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lepertamar · 3 years ago

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PART 1 of 4(?): LUCIFER ON THEURGY AND HOLIES, NARRATIVE STRUCTURE THERE.

Bullet pointed thing not separating out good and bad stuff because most of the bad stuff is just like, failures to follow through on good stuff? Or weird arm-twists when the good stuff starts implying things a little too numinous and rebellious to the worldbuilding order and gets forcibly reined in?

Incapable of organizing my thoughts properly even though I tried so I’m just going to post all my thoughts and semi-arbitrarily break them apart into sections, I’ll probably come back to add links to the other parts later:

(I broke this in half lol becuz is was seriously too long but anyway part 2 which is more holies stuff is here)

Bullet 1. Fuck, theurgy is so good. Like the concept, the entire idea of it. Just fuck that is so good. *Much better explanation of wtf it is in this meta post.*

But it’s especially good as like a gateway to interactions or concepts too complex or liminal or interactive or emergent to be captured in anything like ‘a normal physical object’ — and it makes for a really really great process from the point of view of the characters doing it (or in Tamar’s and Eliya’s cases, interacting with someone else’s for the first time.)

The hint comes percolating through, slowly, inexplicitly, (or maybe it’s just because I read that meta post I linked first? I’m not 100% sure) — the whole world is made by this. Infinite recursion of souls.

1.a Yet it’s........actually pretty shallow simply from explanation of what it is, almost new-age-y vibes that really do it a disservice, and even more an underwhelming disservice when characters are being told how to do it. This is abrahamic fantasy! No embodied and tangible rituals? No songs and chants, no mysterious properties of specific things, which would have an extra layer of meaning because all things are souls? Eliya comes up with, in total (but forcibly unacknowledged) defiance of Lucifer, spoken-word ritual type things towards the end that DO help her, powerfully so. But so much of the book’s discussion of it seems almost designed to make it sound....lame. Thank G-d for Yenatru’s early-on pov of doing his own theurgy or I would have disliked it a lot, and thanks even more to that meta post I linked.

1.b It’s just…..weird and a bit of an um, self-own, that learning about theurgy was done through the characters literally just fucking…..being taught to about theurgy. As if this was a non-fiction book! Instead of a fiction book, a fantasy one no less, where information-communication is inherently always done differently. Why not have Eliya learn theurgy by subjecting her to various theurgies, manifestations of various people, sending her on a hunt for manifestations and making her have to try to figure them out or understand what this meant until finally she understands enough to ask questions? Why not have various elaborate rituals for theurgy?

BULLET 2. Lucifer is…………!!!$$%%???&&**???>. I loathed Lucifer as a constructed character, an execution of a part of a full narrative story. Absolutely hated them. Could not stop thinking about how much I hated them, how bad it was, all the ways the execution of them completely fails and takes out huge amounts of the overall book — character arcs, concepts, worldbuilding, resonant emotions — with them in the blast radius of the author utter failure at executing them.

And yet, Lucifer’s CONCEPT is………..amazing, their BACKSTORY is phenomenal. Absolutely incredibly original and drop-dead clever and woven into the worldbuilding in a way where dozens of tiny details about them, about theurgy, about G-d, about angels, etc, all line up to collide and open in the reveal *perfectly*. On the other hand, they are absolutely loathsome as a person. But this isn’t the problem. In fact it’s awesome. It’s not a problem on the front hand of it, at all, that they are so so so awful, as a person. It fits. This is what trauma does. Tells a truth, but then that truth metastasizes into a demanding cancer covering the world.

2.a (In this book, Lucifer’s (incredibly sympathetic) fall is very, very far from either the traditionalist folk depiction (ewwww rebellion against the wise and good laws of Heaven) OR the now-ubiquitous folk resistant reading (oooooh rebellion against the unjust and oppressive laws of heaven!) Their rebellion is instead basically a rejection of The Way Angels Are Naturally Existing, which is entangled with G-d’s soul in a lawless chaotic orgasmic orgy of unchecked creation that has the pitiless one-way un-budging This Is What Is simple Being-ness of nature and the universe. And it makes so so much sense, that in the intensity of traumatized backlash to this, Lucifer is not simply wise in the ways of ethical demands for justice from G-d and the world the way (I think) Lilith is, but is instead cruelly, reductionistly, circumscribingly dogmatic. They are many other bad things — projecting, saneist, insincere, avoidant, glib, safety-fetishizing, lacking in the tiniest budge of character development, but all these mostly go back to being dogmatic.)

None of which, again, I emphasize again, is anything except BRILLIANT and perfect from a characterization perspective. All of these things fit their character conception and trauma backstory perfectly. The issue is really that not a single one of these things are unearthed or bounced off of as the bad things they are. By which I REALLY don’t mean ‘ugh why didn’t any of the characters explicitly Call Them Out [tell not show] for how awful they are while they’re just minding their own business being awful [shown not told] as a character in this story’. I hate that kind of thing. I mean simply….the other characters’ personalities, natural reactions, and in fact the entire world around Lucifer, warps wildly in order for their creepy narrowing way of steamrollering and falsely-restating-using-‘it’s just my issue’ to be enshrined and stated [telling not showing] as Correct and somehow The Way and The Truth, the Reason Yenatru is happy now, the Reason Eliya succeeded at theurgy. When there’s not a single way this actually tracks.

