know that you have questions about how our favorite group of time-traveling idiots are possibly going to sort out their many levels of interpersonal entanglement. @viennainspringtime asked about Flynn and Jiya, since we all have feelings about Murder Dad and his psychic foster daughter, and they have a sweet moment in 3x08 that allows you to see just how protective Flynn now is of her. The rapid development of Jiya’s powers is also going to have major implications for Flynn’s fate. How, we can’t say.

@letmetellyouaboutmyfeels and @extasiswings had questions about Lucy’s car accident in college, Emma’s past, and her mother’s death, as referenced in the 3x07 flashbacks with Emma and Benjamin Cahill. The subject of Joanna Whitmore is going to blow up in a major way at the end of 3x08, and have direct implications to the power struggle shaping up between Emma and Michael Temple. As for Lucy’s car accident....

.... if we told you anything, we’d have to kill you.

We also had a few questions from Twitter about Flynn -- specifically, whether he was going to die. (We heard that happened somewhere. We’re not a fan.) We’ll say that the movie changed none of our ideas or scheduled episodes and we’re still writing the exact season 3 that we originally planned. On that note.... we feel it fair to warn you that there will be multiple major deaths in 3x13, and you’re probably not prepared. But the big question is: which timeline do these deaths happen in? Are they going to stick, or be changed? Why do they take place at all? Some of them you hope very much will stay dead, and some you’ll pray that they don’t. 3x13 is a huge, emotional, climactic finale that both brings together a three-season arc and leaves the door open for a possible season 4. We’ll see how that develops. In the meantime, you’ll suffer, but be happy about it.

As for ships, who (if anyone) is finally going to get together? The answer to that, as you might have expected, is “It’s complicated.” Rufus and Jiya are working on rekindling their romance, but a major revelation about how Rufus was saved is going to make him seriously wonder if he should have been, and Jiya’s increasing power will lead to other unsettling developments. We are going to get some big reveals about the timeline, the entire progression of the war against Rittenhouse to date, Lucy’s past (and future), and much more. As before, romance isn’t necessarily the first thing on anyone’s mind.

That said, fans of Lucy and Flynn will probably want to brace themselves. Lucy is increasingly realizing the depth of her feelings for Flynn, and is trying timidly to do something about it. He, in turn, can no longer deny his love for her. But you may have remembered that little fact about Lucy’s Heir of Slytherin status -- and it’s going to throw a huge curveball at those two that they may or may not recover from. A desperately lonely and overwhelmed Lucy is also turning in search of her old solace and connection with Wyatt, and those two have a few sweet moments as well, as Wyatt continues to make amends for his past behavior and be there for Lucy in a supportive and healthy way.

Does this mean love triangle drama? Not necessarily. After all, Flynn and Wyatt have their own issues to face, and we’ll see them becoming closer especially in 3x09, when they go undercover in more ways than one (to Wyatt’s considerable alarm). Wyatt is also going to be tested in sticking up for Flynn when things look really bad. Can the two men decisively overcome their past differences and unite over their deep feelings for Lucy and their determination to do what’s right for the team? Can we get more #FloganBattleCouple?

We hope so. We definitely do. And we’re about to find out. We’re not sure we’re ready for this, and yet.

Sunday, January 13, 8pm!

[fraybaness]

never let go

ao3

aka: i wrote the 3x12-3x13 reunions myself because canon was underwhelming

At first it’s just a glimpse of portal-wind-blown red hair and trembling arms and she’s so close - so within reach - that Luke begins to wonder if it was too good to be true after all.

Then she turns to them and their drawn weapons and screams, “ don’t shoot! ” and the world collapses around Luke. Collapses so it can build itself up again, the right way this time. Collapses so she can fix it.

His body is tense, like it is before he transforms, and he feels such intense relief that he thinks he might collapse - or actually turn - because she’s here , and she’s alive , and she hasn’t left him yet.

Clary screams as the blade rips into her her flesh, making Luke jolt out of his trance and focus on the mission again. Jonathan (and dear god, that’s Jonathan? That’s Jocelyn’s little boy?) yells something and activates his speed rune as he runs away. Alec and Jace chase after him, but they all know it’s useless: he’s faster than they are, they don’t know where he’s going, and they can’t hurt him without hurting Clary.

Clary looks up, blinking tears of pain from her eyes, and looks right at Luke. Relief floods her face and she smiles at him for a moment before she looks away again to pull the knife out of her leg with a pained grunt.

Next thing he knows, he’s at her side, holding her under the arms to support her weight on her uninjured leg. Jace calls his name and tosses him something. Luke catches it - a stele. He hands it to Clary to activate her healing rune with. He watches the pain disappear from her face, slowly but surely. She blinks blearily up at him like she can’t quite believe he’s here.

And even though he never once doubted that she was alive and waiting for him to find her, Luke knows exactly how she feels.

“Luke-” Clary starts, but is instantly cut off by him pulling her into the biggest hug he’s ever given another person, her words getting muffled into his shoulder.

