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heavyarethecrowns · 3 years ago

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Kate Middleton: Prince William’s Decade-Long Mistake - Oct 2010

Who is Kate Middleton? After nearly 10 years of seeing Kate’s recorded behavior, this is my impression: Kate Middleton doesn’t care about any causes, charities or anything outside of living for pleasure. I doubt her ability to handle royal responsibilities – beyond dealing with privileges and paparazzi – because in the ten years the world has watched her, she hasn’t demonstrated she can take on anything but a royal c*ck and a jolly good time. While true, she isn’t married to William and isn’t in fact a royal (and may never be, for all we know), her perseverance implies she’s in it for the long haul and plans to become the Princess of Wales. As such, she should have taken these years to demonstrate to the world that, although she’s a common-bred, middle-class girl, she’s an exceptional lady who rises above the rest. But Kate has failed profoundly in that respect. The last thing the women of the public should be thinking when they see William’s marital choice is, “What on earth makes her so special? I could have done that/been in her place – and done it better! -Maybe I should have gone to St. Andrews!” But that’s what women, including myself, are lead to think of her. Coming from her background, as a common, everyday girl, it shows her complete lack of humility, and is borderline arrogant, for her to assume she can live like a spoiled brat who doesn’t need to prove herself. She enjoys a privileged life that she wasn’t born into – and for the life of many, we can’t understand why. Why was she chosen? Why not someone else? Why not a woman the vast majority can respect and admire? Let’s be honest here: William can have nearly anyone he wants – and he’s settling for this average circus monkey?

At first glance, Kate seemed like a well kept, nicely mannered woman – and well-suited for a royal position. In the first few years of her royal relationship, she shone as an attractive, educated, beautifully fashioned, friendly, and conservatively-behaved young lady. But that was then. Now, upon looking back at Kate’s near-decade as an unofficial princess-in-waiting, her behavior reveals her as a underwhelming choice for the monarchy. She’s demonstrated that she’s far from exceptional, and that aside from her pursuit of a crown, she’s a disappointing, arrogant underachiever of little substance.

Ambitious In All The Wrong Ways:

Those who know Kate often describe her as ambitious; and in the beginning, that’s the side of her the public got to see. Kate worked hard on her academics so she could attend the prestigious St. Andrews University, where William was also set to attend. While there, she met William and completed the same degree as him, in Art History. Following their graduations, William began the demanding military career he still pursues today. However, surprisingly, the once ambitious-seeming Kate did nothing: She remained jobless for nearly two years, living off of her parents (and William, I’m sure). Kate finally got a part-time job as an accessories buyer at the fashion chain, Jigsaw, but quit after only 11 months. Notably, rumors suggest Kate only got the job to passify Her Majesty, The Queen, who took notice that her grandson’s significant-other was a lazy freeloader. After that, she worked for her parent’s internet business, Party Pieces (which to many read like an unemployment cover-up). Apparently, Kate made updates to their website and took photos for it. That sounds pathetic and hardly full-time. Not to mention, Kate’s monthly getaways to exotic locations with William attest that her parents gave her an overwhelming amount of time off whenever she wanted it. That’s hardly a real job. And if that’s not disappointing enough, Kate quit the job all together in October of 2009 and has officially been doing nothing but shacking up with William while he pursues his career ever since. I’m sorry Katie dear, but for any 28 year old – especially a potential Queen of England – that’s absolutely not good enough.

There are several obvious problems with the reality of Kate’s ambitions (or lack thereof). She was ambitious about her education, but clearly didn’t want or need it for a career – So, what was she even at St. Andrews for, and why was she ambitious about getting there? She graduated from a top notch university, only to settle for unemployment and a job her parents provided? Logically, it’s mismatching for someone to aggressively pursue a top-tier education only to fall flat as a lazy, career-underachiever immediately and permanently thereafter. The fact that Kate did just that leads me, and countless others to believe she was only academically driven so she could put herself in William’s way and try to form a relationship with him. Also telling are the numerous reports by those close to Kate’s mother that Mrs. Middleton pushed her daughter’s attendance to St. Andrews in hopes of her becoming royalty.

Kate: The Attention-Loving Wild Child

When Kate’s not working – and that’s most of the time – she goes shopping, attends leisurely sporting and social events, and parties ’till her heart’s content in Britain’s most luxurious night spots (Paris Hilton style – ick). The photos of her nightlife are less than flattering – actually, they’re flat out embarrassing – especially for the potential next Princess and Queen of Wales. She often looks extremely intoxicated, and her attire and car-exiting-techniques have granted the paparazzi dozens of “crotch shots”.

[picapp align=”none” wrap=”false” link=”term=kate+middleton&iid=756945″ src=”http://view3.picapp.com/pictures.photo/image/756945/kate-middleton-birthday/kate-middleton-birthday.jpg?size=500&imageId=756945″ width=”234″ height=”151″ /] Kate characteristically grinning as she’s hounded by the paparazzi

Any other 28 year old woman would be focused on a career or starting a family – or both; But Kate just parties like she’s some rich 19 year old without any responsibilities. In fact, she’s only too happy to show that side of herself to the paparazzi – and the world. Her parents and William (taxpayer dollars) have financially supported her throughout her twenties – extravagant vacations included – and Kate’s habitual ear-to-ear smile indicates she’s loved every minute of it. As long as she’s attached to William, she doesn’t have a care in the world that other (common) women like her have – aside from her image, and she’s let that fall to the wayside. From the bright red coat she wore to William’s military graduation to the never-failing smile she wears for the paparazzi, Kate’s self-presentation says she loves being a celebrity and all eyes being on her. Unfortunately, Britain needs a princess who naturally exudes a respectable image when she provokes the world to look.

William’s Mistake – William’s Responsibility

I understand William’s need to pick a lady who’ll roll with the punches, deal well with the crazy, public lifestyle (privacy invasion, etc.), and conform to suit the monarchy’s needs. Nevertheless, it’s his mistake in assuming those are the only criteria a future princess must meet. If there was a checklist for the “Qualities of the Most Ideal Future Princess of Wales”, Kate would scantily fulfill 20% of them:

Intelligence and Wit

Humility

Career ambition/self sufficiency

Physical beauty – (C’mon, princesses are supposed to be pretty! -Especially when the prince is popular enough to take his pick. Kate’s…just…okay…)

Noble/Aristocratic blood (if not this, then a woman who stands far above the crowd of other commoners)

Grace and Conservative femininity (that goes out the window when you’ve been banging the prince for a decade without a commitment – Oh, and the rumored accidental pregnancies (abortion fanatic if they’re true! *cough* TMI *cough*))

Charity and service for those in need (I volunteered like crazy in college, and I’m not anywhere near royal… Why didn’t Kate?! – And why hasn’t she since??)

Respectable and responsible image (yeah, umm, no)

Takes on royal responsibilities to earn royal privileges (Kate’s only got the acceptance of privileges part down…)

Aaaand the list goes on…

Of course, there’s the possibility that Kate’s the girl who’s a match for William’s heart. But I doubt it. Kate’s the girl with everything to lose if the relationship fails, and everything to gain if it succeeds – her greatest skill is that she’s willing/desperate enough to jump through all and any hoops, including waiting 10+ years for a proposal – and William knows it.