2.b Why does Yenatru care about this person when everything they say would be horribly devastatingly harmful to Yenatru if its content was aimed at a slightly different category of people, but happens to not be harmful to him simply because this person happens to understand him specifically? Not the tiniest bit of supporting evidence why. There’s a tiny moment, where Lucifer challenges Yenatru to challenge them, in a way where I would almost claim that Lucifer was hoping Yenatru would challenge them and argue back against them, and continue to argue against them throughout the book because Yenatru is one of the few people who could do this without deeply triggering Lucifer’s trauma. But it never ever happens. It’s also not acknowledged but sadly refused along with their friendship later on, as it also could have been. It’s devastatingly disappointing and brought my liking of Yenatru, which was so so promising and deep because he in many scenes and aspects is written so well, down many notches.

2.c Why does Eliya successfully uncritically learn anything from them? Why does she [telling not showing] credit Lucifer with anything she learned, when she very very clearly [showing not telling] actually learned everything about herself and about theurgy’s weight and truth from Yenatru and from Tamar? It shatters the imagination to think that any of what Lucifer told her would not be grade-schooler basic knowledge for a lifelong resident of this non-portal-fantasy world, unless theurgy was a Secret Misunderstood Forgotten Art (which it very explicitly and clearly is not). I could see the information Lucifer gave her as perhaps so basic that it could easily fade into the background as not really Meaning anything or being graspable — which is exactly where Yenatru and Tamar, as an unusually gifted and deeply expressive theurgist, and an unusually extreme soul-appreciator and lover, respectively, come in!!!!

2.d And also it could have been where Lucifer’s rigid, trauma-calcified, dogma could have very expressively and poignantly come in too, as something that purports to be about How Souls Are and is illuminating by dint of how hyper-specific and inapplicable to most other people it is, how it’s actually not what souls are, but is very much what a traumatizing but successful struggle to Not Be Steamrollered Into Something You’re Not is. This would have been intensely sympathetic even. And speaking of, here’s the thing: I would have liked Lucifer a thousand times better if they [as a person] had been openly *worse.* If they were outspoken and explicit about their horrible ideas, and if the book [as a narrative] had let them be a mess incapable of intentionally teaching anyone functionally (and therefore much more poignant and illuminating-of-theurgy just by existing as an example of a person, an example that changed the world). Instead of them smoothly tucking their prescriptive ideas into the stretches between other unrelated scenes of ‘oh this is just my issue, these are my own weird biases’. They would be far better if they weren’t being twisted into having the narrative state [tell not show] like they were right about everything.

Bullet 3 It’s this — that’s what I mean. Insincere and politely erasing nonviolent-communication (a specific thing I have encountered a hundred time, more damagingly than any blatant articulated disgust and hatred I have ever encountered) -- with repeated statements of ‘no it’s okay to be you :)’ ‘i don’t think you’re immoral :)’ ‘everyone is different :)’ despite everything they say belying this. Which when placed alongside everything Lucifer says when not being confronted, does not ever function as a genuine ‘don’t listen to my biases’, but instead functions as a way to avoid actually stating (and therefore baring up to an argument) any of the erasing assumptions underlying their authoritative explanations of other things, so that those assumptions sneak through undetected when they would be interrogated and valuable if they were stated.

3.a. For example, if Lucifer’s [obvious to me, but probably not obvious to anyone else who hasn’t been personally subjected to a lifetime of this language] revulsion for the Holies and Tamar was openly stated and if they tried to actually argue they were right to be revolted…..I would have loved them! Even if they are arguing Tamar (and indirectly, I too) was a disgusting thing — a ‘leper-soul’ (to quote this fanfic), mad and lost and ruined and degenerate (to quote *this canon book quote*)—I would have loved them! I have nothing but delighted love for people whose clawing desperate insistence on not being what they were raised and created to be, no matter how hateful that makes them towards my loves and experiences.

If Lucifer had said and stuck by this until proven wrong by the narrative [show not tell, or even tell or not show!], instead of simply going ‘oh don’t worry, I don’t think you’re bad :) I don’t think it’s harmful :) it’s just my issue :)’ whenever speaking about Holies, it would have been GOOD and I would have REALLY respected them. Even while everything they’ve actually said about their opinion of souls in other contexts is such that it fundamentally precludes and rejects, as sick and as nothingness and deluded and incapable of being real, the entire concept and lived real existence of Holies (Tamar: I saw them, I am someone who’s done that) — but then Lucifer being actively explicitly validated [again, i mean ‘gets validated’ as in the book states this, with a positive-presence, tell not show wording, while also refusing to admit anyone else influencing Eliya as much or more. i do NOT mean ‘waaahh it’s Obviously Validated becuz Lucifer doesn’t get explicitly called out’ or whatever].

In fact, this specific struggle, between what they state to be True, and what Tamar’s very existence declares to be a truth, would have echoed the struggle of their backstory, and conveyed the message of this book more powerfully, more clearly, more sincerely. But seeing Lucifer instead warp a way into an actively (tell not show) defined enlightened master position in the book’s narrative structure made me shake a bit, not going to lie.

Continued uhhhhhhh soon, links to other parts (continually updated) under the cut:

#LONG POST #i have 99 problems with this book and it's the most direct contact with my soul anything's had in years and complaining is really fun #the eternal combination #coal reads the stars that rise at dawn #girl with burned out and still burning eyes #VERY sorry if i forgot to put in a link somewhere i intended to.....lol #coal sings #<-new original post tag

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romanssippycup · 7 years ago

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Undeniably Important Chapter 5: Necessary Information?

This is where the science and more setting comes into play. I hope you all understand what is going on. This is one of those chapters that I just had to get right or everyone was gonna go... “wha?” Time for dimensions and powers and what not. Hope you enjoy! :)

Chapter 1 -- Chapter 2 -- Chapter 3 -- Chapter 4

"We are mental projections of your personality, but there is so much more information about us than we let on." Logan began. "We definitely do not have all the answers, but I will tell you what we do know about ourselves."