It takes her a moment to shake off the shock and hug him back. But when she does, it’s like she never wants to let go. It’s an awkward angle for a hug, half-kneeling with Clary’s leg still soaked in blood and Luke shaking all over, but he wouldn’t exchange it for anything in the world, and he doubts she would, either.

He begins to speak, voice trembling from the onslaught of emotions. “I thought I’d lost you.” And he had - for only a few brief, horrible hours that felt like a lifetime before he decided, no, she’s not dead, she can’t be dead, I’m going to get her back , he had thought he would never see her again. “I was so scared something had happened to you…”

“I’m sorry,” she gasps into the hug, tightening her hold on him. She sounds close to tears.

God, Luke thinks, she must have been so scared.

“Don’t apologize,” he says, and realizes he’s actually crying. “You did nothing wrong. But please- don’t leave me again.”

He feels her nod against him and wraps his arms even tighter around her. He doesn’t want to let go. If he does, she’ll slip out of his grasp again. She’ll go away again. She’ll get hurt again.

“Luke?” Clary laughs lightly into his shirt. “I kinda can’t breathe.”

I couldn’t breathe when you weren’t there, he thinks. But he says, “Sorry, kiddo,” and slowly loosens his grip and lets her pull away.

His place in her embrace is replaced by Jace, who’s laughing almost giddily, tears streaming down his face, before she’s even registered that he’s there.

“Jace?” she mutters, then throws her arms around his neck and says his name again, more softly. He pulls back to cup her face with both hands.

“I can’t believe you’re actually here,” Jace says. “I can’t believe I’m actually holding you.”

She smiles at him. “I’m here,” she assures him. “And you are.”

“Clary,” his voice cracks. “Clary, I am so sorry. About everything. I-”

That’s when she steps back, breaks the hug. “Not now,” she says. Her voice is kind, but strained. “We can talk later, okay?”

*

The Paris Institute gives Clary a change of clothes and provides a portal for them back to New York. They don’t ask Clary a lot of questions about the dead Shadowhunter, and she appreciates it. Right now, she just wants to get home and sleep and forget all of this for just a little while.

She’s confronted with the rune in the mirror as she’s changing and is reminded that that’s not going to be possible.

She meets Alec in the room the portal’s supposed to open up in.

“Hey,” she says.

“Hey,” he says. He looks tired, but smiles at her anyway. “I should’ve known you couldn’t be that easy to kill.”

Clary laughs. “Guess you’re gonna have to get used to me,” she shoots back lightly.

“I guess there are worse things in the world.”

A moment passes, and Alec’s smile disappears. Clary immediately fears the worst - no one has told her what happened after Lilith’s banishment yet. If Alec looks happy to see her, that means Izzy and Magnus are okay. But Simon-

The last time she saw him he was being flung out of a penthouse. Only because he agreed to go through with her plan. If anything’s happened to him…

“What’s wrong?” she asks Alec before she can picture any of the horrible things that could have happened to Simon.

“I texted the others to meet us at the Institute. Simon and Izzy don’t know you’re…you know, alive, yet.”

Clary didn’t realize she’d stopped breathing at the thought of Simon being hurt, but she’s thankful to have oxygen back in her lungs again.

“But, listen,” Alec goes on. “It’s Magnus.”

And she’s not breathing again.

“He’s lost his magic. So just don’t bring it up.”

“Oh my god, how-?”

They’re interrupted by Luke and Jace’s arrival, followed by the Parisian warlock whose portal they’re using. Luke takes her hand and, as soon as the portal opens, they step through it together.

*

“Magnus!”

At the sound of Alec’s cheery voice, Magnus halts his nervous pacing in the Institute’s hall and turns towards him.

“Look who’s here,” Alec says. But he doesn’t need to say anything. Magnus couldn’t miss her if he tried. Not with the way she bounds in, alive and well, red hair flying behind her with her quick, happy steps.

He thinks of her at six years old, with wide eyes and trembling lips. At eleven, with a long ponytail and paint under her fingernails. At thirteen, sketching on his couch while he and Jocelyn argued in hushed voices in the kitchen. Sixteen, asking a thousand questions and making him feel worse and worse about taking her memories with each one.

Eighteen, a rune on her neck and a sword in her hand, promising him that they can do this, that everything will be okay.

He was right to believe her.

“Hi!” she greets with a bright smile. Magnus doesn’t respond - just engulfs her in a hug so tight and sudden that the breath gets knocked out of her.  Clary laughs at the suddenness of it. “Yeah,” she says softly, rising on her tiptoes to hug him back as best as she can. “I missed you, too.”

Magnus swallows around the lump in his throat before pulling back to look at her - really just look at her for a moment. She looks a little pale and disheveled, but that’s probably nothing out of the ordinary. He’s probably just noticing it more because he’s worried about what’s happened to her in the week ( has it really only been a week? ) she’s been gone. Allegedly dead .

But she’s not dead. She’s alive and he’s holding her and she’s clutching his arms like she knows how badly he needs to feel the pressure against his cold skin. It makes him forget about how crazy everything is and how little time he has left for a moment.