It may have been 10 years, but it’s not too late for William to turn around and make a better decision. Kate hasn’t been cheated – contrary to some’s beliefs. She’s lived a decade of fantasy and wonder beyond her wildest dreams, and has continually been treated to luxuries she doesn’t deserve. William owes it to himself, and his country to make a responsible choice about the future Princess of Wales. Yes, he needs to choose a woman he loves, but his privileges require sacrifices on his part, and that means choosing a bride that will be an honorable partner for the people’s sake too. If William was going to wait ’till his late 20s/early 30s to wed, he could have waited to meet a woman who’s getting a PhD, or who runs a charitable non-profit organization, for example. But no : Instead, he’s burdening his country with wishy-washy, Waity Katie.

It’s not about choosing a girl who loves being photographed or relishes living her fantasy of being a fashion icon – or even a real, live princess. It’s about choosing a self-sufficient woman who has something amazing to offer the country and the world: A role model, a charitable, caring person who views joining the monarchy as a responsibility, and an opportunity to serve the people – not just an entitlement to luxurious privileges. Right now, the latter is Kate Middleton; And I don’t foresee her entire irresponsible, pleasure-loving personality changing just because wedding vows are exchanged. What we’ve seen is what we’re going to get as Lady Di’s shoe-filler – if William decides to go through with it. One can only hope that won’t be the case.

#duke of cambridge #duchess of cambridge #prince william #kate middleton #proof #article

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ksmithhanke · 5 years ago

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finding my calling as a teacher and creating my own teaching philosophy

Beginnings

I grew up in a suburb of Washington, D.C. and went to a series of large public schools from K-12. My educational experience was competitive and cutthroat; I pulled more all-nighters junior year of high school than I did all throughout college. By the time I got to Swarthmore, I was burnt out and ready to reject the type of education that had gotten me there. I had always planned to major in biology, get through undergrad, and go to medical school where I would pursue a career in pediatric medicine. My burnout started to cloud my dreams of going to medical school as I imagined the years of competitive schooling I had in my future if I wanted to fulfill this dream. I chose Swarthmore in an attempt to break free of the type of academic competition that caused my burnout in the first place, so why was I about to commit myself to the same type of schooling I had come to hate? As my passion for medicine waned, I was left without the identity I had built for myself through my dedication to this idealized life plan. I was totally lost on where to go from there, I didn't even know how to go about rebuilding a new future.

In this moment, I found myself seeking the advice of Rachel Merz, a biology professor who I had previously confided in about my 10 year plan. She asked me to reflect on my favorite classes: the kinds of classes where you can't wait to do the readings, the ones where you find yourself raising your hand at every opportunity. I couldn't help but think about Intro to Education, which I had taken in the fall of freshman year. She asked me why I was so excited by that class, and I responded by talking about the experiences I had in my field placement and the connections I made with kids. It was at this point that I realized the common thread between my previous life goals and my favorite class: a commitment to children. The driving force behind wanting to go into pediatric medicine was the same force that would push me towards education. I realized I could still accomplish my goal of advocating for children and trying to address injustices in their care, but rather than doing it in the operating room I would do it in the classroom. With revitalized passionate for education, I was ready to jump in to accomplishing my new 10 year plan - becoming a teacher.

The Theory that Inspired Instruction

I was cautiously optimistic about my dream to teach at the beginning, but this cautious optimism was replaced by true excitement after taking Educational Psychology. Yamuchi, Wyatt & Carroll's piece about contextualized learning inspired me to think about the cultural context of my students and forced me to consider basing my teaching in real-world problems. Faber & Mazlish's book, entitled How To Talk so Kids Can Learn, begged me to consider the positive and negative connotations of the way we phrase things when talking to children. Engle and Conant introduced me to the idea of giving students "elements of ownership and choice" over their curricula, which gives them authority and a sense of agency within their learning environments. Reading these authors ignited my passion for creating a student directed learning environment where "children are probing into the working of the world and teachers are providing, demonstrating, learning, observing and responding," (Lindfors 1991).

It was at this moment that I knew the type of environment I wanted to teach in. Kids are naturally curious and love to be asked what they want to learn about, we just have to listen better. By asking students what they are interested in, not only are we giving them authority and increasing engagement by using natural curiosities to our advantage, but we are also listening to their thoughts and validating their questions. Through listening to their curiosities and showing them that we take their questions seriously, we are communicating that we respect them and value what they have to say. Creating a classroom environment where we respect and validate our students helps to build meaningful relationships and gives them a space where they feel heard. By ensuring we create a feeling of comfort and a sense of belonging in the classroom, we are supporting our students to engage more deeply with material and setting them up to succeed.

Reading about the Watershed classroom from Mark Springer and Ed Silcox's book to then experiencing it in person through my field placement gave me the privilege of seeing the power of this sort of learning environment firsthand. Researching the positive impacts of project based, integrated education on mental health solidified my commitment to this style of education even more. Hearing the teachers say things like "in here there are so many ways to be valuable… they have value in ways that aren't just their grades and test scores and that helps lessen the anxiety and stress and promotes community,” and “students aren’t a number, they're not data," about their classroom was crucial in my development as a teacher. Coming from my educational background, where students were literally just numbers in a ranked list, hearing this point of view from a teacher was a breath of fresh air. I knew this was the place I wanted to be, so I pursued a placement here for student teaching.

The Reality of Watershed and the Power of Relationships

When the bell rang on that first Monday morning and the kids came into the room, I felt an overwhelming sense of anxiety. Do I even know how to teach? Will they like me? What am I doing? These questions were ones I continued to ask myself (and my cooperating teachers) over the course of student teaching. During that first week, however, my fears of being a bad teacher were pushed to the side by a focus on relationship building. We spent hours playing team building games, learning about each other, establishing a connection that would set the stage for the rest of the semester. Leading activities like this was in my wheelhouse, but as we got to the end of the first week and started really diving into content, my worries about classroom management and being a responsive classroom leader came back. I spent days planning my first lesson, getting feedback from my cooperating teachers, thinking of every possible problem and what I would do in response. But as I stood in front of the kids for the first time, with 40 pairs of eyes on me waiting for me to say something, I realized that the many hours we spent on building relationships made the task of teaching a lesson easy. I wasn't talking to just any kids, I was talking to my kids. I knew what they liked, I knew their senses of humor, I knew what could get them engaged.

Building relationships didn't just help me understand them, but it helped them understand me as well. Because of our rapport, they trusted me to be honest with them and support them through tough projects and even tougher group dynamics. They felt comfortable communicating to me when something was confusing, when they needed more support, or even when they just needed a break from their group members. They were also able to give me feedback on my work just as I was giving them feedback on theirs. Having such a strong relationship with them put me in a position where I could learn from them about what it means to be a good teacher, and what I can do to support them as best I could. The lessons I learned from them about teaching were just as valuable as the theory I learned to get me there.