Everyone in the Mind Palace made sure they were comfy as they continued to listened to Logan's explanation.

"Every human in the world has an imagination based on their experiences, thoughts, beliefs, etc. But, It's through that imagination that ideas are produced to manipulate the real world in many different and unique ways."

"In other words, dreams can come true in the real world, but only if you have the motivation and the mind to pursue them?" Thomas asked wondering if he was correct.

"I guess that is one way to put it, but yes. Everything that happens in the physical world starts with an idea. An idea that is not tangible at first, but with hard work, can end up changing the world for better or for worse. Now in the case of regular imagination, little children might play make believe to pretend that the world worked in completely different way than what reality suggests. They might imagine a unicorn or a dragon, both of which are creatures that do not exist in the real world, but they do exist in the child's mind." Logan stopped for a second allowing Thomas to rest his brain.

Thomas took a deep breath. "Okay...so though all four of you do not exist in the real world, you exist in my mind. That makes sense."

"Because humans can create alternate realities for themselves psychologically, question their existence, and problem solve, their brains function on a higher level of thinking than what the physical world entails. The alternate realities are actually pocket dimensions that you have unlocked and they reside on a completely different plane of existence."

"My imagination is a pocket dimension?" Thomas looked at him slightly dumbfounded. "Does that mean the mind palace itself is a pocket dimension?"

Roman cut in as he knew this bit of information. "It did not used to be, it was just a part of your imagination," He gestured to himself dramatically. "It grew to be that way because you personified the different aspects of your personality: Logic, Creativity, Anxiety, and Morality. By personifying your creativity, you gave me control over your imagination, thus giving me control over the mind palace and everything in it. Basically I expanded the mind palace outside of your creativity, so that these three can have their fun. The bad thing is I don't have complete control over the mind palace anymore."

"Who said that was a bad thing? At least it doesn't look like a castle anymore." Anxiety interjected.

"Again. Who asked for your opinion Tim Burton? Because I certainly didn't."

Thomas silenced their banter. "Okay. So...this personifying thing, do you all have consciousness of your own then?"

"No. Thats too weird and creepy. We are still you." Roman shook his head.

"The point that we are all trying to get at is you have split yourself neatly into four different parts. Your mind: Logan, Your heart: me, Your spirit: Roman, Your body: Anxiety. In doing so, you allowed each part to work separately. So often, people use all 4 parts of themselves together, not allowing each side to grow individually." Morality steered the conversation back on track.

"We believe that the effect of this is you are unlocking different parts of brain, since you have been able to single us all out in your mind. I'm not sure how correct it is, but that is just my theory. After all, humans only use 10% of their brain so it very well could be true." Logan adjusted his glasses.

Thomas thought. "Wow. So if I'm getting this right, I could compare this whole situation to a computer. So like, if a bunch of files are saved on a computer, they are all just meshed together, but if I organized those files into 4 different folders, thats basically you guys. Did I get that right?"

"Correct Thomas." Logan beamed. "Now what exactly is in those folders is what we are trying to figure out. Sure I contain your facts and knowledge, but because I'm half of your left brain I am beginning to learn more about what I can do. All of us in the mind palace have the ability to teleport objects and ourselves, but I've recently found out I can control the laws of "nature" in the mind palace. For instance, I could change the course of gravity if I really wanted to." He made his note pad hover above his hands as a demonstration and then grabbed it out of the air.

"Isn't it Princey's job to change things that happen in the mind palace?" Thomas scratched his head.

"That's the thing. I do not have complete control over the Mind Palace anymore, because it houses the other three aspects of you as well, not just your imagination. It's almost as if the mind palace has become your brain itself. Figuratively speaking of course. If you took an X-ray, it would still look like your brain." Roman took a sip of his tea proud of what he said.

"Then what do you have control over in the mind palace Princey?" Thomas looked back at him.

"I can personify and summon objects. I also can decorate and shapeshift rooms to a degree. And that's about it. For now at least. We seem to be discovering more and more each day." Roman took another sip of tea.

"I can control the other three aspects and make sure balance is maintained." Morality exclaimed happily.

"Oh right. His infamous, 'dad mode'." Logic cocked his head sideways in slight annoyance. Thomas looked at him as if expecting an explanation. "He has the ability to null our abilities and reset the mind palace to default if we argue too much. Or, he can withhold our abilities if we...'act up'."

"I call it a timeout!" Morality crossed his arms and looked defiantly at the other sides, fully remembering how he had to punish each of them.

"And I have no clue what I do." Anxiety leaned back and acted like not knowing didn't bother him one bit.

"It's true. Anxiety's role in the mind palace is still a mystery to us. I'm sure we'll find out soon enough." Logan looked down at his notepad and flipped through the pages obviously trying to find something.

"Morality mentioned something about Anxiety representing my body." Thomas inputted.

"Yes. That is also one of my theories, but in order to test it out, you would have to be in a very dire situation." Logan found the page he was looking for and took a couple more notes on it. "One so dire that some involuntary functions would have to..." Logan took out a flash card then showed it to everyone else. "...'kick in'."

"Pfff." Anxiety and Roman stifled chuckles at Logan who just rolled his eyes as he knew that he was serious.

"Hm. So we will worry about that later, but how does all this play a role in you guys coming along with me to sushi tonight?" Thomas still wanted all the information he had learned to tie into the previous discussion.

"Ah. This is what I've been meaning to get to." Logan closed his notepad and set it on his lap. "Levels of consciousness/thinking are not unrelated to the different dimensions of reality. As you know, the real world reverts between the third and the fourth dimension. Well, imagination or pocket dimensions are actually parallels of the fourth, fifth, and sometimes sixth dimension that occur in the natural world. Are you familiar with the Path of Enlightenment?"

