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carmenlire · 5 years ago

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Ever After, After All

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Alec lays awake, staring at the ceiling.

He should be the happiest person on the planet-- and he is. Turning his head, something in Alec eases at the sight of Magnus, moonlight bouncing off warm skin, making him look at once ethereal and deeply human.

His fiancé of a handful of hours is stunning, even with messy hair and chapped lips. A part of Alec-- the unforgivably sentimental part that he usually tries to tamp down-- thinks that Magnus is the most gorgeous man on earth, just like this.

Twisting his ring by sight alone, Alec feels the coolness of the gold band and he smiles a little. The happiness that curls around his heart is stymied, though, and he hates it. He hates that there’s room for anything else right now except blinding joy and all the love in the world.

Because there’s grief, too. There’s a weight in his chest that just grows more oppressive whenever he tries to push it away. It’s a dank cloud that covers everything, turning it into the worst sort of purgatory.

Lifting up onto an elbow, Alec leans over Magnus and kisses the corner of his mouth. “Love you,” he murmurs and Magnus stirs, turning onto his side, reaching out for Alec with a hand that doesn’t quite manage to find him. The move warms Alec, pushes the maelstrom away the tiniest bit. Still, he sighs and carefully climbs out of bed, grabbing his phone on his way out.

Using the moonlight, he leaves their bedroom and pads into the living room. He reaches for one of the squat glasses on Magnus’s drink cart and then the decanter along the edge. The low light sets the crystal gleaming and Alec sighs into the quiet darkness, pours a splash or two of brandy and takes a small, lingering sip.

It’s a warm summer night and so he makes his way to the french doors. Opening one door, a light breeze drifts over him and Alec takes a bracing breath as he steps onto the balcony. He sits down on the couch-- or really, he falls onto it.

He feels heavy and exhausted and he’s not quite sure how to fix things.

Shifting forward on the couch, Alec rests elbows on his knees. Head down, slowly rolling his glass between his hands, his shoulders droop.

Out here, like this, it’s easy to imagine that he’s the only person in the world. Like this, it’s hard to know the right answer to a question he’s been asking himself for years.

Frustrated, Alec throws back the rest of his drink. Swallowing hard, he sets the glass down on the ground as he pulls out his phone. The light from the screen glares up at him, makes him wince.

His eyes adjust quick enough though as he swipes to unlock the phone and he opens his contact list, scrolls down to a number he knows by heart.

His thumb hovers over the call button. He hesitates for what seems like ages but he just can’t do it. Forgetting that it’s the middle of the night, Alec doesn’t even know where he’d start that conversation.

Raking his free hand through his hair, Alec doesn’t know what to do. In an ideal world, sure. Unfortunately, this world isn’t perfect and he’s achingly aware of that fact.

“Trouble sleeping?”

Looking up, Alec smiles wanly at Magnus. “You could say that.”

His fiancé has haphazardly thrown a robe on, leaving it untied, and he doesn’t waste a moment walking over to Alec. Sitting down next to him, Magnus wraps an arm around his shoulders, hugs him a little closer before he kisses the side of his head.

Nosing along his cheek, Magnus’s voice is low as he says, “Talk to me, darling.”

Looking over at him, Alec shrugs a little before he looks back down. His hand falls to Magnus’s thigh, strokes an absent thumb over skin and silk.

“I just,” he starts, before breaking off with an exasperated breath. Tilting his head so that it’s resting on Magnus’s arm, Alec stares up at the sky, at the millions of stars twinkling down on them.

“I just,” he repeats softly, “Wish that I could tell my mom that I’m engaged, that I met a man and fell head over heels in love with him and that I know, without a doubt, that he’s the love of my life.”

Shifting over to look at Magnus’s face, Alec sees him already staring down at him, expression soft and full of dawning understanding.

“I wish I could tell her that the past five years have been the best five years of my life and that when he asked me to marry him tonight-- when I finally realized why he’d been stealing furtive looks in my direction for the past few weeks and why he’d seemed so nervous all damn day-- I started crying but it was okay because he wiped the tears away with a shit-eating grin as he held up a ring.”

Alec’s voice is hoarse as he continues, “I wish I could tell my mom that I’m happy and just how much I love you but I can’t. Not if I still want her in my life, not if I still want a relationship with her. There’s this whole part of my life that she knows nothing about and it feels wrong and weird but I can’t change things and I hate that for the rest of my life, she’ll never know this piece of me. I hate that I have to censor myself, that whenever I talk about you, it’s just as a friend. I hate that I’m thirty goddamn years old and afraid to tell my mother the truth.”