In addition to teaching the content, my cooperating teachers and I put a big emphasis on social/emotional learning. There were days when kids would seek me out because they were stressed about finishing a project on time, upset about uneven distribution of work in their group, or even just having a bad day. These kids gave me the privilege to work with them from their most vulnerable to their most brave. Watershed taught me the value of not emphasizing academic achievement as the only/most important kind of achievement. As teachers, we should be helping our students develop skills outside of traditional linguistic and logical intelligences. By emphasizing academic achievement as the most important type of achievement, we harm both students who achieve in ways outside of the traditional (through constant negative feedback on academic pursuits and lack of outlets for intelligences in which they excel) and students who achieve traditionally (by neglecting their social-emotional growth and cultivation of other intelligences). I have learned both from my cooperating teachers and from the model of integrated learning about the virtues of educating the whole child. By giving the arts a place in the classroom, we can "suggest new explanations of ways to achieve full individual and societal competence," (Heath and Roach 1999). "Schools worldwide must give children intellectual and practical tools they can bring to their classrooms, families, and communities," and if we only focus on academic achievement in school we are missing out on a whole "set of skills needed to successfully manage life tasks such as learning, forming relationships, communicating effectively, being sensitive to others’ needs, and getting along with others," (Elias 2006, pg. 5).

Considering the Future

Seeing the theory I spent years reading and writing about at work in student teaching leaves me with a commitment to the idea of teachers as learners, and students as teachers. This experience has taught me about the wealth of information that comes from relationships with students. The value of things learned through the cultivation of trust with students is remarkable. I end this experience with an understanding of the importance of validating student experiences and supporting them to take ownership over their educational trajectories. I am thankful for the essential role my students have played in my teacher education, and I will continue to be thankful for the opportunities I will have to learn and grow with each group of students that pass through my classroom. My identity as a teacher has been defined by my students, and I am thrilled to redefine this identity every year for as long as I have the privilege to teach.

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queenofallwitches · 5 years ago

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Venus trine MC, my MC lies in Saturn and Saturn is in 9th house Aquarius.

Saturn Return, and my Soul Journey into 12th house Sun conjunct Mercury (in Aries) bound by the 12th house Shadow Secrets. Jupiter is Leo and Mars is softened by my conjunct cancer moon, both in my 3rd house. The kicker is Chiron simultaneously sitting over in my wounded goddess divine feminine Luna moon compelling me to build a home, a base and a clan of like minded souls. cancer and Chiron sit together and Chiron is akin to the wounded healer. I have a complex but alchemical natal make up and its been 6 years of accepting the square and oppositions in difficult places to come to terms to work with my natal astrology in a way I can become creatively involved in.

23/3/20 initiated the formal induction of my Saturn return as saturn transited to Aquarius for the first time since 92/93.

It’s a taste of the full saturnine swing coming up after the December 21st astrology grand conjunction. Saturn will be in Aquarius up to July. before moving briefly back before that grand Conjunction with Pluto/Jupiter later in 21/12/2020. (activity period from 14 April 2020 until mid-July 2020) Venus trine MC

Yeah on a tangent but one day I will be thankful this was forged. I am will using my moonchild manifesto to track the astrology and transits for my own wounded healer journey. I don’t have the consistency of a computer to hoard things as I did before the big brother fascism came full formed this year and cannot freely trust anything can be stored. I will be putting things online purely to keep a record of what may soon be lost, unable to be accessed.

Plus I’m burning my journals after I take the photos of them and upload them for a ritualistic purpose.

It’s part of this creative alchemy and trauma soul retrival quest I’ve found myself on. I note this as my Saturn is returning home for my FIRST Saturn return. I have been formally initiated for the infamous, enigmatic Saturn return that marks the passage from “adolescence into adulthood”. (Funnily last time I heard a university lecture on neuroscience, the latest research noted recent findings that the brain of a fully, functional prefrontal cortex in adult brains don’t become fully formed until age 28-30. This first sparked excitement and also uncertainty about the privilege cast to the “teenage myth”. As kids brains are still developing when things like getting a driving cars, choosing a life career, alcohol privilege and making other major life changes at those critical developmental stages are still as risky when a 12-16 year old does it. So now psychology and neuroscience knows that the adult higher order thinking that marks the turn of a mature and civil adult come in the late 20s. Not the teens. So until after 25 a brain cannot be fully assessing its choices due to underdeveloped prefrontal higher order thought processes This was fascinating in the social science side of things where we look into social constructs of society and how teenager was a made up archetype for a post war period. I remember being in my early 20s at the time and my life was no longer a race as it had been made to be prior.the schools of the latest brain neuroscience confirm my impulsive nature could change before age 30. I was hopeful. Maybe I wasn’t a gifted genius who was highly sensitive and afflicted with the contrasting “ADHD or Attention Deficit Primaily Inattentive” which could only be “treated” (as far as I had experienced), via heavy duty schedule 8 drugs. The kind of medication that calmed me down but other people wound beg me to have. Meaning in the past people in my life around me were constantly trying to turn into their party high by taking advantage of my disdain for psychostimulants. But my love and need for money back in that time. Fuck fake friends I say. Taking advantage or dysregulated prefrontal cortex with or without all my labels was still, after all, a risky business, when it comes to juggling psychopharmacology and a myriad of labels that resulted in other medicines given to me that may or may not be accurate. No brain scan or confirmation has been given that my brain is anything aside from ADHD. So my academic quest in childhood was confounded due to this.I learnt a lot about my childhood and growing up with a long list of multiple mental illness diagnosis, and the medical pharmacology given to me for those things; was beyond measurable.

But my neurochemistry was tweaked ineffably by both psychiatric pills pushed on me from age 9 and for things I may not even need. The end result of what my social science teacher termed “social constructs akin to mental illness medical model DSM labels”. My self pursuit of understanding my own brain was a hard thing to understand in the sense that prior to hearing about this from the side of academic and professional training, I had spend 12 years in expensive and possibly more damaging than beneficial treatment for “mental illnesses”. My life was a focal point for the goal I set to help women with the “borderline stigma” after I had fixed my own borderline.

Clinical psychologist was my end game until I found the trauma truth sweeping me into a existential soul contusion merged with trauma after trauma therapy went into flooding memory. Academic research and the psychology and counseling journals I spent my spare time fine combing. For answers. For my why and how. By the time I found any sense of this it became a painful limbo of dancing with my demons, coping destructively and limbo between the underworld and the reality I found my body and mind entwined in.

Now it’s even more synonymous to my own Saturn return journey and how the Saturn return is the mark of adulthood. This can be a speculative musing I make now on celestial astrology and how it aligns to our inner psychological makeup. (The Jupiter return is age 12, puberty ; and the other inner planets all mark significant development milestones in growing up. I’ll go into that more in later blogs).

Astrology is a map of the soul, psychology makeup, can be so deep too. How does it measure up to statistics? Sun sign horoscope is nothing versus the natal chart and how it corresponds to planetary magick and Kabbalah. I have been seperate in my magick and academic work but it was always my will to merge these at one stage I could research it. But now the sands of time are shifting, and Aquarius Saturn is calling for novel innovation I never could convey due to academic being seperate as spiritual, magickal practice is something I was careful to keep silence on when working with clients, peers and mentors, forget telling my psychologists or doctors who wound dismiss any test as “bipolar mania”. I remember once I read “the difference between the mystic and the mad man is the mystic knows who NOT TO TELL.

