#imma throw myself off s bridge bye-

[riikiblr]

why did i even say i wanted to do this??? i hate writing essays 😀

[49scribes-a]

Time for Dick Shots.

Kit just is a butt. He's a butt.

wE AREN'T DOING THIS HERE.

Are you two talking smack about me just cuz I can't understand Tibetan?

What else are foreign languages good for? Just ask Lavi.

A lot of shit happened.

A LOT of shit.

Its bookman. A much happier bookman. Also a much taller bookman.

LAUGHS. RIP BOOKMAN. Wait. I better not say that.

As soon as that tank pops up I'm just gonna be "Nope, not gonna do this guys, not today."

NOT TODAY.

Not in the stars.

I love this area... up until Furry McFuckGoat.

Who is furry mcfuckgoat?

You'll find out who Furry..... mcfuckgoat is.

Ur in for a good time.

WOw this ice water is so pretty just... ROLL IN IT. Its just so pretty.

*sighs* I'm the reason Nathan dies guys cuz I gave him hypothermia.

How the fuck--

OH JESUS.

Y'know its a good thing none of these icicles have come off and fallen cuz otherwise you'd get skewered to hell.

*gasps* I DIED. THere it is I KNEW it.

Across. Across? ITS NOT ACROSS.

I Tarzan'd my ass right down the chasm.

Was that Furry McFuckgoat?

They're coming. Soon.

o h g o d.

*sings* More water that's cold as Hell~ HYPOTHERMIA~!!

HEEEEY. THERE THEY ARE.

Nope. Stay away from me. I don't wanna get hit. *SQUEELS*

OH GOD NO JESUS--

*sings* Get the Hell away from meee--*squeals* NO.

Oh dear lord-- I GOT STUCK.

DIE. PLEASE DIE.

MEMO TO ME. MEMO TO ME. DO NOT GO INTO THAT CORNER.

AH--

SWEET JESUS CHRIST

*gasps* you'RE A DIIICK.

ANGERY GOAT MAN.

OOoooh my god. My chest hurts. From the panicking.

SO ANGERY GOAT PEOPLE.

We can look at how weird they are-- okay I'm gonna look at how weird they are by myself then.

Guess we're gonna meet the whitewalkers guys.

"Its so pretty" til you died to dead.

What if the bookmen had like secret vault or whatever that were insanely complicated to get into like this?

That or just Bookman gracefully jumps around shit and Lavi struggles with it.

Nah he got them magnificent rabbit legs. He Jomp.

Bookman, shoving Lavi into a training course: Oops.

Lavi its time for you to learn an important lesson on being a bookman: Hardcore Parkour.

I get a bridge and its just like: No your bridge breaks.

(bookman voice) today is the day you learn to fly, boi. Go.

"Learn how to fly boi" wow is this Lord of the Rings?

WOOOW okay I don't know how that happened but I'm gonna take it.

RIP Nate. May he forever grace the afterlife with his vibrating.

Yeah there's the fun way out of here.

Furry McFuckgoat brought his friends.

Yank that motherfucker.

JEEESUS WHERE THE SHIT-- WHERE DID THAT EVEN COME FROM.

I-- somehow avoided that.

Theeey'rre heeerrreee. Angery goat people.

Death by Dickshot

You missed Furry McFuckGoat, but not the tank.

Tanks for the headsup~ *wink wink*

Wanna know what I did all day today? Too bad bc Imma tell you anyway.

HQ to Bianca -- HQ to Bianca -- we have lost contact.

You're not fancy.

Fucking twirl. Exactly.

Took that like a champ!

FuCK. I dropped the gun that I didn't want to drop.

Wow you had to throw the gun that way?

Are you dead?

Peek your head out. I'm pretty sure you're still alive.

FUCKING EAT IT SHITHEAD.

Wow that was a fucking wake-up call.

NO, BYE, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ALIVE. Thanks for the grenade, I need it a lot more than you.

Oh my god did you hear them? They're like "OH MY GOD".

Is that it? Yyeeeaaa no its not.

OVERSHOT IT, but whatever, so long as you die. Byye.

Are those bullets? yeeeah. Are those grenades? YEEEAAAAH.

WHO-- WHAT--

LOOK AT THAT. ITS THE TANK. GUESS WHO'S GONNA PLAY KINGDOM HEARTS? IT ME. BECAUSE NOPE. NOT TODAY.

NO YOU SEE THIS SHIT THROUGH TO THE END.

ZIG ZAG.

Oh... I don't like that metal on metal sound.

I think that was a kidney shot I'm not 100% sure.

Oblivion. You're going to oblivion.

Wrong game.