Closing his eyes to keep more tears at bay, Alec’s voice is barely above a whisper as he manages to finish, “I hate that I know just how conditional my mother’s love is and that I have to keep these secrets-- that I have to protect her whenever every lie, either outright or by omission, feels like fucking glass in my throat.”

“Oh Alexander,” Magnus whispers. “I’m so sorry, darling.”

With a wet laugh, Alec shakes his head, resigned. “You don’t need to be sorry, babe. I am so fucking happy to be your husband. I just wish I could share it with my mom.”

Magnus’s voice is tentative as he asks, “I know we’ve talked about this before but are you sure about Maryse’s reaction? I know she’s a stern woman but I’ve seen the way she looks at you and she loves you, Alec. She really does. You’ve said yourself that she’s so much better since she divorced Robert.”

“And she is,” Alec agrees before he frowns. “But that doesn’t change how conservative she is. Divorce notwithstanding, she’s very traditional. As much as it hurts, I know that she loves me-- but only to a certain point. We're from an old family and she's always kept those values, that outlook that scorns any hint of scandal. I couldn’t stand to see her face if I told her I was gay, that I was marrying a man. It would infuriate her and devastate us both.”

Alec closes his eyes on a deep sigh, twisting so that he can shove his face against Magnus’s neck. He hugs him tight, breathes a little easier at the heat radiating from Magnus, thankful for the millionth time that his boyfriend-- fiancé, he corrects with a smile-- runs warm.

Rubbing his back, Magnus kisses the shell of his ear before he says, “I support you no matter what you decide, Alexander. And while I’d love nothing more than to shout to the world that I love you and you’re my everything, I’m perfectly content being introduced to your mother as simply your best friend. We've done it for years, after all.”

Silence falls over the balcony as the two of them turn to their own thoughts. After awhile, Alec finds it in himself to laugh. “At least Jace, Max, and Izzy know. I don’t know what I’d do if I had to hide us from them, too.”

Making a little noise of amusement that Magnus would deny to his dying day is a snort of laughter, he pulls back to meet Alec’s eyes. “Yes, it’s a very good thing indeed that your siblings know about us-- just think how traumatizing it would’ve been when they walked in on us that time during vacation if they hadn’t.”

Alec shudders, a little dramatic just to see Magnus’s smile widen. “I never would’ve lived it down,” he replies gravely.

Alec relaxes into Magnus and they stay out on the balcony a little while longer until he shivers in the coolness. Magnus takes that as a hint and urges Alec to standing, guiding them back to their bedroom. Alec’s breath catches as their hands interlace, as he feels Magnus’s thumb run over his engagement ring.

As they fall into bed, Alec finally feels the weight slough off him. He knows it’s but a respite, that these feelings will plague him again, but he has Magnus and he can’t regret anything to do with the man he’d fallen for ages and ages ago.

Turning onto his side, Alec feels Magnus lay a bare kiss on between his shoulders, relaxes under the arm thrown over his waist.

He falls asleep, eager for morning to dawn bright and early, eager for the future he knows will be spent at Magnus's side.

Laughing, Alec opens the car door. Getting out of the backseat, he sees Magnus already standing on the sidewalk, shaking his head in bemusement.

“What,” he asks, grinning. “I’m right and you know it.”

Magnus pouts, actually pouts, and Alec’s helpless to do anything but pull him closer as soon as possible, immediately. He closes the door to the cab with barely a thought, all of his focus on the man in front of him.

Thankfully, the street isn’t busy and Alec’s able to wrap his arms around Magnus, hands resting low on his back as he guides his fiancé back, away from the curb. The doorman opens the door, expressionless, and Alec keeps walking him forward until they’ve entered the lobby of the hotel.

Magnus isn’t fazed at all. Trusting Alec to keep him from running into anything, he wraps his arms around Alec’s neck, sending him a half-assed glare.

“I know nothing of the sort, I assure you,” he says, playfully supercilious and infuriatingly attractive for it.

“C’mon,” Alec wheedles. “Chocolate peanut butter is a combination fit for kings. Our cake is going to be so delicious.”

Magnus voice is dry as he replies, “Alexander, you seem to forget that our cake is going to be three tiers. That’s three different flavors, none of which should be a glorified Reese’s cup. Peanut butter and chocolate is disgusting and I refuse to subject our guests to it.”

“Disgusting,” Alec squawks, indignant. “How can I be in love with someone who apparently has defunct taste buds? Why do you hate joy so much, babe?”

“We have two hours to decide on our wedding cake, darling. I’m sure we can come to an agreement in that time. For instance, mint chocolate chip is absolutely--”

“A no-go,” Alec says firmly.

Magnus nods, grimacing in distaste. “Definitely. Ugh. Now those are people are wrong. Imagine liking that combination, dear God.”

