#imo any good representation about DID would be boring as shit
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sysmedsaresexist · 7 days ago
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thoughts on fandoms treating characters with a heavily fictionalized form of split personality as if they canonically have DID?
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like DID doesnt fucking do this
You mean you don't do a magical girl sailor moon transformation when you switch?
I don't know, sounds sus, friendo
Your eyes should at least change colour, how else do you know who's fronting?
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cactus-joke · 3 years ago
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the thing i will never wrap my head around is introducing sylvie as a frankenloki & then giving her absolutely no depth despite her being the key protagonist of season 1... like mike must hate women for the fact that
1) all the tva women of color are sidelined immediately (at least the two w the most prominent & interesting roles/backgrounds) for a white ladies development
2) you can count all the tva lady agents we see onscreen w one hand
3) frankenloki aka sylvie has a bunch of gaps for a character like where’d she get blonde hair dye. if ure hellbent on revenge why are u making stops at wallmart 2 get a box of hair bleach. where’d she get asgardian leather but SPECIFICALLY for her top (she’s wearing baggy pants & combat boots w that ensemble??? which as i say it also sounds like those corny wattpad “put my hair in a messy bun, wore my combat boots” fanfic outfits 😭), why and how did she get the AoA loki horns, she didn’t have them when she was taken. if she hates the loki association why’s she wearing the horns & the color green which is... the biggest target to be perceived as loki
4) if she’s an important part of the self love metaphor romance why does she always make this face “😐🤨🤢😐🤨😐” when loki talks (berating him & betraying him in the end aside ofc!)
5) why do we not know her nexus event? why do we not know why she chose the name sylvie? why does she have no prominent character traits outside of having a vagina? why is she cis? why did she get taken at the tender age of an elementary schooler but not when she was born if her crime was being born a girl?
6) has mike waldron ever met, spoken to, or seen a woman? has he engaged in critical, intelligent conversation with anyone, really?
7) can i be emotionally compensated by disney for simultaneously the most BORING (how do you make.. the god of mischief & tricks... boring is beyond me) and convoluted overstuffed show for wasting my time?
I don't know that Mike hates women, but I do think, based on his interviews and the resulting product he made, that:
1) It was certainly a choice to make the two prominent black female characters slaves to a fascist organization and one essentially a leader of it. A choice I don't think anyone involved in creating this show spent a second to think about.
I don't think they were necessarily sidelined on purpose, however. I just think it's an inevitable by-product of the show's terrible pacing and even worse writing. That scene one between B-15 and Renslayer, a scene I think was ultimately a waste of time, made me think that they probably did want to highlight at least those two characters on their own merit. They failed, of course, in the end, and with the set-up I think the intention or lack of intention doesn't really matter since we get what we get, you know?
It's not really a shinning example of giving your characters of color time and care, either, but I do have to highlight B-15's moment of doubt, a scene I think Wunmi Mosaku absolutely killed (seriously, everyone needs to check out her other work, she is effort and talent personified.).
Besides that, if you ask me, no character in this show has any real development anyway, including Sylvie. It is an uneven display of screen-time because obviously she's a main over everyone else but, like, can it even be said that Sylvie particularly benefited from it? I don't really think so. As you said, she has no depth, she is just an empty girlboss fantasy, and the diversity in general in this show feels empty to me.
2) I didn't really even want more TVA foot soldiers to be women. It wouldn't be a diversity win so much as just more empty pandering and Marvel's typical (military) propaganda fuel.
Anyway, I'd like to highlight some youtube creators of color who make great in-depth videos on this issue:
Khadija Mbowe: Color-blind vs. Identity-conscious casting and examining Hamilton and Malcom & Marie
Town of Tawiah: Performative Diversity and Colorism in Film | Dear White People Review, My Wife & Kids,HTGAWM & More
Cheyenne Lin: GOOD Representation Matters | Colorism and Casting
There's obviously way more, but these videos are a good starting point to expand on this topic from people who know what they're talking about. I put a link to their videos while the link on their names will lead you to their respective channels.
3) Sylvie's whole appearance is bullshit from the get-go. They deliberately used comic book references on her to confuse us and make their dumbshit twist of: oh, see, she actually is a Loki variant!
I remember seeing a post essentially saying whoever thinks Sylvie is a Loki variant with 100% certainty is media illiterate lmao, so I guess it worked on some people.
So, you know, IMO, it doesn't matter that it doesn't make sense for her to wear Loki's signature colors and the iconic AoA head-wear, she just does because fuck you.
Also, "if ure hellbent on revenge why are u making stops at wallmart 2 get a box of hair bleach." lmaooo - she just wanted to be her own person, you know, visually, but only with her hair and nothing else :)
4) Sylvie so very clearly doesn't even like Loki all that much, certainly not as much as he likes her (she is a girlboss after all, "she's got shit to do!"). It would be funny if it wasn't tragic. I do feel bad for Larry from accounting :(
5) I'm guessing we don't know her nexus event because they kinda never bothered to define what it was and they don't care. Maybe Renslayer saying she doesn't remember her nexus event was supposed to be this moment of like cold truth, or an attempt to hurt Sylvie because she knows but won't tell her, or, you know... actually, who cares.
6) I think Mike has spoken to women and I think he's had plenty of intelligent and critical conversations at his level. Which is a relative zero to a generous one. Perhaps two on a good day.
Idk though, jokes aside, his writing on this series is childish and lazy, his view of Loki is boring and reductive, his original script he used for this show is absolute shit, and that's all I can really say for sure.
7) I wish. The show really is boring when it isn't actively infuriating. It still boggles my mind how this mess even happened. Like, I knew the show would be bad, but this bad? Man oh man.
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alatismeni-theitsa · 5 years ago
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Hi, I tried to read LO a while ago but I couldn't get pass the first 2 chapters b/c it was like watching The Kardashians. Its basically the celebrity news in webtoon form borrowing names from Greek mythology. I'm not even Greek, I just find the storytelling in LO really boring and basic. Why is Persephone now reduced to some persecuted Disney princess and Apollo into this really one dimensional jackass? Like he did some shady things in the myths but he was never just plain bad like in LO. (1/4)
In another response, you mentioned that even Percy Jackson was more respectful than LO and I agree. While I have many MANY issues with Percy Jackson at least its storyline was more interesting and entertaining. While its not high literature, its not the stereotypical young adult romance with all the bitchy drama and protagonist victimization that goes on in LO. IMO, although LO has interesting art, the story itself is bland and trashy. I feel my last braincells dying as I read it.
Btw do you have any posts on your view on Percy Jackson? Being an American I could not escape the hype over it and actually read the first part of the series. It was entertaining but since I didn't read it as a 10 year old, I found so many problems. The characters are FLAT! The portrayals of the pantheon and their respective offspring are so stereotypical. Like all Aphrodite kids (except the one tomboy) are apparently vain and superficial and Ares and his kids are all muscleheads.