ROLL. ROLL A LOT-- damn it.

God damn I do not appreciate being shot at.

Come on I would think RPG is fucking universal language do you have an RPG?!

Watching Bianca shoot people is like watching her play duck hunt. (Insert annoying dog laughter at every miss).

Was that overkill? Maybe. Do I care? No.

*high pitched* AAAAIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

ZIG ZAG TIME.

FHAAAK MY LIFE YOU ASSHLE.

Its a tank, how scary can a cow on wheels be?

Hijack it. Hijack it and conquer your fears.

He went places.

RPG? PLEASE? RPG. GUYS.

RPG! NOPE. Its mine now.

Yoink.

Dramatic ass death. Clutching his chest as if he just got dumped by his baby blue.

Noice shooting Tex.

Okay he died. That's great.

Gottarun gottarun gottarun gottarun gottarun.

Its only death, Bianca, walk it off.

Oh wanna know what I learned about myself yesterday? Too bad again bc Imma tell you anyway -- again.

How to kill an edgyboi trying to be an asshole in less than 3 seconds -- not take his insult as an insult.

OO-- AA--

We were beginning to think the 8 year old went feral and ate you.

Hey you never know. He might just do it one day.

Anyway-- they kept passively trying to get me to fuck off and I just... I just didn't and they eventually just chilled out and let me play without being dicks about it.

Children are statistically more likely to eat you than an adult.

Children are scary things.

I can believe it.

The entire time they were eating your fucking organs everyone else would be saying "AWWWW SO CUTE".

C A R N A G E.

Married people are wild, man.

I DON'T KNOW IF I WANNA DO THIS TODAY, I mean... first the tank, and then the cars, although the cars... I just... fucked them up. Just fucked them up, right off a cliff.

The couch is trying to eat me.

Oops-- YOU DIDN'T SEE /SHIT/.

Just threw Nate off the side of the cliff.

Took him out Achilles style.

WHAT WWOoooooooo.

Dodged that by the hair of your balls.

Let me see if I can... shove you... BYYYEEE. I'm a vindictive bitch.

Bury him in the abyss.

Sounds like an old lady farting.

Goodbye to your legs.

Peek a boo with guns.

I would really appreciate it if someone would give me a grenade.

Man, he's rolling over there trying to be fancy. You're not fancy.

WOOOO MAN SHIT FUCK.

You tryin to gunslinger me? Heeellno.

Fancy feet.

Don't be like fancy feet, be an elite.

WHY ARE YOU ALL SO CLOSE TO ME.

No, stay your asses on that side of the bridge.

Stop giving me heart attacks over here I don't need them.

*whispering tensely* I don't need them, I said I don't need them.

Man, let me tell you, I would'a ended up throwing that up and I would've ended up throwing it behind me.

Did we say rope? We meant hope, as in an intangible thing that doesn't exist.

That went dark.

Not nearly as dark as my outlook on life :3c

Or as dark as my prospects of a future. But who needs tomorrow?

I DIDN'T MEAN TO THROW MY GRENADE, WHAT.

There it go. Nyoom.

The void appreciates your contribution.

*laughs* I'M SO MAD STILL ABOUT THE FUCKING GRENADE.

Look at them flappy flags -- how they so flappy? It cold as fuck.

Subtle? What's that. I don't know what that is. Sorry, I don't know what subtle is, its not gonna happen. Not now, not ever.

The only thing subtle here is your ability to shoot everyone in the goddamn dick without even trying.

LISTEN, leave-- *laughs* Leave my aim out of this.

I will leave our aim out of this when you stop handing out dick shots like halloween candy.

(nathan voice) I believe I can flyyyyy.

Launch backwards.

Come here guy. Come hereee. Bye. Jackass.

Maybe I should keep the SAS.

"Bianca you were supposed to be subtle." There was nothing subtle about this shit.

There was no reason for the yoink.

Drop down Nate, Jesus, why did you have to be ExTRA.

Unfortunate. My jokes will be less appreciated due to ill timing now. Truly a tragedy in three parts. 

Everyone named Nathan is Extra.

Today you taught that man an important lesson... a lesson in flight and physics. And that lesson is that people can't fly.

Well I shot him in the dick and it might've been just a little too on-point.

Long Time No Fuck My Life.

hSSSSSSSSSS

It didn't let me-- crap that time.

SHOVE THEIR CORPSES INTO THE ABYSS. AS VENGEANCE. THEIR SOULS CANNOT ASCEND. LET THE VOID CONSUME THEM.

You jinxed it.

I hate you for having that fucking good aim.