Now it’s my time to informally but officially start logging my journey into my own healing, soul mapping, I call it cognitive alchemy, gnostic psychology, soul psychology, metagnosis.. I’ve had many a name for the potential inspiration from my true will calling. But I can now forget about the archaic bonds from the academic world I was schooled to excel in by confirming. I am also a high iq gifted kid and having been labelled gifted but “adhd” simultaneously while having traumatic events left right and center is a mix of confusion for me. Teachers classed adhd as a learning disability, my in attention confused with inability to listen to simple tasks. This meant my mind never adapted to that school conditioning but my education was still installed due to the private school system somehow making my alters succeed without effort. Most of my spare time as a kid that wasn’t dissociative was reading books. By me processing my own literature in my spare time, I knew so much random stuff but hid it in order to seem dumb bc that was accepted. But in private in encyclopaedias and non fictional library quests I’d devour books. for my 10 maximum haul of borrowing books. This was a routine my mum and I went to do each week but my reading speed was beyond anything known, as I read and synthesised up to 10 books mostly in one day, from age 6 onwards.

I also stole books and hid my reading habits at school due to a deep shame of not being liked due to reading being for losers without friends, as girls bullied me over my gifted weird quirks. I was pretty but saw my self as ugly for trauma will deprive the mind of seeing it’s own true perception. I was never understood how my looks became a thing used against me by girls who were jealous until I learnt about this myself. I recently accepted and remembered this all after 3 years of integrated healing. I was doing this all on my own. the spiritual and metaphysical work is my primary tool that was keeping me here. Actually saving my suicide program from self destruct after the March 2017 incident I shall not talk about now. But I’m here now, alive, kicking, Saturn here to shove my shadow to consciousness without prompt and this change can bring me into a 30 year blueprint of setting things right.

Now in order to build a solid and functional framework and foundational life. I have a litany of secrets I need to get off my chest. I think to share my growth, my thoughts and my experiences for my own liberation of my deep dark secrets finally free to be released into the public domain.

I have no choice but to share this.

I do this co consciously as a part of my integrative process.

Maybe One day it might be a guide for someone who was as alone as I feel doing all of this self work without support. Maybe it will fade into the cyber void forever. Maybe I’ll use this as a tool to help clients in the future. Whatever this is means nothing but what the process of alchemy can do to forge my liberation from soul loss and traumatic dissociative trauma.

As a therapist I always wanted to avoid what I went through growing up. Now more so. I never want another lost dissociative mental health client who was also stuck between professional and academic pursuits being my “purpose” and having to sacrifice career and my study and research to sit in my shadow to see the shit.

In order to break the shit therapist mould I list journey through my own shit first. This meant I needed to be away from all therapy both as a client and practitioner and student for awhile. I’ve been off since the end of 2017 and now it’s clear it was neeed, how do I heal without healing my own shit first? Am I not the finest example of how bad therapists can get away with their bullshit and be paid for it but never really know who they are. I’m never doing that. I never was about that. So due to therapeutic negligence. I am finding my gift was the lesson. Those a shitty therapist who are a dime a dozen were the anti mentors I saw too often: but my purpose was to be a therapist. But a therapist who did things the way I never had.

Never did I want another to go into the heavy weight of shame from the secrets of sexual wounds, childhood schemas, mixed up and messed up conditioning made to seem functional to outsiders. But that was all alters. Now it was a spiritual journey as magick and my mystical path entwines to save my soul. The self awakening, trauma revelations, merging with the dark night of soul, and the shadow work. Plus everything else coming out is not a journey I can say is or was at all easy, I suffer more now as a co conscious intergrating my trauma. I feel it all without the dissociative switch to save me from witnessing all the shit. Now I see my entire life and it’s fucked up raw and grim reality and I have to do something because I survived it this far? Again I never suicided or stopped into self destruction when I knew my own inner child’s wounds were no longer blacked out but burning bright longing for love. Symptoms for survival and the survival was part of the dissociative switching making my outside self seem so functional, but never seen. It’s not something they needed to drug me for, but it’s another thing I have to address now. My symptoms they drugged with medications that were mind altering and powerful for anyone let alone a developing child’s brain, were suppressed by many meds. Who knows where that ends and the damage via trauma and other things begin? It’s a mess of some thing I was never aware of but always trying to silence due to the need for people to accept me. But that was many mes all living a life that appeased many people, but not for me. Here we are.

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natshorses · 5 years ago

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Here’s where we are, I’m giving up riding.

Over the last week, I have lost jobs that make up 1/2 my income. This includes barn work, and riding horses. I am injured, and managing to do my work is extremely exhausting and difficult, but I am still at the barn, working, 6 days a week. I narrowly avoided needing surgery on my finger. I owe money everywhere, and can just barely manage to comfortably afford my horse until he sells. But for how long? I simply cannot find more work between the doctors visits and my injury which inables me to work anymore than I do. I lie to my doctors, telling them I’m not working. But I can’t afford not to.

Riding isn’t fun anymore. There’s no encouragement. No sense of accomplishment. The people I look to for honesty and support don’t give it. At home I’m criticized, berated about when I’ll finally just give up. It’s just a hobby, not a job. Im always told I don’t do enough. People talk behind my back and say I have a bad attitude.

‘Just be positive! It starts with you!’ It’s a load of shit. It took me a month of daily messages explaining I work with ONE hand before the barns would help me. There’s no bank of mom and dad. There’s no inheritance hiding somewhere. I’m surrounded by rich people who will never know what it’s like to go to the food bank. To have three people in a 2 bedroom apartment, a 1.5/2 hours commute ON THE BUS to and from the barn. I go in snow storms. On foot, while most don’t bother showing up at all. I am ALWAYS there.

I work very hard. But let me tell you, that’s not enough. It’s not enough to work with broken bones, no one will be grateful. It’s not enough that you want to be a part of the sport so badly. That’s it’s all you’ve ever wanted. It doesn’t matter how big your dreams are. People don’t care. And I hate them for it.

I feel taken advantage of. I have been told there’s no way I can do what I want cause I wasn’t blessed with money. How can you say that to a young person? Who works so hard just to have the chance to try? I have been talked down to by people I’m supposed to admire. People who’s only advice is to work harder. How much harder do you think I can take? I have chronic pain, broken bones that were never set properly, chronic nerve pain (which hurts like hell btw). I’ve developed anxiety, panic attacks, and self doubt. I NEVER had self doubt. I had a dream and I believed in that dream. It’s gone now.

I don’t know what I’m going to do. Presently I’m fucked. I have no expendable income, just enough for bills. I still want to go to Spain and find my dream horse in hopes maybe I can still love horses somehow. But I don’t see how I can still pursue this sport when this sport doesn’t want me. I have nothing at my disposal. I can’t go to school cause I flunked out last time, and I’m not strong academically at the college level. I developed terrible anxiety at college, and I simply am unable to do it.

I am tired. There is no fight left in me, and it’s scary. I was always the fighter, unafraid in pursuit of my passions. But now I’ve been beaten, and it’s time to just give in. Just succumb to reality and regroup I guess. Cause I can’t figure out how to successfully pursue horses as a career. No one wants me. No one supports me. No one helps me, they Just tell me to figure it out.

If you’ve read this just know I do tend to read others heart dumps as well, so thanks.

I NEVER pictured myself as one of the horse people who quit. But I don’t see another option.