“I more than just ‘missed you’, biscuit,” Magnus says. “What happened? You’re not hurt, are you?”

Clary shakes her head. “No, I’m fine. It’s a long story. I’m magically linked to my evil brother and I stabbed myself in the leg, but all’s well that ends well, right?”

“I’m…going to need more detail on some of that.”

“Honestly, me too.”

They share a short laugh just before they’re interrupted by-

“Clary?”

It’s Simon, frozen at the other end of the room, trying to decide if he should believe his eyes or not. Jace nods and Simon starts to run . Magnus swiftly but reluctantly lets go of Clary to step out of his way.

Simon skids to a halt in front of her, looking her up and down before pulling her into his arms. When he pulls back, his eyes are filled with tears. “Am I dreaming?” he asks.

“No,” Clary promises.

“I’m not?”

“No.”

Magnus watches with a smile on his face and Alec’s hand on his shoulder as Clary laughs when Simon picks her up in his arms and spins her around. Isabelle walks up to them, a disbelieving smile on her face, and almost shoves Simon in her eagerness to hold Clary herself.

Magnus’ eyes drift to Luke to find him looking truly alive for the first time since Clary was arrested in Idris. Magnus doesn’t know exactly how Luke must be feeling - all the pain and denial and hope and relief he must have experienced in such a short time - but he knows what it’s like to lose the people you love. It feels like having a piece of your heart ripped out of you, again and again every time you remember they’re gone.

He turns back to Clary.

He’s never gotten a piece back before.

[travllingbunny]

The 100 rewatch: season 3

Finally, it’s over! I got behind with the write-ups, due to actual work, which slowed down my rewatch. I probably should have opted for writing just a short post with 5 lines for each episodes instead of these in-depth reviews, but oh well, Too late now.

But at least I’ll now have two more weeks to rewatch seasons 4 and 5, before 6x03 premieres (since, you know, I’ve already seen 6x01 and 6x02).

Season 3 episode ratings and rankings

3x13 Join or Die – 10/10

3x11 Nevermore – 9/10

3x05 Hakeldama – 8.5/10

3x02 Wanheda, Part Two – 8.5/10

3x15 Perverse Instantiation, Part One – 8/10

3x12 Demons – 8/10

3x14 Red Sky at Morning –8/10

3x08 Terms and Conditions -7/10

3x01 Wanheda, Part One – 7/10

3x03 Ye Who Enter Here – 6.5/10

3x16 Perverse Instantiation, Part Two –  6/10

3x06 Bitter Harvest – 5/10

3x09 Stealing Fire – 5/10

3x10 Fallen – 4.5/10

3x04 Watch the Thrones – 3.5/10

3x07 Thirteen – 3/10

Season 3 average rating:  6.71/10

By comparison, season 1 average rating was 7.54/10, and season 2 rating  – 8.38/10. No surprise there - season 3 was always my least favorite season, and this rewatch didn’t change that.

Season 3 episode reviews:

Episodes 3x01-3x02

Episodes 3x03-3x05

Episodes 3x06-3x10

Episodes 3x11-3x16

Season 2 master post with rankings, ratings, timeline and body count

Season 1 rankings and ratings here (I didn't make a master post for season 1, so individual episode posts can be only found through the rewatch tag or The 100 season 1 tag)

Timeline and body count for season 3/the first 3 seasons under the cut.

Timeline: By my count,  the first two seasons lasted only about 40 days, maybe a little more. Season 1 was maybe a little more than 3 weeks but certainly less than a month. Season 2 was a bit over 2 weeks. There was a mini-time jump between seasons 2 and 3, which lasted about 3 months (86 days, to be precise).

Season 3 lasted between 22 and 25 days (depending on how much time passed between episodes 3x05 and 3x05; most other episodes lasted about a day, except for one week between 3x02 and 3x03). All in all, it's a little more than 5 months - my count falls a little short of 5 and a half months, which is how much time is supposed to have passed between 1x01 and 3x13 (the latter episode had the first explicit indication of the passage of time since the Pilot, since flashbacks that happened a couple of weeks before the Pilot were said to be set 6 months earlier. But "six months" was just a rounded number.) 

Body count: Less people died in season 3 than in seasons 1 and 2 (because around 3,000 people died during seasons 1-2, even though they lasted less than a month and half), but the number was still pretty high.

Mass killings included:

49 Sky people, mostly civilians (out of which 36 people from the Farm Station) were killed by Azgeda when they blew up Mount Weather (at the orders of Queen Nia, with the help by Carl Emerson, facilitated by Echo and directly implemented by a nameless assassin)

about 300 Trikru warriors were killed by Charles Pike and his group of 9 more people, including  Bellamy and Hannah Green; 

and an unknown number of people, probably quite large, that were killed by ALIE's chipped soldiers for refusing to take the chip (we know that 3% of the population were refusing) or were killed by non-chipped people in self-defense.

