#impressive how insane some socalled professionals are | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

eternalmydnyt · 4 years ago

Text

So I decided its time for another one of my random peeks i give into my insanity. This is the playlist of songs on my IPhone. Some are there just because i like them but for the most part music is a form of self therapy for me, the voices find things in life which lets them feel manifest and music is a way to feel them, touch them, and communicate with them in a generally harmless environment. Plus this can give anyone who reads an glimpse into my head and my tastes

In no particular order Im going to follow this format for the list

"Title" Band

Affecting Lyrics

How it affects me

Lets begin shall we?

"Get Well" Icon For Hire

Don't tell the others but it's all getting old

I mean how many more times must our stories be told?

And being lonely's only fun in a group

It sort of loses it's charm when it's true

This is a song about someone who is tired of suffering. Someone who has decided that its time to get serious about changing for the better. The voice in my head who reacts most to this is Eleni, Eleni doesnt want to be broken anymore, doesnt want to be crazy and fractured. She is my internal caretaker and OCD. She is who i draw on when i need to get things done regardless of how i feel.

"My Name" Shinedown

My name is worthless like you told me I once was

My name is empty cause you drained away the love

My name is searching since you stole my only soul

My name is hatred and the reasons we both know

Micheal... he is so angry all the time. Angry about the past, angry about the present, angry about the future. He is my rage at a world that should be more then what it is. Micheal is the one who is most "Me" of the voices. He is the one who is the closest to being who i would if i didnt have to constantly wear a thousand masks for society. He cares about some but in general he just wants to see everyone burn until they understand his pain.

"Break In" Halestorm

You are the only one

The only one that sees me

Trusts me and believes me

You are the only one

The only one that knows me

And in the dark you show me

Yeah it's perfectly reckless

Damn you leave me defenseless

So break in

This is my song i dedicate to Francine and everything she does for me. She is one of only 3 people who I truelly trust and who knows almost everything about me. She has saved me.

"Carry on my Wayward Son" Supernatural 200th Episode Cover.

Masquerading as a man with a reason

My charade is the event of the season

And if I claim to be a wise man,

Well, it surely means that I don't know

Ok this one is just because i REALLY like it. Especially this version.

"Indestructible" Disturbed

Another reason, another cause for me to fight

Another fuse uncovered now, for me to light

My dedication to all that I've sworn to protect

I carry out my orders without a regret

Ahh Alex. He is aggressive and territorial. He isnt Angry the way Micheal is but he is more violent. He was the part of me that couldnt remember fighting back against bullies, the part which would lash out in violence against anyone who mistreated me. He was dangerous and volitile in school but he had reasons to be. He changed as I got older... now he is more of a gatekeeper. He protects the people i trust... deciding who is "Pack" and who isnt. If he doesnt accept you then I dont trust you. I dont have many in my circle but he is the one who holds the guest list. If you arent in the circle then Alex lets Micheal have you.

"Divide" Disturbed

I am a little more provocative then you might need,

It's your shock and then your horror on which I feed

So can you tell me what exactly does freedom mean,

If I'm not free to be as twisted as I wanna be

Don't wanna be another player losing in this game

I'm trying to impress upon you

We're not the same

My psychotic mentality is so unique

I'm one aggressive motherfucker

Now, wouldn't you say

Ever since Micheal became violent he has been fighting against being classified with the rest. He hates being "Just another voice" he believes he is THE voice and the others should serve him. I like Micheal alot... he is one i rely on and consider one of my closest allies because he has the strength to drown out the others when i need him to... but god he can be a self important dick sometimes.

"Without Me" Eminem

Now this looks like a job for me so everybody just follow me

'Cause we need a little controversy,

'Cause it feels so empty without me

This is another i just really like. Hell of a beat. Good music for a walk.

"Fuck Away the Pain" Divide the Day

You hate the way he fooled around behind your back

A slave to him but now with me, no strings attached

But if you wanna use me up and leave me in the bed

If that's what you need go right ahead

Ahh Gray. I was wondering when you would show up. Gray loves this song. Being eternally a teenager his greatest joys in life are Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll. If he could spend all his time getting high, getting laid, and playing Call of Duty he would be a happy boy. He reminds me to have fun and relax. I just wish he wasnt so pushy about it.

