#imagine wasting your energy trying to 'flex' on witches for

[eccleraprisma]

so i think i’ve cracked the code: the soldier poet king discourse (petty tiktok arguments about who is allowed to enjoy and interpret the song, jesus fandom members, dnd players or witches) all comes down to leftover satanic panic between dnd, the concept of witches and hating things queer people have a interest in. that being said i’m ending the discourse once and for all by saying its very bold of you to assume jesus wouldn’t have liked dnd. he walks around with his own party he’s the dm of, knows whats going to happen and tells them in the most cryptic way possible, knows every trap verbal and nonverbal, travels from city to city on a mission, has a certain play style that he won’t change (”can we rain meteors on this city that didn’t let us in?” “NO.”), does magic like healing and walking on water for crying out loud. thats someone who would love dnd. he’d play the game be like “okay can i rebuke the roman soldier this round?” and they’d be like “yes dude of course”. they let him break the rules and do whatever he wants btw they got tired of explaining them again and again

anyways this song can be about your craft, jesus, blorbo from your dnd and favorite show/movie or just your oc nobody can tell you that you can’t enjoy a song or not except really insecure young tiktok christians aged 14 to 17 but their opinions (and bigotry) don’t matter. maggie and tyler heath also do not care they told me personally. i am secularly listening to solider poet king right this moment actually, what are you gonna do about it kiddo? i am applying the whole dear wormwood album to my oc’s arc, are you gonna bust down my door? you’ll do nothing except hopefully learn that other people’s interests don’t threaten you or your religion

[anotherlifefic]

Chapter 42: The Guardian of the Triforce

„Her… other half? Like her lover?“, I asked, not being able to make sense of what Lana was telling me.

„‘Other half‘ as in ‚She and I used to be the same person‘“, she corrected me. „We got split in two when she decided to leave behind her role as the Guardian of the Triforce.“

„Guardian of the Triforce? I have never heard of something like that… and I‘m reasonably well versed in the lore sorrounding the Triforce. I‘m not an expert, but I‘m sure that if there was a Guardian of the Triforce, people would know.“

And said guardian would have stopped Ganondorf from getting his third of the Triforce. And thus made sure none of the terrible things that could have happened had any chance to ever happen.

Lana sighed. „She could observe, but never interact. That‘s why people just… forgot about her, I suppose. Like they forgot Hylia. And the Glaces.“ Her eyes wandered down to my left hand, which was resting on the table and was sorrounded by a thin layer of ice by now. „And many other powerful people and races. A lot of things just end up lost to time. History warps itself, as it is always told by people. And people make mistakes, and forget things, or embellish or change the way they tell it to suit their needs.“ She shook her head once more, as if to clear her thoughts. „But that‘s not important now. She has broken her vow to remain a silent watcher of the world, and decided to interfere with it to a dangerous degree. While the Hero marrying anyone but the Princess wasn‘t part of the plan, it also didn‘t render him unable to perform his duty as a hero and protector. But Cia brainwashing him most certainly does. And while Ganondorf may be dead, the evil that drove him to do what he did is not killed this easily.“

„What? There was something making Ganondorf do these things? I mean, apart from his own greed.“

„There are powers at work that far exceed the greed of a single man“, Lana replied. „It is a long story, one that you will undoubtedly learn when the time has come. But now, we have to focus on freeing the Hero from Cia‘s spell. And for that, we have to fight Cia. Your powers should prove useful for that.“

I looked at my hand, then at Lana. „I don‘t know how to use them yet.“

She took my hand into hers. „Then allow me to show you.“

We walked outside again, and Lana led me to the middle of the unkempt field. It was kind of sad to see this farm abandoned like that. Who could it have belonged to?