We also found out about other mass killings that happened during the timeline of season 2: about 120 Sky people from the Farm Station, including 15 children, were killed by Azgeda right after the Ark landed, or during the later fighting, during which Pike's group probably killed quite a few Azgeda, too.

The only character billed as the main cast who died this season was Lincoln (condemned to death and executed/shot by Charles Pike). This was the second most infamous death of the show - the most infamous one also happened this season - the death of Commander Lexa, accidentally shot by her Flamekeeper Titus, while he was trying to murder Clarke.

Several other Grounder leaders also died: Queen Nia (killed by Lexa), Titus (suicide), “false Commander” Ontari (killed by chipped Jaha at ALIE’s order). Seven Nightblood children, including Aden, were murdered by Ontari. Outcasts Otan (Emori’s brother) and Gideon also were killed. Other casualties (aside from the 300 Trikru warriors) included at least 10 nameless Grounders, most of them Azgeda, in various skirmishes, the assassin at Mount Weather (killed by Raven), villager Semet (by Titus, after an assassination attempt on lexa), and an Azgeda ambassador thrown off the tower by Lexa. A lot of other Grounders died because of ALIE, including 5 Boat people (among them Luna’s husband Derrick, and Shay).

The last Mountain Men, Carl Emerson, who was responsible for at least 50 deaths just this season, was killed by Clarke.

In addition to the 49 Arkers who died at Mount Weather (including Gina Martin, killed directly by the assassin), other Sky people who were killed included Monroe (one of the original 100, killed by poisoned smoke), Jacopo Sinclair (murdered by Carl Emerson), Shawn Gilmer (killed by Octavia), Hannah Green (killed by her son Monty when she was chipped and trying to kill Octavia), and Charles Pike (by Octavia, for revenge). At this point, almost all of the people from the Farm Station are dead (Bryan is one of the few survivors). Plus, at least 10 other Arker guards died in various skirmishes.

This makes about 400 people. However, we don’t know for sure what the body count in Polis was because of ALIE: we saw many people crucified and blood flowing through the streets, so ALIE was directly responsible for many deaths; and we saw at least 18 chipped people get killed by non-chipped people during the fighting in Polis. 

As of the end of season 2, there were 46 surviving Delinquents out of the original 100 (Bellamy and Raven do not count). During season 3, Monroe was killed, and apparently (according to The 100 wiki) yet another Delinquent, which would make 44 surviving Delinquents. 

And i don’t know if AI counts,but ALIE also “died”, terminated by Clarke.

In addition, in the flashbacks, we indirectly witnessed the deaths of about 6 and a half billion people on Earth 97 years earlier, and everyone on the Polaris station, when it was destroyed by the other stations that later formed the Ark.

[fraysbanes]

never let go

Characters: Luke Garroway, Magnus Bane, Clary Fray, Alec Lightwood, Jace Lightwood, Simon Lewis, Isabelle Lightwood

Relationship: Clary Fray & Luke Garroway, Clary Fray & Magnus Bane

Rating: G

Summary: alternate 3x12 and 3x13 reunion scenes

Warnings: implied/referenced character death, implied/referenced stabbing

At first it’s just a glimpse of portal-wind-blown red hair and trembling arms and she’s so close - so within reach - that Luke begins to wonder if it was too good to be true after all.

Then she turns to them and their drawn weapons and screams, “ don’t shoot! ” and the world collapses around Luke. Collapses so it can build itself up again, the right way this time. Collapses so she can fix it.

His body is tense, like it is before he transforms, and he feels such intense relief that he thinks he might collapse - or actually turn - because she’s here , and she’s alive , and she hasn’t left him yet.

Clary screams as the blade rips into her her flesh, making Luke jolt out of his trance and focus on the mission again. Jonathan (and dear god, that’s Jonathan? That’s Jocelyn’s little boy?) yells something and activates his speed rune as he runs away. Alec and Jace chase after him, but they all know it’s useless: he’s faster than they are, they don’t know where he’s going, and they can’t hurt him without hurting Clary.

Clary looks up, blinking tears of pain from her eyes, and looks right at Luke. Relief floods her face and she smiles at him for a moment before she looks away again to pull the knife out of her leg with a pained grunt.

Next thing he knows, he’s at her side, holding her under the arms to support her weight on her uninjured leg. Jace calls his name and tosses him something. Luke catches it - a stele. He hands it to Clary to activate her healing rune with. He watches the pain disappear from her face, slowly but surely. She blinks blearily up at him like she can’t quite believe he’s here.

And even though he never once doubted that she was alive and waiting for him to find her, Luke knows exactly how she feels.

“Luke-” Clary starts, but is instantly cut off by him pulling her into the biggest hug he’s ever given another person, her words getting muffled into his shoulder.

It takes her a moment to shake off the shock and hug him back. But when she does, it’s like she never wants to let go. It’s an awkward angle for a hug, half-kneeling with Clary’s leg still soaked in blood and Luke shaking all over, but he wouldn’t exchange it for anything in the world, and he doubts she would, either.

