#imagine your son dies in the arctic and to remember him you have some bones and some really gay letters to his boy best friend

[johntorrington]

girls when lieut. john irving, a memorial sketch with letters edited by b. bell (1881)

[kitten1618x]

GoT Afterthoughts 7x06 Beyond the Wall (Jonsa Edition) SPOILERS

Hello lovelies ... apologies for the delay! As most of you know, my Marine was home briefly. ❤️ 

 We begin our episode with the war room map/table in Dragonstone and a fire crackling in the background -ominous foreshadowing? We then join Jon and the boys hiking through the winter wonderland. Tormund being Tormund pokes Gendry for some fun, before the talk with Jon takes a more serious turn. He asks about the Dragon Queen, and Jon tells him that she'll only help if he bends the knee. Tormund tells Jon he's spent too much time with the freefolk and now he doesn't like kneeling. 

 Now, what Tormund said next admittedly confused me (and I'm paraphrasing): "Mance was a great man, a proud man, but how many of his people died for his pride?" To my knowledge it was Mance himself who died because he refused to kneel -not the freefolk? Were Wildlings slaughtered off-screen unbeknownst to us? I'm not being facetious -if I'm wrong in my confusion, someone please correct me. Otherwise, what we have here is a plot hole -almost like Tormund giving Jon a reason to kneel, to not be like Mance and not put his family and people in peril over his pride. I'm not ready to bag on the writing just yet, but this is a blatant inconsistency -just sayin'.... 

 But moving on ... Gendry airs his grievances with the brotherhood and the Hound tells him to suck it up buttercup and that's that for now. We are then brought to Jon and Jorah speaking not of Dany (which, ya know -would make sense since this whole "epic romance" plot and all) but instead, they are bonding over their fallen fathers. 

 Jon: “my father was the most honorable man I've ever met, he was good all the way through, and he died on the executioners block.” (We'll come back to this). 

Honorable Ned's son, honorable Jon takes off Longclaw and offers it to Jorah. Jorah insists that Jon keep it, deeming himself unworthy. 

 Jorah: “It's yours. May it serve you well, and your children after you.”

Cue WINTERFELL music and a pensive looking Jon. Contemplating your future children, Jon? Imagining their red hair and curls? Tully and Stark looking? Okay, I'll stop now -but come on guys -what an Easter egg! And right from there we jump to Winterfell (SURPRISE) and Jon's future wife (and mother of his children).

Our lovely Stark sisters are in the traditional Stark spot upon the battlements. Arya tells a heartwarming tale of Ned catching her practicing archery and clapping when she finally hit the bullseye. It was sweet, and lovely, and everything I'd been praying for for weeks, but then the accusations fly and all is lost. Arya has the letter that Cersei made Sansa pen to Robb. Sansa is naturally upset about this and defends herself with the truth: they made her write it (even Robb knew that when he read it, geez Arya come on -It's not like you did/didn't do things, too!). Does everyone remember when she was Tywin's cupbearer? Because I do. 

 I don't blame either of my precious angels for what they did/didn't do to survive as scared, isolated and traumatized little girls -and dammit, they shouldn't either! But more on this later .... 

 Now, I don't like what they made Sansa say about Arya "should be on her knees thanking her" -it's not that she isn't right about the part she played in re-taking Winterfell, but THAT was definitely some shitty writing. 

 We flash back to our boys, and Tormund is attempting to bond with the Hound. Aside from being some of the best comic relief this show has delivered in a long time, I'm becoming sweet on Tormund x Brienne. Stop me! I love Brienne x Jamie too much! I'm trash! Someone just wheel me out to the alley and light my ass on fire! 

We got a nice little callback to Ygritte and naturally Sansa too -because "Gingers are beautiful, they're kissed by fire". More on this later, too ..... 

