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[ariuka-munkh]

My caffeine-empowered brain’s take on some Asian countries and their reaction to China’s rise of power

Mongolia

·         Lowkey just wants to be left alone.

·         Confused 24/7.

·         Economically dependent on China but then highkey hates China with burning passion?

·         Running everywhere making allies from US, EU, Middle East, Russia, and even Africa (http://www.theniles.org/en/articles/archive/1701/)

·         That guy (who is probably high af) that always gets caught trying to sneak out with the party beers.

·         The Mongolian public: WHAT ARE THOSE CHINESE DOING IN OUR COUNTRY???

·         The Mongolian government: Cuz money.

·         The public: What??? Aren’t you worried that China is bullying Mongolia? They’re digging up our land which is not only the important part of our nomadic heritage, they’re not taking good care of the environment and are getting valuable resources. Shouldn’t Mongolia use those resources ourselves?

·         The government: We literally got no money to develop technology.

·         The public: That’s cuz you’re eating them for your own private pleasure.

·         The government: Don’t know what you mean.

·         The public: Okay. Fine. Eat. But you do realize that you’re practically making money from China when you could be making three times as much in the foreign market or using them for our own domestic products? Also, if you haven’t noticed, the people are unhappy and anxious because of China’s interests in Mongolia.

·         The government: Yeah. But we got money~

·         The public: Can you at least do something about China’s annual PMS on Mongolia?

·         The government: Can’t. We’re receiving money.

·         The public: *depressed silence*

·         The government: Don’t worry. We’re making enough money for them anti-depressant pills.

 North Korea

·         Practically one of the few countries which are dealing with China worse than Mongolia is with China.

·         If NK was a human, needs extended psychiatric help to treat all the trauma he put himself through.

·         Domestically, the Kim Dynasty is falling apart and everything is going down to that Biblical place under the Earth.

·         Mongolia: Dude. You got to like let go of the Kims now.

·         North Korea: *covering his ears with his palms* Lalalalallalalala-I can’t hear you-lalallalala-don’t know what you mean backstabber-lalalalala.

·         Perhaps the only country which can be labeled as China’s ally. But then lowkey hates China.

·         But then again, they hate every single ally of theirs and despise every single neighboring country of theirs with burning passion.

·         Internationally, only got China and Russia and few others as their allies.

·         Literally got the worst image in the world which doesn’t help their circumstances.

·         But then was one of the only few countries that shook the international community.

South Korea

·         Prone to making tear-jerkingly moving nationalistic speeches.

·         One of the few countries that are dealing with China the best (by NK and MGL standards).

·         Got long history of dealing with China’s superiority-covered inferiority complex, so knows the general to-dos.

·         Militarily strong (among top 10 of the world) and allied with the US.

·         Economically, profits greatly from China.

·         So literally needs to balance everything until things get nasty.

·         Recieves Anti-Chinese or Anti-Japanese protestors weekly.

·         The protestors: Do something about the Fine Dust!

·         The Korean government: Yes, of course, my people. We are negotiating with China as we are speaking.

·         The protestors: You say that every time!

·         Another protestors: We need solid proof!

·         Old protestors: I’m old! I can’t take this much longer. I could die tomorrow!

·         The government: Yes. We understand. We’re doing everything in our power to lessen the problem.

·         Anti-Yemeni protestors: *popping out of nowhere* Then what about the Yemeni Refugees?

·         The crowd: Yeah!

·         Someone in the crowd: They need to get out of our country.

·         The government: That is officially unable to be done. However, we’ll make sure to ensure our Korean citizens safety, of course. *turns to the nearby government worker* Psst. Is it bad timing to remind them that we signed the agreement to receive the refugees?

 Japan

·         Surprisingly, got their mess together (for a while).

·         Another Asian country that has security treaty with the US.

·         Their army which is to be used only for defense is ranked in top 10 powerful army of the world. (https://ceoworld.biz/2018/11/23/the-worlds-most-powerful-militaries-in-2018/)

·         So if they decide to militarize, uh oh.

·         Other Asian countries, including China, are skeptical of Japan still having the same motives they had during WWII.

·         Their pride can crush a nation.

·         Would rather commit Seppuku than lose face value.

·         Soft power is amazing.

·         Did the “I want to be left alone so I’ll close my borders” before it was cool, hundreds of years ago which didn’t end very well.