He begins to speak, voice trembling from the onslaught of emotions. “I thought I’d lost you.” And he had - for only a few brief, horrible hours that felt like a lifetime before he decided, no, she’s not dead, she can’t be dead, I’m going to get her back , he had thought he would never see her again. “I was so scared something had happened to you…”

“I’m sorry,” she gasps into the hug, tightening her hold on him. She sounds close to tears.

God, Luke thinks, she must have been so scared.

“Don’t apologize,” he says, and realizes he’s actually crying. “You did nothing wrong. But please- don’t leave me again.”

He feels her nod against him and wraps his arms even tighter around her. He doesn’t want to let go. If he does, she’ll slip out of his grasp again. She’ll go away again. She’ll get hurt again.

“Luke?” Clary laughs lightly into his shirt. “I kinda can’t breathe.”

I couldn’t breathe when you weren’t there, he thinks. But he says, “Sorry, kiddo,” and slowly loosens his grip and lets her pull away.

His place in her embrace is replaced by Jace, who’s laughing almost giddily, tears streaming down his face, before she’s even registered that he’s there.

“Jace?” she mutters, then throws her arms around his neck and says his name again, more softly. He pulls back to cup her face with both hands.

“I can’t believe you’re actually here,” Jace says. “I can’t believe I’m actually holding you.”

She smiles at him. “I’m here,” she assures him. “And you are.”

“Clary,” his voice cracks. “Clary, I am so sorry. About everything. I-”

That’s when she steps back, breaks the hug. “Not now,” she says. Her voice is kind, but strained. “We can talk later, okay?”

*

The Paris Institute gives Clary a change of clothes and provides a portal for them back to New York. They don’t ask Clary a lot of questions about the dead Shadowhunter, and she appreciates it. Right now, she just wants to get home and sleep and forget all of this for just a little while.

She’s confronted with the rune in the mirror as she’s changing and is reminded that that’s not going to be possible.

She meets Alec in the room the portal’s supposed to open up in.

“Hey,” she says.

“Hey,” he says. He looks tired, but smiles at her anyway. “I should’ve known you couldn’t be that easy to kill.”

Clary laughs. “Guess you’re gonna have to get used to me,” she shoots back lightly.

“I guess there are worse things in the world.”

A moment passes, and Alec’s smile disappears. Clary immediately fears the worst - no one has told her what happened after Lilith’s banishment yet. If Alec looks happy to see her, that means Izzy and Magnus are okay. But Simon-

The last time she saw him he was being flung out of a penthouse. Only because he agreed to go through with her plan. If anything’s happened to him…

“What’s wrong?” she asks Alec before she can picture any of the horrible things that could have happened to Simon.

“I texted the others to meet us at the Institute. Simon and Izzy don’t know you’re…you know, alive, yet.”

Clary didn’t realize she’d stopped breathing at the thought of Simon being hurt, but she’s thankful to have oxygen back in her lungs again.

“But, listen,” Alec goes on. “It’s Magnus.”

And she’s not breathing again.

“He’s lost his magic. So just don’t bring it up.”

“Oh my god, how-?”

They’re interrupted by Luke and Jace’s arrival, followed by the Parisian warlock whose portal they’re using. Luke takes her hand and, as soon as the portal opens, they step through it together.

*

“Magnus!”

At the sound of Alec’s cheery voice, Magnus halts his nervous pacing in the Institute’s hall and turns towards him.

“Look who’s here,” Alec says. But he doesn’t need to say anything. Magnus couldn’t miss her if he tried. Not with the way she bounds in, alive and well, red hair flying behind her with her quick, happy steps.

He thinks of her at six years old, with wide eyes and trembling lips. At eleven, with a long ponytail and paint under her fingernails. At thirteen, sketching on his couch while he and Jocelyn argued in hushed voices in the kitchen. Sixteen, asking a thousand questions and making him feel worse and worse about taking her memories with each one.

Eighteen, a rune on her neck and a sword in her hand, promising him that they can do this, that everything will be okay.

He was right to believe her.

“Hi!” she greets with a bright smile. Magnus doesn’t respond - just engulfs her in a hug so tight and sudden that the breath gets knocked out of her.  Clary laughs at the suddenness of it. “Yeah,” she says softly, rising on her tiptoes to hug him back as best as she can. “I missed you, too.”

Magnus swallows around the lump in his throat before pulling back to look at her - really just look at her for a moment. She looks a little pale and disheveled, but that’s probably nothing out of the ordinary. He’s probably just noticing it more because he’s worried about what’s happened to her in the week ( has it really only been a week? ) she’s been gone. Allegedly dead .

But she’s not dead. She’s alive and he’s holding her and she’s clutching his arms like she knows how badly he needs to feel the pressure against his cold skin. It makes him forget about how crazy everything is and how little time he has left for a moment.

“I more than just ‘missed you’, biscuit,” Magnus says. “What happened? You’re not hurt, are you?”

Clary shakes her head. “No, I’m fine. It’s a long story. I’m magically linked to my evil brother and I stabbed myself in the leg, but all’s well that ends well, right?”