"Not really. It's like conscious, unconscious, deep sleep, then transcendental...right?"

"Somewhat. Anyways, your Imagination, Princey, resides in the fourth and fifth levels of the Path of Enlightenment which are Transcendental and Cosmic respectively. The Mind Palace itself lies right in between both of those levels, which is unique considering the fact that most other people have imaginations that lie in the Cosmic level and not lower."

"Is it because I split myself into four equal parts that my imagination is closer to the Transcendental level?"

"Yes. We believe that to be the case." Logan shifted positions slightly.

"Good job Thomas. You level headed the royal pain." Anxiety commented, smirking at Prince who was now having a hard time swallowing his tea after hearing that remark.

"Now about 'walking around' in the real world, we can do that. But only to a point where we would be in the same dimension as ghosts and spirits if they existed. Many other 'imaginary friends' can do that too, but not to the extent that they could be seen by animals with very strong senses. We can also use the objects you see in your day to day lives."

"Oh like frying pans?"

"Yes! Except you would not see us use them as there are many different versions of that particular object that exist in our dimensions."

"But that's what we will be doing when we go with you guys. We will make our own sushi and food using versions of what you see around you." Morality was ecstatic.

"And nobody will ever be able to see you?" Thomas asked enthusiastically.

"Nobody 'cept you, kiddo!"

"At least, nobody should." Anxiety added his two cents of uncertainty to the conversation.

"Well that's great then! How will you all travel, though?" Thomas scratched his chin thoughtfully

"The same as we always do when you travel." Princey stirred some sugar into his tea. "We just come with you. Don't you remember what Logic said? We exist in both the 4th and the 5th dimensions. The laws of the real world don't affect us." Princey blowed on his tea before taking a sip.

"Ah. That makes sens-"

"Ewwww!" Everyone turned to look at Roman who had the most revolting look on his face. "Who dares to switch my sugar with salt!?"

Morality and Thomas couldn't hold back the laughter that was bubbling out as they watched Roman's face.

"Obviously someone who thought you needed a taste of your own medicine." Anxiety remarked with a smirk on his face.

"Ugh!" Roman wiped his mouth in disgust and cleaned up after his small spill while Morality and Thomas continued to laugh.

Logan just sat there smiling smugly at Roman whom he managed to catch eye contact with. "I think it's safe to say we're even now."

Roman's jaw dropped open as he realized it was Logan who had played the prank on him.

Morality continued to chuckle, but replied. "Hehe! What are the odds?"

Logan's smile immediately turned straight faced as he turned to Morality with irritation.

Roman sprung at his chance. "Wow Logan. I would have never been able to figure out who pulled the prank if you hadn't said anything." The smug smile was now upon Roman's lips as he watched the logical side almost flip out of his skin.

"Roman!" Both Morality and Thomas were surprised.

"And now it's safe to say that your days are both numbered...dang." Logan face palmed at the pun he just made.

The room roared with laughter. Roman and Morality both threw their heads back while Thomas just sat giggling pretty hard. Anxiety even had to cover his mouth for fear of sound coming out.

Logan rubbed his temples with his left hand in utter embarrassment and sighed. It took about 5 minutes for all the giggling to end, at which he was very glad when it did. During the slight pause that everyone was catching their breath, Logan regained the upperhand of the conversation.

"Now that that fiasco is over, what are you going to be wearing tonight Thomas?"

Thomas's face immediatly fell. "I have no idea."

"Oh do not worry Thomas! I can help with that!" Roman assumed his fanciful pose pridefully. He dematerialized the tea set in front of him.

"And tell him to wear something that will make him look like a fool? Yeah thats definitely something you can help with." Anxiety sarcastically remarked.

Roman shot Anxiety a detesting look.

"Alright break it up you two. How about you both help me choose an outift?" Thomas proposed.

"What?" Roman was taken aback.

Anxiety shrugged. "Sure. Not like I got anything better to do."

"Anxiety, you have no fashion."

"Oh yeah? Wanna bet?" Anxiety glared at Roman smugly.

"Oh yes I will. I bet on the winds of change Thomas will pick the outfit I choose for him."

Anxiety scoffed mockingly. "Fine then. What happens when you win?"

"For one month, Whenever I sing a Disney song, you must join in with me. And you will sing the specified part I give to you." Roman outstretched a hand in Anxiety's direction. "And I mean actually sing because I know you can. You just choose not to."

Anxiety cowered at the thought. Oh was Princey going to get it. "...Okay. Then, if I win I get to control your fashion style for one whole month. All of your clothes you have now? Gone. Whatever you wake up to, will be what you have to wear for that day. Because I will have demonstrated that I do have fashion and that I was right." Anxiety was basically doing the z-snap with his shoulders.

"Hahahahaha!" Princey mockingly laughed. "Bring it."

Logan and Patton looked at each other and exchanged worried glances as if to say "how did this escalate so quickly?".

"Alright." Thomas was extremely amused. "Us three will go back to my room and we will see what we are up against when we get there." He nodded uncertainly.

"Fine by me." Anxiety looked at his fingernails.

"Let's get down to business!!" Princey began as the three of them dematerialized from the Mind Palace and into Thomas's Apartment.

Logan looked at Patton unsuredly. "What just happened?"

"I don't know. But one things for sure-"

"No puns please. No more."

"Alright Logy."

"It's Logan. Just...Logan."

Taglist: @mewsicalmiss @here-to-vent @anonymous-snake @cup-of-blue@storytellerofuntoldlegends @cookieartcannon @thagrinbery @ts-sideblog@protecterofalltheaus @pasteries-and-portugal @justanotherpurplebutterfly @remmythepegasis @leesacrakon@kitsuneprideleader @fancifulfox @dolphin-squirrel @evilmuffin@petunia9402 @greymane902 @we-get-it-youre-adorable@withoutfandomsiamnothing (Let me know if you want to be tagged for future chapters. :) Love you guys!)