Also, I just can't understand why Athena, a virgin goddess has kids? Apparently she has the power to think them into existence?! Finally, I like Hera but Riordan just portrays her extra disrespectfully. No offense to him but if there is literally a camp's worth of children resulting from cheating spouses, and said spouses are not a bit ashamed, I'd be pissed too. I could write a whole thesis on why I dislike Percy Jackson lol. Anyway I'm interested to know your thoughts. Have a nice day.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Ya su! Let me rant with you xD I have many times said that the characters are just characters she made up and she slapped the names of the Greek gods on them  - as many writers of such fics do. It’s not necessarily a bad thing to do, although it’s not good writing and the gods are out of character. I also didn’t like how the characters were almost one dimentional and Tumblr stereotypes. It would be better if she had made her own story with her own characters because that would be some much better and accurate.
I was really annoyed when she made Apollo the bad guy. The rape scene just... uuugghhh! Let me repeat it for those in the back: Greek.gods.cannot.be.the.bad.guys! Greek mythology doesn’t work that way and if she had studied properly she would have known it! It’s like taking saints from the Christian tradition and taking their flows or bad moments and using them to transforming those saints into villains.
Ooooh shit I didn’t know that about Athena😂The plot device that she just wished them into existence is... bad, I am not gonna lie :P Mainly because THAT’S NOT HOW ATHENA WORKS! Zeus could do that - and I think he has done it - but not Athena.
As for percy jackson, I read it when I was a teen and I enjoyed the series! It had the problems you mentioned and some things were stereotypical. But it is a book for young kids so those things didn’t do damage... I think the book is written in a way that it’s easy for the reader to not take the misinformation seriously. At the same time I feel the gods were presented more like references for someone who already knew Greek mythology. He mispresented them in a way that - kinda - made sense if  you know who the gods were and what the changes of the modern world had done to them. As you said “While its not high literature, its not the stereotypical young adult romance with all the bitchy drama and protagonist victimization that goes on in LO.” Sooo it gets some points :P 
Maybe I am too lenient because I am desensitized to mediocre/plain bad fics with Greek gods. This kind of fics was all I knew for many, many years and no beacon of light - a good researched and respectfull fic - came to my rescue. As most of Greeks, my standards are low cause we never had anything better. And at the same time we hear “you are white and your mythology is the most known in the world so you shouldn’t have any complaints”. So... we are supposed not to say anything when our heritage is butchered and turned into pop culture for one of the most priviledged and rich nations on earth. 
I have the tags #percy jackson and #rick riordan and you can search there to see more of my posts about it. A Greek friend liked the series but she noticed there was no Greek representation or presentation of Greek culture, despite the Greek mythology being the central theme of the book. I think you will find this post in the tag as well.  
Aaaanyways! Thanks for stopping by! Have a good day as well :D 
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hadoriel · 5 years ago
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I made a long ass post on a Youtube video so might as well post it here lmao
As a Sylvanas stan (pls wait I'm not disagreeing at all--) I REALLY hate how Sylvanas has become so... boring. I've always regarded her as a really cool character with a great backstory and tactically on-point. Legion made me swell with pride for her, though her dealings in Stormheim were mostly ?????huh??? and never really explained until years later... The cinematic of her versus Genn still gives me chills
HOWEVER I don't think Sylvanas is an author insert, she is a Mary Sue, and these are different things. There's Blizz writers going 'see! we always made her horribly evil!' in the background, but I kinda see it as Christie Golden just wanting to set up a villain and failing. I don't know if she ever... liked... Sylvanas? I know she's an Anduin stan. But I really can't tell if she picked out Sylvanas randomly or actually admired her character. You can really tell the transition of reins in the writing room from Metzen to Golden, though, going from Legion to BFA. In Legion she's still charming and sly, behind the scenes setting up for something, shown actually failing (the lantern Genn smashed), given critical time to be thoughtful (when Vol'jin died and she didn't know what to do with being given leadership) and just... a character, well done. In BFA she starts out immediately running to Teldrassil to genocide some people. EVERYONE in this fandom, game community, whatever - EVERYONE was ???????????!?!?!?!?!? WHAT??? to that. Blizz told us it was 'more than it seemed' and it never was. She torched it in wide viewing of everyone, dropping any tactics, killed her own people and ran off. WHAT???
And, as a Sylvanas stan, these are basically my quick thoughts after that:
- Lordaeron: I thought this was... fine in parts, bad in others. I thought it was stupid only Saurfang rebelled against her, and the rest of the Horde was seemingly blind to her just killing and resurrecting at random. Garrosh wasn't that long ago, and many Horde players would probably agree that the leadership should've come together much quicker to address it. Lor'theron even passively mentions it but never?? does anything?? Baine rebels but is never joined by any other leaders besides Saurfang and uh Anduin I guess. On Alliance side, I think the Blight should've been more serious, instead of Jaina just going 'oh poof we good now'. A lot of fanfic has addressed it instead, but Anduin really should have suffered from AT LEAST PTSD and a reminder that he's physically disabled. But I guess he's Golden's perfect little boy so he just... doesn't get hurt
- Darkshore: Lmao Blizz said 'Tyrande won' and never showed it. I hate that. I wish we had AT LEAST wounded Malfurion, if not killed him, and allowed Tyrande the full spotlight. Shadowlands seems to imply that the Alliance will abandon Tyrande for 'going crazy' and that's just sad, imo. We should've had a lot more focus on her and the Nelves, maybe at the same time as BoDA? Maybe instead of BoDA?
- The end of the campaign: I hate Saurfang. Lemme just get that out there. I hate him because he was forced into a very specific 'I am this opinion and that is my whole character' trope. I'm a Horde main and wanted to shut him up after the third cinematic of him whining about HONOR and the TRUE Horde. It just dragged on and on and nothing was interesting about him. When he got exploded, I GENUINELY laughed. It was so sudden. I clapped and laughed. I feel so bad that Blizz wanted me to like this dude so much that they made him unbearable and actually make me laugh at his death. Oof
- Shadowlands trailer: I love the guys whining about Bolvar losing. Yeah, Sylvanas is dumb OP, and I hate what they've done to her, but I think a lot of people miss the point that the Lich King ISN'T Arthas anymore. Bolvar is a whole different person we've barely seen fight. All we know is he was a paladin, was a weird surrogate dad to Anduin, almost died at Wrathgate, got tortured, apparently had a daughter he left behind and decided to sit on the Bad Chair and wear the Bad Helm 'cause he was basically dead anyways. If he had been more fleshed out, I could see the complaining as valid. But he was a goody paladin and hasn't ever really used the Lich King skillset. Sylvanas has been active forever, versus guy who hasn't, as far as we know
(Also, it would be really bad to end Sylvanas with any Lich King, imo. I know lots of people want her to die to Arthas again (despite him not being in the Shadowlands) but that's just really... not a good ending. It closes her story in a way that has no effect, you feel me? Just a crazy lady getting killed by a crazy dude and people wanting to celebrate the crazy dude. I think her ending would be best put in either the player's hands (as a raid boss maybe?) or a representation of the Horde, or the unity of Azeroth. And, ultimately, I think she's right about SOMETHING and just went about it wrong. The most satisfying conclusion would be for us to come together, kill her, and have us go ... oh shit she maybe had a point. That would at least close her out as not a 'totally crazy' character (we've had SO MANY of those I'm BORED) but not justify her actions, either. Too bad it's Blizz and they can't write for crap! I fully expect that Golden is just writing her as evil and OP as possible to prop against other characters. I mean, we got like ten cinematics of Saurfang. They really wanted us to like Saurfang. But it would be neat to pull the rug out a little and surprise us that, despite all their pushing of Sylvanas being completely unhinged, she did have some sort of good idea or goal buried in there somewhere)
OKAY THAT'S MY LIKE EIGHTY CENTS... Don't @ me if you wanna defend Blizz or Saurfang or Bolvar without... actually reading... :C
I hope I gave some good points and some people see clearly what I mean. Again, it's bad writing! It's SUCH bad writing! But I think the anger at Sylvanas is a little displaced sometimes and it's just... The writers are bad lmao
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charlyoddsox27 · 6 years ago
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its 6am, i havent slept, im bored, so im posting a list of the mercs in order of whom i like the most and reasons why, because thats something i should do i guess?
