#in a 'why the fuck is this revealed already' way

[loverafey]

first !   bsf!rafe x virgin f!reader

          ꕀ warnings - smut, lots of kissing, fingering, rafe's a softie and just so gentle with his best friend :( wc -  2.5k.

sitting beside rafe cozily while he was sprawled on his bed, scrolling away on his phone, your eyes read over the words printed on the book you were holding, a peaceful silence lingering in the air.

he had invited you over to spend the night, just a simple innocuous sleepover even, not admitting that he’d gotten a little bit too lonely in this house that was too big for a single person. sarah usually spent time with john b now, wheezie was away for a few weeks to spend time with their grandma while he was here handling all the work — maybe he should also buy a nice apartment for himself. maybe that’d be less lonely.

you were a bit too invested into the plot, some cheesy romance novel that you were somehow enjoying. cliches were not that bad sometimes, after all. you found yourself unconsciously smiling at all these events happening to the protagonist, a foreign ache blooming in your chest. envy? or perhaps just mere curiousity, you’ve never had a decent experience with dating, after all.

not even a first kiss, and it embarrassed you greatly.

almost everyone you knew was either already dating or experienced in this field, and no matter how much you tried to hide your lack of knowledge, it was clearly obvious. you weren’t innocent by all means, the book in your hands was evidence enough, the scenes already accelerating to something more heated. though reading such things sometimes felt like a self sabotaging method because it always left you craving something similar.

your eyes drifted over to rafe, watching the neutral expression adorning his face, one arm folded under his head while his other hand held his phone, scrolling through whatever. you couldn’t help but take advantage of the fact that he was not looking at you, admiring the way those plump lips of his were parted, his hair freshly shaved into a buzz cut. despite your initial shock when your best friend had revealed this new style of his to you cheekily, you loved this haircut on him a lot. everything looked good on him, though you’d rather not admit that to anyone, especially not him.

his eyes were half lidded, your heart skipping a beat as you watched him unconsciously lick his bottom lip, blood rushing to your cheeks, the book in your hand long forgotten. why was your body even reacting like this, so eager to memorise every inch of his face?

“staring a little bit too much, aren’t ya?” his calm voice broke you out of your trance, earning a soft gasp from you as you quickly looked away, the action of no avail. he’d already caught you.

“nope, just zoning out.” it was clear that you were lying. he noted how you were a little bit too squirmy, avoiding his eyes — flustered. he couldn’t help but feel a smirk rising on his lips, sitting up on his bed as he put his phone aside, all of his attention now pointed at you.

“you’re lying.” he scoffed, leaning forward.

silence once again fell within his bedroom, short yet tense. you could hear your heartbeat getting louder in your ears, taking a deep breath to calm yourself down.

“rafe, have you ever… kissed anyone?”

what a foolish question to ask, of course he had kissed many times, even you knew that, fumbling your words out in the spur of the moment. though the ways his eyes widened made you go still, realisation replacing the confusion on his face almost as quickly. he snorted, his head falling back as he nodded. “‘course i’ve kissed people. haven’t you seen me?” he asked, cockiness lacing his words.

you rolled your eyes, pursing your lips shut while trying to ignore the fact that you were a little bit too aware of the heat on your face, shrugging your shoulders. “i-it’s… it’s just…” fuck, you couldn’t believe you were actually doing this. “i haven’t… y’know.” you kept trailing off, looking anywhere and everywhere but at him.

he hummed knowingly, staring at you intently. he obviously knew that — definitely not because he always kept close tabs on you behind your back — always surprised that no one had kissed you or swept you off your feet yet. lucky him, he supposed, it was exactly what he’d wanted for a while now. “i know.”

“you do?” you gasped out, though he didn’t let you feel ashamed, his hands soon grasping yours, gently intertwining your fingers.

“i think everyone does.” he snickered, causing you to whine in protest, not even able to swat his shoulders gently since he was holding your hands. “but why’re you bringing it up, huh?” he feigned innocence.

he was so frustrating, obviously knowing that you wanted to try kissing him, especially due to the way your eyes kept trailing down onto his lips, your own lips parting slightly, as if wondering what it’d feel like to kiss him.

the thought of being your first kiss made his heart flutter in the best way possible, every little dream of his about you aching to come true. but still, it was funny to mess with you and watch you stutter while trying to not make a mess of yourself. you were just so damn adorable.

“i was wondering… if maybe we could try it.” you mumbled quietly.

“try what?”

only if you could punch him. “kissing…!” you squeaked out, already regretting your words. what if he’d reject you, never look at you the same again?

“should’ve said that sooner.” he whispered, making you realise just how close he was to you as he leaned forward, his hands pulling you in front of him, soon moving up to cup your face, the tender action making your fears melt away.

“want me to be your first kiss, baby?” his voice was more hoarse now, eyes glimmering with need as he stared down from your eyes to your lips, and then back up at your eyes that were staring at him so dreamily, feeling you nod hastily.

he soon closed the distance between you both, pressing his lips against yours. he was slow and gentle, not wanting to freak you out as you clumsily kissed him back, your fists bunching his shirt up as you clung onto him, feeling his head tilt slightly, his lips parting and moving against yours, swallowing up your surprised little noises.

it felt so good, better than you’d expected from all these novels that you’d been reading. his fingers were neatly tucked behind your ears, not minding that you were leaning forward obliviously, just wanting to be closer to him.

“c’mere.” he grunted against your mouth, that noise alone making your heart go all giddy as he pulled you up to sit on his lap, letting your hands leave his shirt as your arms wrapped around his neck, continuing to kiss him. you couldn’ believe you were kissing your best friend.

he reluctantly pulled away after a while, knowing that you had to catch your breath, eyes drinking in the sight of your panting softly, your lips all wet from the kiss. from the kiss he gave you. he found himself grinning like a fool, pressing a few more kisses on the side of your mouth, hearing you giggle.

“not too bad for a first kiss, yeah?” he asked, earning a hum from you as you snugly sat on his lap, feeling his hands hold onto your waist, fingers slipping sneakily inside your waist, rubbing your sides in light circular motions, just a shy away from the waistband of your shorts. you didn’t mind, staring at him with wide eyes, your breathing quickening at the feeling of his skin against yours.

“what’cha thinking about?” he asked, beginning to press light pecks on your jaw once he felt that you were comfortable enough.

your throat tightened momentarily, chewing on your bottom lip as you looked down, shaking your head, feeling your ears unbearably heat up once again. “nothing.” you whispered too quietly. he tsked, one hand reaching up to gently grab the side of your face, tilting your head towards his.

“just…” you cleared your throat. “just wanna do more.”

“more?”

“y’know what i mean!” this time, you did swat on his shoulders, causing him to chuckle as he nodded.

“mhm, i know. my baby wants more.” he felt your legs spreading a bit more by his hips, your body squirming on his lap. “ever touched yourself?” he asked, rendering you surprised by his rather crude question.

“yes. doesn’t feel really good… i suck at it.” you huffed, not wanting to give the details of how you awkwardly stuck your fingers inside you or tried to rub yourself, either going too fast or too slow, always failing to reach the peak.

“oh no.” he cooed mockingly, his hand gently resting on your stomach through your shirt, his eyes finding yours, softening up. you looked so shy when your confidence was all drained out, it made him want to kiss you all the more greedily. but not yet, that’d be too fast. “want me to make you feel good?” he asked, genuine.

your eyes widened, wondering if he was joking or not, though the way he was staring at you and touching you with so much care made you want to swoon, nodding after a few seconds.

“use your words, baby.”

“yes…” a smile found its way to your lips, his hands swift to shift you around so now you were in between his legs once he parted them, your back resting against his chest. you giggled, your thighs squeezing shut while he pressed soft kisses on the top of your head and then your nape, his hands gently roaming over your torso through the fabric of your shirts, caressing away through your breasts, causing your breath to hitch.

“lift your hips up, cutie.” he ordered, to which you eagerly obeyed by leaning up so he could tug your shorts down, groaning audibly at the sight of your panties. “fuck, always wanted to see you like this.” he confessed, taking down your panties too, putting the clothes aside, not letting you see that he snuck your panties into the pocket of his sweats.

“really?” you whimpered out, feeling his hands gently guiding your legs open, your back trying to lean more into his chest. his fingers snaked down, palming your pussy, your hips already twitching at the foreign touch.

“fuck, you’re so wet.” he couldn’t help but groan, pleased as his fingers swiped through your slicken folds, gathering some wetness. he was hard, his cock eager to jump out of his pants but that was a matter for later, some other day. today was all about you.

carefully, he begins to circle his fingers around your clit, feeling it pulsate due to his feather-like, almost teasing movements. you moaned out blissfully, eyes flying shut as he continued to rub your clit, your skin tingling at this newfound feeling.

“feels good?” he asked, earning a hum from you, his head resting on your shoulder, almost nuzzling against your cheek. his other hand went from gently caressing your thighs to in between your legs. “want my fingers in you too?”

“yes…” you mewled in ecstacy, lips parted in awe as your legs stayed spread, aching a bit though the pleasure coursing within you made it easy for you to ignore that. one hand focused on your clit while the other spread your folds apart, a finger teasing your tight hole, your hips trying to buck forward.