#sanders sides #sanderssides #thomas sanders #thomassanders #logan sanders #logic sanders #anxiety sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #princey sanders #patton sanders #morality sanders #undeniablyimportant #logicality #prinxiety #analogical #hopeyouguyslikethis #hhhhhhh

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persephones24 · 8 years ago

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Carnival Rides

Okay so could I have an mgg one shot where reader and him have been dating for a while and he just takes her on a very magical date, starting with like a long drive and you end up in a theme park.

Sure thing anon, here is your MGG imagine. And sorry it took me so long. i hope you like it.

Pairing: MGG X Reader

Word Count: 1835

Wear comfortable clothes today? Where is he taking you? When he says comfortable, how comfortable should you get. Is sweat pants date material? Is a dress too much? Decision, decisions.

You and Mathew have been dating for almost a year now. He has been in L.A filming for his show for two months. And the only line of communication is late night phone calls. You started to feel bad about it, he would work from the early am and not be done with filming until almost midnight. But he would still call you, telling you about his day, asking you about yours. Hearing his voice made you miss him even more.

But when he called you and told you that he has a weekend off, he decided to come see you. You couldn’t contain the excitement that bubbled up inside you. Rushing around your apartment, looking for something nice to wear for him. Throwing clothes from draws and your closet, putting clothes together to make an outfit. It shouldn’t take him long to get here. You quickly out on a pair of blue skinny jeans, a white v neck, a thin black cardigan, and your black converses. Deciding to go simply, nothing too much. You ran a brush through your hair, pulling it up into a messy bun.

As you put the finishing touches on your make up, you heard a knock at your door. Feeling the butterflies swell in your stomach, you made your way to the door, palms sweating. You grab your shoulder bag from your couch before making your way to the front door. Opening the front door, Mathew stood there, wearing tan jeans, a red mickey mouse sweater, with black and white converses. Smiling wide, you lunge at him, wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him close for a hug.

“Mathew!!” He wraps his long limbs around your waist, his face in your neck, inhaling your scent. He pulls away, planting his lips on yours. Deepening the kiss, he cups your cheeks, sliding his tongue into your mouth, licking the roof of your mouth. Your moan into the kiss, your grip on his neck tightening.

“Ewwww.” You pull away quickly, seeing your next door neighbors eight-year-old daughter staring at you from his door. “Miss Y/L/N, don’t kiss him. Boys have coodies.”

Mathew bends over, his hand on his knee, laughing hysterically. You can feel the deep red blush forming on your cheeks. “Hey Sammy, why don’t you go play in your room.”

Sammy squints her eyes, glaring at the two of you before closing the door. Feeling embarrassed, you give him a sympathetic look. He stands straight up, wiping tears from his eyes.

“So are you ready to go?” He asks, stuffing his hands in his pockets. You close and lock your door.

“Ready.”

“Well how much longer until we’re there?” You asked, being to feel anxious. The two of you have been in his station wagon, driving for more than two hours. Only seeing tree’s and grassy plains for miles. It was fine at first, he wouldn’t tell you where he was planning on taking you, which is adorable. You became curious half way through the drive, wanting to know where you are going and when you are going to be there.

“Maybe a half hour or so. I promise you are going to love it.” Taking his right hand of the steering wheel, he intertwined your soft hand in his, bringing your hand up to his lips, kissing your knuckles. You can feel your mood slowly dispersing. How can he make you feel so calm so easily? You always felt so relaxed when he’s with you, his aura was so refreshing. Sitting in the car with him, the smell of him on every surface of the vehicle, the sun shining over his skin, bringing you to complete bliss. It still amazes you how some as amazing as him could find you attractive, even interesting.

You met Mathew at a party, at some celebrity house. You didn’t know who, your friend dragged you there. After your friend ditched you for someone else, you were alone until Mathew came along. You talked throughout the whole night. He told you that he was an actor but you never seen any of his work, because you barely watch t.v. now. At the end of the night, you exchanged numbers, promising to call each other again. And that’s how it started. You been together ever since.

Driving for another 20 minutes you pull into a parking lot. Rows and rows of cars parked packed in the spots. You looked around, confused as to where he has taken you. Nothing around you gave you any clues. After a few minutes, Mathew parked the car, turning the car off. You looked at him with a raised eyebrow, a smile tugging at his lips.

“Where are we?” You said, taking off your seatbelt, stepping out of the car. Mathew stood at the end of the station wagon. He took hold of your hand, leading you down the rows of cars.

“Remember a couple of weeks ago you said that you haven’t been to an amusement park since you were young.”

“Mathew, you didn’t.” Feeling the excitement build up, stopping in the middle of the parking lot, you squeeze his hand. “Mathew, did you take me…”

“Yeah I did. We haven’t seen each other in 2 months. And I wanted to make this day special before I leave again.” Feeling your cheeks begin to sting from smiling so much, you peck his lips, running your thumb over his cheek.

“Thank you so much.”

“You’re very welcome. So let’s get this show on the road, yeah.” Putting on his sun glasses, he takes hold of your hand, leading you to the entrance of the theme park.

Receiving your tickets, the two of you enter the park, hand in hand. The memories of your childhood came flooding back, taking trips in the summer to your towns theme park with your family. You always loved the atmosphere that theme parks created. Fun and exciting. The smell of stale popcorn and cotton candy, the carnival music, and the sound of the laughter and screams of the crowd. Everything about it gave you nostalgia.