“I’m…going to need more detail on some of that.”

“Honestly, me too.”

They share a short laugh just before they’re interrupted by-

“Clary?”

It’s Simon, frozen at the other end of the room, trying to decide if he should believe his eyes or not. Jace nods and Simon starts to run . Magnus swiftly but reluctantly lets go of Clary to step out of his way.

Simon skids to a halt in front of her, looking her up and down before pulling her into his arms. When he pulls back, his eyes are filled with tears. “Am I dreaming?” he asks.

“No,” Clary promises.

“I’m not?”

“No.”

Magnus watches with a smile on his face and Alec’s hand on his shoulder as Clary laughs when Simon picks her up in his arms and spins her around. Isabelle walks up to them, a disbelieving smile on her face, and almost shoves Simon in her eagerness to hold Clary herself.

Magnus’ eyes drift to Luke to find him looking truly alive for the first time since Clary was arrested in Idris. Magnus doesn’t know exactly how Luke must be feeling - all the pain and denial and hope and relief he must have experienced in such a short time - but he knows what it’s like to lose the people you love. It feels like having a piece of your heart ripped out of you, again and again every time you remember they’re gone.

He turns back to Clary.

He’s never gotten a piece back before.

[yawnjockey]

Two stories, an ending within an ending. Presented by the NAT club.

‘A’ is for Audience. ‘A.D.’ is for Assistant Director.

There are two stories on Pretty Little Liars. One is the story we know, which originated with ‘That Night’, which will be resolved either in 7x19 or early 7x20.

 The second story will be revealed in the “twist” ending of 7x20. 

 The first story will wrap up why the girls have been targeted, and explain what happened that night. It will cover all of the Hastings and DiLaurentis drama, and whatever this has all been mounting up to. The second story will explain that much of what the girls have been through was actually engineered and staged. 

 Someone has been setting these girls up from the beginning. And not for the reasons that we think. Not just for revenge, but also for entertainment. 

I have put off writing this theory for actual years, because I still don’t know how to put it in writing with any eloquence. Because it is really so all encompassing, but if you’ve been reading my blog for any real time, you’ll see I’ve been hinting around it since at least season 4. As we inch ever closer to the end, I start to feel like there’s more reason to believe it’s possible, so I guess now is the time to commit it to writing. It’s like a much more tolerable version of the “It’s all a book”/  “It was all a dream” ending, because it doesn’t dismiss the actual story, but rather incorporates it. 

Here are the highlights of the theory.

1. The NAT club (”Nos Animadverto Totus” meaning “We See All”) is still very much active, and profiting off of the ‘A’ drama. 

2. What began as a group of teenagers filming unsuspecting girls, has now grown into a full fledged entertainment empire. 

3. In 3x06, Jason confides in Spencer that he believed that Garrett and Ian may have been paying girls to set up their friends to be filmed. And he believes that someone was paying them to film specific stuff for them. 

4. This was the beginning of the NAT empire. This went from a few pervs filming girls undressing for their own entertainment, to a semi scripted, semi interactive live stream. There are people who pay a pretty price to subscribe to the service. They have input as to what they’d like to see next, and some are even regularly interacting with the girls on behalf of the rest of the ‘Audience’. 

5. The girls story arc for the NAT Production began on “That Night”. It’s the night that Ali faked her death, to get the story rolling. Ali is was fully involved from the beginning in setting the girls up for the NAT, as Jason suggested in 3x06. 

This entire ‘A’ thing was born out Ali’s quest for fame, and an appetite for money. “The First Secret” was Ali testing the girls to see if they’d perform the way she anticipated. 

A scene from ‘A is for Answers’, Ali tells about the first time that Ezra brought her to the Fitzgerald Theater. 

*Ali walks up on to the stage, and gazes out at the empty house*

Ali: “Wow. I get it.”

Ezra: “Get what?”

Ali: “It’s hard to explain.” 

Ezra: “Try me.”

Ali: “God. Imagine being up here, with all those people who love you.”

Ezra: “i think that’s called adoration, not love.”

Ali: “I could be an actress.”

Ezra: “Could be? Well I hate to break it to you, but you already are. The way you tell your stories with with such conviction. I think you’ve convinced yourself that half of them are true.”

Ali: “Well if you can’t convince yourself, why should anyone else believe you?”

6. Naturally the existence of this service is not just common knowledge, since being a subscriber would actually make them accessories to a crime. My guess is that some people have even been blackmailed into participating in the Activities, or risk having their membership in the NAT revealed publicly. 

7. Many of the dramatic scenarios that have happened to these girls were staged, almost like a theatrical production. I refer to the ‘major’ episodes. The events of the Halloween Train (3x13). Everything that happened in New York, including Ezra’s rooftop shooting, in ‘A is for Answers’ (4x24). The events in Ravenswood in “A Grave New World” (4x13). Of course, Charlotte’s reveal (6x10), The School for the Blind (7x10),  and the place where I first found it to be most obvious… the events of The Dollhouse. 