“so eager. all of this is f’me, yeah?” he was breathless, pressing hot open-mouthed kisses against your ear as you nodded, whining out something incomprehensible that seemed like a ‘yeah’.

his finger soon pushed into your pussy, feeling your squelchy walls squeeze around his digit eagerly. fuck, you were so tight, it made him want to stuff you full of his cock to see how prettily you’d stretch around him. he begin to gently move his finger around you, the other hand not ceasing its movements, fingers continuing to rub your clit.

“rafe… rafey!” you tilted your head, eagerly gasping out the nickname only you’d use on him, your lips trying to find his. he indulged, kissing your lips once again, sneaking in a second finger inside your pussy, beginning to thrust them in and out. his fingers were nicely long, reaching in and probing against your sweet spots that you had convinced yourself didn’t exist. it all felt so good, your wetness leaking onto his fingers and probably dirtying his sheets too, the pleasure from both the simultaneous rubbing of your clit and his fingers fucking your pussy made your body writhe, feeling all sensitive, getting closer to the edge embarrassingly quick.

every pretty noise you were making was muffled against his mouth, feeling all hot and needy, something building up in your stomach. “i-i think m’gonna cum.” you fumbled over your words after pulling away from the kiss.

“keep lookin’ at me.” his fingers continued to thrust in and out of your pussy at a steady pace while rubbing your wet throbbing clit, his hands a mess, eyes staying locked onto your glossy ones. your breathing quickened as you felt your peak approaching, crying out once you orgasmed, cumming all over his fingers, walls clenching around him impossibly tight as your body convulsed. his fingers didn’t stop rubbing your clit until you were a limp mess in his arms, panting softly, all warm and fuzzy.

he gently pulled his fingers out, proudly looking at them before moving his fingers to your mouth. “lick it f’me?” he asked softly, your brain melted into mush as you opened your mouth to suckle onto his fingers for a while until he pulled them out. comfortably sitting you up, he cradled your face and pressed a kiss on your nose, watching you smile doppily, just so happy.

“wanna get cleaned up?” he tilted his head, causing your brows to furrow.

“but… what about you?” you asked, looking down at the tent formed in his pants. his cheeks reddened at your observation, shaking his head as he nuzzled his nose against yours.

“don’t wanna go so fast on you and freak you out. someday later, okay?” truth was that he knew he wouldn’t be able to control himself, claiming you as his as soon as he’d fuck you properly, letting his obsession unveil. he promised himself that he wouldn’t do that — not yet at least — wanting your first time to be gentle with him taking his time with you.

and you’d be looking forward to it.

[nochepsicodelica]

You and Toji are sitting at a table at a bar, talking about different things that went on throughout your days over some drinks. Toji tells you about how Shiu's been a real asshole lately, because his marriage is hanging on by a thread and he hasn't gotten laid in almost a month. He gives you a look that you interpret as him saying 'thank fuck that's not us' to which you respond with a little smirk.

When it's your turn, you tell him about how the new hire broke the copy machine, knocked over and broke the water gallon for the water dispenser, and crashed into someone, spilling hot coffee all over their shirt, all in the course of one day.

"That poor fucker's cursed," Toji says, amusement riddling his expression as he brings his glass of whiskey to his lips.

"He looked like he really needed a hug by the end of the day," you add, biting back a smile, before you take a sip of your own drink.

"Tell me you didn't," Toji says, taking in the seemingly telling look on your face. "Ma."

"I'm kidding. It's jokes, baby. I have no interest in hugging someone I haven't spoken a single word to."

Toji flicks your forehead, watching with a grin as you bring a hand up to rub the sting away. "Gotta piss, be right back, doll. Want another drink before I come back?"

"I'll wait for you to finish yours," you say, to which he nods before standing up from his seat.

"Be right back," Toji repeats, affectionately setting a heavy hand on your head, before he heads off in the direction of the restrooms.

You pull your phone out of your pocket and scroll through your socials while you wait. Altogether, Toji was gone for no longer than four minutes, and yet somehow, that was enough time for a rando to pull a chair up to your little table and start a conversation with you.

"Hey," he starts. "Why are you sitting here looking all lonely?"

You turn your head to face the person with the unfamiliar voice, slightly widening your eyes as if to question if he's talking to you. He looks at you with raised eyebrows, awaiting your response. "Oh, i'm not here alone. My boyfriend is in the bathroom," you respond, with a polite smile, before returning your attention to your phone.

"Ah. What kind of man leaves a pretty thing like you by herself in a place like this?" The stranger says, in a tone that almost seems pitiful towards you.

You look at him again and attempt to keep your expression neutral. "He'll be back any second now. He's just taking a piss, i'll be fine. Unless you're here to make things troubling for me."

The man chuckles, entertained by your quick shift in tone. "With a feisty attitude like that and a pretty mouth to keep up, it seems like you want me to get you in trouble."

You furrow your eyebrows, blatantly offended by his inappropriate insinuation. It's disturbing to see how he turned your warning into something sexual.

"I already told you, I have a boyfriend. Try someone else," you respond, no longer hiding your irritation.

Toji scans the room for the table you're sitting at, locating you and who-the-fuck in three seconds. This man looks awfully cozy with you, leaning in close every time he speaks to you, so he doesn't stand around any longer and quickly makes his way back to you and this new "friend".

"You sure you don't want another drink, doll?" Toji asks, sitting down in front of you, again, his gaze darting between you and this pocket square looking man. There's a difference between your demeanor from before he left and now. You clearly aren't comfortable, anymore.

"That's it? That is your supposed boyfriend?" The man asks, attempting to minimize Toji by referring to him as if he's nothing in comparison to himself. "Oh, princess. You see this watch?" He asks, raising the cuff of his sleeve to fully reveal his golden watch. "Four thousand dollars, and that's chump change."

You look at Toji and pull his hand into your shaky one, giving him a forced smile. Toji keeps his eyes on yours as the stranger continues spewing arrogant sludge about how much money he makes a year and how even the luxury car he has parked outside didn't put the smallest dent in his wallet.

"You would have it so good with me, baby," he continues blabbering. His hand goes to your wrist, a gesture that Toji quickly puts an end to by aggressively shoving the man's hand away, your empty glass clattering on the table from the force. Toji would have snapped the man's wrist and twisted his hand off, but he didn't want to scare you with the bloodshed. He feels like he's buzzing from the anger bubbling inside, and surely it won't be long before he acts out.

"Don't fucking touch her," Toji spits, glaring at the man with an expression that would have put him six feet under, if looks could kill.

Your heartbeat is in your ears and your blood is boiling. This man is disgusting for being persistent towards someone who doesn't want him. It's masochism, at this point, with the amount of times that you've made it clear that you're not interested.

The man snorts, snobbishly. "He brought you here, of all places. Even just glancing at him, you can tell this cheap ass place is all he can afford. He'll never be able to give you everything you want, so just come with me, doll face."

You rip your hand out of Toji's grasp and stand from your chair, delivering a resounding blow to the man's already hideous face. Tables and chairs wobble as he tries to keep his balance, but when you quickly strike him again, hard enough to increase the pain you felt in your knuckles with that first hit, you manage to knock him onto the ground.

"Fuck you, you fucking asshole. You don't know shit!" You grit out, dropping down to try and land another hit to the man's bleeding face. By now, Toji is behind you, restraining your arms and pulling you back as a small crowd begins to form to observe the commotion.

"Ma, come on. Let's just go."

"Let me dent his fucking face in, Toji," you mutter, writhing in his grip.

The vile man manages to sit up, dabbing his fingertips against his busted lip. Though there is red blossoming on his face, his lips still form an amused, twisted smile. He laughs as he watches you get reeled back by Toji, seething as you are dragged away like a child having a meltdown in the middle of a store.

"Hey-- Hey, I said let's go," Toji says, his tone sharper when you continue to try to break out of his hold to fight the idiotic sociopath.

You take a deep breath and stop, willingly letting Toji take you away from this chaos you created in his defense. His hand rests on the nape of your neck, as he guides you through the stuffy bar and leads you outside to the car.

"Stop pacing," Toji says, watching as you threaten to make the asphalt beneath your feet waste away with every step you take in your heated state.

"Fucking asshole, dickhead, motherfucker." You groan, loudly, furiously, before covering your face with your hands. "It's fine, it's fine," you mumble to yourself.

"Then, stop pacing," he repeats, watching on as you walk the same steps, over and over, as if you're on autopilot. "Ma, eyes. Eyes." His hands go to your shoulders, manually forcing you to halt your movement. "Listen to me. I said eyes."

"I'm so... I can't stand still," you say, weakly.

"Stop looking around. Right here," Toji instructs, lifting one hand from your shoulder and pointing two fingers at his eyes. You release a shaky puff of air and hold his gaze as best as you can.

"Talk when you're ready," he says, following your eyes whenever they derail from his.