Squeezing Mathews hand, you took him to the first rollercoaster you saw around the park. Waiting in the lines for almost an hour to get on a ride that will only last about a minute, but it all was worth it just being with him. While waiting, he told you about L.A and his co-workers. He enthused about the episodes that he got to direct, his eyes twinkling with passion, his lips stretched into a wide smile. You love it when he spoke about things that he is passionate about, he trusted you completely to show you his personal side. It fascinated you, and filled your heart with admiration. After the rollercoaster, you went to the next one and so on. Mathew never complained, not even when he almost threw up on the accelerator. Even when you pleaded with him that he should take a break, he wanted to continue on, trying to spend the most time with his favorite girl.

You played carnival games, Mathew getting frustrated with the ring toss, playing ten times in a row and still not winning a single stuffed bear. You laughed, taking his hand and kissing it, encouraging him to toss it. Smiling, he shrugs his shoulders before he tossed the ring. It flew through the air, bouncing off a few bottle tops, before it landed perfectly on a red bottles neck. Jumping into the air, the two of you hug and cheer, as the vender hands you a big, plush panda bear. Stretching on your tip toes, you plant a kiss to his cheek, making him blush in the process. Taking your hand, you went on to the next booth.

Feeling like a kid again, dragging Mathew with you, the atmosphere of the park bringing joy to your heart. Laughing and spending time with him, knowing that he is a famous tv star, no one came and bothered the two of you all day. The two of you in your own little world.

Is this what they call love?

This light weight feeling that you get when you’re with the person you are destined to be with.

This must be heaven.

The sun long set, and the park is starting to close. Everyone is gathering around to watch the end of the day fireworks show. And there is enough time to ride on last ride before you have to leave for the day.

“Ferris wheel next. Best place to watch the firework.” He said, tugging you towards the circular ride. Getting into the cart, Mathew talking to the ride operator before he closed the door. You began to move around and around, you looked out of the side of the cart, the people walking about getting smaller, almost looking like ants. Sighing, you scoot next to Mathew, resting your head on his shoulder, as he brought his arm around you, pulling you closer to him. You sat in comfortable silence, listening to each other breath. Your cart stopped at the top of the Ferris wheel, looking over the whole park. The moon light your only source of light.

“Y/N?” Lifting your head to look at him, the light of the moon enhancing his features. He reached into his pocket taking out a small box. He rubbed his hand on his pants before his brown eyes stared into yours.

“We have been dating for a year now, and I know I haven’t been around a lot but every time I am with you, I just feel so jubilant. When we talk on the phone, even though I am tired as hell, I just have to hear your angelic voice before I go to sleep. You’re special to me, Y/N, and I want you to have this.” Opening the box, a small silver knot object sat on the silk pillow. Taking the object out of the box, you notice that it was a screw.

“It’s the screw that I had in my knee, I got it made into a necklace. I saved it for this very moment, giving it to the girl that I love.”

Feeling the tear cascading down your cheeks, you took hold of his neck, and crashed your lips to his. Putting all of your emotions into it, showing him how much you love and appreciate him.

Pulling away, you take the necklace out of the box, Mathew helped you put it on. The light weight of the screw sitting perfectly on your chest.

“Thank you. I love it. I love you, Mathew.”

“I love you too, Y/N.”

As you kissed again, the Fireworks show began. The cheers of the crowd drowning out as the two of you meld into each other, becoming one. The world becoming oblivious.

#Criminal Minds #mathew gray gubler #mathew gray gubler x reader #amusement park #date night #fluff #spencer reid #spencer x reader #spencer reid x reader

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highglossfinish · 8 years ago

Text

Tattletail

Welcome to the 'highglossfinish' room.

Leo: Maybe um... give it a moment? It takes them a little time to see posts... Cardinal: Hello! Knock Out: That would be the purpose of the frogs. Knock Out: Cardinal! Hello! Cardinal: ((*rollin my sick *** into the chat vroom)) Knock Out: Is the stream cooperating? Can everyone see the frogs? Cardinal: Alternate! It's been too long! Knock Out: Hasn't it though? Cardinal: I . . . see a beautiful "Offline" screen. Cardinal: Very colorful. Leo: ... there's frogs? Leo: Oh dear... Leo: It was just working! thenightetc: Same thenightetc: I mean, same that it's offline. Also it's lagging horribly, I can't even see what I'm typing Knock Out: Any better? Faeline: Well, there's video and sound this time... >.> thenightetc: oh! thenightetc: There it is Faeline: Why are there frogs? Knock Out: Excellent! Knock Out: Who cares? There's something!