Biting back a laugh, Alec leans in and kisses Magnus before he can get too worked up. He’d once listened to a twenty five minute diatribe on just why mint chocolate ice cream was the devil’s flavor.

It’s early fall and the two of them have started planning things in earnest, having decided on a winter wedding. Neither one had seen the point in waiting any longer and with only those closest to them invited, they’d found a charming hotel in Brooklyn that had an elegantly cozy vibe that they both enjoyed and a weekend free in December.

Working with the hotel’s kitchen, they’d finalized the menu just last week and this afternoon their appointment was to work out their ideas for the wedding cake.

Wryly, Alec thinks about just how different their opinions were on sweets. The next two hours promised to be lively, if nothing else.

They walk to the maitre d and are escorted through the restaurant and back to the kitchen immediately. It’s an off time between lunch and dinner and there are only a few tables taken. Alec’s eyes scan over and see a mother and daughter in the corner having tea and a few elderly women near the front having drinks. There’s a large table on the far side of the room, chatting loudly but it’s full of people in suits and Alec doesn’t pay them any mind.

The afternoon’s productive and Alec gets his peanut butter chocolate layer. It’s the top of the cake, which means it’s the smallest, but Alec will take what he can get. The both agree on the other two tiers easily enough and most of their time is spent on how they want the cake to look instead of what’s in it.

They walk out of the restaurant in the late afternoon, Alec’s arm over Magnus’s shoulder, and come to a stop in the hotel lobby. Magnus comes around until he’s facing Alec, little grin on his face and Alec doesn’t even try to stop the urge to lean in and kiss him.

He’s so caught up on Magnus, on the euphoria of completing yet another step to their forever, that he doesn’t notice that the large group that had been dining in the restaurant are finished with their meal, that they’re standing and coming towards the hotel restaurant’s entrance across the lobby. Smiling into the kiss, Alec’s hands sweep up to the lapels of Magnus’s blazer, hauling him a little closer when he hears his fiancé let out a little hum of happiness.

He doesn’t notice the figure that comes to a screeching stop, her companions continuing on past them without taking note of the couple in the lobby.

“Alec?”

Wrenching away from Magnus, Alec breaks the kiss with a gasp. He looks over at the voice he’d know anywhere. Eyes wide, the flush that had bloomed in his cheeks just a few moments before leaves in a rush, leaving him pale and stricken.

His gaze is glued to his mother, standing in the middle of the hotel lobby, hands gripping each other so tightly that even from here he can see the marks her nails are scoring into tender skin.

“Mom,” he replies hoarsely. “What are you doing here?”

Back ramrod straight, she nods stiffly towards the group that are walking out of the hotel, into the fall sunshine outside, oblivious to the carnage behind them. “I had a business lunch with the firm this afternoon.”

Her eyes flit between him and Magnus. Alec catches the way her gaze lingers on the way one of his hands have come up to rest against the side of Magnus’s neck before she stills and grows pale. Alec stops breathing as he realizes she’s seen the ring on his finger. He feels Magnus start to pull away but it’s from a distance.

Alec jerks back, clearing his throat. His mind is fuzzy and he can’t think. It’s just white noise and terror, nausea building in the back of his throat at what his mother just saw, at the realization he can see forming in her eyes.

Taking another step back, he shoves his hands in his pockets. His shoulders hunch but he doesn’t notice the instinctive need to make himself smaller, less visible.

Maryse’s voice is quiet as she speaks, finally breaking the spell of silence that had decided on them.

“What’s is this, Alec?”

Eyes burning, Alec opens his mouth but nothing comes out. He can feel Magnus’s gaze heavy on him but it’s nothing to his mom right in front of him.

Speechless, Alec can’t form the words he needs to release the tension. He can’t deny that he was kissing Magnus and most of him-- damn near all of him-- abhors the very thought. Self-preservation wars with pride and he’s stuck in the middle, watching hopelessly as his relationship with his mother crumbles into fucking dust in front of him.

All of a sudden, Maryse shakes her head, just a little. She smiles but it’s brittle, already breaking at the corners as she says in a bright voice, “You know what-- I’ m sorry. I forgot I had a meeting and I’m running late. I have to go.”

Without another word or a backwards glance, Maryse sweeps past them, sunlight pours into the lobby from the hotel entrance for a few brief seconds before the door closes behind his mother and then it’s just him and Magnus, alone except for hotel staff that are keeping a discreet distance.

Alec just stands there, in the middle of the lobby. He stares at the door his mother had all but ran through and feels his heart break.

Tears blur his vision but they don’t have a chance to fall.

Magnus comes into his line of vision and Alec looks up to see his fiancé watching him with steady eyes. Alec closes his own as the knowledge crashes down on him about what just happened.

His mother saw him with Magnus and left. His breath hitches at what that means.