8. This means that the girls were seldom in any actual danger. Any danger that may have surfaced would have been from someone outside of the production jeopardizing them, or the production going wrong. I am not suggesting that EVERYTHING is fake, but that there is a controlled narrative for these girls. 

9. “The Game” that Mona, Charlotte and ‘A’ always reference, is a direct part of that. The game that the girls are playing now is a result of it. There are spectators to this game, like some kind of voyeuristic sport. 

10. This also accounts for why no one ever seems to stay dead in Rosewood. Most, if not all deaths were faked, using the drug that CeCe told Ali about in 6x10. The one she supposedly used to drug Ken And Jason. It honestly, would not surprise me if everyone that died over the last 7 seasons showed up in the finale to take one last bow. 

11. I Believe the Carissimi Group is not actually built on Charlotte’s Wall Street brilliance, but rather as a front for the NAT. 

12. This plot would be something like a combination of a “Black Mirror” episode and a couple of movies. Most notably “The Game” directed by David Fincher, (If you’re up for spoilers you can read a summary of the twist here.) for the twist ending, and it being ‘a game’. “The Truman Show” for the controlled narrative and surveillance aspect. And though I haven’t seen it… the interactive aspects might resemble the dares from “Nerve”. Just to give you an idea what I’m thinking. 

13. I think it’s pretty obvious who I think is in charge here. If you’ve read anything on my blog, I am a huge “Ezra is A’ believer. And in this case, I’m inclined to believe that he is A.D. He is the one working the situation from a ground level. I have rehashed reasons that Ezra is ‘A’ so many time son my blog… I won’t even go into it there.  But he is absolutely trying to actively sway these girls to his agenda every time he interacts with them. 

But who’s really in charge? Jason. 

NAT was his idea. Nearly everyone else involved with NAT is ‘dead’. He inherited the controlling interest in the Carissimi group. And he ‘always liked Aria’s pink stripes’. The same pink stripes she is made to put back in in the dollhouse. The same pink stripes her character has on the gameboard piece. 

Bonus: We all know that Marlene has cast herself into the finale. And we’ve joked  a time or two that she is probably A.D. because of the way she’s being torturing us. It would be so in Marlene’s line to show up in the finale, and introduce herself as the Executive Producer of the NAT production. Literal character self insertion. 

Also, heavily involved: Mona ( Like at a top level.) Ali, Lucas, Toby, Jenna, Noel, Wilden, etc. 

Maya was a part of it too, but may have thought about revealing herself to Emily, and that’s why her character had to die. 

Clues:

1.Props.

 We see props reused all the time, which makes sense. This is a TV show. But it also makes sense if this is a staged production. Follow what I’m saying? 

Remember that giant clown head that (clearly) had a camera in it, when Aria was shooting photos in the junk yard? The head turned to follow her, and to me it was extremely obvious that there was a camera in there watching her. Well, that SAME creepy clown head showed up in the School for the blind in 7x10. 

Then there’s this old tweet from Oliver Goldstick, where he’s clearly calling attention to the fact that they’re reusing props. 

And my favorite thing, which i regret that I cannot find…is a tweet that was put out by someone in the props department after the Dollhouse finale aired. And the person tweeted that something along the lines of “we put it right in front of you in the first few minutes. We couldn’t have made it more obvious.” And the first few minutes of that episode were the girls are recognizing that their room was entirely fake. Fake chairs, fake doors, fake books. 

There have been many instances where props were either clearly recycled, or completely overused. Where it literally felt like the props department just dumped everything that they could find to make a set look “creepy”. And some sets have been so overdone that draw attention to themselves just for that. 

2. Remember in 3x21… where Toby’s death is faked… Emily goes to his house looking for him, and sees a guy pull up to the house in his truck. The guy explains that he “Works with Toby” and hasn’t seen him in a few weeks. She later receives a message from Toby telling her to “Stop looking” and that he’d meet her. She’s then given directions Olivia Dr.  A person in a Red Coat leads her to this workshop. Emily confronts the guy that she saw at his house, and asks if he’s seen Toby. He tell’s her that he hasn’t. 

But Emily never told this guy her name, and she can’t imagine why he would know who she is. But he would know her name if he was involved in the production, wouldn’t he? 

Also, remember the great theory about how the people in this workshop were actually building the girls rooms for the dollhouse?

3. Cameras. No matter the reason why, we can all agree that there is absolutely no way that ‘A’, ‘Uber A’, ‘AD’ or ‘Amoji’, could ever have pulled off half of the timely messages they do if they weren’t pretty much constantly watching these girls. 

Through out the series we have been shown a variety of cameras that have been used to watch the girls. Whether they are the multitude of cameras Ezra used, the cameras in the dollhouse, security cameras both in Radley Sanitarium and The Radley Hotel, The cameras that I am 100% convinced were hidden Aria’s dolls, that clown head camera, Lucas’ “Security system”… not to mention the times we’ve seen someone sitting at a ‘lair’ keeping up with pictures or footage of the girls.  