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erraticprojectjunkie · 7 years ago

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The Gilmore Project: "The Lorelais' First Day at Chilton"

The Project: The Gilmore Project is an experiment in composition form. As a huge fan of the show Gilmore Girls, I have watched and rewatched the episodes several times over. During my last full viewing in early 2018, I noticed myself watching the show differently than I had in the past and realized that there was a lot of personal reflection being stimulated by the events of the show as well as the music and cultural references. As a result, I decided to start a journey in blog form...exploring each episode and how it resonated with me personally. Disclaimer: If you have not watched Gilmore Girls but plan to, you'll want to watch each episode before reading these posts. There will 100% of the time be spoilers. I'd be doing this wrong if there weren't. That's the nature of the beast. The Episode: Rory: So, why are you insisting on doing this?Lorelai:Well, because you’re starting private school tomorrow.Rory:Yes, but I’m going to be wearing shoes. Nobody’s going to see my feet.Lorelai: Okay, but everybody knows that private school girls are bad, and bad girls always wear red nail polish. It's Rory's first day at fancy private school Chilton and Lorelai wakes up late due to a malfunctioning fuzzy alarm clock (yes, fuzzy). This results in her inability to make it to the dry cleaner before dropping Rory at school and ultimately puts her in the situation of meeting the headmaster while wearing a pink tie-dye shirt, denim cutoffs, and cowboy boots. And of course her mother, Emily, is also there...because, why not? The day's awkwardness continues for both Gilmore girls as Lorelai faces off multiple times against Emily, who is consistently trying to "help" with getting things for Rory for school. Meanwhile, Rory's transition to her new school is not going very smoothly. She is given a disheartening speech from the headmaster, is met with hostility from highly competitive classmate Paris, and faces a day full of annoying advances and being repeatedly referred to as "Mary" (as in the virgin) by flirtatious Tristan. The Lorelai Angle: There wasn't a lot for me in this episode from the Lorelai perspective. Sure...we've all had crap days where we wake up late, can't find the right thing to wear, or the day just seems to be full of speed bumps. But...there wasn't much I connected to from a specific issue. This is bound to happen from time to time. The Rory Angle: It was the Rory storyline that clicked with me this time around. Ah...high school. I think for a majority of people high school just...well...sucked. It's not something that most would care to repeat (though trading adult responsibilities for teenage ones could sometimes seem appealing). It's kind of a rite of passage. On this initial exposure to Chilton, Rory has run ins with Paris (who begins to set herself up as something of a nemesis from this very first day) and Tristan (an incredibly annoying bad boy Lothario). I don't have experiences that line up exactly with hers, but I can definitely say that high school was no picnic for me. I, for the most part, kept my nose in a book. I was sometimes ridiculed for this (though bullying was certainly a bit less forthright than it seems to be these days and my teasing or hazing experience was comparatively minimal). I enjoyed learning, but I didn't enjoy the cliques or the feeling of being on the outside. Despite this, I can readily say that I wouldn't likely change anything about how I approached high school itself if given the chance for a do over. There are some minor choices here and there that likely would change, but I wouldn't suddenly go from wallflower to social butterfly. It's just not my style. The big, fiery moment of the episode for me was earlier on. Rory's day at Chilton begins in Headmaster Charleston's office, where he spouts a litany of warnings about how difficult Rory's transition will likely be. He focuses on everything terribly negatively and even has the gall to state that Rory will likely fail. I sincerely hate educators who have such a pessimistic way of approaching students. Not only is a situation a bit of a hot topic for me, I can see it from both the Lorelai and the Rory perspectives. First...let's discuss the Rory side. When I returned to college a few years ago, I had an accounting professor who seriously discouraged me. I had been considering the field of accounting since I was in my first few years of undergraduate education...nearly twenty years prior. The professor did nothing but make the entire class feel stupid and worthless with his constant disparaging comments and the fact that he acted surprised (and sometimes overtly disappointed) that we couldn't all understand the concepts within the quick few minutes he introduced it. As a result, my grade in that class reflected how much I was doubting myself and I lost the interest I had in a subject that had considered for a career path for nearly two decades. I think it's incredibly important, as an educator, to be a good one. Teachers should lift up and encourage their students, not destroy their loves and dreams. I can also understand this situation from the perspective of a parent. It most strongly resonates me in terms of how Darian (my now 15-year-old stepson) has been faced with a difficult instructor. I’ve been repeatedly angry at his approach to his students. He doesn’t seem to understand how much they have going on in their lives, nor what their priorities shouldbe. The class in question is an elective and yet this teacher seems to think that his students' time should be 100% focused on this sole class. It's not a realistic expectation at any level of education, but these impressionable teenagers especially should not be faced with such excessive pressure. Don't get me wrong, I don't expect instructors to coddle their students. I'm all for making sure that students are being responsible and devoting ample attention to their studies, but one elective course can't require such a focus. This instructor expects that his course is important enough to be superseding all other academic pursuits while simultaneously forgetting that these childrenalso have to balance time with their families and (sometimes) jobs...oh and maintaining a bit of a semblance of childhood. As with my experience, the result of this constant pressure and his teacher's unrealistic expectations has been that Darian has lost his love for this particular elective...something that honestly pains me to see as he has a great amount of talent in the field. It's frustrating, but I can understand Darian's feelings (though I hate to see him give up a skill that he shines in) there's no sense in convincing him to continue to pursue it under the current circumstances. Back to the Lorelais...Charleston’s words are cruel and unnecessary. He knocks Rory down before she is even given the chance to start. Why start a child off with such a bad taste in their mouth? Why give them such a negative outlook on their possibilities and their capabilities before even getting to know who they are? There is a time and a place to stress the responsibilities required of something challenging, but this was not it. He could have easily presented to her the reality that her transition could be difficult without being so discouraging. My anger seriously does not fade with repeated viewings. In fact, I simply find myself wishing to reach through the screen and slap him...or at least yell at him sternly. The Gilmore Project continues...This post originally appeared on Erratic Project Junkie and is copyrighted by Elle. Find EPJ on Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | Goodreads

#The Gilmore Project

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letsshaqirhussyin-blog · 7 years ago

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Shaqir Hussyin

Effective Home Tuition Service Academy

I do not know about you, however anything I get entangled in I go all the best way. For instance, in highschool I tried out for the observe crew and on a regular basis at apply I was getting ready to finish in first place.

After I took my first step on the street to wealth, my intention was to complete first. Wealth constructing is similar to track and area as a result of it takes preparation and observe. One has to exercise their mind and psychological muscle mass if they are to finish first and win the Gold as a wealth builder.

This reminds me of the time I was delivering a speech to and audience, throughout the query and reply interval a woman asked, "Are you rich?" I was not surprised by her query because it comes up usually throughout query and reply classes.

I responded by saying, "Yes I am rich." The audience said, "Wow!" The fact of the matter is I'm rich, nevertheless my street to wealth was anything however smooth.

Initially, I grew up in abject poverty, one in all nine youngsters born to two very laborious working parents employed by a tobacco manufacturing unit. As written in my e book, Residing on Larger Floor .I stated we have been so poor we spelled it roop, which is poor spelled backwards.

I thank God for that experience as a result of it taught me learn how to overcome poverty by altering my ideas and making good sound selections about money. Rising up in poverty is hard and I do not advocate anyone try it to see what it is like, belief me it was a memorable episode in my life.