Despair starts creeping in, grief an insurmountable wave. He feels the first tear fall and knows it’s going to be the first in an ocean of devastation.

Magnus wipes away the tear, brings his other hand up to cup Alec’s face. He brings them together until their foreheads are touching but Alec keeps his eyes closed, desperately trying to stave off the tsunami of emotion that’s roiling just below the surface. He bites his lip and tastes blood but it helps stop him from breaking down in the lobby of the hotel and for that, he’s grateful.

“Come on, darling. Let’s get you home.”

Alec doesn’t say anything, just lets himself be guided outside and into the back of a cab. The ride home passes in a blur, all of his thoughts still back at the hotel.

Magnus leads them up to their loft and Alec changes mechanically into a pair of pajamas, pulling on a ragged hoodie of Magnus’s from when they were in college.

His fiancé doesn’t say anything, merely climbs into bed with him. Alec crawls over until he can rest his head on Magnus’s chest and even though he squeezes his eyes shut hard enough to hurt, he can’t hold back the sobs that have been building for almost an hour.

Shadows grow long in their bedroom as Magnus’s shirt grows damp. Neither one says anything and Alec’s fingers dig into Magnus’s sides trying to get a handle on the overwhelming pain of knowing that his mom had seen his truth and left him.

He’s an adult, a grown man, but it still hurts. It hurts so goddamn bad to know that his worst fears have been confirmed, that his mom can’t love him despite this one thing.

A small piece of him wishes he could be different for her. A larger piece is angry, furious that she would stop loving him just because he’s gay, because he’s not straight.

Most of him is just tired, though, and sadness is a suffocating blanket that lays over him like lead.

A headache is throbbing behind his eyes when Alec finally falls asleep, Magnus’s hands smoothing his hair, their hands held over his heart.

A few days later, Alec’s phone rings just as he’s about to take the lasagna out of the oven. Preoccupied, he doesn’t glance at the screen as he fumbles to answer, assuming it’s Magnus asking which wine would be appropriate for dinner tonight.

“Hey, babe, I’m making pasta if you wanna get--”

“Alec.”

Everything comes crashing to a halt as Alec hears his mother’s voice instead of Magnus’s.

“Mom.” Wariness seeps into his tone along with dread. He doesn’t know what to think, had assumed that they’d probably just never talk again.

Maryse is brisk and no emotion bleeds into her voice as she says, “I’m coming over tomorrow for lunch. I’ll see you at noon.”

She waits for Alec to manage a weak, “Okay,” before she’s rushing out a goodbye and hanging up.

Pulling the phone from his ear after he hears the two little beeps that signal the end of the call, Alec stares at the screen as it goes black.

He has no idea what to expect tomorrow and he’s startled from the whirlwind thoughts as his phone starts vibrating in his hand, this time Magnus’s name popping up on the screen.

He curses as he shoves the phone between his ear and shoulder, reaching for the oven mitts he’d abandoned just a few minutes prior.

He gets the lasagna out just before it starts to burn and when Magnus brings home a bottle of zinfandel, Alec ignores the inquisitive looks as he manages to drink the entire bottle--sans Magnus’s lone glass-- before they’re even done with their salads.

They make it an early night after watching a few hours of HGTV and when Alec wakes up the next morning, he has a faint headache as dread makes his stomach lurch.

Magnus had left early for work and Alec spends most of the morning cleaning the apartment. While Maryse had been over before, she’d always thought that the two of them were roommates. They’d shared a dorm room their freshman year of college and both had cited time and time again whenever she was within earshot that it was convenient to live with a friend they’d known so long and it helped cut rent costs.

Cursing the fact that he was a writer and had nothing to do since he’d just sent his latest book to his editor for final review-- Alec would’ve given just about anything today to have an office to go into-- he flinches when he hears a firm, insistent knock on the door.

Taking a deep breath, Alec opens the door to see his mother standing there. He’s surprised to find that instead of her usually severely cut suits, she’s wearing a pair of jeans with an oversized sweater.

He can’t remember the last time he say his mother dressed so down.

Her purse is held in a death grip.

“Mom,” he manages, opening the door for her to enter.

Maryse doesn’t say anything for a moment but then she stuns him by stepping forward and pulling him into a hug.

Not knowing what else to do, Alec wraps his arms around her and swallows hard when Maryse doesn’t immediately let go, when she just squeezes him tight and starts swaying them back and forth gently.

When she does finally pull back, Alec’s shocked and not a little dismayed to see tear tracks on her cheeks.

“Let’s have a seat,” Maryse says with a small smile and Alec must not move fast enough for her because she rests an arm around his back and pushes him toward the living room.