"Love Bites (So Do I)" Halestorm

My lips are pale and vicious.

You’re foaming at the mouth.

You’ve suffered in the darkness.

I’ll suck the pain right out.

So come and taste the reason

I’m nothing like the rest.

I kiss you in a way you’ll never forget about me.

Two Gray songs in a row. He is a firm believer that the best cure for pain is to leave it behind with fun and pleasure. Someone hurt you? Leave em behind and find something better. He doesnt get why it has to be any more complicated then that.

"Innocence" Halestorm

Is this what you wanted

Did I make your dreams come true?

You're sitting in a corner

Wondering what you got into

And you ache for things you don't understand

That your tears don't mean a thing

I only cum when you scream

Raven. I dont talk about her much. Micheal is angry and Alex is Violent but Raven enjoys it. Raven wants to inflict pain not for revenge or to protect me... she wants to inflict pain because she enjoys it. She loves the idea of having power over another person and being able to control the difference between their pleasure and their pain. finding out just what it would take to push someone to the point where the carress of fingertips and the carress of a blade provoke the same reaction... be it screams or moans. Raven came to being during a time in my life when all i did was suffer... and when all you do is suffer you find ways to enjoy even that.

"Leave it all behind" Cult to Follow

Forget the decay

And the endlessness of all of our mistakes

Forget all the blame

And the apathy

And throw it all away

Forget the Pain

Forget the Hate

Forget all your Enemies

They never will break you again

This would probobly be most associated with my serpent. He isnt vocal... he is cold and empty... armored and predatory. He is instinct and survival. He turns me off. When my emotions are more then i can handle his scales harden me and keep them out... better to feel nothing then to be overwhelmed.

"My Songs know what you did in the Dark" Fall Out Boy

A constellation of tears on your lashes

Burn everything you love, then burn the ashes

In the end everything collides

My childhood spat back out the monster that you see

Another Micheal... have i mentioned he is loud? I think one of the largest things that fuels his rage is the fact that maybe I would be so much healthier if someone had jus seen what was going on when i was a child and helped me then... no instead the schools were content just labeling me "Antisocial with Anger Control Issues and an Overactive Imagination" Fucking lazy ass socalled professionals...

"What I've Done" Linkin Park

I'll face myself

To cross out what I’ve become

Erase myself

And let go of what I’ve done

This song speaks to me but its hard to pinpoint why. Theres alot in my life i regret... Life needs a Do-over button.

"Porn Star Dancing" My Darkest Days

She wraps those hands around that pole

She licks those lips and off we go

She takes it off nice and slow

Because that's pornstar dancin'

Gray loves this song... not only for its literal lyrics bot also for the fact he has convinced himself its one long ass Blowjob analogy.

"Runnin" Adam Lambert

'Round and around I'd go, addicted to the numb

Living in the cold

The higher, the lower the down, down, down

Sick of being tired and sick of waiting

For another kind of fix

The damage is damning me down, down, down

Love this song... Speaks to me but at the same time it is one that im not sure who in my head reacts most. It just makes me happy.

"Save Yourself" My Darkest Days

You’re the perfect drug when it hurts like hell

I've never needed anyone so much

There’s no-one else I love and I curse myself

Cause the right thing is to give you up

I’m overcome by shame cause I can never change

And you can never understand my sickness

(I’ll never understand my sickness)

This is a Micheal. He is angry and violent and seeks pain on others... but there are people he cares about. He doesnt want to hurt them but he cant change what he is. So I try to keep him tempered with the lighter voices despite him being by far my strongest.

Bah i'm gonna stop here. Theres a few more songs on the list but they are mostly just because i really enjoy the sound of em. Ill put them in a quick list.

"I am Murloc" Elite Tauren Chieftain

"Bad Girlfriend" Theory of a Deadman

"Careless Whisper" Seether

"Chicken with a Train" Cowboy Troy

"Swing" Trace Adkins

"I dont Dance" High School Musical (Dont judge me!)

"Let it Go" Frozen (Dont you dare fucking Judge me lol)

#music #voices in my head #scream into the void

0 notes