Constructing wealth has every thing to do with the way you think and the alternatives you make. What do I mean by this?

Like all issues in life when confronted with a reality we have to deal with it. In other phrases, how we handle poverty is more vital than the fact.

As a child I noticed two hard working dad and mom work at the similar firm for 28 and 27 years respectively. My mother and father didn't complain despite the very fact their employers have been racist and prejudice in direction of them.

My mother and father didn't give a damn about racism or prejudice as a result of that they had nine kids to raise and they did it. Even though we did not have a lot of money we had one thing extra essential than cash, we have been taught how you can make something out of nothing and to be able to accomplish this you must think otherwise, make good selections and take decisive action.

One thing out of nothing is known as willpower to succeed irregardless of the obstacles life throws at you. In other phrases, no one ever mentioned life was going to be easy, you simply will need to have a plan to take care of the pitfalls.

Overcoming quicksand in life might be decided by the solution you come up with to resolve your monetary shortfalls. Living proof, I used to be the primary little one in a family of nine youngsters to earn a high school diploma. Neither my mother and father, nor their dad and mom earlier than them had an opportunity to finish faculty as a result of they were trying to survive a life of poverty.

I decided to attend faculty after incomes my highschool diploma, however I only had $300.00 I acquired from relations throughout my graduation ceremony. The defining moment in my life came once I was hired to work at the recreation division in my hometown in rural North Carolina.

Reflecting on the summer of 1976, I made $600.00 so as to add to the $300.00 I obtained at commencement. My dad and mom didn't have any money to give me for faculty, so I made a decision to apply for instructional grants and was in a position to safe funding all 4 years.

To maintain myself by school, a buddy of the family hired me to develop into an apprentice in his electrical business, it was electrifying to say the least. I did what I had to do to earn money so I might eat, purchase books, and buy a automobile to get to work.

As you may see the obstacles I faced throughout school was known as "lack." I overcame lack by believing in one thing larger than myself,. I believed I might overcome poverty through education and dealing and these choices made the entire distinction in my life.

In 1977, the summer previous to my sophomore 12 months I went again to my hometown and was employed to work in a manufacturing unit, it lasted all of three weeks. A week later I received a call from United Parcel Service (UPS), however I did not have a automotive to get to work as a result of it was 50 miles away.

One in every of my neighbors was a widow and owned a car but couldn't drive because of her medical situation. She allowed me to make use of her car until I might afford to buy my own. I worked at UPS for 3 1/2 years loading, unloading, and sorting parcels and was capable of sustain myself by school.

That is not all, because of my good grades in college I used to be given a chance to attend a United States Air Drive (USAF) fundamental coaching camp. Fundamental coaching lasted six weeks and after completing the program, I joined the Air Power Junior Reserve Officers Training Corps (AFROTC) two year program, it paid $one hundred.00 monthly.

I graduated with educational honors and was a distinguished graduate of AFROTC. Upon graduation I was commissioned a second lieutenant within the USAF.

On my highway to wealth I served over 20 years within the USAF, retiring within the rank of lieutenant colonel. Over the course of my navy career I lead individuals and managed billion dollar programs for the United States of America.

Over a 20 yr time frame, I invested in real estate, stock, and purchased varied insurance coverage insurance policies. I retired from the USAF over 5 years ago and as we speak I am financially impartial and unemployable.

In 2002, I founded Laurel Wreath Communications Inc, a professional talking, training, and consulting firm. In 2004 I based Laurel Wreath Publishing and founded the Paul Lawrence Vann Basis a 501(c)(3) not for profit academic group to show monetary literacy and authorship..

My ardour for real estate investing resulted in me founding Pinnacle Real Estate Investments, LLC shaqir hussyin scam and the Wealth Constructing Academy. As you can see, my street to wealth was anything but easy.

One might say I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth, nonetheless right this moment I am residing a top quality of life with my wife and kids and wouldn't have it some other method.

I owe my wealth to my mother and father who taught me sturdy dedication and to make good selections for my life. i also thank all the people who supported me along the way in which and my wife who loves and helps me.

Even though your highway to wealth will take different turns than mine, I don't need you to ever surrender on believing that you simply should be wealthy. If I used to be able to overcome abject poverty and turn into wealthy, you can do the same factor. Prosperity and wealth is yours as long as you make clever choices alongside the way in which.

Who doesn't wish to be rich? The pursuit of wealth is a ardour that drives many individuals. This is why many people in the company world burn themselves out as they run the rat race and climb the corporate ladder. For this reason people with the most mediocre of skills would endure embarrassment simply to make it massive in present business. That is why folks gamble at casinos or purchase lottery tickets. These are the traditional paths that folks take with a view to strike at wealth.

There isn't any shortcut to being rich - or so the sages say. If you want to be wealthy, it's important to work hard. But what if we show the sages fallacious and say that there's a shortcut to attaining riches? There is a confirmed manner of incomes money in such a manner that you get to do the work only once. After you've done the work, all you should do is to sit back and watch your earnings grow exponentially.

If you want to learn the way this shortcut works, then it's a must to enroll in a wealth schooling program.

Why Enroll in a Wealth Creation Schooling Program?

Standard knowledge teaches us that right after we graduate from school, we've to try to get a great job that pays rather well. As soon as we scored this job, we have now to work hard to maintain this job and to get promoted to the next level until we reach the top stage on the company ladder. After we retire from the careers we have now built for ourselves, we can benefit from the fruits of our labor.

But why wait until we're 65 years old to take pleasure in life when we can do it much, a lot earlier? Life is a journey that have to be executed slowly and leisurely, or else we'll miss out on the attractive moments we could have savored alongside the best way. Do now we have to attend until we are 65 years old to have the ability to journey the world? Do we now have to attend till retirement to have the ability to bask in the warmth of our families, to read the books that we want to learn when we wish to learn them, to dwell our lives the way we had at all times needed however couldn't as a result of we are so busy with our jobs?

Life doesn't have to be the rat race. If you enroll in a wealth creation training program, you'll find out the ways you'll be able to stop running the rat race and stroll alongside the path of life with out having to fret about cash.

Be taught to Create Passive Income utilizing a Wealth Education Program

There are a lot of things you'll study once you get in a wealth training program, however the important thing concept is that you would be able to be wealthy now and stay the life you suppose you might be presupposed to reside by growing passive revenue. Passive earnings is the fruit of work you'll only do as soon as after which get pleasure from for the rest of your life.

The reply to the question is Yes! it's doable to create Wealth On-line at home. With the precise steering and the proper instruments you could be well in your strategy to building a successful on-line wealth business.

There has by no means been a greater time to start out your own business working from the consolation of your private home.

With all of the economic uncertainties across the globe, now is the time to show in direction of creating your individual success.

The most important obstacle most internet entrepreneurs face is weeding via the a whole lot of thousands of alternatives out there on the internet in the present day. Let's face it, discovering the correct wealth on-line system could be a very tedious and time consuming activity. Just what number of scams have you ever come across the place you might be promised massive giant pay-days for only some hours work? You already know what I'm talking about. There are such a lot of individuals on the market doing there greatest to take your hard earned money off you, and might I add, a few of them do a fantastic job too. Some programs provide nearly too good to be true choices but we nonetheless fall for it and hand over our cash in a blink of a watch, only to search out that we've been scammed AGAIN!