You aren't ready soon enough. You feel like your heart is trying to burst out of your chest and the adrenaline coursing through you isn't helping at all. Your hand hurts. Your knuckles feel bruised and they're bloody. The night might be ruined, but you felt your reaction was the only way to release the pain you felt when that nothing started talking the way he did about Toji. All you can think to do is hug Toji to prevent yourself from crying about your cause for attacking the gross man. It's all so much. You've never felt so strongly for someone, to the point where you hit a stranger for insulting them. It's scary how Toji brings that defensive, yet, offensive side out of you.

Strong, heavy arms reciprocate your embrace, keeping your tense body close. You feel warm and safe, his scent and the pressure of his hold managing to slowly calm your unsteady heartbeat. After a few seconds of quietness, you turn your head and rest the side of your face on him, finally prepared to speak.

"I didn't like how he was talking about you, Toji. He was talking shit even before you came back, and I hated it. I hated it so much, that I felt nauseous and if I hadn't done something, I would have been sick."

Toji sighs, not out of disappointment or feelings of that sort, but because you seeking out danger for his sake, was not something he ever wanted to see.

"Doll, you know how much I love you."

This sounds like a layer of sugar preceding a talking to. You're trying not to be nervous before the scolding even begins, but you feel the need to brace yourself, as well.

"I love you, too," you mumble.

Toji knows it. He's known it all along, and the events that transpired tonight were just another way of you proving your love and showing how much he matters to you.

"Want you to look at me," he says, lowering his arms on your back, allowing you to make the space necessary to give him your attention. He offers you a soft smile. "Don't get all fidgety on me after you just ripped a stranger's face open."

"I feel like you're about to yell at me," you say, lowly.

That makes him want to laugh, but he keeps his amusement to a minimum, since you're clearly anticipating something terrible.

"Nah. When have I ever raised my voice at you?"

"Never."

"Exactly. Never, and I won't start now, but I want you to get this through your pretty head... It's not your job to beat people up for me."

"I know, but-"

Toji shakes his head. "Hold on, mama. Let me finish talking, then it'll be your turn."

Your heart feels like it's in the depths of your stomach, but you nod, and allow him to continue talking.

"I'm not mad at you, i'm not gonna yell at you. Just wanna keep you safe, is all. That guy was already a fuckin' weirdo, harassing you like that and trying to get you to go with him while I was right there. I wouldn't be surprised if he was into hitting women, too, if he's so comfortable with making them uncomfortable."

It's quiet while you think of what to say. You don't want this to escalate into something that turns you against each other, when it started out as an act of love. You could argue about how you did this to defend him, but in the end, you know his own need to protect you, will stomp all over your arguments.

"I'm sorry we had to leave, but i'm not sorry for the reason behind it. I don't regret what I did."

"Ma..."

"No, Toji. He didn't even know you and yet he still said things that aren't fair." Your voice quiets down, the beginnings of stronger emotions threatening to outwardly reveal themselves. "He insulted you. He questioned your abilities as my boyfriend when he saw me alone— even after I told him you just went to the bathroom. He judged you superficially, he said you can't give me everything I want and--" you pause, interrupted by a shaky inhale and the painful lump in your throat. "Sorry," you mumble, when the first set of tears roll down your cheeks.

"No, you're alright," Toji says, in response, his warm hands coming up to cup your cheeks, thumbs wiping away your fleeing tears. There's a small pinch in his brows. Why are you crying? It's something he can't ask you, because he knows that if he makes a big spectacle out of it, you'll end up drowning in your tears and shutting down everything you have to say. He resorts to keeping your cheeks dry and encouraging you to keep talking.

"Go on, mama."

You sniff, before picking up where you left off. "I don't care about all that, Toji. I don't care where we go to spend time together, because we're together. I need you, not for you to buy me things or take me to fancy places. That's not what I'm with you for."

Your heart is beating fast, again, its rhythm no longer controlled by fear or nerves, but instead the focus that Toji has on you. He's good at holding eye contact with you, something that occasionally gets distracting if you become too aware of it. You notice that his expression is softer. Maybe it's your brief flash of tears or the way you are always subconsciously finding a way to indirectly recite some of the reasons for why you love him.

"I love you, Toji. That means I won't just sit around and let someone talk about you like you're worthless. And I know, I know you can handle things like this on your own and you don't need me, but it was hard to listen to that."

You pause, as if to give him a break from your bulldozing heart. Silence takes over the moment, both of you just looking at each other. Toji's speechlessness has you wondering if you spilled too much of your heart out to him. You know some things are better left to be figured out, such as the range of a person's love, and yet you just poured without measure. "You can call me crazy if you want to."

Toji's shit-eating grin is unexpected, but it's definitely a sight that lifts some of the heaviness you feel in your chest.

"You love me," Toji says, still smiling like a doofus. He knows your serious facade will crack if he looks at you like this for long enough. He can already see a shift in the expression of your eyes and the way your lips are pressing together just a little more. He tilts his head slightly, a gesture that pushes you even further towards that pretty smile he wants to see. When you finally crack and give into his charm, you do so with a mutter of 'you're so dumb.'

"I'm glad that's what you got out of my rambling," you say, wholeheartedly and in better spirits. Toji pulls you in, this time, his soothing warmth and familiar scent tangling around you, again. His chin rests on top of your head and his arms secure themselves around you, tightly.

"I'm not gonna call you crazy, ma. It's not what I think. Also, don't go saying things that aren't true. I do need you," Toji says, his voice level kept at an intimate volume, as if there are other people there in the parking lot with you. His words are solely meant for you to hear anyway and getting them to you in this manner ensures that you won't go home with your heart feeling heavy, after a talk that was meant to comfort you.

"You know, I don't care what other people think— and that's not to say I don't appreciate you throwing a few punches for my sake. You're a sweetheart and you care so much, but if it's a stranger saying some unimportant, dumb shit, it takes a lot for it to actually get to me. If it really bothered me, they'd be gone."

"Yeah... I know," you mumble, into his shirt, knowing you would do it again and again— countless times. You loosen your arms around Toji and he does the same, his hands dragging towards your waist after you separate.

"How's that hand?" Toji asks, picking your wrist up before you can even respond. He whistles at the sight of the slight swelling and the dry specks of crimson spotted over your knuckles.

"A little tender," you say, feeling a tinge of fear when his other hand lifts off your waist to feel the damage.

"Looks real good on your pretty hand," he says, dragging his index finger over the protruding bones of your hand.

"Does it?" You ask, your barely there smile falling when you wince at the little bit of pressure Toji applies.

"No," he responds, bringing it up to his lips and pressing a kiss to the sore area. You wince again when his thumb drags over your skin with slightly more pressure than before. "It doesn't. We'll ice it when we get home, alright?" He lets up on the torturous touching, but keeps your hand in his. The words aren't meant to hurt you. He doesn't mean them and he hopes he communicates that with the way he still opts to hold your hand. Your hands will always be pretty to him, he just can't say that to you, right now. Not if it serves as the smallest bit of encouragement for you to repeat what happened earlier, in the future.

"Okay." You nod.

"Gimme a kiss and we can go home or wherever, if you wanna stay out."

You tilt your head up and wait for his lips to meet yours. It's a gentle brush of lips, but the second Toji's hands start slipping under the back of your sweater and your shirt, you know it's going to be more than a single kiss. You can feel the night's cold wind nipping at your skin, as his hands go higher up, his fingertips reaching just below the hooks of your bra. To your surprise, he unhooks the garment, causing you to quickly press your hands to your chest when the cups loosen, to prevent them from fully sliding down.

"Toji," you manage to utter out during the wave of kisses. You turn your head, receiving a kiss that was meant for your lips, on your cheek.

"Yeah... I think we should go home," he murmurs, against your skin. "Maybe we can rock the car a little bit before we go, hm?" Toji smirks when you let out that flustered giggle he's so familiar with. He presses another kiss to your cheek before you turn to face him, again.

"Okay, but let's not blow it all here. We have a nice and comfortable bed at home. Let's add another good night to it."

You don't miss the way Toji's lustfully lidded, green eyes, keep glancing down at your hands on your chest, or how he's mindlessly caressing your bare waist, under your shirt.

"Alright, ma." He pulls out his car keys and with the press of a button, the car unlocks with a beep and the brief, dull sound of flipping locks. "Get inside."

[theactualsunshinechild]

Seeing this post always immediately reminds me of a fun story from early on in my relationship that my partner and I affectionately refer to as

The Can Opener Incident

This was back in my college days. That semester I was living in a dorm that was more like a collection of small apartments on the very fringes of campus territory. My partner had come over to spend the night at my dormroom, and we were going about making some pasta in the little kitchenette. The pasta was already fully cooked and strained when we suddenly encountered a problem:

The canned pasta sauce I had bought was not a pop top, and rummaging around the kitchen for a can opener revealed that I had neglected to bring one.

Not one to settle for miserable, dry pasta on a cozy home date, I ran over to the dorm room next door and asked to borrow a can opener. They're a little startled to find someone knocking on their door at 9 PM, but they let me borrow it with no resistance. Upon bringing it back is when the problems truly began.

You see, all of my life I had used a can opener which you latched to the side of the can and twisted the knob to make the sharp ring cut into the top of the can vertically, parallel to the side of the can. This one looked similar, all the right parts were in the right places, so I gave it a shot... but nothing happened. My partner comes up and tells me I'm using it wrong, and I think to myself "oh, okay, so maybe he's used this kind of can opener before, I'll let him at it," and I hand it off to him.