here goes
(spoilers for the comics down below but either way i think im the only person on earth who has never read them before now)
~~~
~~1. Medic~~
reasons for being my favourite:
• fucking. look. at. him. 👌
• 'mad german doctor' is one of my favourite tropes and he is a pretty bang-on satirical depiction of it
• cute-ass german accent
• he has pet pidgeons hE LOVES HIS PIDGEON PALS THEY KEEP HIM COMPANY
• healers are the most respectable class imo and since Medic pretty much started it he's automatically the best, thats how it works right?
• he sold some random persons soul to satan in exchange for a ***ballpoint pen*** and can i just say, fucking mood??? (he is literally the "i'd sell you to satan for one cornchip" meme)
• "yes, Archimedes...I couldn't agree more." *shudders* b oi .. .
• so many more reasons to love this gross old doctor so little room in Tumblrs posts.
~~2. Spy~~
reasons for being my second favourite:
• cranky, done with everyones shit, just wants to be left alone, fucking mood
• he's a spy i mean c'mon. look at the swanky-ass suit, look at the class radiating from this asshole.
• he may be a dick but he has a soft side he's just too jaded to show it most of the time (see: Scouts death in the comics?? real tears. honestly wish they'd panned that out more.)
• masks are hot tbFH--
• he enjoys a nice glass of whisky by the fireplace and so do i (fun fact: france is the biggest importer of scottish whisky in the world so its a nice touch)
• shapeshifting is fucking cool are you serious like he can just. do that. what a legend
• "i have a cyanide pill in one of my molars, if i break it then spit some in your mouth before i die, we can avoid being tortured." *'heavy' bursts in to save them* "PFFTHBTHF--"
• "SEDUCE ME."
• arrogant frenchman is one of my other favourite tropes and this is the most arrogant frenchman ive ever seen
• he's the only fully sane Merc, maybe apart from Engie.
• people love to hate him bc he's an asshole but...come on. after working with all those other weirdos for years, you'd be pretty jaded too.
• as a gross shipper, he's the easiest and the most fun (imo) to ship with Medic (rip me)
~~3. Pyro~~
reasons for being my third favourite:
• would have tied with Soldier if it werent for that one picture of them in the comics holding a puppy over their head with the most adoring expression on their mask??? good Pyro. goodest Pyro.
• doesn't do much in the comics but makes up for it in pure charm. look at that soulless face and tell me you dont love it.
• ambiguous gender ambiguous gender amBIGUOUS GENDER AMBIGUOUS GENDER. she/he/they? trans? nb? whatever you headcanon, it'll never be confirmed so its literally up to your own imagination. fucking ace, Valve 👌👌👌
• likes to burn things. god damnit. they like to burn things, guys. but they enjoy it so much, you just cant hate them, you can only feel a sympathetic joy that this precious lunatic is having fun in their own little world.
• canonically mentally ill (schizoprenia? it could be hallucinogenic drugs but i like to think its schizophrenia.)
• pretty sure they burned a pair of pedophiles in the comics. at least i think thats what those panels were insinuating. "lets open an orphanage and have an endless supply of kids to--" sounds pretty red-flaggy to me tbh. plus they were the villains so, eh?
• bludgeoned a bear to death until its skull was pulp because it insulted their special interest. you go, Pyro.
• for a few bits in the comics they have a really cute family dynamic going on with other Mercs, Soldier for example."Miss Pauling, Pyros on my side of the car." "Miss Pauling, Pyro cut off my hand." fuckin' cuties.
• when they start putting on like 50 shirts to keep warm in the Russian mountains. chubby.
• a gas mask that can function as both badass, and completely adorable.
• just. everything about them. how could you not love them. they're not in the wrong, you are. stay away from my misunderstood child and let them burn things god damnit.
~~4. Soldier~~
look I'm sorry, I love Soldier and he was gonna be tied with Pyro but that fucking puppy drawing sold me.
• absolute gold every second he speaks. he could sneeze and i'll laugh.
• such a dumbass you cant get annoyed at him for it. like. just agree with him and move on. no point reasoning with a boulder. "haha! silly Miss Pauling, thinking theres different types of blood." Medic: "haha yes! indeed, silly."
• HUTTAH *NECK SNAP*
• i'm not American and even i can see how blatantly his character mocks stereotypical Patriotic Americans™. but its so dumb and laughable, its adorable.
• EVERYTHING ABOUT HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH ZHANNA IS A BLESSING. EVERYTHING.
• the first "meet the Mercs" video i ever saw was "meet the Soldier" so he holds a special place in my heart
• (preaches about experiencing the horrors of war; has never actually been to war. shh dont tell anyone though--) *neck gets snapped*
~~5. Demoman~~
• I'm Scottish. even though his accent is absolute garbage (no offense to the VA), any representation is very nice.
• Black AND Scottish?? i mean has a character like that even existed before TF2??? amazing example of representation right there. there are barely even any black people in Scotland, how did this happen. I love it. more of this, please.
• he's a drunk guy who blows shit up for shits and giggles and god I wish I could too, sounds like a miracle stress-reliever.
• his sassy black scottish mother. combining the stereotypical black mother with the stereotypical scottish mother is literally the best thing that ever happened.
• the bit in the comic where Medic explains that Demo can't remember what happened to his eye bc he scooped out part of his brain, and the look on Demo's face. just. the look.
• again, he's scottish, he's stereotypical, and he's awesome.
~~6. Sniper~~
• underrated
• piss jars. piss jars everywhere.
• "no dad, im not a crazed murdering lunatic, I'm an assassin. ...well one's a job and the other's mental sickness!!"
• "meet the Sniper" has kickass music
• ruffled gross old man who isn't actually old, he's just seen some SHIT
• actually given development in the comics + some really good scenes with Spy.
• so suave...so...handsome. handsome ruffled bushman. me like.
• he dies first in the comics but gets brought back and gets a cool-ass scar. and then he's just walking around naked everywhere for the rest of the comic. Medic, where the fuck did you put his clothes.
• isn't actually Australian. thats like one of the biggest twists in the comic. "no wonder i was never inhumanly strong and my chest hair didn't grow into the shape of Australia!!" Classic.
• says "bugger" a lot and i love that word
• he needs a hug, let me hug him. and give him a bath.
~~7. Heavy~~
I'm gonna be crucified for putting the big lad so low but i promise i dont dislike any of the Mercs. he'd be higher up but...ive never really liked big huge tank-men tbh :/
• loveable as fuck
• will murder you if you bully his puny little Medic
• i looove Russian accents omfg
• he like big gun. i can respect that.