 We switch over to Beric and Jon first discussing how much Jon apparently doesn't resemble Ned (sure Jan) and then the creepy religion (again, burning children is bad, guys -I'm with Varys on this religion). Jon doesn't serve the Lord of Light, he serves ONLY the North. They do seem to agree on one thing: they are protectors, and Jon recites some of his Nights Watch vows: "I am the shield that guards the realms of men." More on this later .... (Are you guys picking up a theme here yet? Let's see if you figure it out before I get to the end of this post). 😉 

 After the Hound points them towards the mountain he saw in his vision, we go to Dragonstone where Dany decides to compliment Tyrion by insulting him? lol What she likes about him is that he's not a hero -heroes are stupid with their constant pissing contests (she's not wrong) -except I'm not sure I'd consider Daario or Drogo heroes? Tyrion points out that all these brave men have fallen for her -including Jon Snow, because apparently unbeknownst to US the actual viewers, he's been oogling her ....?? Daenerys denies it, but you can tell by her body language that this pleases her. But -"he's too little for her" ???? What does that even mean? 

Honestly, I can't figure out my Little Lion this season and it's kind of pissing me off. Is he cracked out on Dragon love too? Or is he being clever and playing the game? Varys did say he needed to find a way to make her listen. Does Tyrion think Jon can influence her? And where the hell is Varys, by the way? 

Dany brings up the upcoming meeting and her impulsive temper comes up -and the Tarlys (expect them to come up again in the near future too, guys). Tyrion warns her about ruling with fear and then the convo shifts to the subject of Dany's mortality and her line of succession. Dany jumps into serious angry paranoia mode (Targ trait) and flings accusations of Tyrion's loyalty at him again. Look -I fully understand that this is a touchy (and rightly so) subject for Dany, but I don't think he's in the wrong here -the line of succession is important to any monarch, and especially one that intends to ride into battle. But ...not today Tyrion, not today. 

We jump back over the wall, and now the boys are traipsing through blizzard-like conditions. Is it still the same day? Has night fallen, or is it just dark due to the snow storm? Ugh, this episode is leaving me with more questions than answers! They spot, and are spotted by an undead bear, and a few redshirt Wildlings are taken out. Thoros and Beric light the sonofabitch on fire, Tormund whacks it with his battle axe -I mean, this damn thing takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin', and ends up with Thoros in its mouth, before Jorah takes it out with a dagger (assuming it was dragon glass?). A chug of alcohol and a cauterizing of the wound, and he's miraculously up on his feet and ready to continue. 

On a side note: poor precious hound and his fire PTSD. 😔 Cant wait for Clegane bowl -hope it ends with fire and Sandor conquering his fear while exacting his revenge. 

And now we're back in Winterfell, and a distressed Sansa is confiding in Little Finger. If ya'll didn't pick up that she was sniffing him out, then I just can't help you. Sansa doesn't trust him. I strongly suspect she knows that letter turned up because of him. I'm 99% confident she was jugging him for info .... 

Sansa is nervous about the letter, though -rightly so, because if the lords see it, they may withdraw their support -BUT she isn't worried for herself, she's worried for Jon and keeping his army (amassed to 20k now -when did that happen? Go Sansa!) -so wake up and suck a fat one, Sansa haters! Don't you guys get it yet?!?! Sansa is loyal to Jon -shit, even Little Finger gets it. Why do you think he's so bent on sewing discourse between the sisters, now? Because all his attempts to drive a wedge between Jon and Sansa have failed! 

We return to the winter wonderland, and now it's Jorah/Thoros bonding time. I'm sorry that I don't care enough to repeat their exchange -it wasn't exactly riveting, and I pretty much knew that it was his "death knell". Anyone else getting whiplash from all this back and forth? 

Upon their climb, they hear the clinking of an undead scouting party. Interesting .... they send scouting parties ahead? The NK and his Generals are pretty smart. Which caused something to pop into my head: are Gilly's brothers the NK's Generals? But back to the action ... they start a fire to lure them in and ambush them. Jon kills the General and all but one of the wights fall. Aside from the convenience of all but the one they need falling, this is also interesting. If they take out the generals who raised them, the wights will automatically fall -so if the NK is taken out, then his entire army would perish! Hmmm ... 