The can opener my partner has used his whole life is the kind that you latch on to the TOP of the can, so instead of holding the handle at the side, you're holding it horizontally over the top of the can. I didn't know that kind of can opener even existed, so when he tried using this one his way, I looked at him like he was insane. This look quickly intensified as this method also didn't work. Things rapidly went downhill from there. He defensively explained the way his can opener at home worked, and I started pointing to the structure of the can opener and arguing why this one wouldn't work that way. We're a little frustrated, but it's nothing some pasta can't fix, so I propose I simply go over next door to the people who I borrowed the can opener from and ask them how to use it.

As I reached over to take it from him, he held it out of my reach.

"No! I'll figure it out myself!" He announced.

"What? Why? It's easier to just ask the owner," I argue, jumping around trying to get at the items.

"Because I can figure it out!"

Okay. Fine. I guess he wants to solve this like some kind of puzzle for enrichment. I give up and I wait. The fiddling begins. I'm standing there watching him try increasingly improbable methods of getting that thing to work over and over. The pasta is getting cold. He's testing methods that have already proven not to work, trying new methods that physically couldn't work, then trying the ones that have already failed us all over again. My stomach growls.

"We should really just ask," I grumble, hungry and frustrated.

"No, I've got this."

He does not fucking got this. I want my goddamn food and I do not have time for this puzzle solving.

"Give it here."

"No."

"I'm just gonna take it to the owners and ask them to show us how to use it, you can come with."

"No! I want to figure out out myself!!"

"And I want my food god fucking damn it!!"

This went on for a bit. The pasta was drying to the side of the pot and getting crusty. At some point during this yelling match I got so pissed off that I stormed out of my own apartment into the cold with no coat on.

'I need to make him see reason!' I thought to myself, making my way through the snow. One building over was where two of his friends were rooming together. I knock on their door, boiling with rage. It is 10 PM.

"Hey, can you come over? [Partner] is being completely unreasonable and obstinate over figuring out how a can opener we borrowed works and won't let me take it to the owner to ask. Please help me convince him to hand it over, I'm literally too short to wrestle it from him."

"Alright, let me grab my coat."

We head back over to my place to find my partner Still Messing Around with that godforsaken can opener.

"Let me see that for a second," says his friend, taking his coat off. I experienced a moment of relief, thinking to myself, 'Finally!' as my partner pouted for a second, but relinquished the can opener.

This peaceful glorious relief fizzled out into horror as his friend began to try to open the can the same way I had.

"That's weird. It really looks like it should work this way..." he mutters.

"Try it from the top, that's how my parents' works," my partner suggests.

"No no, that won't work, just give me a second to figure it out."

Oh my fucking god.

I stared blankly, watching them study the can opener and turn the can this way and that, both completely absorbed in finding the solution to this hour long problem. I was going to lose my fucking mind. Perhaps in that moment I really did. Shellshocked, I stood, wondering how it had come to this. I just wanted some fucking pasta and a relaxed night in, and instead I've gotten these goddamn STEM majors milling around in my kitchen at 10:25 PM arguing over how to use a can opener that isn't even mine. So I went and did what, in retrospect, I should have done ages ago: I went next door for help.

I can't imagine what my neighbor must have thought of me, showing up over an hour after borrowing their can opener, looking as if something inside of me had died, and, with a hint of desperation in my eyes, begging them tearfully to come next door and show us all how to use their can opener. Over an hour after borrowing it.

Well, whatever they thought of it all, they did oblige my pleas. Their arrival thankfully broke up the debate, and as all three of us watched intently as hawks over their shoulder, they cracked open that can of pasta for us.

Using it the exact same way I had tried at the start of it all.

It was just dull.

"I don't need a shopping list; with effort, I will remember that I need this item"

Okay but will you be able to remember that you already bought it? Because apparently I can't.

[bigbrownboots]

so ever since the quizzes came out and we finally got confirmation on what the hell it is that all the other contra-elementals can do, i’ve been obsessed with the confirmation that.. Lasko is canonically super fucking powerful as a magic user, and specifically as an air elemental. here’s why: (possible tw: mention of asphyxiation as it occurs across the storyline and the Imperium briefly)

in the first video where contras are really brought up - Audio RP | Catching Up and Hanging Out With Your Himbo Friend [M4A] - Huxley uses fire elementals and fire-contras as his main example for how elementals and contras compare: he talks about how fire elementals are great at producing heat, but it takes far more effort for them to be able to take it in, and even when they do, they cannot take in much. that’s something that fire-contras are much better equipped to do, since that’s their specialty.

we already know that specialists will always be the most capable when it comes to performing their specific branch of magic, and for everyone else, that’s something they have to train and build to over time.

Lasko is an air elemental. air elementals are great at controlling air, and again, producing gusts, hurricanes, flurries of wind and such. it is specifically air-contras that specialise in taking large amounts of air in, and thus creating vacuums.

do you see where i’m going with this?

we know from what Lasko revealed about his past that, even completely untrained, he was able to completely take in all the air in a room - which he and his mother were standing in, so, presumably it was one of the main rooms in his childhood home, not just a tiny storage space or a cupboard under the stairs - Lasko managed to take out all the air in that entire room, creating a vacuum strong enough that his mother could not breathe in.

and we know that this wasn’t a one-time fluke due to his powers manifesting, because he’s still capable of performing this ability, seemingly without substancial effort. in his very first audio - Audio RP | Nervous Air Elemental Guidance Councillor Schedules Your Classes [M4A] - Lasko mentions that he “should’ve just negated all the air in the room to douse the flames” when Damien set his papers on fire, but this time decided not to, since he “can’t just suffocate him” (referring to Damien).

also, if we want to bring the Imperium storyline into this, (which i understand that technically, President Moore is a different character, but let’s say that theoretically they would be at similar power-levels - since the only way to improve your magic is by training it, and both characters started from the same parentally-established-magically-restrictive-humanborn place, and spent presumably the same amount of time at the academy) President Moore is able to take all of the air out of a room and create a vacuum able to asphyxiate a person even “through a wall,” “just as simply” (holy fuck). and, in addition to this, Vindemiator blatantly says “you’re strong, Lasko” as he’s pinning him. he has no reason to lie or to inflate (ha ha) Moore’s ego, in fact, Vindemiator is very open with how much he despises Moore, so i’m inclined to believe the powerful demon when he admits to Moore’s magical control.

but, even without considering the Imperium, i think it’s definitely something to think about. even just as an air elemental, Lasko is able to wield air-contra magic like it’s just a part of his natural skillset. Lasko Moore is a fucking powerful magic user.

- i would like to point out now that it’s entirely possible that Mr Redacted didn’t have everything fleshed out from the beginning, and that Lasko’s ability to take in air could have originally been just a part of air elementals’ capabilities, (and then with the inclusion of contras, things got divided and changed) but i think it’s fun to believe and theorise regardless.

in conclusion: holy fuck, Lasky

[ray935sworld]

Valentino Rossi's academy of supernatural rider (Chapter 20: Not just empty threats)

TW: mention of suicide, violence, threats and death

Vale was walking through the corridors. He didn’t ask where he had to go. He knew it in an instant. He didn’t even question who he was so sure to find his way in a place he had never been before. He knew where to go and how to get there without being noticed.

And he didn’t hesitate as he pushed the door away. He heard a dark knock as the door hit the wall. It sounded violent. He didn’t care. He couldn’t. He just didn’t had it left in him.

All he felt was pain. He felt hate. He felt fear. He felt the bussing feeling of loneliness in his head showing him that his brother was almost gone. Only his wolf remained. He hated that feeling. He wanted to rip his head open and destroy it himself.

26 year were too short of a time to stop being able to have Luca close. And all he wanted was to hug his baby brother. He wanted to hold him close, give him a kiss on the forehead and tell him that everything would be fine. He wanted to tell him that it didn’t matter who said what about him, because he would never be alone. He would always be by his side, even if the world was against him. Noone could separate them.

Vale wanted to comfort Luca, like he had done so many times ever since the young boy had been born. He wanted to hold him close and protect him from the world. He wanted to dry his tears and distract.

But he couldn’t and as he stared inside the room, he saw the reason right there.

Alex sat up straight, taken aback by the sound. He immediately froze on the spot as he looked up. He felt his mouth hang open and his eyes widen. He was the last person he had expected. He hadn’t expected anyone. Maybe Luca. But he never thought he would see him right now.

There was a lot to say after all and he really didn’t had the strength to say it now. He just didn’t want to deal with him now.

But here he was.

He took a deep breath, ready to say something. He wasn’t even sure what he’d say. He wanted to explain. He

wanted to say they should step outside to give Marc some peace and quiet.

Marc was sleeping. He didn’t want to wake him up right now. He was still weak. Alex hoped the Italian would at least have the heart to leave Marc out of this for now while Dani stayed there to make sure the new werewolf didn’t do anything stupid.

Well and then there was this werewolf issue they had to deal with. So lots of conversations, Alex didn’t want to have.