• when Medic was killed and he went APESHIT on Classic!Heavy and I lost my fuckin' mind over that shit
• he probably has a soft spot for small cute animals. i love imagining him being swarmed by Medics flock of doves and petting them like "good bird...so many good bird..."
• actually smarter than people give him credit for???
• i really really wish his character was a lil more fleshed out but. that's just me. i love him but he doesn't have the same appeal to me as Medic or Spy.
• his entire relationship with Medic...ugh. yes. best friends and/or boyfriends. all good to me 👌
• he named his gun Sasha and that's adorable
~~8. Engineer~~
• gOD, FUCK, I REALLY WISH HE DID MORE IN THE COMICS. i barely know anything about his character. i like him a lot but...god, he...he doesn't...do.....anything.......
• he built a cool robot arm for himself and AI turrets and teleporter machines and guns that fire magic healing powers and immortality machines, in the 1960s. what. some kind of wizard fuckery is this.
• smoothest voice in the west
• "y'all"
~~9. Scout~~
oh god i really am gonna be crucified. i dont hate him i just. like him the least.
• shitboy
• reminds me of a shitty ex but also kinda relateable in a way
• some genuinely funny bits in the shorts.
• gross horny hetero teen boy with a god complex and serious daddy issues. also, he can't read. the "sex bom" tattoo on his chest will be an eternal testament to that. nice job, Spy. you raised him good.
~~~
hoo boy there we go theres all the boys, all the beautiful boys (and Scout) in order of how much i love them. if i made any errors in my info about the canon, feel free to send me death threats 💙 (no seriously tell me though, being a newbie is embarrassing)
so uh. yeah. that took two hours to write. its now 8am. im still bored lol. bye i guess.
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mannatea · 6 years ago
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would love to hear your full hot take on Voltron s7 if you’re inclined to share
there HAS been a lack of salt in general on this blog, huh??
all right, FULL hot take on voltron s7. spoilers ahead. salt. hate. don’t click the readmore if you don’t wanna read it. it’s a disorganized mess also. i’m tired still. s7 drained my ability to write well--sucked it right out of me.
god, where do i even start? the season started out all right. the gameshow episode was fun! but as soon as we returned to earth things went straight into snoozemode. i was itching to turn it off and go back to finish s3 of miss fisher’s murder mysteries, because i just wasn’t that invested in watching just a couple more hours of a new season of voltron. and this after i’d just recently marathoned s1-6 with my husband. 
i spent half the time staring at my phone. my husband was on his tablet. we complained about how boring it was aloud. we paused to talk shit about it.
there were a few good things, but it seems to me most of them were at the very beginning of the season. liiiike romelle. my husband was ready to set sail on the s.s. hunk x romelle which was incredible. acxa? also good. KOSMO? the best character in this series now, hands down. notice how little of the good there was in this season? hm.
anyway like i said, as soon as we had to see earth again i was bored. i don’t even know how to organize all my thoughts on this, but i’ll try.
flashback scenes for days. boring.
i’m not saying i could write it better but imo it would have been way more interesting to toss the characters into the situation without the audience having a clue what they were walking into. let them act and be overwhelmed with us? 
i don’t care overmuch about sam holt let alone his wife. at first i was pretty okay with them because i’m all for fleshing out side characters, but in the end it was all pretty meh.
idk he was just right about literally everything and could do no wrong. boring.
admiral sanda is one of the worst-written cringey characters i’ve EVER had the displeasure of watching. 
the only relief i felt in her character was that she wasn’t fulfilling the latino hotshot trope by being a young latino man instead of an older woman. 
but making her an older woman didn’t actually make her interesting.
in fact, none of her motivations or actions made any sense. 
you’re telling me this bitch is super by the books but she believes sam holt enough to spend billions on developing new tech on nothing more than his word? okay
if she’s so by the books she should have remained entirely by the books the entire time.
if she believes sam enough to spend billions in manpower and materials to build this shit she probably believes sam enough to trust in his judgment re: military tactics.
seriously i hated this character beyond hate. her little ‘redemption’ arc was poorly done. her getting a photograph at the memorial was annoying. 
okay, i can take the latter as the military keeping up appearances. don’t want the population knowing you were betrayed by the, or one of the, highest ranking officers in the military. that’d be a very big yikes.
i find it eXTREMELY hard to believe this lady did all this and only realizes she was an idiot at the last second. 
whaT do you meAN you aREn’T keePINg yOur eNd of thE bARgaIN?
I MEAN COME ON SHE’S NOT 23 AND BRIMMING WITH NEW POWER OR LACK OF EXPERIENCE!!!
in other words she can’t possibly be that stupid. nobody over the age of 25 is that stupid, especially someone versed in warfare, in a universe that supposedly had a WWIII.
SERIOUSLY I HATED THIS CHARACTER and for some reason it pissed me off more that she was a woman instead of a crusty old white dude. maybe because, aside from the MFE pilots, there weren’t really any other female officers named and important?
sendak was a disappointing anticlimactic bore.
seriously he was a case of the doldrums.
i don’t know what i expected out of him, but he wasn’t conniving or interesting at all. this is a guy who let his own ships blow up just to get at his foe. i find it incredibly difficult to believe he wouldn’t have just blown that defensive base to dust.
yes, even at the risk of losing a ship.
let’s talk about adam, another useless husk of a character.
kill the gays stereotype in full effect. usually it’s lesbians. i guess good job on it being a guy who dies?
i love how the whole fandom stanned adam and then not only was he dead as fuck but he was pointless as fuck.
voltron writers eagerly watching the audience, tails thumping in a poor attempt at suppressed excitement, bodies practically wriggling like a dog waiting for the command to eat the treat balanced on its nose: TELL US WE DID GOOD!! TELL US WE’re GOOD BOYS!! VALIDATE US!!! WE INCLUDED TEH GAY!!!!
like bitch...y’all gave this away in advance AND FOR WHAT?
you know why. YOU KNOW. i know. WE ALL KNOW. it was just to try and earn representation points with the audience.
i hate rep points more than i hate a lot of things right now. it’s just so cringey. it’s just showrunners trying to get points for being ~progressive~ while never having to actually stick to being progressive on a continual basis lmao.
don’t get me wrong, i don’t give a SINGLE fuck about adam. i’m just mad he was touted at a convention and then ended up meaning abSOLUTELY nothing. no, shiro looking at his memorial plaque doesn’t change anything lmao.
look i’m not saying it makes his relationship with adam ‘less’. but i AM saying that making him an ex and also a dead ex means the creators don’t have to commit to continuing to deal with shiro’s sexuality, whether it’s gay, bi, or pan. they can just avoid addressing it or writing it at all. because this isn’t a romance series. they just shove adam into a figurative and literal casket and want their pats on the back. which, uhhhhh they’re not gonna get from me. adam isn’t progressive. adam’s boring.
all the action in the last four or so episodes? dull. insipid. uninspired. i’m out of insults. i just don’t care about these mfe fighters. earth is almost wiped out. am i supposed to still be caring about it?
that yawn-worthy last stand speech had me wanting to take The Long Sleep like sendak cares if you put up a fight or not. you’re all weaklings. ‘we’ll go down swinging’ is as old as the hills. i don’t know what i needed instead of this, but this wasn’t.
there was a bRIEFLY good moment with hunk but like
how convenient that everyone’s families are alive lol
or at least hunk’s parents and lance’s entire extended family
that annoyed me idk. they’re going for this gritty shit where almost everyone is dead but then pull that?
ya lost me.
on the PLUS side the little scene with keith trying to be of comfort was nice. if anyone Gets It, keith does. and then he tries to help hunk too, which i liked a lot.
but it didn’t detract enough from the Boring of the episodes to really feel good to me. sorry.
hi i’m shiro and i’m sick. i’m so sick. the sickest. but i’m going into space anyway!!!
did i miss something or did shiro’s mysterious sickness just never mean anything?
did the galra cure it? that’d be interesting character stuff.
speaking of shiro, his hover arm is weird and i hate it.
what was with allura giving him her crystal thing? is that ever going to mean anything or was it useless too?