They sit down on the couch and Alec watches as his mom takes a deep breath, as though bracing herself, before she looks over at him. Whatever bravado she’d seemed to have has vanished and Maryse looks uncertain as she asks quietly, “How long?”

Taking the abruptness in stride, Alec’s voice is gentle as he breaks the news. He won’t hide the truth any longer and there’s a piece of him that’s glad to finally be honest. “We’ve been friends since college. We started dating five years ago.”

Maryse clears her throat and he thinks he sees disappointment in her eyes as she asks, “And how long have you been married?”

It takes a moment for the question to register but once it does, Alec merely shakes his head. “We aren’t married-- yet. We’re engaged.” His mouth kicks up into a quiet smile. “Magnus proposed a few months ago.”

As her shoulders slump with obvious relief, Alec’s hackles rise. It’s one thing to know his mother’s reaction; it’s another thing entirely to see just how relieved she is that he isn’t married yet.

Before he can snap at her though, she surprises him yet again when she says, “I knew you could afford rent on your own,” as though to herself.

Blinking stupidly at her, Alec doesn’t know what to say.

Maryse sighs and he’s horrified to see tears forming in her eyes. She smiles up at him and it’s sad. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Clearing his throat, Alec says the first thing that came to mind. “I didn’t want you to disown me.”

Maryse closes her eyes, looking as though she’d just been dealt a blow. “Oh God, Alec.”

When she opens her eyes a second later, she meets his eyes and he’s a little taken aback at the intensity of her stare. “I love you, Alec. You’re my son. Of course I would never disown you.”

While a part of Alec thrills at the words he can’t help the bitterness that coats his insides. “You told me once that it would break your heart if any of your children were gay,” he reminds her. “You said that you would consider them ruined. Remember that and ask me again why I never told you.”

Maryse’s face leeches of all color. Her lips are bloodless as she asks, “When?”

Alec shrugs. “In high school.”

Maryse leans forward. Resting her elbows on her thighs, she stares in front of her, eyes unseeing. The steady ticking of the grandfather clock is the only sound in the room for a long while. Alec feels like his nerves are shredding but he stays still and waits for what comes next.

He remembers that day-- that morning-- with crystal clarity. He remembers the way his stomach had dropped at the words, the way he’d had to hide his unshed tears as Maryse signed a permission slip for Max. He remembers the ease with which she’d said the words and had known that she meant them with all her heart.

Those words had rattled around in his brain for ages before he’d successfully pushed them down. They still reappear sometimes-- whenever he thinks of ever telling her, whenever he sees the looks he and Magnus sometimes get when they hold hands in public. He’s in such a better place now than he was back then, though, and it’s with that thought in mind that Alec steels his shoulders and looks up to meet his mother’s eyes.

He sees tears spill over and Maryse wiping them away with a careless hand. “I won’t pretend to remember saying that, though I’m sure I did. I’ve had a lot of time the past few days to sit and think and I know now that I’ve said things that must have been hurtful. I am so sorry, Alec. I’m sorry you ever felt like I would disown you, like I would-- what? Stop loving you?”

Alec doesn’t say anything, merely nods mutely. Maryse takes his response and her eyes close in defeat. She covers her face with her hands and shudders.

Alec doesn’t comfort her. He doesn’t say a word. Most of him is on tenterhooks but there’s a big part of him that’s getting vicious satisfaction at seeing her so torn up over this. Maryse will never know just how deep her words cut or what he did to silence her voice in his head. They've gone a long way in mending their relationship since she divorced Robert but he figures she can handle a few tears.

Still, she is his mother and he does love her. When she drops her hands to look over at him again, he merely raises a brow, a challenge in his gaze.

Taking a deep breath, Maryse reaches over and covers his hand with her own. “I’m sorry,” she repeats helplessly. “I know it doesn’t mean jack shit, that it’s probably too little too late, but I am. You are my son, Alec,” she says with a smile that reaches her eyes. “You are my darling baby boy and you always will be. I want you to know that I love you and I accept you and there’s nothing-- absolutely nothing-- that you could do to stop that.”

Alec’s gaze drops down to his jeans. He’s suddenly uncomfortable under the onslaught but Maryse doesn’t let that deter her. She moves over on the couch and wraps her arms around his neck, hauling him close for a hug that hurts his ribs but eases his heart.

“I mean it,” she whispers and Alec’s breath catches on a sob as he realizes that this is actually happening. His mom isn’t yelling at him, isn’t staring at him with frigid disgust in her eyes. “I love you more than you could possibly know, Alexander Gideon Lightwood. I spent a lot of years unhappy and taking it out on everyone else, including my children. It shames me now how cold I was towards you, that it was to the point that you felt you couldn’t talk to me, couldn’t share that piece of yourself with me.”