But why now?

This whole situation seemed to only be getting worst and Alex started to wonder if fate was currently laughing at him with all the different turns his life had taking in the course of 4 days.

He took a deep breath, ready to ask Rossi to leave Marc out of this but he didn’t. He couldn’t. The pure rage on Vales face was enough to silence him.

It was such a raw expression. His eyes cold. His pupils were smaller than usual. He pulled his lips up revealing teeth clearly too sharp to be human. If it hadn’t been for Dani’s explanation that both brothers were werewolf, he would question that.

Rossi was angry. That surely couldn’t be good. The only reasonable explanation would be Luca. Alex assumed he had called him and explained everything that happened.

Luca must have mentioned Marc’s injury, the change, their fight… And for some reason that was enough for the retired rider to just show up.

So where was he?

Had he left him alone again but this time with an angry Vale? It somehow felt like another betray. Like Luca was throwing Alex to the wolf. To Rossi.

“YOU!” the Italian hissed loudly. “You fucking bastard-!” before someone could do anything, Vale was already next to Alex, grabbing him at the neck of his shirt. He pulled him up and pressed him against a wall. His hands were on his collar. He used all his force to press him against the wall.

It was inhuman strength.

“What the fuck have you asshole done to my brother? What have you done to him?” He almost screamed. He pressed Alex against the wall who could help but let out a sound of pain. The cold stones were pressed against his spine.

Vales eyes were wide and crazy. He looked like he was about to lose his mind.

“Vale, calm down!” Dani had gotten up just as quickly. His hand went towards Vales, trying to ease the grip around the shirt of the young man. “Calm down?!” he spit back. The disgust was clear in his voice as his hands reached for Alex jaw.

Violently. He pulled his face up. He pressed the back of his head against the wall. It was a lot. Alex wanted to scream but he felt like any sound would just make this worst.

“I am this close to bite out his vocal cord and fucking swallow it and you’re telling me to calm down?!”

Alex whined. He was afraid. He was so fucking afraid because he believed Vale. He was serious about hurting him. He was already conflicting physical pain and his level of anger was so high he definitely could be able to. And he didn’t know how Vale being a werewolf affected this all.

He wanted to cry. He felt weak. Like a child. He was helpless and he didn’t understand what was even going on. He wanted to be protected and his first thought was Luca. Luca always said he would always protect him. Against everyone and everything.

So where was he? Why was he letting him down? Again?

But Dani was there and he didn’t care about Vale’s strength. Dani was ready to defend Alex against everything and everyone. Alex was his little brother just as much so he took the Italians attack personal.  

“Yes I do!” The Spaniard replied, forcefully ripping his hands of the boy. “Because right now you are acting like a stubborn 5 year old that is angry because his best friend talks to someone else. You are a grown man, get a fucking hold of yourself and act like it!” Dani screamed.

Screaming was for the calm man unusual but he would not accept Vale speaking to Alex like that.

Vale slightly turned to him. His murderous glance now directed at the other retired rider. “Careful, Pedrosa. I am much stronger than you are” he said, letting his teeth flash in the artificial light.

Jorge looked from his husband to his former teammate. He would get in between them in a heartbeat if Dani was in real danger. But right now it were just threats and no real risk. And he knew that his husband could handle Vale better than anyone else. Especially like this.

“Try your luck, Wolfie. I am not scared of you.” He replied coldly. He took a step towards him, looking up at him. He pressed him slightly away, giving Alex the chance to make a run. Quickly, he dogged away and fled to the other side of the room, where Jorge put a protective arm around him.

He pulled him close, feeling him shiver for a moment. He wanted to kill him right there and then just for scaring Alex. They wouldn’t let anyone threaten their boys.

“You are just angry because your little brother is in a relationship with someone you don’t like.” Dani said in the meantime. “And I know the Marquez family aren’t on top of your preferred in law list, but Luca and Alex are a great couple. They… It is complicated at the moment but every couple has their fights. I’m sure they’ll-“

“Oh shut the fuck up! You think I care that he is fucking my baby brother right now when he-“ “Baby brother?” Jorge interrupted, his arms crossed in front his chest. They wouldn’t be easy for any of them. “We are talking about a grown ass man. He’s closer to 30 than to 20. Fucking act like it.”

Vale used the moment to give his ex-teammate a look of ‘shut the fuck up’ before he replied with a stern “Baby brother. Still. And he will always be. Asshole.”

“Hold up…” Alex said, after having found the trust in his voice again. “If… If this is not about me and Luca dating- “ He just decided to go along with this version as he had no interest in explaining his dating and moral dilemma to the angry brother of his boyfriend or potential ex-boyfriend. “Then what the fuck is this about?”

Vale went from completely ignoring him to staring at him in disbelief. The look on his face was priceless. He was taken aback by that. The shock or surprise seemed to cover his hate for a moment. Obviously, it had been clear to him that whatever was going on, should be well known to Alex.

“You – You don’t know, do you? You have no idea what you done to him?” There a laugh at the end of his sentence, but it only made him look insane. Not happy. Or relived. It was an insane laugh, like he could believe what was going on.

“What I did to him?” Alex repeated and now he was the one that felt close to insanity. He tried to go over everything in his head. What had he done? He remembered everything and for a second the hurt came back and he just wanted to cry and disappear. But he didn’t. Marc was back. He was save. There was no reason to break down again.

He pulled himself back up. Marc was alive. Luca was who knows where after their fight.

“You have no idea what went down here the last days” he stated, his voice slightly shivering. He was so close to just scream and let all the emotions he gathered during the last days out. But he wouldn’t give Rossi the satisfaction of knowing that he got to him.

“So don’t you dare fucking judge me.” He was proud of himself for standing his ground. He felt Valentino look him up and down. It was a judgy look. He looked angry and just as Alex was about to call it a win for him, the Italian responded “You really are an as arrogant asshole as your fucking brother” and the other froze on the spot. Because what is that even supposed to mean?

“Okay, Vale, that’s enough” Dani said annoyed. “If you’re just hear to insult Alex, just fucking leave.”

“Trust me, I will. I would love to do nothing else but leave but before I can do that, I need to know what this cunt did to my brother that he lost his mind!” “Lost his mind? Are you delusional?” Alex scoffed. This was starting to get ridiculous. There was no sense in his words.

“We had a fight. Okay? Yes, I said some mean things after he tried to murder my brother. Sorry that I have emotions!” he said, his gaze not leaving Vale. Alex was fed up. He wanted to be alone. He wanted to be with Marc, who was still sound asleep, unaware of the events in his surroundings. He wanted to be with Luca and talk everything through. He wanted his boyfriend back. He wanted the relationship back he had a few days ago when everything was good.

Rossi however was not on the list of people who he wanted to deal with.

“But fucking hell” the younger Marquez took a deep breath as he continued. “He is an adult. I am sure he can handle some insult and being yelled at without you playing bodyguard or whatever the fuck you’re currently trying to do.”

“You really have no idea what you did”

Alex was really close to just throw a book at him for his cryptic statements.

“Valentino, I…” he sighed. For a moment he actually considered just calling security and throwing him out. He was very close but he assumed it would just complicate things further. This particular Italian really wasn’t known for being able to handle rejection well. “Luca and I –A lot has happened, okay? You can’t blame me for saying things I shouldn’t have said in anger. You’re the expert in that, after all” “Oh fuck off, Marquez”

He had no hesitation so he just replied with “How many times have you said that, hoping to end an argument” “Careful with your words, fucker” And Alex scoffed at that. That boy was done. He almost lost his brother. The love of his life had lied to him for years. And now he had to deal with Marc being a werewolf and a fucking Italian with anger issues and attitude problems.

“No.” he said, deciding enough is enough. He didn’t act rational. There was no justification for it. So he refused to put up with it. “You come here, in my brother hospital room and attack me. You have the audacity to physically attack me, threaten me and scream at me cause I had a fight with your brother? Grow the fuck up. Luca is an adult. This isn’t pre-school so I am pretty sure he can handle some insults and yelling in a tense situation.”

“What you called being yelled at, caused him so much pain that he has lost his human side which basically equals death for a werewolf”

But that however, seemed like a good reason for Vales behaviour.

Alex brain stopped for a moment. He took the words in. He repeated them again and again. He tried to make sense of them. He tried to connect them with a meaning in his head. Luca lost his human side? Because of him? Which could kill him?

Luca could die? Because of him?

He felt like he couldn’t breath as he understood it. Losing Luca? No. No, please not.

A shiver ran down his spin. Yes. He had cursed at Luca. He had wanted to throw him to hell. He wanted him to disappear so he never had to see him again and deal with whatever remained between them. He only wanted to hate him.

But that was when he thought that he had actively wanted to hurt his brother. Now he learned the truth. Now he knew that whatever he did wasn’t out of spite or hate or to actually bring harm to Marc. It didn’t made the situation easier. It made it worst actually but now he had to deal with it.

“Wait what?” he asked quietly and as he saw how the tension left Rossi’s shoulders, he realized he was just as exhausted as he was from worrying about his brother. Alex saw the hurt in Vale’s eyes the same way Vale saw the fear in Alex’s eyes. There was shock and fear and disbelieve.