ATLAS is now a giant robot??? what
haha sam holt built this but didn’t know it could do this? don’t fucking??? pull that??? it makes me want to die. it’s so bad. it’s CRINGEY
he’s the enGINEER!! he’d know!! if it was capable of even 50% of that!!!
haha it’s magic
shut the fuuuck up magic needs to still be explained!!!!
where are the citizens and crew on this robot anyway like you do realize they’d be dead from the force of it moving around and probably getting rattled around inside the ship right?
they’ve got a massacre in the hold to clean up when this is over.
the super robot that was like massively strong and shit?
yeah let’s DBZ it up i guess and create antagonists that are exponentially stronger as if that’ll maintain the audience’s attention lmaooooo
it was boring and the reveal at the end with the altean was boring. who cares. i don’t.
i hated the attempt at a wholesome reunion looK IT’S TEAMWORK EVERYONE WORKING TO  G E T HER!!!! 
shay showing up to hug hunk WITH HER BROTHER was the only wholesome thing about it
i dunno it just seemed kind of forced to me. oh look how the paladins were lucky enough to keep their families!! what about the rest of earth. now none of the paladins can even really relate to it. it’s depressing. :/
i dunno. the beginning was promising! and interesting! and maybe even fun. but the earth’s last stand stuff was dull. i think because it was so rushed it lacked the balance of humor that has made the show worth watching. and there were cute fun MOMENTS in the later episodes of the season (re: kosmo, “i gotta get me one of these”), but it wasn’t enough to balance out how dull the rest of it was.
if there’s anything i missed talking about, let me know and i can add it/make another post. but right now this is my current salt. 
i mean mostly my opinion is:
wow that was a waste of my time.
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themoulinblue · 7 years ago
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AMERICAN HORROR STORY: CULT
The story:
I have many issues with the story this year but in general terms it was ok. For some reason, American Horror Story hasn’t topped its better season "Asylum", with 7 seasons already; there’s something missing.
American Horror Story: Cult, starts with election night focused in the two lead characters Kai Anderson and Ally Mayfair-Richards, one is Republican and the other is Democratic. We already knew this and we also knew that the main plot wouldn’t be the elections, the main plot is kinda the chaos that came after that.
Anyways, this season has good things and bad things IMO. It has good moments, good episodes, but overall is predictable, this supposed to be a realistic season with non supernatural elements but at some point it’s not realistic at all.
The first episode wasn’t memorable, there’s Kai trying to raise his position now that Trump is the winner and Ally fighting being terrorized by her phobias, isn’t really clear at the beginning if this is in her head or it’s really happening. The thing is that Sarah’s character being chased and scared is not something new, her character last season did the same thing and probably that’s why people were complaining about it. Obviously, things change after a few episodes and we get to meet a new Ally (Thank God)
Anyways, I have to say that I love the episodes “Neighbors from Hell” “Holes” “Mid-Western assassin” and “Drink the Kool-Aid” those for me were the better ones, it had some plot twist… there’s others I liked but not as much a the ones I mentioned.
I think one of the problems with this season is the consistency, we have great episodes and then we have the Valerie Solanas episode that IMO was unnecessary, why? It was too long, was her story really important for the main plot? I don’t think so, the other cults were short flashbacks but for some reason they dedicated a whole episode to Valerie Solanas, I didn’t get that. They let us know Bebe, yeah ok, so? Apparently she was the Queen Bee but died when we found out she was the Queen Bee. For me it was so unrealistic that in the first session with Kai she managed to convince him to create a crazy cult and Kai immediately accepted and did what she wanted and I was like what? Why don’t explore that and show us how she slowly got into Kai’s head? It’s unbelievable that in one session you can make someone to open to you in that deep level, like come on.
The motivations: to be honest, the characters had weak motivations, (I want to talk about every character but this is like a general point of view) when a character do something, you always ask to yourself why is this person doing this? And of course, you are waiting for a reasonable explanation. I wasn’t convinced at all of their motivations to create chaos, Ivy hating on Ally, Winter being Kai’s minion… I only believed Ally, because like it or not, she had real reasons to become the cold ass bitch she was at the end. I see Kai and I have nothing but hate for him, there must be a realistic reason for this young man that used to be a good person in general that actually helped people to scape from this crazy Christian fanatic to become a crazy ass psychopath that decided that killing innocent people in order to be city council man was a good idea, and don’t tell me that a Trump supporter will listen to a woman and make all this for women to lead because that’s bull shit. Even when he changed his mind at the end and decided that he was a misogynist asshole and he was the one with the right to become the leader, sorry but still… not very good motivations. Also Ivy’s motivations, really? I mean? Girl, getting divorced and having shared custody was way more easy than terrorize your wife and exposing your son to all that cruel shit.
I also saw that many people said “this doesn’t look like American Horror Story” well, that’s true and you wanna know why this doesn’t look like AHS anymore? The cinematography, we had Michael Goi as cinematographer for 5 seasons and yeah I can agree that the cinematography in Roanoke was beautiful Nelson Cragg did an amazing job. The thing is, Michael Goi knows better the AHS universe, I don’t even know why Ryan decided to let him go, the cinematography this season was BORING, I don’t know who made it, (someone please let me know) for me, it looked like a lifetime movie, sorry but this is the true.
Michael knows the narrative style, the aesthetic, Accomplishing a visual differentiation between time periods was one of the many aesthetic elements of previews seasons, this season was almost the same, you could see a little difference with the cult flashbacks but the aesthetic wasn’t good so it didn’t look great. Michael used to make different lighting for the same space trying not to duplicate the same representation of that space, but keeping the consistency so the audience could recognize the space. He also tried to emphasizes the dramatic moments so the audience could see the story’s arcs (I’m kinda quoting Michael here, I read this somewhere and I found it very fascinating) I didn’t see any of this in Cult, I mean AHS is well known for its consistency between the cinematography, set design and wardrobe.
Another thing was that we couldn’t enjoy the sets, the camera was almost always over the characters, I didn’t get to see the Butchery on Main for example, or Ally’s house, I wanted to know the space, I wanted to see the set decoration, there were master shots of the set in AHS and in Cult we didn’t get any. The frames in previews seasons were so beautiful and here it was I don’t know so normal, so… boring and if there were some master shots I’m sorry but I don’t remember, it means it weren’t epics at all. I just remember the way they showed us the Murder House, The Asylum, The Academy, The camp in Freak Show, The Hotel and even the Mansion in Roanoke. I miss that.