So, my dudes tackle Bones and he lets out an ear piercing screech, which apparently alerts the others (hmmm -they communicate, too?). With an avalanche of the undead rolling down upon them at high speeds, they collectively shit their pants while hogtying Bones, and Jon orders Gendry to run for Eastwatch and get a Raven to Dany, declaring that he's "the fastest". Well, this is all well and good, but please explain to me just exactly HOW Jon knows this? Because I didn't know Gendry was fast ...did you? And not only do they send this poor kid who's never even seen snow before, off into the arctic wilds by his lonesome, entrusting his supposed internal GPS (I guess???), but they take his freaking weapon so he has no means to defend himself, to boot! 

And off he goes, while Jon and the crew race for shelter and find themselves standing over the weak ice of a frozen pond/lake. With no other place to go but forward, they take their chances and make for the rock in the middle, as the dead close in on them and after grabbing a few more redshirt Wildlings, the wights break the weakened ice and begin falling into icy water, creating a barrier and a trap for our boys. Winded, but alive, they freeze their tushes off, as night falls and an exhausted Gendry collapses before the gate of Eastwatch. Daddy Davos comes to cradle on of his fostered sons as Gendry breathlessly pleas to send a Raven. 

It's morning on the rock, and our dudes have snuggled to keep warm overnight. The Hound rouses from his comfy Jon Snow pillow to kick the grumbling Bones, who's probably just salty that he didn't get invited to the slumber party. Sandor gives him a good morning kick in the ribs, and when Bones squeals in displeasure, so do some of the wights surrounding them. Another clue of their links? 

Unfortunately, Thoros hasn't made it through the night. They burn his body and Beric says the creepy Lord of Light's prayer. I hope someone had the good sense to take his flaming sword first, but I doubt it, because while I love my boys -they aren't exactly clever ...they did go on a wight hunt, after all. 🙄 

Jorah and Jon discuss the connection and Jorah suggests trying to take out the WW's as their best chance of survival. Jon says no, they need to take that thing (Bones) back with them and a Raven is on its way to Dany -she's their only chance. I suppose she has the same magic GPS as Gendry. 😳 Beric joins them and counters that argument with just taking out the NK -he turned them all after all ...kill him and they all fall. 

Now, Jon puzzles me here. His reply to Beric's suggestion is: "You don't understand." 

What Jon? What don't we understand, baby?? Tell us!!!! Is Jon suddenly afraid of his own mortality? I don't think so, but then -what don't we understand?????? 

*screaming internally* 

Beric counters with how the lord brought them both back and maybe this is why. I'm not sure what Jon's thinking while his chest heaves and he eye fucks the NK -but .... perhaps he really is afraid? Maybe of failing and being forced to rise and fight on the NK's side? Suggestions are welcome here .... really. 

We jump back to Winterfell and Sansa has received an invite to KL. So, who sent this invite? Sansa refuses to go -and is certainly justified considering .... She intends to send Brienne in her stead, but Brienne is uncomfortable leaving Sansa unprotected because of Little Finger. She requests to at least leave Podrick behind, but Sansa denies her request, and after trying several times to politely put her off, she finally rudely dismisses her. Now, I have no doubt that Sansa is truly frightened to go to KL because of Cersei, but I also think that she specifically chose Brienne to represent her -not only because she trusts her to represent her interests, but also because of what Little Finger implied earlier -about Brienne intervening with Arya if necessary. I'd like to think that Sansa is not only protecting her little sister, but also Brienne's honor of having to side with one of the sisters should things get ugly. (They won't, trust me). 

We flip over to Dragonstone and Tyrion tries to convince Dany not to run off to the rescue, but (thankfully), she doesn't listen. She mounts Drogon and off to the rescue her and her lizard babies go! 

We're back at the boulder now, and an apparently bored Sandor is throwing rocks at the "cunt" wights. Not that I blame him, but we all knew where this was going, right? The ice has re-frozen and slowly, the dead advance on them again. This shit was really unbelievable, tbh. With the sheer amount of wights surrounding them, they should have been swarmed, but somehow manage to keep most of them at bay. Jon yells "fall back" (to where????) as Tormund gets grabbed and, oh my heart!!!! I swear I had a mini stroke! But thankfully, Sandor grabs him just in time (he knows he fucking LOVES fire kissed Gingers, okay?)!