The reality of the matter is, there isn't any simple solution to create wealth online at house. There may be nothing in life that we achieve, with out the suitable quantity of dedication arduous work. Identical goes for constructing a web-based enterprise. It should take dedication and a concerted effort to attain your aim to attain wealth on-line at dwelling. The key is finding the precise wealth online system or program that can train you the abilities and techniques you want, to be successful.

Building an internet business shouldn't be much totally different from constructing an offline enterprise. You continue to need the following:

1. A product or service

2. A buyer or target audience

three. A means to advertise and deliver your product or service to your customer

four. A billing account the place your customer can deposit his/her money too

5. A means to advertise and reach your goal buyer

The move of enterprise stays the identical, it's simply the principles and methods that differ. There are a variety of applications accessible on the internet immediately that can train you step by step how you can construct your on-line wealth enterprise. The challenge just comes when trying to find the precise wealth online academy that may suit your needs.

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billionairedestiny · 8 years ago

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Habits That Change Boys Into Men

The demise of our culture will result from the demise of its men if something isn’t changed quickly. Far too many men remain directionless, devastated and scared children.

Male suicide rate increased to three to four times higher than the female suicide rate. Men are twice as likely as women to become alcoholics. And males are far more likely to commit juvenile crime.

Much has been said and written in recent years about the challenges of men and boys. A sampling of book titles includes:

Why There Are No Good Men Left

The Demise of Guys

The End of Men

Why Boys Fail

The End of Men, And The Rise of Women

Boys Adrift

Manning Up: How The Rise Of Women Has Turned Men Into Boys

A common theme is that men and boys have become increasingly confused about their identity and role in society. Kay Hymowitz, author of Manning Up, put it this way:

“It’s been an almost universal rule of civilization that whereas girls became women simply by reaching physical maturity, boys had to pass a test. They needed to demonstrate courage, physical prowess, or mastery of the necessary skills. The goal was to prove their competence as protectors of women and children; this was always their primary social role. Today, however, with women moving ahead in an advanced economy, provider husbands and fathers are now optional, and the character qualities men had needed to play their role — fortitude, stoicism, courage, fidelity — are obsolete and even a little embarrassing.”

It is the norm in Hollywood films, TV and cable shows, and even commercials to portray men as incompetent, immature, or self-absorbed. This underlying message has subtly and increasingly become the collective unconscious with devastating repercussions.

Academically, it is reported in the United States that:

Girls outperform boys now at every level — from elementary school through graduate school.

By eighth grade, only 20 percent of boys are adept in writing and 24 percent adept in reading.

Young men’s SAT scores in 2011 were the lowest they’ve been in 40 years.

According to the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES), boys are 30 percent more likely than girls to drop out of both high school and college.

In 2017, women will earn more than 60 percent of bachelor’s and more than 63 percent of master’s degrees.

Boys make up two-thirds of students in special education remedial programs.

Women deserve the increased success they are getting. They’ve been oppressed for far too long. They’re hungrier and more motivated than most men. And hopefully society will continue to allow them the increased equality they deserve.

However, this article’s focus is on helping the struggling and confused young man. Indeed, many young men have taken the adverse cues of society as an excuse to evade responsibility and never really grow up.

If you are a young man and you’re struggling, you are not alone. This article is intended to challenge you to rethink your entire approach to life. If applied, these habits will radically set you apart from the decaying norm.

1. Think Beyond Yourself

Kids look to their parents for all the answers. When they become teenagers they know all the answers. Many never mature out of this stage and remain incredibly narcissistic, which is displayed in the following ways:

Believing you are better than others

Exaggerating your talents or gifts

Expecting constant praise and admiration

Failure to recognize other people’s emotions or feelings

Expressing disdain for those who seem inferior

Trouble keeping healthy relationships

Acting as if you have nothing to learn

Moving beyond self-consciousness requires an increase in overall consciousness.

By heightening your level of consciousness, you’ll see the brilliance of humanity in general, be able to relate deeper with others, experience greater joy, and have enhanced ability to manifest the destiny of your choosing.

The following are ways to increase your level of consciousness:

Allow yourself to experience your feelings, rather than block them out. Meditation is a helpful way to do this. You experience your thoughts and feelings, learn from them, then let them go.

Let go of framing your idea of what should be and genuinely accept what is. The journey is the end, not simply a means to an end.

Identify the meaningless things to which you’ve assigned meaning. Happiness and security can never be experienced when dependent on the external — they can only be achieved internally.

Begin trusting your inner voice. If you feel a prompting to bring an umbrella with you, even when the weather report says the contrary, bring it.

Explore the world, experience new cultures, and have your paradigm shaken and reframed.

Question your own intentions and motivations.

Be humble about your own humanity.

Act with love, and become aware when you are not.

2. Stop Playing Video Games

There are a host of both positive and negative effects of playing video games. However, approximately 15 percent of American youth have an unhealthy addiction to video games. Another study reported that 31 percent of males and 13 percent of females have felt “addicted” to video games.

Naturally, boys have a strong need for accomplishment and challenge. Yet, studies suggest that some of the most popular video games are disengaging boys from real-world pursuits. Boys’ need for accomplishment is satisfied by “leveling up” in the game; so they don’t feel the need to go out into the world and solve real problems. Thus, society is not being served by their efforts.

Gaming often gets in the way of important relationships or meaningful life pursuits. 15 percent of divorces are filed by women because their husband prefers video games over them.

This point is particularly significant to me. I myself spent a large portion of my time in junior high and high school playing World of Warcraft. Literally thousands of hours logged-in and lost.

I see many of my high school friends and family members who are now in their late 20’s and 30’s continuing to play 4+ hours of video games per day — even when married with kids.

Playing video games is being touted as a “healthy” way to escape reality. Yet, one must ask: Is escaping reality (especially for extended periods of time) ever healthy?

The need for achievement and challenge can be accomplished in real life. You can “level-up” the real you while simultaneously solving social problems.

3. Learn In Healthy Environments And Lay-Off The Meds

The industrial classroom model is killing our boys. It is not a healthy environment for them. Young boys need more physical stimulation.

The result is that many are improperly and lazily diagnosed with ADHD. Their natural characteristics, emotions, passions, and gifts are being curbed by medications.

Although it is not a popular notion, boys and girls are wired differently. Girls are often exclusively motivated by praise. They will perfect their handwriting just to have it noticed.

Boys on the other hand, are often motivated by tangible experiences that relate to real life. Thus, many boys see no point in having good handwriting if one day they will spend their time typing. They don’t care as much what other people think. They just want to be challenged.

4. Get Intensive Physical Stimulation

Short and intensive learning spurts, followed by rigorous physical stimulation is a powerful and positive way for boys and men to learn. Rough-and-tumble play helps develop the frontal lobe of the brain, which is used to regulate behavior. Sadly, many public schools are removing gym class and recess, further exacerbating problems among boys.

In the recent book, Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain, authors John J. Ratey and Eric Hagerman share some amazing science and stories. For instance, despite many schools removing gym-class from their curriculum, others have put more focus on it and found staggering results. When kids exercise in the morning, they learn far better. In fact, they improve in all areas of their lives. Human beings are holistic. Your brain, your emotions, your relationships, are all tied together.