The Characters:
There’s a rule in American Horror Story, everyone pays for what they do. Yeah kai died, almost everyone died, so let’s say most of them paid but not Ally, yeah she was terrorized in the first episodes but she was a murderer and what happened to her doesn’t compare with what happened to Lana for example, Do you really think that Lana is actually happy? She’s not, she killed her son and she will have to live with that and we can see that in the final episode, even when she has a good life she’s still haunted for her past and her choices, that’s a good way to pay, Ally didn’t have any kind of remorse. Ivy deserved to die, yeah and I really enjoyed the way she died and for me it was more than fair that Ally was the one to kill her but she was the mother of her son, she was her wife and she lied about her death. So, Ally getting away with that wasn’t ok for me, everyone in this season deserved to pay, it would be awesome if Kai could expose her before his death, Ally in jail and finally everything will be fine for those innocent people out there at least for a while.
Kai Anderson: like I said before, his motivations were weak, I compare Kai with Frank Underwood in HOC (let’s forget about KS for a while and let’s focus in the character) this character is so well written, in this case I wanted to be on Kai’s side like I am with the Underwoods. This is how you write an antihero and even more if this antihero is the leader of a cult, let us love him for a while and then let us open our eyes and see how awful this character is, he was the clear villain and that’s predictable, we hated him since the beginning so when he dies it’s not shocking at all because yeah he was the villain. I never found Kai relatable or charismatic, some random guy with blue unwashed hair that lives in his parents basement would never convince me to follow him as a leader and even less to kill for him, I would run away as fast as I can, so his little monologues to convince people were so cheesy and so “seriously, are you gonna believe that shit?” he convinced in literally 10 minutes someone he barely knew to kill like… that’s not how it works, you have to be so dumb to fall for that. Also, I think that picking just one Cult leader to be your idol would be enough instead of passing for all those cult leaders (this is just me, like I said, personal opinion, if you disagree, that’s ok, people like different things)
Ally: probably the best development, even when I hated the fact that she got away with her crimes, I have to accept that her transformation was really good, I understand that you can’t get over your phobias over night but come on, we have only 11 episodes… there’s no time to be realistic here, so yeah, it was great to see Ally leaving her old self behind and becoming a totally new person, we really needed this, and that was very well done. Now I understand why she joined the cult and everything because they explained it, and I’m so grateful for that. I have to say that her motivations were very real, she wanted her son, this people tortured her and she needed to tear that cult apart. But, I don’t think she’s a feminist, she was selfish and to be honest you could see that she was thinking in herself and not her son, she uses her fame for her own gain, sorry not a feminist. Also if she was with the FBI why did she kill speedwagon? She could use him to help her? Another innocent died and she had not remorse. And please don’t say that Lana did the same with her fame because Lana deserved all that, she was rape, she was in the asylum only for being gay, she got electroshock, she got her rapist baby, she was tortured in a basement I mean come on… do not compare Ally with Lana. That’s way I say Ally deserved to pay for her crimes too, otherwise her winning is predictable.
Ivy: I really wish Ryan could give us for the first time a healthy couple, it’s not that hard… I was rooting for Ivy, I refused to believe that Ryan would be this predictable by making her the bad one, after that I hated her a lot (I love Alison Pill, tho, great job) I mean, her motivations, JESUS H. CHRIST (let’s quote Constance Langdon) girl, getting a divorce it’s easier than killing people and torturing your wife and son, you hated her because she was the biological mother and because she voted for someone you didn’t like? And also you spend 10 years hating her without saying a word and pretending everything was fine when it wasn’t? you made yourself miserable and that’s not Ally’s fault, in a relationship people talk, people say how they feel, why don’t do that? So yeah, you deserved to die because you were a two faced bitch. Also, the cliché part… you cheated on Ally with the nanny… wow… original. I hope she’s in the next season, tho.
Winter: when I saw Winter’s poster I said, this character will be epic, sorry it wasn’t, she was just a minion and never took a side, she only got 2 scenes to shine and that was unfair, I also was doubting about Billie’s acting skills because she had always the same expression for every situation, the same monotone voice, Winter was boring and that’s a fact, when she died I was ok with it because for me she wasn’t relevant (Not Billie’s fault) she was really good in 2 episodes tho, so I hope to see her next season with a most interesting character.
The Wiltons: how to have a good couple and ruin it in two episodes, my fave was Meadow, she was funny and Leslie was awesome, Billy had his moments too… I love the second episode just because of them, and I enjoyed seeing their background, too sad that Meadow died too soon because I really loved the episode with her and Ally, I don’t have anything wrong to say. Good characters.
Dr. Vincent: I was shocked when I found out he was Kai’s brother and I’m glad he didn’t know anything about the cult, because once you get to know that he was related to Kai and Winter you immediately think that he was part of everything since the beginning, I was happy I was wrong, but I did find cruel that Ally let Kai to kill him, he was innocent and didn’t deserved it but I guess we are used to see Ryan sacrificing characters to advance in the story line… so it’s fine.
Samuels: he was irrelevant… let’s move on
Gary: nothing to say about him, he was another peon, her death was unnecessary, but ok.
Oz: this child was amazing, I loved when he called out Kai, that was awesome, he was super smart and I’m sorry he had those mothers, but again… parents in AHS sucks, just look at Constance, The Harmons, The Lowes, Fiona etc. I would love to see him again, such a talented child.
Berverly Hope: I think she made sense, I’m glad she didn’t die because she was a victim, and I’m so glad she was the one who killed Kai, I think she deserved that in order to move on with her life, she was the only one that actually tried to do something, I enjoyed Bev a lot.
Bebe Rabbit: uhmm, I love Franny and I’m so sorry she had to play this character.
So, in conclusion, this season isn’t bad but isn’t good either, it’s in the middle and it’s almost in the bottom of my list, I don’t think this is the kind of season I would watch again (same with Hotel) it had its moments but it’s not better than Asylum like many people have said, it’s not even close.
PD: I’m pressed because Lily Rabe wasn’t in this season, the holy trinity of AHS is dead… I’m so tired that Ryan doesn’t give the recognition she deserves, I want her as the lead and I want her alive.
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ashleylikeshorror · 5 years ago
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“Life Doesn’t Have to be Perfect. It Just Has to be Lived.” | Blog
It’s been a very boring day for the most part, but also a very relaxing day. Well, about as relaxing as a day spent with a headache can be. I started off my day with the perfectly disturbed 83′ film, Angst. I’m hoping to do a full post on the film later, as in my mind, for any fan of horror, this is truly a must see. 
After Angst ended I decided to go for something less intense and decided to unwind in the world of Rob Zombie’s “31″ again. Due to the recent discussion in Dreadit over Sheri Moon Zombie, it was one of the motivating reasons for me to revisit the film. Bluntly speaking, I’m not the biggest Sheri Moon fan. When it comes to the films she’s been in (that I’ve seen), I can’t say she’s the best fit for every role she’s been casted in, but in the realm of RZ movies she’s part of the package, so there’s truly no point in bitching. I will say I absolutely enjoy her as Baby Firefly; enough to name one of my dogs “Baby” at least (RIP you cute fluffball).   Now, here I sit, browsing forums, Tumblr, refreshing Facebook a million times - bored. 