And just when it seems that all is lost, Dany and lizard puppies arrive to fuck shit up!! Okay, despite their destruction to actual human life a few weeks ago -this was beautiful and visually very satisfying! This is what the dragons are for! They take out a good chunk of the NK's army -which is WHY I assume he targets the dragon still flying overhead and raining down hellfire on his army, rather than Drogon who was chilling while they all saddled up. I mean, it's just a guess, but it's truly the ONLY logical explanation I could come up with. 😐 

Dany reaches immediately for Jon, but a wight charges, and Jon turns to dispatch it, as well as a few of its comrades while the others climb atop Drogon. You know, Jon being the hero he was accused of earlier in the episode? The NK marches forward and takes aim at Viserion -who is still fucking up his army (as I mentioned above, and why I think he may have targeted him), as Jon continues to blindly fight the wights instead of climbing his dumbass on the fucking dragon! Why? So it can be HIS fault for what happens next, of course! 

I legit cried when Viserion died. I'm a grown-ass woman, and I don't give a shit! It was heartbreaking, to watch him plummet from the sky and crash into the lake, his eye drifting closed as he slipped below the ice ... and personally, I think Dany's facial expression nailed it: gut wrenching shock. As a mother, my heart broke for her, even though I know that the dragons future demise is necessary. 

An angry Jon charges right towards the NK for a standoff, as if he took Beric's words to heart and was prepared to sacrifice himself right then and there to kill the NK and save the whole damn world! But the NK doesn't want to scrap -instead, he reaches for another ice spear, and Jon seeing that he intends to take out another dragon, screams for them to go. 

He turns to sprint for Drogon (I guess? Because Drogon had already begun to take off?) but he's tackled by wights and dragged into the icy water. The group hauls ass into the air as an ice spear whizzes towards them, but Drogon avoids it and almost sends Jorah to an early grave. Dany glances back for any sight of Jon as Drogon flies them to safety. 

After the dragons fly off, the NK and his army nonchalantly shuffle on as if nothing happened. We get a shot of Longclaw by the ice hole and suddenly Jon lunges out of the water and uses its hilt to drag himself out of the icy lake. Soaked and frozen and probably figuring this is the end, he raises his sword to go out fighting and uncle Benjen drops in to save the day! He hauls a popsicle Jon onto his undead? horse and tells him to ride for the pass, declining Jon's offer to come with him and telling him "there's no time". Now -I've seen this part criticized, and I get it, I do -except what is Benjen supposed to do? He can't pass the wall -he's dead too. Guess he figured it best to go out fighting then endless undead loneliness. Maybe he figured he had no more dumbass nephews to save from beyond the wall anymore? Whatever the case, it was sad to see yet another Stark perish -even if he was technically already dead. 

We're back at Eastwatch now, and the Hound is dumping Bones in a dingy, as Beric says farewell and they'll meet again. The Hound says he fucking hopes not, but I don't think he means it. 😉 Atop the wall, Dany gazes forlornly at the landscape below, as Jorah tells her it's time to go (and calls her "Your Grace", and not Khaleesi? Since when?). As she turns to leave, the horn blows and Benjen's horse comes into view (and where have I seen this scene before?) only this time, WITH a rider. Hey -how the fuck did he get his horse back, anyway?

The Targ ship unfurls its sails, and we're in Jon's cabin as Davos literally peels the frozen furs from his trembling body, and sweet mary mother of God, Kit's abs! 😍 As Jon freezes to death, I'm just praying that Davos continues with his disrobing of Jon (and the camera follows), but nope ... 😔 Dany watches from the doorway with a mixture of worry, awe and since she's only human, probably lust (I feel you girl, I really do). On a serious note: she's privy to all those horrid scars that were never stitched and are still literal almost gaping gashes in his chest -and one directly over his heart. I bet Davos' words are ringing in her ears again. 

After that gratuitous abs scene, we head back to Winterfell, where Sansa is snooping through Arya's room -probably looking for the letter. Instead, she stumbles onto Arya's face collection. WTF! Naturally, Arya catches her snooping, and begins to terrify Sansa, and myself collectively, with some creepy dialogue that rings as an ominous threat -except, well ... let's break this down a bit. She is sharing some of her past. She wants to play the Game of Faces, but Sansa is not having any of this shit.