Pulling back, Maryse smiles into his eyes as she thumbs away his tears. “You’re in love with Magnus,” she says softly. “And you’re going to marry him and I had no idea. I won’t offer excuses but I hope that you decide to let me in starting today. I never want you to feel like you can’t talk to me, Alec. About anything or everything. I’m always here for you, whatever you need. There’s nothing you can do to make me not love you. Okay?”

Alec’s throat aches and his voice is gone so he just nods.

They both sniffle and end up laughing, wiping their own tears away.

“I love you, mom. Thank you for being okay with this.”

“Of course I’m okay with this. I was shocked when I stood up from the table and saw you kissing Magnus and I didn’t handle that well, I’ll admit. I’m probably lucky that you even opened the door for me today,” she says with a grimace. “But whatever I was feeling, it was about my own blindness and whatever I had done to push you away. It was never in condemnation of you or your relationship. I hope you can believe that.”

“I can,” Alec replies just above a whisper. “It shocked me, too, to see you there.”

Maryse nods a little shakily. It’s quiet for a moment but it’s not awkward this time; it’s not tense. No, instead it’s contemplative and more comfortable than Alec could’ve imagined, to sit with his mother after she knew his biggest, darkest secret.

Eventually, Maryse shifts in her seat and Alec looks over at her to see his mother smiling and it’s teasing, yet still gentle.

“So, you and Magnus? I’ve got to admit that once I got over my shock and thought about it, it’s appallingly obvious that you two have been together for years, that there was more than friendship there.”

“What do you mean,” Alec asks blankly.

Throwing him an unimpressed look, Maryse drolly replies, “There was that time I visited your dorm at college-- this would’ve been your senior year-- only to find you moping around. I took you out for dinner and you spent the whole time talking about Magnus and his new girlfriend and how she was a vampire sucking all the life out of him.”

Alec rolls his eyes but can’t contain his blush. While he hadn’t known it at the time, Magnus had only gone out with Camille to try and bury his feelings for Alec. Alec, thinking he didn’t stand a chance next to Camille, had been heartbroken and snappish towards Magnus for the entirety of the three months the couple had dated.

Neither one of them had been at their best senior year, he thinks back now with a wince.

“There was also that time you and Magnus spent Christmas at the house and Magnus bought you that rare first edition book while you’d gotten him that Cartier ear cuff.”

When Alec gives her an incredulous look, Maryse just shrugs. “I know Cartier when I see it, Alec. I thought it a bit excessive to get your friend a piece of jewelry that easily cost a few thousand dollars.”

Groaning, Alec glares but it’s without heat. The heat in his cheeks returns, though, as Maryse continues.

“Oh, and let’s not forget that time we went on a family vacation and you insisted on bringing Magnus. At the time, you said it was because everyone else was bringing a date and you didn’t want to third wheel the whole trip. But then I went out to the pool one night and you and Magnus were there. Naked. You stammered something about you two forgetting your trunks but still wanting to swim and Magnus didn’t look me in the eye for weeks afterward. I really should’ve put the pieces together sooner,” she ends with a huff.

“I guess we weren’t all that subtle,” Alec grudgingly admits as he hides a smile.

“No, you weren’t,” Maryse agrees and they share a laugh before she suddenly sobers.

“Alec?”

“Yeah, mom?”

“I know that an hour can’t erase a decades-long chasm but I was wondering if . . .”

She breaks off and Alec turns to look at her, expectancy. “Yeah?”

“I was hoping that I could attend your wedding. I know I have no right to infringe upon your day but I would love to see my son get married, to see you happy.”

Alec’s quiet for a moment as he looks down at his hands, fidgeting with his engagement ring. “You know,” he starts. “When Jace and Clary got married, I was Jace’s best man. I sat at the bridal party table at the front of the room and watched as Jace and Clary shared their first dance. And then Clary danced with Luke and-- and you danced with Jace.”

Alec breaks off with a shuddering breath as he gathers his thoughts, turning over to look at his mom. “I watched Jace dance with you and I was struck with an envy so intense I could hardly stand it. I wanted that. I looked from the two of you over to where Magnus was sitting with all the other guests and I burned with resentment and bitterness and grief. I teared up and I cried and everyone just thought I was overcome with emotion because of Jace and Clary. They didn’t know it was because I was seeing something I’d never have but wanted so badly that I could taste it.”

Maryse’s expression is stricken as she listens to him but she doesn’t interrupt as he continues, “When Magnus proposed to me in July, I was the happiest man in the world. There was a piece of me, though, that mourned the fact that I couldn’t tell you, that I couldn’t share that joy. And I hated you a little for it,” he admits now. “I hated that even though you’d changed so much and our relationship was so much better, I still had to keep a piece of myself from you-- a pretty fucking big piece.”