Getting to the chase, this “what I did today” post wasn’t intended to be so. It was intended to be a Dexter appreciation post since it’s that time to binge the series for the millionth time. 
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There’s been multiple discussions about whether Showtime’s series “Dexter” is actually horror or not. Most people go by only what it’s described as on IMDB, and stand strong that it’s only a drama, or crime series. I agree. It is a drama. It is a crime series. It’s also a horror.  
What about a psychopath who has the constant urge to kill since youth isn’t horror? Is that only considered horror when it’s Michael Myers? What about a man being haunted (using that term loosely) by his deceased father telling him what to do in his plot to murder people isn’t horror? What about hunting down another human being with the intention of capturing them, drugging them, then waiting for them to wake up naked and restrained on a slab before you murder them isn’t horrifying? Sure, those being caught are murderers themselves, but that doesn’t make the point moot. Dexter "plays” with his subjects, just as much as they “play” with him. All the while everyone around Dexter, unknowing of his double life, are interacting with a man who butchers humans and considers himself doing the world a service (which is debatable). Dexter is very much a horror series. Just because there’s more shit than blood and guts going on in it, doesn’t mean it isn’t. 
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Only just right now in this repeat playthrough of mine am I on episode four (which is playing while I type this) of season one. Knowing what lies ahead, it’s quite bittersweet. I don’t want to see certain people go again. I definitely don’t want to see that painful for all the wrong reasons eighth season. (Seriously, Showtime, ya did the Dexter fanbase dirty with that one.) Mostly, I don’t want to go through that inevitable moral struggle of relating to Dexter all over again. 
Michael C. Hall does a spot on job with his representation of Dexter Morgan. The complexity of the character at hand, a man who self-diagnosed himself as “having no emotion”, as well as feels confused, frightened by any emotion he encounters, is no small feat for an actor to master when it’s changing at the flip of a switch. The only other person in a Showtime series to make a master craft out of a constantly changing persona would be Toni Colette in United States of Tara. (One of the reasons why she excelled in Hereditary.)  Hall’s portrayal of the show’s antagonist, the show’s “monster hunting monster”, in the midst of the never resting city of Miami is as surreal as it is pleasing to watch.
There’s plenty of characters to lighten the mood of the show, providing dark comedy or just a stellar on screen performance, that compliment Dexter’s daytime acting job, such as his foul mouthed sister Deb Morgan, and coworkers Masuka, Batista, and LaGuerta, not to mention the meme spawning portrayal of Erik King as Doakes. The most intriguing of these characters (imo) being the one who knows Dexter in and out, and despite passing on has never left his side. I’m referring to James Remar as Harry Morgan, Dexter’s father; the man who, for better or worse, sculpted our character into the person he is today.  Harry trained Dexter how to deal with his urge to kill, what to watch out for, as well as how to “be normal” or “fit in”. Even after dying ten years prior to the first season, Harry constantly interacts with Dexter throughout the series providing advice to his son no matter if Dexter is willing to listen or not. Whether you consider his way of addressing his son’s issue, his homicidal tendencies, as him being a good father or not, is another discussion for another time. However, I think we all agree that outside of Dexter, Harry is the most spellbinding, peculiar character throughout the entire series. 
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It’s about time I wrap this up. 
If you haven’t seen Dexter, watch it. It’s a genuinely intriguing show and features some phenomenal work from actors both mentioned and unmentioned (shout out to John Lithgow as Arthur, season four). With Dexter’s daytime job as a forensics crew member, the constant hopping around from crime scene to crime scene provides many demented yet beautiful scenes for you to gawk at and look forward to each season. Depending on how you look at it, each killer throughout the series is twistedly brilliant in their own right, just as Dexter is. It’s absolutely fascinating getting to go on both the hunt with Dexter, as well as take a trip into the mindset of those he’s hunting.  It’s worth repeating; if you haven’t seen Dexter, it’s on Netflix, it’s on Hulu, go watch it. If you’re more of a reader, the series was based of the books by Jeff Lindsay. 
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karuuhnia · 4 years ago
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Update: So, I decided to watch Korra after all.
Here’s my review lol (spoiler alert):
It started out pretty promising. The world was definitely a lot different from Aang’s time, even though not even 100 years had passed, but I could live with that. The premise of benders vs. non-benders was fairly interesting too.
Season 2 was pretty good too, at least in the beginning. Then it ended in two magical giants possessed by swirly kites fighting against each in the water. I couldn’t take it seriously anymore.
Season 3 was probably the best in a way? My only gripe was that suddenly there were way too many people with unique bending powers. And how did Zaheer become a more powerful Airbender than Korra or Tenzin with little to none training and sitting in prison for 13 years? And what happened to the Red Lotus anyway? They were never heard from again. Oh well.
Season 4 was absolute crap imo. Way too much mecha shit on the one hand. And on the other hand all of the main characters seemed so plain and boring compared to the earlier seasons. And the most time they spent separated anyway. Not that any of them had an outstanding character arc or personality previously. Hell, Varrick or that Earth Prince guy had more development than all the main characters together. XD
Speaking of the main characters: I couldn’t really warm up to any of the new Team Avatar. They never really felt as close or tight-knit as Aang and his friends. I do like Bolin for his comic relief role and I think I like Asami too, but she was just so... insignificant to the story most of the time? In the beginning I thought she wasn’t even part of the core Team Avatar, but more like a recurring side-character like Suki from the original series. I don’t know why Asami stuck around them anyway. Considering all the bullshit romance crap in the first two seasons she should HATE Korra and Mako and never want to be around them again. lol
That’s why I was utterly flabbergasted when Korra and Asami ended up together. I did not in a million years see that coming. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for the normalisation of same-sex relationships and representation etc., but these two ladies barely spoke to each other during the series. To me it made about as much sense as if Korra had suddenly decided to date General Iroh. 🤷‍♀️ 
Oh well, anyway: My final verdict on The Legend of Korra: It was... ok. I did like some of the characters (mainly Tenzin and his family, I would watch a whole series about them!!!) and I enjoyed a big portion of the show, but unfortunately it was not nearly as good as the original and the final season was a huge letdown in general.
Should I watch the Legend of Korra?
I just saw that the show is on Netflix in my country now.
As a HUGE fan of the original show I’m torn: On the one hand I would love to return to the Avatar universe, but on the other hand I’ve heard a lot of negative things about the sequel (unlikable main character, a lot of bs romance stuff etc.).
So I don’t know what to do. :(
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commodorecliche · 8 years ago
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This is out of the blue, but I could use some advice. I'm pretty sure I'm straight(girl), but whenever I see couples on tv, I cheer for basically every queer couple, and with het couples I'm like meh. I also really like looking at girls pics on tumblr but usually I'm comparing myself to them (I'm terribly insecure) or admiring how pretty they are. I feel like I could be bi, but coming from a hella conservative family, that scares the shit outta me.
Hey hun! I totally just saw this so I hope I didn’t keep you waiting for long. 
I’ll be honest with you, friend, you sound a lot like how I was when I was younger and still figuring out my sexuality. I don’t want to generalize your sexuality, because everyone is different and everyone experiences their sexuality differently. But the things you’ve mentioned really do sound a lot like me before I realized I was bi. 