“He has lost you” he said, anger still lingering in his voice. It sounded like an accusation. Like he had blood dripping from his hands. Like he was really responsible that Luca might be… Somehow… No longer here.

It sounded ridiculous. But so did the existence of werewolves. Or his brother getting healed in minutes from a fatal injury. So nothing sounded impossible to him right now. “And as much as I hate to admit it” he continued as Alex looked up again. ”Luca loves you. Desperately. You’re his soulmate and he lost you. That… It can drive a werewolf in insanity to lose their soulmate. And if a werewolf goes insane, there is no human left to be saved.”

Too much. There was too much information. And too less at the same time. There were too many worlds that hold too much meaning he didn’t understood. He wanted to ask 1000 question but he feared to hear the answer. He was scared to learn what it really meant.

“I don’t understand.”

Vale sighed. He looked at him. There was pain and pity in his gaze. He wasn’t sure for who it was.

“The pain of thinking he lost you” he explained. His voice sounded on edge. “for whatever reason or in whatever way, was so painful that his wolf took control” Alex wanted to scream and cry. Nothing made sense. This wasn’t right. It didn’t sound like Luca. A part of him was still yelling that Luca was human. But he knew he wasn’t. “Vale, you’re making no sense”

“We balance human and wolf side. But if something happens that’s dangerous, sad or enraging, we lose this balance. The side that can deal better with it, takes control. And sometimes – when the pain is really bad, we lose the connection to the other part of ourself”

He stepped closer. Anger returned to his eyes. All the explanation seemed to shake him up again. Alex swallowed hardly. Whatever followed wasn’t good.

“And whatever you said to him was enough to hurt him so much that his subconsciousness decided that he wasn’t able to deal with it as a human. He pushed him back and locked him out  his own had. So right now, my brother is a wolf, hiding somewhere in the woods and refuses to change back.”

“But he can just change back! Let human Luca take control again, push the wolf or whatever away!” he threw back. His mind refused to accept that he might lose Luca. It wasn’t on the table. He had to hold onto that. “He can’t!” Vale yelled back, his anger lurking through again. He stared at him with hate. His face twitched. He was losing control. He looked like a wild animal.

“I lost my brother. Don’t you understand? Are you such an asshole that you don’t understand?” He took a few steps towards him. “Luca is basically killing himself because of you! And what did he do?! Tell me what he did to deserve this? What did my baby brother – MY BROTHER – DO THAT HE DESERVES TO DIE?!”

Tears were shimmering in his eyes. They hit Alex like a tones of bricks. Vale was worried. He wasn’t angry at him. He didn’t hate him for being in a relationship with Luca. And this had nothing to do with Marc either. This was just about them. This was just an older brother worried that he might lose his younger brother, a boy he saw grow up since he was a baby.

It was a brother worrying for a brother.

Alex understood that. Especially after the last days. But now he was somehow responsible for that.

“I… I am sorry” he admitted. Because he was. He had no idea. This wasn’t meant to happen. He was angry but actually losing Luca? No. He refused to. “Oh fuck off. That wont bring my baby back.”

“Vale, that’s enough.” Dani said, taking back more control over the situation at the sight of a devastated Alex. He had seen enough. He had heard enough. Vale wasn’t himself anymore and he was just using the younger one to inflict emotional pain.

“What do you want him to do? Right now. What can we do to help Luca? There has to be a way. Surely you know how to get Luca back? Cause those accusation don’t help anyone”

“Oh they do. They so do… ” He stepped closer to Alex and whispered in a dangerous tone. “If my brother dies, I won’t kill you-“ “Vale shut up” Dani exclaimed. He was ready to punch the werewolf again. “No. Let me speak, Pedrosa or I’ll make sushi out of your husband”

He was being too serious not to take him serious. “So… Alex…” He turned back to him. Slowly. Like a predator, torturing his pray, knowing there was no escape. He took his time. Because he could.

“Like I said before I got so rudely interrupted… I won’t kill you. Don’t worry.” A grin, filled with hate spread over his face. “Instead I will make sure that you know exactly how I feel. I am going to make your life such a hell that you’re going to kill yourself. I will destroy everything and everyone you love-“

He knew he should hold back, but it just escaped his mouth. “You’re gonna kill Marc?” he asked anxiously.  “No��� That’d be to painless. He will live – for now. Instead I will make him go insane. He will be the monster you saw in Luca but now in reality and it will be so much worse than anything you could imagine. I’ll make sure of that.”

Alex flinched. Going after his brother?

“You see… Marc once told me, back in 2014 that he would do anything to keep you safe. Really sweet actually… You’re very close. But the thing is… So are Luca and I. And I would also do anything to keep him safe. But I would also do anything to revenge him.”

Alex couldn’t breathe.

“If my brother goes insane, it seems like an appropriate payback to turn your brother into an actual monster. A real, feral werewolf with no ability to change back. Luca changed him, didn’t he? So he has not learn how to take control yet. So... No control. No holding back… He’d be a wild animal, still hurt from the change, angry and confused cause he’d have no idea what’s going on. Do you understand? All the primal urges and instincts would be there. But much more aggressive and no natural fear.”

The way he said it, made so much sense to Alex that he was sure he would cry. “How would you feel seeing him like that? Because of something you did?” Marc? Like that? No. No, he had to do something. He had to stop that. He had to prevent this.

“He wouldn’t even recognize you. All he’d see is a source of danger. He’d attack everything and everyone blindly. Even you… Maybe I even get him to kill you.�� He laughed slightly and the insanity was written all over his face. He spoke slowly. There was no rush in his voice. Every word was a dagger that he used to slowly kill Alex.

“Oh imagine that… He changes back – And yes I can force that, very violent, very hurtful and harmful – and he’s all alone. He doesn’t understand what happened to him. Or where he is. But there is blood on his hands. He looks down and sees a familiar face – if you’re still recognizable that is. Maybe he doesn’t leave enough of you in one piece that even he’d be unable to recognize the boy he spent his whole life with…”

Not even Jorge was able to recognize Vale as he spoke like that. But it had never been about Luca.

“Marc would think he just killed a random person and he returns, searching for you only to slowly realize that you’re not coming back. Maybe he wonders if that stranger was closer to him than he though. Maybe he spends his whole life questioning if you were that poor soul whose life he ended that violently or if you ran away when you found out what your big brother has become.”

Dani just stood there frozen. There was nothing he could do to stop Vale, as it would endanger them even more to anger an emotionally hurt werewolf. He wanted to pull Alex away and prevent him from listing. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t save Alex and Vale still continued.

“Or he leaves your face more or less alone. You’re staring up at him as he looks down. Still looking up to the golden boy. Right? Older brothers… You kids always look up to them. But even in death? Would you still look up to him if he tears your heart out your chest? Would you forgive him? Cause it wouldn’t be his fault… Right?”

Poison. His words felt like poison.

“But now your body is laying to his feet, bleeding out. You’re completely covered in your own blood. Cold or warm? What would be worst? And the taste of  your flesh and blood would still be lingering in his mouth after he tore you apart. It probably would never leave him alone. He would spent the rest of his life knowing how his baby brother tastes… Tell me, Alex… What would do you think that would do to your beloved brother?” 

[rin-hanarin]

Welp, I guess it's time for me to filter out the Veilguard spoilers. I was chill with them for a while, but I'm catching some wild ones I'd rather learn from the game, there's gonna be nothing left by the time the game actually comes out. If only people weren't tagging literally everything including minor bullshit as spoilers.

[thenationofzaun]

Like... Season 1 asks you to put yourself into Silco's shoes and understand that in this moment, he feels he is face to face with his younger self. So he decides to be to her the person that he himself never had during the lowest point of his life. It asks you to empathize with how two broken people with no prior relation to each other can be thrust into a fierce unbreakable bond by their traumatic circumstances. It gives complexity to both Silco and Jinx in that moment and expects you to grapple with it. Silco, who up to this point has been depicted villainously, reveals a softer side to him as he shows compassion to this child he could easily kill. Jinx, who up to this point has been depicted innocently, reveals a dark rage within her as she chooses to indulge it and join the man who murdered Vander. Complex, interesting, gray characterization for both.

Then Season 2 goes nope haha! He's just her godfather. That's why he took her in. She probably just recognized her Uncle Silco. Even ignoring the massive plot holes this reveal opens up (the timeline does NOT add up and Silco definitely didn't know who the fuck these kids were lmao. He literally says "hello little girl" in this very scene. He doesn't know her name!!) It's so unbelievably cheap. A redundant and unnecessary explanation for something that was already poignant enough just the way it was in Season 1.

I fucking hate this, what do you MEAN it explains it, did Season 1 not already explain it?? Did Season 1 not make you understand it already?? Did Season 1 not focus on Vander's corpse and the emotions on Silco's face when Powder tells him Vi left her? Did you not get that Silco empathized with her because he knows how it feels to be abandoned by an older sibling? Did he not spend the entire season comparing Vi to Vander and his past to Jinx's? Were there not already multiple scenes depicting Silco and Jinx's bond and how he came to fiercely love her after years of taking care of her?? You stilI needed another hamfisted justification for his love for her?? He needed to be her godfather and friends with her dead mother for you to understand Season 1? I despise takes like this so muchhh

[mamawasatesttube]

the whole "jason rules crime alley and none of the other bats are allowed there!!1!" thing is so funny like. tim LITERALLY lives in the theater where bruce's parents died,

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

.