Alec’s voice fades away as he reaches over and covers his mother’s hand with his own. “I would love nothing more than for you to come to my wedding, mom. I want to you to be there on the happiest day of my life. You can expect your invitation at the end of the month but consider this an official offer.”

“Yes,” Maryse chokes out. “Of course I’ll be there, baby.”

Alec smiles tremulously. “Thank you.”

Laughing incredulously, Maryse replies, “No, thank you Alec for giving me a chance. I promise I won’t fuck it up.”

Alec laughs a little at the language, something his mother rarely indulges in. “I’ll take your word for it,” he says and he knows by the look in Maryse’s eyes that she knows how important those words are.

Relaxing into the couch, Maryse looks over at him. “So, tell me all about Magnus, dear. It looks like I have a decade to catch up on and I can’t wait to hear about it.”

Alec looks at her for a minute, a pregnant pause where neither of them dare to breath before he’s leaning into the couch too for a more comfortable position and he starts talking.

He tells his mom about the first time they met and when Alec knew he had a crush on the man. He talks about their friendship and how it had become so much more and how both of them had been idiots for a couple of years before Alec had finally gotten drunk at his birthday party and confessed his feelings to Magnus who-- also drunk-- had immediately surged forward and kissed him.

Things had been a bit of a disaster for a few weeks after that, both of them thinking the other had merely done what they had because of the alcohol, before their friends had reached the breaking point and set them up on a blind date.

The rest is history-- except it isn’t because then Alec talks about their first date and the first time they said I love you and it winds around until he’s telling her how Magnus was his first boyfriend and how he’d realized he was gay in middle school and they laugh and they cry and Alec’s wrung out and exhausted and he can see his mother is the same but they don’t stop talking.

Eventually, when his face hurts from smiling so much and Maryse has curled up in the corner of the couch, his mom changes the subject.

“So, I did some research and I was wondering if you had plans for the afternoon?”

Looking over at Maryse, Alec’s interested is piqued as she reaches for the purse she’d set down on the floor. Opening it, she pulls out a dvd and holds it out for him tentatively.

There’s a hopeful look in her eye, cautiously optimistic, as she explains, “I ended up taking yesterday and Wednesday off. Whenever I left you at the hotel, I walked around for a couple hours and when I went into work Tuesday, I couldn’t concentrate worth a damn. I left before lunch and I’ve spent the past few days reading about what it’s like to have a child that-- that’s gay.”

She holds up a hand defensively though Alec hadn’t moved a muscle. Most of him is pleasantly surprised to see she’d cared enough to do anything.

“I read a few books and when I was online, I found a list of LGBT movies. This one is a newer one and had rave reviews. I thought maybe-- if you weren’t busy-- we could watch it together.”

Looking down at the dvd case, Alec bites back a laugh as he sees Love, Simon. Magnus had taken him to see it see it the day it premiered in theaters and the fact that his mom of all people had bought it and brought it over is an olive branch he never saw coming.

Nodding, Alec smiles at Maryse and catalogs the uneasy tension drains out of her at his acquiescence.

“I’d love to, mom.”

Alec stands and puts the dvd in the player. While the movie previews play, he makes a big bowl of popcorn and when he comes back to the living room with a glass of his mother’s favorite wine, she smiles up at him gratefully.

The two of them watch Love, Simon and while Alec had enjoyed the movie the first time he’d seen it, he’s distracted as he spends most of the movie watching his mother’s reactions.

She laughs and he’s a little-- a lot-- surprised when his mom mutters, “Fuck him,” when Martin starts blackmailing Simon, when she reaches for his hand and squeezes when Simon’s outed and his friends abandon him.

They both cry when Simon breaks down in his room, when his mom tells him that he’s the same person he’s always been, that now he gets to exhale.

When Magnus comes home, Blue has just been revealed and Maryse is crowing in triumph.

“I knew it,” she exclaims, turning to look at Alec. “I knew since he ate the damned orange oreos."

Hearing the front door open, Alec sees the way Magnus’s eyes widen at their tear-streaked yet happy faces. He sees his fiancé start to back away and turn tail, not wanting to intrude or his own sense of self-preservation rearing its head-- but Alec pulls away from where he’d been leaning into his mom to gesture Magnus closer.

Looking up at what had caught Alec’s attention, Maryse focuses on Magnus.

Alec catches his breath, knowing that this is make or break. Maryse can talk but when she’s confronted with the man Alec’s given his heart to, the man he spends his life with, he wonders if she’ll be able to really accept things.

Maryse stands up and Magnus looks caught between fleeing and steeling himself for whatever’s about to happen. His mom surprises them both when she pulls Magnus into a hug, holding him tight. Magnus, for his part, looks stunned but he drops his briefcase and returns her hold, slowly relaxing.