If I heard that in my last seconds of life, I would resurrect just long enough to kick them in the balls so goddamn hard they'd invert into a Y and never return to normal.

Mmmm gratuitous ass shot.

Where is the dragon sniper because I really, really, really would like to have it right now.

I wouldn't mind getting shot by you in rl as long as I got to hear some of this quality commentary before dying.

I think Nate's just a lil bitch and died of a splinter. Can take a hole in the liver but not a splinter. Anything but a splinter.

You said no -- but mommy said yes.

Better not-- Better fucking not!! ...Okay.

WHY IS THE BRIDGE JUST NOW BREAKING.

PLOT INCONVENIENCE.

Come on Nate, squirrel your fucking way up there.

The amount of splinters...

Them pants are tighter than they are thicc.

YOU'RE ALWAYS SAYING YOU NEED A GRENADE, BUT WHEN THEY OFFER IT YOU'RE LIKE "Naaaaah".

(blu q. kazoo voice) SUSPICIOUUUUUSSS.

Hey Elena... what brings you here... behind this crate?

That gasp of realization was the best.

No, that "FRUCK" was the best.

Heeeey did you drop your gun? No you didn't, you're an asshooole.

The eight year old ate them.

They got V O R E D.

Get outta here with that.

Gonna replace the word bored with vored now just for the fuck of it.

DICKSHOOOT. It was on purpose.

I need a word for dick that rhymes with shot.

Why not just cock shot.

Because that's average. Everyone expects cock shot but who's gonna see shlort shot coming?

I'm shlort sighted.

You killed me the last time and I did not appreciate that one bit.

If you're going to be launching nades, you gotta expect to get shot in the nads by the one and only vibrating Nate.

I'd be vibrating too if I was being shot at all day too, my fucking nerves would be fried.

I did not like that-- that-- that was not cool.

I DIDN'T SEE THE ROPE AND I THOUGHT YOU FINALLY LAUNCHED YOURSELF. I WAS PROUD BUT ALSO UPSET BECAUSE THAT SEEMED LIKE THE MOST DISAPPOINTING LAUNCH.

YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND BABY, RIGHT ROUND, LIKE A RECORD BABY--

Twirl hunny twiirl.

Can't believe I wanted to hang with someone who can't even appreciate Skyrim Shuffle. What a disappointment of a stoner.

Just dies and flips into the void.

New test on anyone who wants to be my friend -- has to appreciate the skyrim shuffle.

I WANNA DIE THAT WAY. JUST BE STARING INTO THE VOID DEBATING MY LIFE, THEN SUDDENLY "B Y E BITCH". I'D START LAUGHING. I'D DIE LAUGHING BEFORE I HIT THE GROUND.

I'd die laughing on a roller coaster if my organs weren't shoved into my throat.

Prepare to be Swiss'd.

Are you firing stink bombs.

Shot his ass off. Literally.

NOPE. Get shredded. I don't want it. I don't want what you're selling.

BABY BELL IN THE HOUSE BITCH.

A WHITE PERSON WHO DOESN'T APPRECIATE CHEESE. DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT BABYBEL IS.

Have you ever had double cream brie with black truffles? THEN GET OUT OF MY FACE CHEESE HEATHEN.

That wasn't the crow sound. That was the Furry McFuckgoat sound.

That's a god damn butt plug. A very sharp one.

Smooth things over with him via a shot in the back of his goddamn skull.

I slipped and it fell into the void. That's what you tell them.

I don't think they can use the void as an excuse.

IS THAT A PIG ON FIRE.

We've established that he likes me better than you.

God that'd be a great way to go...  direct hit with an RPG. Just... feel something whack me in the back then KABOOSH.

Your bullet count was 69 there for a moment and that was pretty rad.

I'll boost you. Off the side of a fucking cliff.

Oh look -- its a life-sized statue of your ego.

Prepare yourself. You're about to get one of your many wishes.

Vore?

Are you sure its not vore? That's a lot of mouths.

No its Furry McFuckgoat and his friends.

I'd SCREAM OF JOY IF MY THROAT WASN'T FUCKED.

You just got pounded by a furry. How you feel about that?

And again.

Just getting straight up gangbanged here.

I'd kill him so he didn't get the satisfaction of seeing it all. DIE CURIOUS HOE. But I am a far bigger dick than the Russian.

Good aim for being stiff.

They're fucking dead and still better at aiming than you.

Shambala WAS beautiful, til Nate ruined it.

There's always time to sight see you stupid slut.

Catch me enjoying the scenery outside the vehicle of my killer's vehicle. Catch me asking if we can stop and get a slushie at this nice slushie stand before I die.

He's a Russian -- he's already immortal.