[lecliss]

I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.

[ganondoodle]

couldnt fall asleep for at least 2 full hours bc i kept thinking about it, so ... more (i hope this is the last time)

what was the point of adding isha? no i mean it! i started to like her in act 2 bc i liked mute characters and her with vanderwick where pretty cute.. those episodes are still my favorite, but shes so?? she gets dropped into jinxs lap quite literally (WHY where cross's goons (the chembaron) even chasing her?? i thought thered be some reveal or soemthign or backstory idk but no she just came out of nowhere and got chased for no reason other than to end up falling on jinx and seeing her shoot the goons) and then is given some cutesy time with em only to die horribly for literally nothing except make jinx .... suicidal ... which SHE ALREADY WAS, the entire vi and jinx fight scene at the start of the season is about her wanting vi to kill her- using isha like that is such a waste and so cheap, it served no purpose other than to give jinx and the viewer i guess the hope that things could be better even after everything only to rip it all away again and make it all even worse, but it already was so bad that it falls incredibly flat, and aside from jinx being worse than ever mentally no one seems to really mind? (ALSO feels slimy bc she was mute, mute kid chaarcter only gets used as a cheap way to make mentally unwell character even more mentally unwell)

magma vanderwick ... how ... what was that then? i thought it was either singed who was left alone in the greenhouse with vanderwick using that serum on him that supposedly .. does something to prevent viktor from bringing vanders mind fully back (no other information on that?) or it was viktor 'dying' that made all other cult people flop over and get taken/into stasis, and bc vanderwick was such a strange creature it took vander or part of him but not the beast- but then in act 3 ..... singed uses that serum THERE, so it wasnt him doing anything and him standing ominously in the broken greenhouse was jsut to .. show singed was still alive bc that fucker cant ever die- AND when stupid viktor turns people into fugly robots (im pretty sure, unless im mixing up what mind erased him) you see his memories being burned, so hollowed out .. which means that he was still himself? so it wasnt that viktors 'death' erased vander and left the beast bc it was still both at that point .... what the fuck was up with him then at the end of act2??? why did he go all volcano??

AND then at the end with the weird vi getting emotional over fugly robo vanderwick scene the beast i guess is STILL there .. but when you get turned like that you just turn into a robot and your mind ceases to exist, he already had vander erased, but then gets taken and turned robo so the beast should be gone too?? no`??? even if i remember it wrong and it was viktor who mind erased just vander- again problem as before, why did he go volcano then?? AND why did he slump over dead eyed after it? shouldnt the beast take over immediately when vanders gone??

....did jinx even interact at all with sevika after the scene in stillwater?? i dont think so, what a joke honestly, sevika was pretty much part of the team, then she gets isha out and then next time its jinx isha and vi going to search for vanderwick, the fuck has she been doing until the last episode where she doesnt say or really do a single thing???

im sorry lesbians but that sex scene was rather missplaced, not agaisnt it in general but the timing?? (any sex scene there at that time would be missplaced imo) jinx pretty clearly told vi that she will kill herself "you wont have to worry about me anymore" "im breaking the cycle" HELLO??? and while we dont know how long it took for cait to find vi down there (whereever that prison even is? not stillwater thats for sure) shouldnt vi burst out the prison and go chase after jinx the second she was freed???? i get she says soemthign like losing hope of getting through to her BUT JINX IS GOING TO KILL HERSELF?????????? and then cait and vi make out and fuck in the LITERAL SAME CELL THAT JINX WAS JSUT IN?????????? and even after that doesnt go to check on her?? you CANNOT tell me vi just gave up on her and accepted she killed herself like that

ALSO did no one know what signed was doing with vanderwick (who was still alive .. so isha kinda died uselessly, if he died then as well at least it would mess up the plan .. the stupid plan, i hate viktor cocoon hivemind shit)? they had to get vi out of there so ?? and vi also didnt like .. check if idk vanderwick was really fully dead or just go there again? even if it was secured or soemthign i dont remember her askign anything about him just jinx ... bc there she still cared at least a little bit about her i guess

jayce ... why did act2 make him out to be all mad and like he was given a mission by ekko and heimer (bc he says "i wont fail them" THEM) but then its revealed it was old future viktor who send him back/gave him the mission- ALSO why was he so extreme and mad in act2 when .. yes in act 3 you see him go through that torture in the cavern but when he climbs up hes relatively calm and collected and ignores the weird crawly monsters and has a somewhat normal conversation with old viktor .. and then he returns and is suddendly all mad and going after present viktor- WHICH ONLY MAKES IT SO IT ENDS UP LIKE THE STUPID TIMELOOP??? did i miss something or does that makes no sense?? the only reason it not ending up like that being ekkos intervention- but jayce before that seems to just .. do all that like he wants it to end like in the loop .. i thought he was trying to stop it .. what was the point?

did no one question where the heck salo went? even if he fell from grace .. it feels weird to put him to viktor, make it clear on him how viktor isnt just healing people but taking their minds bc that wasnt salo anymore and no one seems to care?

kinda similar with mel bc her being taken only really matters to ambessa (and when they reunite i expected ambessa to break tbh ...) and one comment from salo and anyone else? who cares? wasnt she in charge? i mean yeah cait took over in a sense but it still feels weird; plus on the whole mel business .. she went from big important power figure of the enterity of piltover to uh .. mage lady in black body suit so quickly? political power figure to weeee blasting vaguely gold magic stuff all over yippiiiie (but in general all political stuff just went out the window with those last episodes)

i said before how i didnt like the whole getting put into other dimension bs with ekko even if the setting was somewhat neat, but similar how weird jayces end speech to viktor felt idk .. ekko having to see, interact and .. make out with a jinx/powder that was 'normal' to see that jinx in his time still had value felt slimy to me also he conveniently gets put right there when jinx is about to kill herself (bc neither sevika nor VI went after her??or did he find her? when did he show up again? idk tbh?) and then uses the z-drive just to try and say the right thing to not make her do it and at the end to through it in viktors face ....................... and jinx showing up at the end barely changes anythign except give her another outfit/look and put her up there in order to do her 'sacrifice' .............idk it all felt so cheap

also maddie evil reveal was so .... was that really needed, like that especially? just so ambessa can tell caitlyn 'told you lol' ?

caitlyn knowing that jinx isnt gone and keeping it a secret is played as if thats a cool thing bc jinx isnt dead yippiiee but to me it makes it even worse (aside from the whole 'our story isnt over' bleurgh ouch eughgnen line of teasing more bc big corpo likes to leaves things open in case they make more expensives shows to serve nothing but the world most overblown champion and skin trailers and in case they dont well who cares) bc its just so ... slimy, am i supposed to see it as a happy end or win for vi bc she gets to be with caitlyn?? bc that is more important than her SISTER THE RELATIONSHIP TO WHICH THE ENTIRE SHOW WAS BUILT AROUND?????? adding the trope i hate 'group of people splitting up at the end bc thats clearly the best for them' FUCK THAT! Vi should have joined jinx and sevika (add isha and non robo vanderwick best case scenario, also ekko and they all get cool jinx outfits and everything, let jinx be a hero instead of a lil crazy footnote in viktors god complex) and get caitlyn on her side to fight piltover to free zaun (maybe with ambessa taking over piltover, mel returning and joining the forces of zaun forcing her to fight her even though it breaks ambessa bc she cares too much about mel or soemthing and jayce and viktor can battle it out gay boi style somewhere else or later interupting the main revolution fight idk im jsut yelling but this whole viktor god thing and robo war and whatever really went so off the rails and out of propoertion i hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh also vanderwick should get to kill singed)

..........and the line of Vi calling herself the dirt under caitlyns fingernails? ... what a line to end this stupid episode with, what a line, a zaunite calling herself dirt under her noble piltover lovers fingernails

(so ... in the end ... what was 'the arcane'? its not the void? its not jsut magic? its something fucked they created when trying to create magic but ... what was it? what where those creepy crawling things? why does it work like that? taking peoples minds? healing their bodies with metal parts but also hiveminding them? what was the hexcore in the end? what the hell was all that? where did the crystals even come from? skarners lore got erased so not there? did i just forget that? and also mages exist but also seem like a very unknown thing in the show? and then mel just is that? and the black rose? like??? what was the point??? it all just feels so pointless? what was this all for? a cheeasy happy ending where they fuck with time more to fix it all would have been satisfying to me than this ... this nothing)

okay i do have to do a mini (i call it mini now.. this is just letting my feelings about it out, so its spelled agressively bc im just so .. frustrated ... also not hate to the studio or the people working on it .. obviously >_>) rant about arcane-