(As far as cheering for queer couples on TV goes, that doesn’t necessarily mean anything other than that you’re supportive of positive queer couple representation and that you’re aware enough to be bored of the constant barrage of generic, forced het couples that are on TV. IMO that isn’t necessarily an indicator of your personal sexuality.)
But I mean, I’m 26 now - I lived about 17-18 years of my life thinking I was straight (just with a whole bunch of girl crushes). I liked looking at pictures of attractive guys and girls (and like you, when I would look at pictures of girls, I would find them beautiful but would also compare myself to them, because I’m also very insecure about how I look - I remember reading a post on here that basically said that growing up being attracted to women, but not registering that it was attraction can be weird because you wind up fixated on women, enjoying looking at them, but at the same time feeling insecure and competitive with them), I had tonnnnnns of instances of “I’d go gay for this female celebrity”, I enjoyed porn of both m/f and f/f, I would even sometimes have dreams about kissing other girls (with a similar frequency that I would have them about kissing boys too). 
It was only when I was 19, and in college, and started to develop a crush on one of my female friends that I started to realize I might not be as 100% straight as I thought I was. But at the same time, I was sure that this was something everybody went through - that it was normal for straight girls to have crushes on other girls, to experience attraction to other girls, and that it didn’t necessarily mean anything or make me any less straight. 
It was only once I got a little more involved here on tumblr - and thus got more exposure to the actual concepts of bisexuality and got exposure to actual bisexuals - that I began to understand bisexuality better and to actually see myself more in those concepts. You’ll notice that IRL, bisexuality is made out to be either ridiculously sexual (like being an excuse for threeways), made out to be just girls looking for attention from guys (this goes hand in hand with the sexualization of bisexuality), or made out to be just a halfway point to “picking a side” (”oh he says he’s bi, but he’s really just gay.” or “she says she’s bi, but we all know she just wants to get guys’ attention, she’s really just straight”). Being on this site helped me to actually understand bisexuality, to understand that girls who identify as straight don’t typically get crushes on other girls or imagine other girls sexually. It helped me understand too that bisexuality isn’t a clear cut line between “I 50% like guys and I 50% like girls” - that degrees of attraction to genders can vary from person to person (for example, I’m bisexual with a bit greater preference for men)
I was lucky in that I didn’t grow up with conservative parents. (A lot of my extended family is conservative and closed minded, but I don’t really have to deal with them, and they didn’t raise me.) I was lucky in that regard. But I did grow up in the south, and I still live in the south, where bisexuality is seen as either slutty/attention whorish or is seen as being sinful, so I’m not really out to many people in my day to day life. And I understand your anxiety about even the possibility of being bisexual. 
However, what’s important is just understanding yourself. It isn’t your family’s business if you don’t want it to be. Keep it from them if you feel that will be best, but give yourself time to figure yourself out and better understand who you are. It’s your business and not theirs; it isn’t their business until YOU decide that they should be involved. It’s 100% okay to be unsure, to not have it figured out, to still be in the process of learning who you are and your sexuality. 
Look at me. I didn’t “formally�� realize I was bisexual (and label myself as such) until I was 25 years old. That was just one (1) year ago. I spent 17-18ish years of my life thinking I was 100% straight, I spent another 5-7 years just questioning and figuring myself out. 
I reblog a good bit about bisexuality and such and always tag it as either “#bisexuality” or “#bi bi bi” (because shut up I love nsync), so please feel free to browse through those tags. I know that a lot of the information I reblog and talk about was stuff that really helped me learn who I am and understand my sexuality much better. 
This got super long, I’m sorry, and I think I kind of rambled a lot. But I hope some of this was helpful… Take care, nonnie. And remember that it’s okay to not have things figured out, and it’s okay to not advertise your sexuality to your family if you don’t feel safe/comfortable doing so. 
Message me any time, you know I’m always here to chat. 
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bizmut · 7 years ago
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Someone recommended Magicians to me. I was procrastinating so I started watching them. Was not impressed, my thoughts about the first two episodes (with spoilers) are under the cut. But now this clip is making me interested again ... Do any followers have any thoughts about the show?
S01, E01&E02: A skinny white guy able-bodied protagonist - I'm bored already. Getting treatment for mental illness - cool. Why is he at a party he hates? Ok, it's in his house, that makes sense - kind of. Supporting woman/man friendship - it's getting better. Elliot - flamboyant, therefore very likely gay. Looks promising, but could turn out to be a 2D stereotype. Depression just being the consequence of not living in the magical world - fuck you. FUCK YOU. F U C K  Y O U. How the fuck did that cut on her arm prevent Juliet forgetting everything? It makes no sense. Is Alice supposed to come across as shy and "modest"/repressed (therefore - to be sexually liberated by the protagonist)? The set-up feels that way but women who want to not be noticed don't wear short skirts and heels to class. Maybe that isn't the intention, we'll see. Other two classemates are hot. They both look a bit queer, they could have an interesting dynamic. Oh, they get together immediately. Colour me shocked (not). Still better than drawing out boring and obvious het pining in the background of the show. Julia abandoning everything and everyone in her life for magic - wtf? It feels OOC. She seems too driven and determined to let things fall apart. Quentin apparently not being in contact enough to realize that - c c c. Though I get it, life gets overwhelming. Good of him to show up despite being fairly useless to her. Sexual assault - !!! NOT OK. Fuck the creators, there are many ways to make someone feel threathend, why choose this? FUCK YOU. Was very tempted to stop watching. Probably would have if the recommendation wasn't personally tailored to me. But I am not happy. Julia going with the guy after this - WTF??? She would not. No woman would imo. I could understand if she took a few days to think and rationalized in her head as a demonstration but to leave with a complete stranger 2 minutes after he forcibly undressed her and tied her to a radiator? No way. If he exists, so do other magicians - she could find someone else. Didn't mention earlier - how does Quentin recognize the woman as the character from the book? Does it have illustrations or does she somehow magically look just like in his imagination? They are in a magic school, shouldn't they do a bit more research befor casting rituals involving the dead? The attack is creepy but makes no sense. What did the attacker want? Julia and Marina getting locked in the cooler - I saw that coming a mile away, they shlould have too - after all, the guy has already proven he will harm them to provoke their magic. It's OOC for Julia to be so stupid. And why are they walking around the cooler? They should try to move the lock/door, they know moving things with magic is possible. They don't know any rituals or potions, ingredients won't help them. Alice is a woman, she must be interested in clothes! And being called a Puritan in that skirt and heels? I don't think so. The guy gets to talk about his feelings and guilt and the girl gets alcohol and an interrogation even though they went through the same shit. The phone numbers are a code? How stupid are they? They want magic from you! The first black guy died after 5 minutes on screen, the second is an animated body. Wonderful representation. The kids were real, one thing explained at least. Are Kady and Alice wearing very simmilar necklaces? They actually find a written useful spell. ... Good thing she speaks French. Why did Julia take off her hat? How did no one notice them stealing in the frat house? How did they know where to look and what to take? She is the leader, a twist I like. Oh, Kady ... The Specialist reminds me of the book girl.
All things considered, too many characters and too many things that don’t make sense. I might return to E03 if I’m very bored ...
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One of the best representations of geek culture ever on screen.
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