„Concentration“, Lana said. „That‘s the key. Concentration and visualisation. You have to imagine the ice sprouting from your fingers. It has to be a clear image. And then you have to concentrate on it.“ Then, she let a beautiful frost flower sprout from her hand. It shattered, and she came up to me. „Now you try it. I‘ll hold your child while you do.“

I narrowed my eyes in suspicion. „You do not honestly ask me to hand my son to a stranger who just confessed to be connected to the woman who brainwashed my husband, do you?“

She sighed. „It‘s only natural to be distrustful after what happened. But we really don‘t have the time for this. Would you rather just set him down and have him crawl away while you work?“

„I could hold him“, said someone who had just joined Lana and me. We turned around, and I almost cried with relief. „Jenna! You‘re here!“ Then I stopped. „Wait… why are you here?“

„I always visit my old home right after returning from Hyrule“, she replied, but there was no smile on her face. She looked sympathetic, if anything. „I just saw Link while riding through the village, and he had a weird… woman with him. I said hello to him, but he didn‘t even seem to hear me, and didn‘t look at me either, even when I stood right in front of him.“ Her facial expression made it perfectly clear that „woman“ hadn‘t been the first word on her mind when trying to describe Cia. „I asked some of the villagers about you, and they said that they saw you follow another woman here. Rebecca, what is going on? And why are you two practising magic in the middle of my family‘s farm?“

I looked around. Ow, now it all made sense „I didn‘t know it was your family‘s farm. Sorry.“

„Me neither. It looked abandoned, so I thought it would be a good place for us to train“, Lana explained.

„Look, Jenna. Link isn‘t himself right now. And he needs help.“ I flexed my fingers, trying to get rid of the thin coat of ice covering them. „Help that may or may not involve fighting Cia. The woman you saw with him earlier.“

„Great, I‘m in. It‘s already enough to have you for a rival, but that Cia? No way we‘re losing Link to HER.“ She pumped her fist in the air. „Let‘s show her what the true women in Link‘s life are capable of!“

I handed Gareth to her. „Thank you, Jenna. Your support means a lot.“

„As the old saying goes: The enemy of my enemy is my friend. And don‘t actually condone adultery, which is what Cia is doing right now.“

„Oh?“, I asked.

„Yeah. I mean if Link ever fell in love with me, I would talk him into divorcing you before we did anything.“

„How very comforting.“

„Ladies“, Lana said, clapping her hands to gain our attention. „As touching as this friendly reunion is, you really need to get some practice with your magic before you can even think about confronting Cia.“

„Right. On it.“

For the next few hours, Lana made me do a few basic spells. Like the one she had showed me first; making a frostflower appear on my hand. It all felt… strangely natural. As if the magic had always been there, and I just hadn‘t known.

I occasionally glanced over my shoulder to see how Jenna and Gareth were doing. She was sitting on a big rock nearby and was having a very lively „conversation“ with him.

The sun soon began to set, and a pair on horseback. My stomach dropped when I recognized Link on Epona. And Cia… on Glory!

„What in the name of Farore‘s green crabs is this witch doing on my horse?“, I yelled out, beyond furious. And then my hand just slipped.

The ball of frosty energy blasted ahead and hit Cia dead in the face, knocking her off Glory and appearantly temporarily snapping Link out of his brainwashing. He looked from me, to Glory, then to Cia, and back. Then he rode up to me and dismounted. „Rebecca!“

„Link!“, I sobbed, throwing myself into his arms.

Glory approached us as well, causing me to let go of Link and hug her. „Oh Glory! I‘m so sorry you had to carry that woman on your back. Don‘t worry, I‘ll give you a very thorough grooming once we‘re back in the village.“

„You… little…“ Cia got up, her face reddened from the ice I had blasted her with. „You are meddling in affairs that don‘t concern you, Glaces! Why don‘t you go back to your frozen wasteland and let my hero and me have our happily ever after?“

Link drew his sword. „Get lost. Now. Before I make you.“

Cia blushed and cupped her own face with her hands. „Oh Link, I love it when you‘re being so forceful! Don‘t worry, sweetheart. I will remove this relic from our sight. Then we will continue our journey to the Temple of Souls!“

„Who‘re you calling a relic? I‘m not the one who has been wasting away in the same place for thousands of years.“

Cia‘s sharp gaze wandered over to Lana. „Lana… so you told her.“

„Link doesn‘t love you, Cia. He has chosen a love for this lifetime. We must respect his choice.“

„His choice should have been the Princess. If he can ignore the rules, so can I.“

I couldn‘t help but notice that Cia sounded like a petulant child.