I'm pretty sure that Arya drops a MAJOR foreshadowing bomb here: "We both wanted to be other people when we were younger. You wanted to be a queen, sitting next to a handsome king on the iron throne and I wanted to be a knight riding off to battle." 

Okay, back to the terrifying conversation... Arya: "With the faces, I can become someone else, live in their skin, speak in their voice. I can even become you ..."

*she picks up the catspaw dagger and steps closer to Sansa* 

 (With the dagger in her hand): "I wonder what it would feel like, wearing those pretty dresses, to be the Lady of Winterfell. All I'd need to find out is your face."

 *she flips the dagger and hands it to Sansa HILT first* 

 When Sansa takes the dagger, Arya casually turns and leaves the room.

ARYA WAS PLAYING THE GAME OF FACES. Yes, it's shitty, and she gave her sister a mini stroke, but here's the thing: I believe they are BOTH playing Little Finger separately -to protect one another AND Jon, they just don't realize that the other is doing it yet. I'm fully confident that either Bran is going to sit our Starklings down, or they're going to figure it out on their own. And speaking of Bran, where the hell is he? Is he off with Varys? WTH?! 

Okay, and we're finally at the scene that y'all were dreading .... Jon's eyes drift open to a teary-eyed Dany who's relieved to see him wake. Immediately, he apologizes for her loss. She shakes her head and lowers it to hide her tears (probably trying not to make him feel worse), and Jon reaches for her hand. He tells her he wishes he could take it back and that they'd never gone. Dany shakes her head again and disengages her hand. She disagrees -she needed to see to understand. 

She tells him that the dragons are her children -the only children she'll ever have, and asks him if he understands what she's trying to convey. Jon shakes his head yes, as Dany vehemently professes her support in helping Jon defeat the NK. 

Now, I received an ask earlier last week when this episode leaked, about whether I thought Dany was doing this only for vengeance -and certainly, that does factor into her decision, I'm sure. And I don't fault her one fucking bit, tbh. I'm a mother -if you hurt my kids, I'm coming straight for you -why do you think the term "mama grizzly" was coined? But, on the other hand -she's now seen this horrific undead army, and what they are capable of. As someone who freed slaves, it only makes sense that she'd want to help make sure that humanity is not enslaved by the NK and the dead. This is WHY Dany is here, you guys. Not to be queen. Not to be Jon's wife. But to help save humanity with her fire-made flesh dragons, and die in a very messianic way -as such has been the arc they built her character upon. 

Jon immediately thanks her, and calls her Dany. She's taken aback -and explains that no one has called her that in a very long time. She brings up Viserys and in a roundabout way, says he was a dick, as to which Jon replies: "alright, not Dany. How about my queen? I'd bend the knee, but ..." he nods his head towards his injured state, as Dany asks about the people who've sworn allegiance to him (because she suddenly cares about that now?) and Jon says (and like I TOLD YOU ALL LAST WEEK when I watched this leaked scene, how very important and almost foreboding his words are): "They'll come to see you for what you are." 

WHAT YOU ARE. Not who you are. Not how caring you are. Not anything other than ambiguously WEIRD: what you are!!! 

Dany is still touched by this seemingly heartfelt declaration, and with more tears welling in her eyes, grasps his hand and proclaims that she hopes she deserves it, and Jon reassures her that she does. After some silent eye contact, she pulls her hand free from his grasp and tells him to get some rest. 

He obliges and closes his eyes, and then when she leaves the room, his eyes reopen and he looks -guilty? As he releases what sounds like an exasperated sigh. 

And finally, we end the night with the dead dragging Viserion from the icy depths with some heavy duty chains, and the NK reanimates him. Okay, I just have to say how fucking stupid that is. Where did these massive chains come from? Why didn't he just raise his arms and raise Viserion like he did the Wildlings at Hardhome? It would have been a lot cooler if he came lunging out of the water all blue eyed, rather than be dragged up with chains. Ugh whatever! 