·         Japan: Mongoria-san, it riterarry doesn’t work.

·         Mutual dislike with China. As a result, gets into annual disputes with China.

·         Good economic partner of China, but aloof.

·         China is struggling, trying to extend its powers to Japan.

·         Might be able to deal with China’s growing influence by working with South Korea, but the two countries presidents’ don’t even look in each other’s directions.

 Taiwan

·         Saltiest about China’s growing power.

·         It was their soldiers that invaded Inner Mongolia and Xinjiang Uyghur and Tibet which helped outline China’s current borders (speak to my high school history teacher for confirmation).

·         Thankful that the world doesn’t know it was them who stirred trouble in those countries.

·         But really salty that China got all the credits and is an international player now.

·         Probably would have been worse than China if they were the world power than mainland China. (Another US in a nutshell?)

·         Resourceful. Got ears and eyes everywhere.

·         For instance, the only foreign spy in Mongolia is a Taiwanese spy. (MNB News 2016)

·         Mongolia: Bruh, like… Why?

·         Most likely salty that current day Mongolia can’t tell the difference between Taiwanese government and Chinese government even though it should remember because it’s the one country (except mainland China) that truly witnessed their invading army.

·         Economic partnership with China. Semi - under Chinese rule.

·         Allies with US and Japan, but they are not very helpful.

·         Could maybe assist the unlikely Japan-South Korea cooperation to limit China’s influence in East Asia.

 Hong Kong

·         An honorable mention city-state.

·         Literally, gives China trouble until China agrees to their demands.

·         Democracy under China’s authoritarian rule.

·         Rebellious but not violent.

·         China profits a lot from Hong Kong economically.

·         Got all the aspect of an independent nation. (No military. But Liechtenstein is still a nation with no military of its own, so) Their economy is good.

·         China knows this and put economic sanctions on them from time to time.

·         Currently cornered due to Beijing pressures on them.

 Tibet

·         Literally the one country that wants to clock China the most (and has justifiable reasons).

·         Wanted to clock China since the early 1900s.

·         Globally got the image of a peaceful neutral nation full of monks, but in truth, capable of knifing when the chance is given.  

·         Prone to breakdowns once in a while.

·         Tibet: Goddammit, China! Why are you so clingy?! *nonsensical Tibetan mutterings and curses* Where did I go wrong? Honestly, where did I go wrong? Oh yeah, It was that moment when I got invaded by Manchu. *turns to Mongolia* This is all your fault.

·         Mongolia: Yeah?

·         Tibet: You dragged all of us down!

·         Mongolia: Sure. But why, bruh?

·         Tibet: If you weren’t being cruel to Inner Mongolia, she wouldn’t have joined forces with the Manchu from the beginning! And then not only that you lost Inner Mongolia, you went ahead and joined forces with Manchu to fight your own brother. Your brother! Frigging Oirad Mongolia was the only one who had a common sense in your crazy family. Now where is he? Dead.

·         Mongolia: Yo, is you really gonna talk about all of my youthful mistakes now?

·         Tibet: Youthful mistakes, my foot. You killed your family.

·         Mongolia: I tried, man.

·         Tibet: *sarcastically* My hero.

·         Mongolia: …

·         Tibet: Do you know what I’m most pissed up about though?

·         Mongolia: …shoot.

·         Tibet: Frigging Manchu ended up going extinct and the frigging West thought it was China that beated us up.

·         Mongolia: …

·         Tibet: Say something!

·         Mongolia: I’m used to it.

·         Tibet: …I hate you so much.

·         Mongolia: Eh. *puts on sunglasses* Words can’t hurt me, these shades are Gucci.

 India

·         Another power that may be able to challenge China.

·         But got some family problems with Pakistan.

·         Had long trade business with China from the Ancient times which continues to today.

·         But occasionally defends Tibet which causes complications with China.

·         Another power that can neutralize or deal with China’s rise to power.

·         Allies with ASEAN countries but not part of them.

 Vietnam

·         Honorable mention country.

·         Wrecked both China and US in the past century.

·         Literally, should not to be messed with.

·         Another socialist government who hates both China and the US.

 Philippines

·         Got problems with drug-dealers

·         Image of the gangsta country of Asia

·         Beautiful islands

·         I have no idea about Philippines, someone needs to enlighten me.