„Do I sound like that when talking about Link?“, I heard Jenna mutter somewhere behind me.

Cia turned her attention to me again, pouting… and then turning away. „I really don‘t want to have to deal with you. Oh Volga!“

From seemingly out of nowhere, a massive red dragon appeared, which then turned into a man in red  armor.

Cia pointed to me, barely lifting her arm, as if I wasn‘t even worth the effort. „Get rid of that woman for me, will you?“ Then she looked over to Jenna. „The other woman and the brat, too. I do not allow my future children with Link to have any half-siblings from a worthless mother.“

Link gripped his sword tighter. „You will not touch my wife or son, witch! And neither will your servant!“

The man named Volga scoffed. „Servant? A dragon does not serve anyone.“ Then he drew his spear. „You better start praying to the Goddesses, boy.“

„Go ahead, have your fun“, Cia cooed. „I will come and collect my hero once you‘re done.“

Link looked over his shoulder to me. „Rebecca, take Gareth and run!“

„I won‘t abandon you!“, I insisted. „I have my magic! I can help!“ I gathered the magical energy around my hands for emphasis, feeling the air around me grow colder.

The dragon-man‘s gaze wandered over to me. „You are quite bold, Glaces. Very well then. Let‘s see how your ice fares against my dragonfire.“

Link stepped in front of me. „You will not harm her!“

But Volga just sneered. „Step aside, Hero. I have challenged the Glaces, not you. Do you intend to bring dishonor upon your wife?“

„Link“, I said firmly. „Step aside.“

„But Rebecca-“

„I am not the fragile woman I was before. Protect Jenna, Lana and Gareth, and leave Volga to me.“ I drew my naginata, feeling my magic flow into the weapon until its blade was covered in an icy blue aura. I raised my voice. „I shall accept your challenge, Dragonknight.“

He smirked. „Well spoken.“ Then he rushed towards me, engulfed in flames. I parried the blow of his spear with my naginata, the frost of my magic clashing against the blaze. A shower of sparks erupted from where our weapons met.

I jumped back, gathering energy for another strike while moving off to the side to dodge any attacks Volga might throw at me. We prowled around each other in a deadly dance, until I spotted an opening and attacked, striking a crack in his armor that was undoubtedly a scar on his dragon body. He stumbled, and I let the frost creep up on him, engulf him, until only his head was free.

Then I carefully approached him, weapon still readied in case he would attack once more.

But his pitch-black eyes were only sizing me up with an almost admiring look in his eyes.

„Where has the witch gone?“, I asked, trying to ban the slight shiver of my voice.

„Hyrule“, he replied with not the slightest hint of defiance. „She initially intended to imprison the Hero in the Temple of Souls and then attack Hyrule Castle to make sure the Princess wouldn‘t try to free him. But now that the Hero broke free from her spell, she changed her plans and will now try to get rid of the Princess first.“

Link and I looked at each other in horror.

„Zelda!“, we both gasped at the same time.

Jenna approached us. „What will we do? It‘ll take days to get back to Hyrule, even if we don‘t take a single break!“

„I will open a portal“, Lana said confidently. „Take your horses and step through it. It will lead you right to the castle.“

„Alright.“ I turned to Jenna. „Jenna, would you please take care of Gareth just a little longer? Just until we made sure that Zelda is safe?“

„Of course“, Jenna replied gently. „I will find a hiding place close to the castle and wait for you there.“

„The Great Fairy‘s Fountain“, Link said. „Not even Cia would dare try to defile it. We‘ll drop you off there on our way to Zelda.“