Okay, so for a penultimate episode, I'm not majorly impressed, but I didn't hate it.

So, some things we need to go back and touch on (as noted throughout). Have you all figured out where I was going with it? Yes? No? 

Okay - SO MANY CALLBACKS TO THE NIGHTS WATCH HERE, GUYS! 

We got Ygritte callbacks with "Gingers are kissed by fire". We got the Jon/Beric convo which was kind of reminiscent of Half Hand/Jon's convo when they were with the Wildling's as prisoners, and Jon even recited a piece of his Nights Watch vows! We've got Tormund bringing up Mance, and his refusal to kneel AND we've got an almost replicated scene (horn blowing and all) of Uncle Benjen's horse riding for the gate of the wall, only this time, WITH a rider! 

What does that remind me of? Well, a previously duplicitous undercover Jon infiltrating the Wildlings -using them to achieve his goal of getting back to Castle Black alive, to warn the Watch of the impending attack and to do his duty -hold the Wall against the Wildlings. How did he do that? By deceiving Ygritte -despite his feelings. 

Now, I'm not saying I'm right, and it's just a theory -but I truly do believe that Jon is playing Dany. BUT, I also truly believe that he does like her, and that he does really believe she has a good heart. She did just lose one of her children to save him and the crew ...  Jon's odd and ambiguous words: "They'll see you for what you are" is for our benefit -a clue to know where the story is headed. However, I do think that the fact that he actually admires and cares for her (cares, NOT loves) is making him feel pretty shitty for what he is/has to do, on top of the guilt he feels for being at fault for Viserion's death. 

It's no coincidence that he couldn't look in her eyes when he offered to bend the knee. It's also very telling that he did so when no one was around to hear/witness this. While Dany has been wearing her obvious heart eyes on her sleeve for a few episodes now, Jon has been pretty guarded, he hasn't shared ANYTHING personal, his expressions have been odd -and blank, mostly (as in this scene, as well) ... this developing "romance" has felt "off". With Dany's attraction being so blatant, I think that Jon easily picked up on her feelings for him, and he's using that -playing on those feelings, to secure an alliance. 

So why is this necessary if Dany already agreed to help him? Truth be told, I feel like Jon just doesn't fully trust her. Good heart or not, she is a stranger, he's seen her temper and how quickly she turned on Tyrion that day -this is Jon being smarter than Father (also brought up several times in the episode -as well as his honor) and Robb -who ironically was also brought up in this episode by way of Sansa's letter! 

Addressing the weirdness of Jon calling Dany, "Dany"? I believe this was to assert a familial tie -in the same episode where her brother was brought up, and ironically, the dragon that died, was named for. They are reminding us they're actually FAMILY (incase we forgot) because of what's going next episode, y'all. They want us to be kind of squicked out when it happens. 

All the mentions of Dany's inability to conceive? Well, for two reasons, really- to hit us (and Jon) over the head with the fact that Dany can't get pregnant, so boatbang can happen, basically -and Mr. "doesn't want to sire a bastard", feels confident to hang up his vow of celibacy if there's no shot of getting Dany pregnant. And also, for all of our tongues to be wagging about "oh no, could their be a magic Targ baby"? like many have been. A red herring for the red herring, anyone? A baby requires a time jump -a time jump cannot happen -the dead are literally KNOCKING on the Wall. If you've got a logical explanation for me -let's have it. And yes, I've heard the shadow baby theory, and while I think it's uber cool, I'm not really onboard with it -who would it kill, as that is their purpose?

Also -the NK and his Generals are impervious to fire -unlike the wights. But -will dragon glass and Valaryian steel kill the NK? I'm starting to doubt that ... 

��And before I sign off on this, I wanted to address one more thing (that I specifically looked for in my re-watch) -the mention I saw floating around here, of the Wolf eyes on Longclaws hilt opening as Jon emerged from the frozen lake -it did look like that, but it was just a shadow-a trick of the light, if you go back and watch it. 😉 

 Thanks for tuning in again. See you next week for my final recap of the season. And FYI: my kiddos start school the next day, so I can't stay up til 2 am recapping -my recap will be posted on Monday, instead. ✌🏻