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR ARCANE SEASON 2

its the most beautiful show ever produced, i mean it, its style, fortiche's (the studio) style, is just .... impossibly pretty, 3d and 2d, the animation is just so GOOD, the designs largely (like 95%) are too, the acting and sound design, the voice acting (at least the english one) is so emotional and good, the show in general is just good ... until the last episode

i have my own problems with riot declaring arcane the new canon out of nowhere and for no good reason since it was, im very sure, never conceived to be that, its a reinterpreation and works best as such, now literally everything is once again completely messed up, no one knows whats real and what isnt, no champion or story is safe, especially with the weird hexcore bullshit potentially erasing the VOID (whish is like ... half on which the canon was built on tbh) AND hextech- multiple champions being impossible to exist now .... but thats not what i wanted to talk about

i was pretty on board with everything the show did, though i wasnt a big fan of the whole hexcore stuff, but it all spiraled so far out of control, it just kept making everything worse, also with bringing in the black rose and leblanc, it kept piling stuff onto the plate despite them already compressing everything so drastically; espeically regarding viktor, but i kept my hope up even after season 2s act 2 bc it still seemed 'fixable', though not easily so

what i liked about it (in its writing) despite its pacing issues was that it was rather .. self contained for the longest time, focused on the characters and the class struggle of piltover and zaun, and doing so rather well imo, like it did and said things i did not expect riot to let through

i was worried with the alternate universe stuff that came with the escalating hexcore bullshit but held onto hope even until episode 8 and then ...man .. the last episode ... the fuck was that- like i hate timetravel and multiverses and whatever but the thing with ekko was done rather neatly ... they made all those chaarcter models and sets just for that short stuff and really .. was of little use other than getting heimerdinger out of the picture as well lmao maybe he will get his own series to advertise for 200 dollar skins in league hahaaaa but i guess the main point was to give ekko the z-drive ... which feels alot like what i feared about them forcing it to comply with the characters in game ,,,, even though that wasnt for everyone like warwick was done SO dirty after giving me hope in act two

everythings focused on the hexcore/arcane shit, theres the black rose shit (honestly i think it was a mistake bringing them in too bc .. noxus is its entire own region with so many champs and story itself that got connected via ambessa .. which was a new character the show made up until they made her a champ now .. its just too much to put into this one show already going at a breakneck pace), mel doing her bit with them then bam she mage now which felt like a champion teaser more than an organic part of the story, especialyl with how hard it got pushed later (poor little riots gotta sell more game cosmetics uwu), jayce just taking over control again and everyone going with it, singed reviving stupid version victor via using vander/warwick WHO WAS STILL ALIVE AFTER ISHA BLEW HERSELF UP TO STOP HIM FROM KILLING EVERYONE (which was ALREADY pretty cheap, but i guess jinx had to be even more suicidal than she already was heehoo), dont even ask me HOW, viktor was just whoops from corpse to im a cocoon now, ambessa being so obsessed with it, the entire class struggle being """"solved"""" by piltover and zaun fighting stupid viktors weird ass robot shitheads together and then acting like giving sevika a seat at the council is the solution to it, half the cast just dying horribly for honestly no reason?? ORIANNA being now i guess some weird viktor robot but without the mindcontrol part and singed just kinda ... winning i guess by giving her cocoon some goo of stupid viktors cocoon

it just all ... turning from this so drama, character and class struggle thing into weird ass dimension hopping magical world war that all gets solved bc we fought together once uwu AND it being a fucking timeloop WITHIN what ONE episode? and that being the ENDING (i know i know the hexcore bs was building up throughout the show but it still felt so .. unearned and sudden ... )

also i got personal gripes with the 'ending' bc .. was it REALLY an ending like they kept saying?? was it?? viktor, jayce, heimerdinger, jinx are just disappeared i guess, mel going back to noxus- the fucking 'our story isnt over' tease???? the last minute appearance of swains fucking raven???? pecking at something blue and shining like idk a hex crystal??? SHUT UP i dont want more to come, this story should have had its self containing ending, not this open ended bullshit that just reeks of corporate meddling bc they want their game to connect to their popular show as much as possible now so we gotta bring in as many teases and connections to other champions YIPPIEEEEE (yelling)

also if jinx is dead, wow, what a way to end her story, the traumatized suicidal character being tortured and tortured especially after seemingly having something good for once (i liked act 2 except for its ending the most bc ... man jinx was so enjoyable there, i loved her dynamic with vi and isha and half wolf vander warwick with the beast and man struggle i love alot, that part was genuinely beautiful, i wasnt a fan of the idea of idk ekko doing time stuff and them having a happy ending bc i just dont like going back in time to fix everything kinda stuff, but i would have much much prefered that, not changing the existing story into the perfect world where everythings happy (though i liked that part ... vander silco being gay husbands like that is just so goood) but to fix what is fixable in the present- them still having gone through alot but being able to live with it, so act 2 setup was honestly my favorite way to not invalidate everything and still have something happy .... but no we gotta kill the kid to make jinx even worse and vander/warwick too while we are at it

if shes not dead (given you see a blimp(?) flying away and her scribbles showing up and caitlyn looking at the blueprints of the hexgates) then ... ??? oh yeah lets make her leave zaun and just idk go be the main character in noxus or soemthing for the next show they are gonna do bc jinx is popular so putting her everywhere is a good idea!!!1!!11

ALSO since vander/warwick is my favorite .. i thought maybe after isha doing that, if they dont reverse it, hed get taken by singed again or ran away and turned fully werewolf like he is in the game (though i would have liked if they were able to be a weird family like in act2)- but no he just gets used as fuel for stupid viktor cocoon and then mind erased and made into the ugliest weird robot thing that looks more like galio than him JUST and i feel like it really is JUST to have Vi at the end do the scene that gets jinx 'killed' .. to lead into the 'more to come' teaser.. idk about you but that scene felt so .. forced, the typical oh no platform is slowly falling down but Vi suddendly gets emotional about weird ugly robot warwick (who conveniently comes back to life as ugly robot beast since his human mind got erased but not the beast??? i guess???) and completely ignores jinx yelling at her to get to safety, it felt so WEIRD to me (if you gotta do him like that at least let Vi listen to jinx, them embracing and then watchign emotionally as robo vanderwick falls into the hexgate thing .. that was still active somehow i guess??)

(poor viktor got done so dirty too .. i liked him .. until it all went weird wit hthe hexcore stuff ....... ..... also jayce weird speech to him .. why the FUCK did you not do that back in the cult camp instead of blasting him to bits, i get it he was fucked up from seeing the future, but then later hes just ... okay???? pretty fine all things considered??? and pretty aware of everything?? also his weird speech being all like vitkor actually you were perfect in your imperfection BITCH HE WAS SLOWLY DYING AN AGONIZING DEATH???? idk ??? it all feels so weird to me, like there episodes literally missing- ambessa dying also felt so unnecessary .. just so mel can take her place and go to noxus and have more shows maybe- )

i just .... and just like how i cant enjoy botw anymore after them fucking it all up with totk ... i dont know if i will rewatch arcane knowing it ends like that, what was that for, the most beautiful show ever made just to do a game of thrones ending in a single episode?

im so tired of it all ..... im so tired of being disappointed and feeling let down over and over no matter with how little expectations i go in with

this willl be the only arcane rant unless theres some .. big stupid reveal that gets me more frustrated than i am now, which i hope there isnt .. im tired of being and feeling like this .. i just want to enjoy things, everythings going to shit IRL and i cant even find something enjoyable to watch

[quietwingsinthesky]

Have you ever played/watched a playthrough of the game 12 Minutes? I think you'd like one of the reveals in it.

I did watch a full playthrough a while back. Unfortunately for this recommendation, I thought it was <3 stupid <3 No offense to anyone who likes it, I just thought the design of the loop in the first place was a bit clunky, the characters were sort of eh, and then the reveals themselves were, as I remember and as they played out on whatever stream I was watching, just kind of bad? A poorly put together story surrounded by poorly put together gameplay, but. like. willem dafoe was there 👍

[neo-shitty]

finally catching up with bsd after one hell of a month (+ midterms) 🫠

[plan-bliz]

The thing about suddenly taking a modern fnaf anthro au seriously is that i have to figure out how everyone is related lmao

Bc just for the bit i made each species related to each other biologically (all the bears are related, the rabbits are related, the chickens & foxes yadda yadda...) but ALSO i wanna keep the GROUPS together too (classics all know each other, rockstars all know each other, nightmares all know each other...)

Its just. Kinda weird to figure out sometimes because holy SHIT it really would be a small world

[rosesradio]

i think my university fucking bit me wtf

[shidoukanae]

I would like to make an addendum to this piece with the new chapter out and say that I was wrong about Phillip, he's great, 10/10 he went from being a giant red flag of a character to being genuinely relatable and man do i feel bad about side-eyeing him for that line he said last chapter

Also this chapter finally wrapped up another plot thread I was waiting for it to return to and waaaaaah seeing someone else's POV on Helene is so nice (and we finally got another flashback of OG Helene for like,, the first time in literally forever). Helene being called out as a lonely person who hides her kind feelings behind a cold expression...man suddenly my fondness for Helene is increasing thousandfold

Like literally how the fuck does this manga keep making Helene better and better there's literally nothing disappointing about her character and im STILL shook about it