Cardinal: I see them! Faeline: And flute music accompanied by... quacking? Cardinal: Very nice. Knock Out: Hmm...still there? Leo: I don't know why it could have started off like that, we checked it ten minutes ago. Thenightetc changed their nickname to thenighetc. thenighetc: *switches browsers* Leo: That creature is unsettling... Faeline: Is it some kind of demented furby? Knock Out: So you can still see it? Knock Out: It is indeed. thenighetc: Yyyyyes Leo: Yes, doctor. I'll ping you if something goes wrong on our end. Cardinal: ((A++++ design, totally looks like a legit 90s toy Knock Out: Excellent. Then without further ado, Tattletail! thenighetc: So this is what, a horror game? Knock Out: It is. Faeline: Looks like. Leo: I-I still can't believe... um, that I almost let Radar watch the stream with me... Leo: O-On Thursday! N-Not tonight! Knock Out: Please never let Radar see this. Knock Out: Or know that it exists. Thebes: Hello, I hear we are watching the furby-being horrors! Leo: That was why, um, I had a caretaker... um... come get him. Faeline: Why is the creepy music box tune a Christmas carol? Cardinal: Because Santa is about to show up and shame Rudolph for his noseglow. Faeline: Do not shame Rudolph! He can't help it. Faeline: >:( Cardinal: Don't tell me, tell Santa. Leo: ... what are you talking about? Faeline: Is this going to be Gremlins: the Game? Faeline: Rudolph is from a children's story. Leo: ... what is it? Faeline: He has a bright, shiny red nose. The story is about ~accepting your differences~ Faeline: with the unfortunate implication that as long as you're useful, you can be as weird as you want. Leo: ... I-I haven't read much Cybertronian history, but... wasn't that the basis of the caste system? Faeline: Maybe? I'm not much of an expert on Cybertronian culture. Leo: ... y-you would think that I would be, but... well Leo: I-I missed the mechanics, what does the yellow symbol mean? Faeline: I thought you were... whatever Cybertronians are instead of born... after the war had... uh. thenighetc: That you're making noise? Faeline: It's a sound symbol. Not sure what they're using it for here. Leo: W-Well... I... remember some things... th-they're not my real memories, but I can use them sometimes... thenighetc: (by the way everybody, do NOT update Firefox. :') Flash hasn't worked at all since I did this morning.) Faeline: Sorry, that was probably awkward. thenighetc: (*is slumming it in IE now*) Leo: N-No, i-it's okay! Faeline: (Thanks for the heads up.) thenighetc: (Going to see if I can roll it back a version or two after this.) Leo: Our patch is similar to um... "Google Chrome," and ours work just fine... Faeline: A french fry? Ewwww. thenighetc: (Don't have that one, just Firefox, Opera, and IE. :S) Leo: "Nope!" thenighetc: (But thanks!) Leo: Oh dear... that noise... Faeline: Yikes. thenighetc: I'm sure it means something GOOD Leo: It sounds... um... like an engine stalling out... Cardinal: . . . thenighetc: ...are they implying they blindd her Cardinal: Is the horror aspect that these hideous toys aren't returnable? Thebes: this can only be a good thing Leo: N-Nexus below... th-this is horrifying... Knock Out: Just popping up to save the chat log, don't mind me! Faeline: So what do we all think happens on Christmas? thenighetc: ...presents? Leo: I-I don't even want to think about it... Faeline: Maybe it'll be good! Maybe Ninja Santa will come to save us from the hell-furby. Leo: W-w-wait... wh-why are there two now... Leo: AHHHHHHHHHHh thenighetc: !! thenighetc: You know, this is just like that Elf on the Shelf movie. Leo: ... wh-what? Faeline: There was a movie about that? Why. thenighetc: You know, I don't have a good answer for that? Faeline: The Elf on the Shelf is a doll that you tell your kid is watching them. It's supposed to be cute, but it's actually horrifying. Leo: ... wh-why does it want to watch them? Wh-what does it want? Faeline: It's an inanimate object. It doesn't want anything. Faeline: The whole thing is made up as a ~flight of fancy~ for the kid, because clearly kids are incapable of playing pretend on their own. /sarcasm Leo: ... b-but why does it "watch them?" thenighetc: It's made up to scare them into behaving. Faeline: I'm not sure? I think it's supposed to be reporting to Santa but I'm not sure. Faeline: I never had one. thenighetc: ...What just happened Faeline: Who knows? Faeline: Maybe we're having a nightmare and at the end of the game we wake up. Maybe we're feverish and hallucinating. Maybe this is hell. Leo: N-Noises are, um... certainly a... um... main mechanic, aren't they...? thenighetc: "no I hate parties" Faeline: How can you brush it if it's solid plastic? thenighetc: Nah it has fur. Short fur, but stil Thebes: well this isn't at all creepy Faeline: Here's a better question: what if I smash mama with a poker? What then? Leo: I-It's like that game where there's the... um... what are they... trees. Faeline: Trees? Faeline: There's a horror game where you're menaced by trees? Leo: W-With the trees. A-And the notes. Faeline: Oh, Slender. Leo: M-Maybe? Faeline: For some reason I was thinking more along the lines of When Trees Attack. Leo: I-I'm sorry... Faeline: Nah, it was my misunderstanding. Faeline: Slender makes more sense, I was just thinking about the villains instead of mechanics. Leo: I-It's like the tree game... and um... and the fox game. thenighetc: Yeah, there's definitely some similarities to Five Nights at Freddy's thenighetc: ...combined with the worst escort mission ever Faeline: ...the worst escort mission ever? Leo: N-No, th-there's worse ones. thenighetc: You know. Having to bring some terrible little creature everywhere with you and look after it and stop it from getting you killed. thenighetc: ...I'm just saying. Faeline: I know what an escort mission is, I just wasn't sure if you were referrring to a specific one? Leo: ... th-there's an old game that R-Ratchet had a copy of... um... th-there were /so many/ escort missions... thenighetc: Oh! Nah, I just mean fffffffffffffffffffffffffff Leo: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Power_Rangers_Dino_Thunder_(video_game) Leo: Th-This one. S-So many escort missions. Faeline: Huh. Sorry, I haven't played that one. thenighetc: Huh Leo: A-Always have to um... escort the big one