#imperfect allies are objectively less of a problem than enemies but emotionally they cause much more frustration

[merrymorningofmay]

sometimes i want to gatekeep positive-ish news about ukraine from non-ukrainians so hard you can't imagine. in a very bitter, very petty "put it back you didn't earn that shit" way

"oh it's just a couple thousands north koreans" cool, a couple thousands more people for our army to spend precious time and expensive ammo on! and you know damn well these will not be the last couple thousands, and if somehow that isn't enough to finish us off, hey, why not do the same with other countries too? why not china, why not whatever else dictator there is with troops to spare and money to make? it's not like there's anything to deter them, is there

"oh they're just some poorly trained canon fodder though" same could be said about many if not most russian soldiers, and yet here we are and the war is nowhere near over. training quality isn't necessarily a dealbreaker when your enemy outmans and outpowers you by orders of magnitude

"oh but they're gonna be deserting at once" some of them will, all of them won't, and again, what stops north korea from sending more

it's OUR job to cope and survive however we can and YOUR job to be worried out your asses constantly because that seems to be the only thing that puts you in a proactive mood, and boy are y'all behind schedule

[perfectly-balanced]

👀 What do you dislike most about each member of your cult?

I assume you are referring to my Black Order? This is a very difficult question to answer and one that has required careful consideration. That being said, I have come to a conclusion, but keep in mind that if any of these issues bothered me enough to overshadow their benefits and good qualities, they would not be my servants. For the most part, these are simply minor nitpicks.

I will begin with Pravus Nox. You may not know of Pravus, as he was more well known among his adversaries by the title of ‘The Other’. Unfortunately he is no longer alive to serve under me, but that will not prevent me from discussing his flaws here just the same. One of the main problems I faced with Pravus was that he was incredibly exhausting to be around. Even though he was a servant, he was incredibly loud and would try to get my full attention any time he was around me. There was certainly nothing subtle about him, and he would rarely leave me alone in peace. Another gripe I had with him is that he was not only hostile to enemies, but also to allies. And not only temporary allies, like Loki or Ronan. His rude and bossy demeanor did not make him very popular among the rest of the Order either, so I’ve heard, and he is rarely included in their ranks quite possibly by his own desire. He did not like them, and they did not like him, the Maw in particular. Pravus, for all his uses, was not a team player, but he was still technically a member of the Black Order.  

In the case of Cull Obsidian, it is important to understand that he places a high value on loyalty, which by itself is certainly a good thing. But because he is the more responsible brother to Corvus, who I will get into in a moment, he has had to become very responsible. This has led to him being overly protective of the rest of the Order, to the point where he takes far too much nonsense from them without standing up for himself properly. Don’t get me wrong, he is very stubborn, which in itself is a bit of an issue for me, but despite his size and strength he is actually one of the least aggressive members of my Order. I would like to see him learn to assert himself more in their presence, and perhaps also to be less trusting and more self-reliant. I’ve also noticed that he can be incredibly literal in his comprehension of what I say, I appreciate when people get directly to the point, but he sometimes has trouble deciphering anything I say that isn’t a direct order. He is very practical, even more so than I, and metaphors are often lost on him.

It took longer for Proxima Midnight’s faults to become apparent to me, and that in part is due to the nature of some of those flaws. She is very secretive, so it takes a more substantial period of time to get to know her than I am used to, and I’ve learned that most of who she truly is isn’t expressed on the outside. I don’t know if she is even capable of letting her guard down or being entirely emotionally invested in anything, I’ve only ever seen her react to emotional obstacles in one of two ways. The first is the most common, and it is driven by her extremely spiteful temper. It is a cold burning that only her enemies will ever see, and when she is in this state no mercy can be expected. However, when she is faced with a similar situation that involves myself or an ally, she will react with avoidance and detachment, which makes it incredibly hard to solve anything. Because of this, she can often come off as arrogant and it has been known to rub people the wrong way. This combined with her controlling nature has certainly caused some problems within the Order.

I have to say, I have had a hard time pinpointing any of Ebony Maw’s imperfections right away because they normally seem nonexistent and I had to think more critically in order to find an answer. But in doing so, it occurred to me that the fact that it is so difficult to speak ill of him could be a symptom of a flaw all on its own. The Maw is such a perfectionist that often times his expectations for himself and those around him far surpass my own. He is just so incredibly cerebral and analytical that not even his own self is spared from that shrewd judgment. Of course, I appreciate his high standards in my service, but there does come a point where it actually becomes counterproductive to fuss over details that really aren’t important, and it can get a little taxing trying to reassure his insecurities about himself and his work that are otherwise perfect. He really should be more confident in himself, he has never failed to deliver or please before so there is really no precedent for such paranoia. Another small issue relates to the fact that while I trust in Ebony to be completely honest with me at all times, he is also not someone I would go to if I needed an entirely objective and unbiased opinion about myself. He is seemingly incapable of critiquing anything I do or could do and will likely just agree with anything I say, not out of dishonesty but simply because he is so eager to please and can’t see me objectively, whereas I could ask Proxima for an outside opinion and expect her to be blunt and get straight to the point, offering me a new perspective and insight while still respecting my authority as Ebony does. Some might also consider Ebony’s clinginess to be a flaw of sorts, and I suppose it could be to some, but it really doesn’t bother me because his presence does not suffocate me in the way that Pravus’ did, I rather enjoy and am endeared to it. Even though he would likely never admit it, I can tell that he is saddened when my attention is drawn elsewhere, but I do not mind giving him as much of it as I am reasonably able to. It may also be worth mentioning that out of all my disciples, Ebony is definitely the most vicious to my enemies and even just in general. If I did not control it and harness that power to be directed at the right targets, he could very well know no limits in his cruelty.

Corvus Glaive, on the other hand…..I have plenty to say about him. Every issue I’ve ever had and likely will ever have with Corvus can be summed up by the fact that he is such a wild card. It’s hard to know what to expect from him from one day to the next, and I often can’t predict which Corvus I will face at any given time, the extremely cunning, strategic and effective war genius whose prowess cannot be denied, or the annoying troublemaker who can at times almost border on insolence and whose puzzling sense of humor sows conflict in even the most stable and peaceful scenarios. Is is the subject of almost all complaints I receive from other members, and even after all this time he is still quite resistant to changing his ways. That is not to say he is disloyal in the slightest, if that were the case he would not be in my Order, let alone the general in command of my armies and one of my most trusted right hand men. But unfortunately, his personality is just set up in such a way where he can be a real pest even when he is not meaning to be and has the best intentions. I suspect his personal issues including his penchant for guzzling large amounts of alcohol play a significant role in this as well, so i am willing to look past his transgressions in order to focus on what he can offer me to make it worth my while putting up with his shenanigans.

There is also Onyx Inferna, who is merely a member in training to take on Pravus’ former role as my personal assistant. I will not go into too much detail regarding her as I have not known her for very long just yet so to judge her qualities in depth would be rather premature as I have not had a good window of context to study her behavioral patterns and shortcomings. However, I do know that so far she is quite volatile and unrestrained, and also appears to have a severe abandonment complex. Nothing that can’t be solved with my guidance, though.

This may sound like a lot to complain about after having just mentioned that it was hard for me to critique anything, but let me just reiterate that these issues are really not present the majority of the time in most cases, and that a lot of these flaws have positive aspects to them that outweigh the negatives. All in all, I am quite proud of my Black Order and I care about them dearly, imperfections included.