If you’re living a sedentary life as a man, you’re not getting the needed stimulation you need. Research has found that males thrive in kinesthetic learning environments — learning through moving.

Healthy Testosterone Levels

Intensive physical activity, like sprinting or heavy weight lifting (followed by extended rest periods) are a good outlet for men’s need of physical stimulation. Moreover, these intensive physical activities can activate healthy levels of testosterone which produce many positive effects — including:

Fat loss

Muscle gain

Healthier bone density

Normalized blood pressure

Lower likelihood of obesity and heart attacks

Increased energy

More enjoyment of career and family

Feeling younger, stronger, sexier, and healthier

Healthy sex drive

Studies have found that healthy testosterone levels affect men’s cognitive performance, and can improve focus, motivation, and memory.

The Need For Physical Pain

Interestingly, boys and girls experience pain differently. For boys, physical pain can be a stimulant fueling mental clarity. On the other hand, physical pain for girls can be a narcotic, making them feel hazy and confused.

I’ve seen this in myself. Some of my greatest insights have come while pushing myself to the extreme while doing yard work or while exercising. This phenomenon is also seen in endurance athletes who push themselves through pain for many hours at a time.

5. Take Responsibility For Your Life And Set Your Standards High

In his book, Boys Adrift, Dr. Leonard Sax explains that boys need — not want — to be responsible. If they are not needed, they don’t flourish.

Men step down if they’re not needed. And because of society’s message that men are no longer needed, many are staying in their parents basements.

Although most men will not go out of their way to take on challenges and responsibility, this is the very thing they should do if they want to thrive. Indeed, it is becoming common knowledge that perception is followed by physical experience in the form of self-fulfilling prophecy. If you believe you will succeed, you often do.

If you set your sights high in life, you will achieve incredible things. In order to do this, you can no longer play the victim to circumstances. Blaming the world, your parents, school, or the challenges you’ve faced in life is not going to solve your problems. It’s going to keep you stuck and bitter.

Instead, take the time to imagine and mentally create your ideal life. Mental creation always precedes physical creation.

You have the inner power to create whatever life you want to achieve. All you have to do is spend the time creating that world with intention. Write down exactly what you want in life. Set your standards ridiculously high. Don’t hold anything back.

Read, rewrite, and reread your ambitions often. These will soon consume your subconscious mind creating new patterns in your brain. Eventually, you’ll manifest the world you’ve been creating in your head.

6. Prayer, Meditation, And Journal Writing

Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, and every other religious and spiritual tradition strongly stress the significance of regular prayer. Although the form of practice may be different, the purpose is the same: — -

Gratitude

Inspiration

Self-realization

Deepened connection to God/existence

The improvement of humanity as a whole

Prayer (and modifications such as meditation and gratitude journals) are regularly found to increase physical and mental well-being.

For me, I often combine prayer with journal writing as a form of meditation. I seek inspiration, direction, heightened perspective, and gratitude.

Scientifically supported benefits of prayer include:

Improves self-control

Makes you nicer

Makes you more forgiving

Increases your trust

Offsets negative health effects of stress

People are often turned-off by prayer, believing it is a strictly “religious” practice. Even if organized religion is not your thing, you can still have a positive and healthy relationship with prayer.

7. Earn Good Friends

You are who you surround yourself with. There’s no way around it. If you want to evolve past your current state, you need to remove yourself from the negative forces in your life. This will not be easy. Misery loves company.

However, when you decide to remove yourself from negative people — and instead surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you — your life will dramatically improve.

Take the leap. Invite your friends to come along with you. If they don’t understand your needed evolution, kindly bid them a loving farewell.

8. Commit Fully To Someone

“We’re supposed to believe that relationships tie people down, that they are the death knell for creativity and ambition. Nonsense.” — Ryan Holiday

With all the productivity and success advice going on in the world today, very little is written about the benefits of finding a spouse who supports you and makes you better.

It is quite rare for people to stay committed to anything or anyone these days. There are countless fatherless children. Many seek easy sexual prey followed by the internal pit of emptiness — too afraid to reveal and confront their true identity.

Research has found that committed relationships can reduce the chance of illness and increase the length of life. Other benefits of long-term commitment in relationships include:

Greater sense of life satisfaction

Increased happiness

A host of practical benefits, such as shared assets and children

Less likely to engage substance-abuse

Decreased likelihood of depression and neglect of one’s health

“Choose your love, love your choice.” — Thomas Monson

I got married at age 24. I’ve never felt restrained by that decision, liberated. Now 29, we have three foster children, what most would consider a huge blow to our freedom.

This could not be further from the truth in my experience. Instead, I’m challenged to become a better person every day. I’m challenged to think beyond my own needs and to learn patience, humility and love.

I would never make such monumental decisions without prayer, fasting, meditation, and journaling. However, when you’re in a state of clarity, you can follow your intuition and consistently make good decisions. As Malcom Gladwell expounds in “Blink,” snap decisions are often more accurate than well-thought-out ones.

Of course marriage isn’t easy. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But why choose the easy path? As a man, challenge and responsibility is precisely what is needed to thrive.

9. Fall In Love With Learning

Ordinary people seek entertainment. Extraordinary people seek education and learning. We now live in a world where you no longer need to go to college (or high school) to become educated. At your fingertips is an unlimited and ever-increasingly well of information. You can become an expert at anything.

Many of the world’s most successful people attribute their success to a love for learning. They often read one or more books per week. With a few books, you can learn how to build wealth, healthy relationships, and the life of your dreams.

With more information and education, you will make better lifestyle choices. You’ll be less likely to have destructive addictions and make ignorant decisions.

You’ll be more likely to surround yourself with brilliant people, learn new languages and explore the world, come up with solutions to the world’s problems, and have passion and zest for life.

Stop gaming and start reading. The real world awaits. And it’s amazing.

10. Take Bigger Risks

“Don’t fail by default.” — Richard Paul Evans

Richard Paul Evans, the famous writer, often tells a story of being a shy high school kid. In one of his classes, he sat next to the girl of his dreams. He spent an entire year wishing he could work up the courage to ask her out. But he never ended up talking to her.

“Why would she be interested in a loser like me?” he would say to himself.

A few years later, at a high school reunion, they met and talked.

“I just have to ask: Why didn’t you ever ask me out?” she asked. “I always liked you and hoped you would talk to me.”

Evans was shocked.

He had been wrong that entire time and missed the opportunity he spent over a year dreaming about. In that moment, he determined to never fail by default again.

“If I’m going to fail, I’m going to fail big,” he has said. “If I fail, I’m going to fail after giving it everything I’ve got.”

Stop playing life small. Date people that seem absurdly out of your league. They’re not — only in your head.

Don’t be conservative in your career until you’re in your 40’s. There is little risk while you’re young, energetic, and motivated. Now is the time to take huge risks. Embrace rejection and failure. In turn, embrace enormous and unimaginable success.

Conclusion

You can have whatever life you choose.

Don’t be afraid to dream big for yourself.

Have the courage to seize that life and truly live, rather than only imagining living.

The world needs you.

from Habits That Change Boys Into Men

#Habits That Change Boys Into Men

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