and i-it moves S-SO SLOWLY! thenighetc: ...Yeah, there probably are worse ones than this. Just. Y'know. There are similarites. Knock Out: I'm turning up the lights and it's not cheating because I already beat this disaster once. thenighetc: Apparently there's this WOW escort mission where you have to escort some old lady somewhere and she moves incredibly slowly and makes all these digressions. thenighetc: And then as soon as you finish she SPRINTS off Faeline: y i k e s Cardinal: You know we would support you even if you were cheating, alternate. thenighetc: Pure trolling Leo: A-And target damage i-is the worst! Faeline: Leave it to WoW to take it way past extreme. Cardinal: ((holy *** neighbor's cat just popped up outside my window and scared me Leo: Y-Your neighbout should w-watch their cat... Leo: Y-Your neighbour, excuse me... Knock Out: Scrap. Am I supposed to look straight at her or away from her? Knock Out: I STILL don't know. thenighetc: Ah well you see the uncertainty about what you're supposed to be doing is all part of the... ludonarrative... mumblemumblemumble... Leo: Th-The text says she moves when you don't look... I think you're not supposed to look at her... thenighetc: ...I just noticed that your footsteps are really way too loud on the grass, carpet, etc Knock Out: SCRAP SCRAP DRAINING GLITCH. Leo: A-And if you make a loud noise too close, like that thenighetc: Actually, too loud on the tile and stone, too! Like the player character wore big heavy boots to bed for some reason Thebes: then again, we've all had those times when everything was so quiet we felt too loud thenighetc: True. Maybe it's just loud in their imagination. Leo: I-I think that's what the yellow symbol is for? I-If you make too much noise while the "Mama" is close... maybe it makes her attack? thenighetc: (Imagine if Audrey kept saying "Give me a treat!" instead of "Feed me") Leo: ... th-that's the plant that sings and kills humans, right? thenighetc: That's the one! Leo: R-Ratchet listens to songs from that film... a lot. I-It's one of my favourites now... thenighetc: Yeah, it's pretty great. :) Cardinal: So you have to keep fulfilling the demands of the small Tattletails to keep the noise down so Mama won't find you? Leo: W-Well they talk anyway... thenighetc: It actually creeps me out how they're having you build this sort of shrine in the basemen thenighetc: t Knock Out: Oh, thank the Allspark. Leo: ... th-that's the plant that sings and kills humans, right? thenighetc: That's the one! Leo: R-Ratchet listens to songs from that film... a lot. I-It's one of my favourites now... thenighetc: Yeah, it's pretty great. :) Cardinal: So you have to keep fulfilling the demands of the small Tattletails to keep the noise down so Mama won't find you? Leo: W-Well they talk anyway... thenighetc: It actually creeps me out how they're having you build this sort of shrine in the basemen thenighetc: t Knock Out: Oh, thank the Allspark. thenighetc: What? Leo: I-If the game is moving, he doesn't um... doesn't answer. thenighetc: (What is this thing eating. HOW is it eating. Its mouth clearly doesn't go anywhere) Faeline: its mouth goes directly to hell. the food is dissolved by lava. Thebes: (also, what consitutes 'real food' that lets a toy differentiate from, say, humans) Leo: L-Literally stared death in the... um... demon holes Thebes: So this is happening thenighetc: ...apparently? Cardinal: . . . Leo: Wh... Wha... thenighetc: imagine the parents being woken up by this and coming downstairs Faeline: My mom would've killed me. Just, bam, grounded until I'm dead. Thebes: possibly would also have trouble sleeping for a while Leo: Sh-She doesn't move if you look at her... thenighetc: I guess the downside is she doesnt move AWAY if you look at her...? Leo: W-Well... that's why she wasn't leaving... a-and why he got Mama'd Leo: ... I-I think Bumblebee is getting a little freaked out by the audio... if he can even hear it... considering all the jokes latly... Leo: ... oh no, "lately," excuse me... Faeline: Is this phase just going to go on forever? Knock Out: Just...hard. Knock Out: Oh no, it's beatable. Faeline: Oh, you're reloading. Not sure how I missed that. Leo: Y-You could have fooled us... Leo: ... oh dear, that was rude... where did that come from... Faeline: Sorry, my brain seems to have turned inside out. Leo: ... um, y-you know what's a r-really fun horror game? Th-The Park. thenighetc: What's it like? Leo: Um, you um... y-you play as a... a human, and she goes into a... um... amusement park? Is that what you call it? A-After closing... um... because her... um... offspring ran in there Knock Out: Hah! Did it again! thenighetc: So there are... monsters? Spooky rides? thenighetc: *cheers* Leo: U-Um... a lot of just... um... jumps. N-No monsters... thenighetc: so what would have happened if you'd answerd the phone...? thenighetc: Hmmmm. Leo: B-But the um... the human? She... um... sh-she's not so uh... not so sane... a-and the park h-has things about it... thenighetc: What kind of things? Knock Out: And that's that! Leo: ... wh... but... wasn't she g-gone? Knock Out: And I have no idea. Knock Out: Apparently not. Faeline: I'm a bit confused myself. Knock Out: Collecting all the eggs is supposed to do something, but then...well. Faeline: But there's over 200 of them. Holy crap. Leo: A-and The Park um... has... th-there's a lot of "accidents" that happened... a-and the... what is it... um... they wear animal costumes... Faeline: The mascots? thenighetc: Maybe you have to collect the eggs before the ritual Knock Out: It said you just had to find 22, but clearly that was a lie. Knock Out: What filth. Faeline: We could check youtube and see if anyone else was that crazy. Leo: ... i-is this a mascot? http://blog.timesunion.com/christopher/files/2009/08/102_2509.jpg Knock Out: I could and I will. Faeline: Yup. thenighetc: Yep! Knock Out: Right now, I'm just glad Livestream didn't choke and die on the floor in front of us again. Faeline: Yyyyeah. thenighetc: That was a trip, anyway. Knock Out: It was, wasn't it? Knock Out: Thank you all for coming along on...whatever ride that was. thenighetc: Thank you for hosting! Knock Out: Always a pleasure! Faeline: Yeah, thanks! 0u0

#Stream chats #long post

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