4. Eddie Lamb

Where’d he go? The last time we saw Eddie Lamb, he was trying to make contact with Ezra Fitz, presumably regarding his latest interaction with Aria. in 5x06 he is speaking to Spencer about Bethany Young.

Spencer: ‘Did you know Bethany well?”

Eddie: “If I did, I can’t talk about it.”

Spencer: *sees the security camera where Eddie casually just gestured* 

“Right. Okay. Do you maybe want to get coffee later?”

Eddie: “I can’t talk about Bethany or any other patient. Not to the cops, or reporters, or you.”

In the episode where Spencer is first admitted to Radley he acknowledges that he “likes his job” and that the only way to keep it is to keep your mouth shut. 

So what if the reason that Eddie suddenly disappeared is because he wasn’t sticking to the script? He recognized Aria as one of the girls from the NAT videos, and became a potential problem for the show? So he was paid off or blackmailed and told to leave the area. 

5. The Kahn Party stamp

 I’ve spoken about it before, and just recently. But I firmly believe that the “traveling parties” that were apparently hosted by Eric Kahn were most definitely related to the NAT club. The stamp was a picture of an eye, and the parties were secret. It could be a party just for those involved with the production. Which would include…

6. Holden Strauss

Look, guys, its no secret that I think Holden is more than a red herring. As I recently explained here, I think he was with Emily the night that she dug up Ali’s grave. And he’s back in Rosewood, and conveniently a chef at a wedding planners. Holden had a lot of nothing to impart to us recently except to say that he recently saw Aria on TV. We can argue about why she might’ve been on TV, and there’s certainly been occasion with everything that’s happened… but I just find it so odd that he mentions seeing her on TV, when we haven’t.  If Holden is actually a member of NAT, as I feel both his presence at Sputnik’s Diner, and his entry into the Kahn parties indicates… then he would have seen the ‘show’ pick back up after the time jump as well. 

7. Jenna

I think the binder that Jenna got in 7x11, wasn’t just an explanation of the A game, but a script of sorts. A sort of manual for what was supposed to happen next, and what role she was supposed to have in it. 

8. Money

Where Does ‘A’ get the money to pull off some of the elaborate messages they have sent? Where do they get the skill? Either they have a wealthy backer, or they are the wealthy backer. 

Can we agree that Charlotte’s story was bullshit? If so, her being a Wall Street Wiz, is also highly unlikely.  So where did her fortune (Which was later inherited by Ali and Jason) come from? 

Mothertrucking Ezra Fitz. let’s talk about his weird finance situation. How you affording limos and Armani on a teacher’s salary? Where’d that money in your sock drawer really come from? How could you afford to buy The Brew when you were an unemployed teacher? 

9. Marlene/cast interviews

At Paleyfest when asked about the NAT Club, Marlene and Co. Were so quick dismiss it. They basically said “Ohh what was that? I forgot all about that.” Like it never existed, and like it was probably not a big deal.

They’re really trying to keep our ending a surprise this time. You can really tell from mar’s twitter feed, and the interviews. The girls are being fairly tight lipped, Marlene is saying things like “I don’t want to spoil it”, when asked kind of broad questions on twitter, and even Keegan hasn’t been putting out any hints. I think that they tried to delicately squash any NAT theories by acting like it was an old, dead storyline. But way back in season 5, Marlene swore that there was a lot more to those NAT videos, and that we’d see them again. 

10. Theater imagery/ terminology and the use of puppets/dolls

-Ezra directing a highschool play about the nature of evil.

-“Shadow Play”. The episode is not only an homage to film noir, but a reference to a form of puppet play. It contains scenes of Ali as some kind of a stage performer. 

-”Twelfth Night” is at one point taught by both Ezra and Ali. 

-Ezra’s family theater was “his special place”.

- The stage in 5x25 was a cabin, not unlike the one where Ezra took Aria, and where his lair was. 

-Ali and Spencer dance to “I’m Your Puppet” in Radley, and we’ve repeatedly heard reference to the way the girls did whatever Ali told them. 

-Aside from the dollhouse there’s an almost infinite amount of times the girls have been referred to as dolls. Being toys for them to play with and orchestrate pretend lives with. 

-The above mentioned scene where Ali talks about being an actress, combined with “That’s immortality my Darlings” and that she keeps her diaries because her friends will need them when she’s gone.

11. “You know why I chose you, don’t you?” Ali to Aria

12. Deaths

Either when someone dies, we don’t see their body at all or we don’t see it til their funeral. OR if we do see them die, it’s in a questionable or confusing way. I’ll be the first to point out that, while I loved Noel’s death, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if hes still alive. Just for the complete unlikelihood of someone having their head chopped clean off by a stationery ax. Even though we actually saw it, that death felt like the most fake one yet.  

Season after season these monumental moments get more and more over the top.  Like they want us to think “This is ridiculous! Even by these standards, this is impossible!” 

OK, so I do have more examples, but I’m running out of time to write this, so I’ll end it here for now. But… if you’re open to the idea that this may have been a “game” all along, then to imagine its been watched by others isn’t that far of a stretch.