Pulling back, Maryse doesn’t even acknowledge Alec, all of her focus on Magnus as she says, “Thank you for loving my boy, Magnus, and while this is long overdue, I’d like to welcome you to the family.”

Magnus blinks twice before he eases into a grin. “Thank you, Maryse. I appreciate that and I hope you mean it.”

“Oh, I do,” Maryse whispers. “You’ve no idea how much.”

She smiles at him before making her way to the couch and as the end credits of the movie start to play, Magnus heads toward their bedroom to change into something more comfortable and appropriate for the evening they’d planned to spend at home.

Excusing himself from Maryse, Alec follows him and when he pauses at the threshold, it’s to see a dress shirt flying out of the closet to land on the floor. He walks over to Magnus and wraps his arms around his fiancé from behind, nosing along the back of his neck, kissing the juncture where it meets his shoulder.

“It looks like you’ve had quite the day, darling.”

Alec huffs out a laugh. “Yeah, you could say that. She texted me last night, telling me that we were having lunch today.”

“So that’s why you got wine drunk.”

“Yeah,” Alec confirms before moving right along. “We had a talk and she’s okay with me-- with us. More than okay, in fact. It’s been a hell of an afternoon but we’re good, babe. Everything’s finally out in the open and it doesn’t look like it’s the end of the world, after all.”

Turning in his hold, Magnus lays his hands against Alec’s chest. “I am so incredibly happy to hear that, Alexander.”

The two of them talk for a few more minutes, catching up on their day before Alec asks, “Would you be okay if I asked her to stay for dinner? It’s okay if you had a long day and just want it to be the two of us but--”

Magnus holds up a finger, silencing Alec with a smile. “Of course it’s okay. You never have to ask to have your mother over, darling.”

Alec grins, a little dopey, and he takes Magnus’s hand and leads him into the living room. Maryse looks up at the sound of their steps and while he sees her take note of their joined hands she does nothing but smile.

She stays for dinner and ends up drinking so much that she spends the night in their guest room. The night had ended with the three of them having wine and swapping stories of Alec and while his face had burned in embarrassment, Alec wouldn’t have changed the evening for the world.

It’s everything he’d dared to hope for and nothing that he’d thought he’d ever get. For the longest time, it was nothing he thought he’d deserved and as he climbs into his side of the bed and moves over until he can reach Magnus, Alec’s content for the first time in longer than he cares to admit.

He hadn’t known just how heavy the weight of the truth had been all these years but now that his mom knows, he feels so light that he’s dizzy with it.

He’s the happiest he can ever remember being and he falls asleep without a care in the world.

Later that year, Alec looks up as the DJ announces that it’s time for the mother-son dance. Maryse stands from her seat and he can already see the tears in her eyes as she walks toward him, holding out her hands.

Alec takes them and they start a slow dance as the music starts to play. Maryse had asked to choose the song and as he hears the beginning notes, his gaze flies to hers to see his mom already grinning.

“They were you’re favorite when you were little,” she says with an arch look. “Nick was your favorite wasn’t he? Or was it Brian?”

He rolls his eyes a little, though he can’t help but mutter, “Nick Carter was cute, okay? At least back then.”

He’s treated to Maryse throwing her head back and laughing out loud and Alec echoes her as they move around the dance floor.

He listens to the words and lets the lyrics soak into him. By the end of the song, they’re barely moving, just moving back and forth really and Maryse is crying in earnest. A few tears slip before he can stop them and she wipes them away with a careful thumb.

When the song ends, instead of pulling back, Maryse pulls him close for a bone crushing hug and Alec holds her just as tight as he feels a piece of himself he’d thought gone long ago slot back into place.

It’s the feeling of coming home and whenever his mom eventually guides him over to his husband, she reaches for Magnus’s hand and lays it over his before letting go and saying, “Take care of his heart like I never could.”

Magnus looks at Maryse before his gaze lifts to Alec’s and Alec smiles, faint but real, as the love of his life replies, “Don’t worry, that’s just how I plan to spend the rest of my life.”

Alec hauls him close as Maryse steps back and lays a searing kiss on his mouth.

When they go out to the dance floor a few minutes later, they start an easy waltz as they grin at each other.

“And they lived happily ever after,” Alec says quietly, staring at Magnus like he’s his whole damn world.

“And they lived happily ever after,” Magnus echoes before pulling him down for a lingering kiss that breaks just a few seconds later, the couple smiling too brightly to continue.

#oof i wrote this entire thing today #I think it's some kind of record lol #im so tired #and it's finally time for dinner #ever after after all #malec fic #my writing

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