#imagining morul feeling so betrayed by one of his parents while all he can do is watch the other one suffer is torture

[just-an-elf-with-the-socks]

I just fucked myself up by thinking about Mórul as an adult in a universe where Melkor spends those three ages captured and eventually comes back seriously hurt with the Silmarils.

Mórul doesn’t blame him for the first part. He knows better than to think his Ada would abandon them unless he absolutely had to. It’s what comes next that becomes a problem.

Melkor is treating Mairon like shit from the minute he gets home and the only reason Mórul doesn’t see it at first is because he’s busy fighting his own battles in the north. Also because Mairon is determined to hide it from him (Mórul may be grown but he’ll always be Mairon’s baby).

But Mórul figures it out after he has to go and search for his father in a den of wolves and finds his throat torn out with his fana nearly destroyed. When they get back Melkor doesn’t bother to visit Mairon in the infirmary, he doesn’t insist on having him recover in the privacy of their bedroom (neither of them have been sleeping in it). He doesn’t even ask if he’s alive.

Now, Mórul loves both of his parents equally and each in their own way. But he’s particularly protective of Mairon. There’s a special bond they share that came with the fact that Mairon carried Mórul for so long, spent two full days bringing him into the world, and nursed him nearly twenty four seven.

Once he starts to realize how bad things have been for Mairon and how this all could have been avoided if Melkor cared, he decides straight up that he hates Melkor. It’s a very extreme decision to make so quickly and Mairon desperately tries to talk him down, but he has both of his fathers personalities and that’s not exactly possible.

Mórul screams at him and when Melkor has no reaction other than to just stare at the Silmarils, he leaves for his post and lets Melkor know that if he ever comes back, it will be for Mairon and Mairon alone.

In a happier world, Gothmog gets to slap the shit out of Melkor (something he greatly enjoyed) and makes him realize that his husband was dying and his son had left, possibly for good. In a heartbreaking world, Melkor never sees Mórul again before he’s sent to the Void,and Mórul himself dies for the cause Mairon is struggling to keep going after all this time.